male narrator:
From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters
in New York, "The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah" presents... [hip-hop music] ♪ ♪ - Biden has
especially strong support among black women. A lot of people are wondering
why that is. So to help us find out, let's turn
to an actual black woman. Dulcé Sloan, everybody.
- Hey. [cheers and applause] It's me!
- Come on, Dulcé. - Hello.
- So... This feels like a conundrum.
Dulcé, help me understand. Why are so many black women
leaning toward Joe Biden? - I don't wanna talk about
this political shit, Trevor. [exhales sharply]
Idris Elba got married, and I'm sad. - Oh, Dulcé, I understand. Be--because you loved Idris and now you have to look
for another dream man. That's why you're sad. - No, I'm sad because
now I got to kill somebody. [laughter] - Ok--okay,
let's--let's move on. Dulcé focus--focus on politics.
- Hmm? - Why do you think Biden is
doing so well with black women? Like many people expected,
uh, black women to support Corey Booker
or Kamala Harris. - Well, let me break it down
for you. Corey and Kamala are fine, but if I'm completely honest-- if I'm completely honest, they got a bit
of an image problem. I mean Corey's nice,
but he remind you of that cousin
that's a tattletale. You know,
even when no one asked, just snitching
for the love of the game. Like, "Oh, she did this."
[whines mockingly] Uh-uh,
and then Kamala looks like a mean Vice Principal, you know. [light laughter] She just comes up like,
"Dulcé... "I want what's best for you, "which is why
I'm giving you detention. Corey, thank you
for coming right to me." - Ok--okay, like-- okay, I see what you're saying,
in terms of an image, but, okay, it doesn't explain
why black women then don't go for someone like
Elizabeth Warren then. I mean she's addressed
specific issues that black women have
like reparations, the black maternal
mortality rate. Why are black women
going with, like, a guy who's got the crime bull
and Anita Hill on his record? - Listen, don't get me wrong. Younger black women will probably go
with Elizabeth Warren, but for older black women,
they're gonna go with Biden. Because if Biden
becomes President, then Obama is back
in the White House. [cheers and applause] - Well... - Yeah, yeah! - Wait, wait, wait.
- [laughs] - No, wait, wait.
But that's not true. Obama can't be president again. - Who said anything
about president? [scoffs]
If Joe Biden wins, he's gonna invite Obama over
for dinner and where's dinner? - The White House.
- Boom! [cheers, laughter,
and applause] Obama's back in the White House. I mean it's sneaky,
but it's all we got. [laughter]
- Okay, fine. So maybe that explains
black women support. But what's interesting to me,
Dulcé, is that Democrats overall
seem to be going with Biden, which--which is strange,
like, considering how diverse and fresh most of
the other candidates are. - Of course, yeah. This--this is just
a simple case of familiar dick. [audience exclaims and laughs] - Familiar dick? - Yeah, see--listen. Y'all know
what I'm talking about, okay. There's that one dude you been hooking up
with for years, right? And sometimes
you try someone different, but you always go back to him. That's familiar dick. [laughter, cheers,
and applause] Y'all get it. [cheers and applause] Thank you.
Like-- listen. You know how well it does,
what it does. I mean, sure, he's 37 and
sells drugs on a child bike... [laughter] But it's the dick you know. [laughter] - I can safely say
I didn't know that women categorized dick
that way. - Yeah, we got familiar dick, broke dick, rich dick... [laughter] Mediocre dick, always lets you
borrow his car dick. [laughter] - Okay, so if I understand
what you're saying, you're saying
Joe Biden's politics is the familiar penis that
the Democrats wish to return to. - Now, you're getting it,
dimple dick! Ha! [laughter and applause] - Ok--okay. So... so... please don't encourage her. So...
[laughter] As a voter
and as a black woman... - Mm-hmm?
- Who do you prefer then? Familiar dick or new dick? - Neither.
I prefer British dick. I'm coming for you, Idris! ♪ ♪ - The Conservative
Sixth District around Muncie, Indiana is not where
you would expect to find a black woman running
for Congress or bees. - My name is Jeannine Lake
and I'm running for U.S. Congress
in the 6th District. Ni--nice to meet you. - Jeannine Lake
has her work cut out for her. Not only is she running
against Greg Pence, a conservative
who is so white he makes his brother
look like Suge Knight, her district
is also 92% white. But remarkably,
she won the primary. - I beat five guys to get here. - Who guys?
- Five white guys. - You beat five white guys?
- Yeah. - Man, I feel so much better
about this situation. - I'm excited to run
and win in this district. I know that I can win. - Black Girl Midterm Magic.
Ding. As the first black woman to win the nomination
in her district, Jeannine is an inspiration, but she needs help. That's where the DCCC
could come in. The Democratic Congressional
Campaign Committee helps candidates with
logistics, advice, and money. Because you need lots of money
to win. But there's one problem. - I've called them personally
and we have not had a response. - What about an e-mail?
- No e-mails. - Text?
- No. - Page?
- No. - Messenger boy? - We've been rejected on all forms of communication
at this point. - So, basically,
they broke up with you. - They really didn't even
give us that first. - Oh my God,
you got broken up with somebody you hadn't been with
in the first place? - It hurt.
- Oh, this is inappropriate. You know what?
I'm a be right back. I'm a be--camera man, come on.
I'm not--mm-mm. I wanted to talk to the DCCC,
but they stood me up. So to find out
why the organization was swiping left
on a nice lady like Jeannine, I went to see
their former boss man, Steve Israel, and just in case
he was single, I got my hair done. I was trying to understand, why is it the DCCC trying
to break Jeannine Lake's heart? - It's not about
breaking her heart, uh, and I know
how frustrating it is for her, uh, because so many candidates
have that experience, but the Democrats are going to
be outspent by the Republicans and so they've got
to put their money into races
that are competitive. - You're telling me that the DCCC is a broke dude? But you got to prove
that you're worthy for him to even call you back? Broke dudes
are always trash Steve. They have the best sexy time,
but they're trash. - That broke dude, uh, is going
to be the difference between a rubber stamp Republican
Congress for Donald Trump or a check and balances
Congress for Donald Trump. - I hear you, but you ain't even
calling us back Steve. If I'm running for your party, at least call a sister back. That's all I'm saying. - It-it's not about
not calling her back. Everybody deserves respect. But I have to say,
at the end of the day, you make decisions not based on whether the candidate is
a black woman or a white dude. You make decisions based on
a cold-blooded assessment of what districts are winnable. - So you think
she's not going to win? [clicks tongue, groans] I have to talk
to her about this. Turns out there are
too many fish in the sea for the DCCC to fall in love with the long shot
like Jeannine. To break the bad news to her, I had to let my hair down. Listen. They are going
in another direction. Uh... they feel like... maybe it's you and not them. [laughter] They were saying
that there was not a good chance
that you would win. - They haven't met
Jeannine Lee Lake. Because if they met
Jeannine Lee Lake, they would know we can win. - Okay, Jeannine might not win
this time, but if anyone could flip this
MAGA hat red, mayonnaise white,
Bud Light blue district, it's someone like her. So the very least I could do
is get her that phone call. - Hey Jeannine,
I want to give you two words that we don't often say
and that is thank you. Thank you for running. I know it can be challenging,
but you're not alone. I'm going to support
your campaign in any way I can. - [mimics air horn blowing] You're welcome, America. - Jeff Sessions is
the 15th high-profile firing of the Trump presidency. Like, why do you think
that Trump is firing so many people
from his administration? - Because he can
get away with it. Every time Trump fires one
of these bitch asses, they smile and nod
and then they crawl away. Scaramucci was up there crying. Sean Spicer went back
to wherever his chin was... [laughter] And did you see Jeff Sessions? He was shaking hands
with the man who took his job. If I had to shake hands with
the person who took my job, you would have to find
another person to take my job... [laughter] And that person's gonna need
to find a new hand. [laughter] In fact, the only person who
left with dignity is Omarosa. - Whoa!
What are you talking about? Apparently, Omarosa got dragged out of the White House
kicking and screaming. - Exactly...
[laughter] And it worked. Trump hasn't fired
a black woman since. [laughter]
Mm-hmm. - I... I don't think--
- Thank you. - I don't think Trump has hired
a black woman since. - That's not my point, okay? My point is, you teach people
how to treat you. I remember
the last time I got fired, I was laying hands like
it was Sunday morning, okay? I told them,
"If I'm not making money, y'all not making money." That's why there's
no more Circuit City. [laughter] - Wow, Dulcé,
I'm not gonna lie. I wish I had known all of this
before I hired you. - Oh, no, that's not gonna
happen unless you fire me and since you're
not gonna do that, there's nothing to worry about. [laughter] Is there? - No, no, of course not.
Let's move on. So if I hear you right, what you're saying is
the White House officials should make a scene
whenever they get fired to make Trump think twice
before firing anyone? - Yeah! You're already being escorted
out by the Secret Service, you might as well earn it,
okay? Tear down the curtains,
carve a dick into Trump's desk. [laughter] Don't just make the news,
make history. [cheers and applause] [percussive music] - Let's talk about something fun
for a change. Today is
National Creamsicle Day. Hurray! [cheers and applause]
Yeah! And, uh, don't you guys
wanna celebrate with a Creamsicle right now? Yeah, you do? Well, if you all look
under your seats, you'll see that
they all melted, I'm sorry.
I put them out too early. I didn't know they were frozen. Yeah, you guys should have
been here yesterday for national Left-Handers Day. That surprise did not melt.
[laughter] Here to help me celebrate
National Creamsicle Day, is our very own Dulcé Sloan,
everybody. [cheers and applause] - Hello. - Dulcé...
- What's up? - You know, one thing
I love about America is that every day is a fun
national-something day. Like, what's your favorite
national day? - I think mine is national, "I don't give a shit
about national days." [laughter] - What day is that Dulcé? - It's every day. Don't you know they make these
days up just to sell you shit? - Well, just--but just
last week Dulcé, there was, uh, Black Women's Equal Pay Day? - Oh, so you saying that black women getting equal pay is
the same as Creamsicle day? [laughter]
- No, no, no, no, no, no. [stammers]
I wasn't saying that. What I--you know what?
Let's move on. All right, let's move on.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's talk about
black women's equal pay. You guys want to talk about
black women's equal pay? [cheers and applause]
- Okay. Okay, but first--but first, let's talk about Creamsicles...
- Wha-- - Because I heard
that sometimes when you mention products on TV
they send you free samples. - Oh, that would be great. If someone out there
owns equal pay, send me some. [laughter] Trevor, on average,
it takes black women 20 months to make what a white man earns
in 12. With that ratio,
if you put Olivia Pope on "24," it would have
to be called "39." [laughter] Black women deserve equal pay because being a black woman is
also expensive. I gotta pay for products
for my natural hair, I gotta pay for products
for my fake hair. I mean, I wish I could use
one of those three-in-one shampoo,
conditioners, and body washes, but I can't wash my hair with the same thing
I wash my ass with, [laughter] I mean, isn't something-- isn't that something
we should all believe? - And I--look, I--
- Just two shampoo? Just two things.
Just get two things. - I think--
I think it's also important for us to remember, Dulcé, that paying black women equally
is right because it also allows them
to buy more Creamsicles. - If you don't shut up
about these damn Creamsicles! Shut up,
about these Creamsicles, man. Look, America, black women need
to be paid more than anybody. - Wait, wait, wait--I th--
- [grunting] - No...
[cheers and applause] Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I thought that you were-- - Why you not clapping, huh? - I thought this is was
about equality. - No, I changed my mind. [light laughter] Now, I want more. [laughter] Because we do so much
for America. We keep child molesters
out of office, we literally
gave y'all royalty... [laughter] And what would you do
without black woman memes? All you'd have
is that blinking white dude. [laughter] All I'm saying is, pay us what we're owed. Now, if you'll excuse me... it's National Creamsicle Day. [laughter and applause] - Dulcé Sloan, everybody. We'll be right back. - Have you been accused
of racism just because you called 911 on a black person
for no reason? - The son grabbed my ass. - Have you suffered
from shame, national humiliation, and severe burns
on Black Twitter? Well, it may not be your fault. It may be your sunglasses. [dings] - Hi, I'm Dulcé Sloan, from the law firm
Sloan, Me, and My Momma. Due to a manufacturing defect,
it's been discovered that many sunglasses have
a racist filter. Instead of normal sunglasses that block out light
from the ultraviolet spectrum, these defective filters
turns a normal black man into this scary looking
mother[bleep] right here. - I'll do this shit.
I ain't going back to jail. - I voted for Obama. - So if you or a loved one has called 911
on a black person, it must be the sunglasses fault. I mean otherwise,
that means you're just racist. And we both know that
that isn't true. ♪ ♪ Police in America
have been getting a pretty bad rap recently. Mostly because they keep
shooting unarmed black people, and it doesn't help
that we keep recording it. If we didn't keep catching them
on our phones, the problem would just go away
like my gas bill. If I don't open my mail,
I don't owe you a cent. [laughter] But since it doesn't
look like people are gonna stop filming the cops, some police departments are
coming up with other solutions. And like most of the dudes
in my DMs, these solutions are weird. - The NYPD is turning
to virtual reality to help improve
community relations. - And they're working
with teenagers. - This new program
called Options simulates recurring problems the NYPD hopes
it helps address. Those are supposed
to be students on the basketball court
being asked to be in a gang. - If you're not down with me,
I'm gonna to look dumb. - All the characters
students encounter in the clips we were shown
are people of color. Police say that's in an effort
to be more relatable to the communities
they're trying to target. - Okay, again, not a bad idea, which is why the cops should play the games
themselves, okay? I don't need VR to teach me
how to deal with black people. I have a family...
[laughter] And a bunch of mirrors
in my house. I deal with me every day
and I'm a [bleep] delight. - [laughs] [cheers and applause] - [mouthing] And if you're trying
to teach young people you're gonna need
a better game. This game is
like "Grand Theft Auto" with none of the fun. What do you do on a level two? Pay taxes and wear a condom?
Pfft. [laughter] But I get why cops are trying
to role play, everyone loves role playing. You'd be a cop, a prison guard. Ooh, you could even be
a prisoner. Ooh, I'm talking
a prisoner who's been bad... [laughter] Real bad. So now you have to handcuff her,
and take her to a holding cell. Like, "Oh, oh, sir,
you're being so rough." [giggles]
- Dulcé, Dulcé, Dulcé. I think you're getting
a little off topic. - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm back. Wait.
[giggles] [laughter] Okay, I'm back.
I had to finish. [laughter and cheers] [applause] Gotta get mine. [cheers and applause] Now in New York,
they're changing the way they interact
with black people, but over in West Georgia,
they're going a different way. Still dumb, but different. - This afternoon police have
a new crime fighting tool they say could help
in dangerous situations. Watch police show us
exactly how this works. - You point the device in the direction of the person
that you want to entangle or restrict their movement. - The BolaWrap's
extra strong line shoots out and catches
around a suspect's ankle. Here's how that looks. We slowed it down so you can see the line wrap
around the mannequins legs. - Okay, that's got to be
the worst idea yet, all right? If you are gonna tie ankles
together while I'm running, I'd rather be shot. - Whoa, whoa, wait.
What? - You heard me.
At least when you get shot you go out with some dignity,
all right? You won't hogtie me
like some damn rodeo cattle. [light laughter] I went to college. I'm not getting taken down
by this cartoon ass gun. What is this?
For police or the circus? Okay, what's next? Cops are gonna
stop a car chase by tossing banana peels
out the window? [laughter] - You know Dulcé, like,
I feel like police are trying to come up
with solutions, and you're just hating on them. What do you think
would work better? - Oh, here's an idea, why don't the police
just talk to black people, hmm? [cheers and applause] I mean get to know us as humans, and hire cops who actually live in the neighborhood
they're policing, that way cops don't feel like
they're commuting to a Spike Lee movie every day. [laughter] And residents will know
the cops actually care. Plus,
if a cop was your neighbor, that ain't snitching,
that's gossip. [laughter] - You know, Dulcé,
actually, these-- these are some great ideas, so I think we should-- we should scrap
all the other ideas, yeah. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no. We can--we can, uh, keep
the little lasso thing. - I thought you said
you hated that one the most. - For the police. I'm gonna use it
to catch Idris Elba. [cheers and applause] Um, by the way, when is he coming back
to the show? - I'm definitely
not telling you now. [laughter] - Oh, don't worry. I'll find out. I went to college. - Dulcé Sloan, everybody. We'll be right back. - I'm Desi Lydic.
- And I'm Dulcé Sloan. - And we're attorneys at law.
- Just don't Google that. - Right now, Republicans
are trying to legislate what a woman can and cannot do
with her body. So if you're a woman, you might
feel like your only options are to either leave the country
or marry your vibrator. - Mine's named Jorge. - But our law firm,
has a better solution. - Incorporate that pussy. - That's right,
because corporations are the one thing Republicans
don't wanna regulate. So we'll turn your business, into a business. And in their eyes,
you'll go from baby maker, to money maker. - We're regulating your vagina.
- But it's a business now? - Well in that case,
here's a tax cut. [dings] - So call us today and make sure your
private sector stays private. - We're talking about your vag. - And all that other stuff
down there. - Everything but the butt.
- [quietly] But the butt. - No butt stuff.
- No.
