- This month, the prolonged
Nickelodeon reboot, "Zoey 102," was released on Paramount+, proving that in today's
digital streaming age, studios are unwilling to produce original intellectual properties when they can simply
make spinoffs and sequels to existing shows and movies with a pre-established audience, even if said audience is no
longer asking to see that show and actually kind of hate it now. It's like if a five-star restaurant created an elevated
version of Spaghetti-Os. I didn't lose interest because it lacked age
appropriate branding. I simply have a whole new set of things that give me diarrhea now. And so it goes with "Zoey
102," the reunion film based on the iconic Nickelodeon
teen dramedy, "Zoey 101," which resurrects the original series with about as much creativity as the updated title would suggest. So get ready to catch up with Zoey Brooks, played by Jamie Lynn Spears, fresh off her most recent role
as a money-grubbing villain in the Free Britney movement, along with several of your
least favorite characters from the early thousands original in a paint by numbers,
yet hardly coherent story chock-full of throwaway
explanations for glaring plot holes, important character developments that were seemingly assigned at random, and an overall unsatisfying assortment of vaguely familiar faces that will make you feel a little sad as though you just caught the vacant stare of your first grade teacher while volunteering at a nursing home. So grab your backpack and let's head back to
Pacific Coast Academy for exactly one scene
at the end of the movie for a follow-up to a show that fell off installment
of Clip Breakdown. (static blares)
(upbeat music) Hello, television
viewers. My name is Nick. Thank you so much for joining
me once again on my channel for another installment of Clip Breakdown. This is the playlist where we
dive into our favorite movies, TV movies, and other such
content here on the web, and we break it down like the boring story
you told your friends about high school that
we're sick of hearing, to look at each individual
stanza and line and decide, is this worthy of your long-term memory or should we forget it right away? And mama, this is about as
forgettable as they come. It might as well have left
my brain on read only, but before we get into all that, make sure you give this
video a big thumbs-up. That way you never miss
new videos from me. I upload two new ones every
week and turn on notifications. That way you'll always
be the first to know when I'm coming into your inbox with a new invitation to my wedding, because a wedding is where
it all begins for "Zoey 102," a feature film reboot that I
will only preface by saying this was in talks of being
a thing over two years ago if listening to the Drama
Channel Sloan, which I do, because it's back then when "Zoey 101" was floating around the internet
as a potential new series that would come out, especially in the wake of
rebooted Nickelodeon series like "iCarly" and with the
acquisition of Nickelodeon Viacom by Paramount for their new
premium streaming service, Paramount+, which is
where you'll find this. So there are obviously plenty
of different directions you could go when rebooting a series from the millennial nostalgia
requiem for a dream. It for a writer would probably be exciting if they were sure that they
could recapture the same tone and feeling and general excitement that the original series had. That was an added challenge
for this production since the show's original
creator, Dan Schneider, has since parted ways with Nickelodeon in the wake of many
controversial allegations. And on top of that, many of the
cast members from "Zoey 101" have since spoken out against their difficult
or toxic environment they experienced while
on set for "Zoey 101," which means not every
cast member did return for this reboot, although
some had to back away for supposed scheduling conflicts, like one of the brightest
stars to exist post-"Zoey 101," Victoria Justice. Other than that, the show's
original cast can be seen on other television
projects here and there, but many of them have simply
not worked since the 2000s. The show's star, Jamie Lynn Spears, has of course remained in the zeitgeist. She is, for example, on
the show "Sweet Magnolia," a Netflix original, although
most are more familiar with her more recent time in the tabloids as a potential member of oppression in Britney Spears'
abusive conservatorship. Supposedly, Jamie Lynn was
profiting off of Britney's money for all of these years and
therefore had a vested interest in making sure Britney
Spears remained silenced by her conservatorship that
was, according to the courts, illegally enforced. So of course, Jamie Lynn
Spears has some detractors and that's what made it a
particularly interesting choice for them to go ahead
and reboot this movie, which finds Zoey over 15
years after her final day at Pacific Coast Academy, the all-boys' boarding school in Malibu, which Zoey was part of the
first class of girls to join. Now we find Zoey as a working girl. She is a TV producer on a
"Love Island" type reality show called "Love Fully Charged," in which a cast of couples
has to either choose love over a fictional Pontiac Charger that is sort of like a Tesla stand-in because it's self-drive. Anyway, it's clear from the first scene Zoey is very good at her job, helping her main contestant that she seems to story produce for say the right things on camera, even though he's kind of empty-headed. This guy's name is Jordan B. and he's the production favorite to win, and even though she's clearly helping this part of the show flourish, she is overlooked by her boss. His name is Kelly Kevyn,
played by Thomas Lennon, who you might recognize from "Reno 911," who in this scene passes
over Zoey for a promotion to be a member of the live team
for the finale of the show, favoring instead all of the
men on the cast and crew. It's also in this scene where we realize this is an upgraded reboot, okay? Meant for an aged millennial audience. So we're not making
kids' television anymore. We can say curse words. - It's some freaky (beep), freaky new (beep). In fact, tell Pontiac
if they don't like it, In fact, tell Pontiac
if they don't like it, they can kiss my tiny little nuts. - Ooh, that was just our
first little Easter egg referencing the original series. Eagle-eyed fans will notice
that the character, Kelly Kevyn, this temperamental show runner who likes to talk about freaky (beeps) and his unusual testicles, is an homage to Dan Schneider,
the creator of "Zoey 101," who, once again, Nickelodeon
had to cut ties with once his status as an obvious pervert became obvious. Meanwhile, Jamie Lynn is like, "Wow, y'all, he sounds just like my daddy, but without the confederate
(beeps) hole accent." We know, sweetheart. Go to therapy. The first few scenes of the movie are devoted to letting us know that Zoey's life is not
all that it could be, despite her production job in Hollywood. Her car is broken down and she has to get a ride
from her friend, Archer, who for some reason gets to drive the car that is on the show, like
it's the prize for the show, but he has to drive it around because he's a favorite of Kelly Kevyn. They, through exposition, tell us that Archer used
to be Zoey's intern, but then he got promoted above her, again alluding to this
patriarchy and all of these other what some may call woke
elements of the movie, which are actually kind
of just a reference to what really happens, but regardless, I wish we could have had actual scenes showing that favoritism
of Kelly being like, "Hey, why don't you take the car? Zoey, why don't you get
the (beeps) out of here?" But regardless, Archer is
still a good friend to Kelly, to Zoey. These names are gonna be a mess. And during their car
ride, Zoey's lamenting that life just isn't going
the way she always thought back during the original series, I mean, her teenage years. - I just think about all the things I dreamed about in high
school and now I'm here. Is this it? Is this the dream? - It's really gross how often
you talk about high school. - You see why queer
representation is so important in our TV and film? Who else, other than the best friend wearing fake nails and Fenty lip balm, is going to tell the main
character of a romantic comedy that their personality is basic and the things that matter to them are making other people sad? In the gay world, it's called tough love, or in the straight world, regular hate. You go, Archer. Now say something about how
she looks like a tired Muppet when the curls in her
hair start to fall out. It may have been intentional, but the first few scenes of this movie make it seem like 30-year-old Zoey is just one long workday away
from showing us what happens when Miss Piggy misses a sleep cycle. And I'm not just trying to pick on Jamie Lynn Spears here, okay? In fact, there are several
members of the cast of "Zoey 102" who have been gracious enough to return and show us what their
characters would look like in modern day, specifically how puffy
their faces have gotten. And I just happen to be the sassy gay who was assigned to point
out all of those changes while also taking some
time to endorse meal kits and mail-order coffee pods. Sorry, straighties. If society wants to be homophobic, then we're gonna give them
something to be afraid of. Zoey makes her way home
and is about to relax when she gets a call from
our next returning character from the original series, Quinn. If you recall, Quinn was
like the nerdy science girl who was always inventing
these cool gadgets, and surprise, surprise, she
has flourished in adulthood while also embracing her natural beauty by no longer wearing yarn in her hair and taking off her glasses. She points out that she had
mailed something to Zoey and Zoey is opening it up, trying to figure out what's going on. - Come on, open it. I
only have a few minutes. - The new Techmate? These
aren't even out yet! The unbreakable see-through phone. It's even better in person. I guess it pays to know the inventor. - Listen, I'm all for the
fictional technological devices that Nickelodeon likes to dream up for their stupid little shows,
but this is too unrealistic. Your mobile provider wants to invent an unbreakable smartphone the same way the CIA wants to invent a less addictive crack cocaine. That's like the only thing that gives them power over the masses. Also, the hubris of mankind
to call something unbreakable. When will we learn? Remember when they called the
Titanic an unsinkable ship? By the end of that movie,
they had those lifeboats paddling through a sea
of perished passengers, frozen babies bobbing around like the boba in your bubble tea. I know not many people like
to point out the similarities between that terrible tragedy and the fun Asian novelty drink and even fewer will find
a way to connect that to this poorly-written
character catch-up exposition. But I'm just one of God's
bravest soldiers, I guess. This is where Quinn is joined
by her fiance, Logan Reese, who was like the cool rich kid, one of the boy cast members
of the original show, kind of a douchebag then, kind of one now. Quinn is like, "We're getting married. Surprise, surprise. Can
you come to our wedding? It has to be really soon 'cause I as the inventor
of the new Techmate have to be in London for the
launch forever after this." So because Zoey has recently
not been promoted to be on set for the live taping of
her show, she's like, "Sure, I can make it." But if she expressed any sort
of hesitance, Quinn was like, "Please, everyone's gonna be
there and we never see you." And that's where Zoey's
like, "People see me. I've just been really busy." When really it seems like she's been avoiding
her high school friends for the last 15 years, not just because she's
grown apart from them, as she should have, but because her once
flourishing romance with Chase, the love interest from
the original series, died out shortly thereafter
the series ended. Another reason you'll know
that the "Zoey 101" cast is in their thirties now is because they're
allowed to drink alcohol and instead of just
treating juice like alcohol, as they do on Nickelodeon shows, they actually have hilarious
dependencies on drinking. Not only does Zoey get drunk
while scrolling through her previous friends' Instagram feeds, which gives us a sort
of pictorial catch-up on what a lot of these
characters are doing now, that's just the first of several moments in which we see Zoey
really reach for the bottle when she could probably
reach for the phone and call a friend. ♪ I used to be an angel, now I'm not ♪ (gulping) - I just want to sing,
drink, and drink a lot. - Yeah!
- Yeah! - (chuckles) Things aren't going right, so she uses wine to feel different. It's like drinkable pornography or socially acceptable cruelty to animals. Always safe, healthy, and hilarious. Even more bewildering besides the fact that Zoey
barely talks to these people, yet she's still asked to
be in the wedding party, is that they all live in the same city, or at least southern California. That's when we go to the
wedding dress fitting, where Zoey meets up with the
rest of the bridal party. But before she can even
enter, she sees Stacey, a recurring character from "Zoey 101" and now the host of a true crime podcast, which is clearly a copy
of "My Favorite Murder." She's talking to one of Quinn's coworkers and explaining why she would be surprised if Zoey even shows up. That's when we get a little bit of info about what happened to
Zoey after high school that caused this rift. - I think she's still
stuck on her ex, Chase. - The best man? - They were supposed to spend
the summer after senior year together in Hawaii, but they broke up. I don't think she knows
that Chase has a girlfriend. They're so cute together. - Oh, in case you don't remember
from the original series, Zoey, the 101 Brooks, is
comedically uncoordinated. She wasn't born a graceful ballerina like all other hot girls. Here, she's so cute and clumsy that she tripped over
her own clunky backstory. But if you ask me, it's all an act because she knows how much
guys love a quirky girl who can't stand up on her own. Yeah, that's right, Zoey. I don't believe you because you never have
any visible injuries after any of your horrible,
adorable slip-and-fall incidents and that only makes sense for anime girls. I need you to end a
blunder with a broken tooth or show me a manic pixie broken pelvis. Otherwise I am not giving
you a ride to the neurologist for your equilibrium disorder. This got me thinking about
the TV and movie trope of the smart clumsy woman, so I read up a little bit
more about it in an article called "The Dangers of the
Clumsy Successful Woman Trope" by Olivia Smith. Quote, "These women are
always beautiful, smart, and most importantly,
very good at their jobs." As we saw from her time on set, that describes Chloe, Zoey to a T. According to the article, quote, "In order to make these women
more palatable to audiences, writers and writers' rooms have to give them some kind of flaw. Successful women are
written to be total bitches (think Miranda Priestly), or in this case, they are written to be kind
of a walking disaster." End quote. Think Liz Lemon, Andy from
"The Devil Wears Prada," and also Zoey who was always falling down and hitting her (beeps) face on (beeps). During this dress fitting, Zoey accidentally gets caught
in this lie that she tells in order to feel successful by saying that she has a
boyfriend named Hugo Hemsworth, a distant cousin of
the Hemsworth brothers, and that things are going great and she has a great job and a great car. She also agrees to go pick up Quinn's ring in some far-away California place. I don't remember. And she lies more about
how Hugo Hemsworth, her fictional boyfriend,
gonna pick her up, all of these things. And sometime after
leaving the dress fitting, she gets a call from
Kelly Kevyn, her boss, being like, on tonight's episode,
our guy, what's his name, their favorite to win the show was asking where Zoe was. So basically Kelly never
realized how important she was for the show's success, so he's like, "You gotta get back here now." And she then gets invited to
be the only woman producer on the team for that live episode finale. But that means suddenly she has
a conflict with the wedding, which she agreed to be in because she didn't think
she had the job anymore. But she's not just gonna
go down without a fight. This is where they set up the stakes. She really wants to get ahead in her job and also really wants to, A, see Chase, who is the best man for
Logan at the wedding, and prove to her friends that she's fine. She's not just some girl who
doesn't talk to them anymore. Ah, ah, I'm talking too much. It's making me sweat. Can you imagine getting this worked up and then having to go turn on an oven to cook a dinner for myself? It's not gonna happen
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crawling to that stove for some good old comfort food after this. That's when it's time to
formulate a new mission. - [Zoey] I needed three things, a
boyfriend, a car, and a plan. - That was me trying to get
to the Taylor Swift concert for under $3,000, and guess what, baby? I made it. Although in this case, my
boyfriend ended up being one of my sister's
well-connected lesbian friends, which is honestly a net positive because I didn't have to
give anyone meaningful looks every time a love song came on when it was actually
reminding me of my dog. Zoey basically uses her new position that she was demoted to, which was reviewing casting
tapes for the reality show, to find the perfect boyfriend to help pull this whole ruse off, some guy who does an Australian accent. His real name is Todd, although she has him pretend to be Hugo and basically she gives the pretense that like if you do this for me, I'll help get you on the show, 'cause obviously he's a struggling actor. It's then conveniently laid out
that the wedding takes place 2.5 miles away from the finale taping and in order to get a car, she just steals that show
car that Archer was using and that the show is
gonna give away as a prize and it's like a self-driving device that takes her to and from each
location without much issue, a drive that they make
constantly because soon enough, we are at the engagement party. This is after we set up a
whole bunch of kooky characters in Quinn's family, the grandmother. Logan is like all into making
this a big fancy event, which is so not Quinn's speed with the life-size cakes and whatever. That being said, Hugo
Hemsworth makes a dashing debut with his Australian accent pretending to be a pediatric surgeon and that gives Zoey the space to run back to the set in Malibu, when something goes wrong with Jordan B. Yes. Anyway, prepare yourself for
the first of many commutes to and fro. ♪ Good for you ♪ ♪ I guess you moved on really easily ♪ I have to admit, it's
a little disappointing to think of all of the things this "Zoey 101" reboot could have been. Like I said a few years ago, there was talk of it being
a full-on "Zoey 101" series. Personally, I think we
all dodged a bullet there. I could barely sit through
this hour and 40 minute movie. That being said, it still
could have been funnier, could have been less generic. It could have even been a reboot for "Ned's Declassified
School Survival Guide," which is what the
internet actually wanted. But probably for me, the biggest letdown is that it could have been
about 40 minutes shorter, if not for the momentum-killing,
lyric-heavy pop songs that pop up every three to five minute in order to pad the runtime out beyond that of an hour-long special. ♪ Me over ♪ ♪ You say you're turning evil ♪ ♪ Know that your camera roll ♪ ♪ That I'm losing my best friend ♪ ♪ I'm just waiting for your love ♪ ♪ If it's true you're gone ♪ "Zoey 102," now streaming on Paramount+. We may have no new ideas and
the screenplay may be written by the same artificial intelligence that handles customer service at Costco, but we also have access to Viacom's library of music licenses. So sit back, relax,
and turn off your brain as we play the intro and first
verse to "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings over another extra-long
sequence of Zoey's car on the Pacific Coast Highway, intended to help sell that
this was shot in actual Malibu rather than North Carolina in order to receive tax incentives that helped us pay for Jamie
Lynn's hair extension Wrangler. Wow.
("That's Not My Name") This is actually great filmmaking if you don't think about it. There are many notable
absences from the cast who you might expect
to see in this reboot. For example, like I
mentioned, Victoria Justice, but also Dustin, who was
Zoey's little brother, who has been very outspoken
against Jamie Lynn throughout the entire
Free Britney movement. We're also missing my favorite
character, Nicole Bristow, played by Alexa Nikolas, who
has spoken out in recent years about the toxic environment
she received on set being bullied by Victoria and Jamie Lynn and apparently even the
actress who played Quinn. So it makes sense why they
wouldn't, A, invite her back, and B, even bother to provide a backstory about where she was. Victoria Justice, who is still in good
graces with the production, is at least name-checked by having somebody think
that Jamie is Lola. And with those absences, they
had to obviously bring back some of the recurring
characters, namely Stacey, the podcast host who
we just met, and Mark. He was actually one of the
other recurring characters who appeared most in the show. Now he's married to Stacey. - This is Mark, my field producer. - Husband.
- Uh-huh. - Didn't you and Quinn used to-- - Date, yes. Yeah, it was just a fling,
but this is the real deal. - Wow. I'm so glad Todd, who just
met all of these people, was able to so quickly decipher how Mark and Stacey both
connected to the original series because even though I watched
a fair amount of Zoey 101 back when it airs, I didn't immediately recognize
that they were on it. Sorry, you two. I think your parts must
have somehow been suppressed along with an adjacent memory
from when I was 15 years old. Did your first episodes come on the air around the same time I
met that guy on Craigslist who would trade me alcohol for pairs of my unwashed sweatpants? Actually, I don't know how either of you would have that in information. I'll just have to ask Sweatpants Charles when he comes to pick up
these later on. (retches) Now, obviously the central
setting to "Zoey 101" and the reason for its title
being named after a class is because it took place
at Pacific Coast Academy, where once again, the
whole school was adjusting to having their first class of girls attend a traditionally all-boys' school. We haven't heard nothing
about PCA yet in this movie until that night, after
Zoey comforts Quinn because her husband is all trying to make it a big fancy wedding
and she doesn't want that. And Zoey has already spent
time trying to massage the fact that Jordan keeps messing
up his image on TV by dying his hair. Zoey is like, "Why don't we go out for
karaoke and just live a little?" So that's what they do and we get a little bit more
info on what happened to PCA. - You all went to high school together? - So sad what happened. - The school wasn't even accredited. Dean Rivers was stealing students' tuition and blowing it at Barrago
Casino and Resort. - Thanks, Stacey. I'm so glad that the TV producers think you turned out pretty enough
to be a main character now so that you can verbally explain all of these complicated retcon events that could have easily served
as the inciting incident for this movie. By the way, Zoey, I'm so sorry to hear about
your little brother Dustin. He was abducted from a Walmart in 2010 and that's what caused
Zoey to start drinking. Seriously, what is with this generic plot and I have to have two prom dates at once? Like those were all generic sitcom plots when they could have
easily been like, what? PCA is unaccredited and now
I'm gonna lose my degree and my job if I can't go back
and pass a high school final one more time? That would already be
funny and interesting. They went with all of this
nonsense where Michael, he loses his voice and
can't officiate the wedding even though Lyric, the soon to
be daughter-in-law of Logan, or niece in-law is the Gen Z
connection through all of this. - We are gathered here today to celebrate this thing called patriarchy. Which has been used for
centuries to oppress women by buying and selling them. It's also kept the majority of
wealth in the male minority. Paramount+ has made
sure to crowd the story with plenty of virtue-signaling dialogue, at least as much as possible without adding any new
main characters of color and without featuring any LGBTQ+ people prominently enough to off
the Boycott Bud Light crowd, you know, the conservatives
who were so incensed about their favorite beer going woke by including a trans person
in their marketing campaign, that they hit the brand where it hurt by ceremoniously pouring
out all of the Bud Light they had already paid for and
proudly declaring from now on, I will only drink Budweiser, Busch, or any other hard beverage
from the same parent company as the one that was
trying to destroy America by bringing my subconscious
gay thoughts to the surface. Very smart for "Zoey 102" to include other non-cliche
characters and character traits in a much more subtle, less
meaningful sort of way. - Wouldn't believe how many mean women and non-binary people I get. - You should do our wedding. - Oh, I'm down. - How do you feel? - Like I'd rather be getting
married in a lab coat. - Okay, that might not seem like much, but just think about it. Those two gay guys were also Asian. And let's not forget
that Quinn is a woman, but she's also smart and
doesn't like wearing dresses. I mean, I don't really understand
why a smartphone inventor would even need to be in a lab setting, but I guess there's no reason in showing a successful woman in STEM if science doesn't also make
up her entire personality to the point where it
almost doesn't make sense. Chase is convinced that
Zoey's boyfriend hates him because of their kind of
karaoke battle the night before. And Chase is going for a
run when he smacks his face in a brutal way on the car door
to her Pontiac made-up thing and accidentally gets
trapped in it with her while they make the two-hour
drive to Santa Barbara to pick up the ring. A bunch of shenanigans happen there. Zoey's fake boyfriend fills
in for her at the bridal party being one of the girls, where he also kind of
lets slip his real accent, and that gets Stacey's attention 'cause she's trying to
find the Malibu murderer this whole time. Either way, they get the
ring and on the way back, Zoey is basically like, "I'm
sorry I left you in Hawaii that year after high school." She's like, "I just got worried that
things wouldn't work out, so I bailed." And it's like, girl, you
are some kind of mess. - So I just bailed. I've tried to move on,
I've tried to forget, but no matter what I did,
it always came back to you. I know that sounds ridiculous. - Wow. We finally saw Zoey 101 and Chase admit that they love each other and kiss, only 15 years after we
finally saw Zoey 101 and Chase admit that they love each other and kiss. Everyone loves a prolonged will they, won't they relationship, and I guess some people will
also tolerate a will they? Oh, they already did, but
now they're gonna do it again even though it's less
culturally relevant relationship as well. That reminds me, I'm gonna go ahead and cancel
my Paramount+ subscription. I would rather buy a crown
full of blood diamonds than give one more
penny to these monsters. At this point, Chase also admits that
the girlfriend he brought, who Zoey's been jealous of the whole time, actually broke up with him two weeks ago, but she agreed to go to help
make him not look like a loser. So blah, blah. Both of these two leading
characters are maladjusted. The car runs out of battery and so the two have to
basically run to the wedding as it's beginning, which to me
is like, what is this movie? Why is it five sitcoms just glued together with horse hooves? But Zoey and Chase make
it at the last minute and the wedding is going on. Zoey is doing her plan
of using the earpiece to communicate with Jordan so that he can say the right things at the simultaneously taping finale and everything is going well until field producer/husband of Stacey, who is filling in for Michael, who's officiating the wedding,
gets a lead and she reads it and that leads them to think that somehow, they never explain why this is, the witness sketch of the Malibu murderer looks exactly like Hugo/Todd and that matches up
with Stacey's suspicions when he did not use the right accent. - It's you. How did I not see it sooner? This man is the Malibu murderer. - I'm not a murderer, I'm an actor. - Wow, I can't believe Quinn
and Logan almost got married before this shocking revelation that has nothing to do
with their relationship or ability to get married. Either way, it was Stacey's responsibility to derail her best friend's wedding by accusing someone of
murder without evidence. After all, she has the number one true
crime podcast in the country, which also makes it the
police, an elected jury, and the district attorney of Malibu. Zoey gets caught being on an earpiece with the production
taping and Quinn is like, "Why didn't you just
tell me you had to work?" And she was like, "'Cause
this was so important to you." And then she's like, "No,
no, I could explain," and that is all cycled through Jordan, who is on stage and on camera, making it seem like he's
given up on his love and chooses the car over the girl that he was set to win with. It's a very cliche thing. I don't think I have to overexplain it. And that's when Logan, who is the fiance, is like, "Quinn, what's going on?" And she's like, "And about you and the thing where you made
this wedding too fancy." It's like, yeah, but would you
still have a problem with it when it's all over, all
that fancy planning is done, and you're like at the wedding? But she takes it as a reason to leave. Really weak kind of
third act conflict here. - None of this is what I wanted. ♪ I'm so smart ♪ ♪ Why do I feel so dumb ♪ - No, not Quinn running out on the wedding that I never really cared about, jeopardizing the relationship that I was never really invested in. I think the filmmakers realized the screenplay hadn't done enough to earn the necessary
dramatic tension here. But I have to admit, they
still made this sequence emotionally difficult to sit through by pairing it with the worst song I've ever heard in my life,
which we get to hear in full, marking the point where
it feels like this movie was taken off life support
and now all that's left to do is stand around in sadness
for about 15 minutes until we can officially declare it over. At least we're no longer in any pain. Zoey meets up with Chase on
the beach who admits like, oh, we've both been lying to each other and someone has the idea. We're like, if only we
go back to high school. And Zoey's like, that's
exactly what we'll do. And she rallies the whole wedding party, who should have all gone
back to work by now, but they are going to return
the defunct abandoned PCA, where they can fix it up and surprise Quinn with
the wedding she deserved, one in an abandoned field. Then it's just up to
Logan to swallow his ego and his desire for fancy things and make this no-frills proposal to Quinn. (soft music) I'm sure to most people, that balloon apology would seem sweet, but it just hits a little
too close to home for me because that's exactly how
Pennywise the clown let me know that I needed to get tested for chlamydia. Also, it was pretty
bold of Logan to assume that Quinn would be looking out the window and ready to read those balloon messages as they floated into the sky. He is just lucky they were
moving unnaturally slow due to an otherworldly wind current, or perhaps it was the
clearly visible fishing line. Either way, he convinces Quinn to come. They surprise her with this wedding. She gets married in a lab coat
like she said she wanted to and everything gets tied up. Chase and Zoey even say, "I hope you're in my
future, blah, blah, blah." They kiss and the DJ plays the final song. (upbeat music) Okay, they did Jamie Lynn dirty by making that her
final shot in the movie. The director said, "Okay, for this scene, all of the wedding guests
are dancing and having fun. Quinn and Logan are cutting the
wedding cake and Jamie Lynn, you're doing the Charlie Brown dance in a huge T-shirt with no bra. Okay, action." But all is well that ends well, not without this final hilarious button showing that Hugo/Todd
may not be as innocent as he was thought to be. - You guys get home safe, okay? (suspenseful music) Shh. - Aww, look. Little Dustin, the abducted brother, made it to the wedding after all. Aww, what a nasty little ending
to this stupid little film. ♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪ ♪ Hands up, your brother died ♪ And that's all she wrote for "Zoey 102," the worst movie I have seen this day. Let me know what you think
in the comments below. Also give this video a big thumbs-up if you want to see more from
Paramount+ Nickelodeon reboots. But most importantly, if
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new videos from me. I upload two new ones every week. You guys are all the greatest. Thank you so much for surprising
me with a lab coat wedding. I will see you next time. (static blares)
