You will never be angry again after hearing this |stoicism

the teachings of the stoic show that there are no bad or good events there is only our perception of what is happening as the stoics say it happened to me and it happened to me and it's terrible and not the same thing if you stop only at the first part you will be more cheerful and will be able to take something good out of everything that happens to you the teachings of the stoic School were adapted by the famous psychologist Albert Ellis an influen the development of rational emotive behavior therapy the main method for helping to overcome a range of serious problems from depression to uncontrollable rage the next time you experience negative Emotions Don't focus on the triggering event ask yourself how rational your thoughts are if my partner left me I will never recover from it if I lose my job my life is over if I don't finish watching this video the author will hate me these judgments are irrational and are what trigger anxiety anger or depression change your thoughts and you will be able to control your emotions even if he she leaves me I will meet someone else this has happened before and I got over it but what to do if you are worried about the future control what you can and ignore the rest reinold nebor came to this idea in the 30s of the last Century the stoics preached this simple idea 2,000 years ago the philosophers of antiquity paid a lot of attention to control but still were're not obsessed with it the key idea of stoicism is can I somehow influence this if yes do it if you can't that means you can't worries lead to nothing but stress according to the teachings of stoicism often what worries us is something over which we have no control for example I have an important task planned for tomorrow and I'm worried about the rain it doesn't matter how nervous I am the rain won't stop because of this the stoic say not only will you be happier if you learn to differentiate between situations in which you can and cannot influence what happens but you will also be more productive and effective if you focus your energy entirely on what you have control over the next time you're worried about something happening stop for a second and ask yourself can I influence what's happening if yes then stop worrying and get to work if you are unable to control the situation worrying will not improve the situation sadness anger worrying this is an irrational reaction and not the best way to react to what is happening how then should we deal with events that do not go according to plan accept everything but don't be passive this point Point has the most problems nobody likes the word except for many it means resignation and surrender but that's not true let's look at this differently this means only one thing deny no one ever recommends denying what is happening Albert Ellis advised people to eliminate the word should from their speech must is a negation no matter how much you want your expectations will not Prevail over reality denial is irrational and irrational beliefs are the root of negative emotions therefore the first step is to accept the realities of the present but this does not mean that you should be passive you accept the fact that it is reigning Deni and should won't change anything but that doesn't mean you take an umbrella with you in our understanding acceptance is synonymous with humility but for the stoics it means accepting the facts as they are and then deciding what to do with them the problem is that because of our expectations we perceive acceptance as submission to circumstances when in reality we have no idea what might happen as the stoics say let's not waste energy looking for what is beyond our control but rather accept these facts move on and see what we can do about it the next time things don't go as planned don't deny it accept it ask if you can make a difference if yes do something if not ask yourself whether your beliefs are rational so we have looked at the teachings of stoicism on how to cope with negative emotions this is our defense now let's talk about offense how to improve the situation decide whose child you will be I know I know it sounds pointless give me minute I'll explain everything now everything that we talked about earlier happens in the head and as we have already found out almost all of our problems come from our heads but if we want to improve the situation we need to learn from other people you are not alone in this world there is so much you can learn from other people Role Models mentors senica one of the pillars of stoicism expressed this idea in a beautiful statement that I love we like to repeat that we cannot choose our parents that they are determined by chance nevertheless we truly have the power to choose whose some we want to be you need to talk to someone you admire who is doing something at the level you would like to achieve having such a mentor will help you understand what may need to change in order to achieve the desired level of Mastery ask this person how he achieved his goal ask him to help you identify what is currently stopping you from achieving what you want and what are the next steps towards your goal the next time you face an obstacle think about someone you admire research shows that the question what would he do if he were me can have a strong positive impact on your behavior role models and mentors are great for helping you achieve the best version of yourself however how can you be sure that you're actually improving how do you know if you are progressing in on your chosen path morning and evening rituals have a significant impact a huge amount of research confirms that rituals can significantly improve our lives what type of rituals did the stoics recommend morning and evening rituals one is to help you prepare for the present day and the other is to evaluate how the day went and what can be improved in the future stoicism teaches us to start the day with a ritual that resembles what we are about to face Marcus aelia said the people you will meet today will be dot dot dot double quotes and then he would list all the negative traits that you might encounter during the day this is not a pessimistic attitude he said now that you already know all this you no longer take everything personally and try to understand why a person behaves the way they do you forgive and love them despite it the stoics believed in starting the day with meditation preparing oneself for what is to come and ending the day by reflecting on what has happened and what can be improved the stoics did not believe imp Perfection they perceived that we are all in a constant process of working on ourselves you can always improve as senica said as long as you are alive continue to learn to live let's summarize do Karma Five Points on how the wisdom of ancient philosophers can help you be happier it is not events that upset us but beliefs only the end of the world really means the end of the world control what you can and ignore the rest worrying has never made things better except everything but do not be passive no one advises denial accept and then take action decide whose child you will be what would Batman do in this situation morning and evening rituals have a significant impact plan the day and then take stock stoic philosophers paid a lot of attention to gratitude in his letter Marcus Aurelius wrote do not focus on things that do not belong to you as if they were yours but count the blessings that are truly yours and think how much you would want them as they were not yours thousands of years later scientists would support him in this belief research shows that imagining life without cherished moments makes people appreciate what happened to them more it makes us more grateful and happy in our daily lives we forget that the things we think are blocking us are insignificant and that the obstacles that are blocking us are actually giving us answers about where to go next it's a Timeless formula that you can return to again and again all I can say is that I try to always think about this attitude I try to imagine that these people face much greater problems than I do and see this not only as a bad thing but also as an opportunity we all face difficult situations on a regular basis but behind the circumstances and events that cause an immediate negative reaction there is something good some clear benefit that we can mentally grasp and then act on we blame external forces or other people and write ourselves off as failures and our goals as unattainable that there is only one thing thing we truly control our attitude and approach that's why the stoics say what blocks the path is the path what appears to be an obstacle to action may actually facilitate it and that everything is a chance to demonstrate some kind of virtue or something different than originally intended and you never know what good will come of it the obstacle is the path in life our first task is to divide and distinguish things into the categories external phenomena I cannot control but the choices I make regarding them I do control where will I find the good and the bad in me in my choice amazingly we still have access to these ideas even though many of the greatest stoics never wrote anything down for publication Kato definitely does not Marcus aelius never intended the meditations to be anything other than personal senica letters were well letters but epic Teeter thoughts came to us through a student taking notes and it is in their example in their actions that we find real philosophy because apart from their general study of philosophy all the stoics were men of action and I don't think that's a coincidence Marcus aelius was the emperor of the most powerful Empire in world history k a moral example for many philosophers defended the Roman Republic with stoic courage until his daring death even the lecturer epic tetus did not have a comfortable position he was a former slave and this should not be surprising everything is an opportunity for excellence a now famous passage from Marcus aurelus states that an obstacle to an action hastens the action that what stands in the way becomes the way but do you know what exactly he was talking about about he was talking about difficult people he said that difficult people are an opportunity to practice excellence and virtue whether it be forgiveness patience or cheerfulness and this happens with everything in life that is not under our control so when I find myself in situations big or small positive or negative I try to view each one as an opportunity for me to be the best I can be in that moment no matter who we are or where we are we can always do this Marcus said what you think determines the quality of your mind your soul takes on the color of your thoughts he also said our life is what our thoughts make if you see the world as a negative terrible place you are right if you look for crap you will see crap if you think you've being screwed you're right but if you look for beauty in the ordinary you will see it if you look for evidence of kindness in people you will find it if you choose to see Free Will and the power you have over your life which as we said has a lot to do with how we think well you'll find that you have quite a lot of it do only what is necessary it was Marcus's simple recipe for productivity and happiness if you're looking for peace of mind he said do less and then he clarifies nothing less do do only what is necessary which brings double satisfaction doing less doing better follow this advice today and every day place it where you will see it often do only the essentials [Music] [Music]

Channel: STOICISM MSD

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Keywords: stoic, epictetus, marcus aurelius meditations, marcus aurelius, #stoicism, the daily stoic

Id: tlW8N6IFpHA

Length: 13min 56sec (836 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 23 2024