Your Job Is To Like Yourself | May Vlog

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(box rustles) - Our mugs came! Wow oh my God they're huge! Okay I did not expect them to be this large. They're almost as big as my hand. I've been watching a lot of like Korean cafe vlogs and they always have like a nice insulated cup like this so I wanted to get some of my own. This is the website that I purchased this at. They've got a lot of beautiful serve ware related things. But let's put this in the kitchen now. Wow! Today is my dad's 60th birthday and in Korean culture it's actually a really big deal when your parents turn 60. You throw them a big party, it's a big celebration, you're supposed to get like a really good gift, it's all compounded to the age of 60. I don't know, we were supposed to be in Europe now, but you know circumstances have not allowed that, but the celebration continues. We're still gonna try and make the most of it, even through lockdown. So right now I'm gonna be making him a sweet potato fudge cake. I've had this before because my friend Emily made it for me and it was just scrumptious and it's healthy. So let's get started. (peaceful music) Set timer for 10 minutes. - [Computerized Voice] Okay. - So first we'll need a 1/4 of a cup of maple syrup. This is definitely the agent that is sweetening things up. And now we'll need 1/2 a cup of almond butter. Oh, I think I'll have to use like my whole thing of almond butter. No! This is good enough. Let's see if we can slide with this amount. All right. And now we're gonna add a teaspoon of vanilla extract. The sweet potatoes are done. I need like a cup of sweet potatoes. I just feel like putting that much in, maybe I'll put a little that. I'm gonna continue to mix it. (mellow jazzy music) And I dump that in. (mellow jazzy music) The mixture is finished. That looks beautiful. I have my super janky parchment paper that I wrapped into this bread pan. This is my level of patience right now, I just, I just don't care to learn this right now. I just want this in the oven already. The mixture is really, really thick. This is my first time making it so we'll see how it turns out. So this is what it looks like, we're gonna throw it in the oven for for 28 to 32 minutes. Well, wow. This is what it looks like. I'm just gonna have like this edge right here. Yeah, I mean I should check to see if it's good right? Ah, it's good. Oh my God. You would never believe that there's no like dairy in here. Okay I'm just gonna let this cool. But it's really good! (mellow jazzy music) So I picked up the practice of morning pages again, I've been doing this for a good week and a half now. When I cleaned out my office I found all these notebooks and one of them happened to be my morning pages journal of 2018. And by the way morning pages is an activity that you do in the morning, you get a notebook and you fill out three pages. And you can write about anything. This is just a mental dump of everything that you're thinking and it's just like a stream of consciousness. And you just let it flow baby. I was reading my entries from 2018 and I was like wow. I was, I was very harsh on myself. I think whenever I look back at any of my journals the tone is a bit rough. It really transported me to how I felt at the time. Towards the beginning of 2019 that's when I was writing a little bit softer to myself. There were more affirmations which I thought was a big move and I remember when I was writing those affirmations in 2019 I was like oh this feels so unnatural but let me just hype myself up and when I reread them now, I was like damn, like this is really hitting home. It's nice to be able to affirm yourself and not expect other people to affirm you. Like when you are telling yourself that you're doing a good job, when you like yourself I think that is just the biggest hack to life. Your only job is to like yourself and once you've completed that job, I feel like it makes life so much easier and whenever someone else tells you that you're doing a great job or affirms you it's just like a little bonus. You're like oh thanks. Like it made me really happy to see that I was speaking to myself in a gentler form and it reminded me that progress isn't just completely linear, it's definitely got its ups and downs and it just made me really happy and so I wanted to add that, I wanted to add morning pages into my routine again. Apparently you're supposed to do it like right when you wake up but I like to do it after I have worked out and showered and then I feel the most clear. I feel like it's important for me because when I write things down I remember things more and memory the foundation of identity. If you don't remember things, what are your values, what do you believe in, what's important to you? There was one instance that happened 2018 that I won't get into but it's like it's just like this rumination, this thought that always comes in the back of my head. It's so annoying or I'm trying to be more gentle on myself but it's not the voice I want to hear all the time. Last month, towards the end I was just having that same thought and I was like oh my gosh I thought we like came to terms to this. But when I was rereading my morning pages that same thought that is coming in my head I wrote down and I wrote down how I came to terms with it and I was like oh my God like how did I forget? And so just rereading what I did and how I kind of processed that it made it like satiated. It was just like oh yeah I remember. Either way I feel like writing my thoughts down is just a great way to organize and catalog my thoughts and also look back at them in the future. And it grounds me it reminds me of of the things that I should recall, it also transports me back, like one of the things that I want to write down more are just like good memories, things that I'm grateful for and not to ruminate so much on the negative because in 2018 it was just like pages and pages of negativity when and it makes me feel like 2018 wasn't that great of a year, but it actually was. Like that was the year that I got married. You end up remembering what you wrote down. Also I wanted to shout out to these notebooks, these are by Penco I got it from High Tide store in downtown LA, it's like my favorite like stationery store. I know like every small business is struggling right now and so I wanted to be able to support them so I bought like three of these notebooks because they're just really, really nice to write on. The paper is so buttery and I like the fact that it's a spiral ring so you can write in the front and the back with ease. - [Woman] And Which comes for his character in the story. There's no such thing as first. Sometimes people say, express yourself. Expressing yourself can be shouting in a field. So rather than expressing yourself, why don't you think in terms of evoking, conjuring up. I've been really enjoying doing masterclasses in the evenings because it just spices up the night for a minute. Evenings are so unbearable, I was like just put me to sleep, I can't deal with this but I'm finding ways to make it more exciting. I have like a little nightly routine that I've been enjoying. But I like to do two or three lessons of masterclass every once in a while and right now I am doing Margaret Atwood's creative writing. And oh it is so good. She is one of my favorite authors and she's just giving me a new like even like a deeper appreciation for writing. I feel like these days I've just become even more of an avid reader. I have so much time to read now, which is amazing, but I kind of want to go deeper within the realm and writing is a key component in reading. When I was little I loved to read, I would just devour books and I think it also stems from the fact that we would spend so much time at the library when we were younger. It was essentially a form of free child daycare. Like my mom would tell me my brother to like walk home from school and like go to the library and stay there until she could pick us up. So I have like a deep attachment to the library, like a hatred, but also a love but yeah I would just read "Junie B. Jones". I used to read this thing called, this series called the Bailey Schoolkids and I remember the cover of "Ghouls Don't Scoop Ice Cream" because I literally wanted it to be this ghoul. Like this image is giving me so many flashbacks. I think after I saw this cover I immediately like got a big hoodie and wore it to school. And I think I even like tried a little bit of eyeliner, but yeah that was my like primary school days. And then in high school I think I just started to really hate reading and writing because suddenly there were all these expectations about your essay being good and and having like a strong voice and with writing it is a form of recording your voice and if you don't have a voice and you don't have statements to back up your opinion then it doesn't make sense, and I think I always really struggled with it for a minute everything I turned in the main problem was you don't have a thesis and I'm like what like my paper has no point, like and it was just so difficult to find a point. I couldn't make an opinion about things. It was very strange but if you have a weak voice then you're gonna be a weak writer. But now that I'm older and I'm more confident and I'm not, I don't know I feel like there's almost like a fog that's been lifted out of my head. Because when I was younger I felt like just this constant pressure to be something great and excel that it completely debilitated me. It wasn't until I was like in Community College that like I suddenly started to retain all this information because I just like stopped caring. So it's funny that it's all come full circle and now I'm enjoying to read again. I like can't get enough of books, it's a way to teleport to different worlds, it's a way to dive into different points of perspective. But I do have an interest in sharpening my writing skills. I've always loved to write when there's no pressure, but it would be nice to have more structure in my writing, because journals is just you know just random thoughts and morning pages is just a stream of consciousness so it would be cool to have like a purpose for my writing. I'm already excited to do one exercise that she told us to do which is to write about an event and write it in three perspectives. So it could be your perspective, it could be the person that you went with and then also like the doorman and it's very interesting because one event can be a different experience for everyone that went. And I think that's so cool but it's also kind of sad too. You can see one thing but there are different realities of it depending on who you are. This lesson is one of my favorites, I think out of all the masterclasses I've done RuPaul is definitely my favorite and then Margaret Atwood is honestly a close second. I'm about to experiment with my hair these days, I've been really enjoying that like effortless mermaid wave look and I do have this waver by Bedhead, and I like it, but I just wanted to see what else was out there, like is there a way to make the waves look even better? So I was on Instagram and I saw Cory Morello use a waver that was similar to this, but the one that she used was like unavailable, so then I got something that was more accessible and available so you really win here. This is by the brand Allure. This gadget is a little intimidating if I'm gonna be honest. It's just so large, like look how big that is. Alright let's clamp this. Okay that's looking a little sad. I'm not like stoked to with the curl but let's see what it looks like as I continued to do entire hair. (mellow jazzy music) Okay final verdict here. I'm done and it's very underwhelming. I would recommend you just save your money and not get this waver. All that work just for my hair to look like this. I don't know dude. We'll see if my opinion changes, but I don't think it will. I watched one of Alicia's vlogs and she had this egg cooker and I was like holy crap I need this in my life. I love eggs, I love hard-boiled eggs, but it's always so hard to get 'em the perfect consistency. And with this device you'll get that egg every time. It's insane so I'll show you how I use it. So first you're gonna want to fill this container up with water depending on how soft or firm you want your eggs. And I like to put the water in between here. Now that I filled up the water I'm gonna pour it onto this pan. I feel like a scientist every time I use this machine. So I'm gonna put this little casing back. And now I'm gonna grab my eggs. Okay, I'm gonna make three. So now that we have our eggs I'm gonna pierce it. So underneath this cup there is a nail. See? So with this nail you're gonna pierce the bottom of the egg or I guess the part of the egg that's a little bit more round, because as you can see the egg kind of tapers off down here. I used to be quite afraid of piercing the egg because I thought that it would just crack in my hands. Out of the many times I've used this, that's never been the case. So now we've got all the eggs aligned. We're going to put the casing over it. And we're gonna press this button and it'll start filling up with steam and we'll have delicious eggs! All right so it is done. You're gonna hear that beep. (egg cooker beeps) You just press it. And you let the eggs cool down because they're steaming hot. Oh my goodness look at that. This is my breakfast, the Brekkie Bowl. You all have seen me eat this so many times. Freakin' slaps though man every morning. And it makes me so happy when I see pictures of your guys's Brekkie Bowl. It's getting the recognition it deserves. Mm. So good. (upbeat music) Attempting to do a TikTok. Wish me luck. (funky music) ♪ Shining, shining like a diamond ♪ ♪ I see, I see people watching ♪ ♪ Perfect, hourglass timing ♪ ♪ Good things come to those who wait ♪ All right. The TikTok is now live. It is for the world to see. If they decide to see it and that didn't take that much time. I slotted one and a half hours to shoot this whole thing. That's four outfits, and you know filming it all. Just I hate editing on my phone it's just so claustrophobic, but I realize it's just taking me a lot longer because TikTok is just like a new interface and I've noticed that it's a lot less polished than other social media platforms, which I appreciate, but for this particular TikTok I wanted to do something with a little bit more effort that involved like fashion you know? Now that we're in quarantine it's, I've been wearing like relatively the same couple things, as you've seen so it was nice to dress up for this. Yeah I feel like I finally got my swing on this platform though. I think when I first started I was like oh my God, like how do I learn this? I feel like that happens with anything that I start new, it's just, it's just a lot for your brain to compress. You're like what the fuck is this new platform, what is the culture on here, like what's happening, and with TikTok off I feel like at a glance, when you first look at it, it's just super over stimulating, it feels like your brain's on crack, but as you continue to go on it more and more your brain acclimates to it and I do find it more addicting than I thought because of its short format content. Like, just when you're like I guess I'm done, you'll just watch one more video, and then it automatically plays another one and so it just keeps you in this loop. So in that sense I don't know, I like to moderate my time on this platform, like I'll go on it for maybe like 20 minutes and then I'll try and get off of it, because I've noticed that if I don't keep track and I just like get into and sucked into the TikTok loop I'm like wait, how is it like six o'clock, and to be honest that's like not the way I want to spend my time. But I do enjoy watching it to get some fashion inspiration because I feel like with fashion you just need to glimpse at an outfit and you're like I like that or I don't like that and I feel like TikTok is a way to really get my fashion fix, but in a fun enjoyable way because there's music, there's transitions, it's definitely an art form. And also it was a great excuse to bust out my giant Gudetama plushie. Sanrio actually gifted this to me last year and I thought it was so nice of them because I always wear my good Gudetama clips so, so they reached out to me, which honestly is surreal because growing up I would always go to Sanrio and it would be my dream to get one of the huge plushies but obviously like we couldn't afford them. And now I have one. I feel like I should display it because it does embody me at some capacity. Gudetama is a good reminder for me to sometimes relax and just be a blob. Also I would love to know who you guys follow on TikTok. Please comment down below. Like not the dancing TikToks, but just for other content like it would be, that sounds so like rude of me to say, not the dancing one but you know like fashion content, I follow Brittany Xavier, The Nava Rose, I like her. She's like the TikTok fashion queen dude. She knows how to sew, she's freaking great with the transitions so good, so I follow her but yeah I just like some more recommendations for fashion inspiration on TikTok and also like humor is great. Cooking.
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Channel: Jenn Im
Views: 440,240
Rating: 4.9497747 out of 5
Keywords: jenn im vlog, morning pages journal, morning pages benefits, journaling, jenn im vlogs
Id: niXn0Bm5cyg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 20min 2sec (1202 seconds)
Published: Sun May 24 2020
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