"Zombies eat brains and she ain't got any!!" | Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) | Now Comedy

I mean it's not like I immediately wanted to start like wedding planning or anything you know I'm not crazy and who wants to get married in the winter anyway I mean the spring sure although my hair and the humidity pictures God man I cannot listen to this [ __ ] anymore my God it's been over a month yeah I'm bereft look okay I'm giving you one more day to mope around and then you gotta snap the [ __ ] out of it this whole fine home idea of yours has made us soft and by us I mean you it's high time that we nut up and hit the road again and by we I mean me that's where I belong on my own Lone Wolf you're welcome to tag along you know when they come back they are never coming back I got it okay all right [Applause] that's good you shot your alcohol with your gun not bad huh oh not bad but definitely no zkoty ZK oty that is zombie kill of the year like a junkie in search of a higher high Tallahassee is no longer happy with zombie kill of the week which if you're keeping score just went to Dave sanderman of Riverside Iowa you may want to set down the Milk Duds for this one you Dad zombie congratulations Dave I said I never told you this before in fact I never told anybody but I have Native American blood coursing through my veins right now yeah right now Blackfoot Indian to be exact freest men in history mid-1800s roamed the plains no houses no laws no possessions no chiefs to report to no wives to listen to they listened called buffalo and they hunted those Buffalo by hurting them off request to their dance great Buffalo Jump oh I don't know why I never told anyone about my black foot blood before I guess it's sacred little secret honestly you're the first pale face I have genuinely trusted because you've always been there for me you care when you listen you really listen unless you're in a 4D theater there is no way I can communicate how bad z-lan smells which is why I like candles so much today maybe a frosty gingerbread or a Bahama Breeze oh [Applause] oh my God I'm so sorry I I thought you were you said it was a zombie yeah of course oh my God no I don't even eat meat I'm a vegetarian vegan actually sorry hi I'm uh I'm Columbus Madison nice to meet you all right we're hugging soon nice to meet you nice remind me oh hello can I just if I can help my body hi sorry this is Tallahassee uh this is Madison Madison is this your dad for shit's sake slightly older better looking friend yeah you live here no Paul Blart I live in the freezer in Pinkberry it keeps the zombies out though it is awfully jelly do you ever consider turning it off couldn't find the switch like anywhere just hoping the electricity would run out I know it's amazing as long as it keeps raining the dams keep giving us power apparently not brain power I feel like you're being super judgy like I'm getting a real Auntie me vibe off of you are you oh my god there it was again yeah and that's hurtful okay I'm like really good at surviving I carry a can of Mace with me everywhere I go and they can run really really really really really really fast probably because I used to do a lot of like hot yoga and soul cycle cardio sorry I do a lot of cardio too it's actually my number one rule which is so dorky but I have like a I have like a list of rules for surviving Zombieland really yeah so do I you have a list of rules for surviving Zombieland actually mine is just mostly stay in the freezer oh you know we're we actually set up camp like down the road like at the White House um the White House oh my God would you want to come and like hang out I would love that cool okay how many rules do you have you want to know about my rules I want to hear all of them well number two is double tap double tap double tap yes double tap you you got me I murdered no okay yeah I I know what you're thinking she's like absolutely not my type but after Wichita broke my heart I was just excited to talk to somebody who smelled like a candle and not whiskey and gunpowder so Wichita and Little Rock left it was just us guys again you know Bachelors this guy you know making a mess which actually brings me to a rule number 53 wet naps wow yep I can't believe that you keep all this stuff in your head it's amazing thank you you know you're really lucky that you found someone so smart to take care of you yeah most people your age they get left all by themselves and that can be so sad yeah I am so lucky hey can we have a little Summit in the Oval Office yeah you guys I can't believe we're in the White House this is soy random Ness you know why she's still alive because zombies eat brains and she ain't got any all right it doesn't matter because I'm hitting the road come Sun up yes tour whoa the Oval Office you ready are you ready I'm ready too I'm ready great two [Applause] let's go kind of funny yeah he's great try not to speak to him okay the minion attraction the Lincoln bedroom and believe it or not Lincoln never even slept here I didn't actually want to tour zelly oh hi hi what's the matter don't you think that I'm pretty yes you're very pretty you're like girl in apartment 406 pretty um I just uh I feel kind of guilty because of Jesus look I've been alone in a freezer for years so either we're doing this right now or I'm biting the bullet and I am doing the old guy oh yeah [Music]

Channel: NOW COMEDY

Views: 1,914,067

Keywords: Now laughing, Movies, Film, Cinema, Movieclips, Movie Scenes, Movie Trailers, comedy, funny, laugh, zombieland: double tap, woody harrelson, jesse eisenberg, emma stone, zombie movie, zombieland 2019

Id: TASVI4bsmrA

Length: 7min 37sec (457 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 09 2023