How to Become a CHARISMATIC LEADER! | Simon Sinek MOTIVATION

hello believe nation I made the mentor me series to try to hang around people who've done a lot more than us and by spending a little bit more time with them hopefully some of their their beliefs our mindset their attitude their habits seep into us to help us become the best version of ourselves so today we're going to learn from simon Sinek on motivation mentor me Simon [Music] you outside in the world is danger at all times for various reasons in caveman times that danger may have been you know a saber-toothed tiger it may have been the weather it may have been a lack of resources it may have been who knows any number of things things that with no conscience are trying to kill you they want to end your life and so how do we survive we work together and together we come together in our groups in our companies and our tribes to feel like we belong to be around people who believe we believe so that we may feel safe when we're surrounded by people who have our best interests in mind and we feel safe we will organize ourselves and cooperate to face the dangers externally don't forget the outside dangers are a constant in a modern world the outside dangers may be your competition that's trying to put you out of business or at least steal your business it might be the herbs and flows of the economy it might be terrorism all of these unknowns all trying to put you out of business take away your job take away your livelihood end it for you nothing personal it's a constant inside our organizations the dangers we face are not a constant they are a variable and they are the decisions of leadership as to how safe they make us feel when we go to work this is the job of leaders ASA said it better than I can there's an Aesop fable about four oxen that stand tailed to tail whenever the lion tries to eat them no matter what angle from which he attacks he will always be met with horns however due to infighting and disagreements they separate and they go and graze in different parts of the field and one by one the lion picks them off and kills them all when we stand together we can more easily face the dangers outside when we break up inside our companies if our leaders don't allow us a space to feel safe inside our own companies to feel like we belong then we have to we're forced to exert our own energy to protect ourselves from each other and by the way expose ourselves to greater danger from the outside if you have to worry about politics if you have to worry about someone your credit if you have to worry about your bus not having your back think about the energy you invest not in your business not in the products you're trying to develop not in your work not in how great you're producing not in your creativity but in just keeping yourself feeling safe this is destructive the responsibility of leadership is two things one to determine who gets in and who doesn't get in this is what it means to start with why what are our values what are our beliefs who can we allow in second thing is to decide how big this is how big do we make the circle of safety how big do we make the circle of belonging do we keep it around just our c-level executives and call it an inner circle and allow others to try and fend for themselves and maybe if we try and get into our inner circle or do we extend it to the outermost edges of the organization great leaders extend the circle of safety the circle of belonging out to the outermost edges so the most junior person feels like they belong feels safe I did a little experiment with them with a homeless person not like on them it's not like electrodes with them voluntarily help me because the whole idea of giving right give it you've all walk down the street and you've all seen someone begging and you either have or haven't thrown a few pennies in their cup when you do you feel good you bought that feeling that is a legitimate commercial transaction you know commercial transactions are defined as the exchange of consideration there was an exchange of consideration here you gave money you got the feeling of goodwill you paid for that feeling if you didn't give money you either feel nothing or you feel bad you can't feel good by not giving all right you paid for that feeling so now the question is how is that person encouraging us to give the joke is they act like every corporation in the world they talk about themselves Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee right like they sit there with their little outdoor advertising little sign right and it says I'm homeless I'm hungry I got 12 kids I'm a veteran god bless they got it all in they're trying to appeal to somebody the religious vote the veteran vote you know the child sympathizer surround yourself with lots of pets go for that one too right all in an attempt to get something from someone takers not givers right all about me well what what corporations do we've added more RAM we've added more rom we've added more speed this one's number one we're the biggest we're the best we've been around since 1969 we're better than them we're faster than them we're more efficient than that one me me me me me me me me me me and so even if we buy their product guess what yeah I'm gonna feel much so I did this little experiment I found a nice homeless lady on the streets of New York who's willing to help out and I learned that with her sign which was pretty typical I'm homeless I'm hungry remember but she makes between 20 and 30 dollars a day for you know for a day's worth of work 8 to 10 hours of sitting there selling goodwill 8 to 10 hours she'll make 20 to $30 $30 was considered a good day I changed her sign and the new sign made her $40 in two hours and then she left it's one of the reasons she's homeless is because she's decided that she only needs 20 to 30 dollars a day to live if she stayed she would have made $150 the point is she made 40 bucks in two hours where the signs say the sign said if you only give once a month please think of me next time it has nothing to do with the taker it has everything to do with the giver and what are the objections people give when they don't give I can't give to everyone how do I know that they really need it and so I address both those concerns I know you can't get to everyone so if you only give once a month my cause is legitimate I will still be here when you're ready to give 40 bucks two hours make it about them not about you the fact of the matter is 100 percent of customers are people and 100 percent of clients are people and 100 percent of employees are people I don't care how good your product is I don't care how good your marketing is I don't care how good your design is if you don't understand people you don't understand business we are social animals we are human beings and our survival depends on our ability to form trusting relationships do you ever watch Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel I'm slipping through channels one night and Deadliest Catch came on and on this episode just random they were in a huge storm now for those of you who don't know Deadliest Catch they take these crab fishing boats out in the Bering Sea which is like terrible and they put cameras on them and we watch right the reason that's I guess significant is because these crab fishermen have I think one of the top 5 deadliest jobs in the world you know I don't know what the exact number is but dozens of fishermen die every year doing doing this we apparently find that entertaining but it actually is so they have cameras only on five or six of the ships even though there are many many many ships that go out fishing every season and they don't really come into proximity with each other because you know the oceans huge and usually sabotage each other and give each other false information because they're all competitors they're all looking to get the crabs and you know make sure that they find them somebody else doesn't and yeah it's business right it's just business it's okay we all do the same thing in our own companies and in this one episode this big huge storm was so violent that they had to bring all the pots which are the big cages that they catch the crabs and they to bring all the pots back on the boat and wait out the storm and just by dumb luck one of the boats that had cameras on it was in proximity of a boat that didn't have cameras on it and so they filmed they had secured all their pots on the deck and so they started filming the other boat and they filmed a guy climbing on the outside of the cage securing the pots and all of a sudden a huge wave hits the side of the boat and the guys not there anymore and the people on the boat with the camera starts screaming Man Overboard Man Overboard Man Overboard and they turned their boat towards where they think he might be he's a stranger they don't know him they don't know the the crew members of the other boat and yet they react and they turned towards him and they find him in the drink and for those of you don't understand how dangerous this is if the water is so cold that if you're in the water for I think that it's a minute or a minute thirty hypothermia will set in and you die and they come upon him and he's screaming don't let me die don't let me die and they pull him on board not out of the woods yet they strip off his clothes because it's wet and cold and they wrapped blankets around him to prevent hyperthermia from setting in and he survives and it's overwhelming and the captain comes down and this is all on me you can go watch it on TV the camera comes the captain comes down and he hugs this stranger this young man his competitor he hugs this guy's if he's his own son I I lost it everybody is crying and you realize what happened here was a human interaction and the reason they risk their own lives to help this other person even though they spend every other day trying to get ahead and sabotage is because at the end of the day they're all crab fishermen and they know something about each other and they know something about the risk that they all take to do this and when push comes to shove they will put themselves out there to help each other for no other reason than they get it they're one of the same I will promise you that every single member of that crew that day went home with a feeling of fulfillment I promise you that every single person on that crew that day felt more good in their hearts and in their jobs than the richest days they've ever pulled in my question is is what are you doing to help the person next to you don't you want to wake up and go to work for the only reason that you can do something good for someone else when you want them to do that for you I was staying at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas which is a wonderful hotel and the service there is really great the reason it's such a great hotel is because of the people who work there and I had an experience with a young man by the name of Noah and Noah's a barista in the coffee shop that they have just there in the lobby and I was buying a cup of coffee and Noah was charming and funny and engaging and I think I gave a hundred percent tip I think my five dollar coffee I think I gave a five dollar tip I mean this guy was great I mean I love talking to him he was a joy and I asked him do you like your job he said to me I love my job without skipping a beat mom and I asked what is it that the four seasons is doing that you love your job so much he says with again without skipping a beat he says throughout the day managers will walk past and ask how I'm doing if there's anything that I need he said not just my manager any manager Wow he says I feel supported here he says quote I can be myself right then magic and then he says to me I also work at Caesar's Palace and they're the managers go around to make sure that we're doing everything right and catch us if we do something wrong he says when I go to work at Caesar's Palace I keep my head just under the radar because I don't want to get in trouble he said I just want to get through the day and make a paycheck right same person right the experience that I have it the four seasons will be diametrically opposite to the experience that I have at Caesar's Palace not because of Noah but because of Noah's leadership right and the joke is if I were to go talk to the managers over at Caesars Palace and say you know it's you they'll say but you don't understand we cannot get good work out of our peoples look look no matter how hard we try and how hard we push them they just don't so we either have to replace them a push them harder no we respond to the environments we're in get the environment right you get the right behavior get the environment wrong you get the wrong behavior if that is what is happening it is because of leadership not because of the people yeah there was a really famous cartoon back in the 80s the beatings will continue until the morale improves yeah yeah I always thought that was hilarious because it's so terrifyingly accurate and and astonishingly you look I'm embarrassed that I have a career you know I talk about things like trust and cooperation why is there demand for my work you know but the fact that there is I'll take it as an opportunity but what's really sort of abominable is that this is not a new idea like there are books galore and speeches galore and articles galore about what leadership is you know we all kind of say the same thing from a different angles you can pick your flavor whichever message resonates most with you and yet people don't do it what's the hang-up and so I get this question a lot which is what do you know what are the most important characteristics about being a leader vision charisma you know I know some spectacular leaders who don't have big Steve Jobs Ian's visions they're just not visionary you know and I know some spectacular leaders who really don't have a lot of charisma they kind of just shuffle around and you're like that's the guy yeah that's the guy right and they're spectacular and people will give blood sweat and tears for these people the one thing I am comfortable saying that all effective leaders must have is courage because it is hard it is hard to stand up against outside pressure it is hard to stand up to an external constituency who's pushing you to do something for their short-term gain to do the right thing for your people it is hard it is thankless it is lonely it's sometimes sometimes you get fired sometimes you get in trouble sometimes you'll lose your job and the next guy will get all the credit it's all true and the courage to do the right thing in the face of overwhelming pressure only the best leaders have that courage only the best leaders and here's the folly courage is not some deep internal fortitude you don't dig down deep and find the courage right it just doesn't exist courage is external our courage comes from the support we feel from others in other words when someone when you feel that someone has your back when you you know that the day that you admit you can't do it someone will be there and say I got you you can do this that's what gives you the courage to do the difficult thing it's not going off to an ashram by yourself somewhere for four weeks and coming back and finding the car it's not what happens it's the relationships that we foster it's the people around us who love us and care about us and believe in us and when we have those relationships we will find the courage to do the right thing and when you act with courage that in turn will inspire those in your organization to also act with courage in other words it's still an external thing that's what inspiration is right I'm inspired to follow your example but those relationships that we foster over the course of a lifetime will not only make us into the leaders we need to be in hope we can be but they'll often save your life they'll save you from depression they'll save you from giving up they'll save you from any matter of you know negative feelings about your own capabilities your own future when someone just says I love you and I will follow you no matter what I talked to so many smart fantastic ambitious idealistic hard-working kids and they're right out of college their their entry-level jobs and I'll ask them how is it going and they'll say I think I'm gonna quit and I'm like why they say to me I'm not making an impact I'm like you know you've been here eight months right they treat the sense of fulfillment or even love like it's a scavenger hunt like it's something you look for my millennial friends they've gone through so many jobs they're either getting fired I mean it was mutual or they're quitting because they're not making an impact or they're not finding the thing they're looking for they're not feeling fulfilled as if it's a scavenger hunt love a job you find joy from is not something you discover it's not like I found love here it is I found a job I love that's not how it works both of those things require hard work you are in love because you work very hard every single day of your life to stay in love you find a job that brings you ultimate joy because you work hard every single day to serve those around you and you maintain that joy it's not a discovery but the problem is this sense of impatience it's as if an entire generation is standing at the foot of a mountain they know exactly what they want they can see the summit what they can't see is the mountain this large a movable object that doesn't mean you have to do your time that's not what I'm talking about take a helicopter climb I don't care but there's still a mountain life career fulfillment relationships our journeys the problem is this entire generation has an institutional sense of impatience and do they have the patience to go on the journey to maintain love to feel fulfilled or do they just quit and on to the next dump and on to the next ghost and on to the next and by the way ghosting means the lack of skill to have a confrontation you date somebody for six months eight months and then just stop replying just delete them from everything now for the person who's doing the ghosting oh that's certainly easier than a confrontation but the person on the receiving end of the ghosting it's like there's a death there's suddenly shun there's panic they call out their warning they call out their word they think it's you they think it's them do you have any idea the destruction that we reap on people by ghosting them and then because there's the lack of social skills to call out and ask for help they internalize and it makes them feel awful to the point at the worst they will kill themselves slightly one level down they'll get depressed but the lowest level that we can hope for is they will go through life and I'm not talking about ghosting I'm talking an entire generation that if we don't fix this we'll go through life where everything's just fine my friendships are fine my work is fine you know same old same old nothing's ever amazing and the scavenger hunt continues we're taking a generation that is lower self-esteem we're taking a generation that has a lack of cocka cocka mechanisms to deal with stress we're dealing with a generation that wants all those things fixed immediately and we're placing them in work environments that values money more than people do you know that most of the business philosophies most of the business theories that we embrace and see a standard today are not standard there are theories left over from the 80s and 90s the concept of shareholder supremacy was a theory proposed in the late 1970s it was popularized in the 80s and 90s the concept of using mass layoffs to balance the books did not exist in the United States prior to the 1980s it did not exist it became popular in the 80s and 90s the 80s and 90s were boom years anyone could make money relative peace a kinder gentler cold war and so all of the business theories that were put forth were very very selfish and all about enriching ourselves and they worked for those times but these times are different these are not peaceful times these are not boom years this is there's globalization on the internet which has now made everything vastly more complicated and those theories do not work anymore worse they're having side effects it's really bad because what we do is we destroy corporate cultures the idea of using mass layoffs can you imagine sending someone home and saying I'm sorry I can no longer provide for our family because the company missed its arbitrary projections this year that's what we're doing that's like a coach prioritizing the needs of the fans over the needs of the players hoping to build a great team it doesn't work we dismantled things like the glass-steagall Act glass-steagall was passed after the Great Depression to prevent another Great Depression from happening it was dismantled in the 80s and the 90s in the name of profit okay do you know how many stock market crashes we had between the Great Depression and the dismantling of glass-steagall the answer is zero and since they dismantled glass-steagall we had 87 the dot-com crash 2008 we've had three stock market crashes because we've moved the safety mechanisms that prevents stock market crashes from happening all in the name of individual advancement and profit and these are the corporate cultures we've built corporate cultures that value numbers over people and they are not standard business practices they are new and they are broken and they are dangerous and we're asking a young wonderful ambitious amazing generation that needs us to work in these in whether we like it or not we have to take responsibility for that bad hand that you've been dealt it is up to the companies to create an environment in which you can build your self-confidence it is up to the companies to create an environment in which you can learn coping mechanisms and learn how to build strong close relationships with people with whom you work that you will eventually love and sacrifice to see that they gain it is in these environments that we will learn the patience and the hard work that it takes to find fulfilment in our lives to find a sense of purpose a sense of joy yes it's all fine and good that my generation and older generations say to you things like well you're the future leaders we're the leaders now we're the ones in control of the corporate environments now and we're making your lives worse I don't want you to jump from job to job to job to job you will never find what you're looking for it's not a scavenger hunt I don't want you to go from relationship to relationship to relationship what I want you to do is stand up and demand that the places in which you work lead you properly nobody wants to wake up in the morning and be managed we want to wake up in the morning and be led and we have a total leadership crisis in America politics is just the mirror reflection we get the politicians we deserve we're the divided ones we're the selfish ones we're the broken ones we're the ones who would sooner sacrifice somebody else so that we may gain it's us and until we're willing to do the hard work of repairing the world around us our country our politics our businesses will not fix so there's a wonderful story please listening has the problem when people say you need to be a better listener as we are human beings and we need to communicate then communication is two ways listening and speaking so the but everybody's like you got to be a better listener like but here's the best understanding I have it so Nelson Mandela is universally regarded as a great leader which is important because you know different people are viewed differently in different nations but Nelson Mandela univer we regarded as a great leader right he was actually the son of a tribal chief and he was asked in an interview once how did you learn to be a great leader and he tells the story of how he would go to tribal meetings with his father and he remembers two things they always sat in a circle and his father was always the last to speak hmm and in terms of leadership and listening I think the idea of be a better listener is actually half the advice I think the advice is practice being the last to speak you see this all the time in meetings where everybody will sit around a room the senior guy would be like right here's the problem here's what I think we should do but I'm really interested in what your thoughts are yes let's go around the room it's too late you've influenced you've created your frequent and people ended people Bend and mold as opposed to saying here's a problem I'm interested what you have to say without saying anything and not even at having this and here's this takes practice not even even giving a hint whether you agree or disagree if anything you ask questions to learn more you get the benefit of hearing everybody's opinion everybody gets to feel heard and then you get to render so I would dopamine is the feeling that you found something you're looking for or do you accomplish something you set out to accomplish so you know that feeling you get when you cross something off your to-do list that's dopamine feels awesome you know when you when you have a goal to hit and you achieve that goal you're like yes you feel like you've won something right that's dopamine the whole purpose of dopamine is to make sure that we get stuff done right the historical reason for dopamine we would never eat if we only waited to get until we got hungry because there's no guarantee that we would find food so dopamine exists to help us go looking for food we get dopamine when we eat which is one of the reasons we like eating and so when you see something that reminds you of something that feels good we want to do the behavior that helps us get that feeling right so let's say you're out there going for a walk and you see an apple tree in the distance you get a small hit of dopamine and then what it does is it focuses us on our goals and now we start walking towards the apple tree and as the apple tree starts to get a little bigger we feel like we're making progress you get another little shot of dopamine and another little shadow dopamine until you get to the Train you're like yes okay this is why we're told you must write down your goals your goals must be tangible there's a there's a biological reason for that we we're very visually oriented animals you have to be able to see the goal for it to biologically stay focused right if you don't write down your goals if you can't see your goals it's very hard to get motivated to get inspired for example think about corporate visions right a corporate vision is have to be something we can see right that's why it's called a vision you can see it right to be the biggest most respected to be the fastest-growing are not visions they're nothing right what does that even look like respected by whom your mother yourself your friends your shareholders who knows what's the metric dunno it's Amorphis doesn't motivate us just like I can't tell you you will get a bonus if you achieve more you're gonna ask me how much more I'm gonna say more doesn't work you need a tangible goal you need a tangible goal right here's a great vision Martin Luther King I have a dream that one day little black children the little white children will play on the playground together and hold hands together we can imagine that we can set our sights on that and every time we achieve a goal and achieve a metric and achieve a milestone that makes us feel like we're making progress to the vision we can see we keep going and going and going until we achieve something remarkable you have to be able to see it dopamine like I said dopamine is the feeling you get when you set out to find something you're looking for as well talked about the to-do list I came home from a trip just a couple days ago and I had a bunch of errands to run and I wrote down a little list of things I had to do and off I went right and as I was walking past I think was a drycleaners I remember I was walking past something I remembered oh I have to do that and I hadn't written it down on my I hadn't written down on my to-do list so I went in and I finished what I needed to do and then when I came out I then wrote it on my to-do list and then crossed it out because I wanted the dopamine feels good dopamine comes with a warning dopamine is highly highly highly addictive here are some other things that release dopamine alcohol nicotine gambling your cell phone oh you think I'm joking okay we've all been told that you know if you wake up in the morning and you crave a drink you might be an alcoholic well if you wake up in the morning the first thing you do is check your phone before you even get out of bed might be an addict if you walk from room to room in your own apartment holding your telephone you might be an addict when you're driving in your car and you get a text and your phone goes beep we we hate email true we love the beep the buzz the ding oh right you'll be there in 10 minutes and yet you have to look at it right now you might be an addict and even if you read it and it says are you free for dinner next Thursday and you have to reply immediately you can't wait the 10 minutes you might be an addict and for all you Gen Y is out there who like to think that you're better at multitasking beause you grew up with the technology then why do you keep crashing your cars when you're texting you're not you're not better at multitasking you're better getting distracted in fact if you look at the statistics ad D and ADHD have diagnosis of AD D and ADHD have risen 66% in the past 10 years okay ad D and ADHD is a frontal lobe disorder right are you telling me out of nowhere 66% of our youth has the frontal lobe problem where did that come from no it's a misdiagnosis right what what are the what are the symptoms of a dopamine addiction to technology distractibility inability to it to get things done easily easily distracted you know shortness of attention it's all the same things so we misdiagnosed things it's this it's the addictive quality of dopamine we can also get addicted to performance in our companies when all they do is give us numbers to hit numbers to hit numbers to hit and a bonus you get and a bonus you get and a bonus you get all they're doing is feeding us with dopamine and we can't help ourselves all we do is want more more MORE it's no surprise that the bank's destroyed the economy because one of the things we know about dopamine addict is they will do anything to get another hit sometimes at the sacrifice of their own resources and their relationships ask any alcoholic gambling addict or drug addict ask them how their relationships are doing and if they've squandered any of their resources it's an addiction dopamine is dangerous if it is unbalanced it is hugely helpful when in a comfortable and balanced system but when unbalanced it's dangerous and it's destructive the metrics are fine they're just not in the short-term and they're just not fixed entire they so for example do you love your wife yes right prove it like what's the metric give me the number that helps me know right because when you met her you didn't love her right now you love her right tell me the day the love happened it's an impossible question right but it's not that it doesn't exist it's that it's much easier to prove overtime right so all leadership is the same thing it's about transitions so if you were to if you were to go to the gym right sit like exercise right if you go to the gym and you work out and you come back and you look in the mirror you will see nothing and if you go to the gym the next day and you back and you look in the mirror you will see nothing right so clearly there's no results can't be measured it must not be effective so we quit right or if you fundamentally believe that this is the right course of action and you stick with it like in a relationship I bought her flowers and I wished her happy birthday and she doesn't love me clearly I'll give up you know that's not what happens if you if you believe there's something there you commit yourself to act an act of service you could meet yourself to the regime the exercise you can screw it up you can eat chocolate cake one day you can skip a skip a day or two you know you lose for that but if you stick with it consistently I'm not exactly sure what day but I know you'll start getting into shape I know it and the same with the relationship it's not about the events it's not about intensity it's about consistency right you go to the dentist twice a year your teeth will fall out you have to brush your teeth every day for two minutes what is brushing your day twice a day for two minutes do nothing unless you do it every day twice a day for two minutes right it's the consistency going to the gym for nine hours does not get you into shape working out every day for 20 minutes gets you into shape so the problem is we treat leadership with intensity we have a two-day off-site we would invite a bunch of speakers we give everybody certificate you're a leader right those things are like going to the dentist they're very important that good for reminding us or getting us back on track learning new lessons but it's the daily practice of all the monotonous little boring things like brushing your teeth that matter the most she didn't fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and bought her flowers and Valentine's Day she fell in love with you because when you woke up in the morning you said good morning to her before you checked your phone she fell in love with you because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink you got her one without even asking she fell in love with you because when you had an amazing day at work and she came home and she had a terrible day at work you didn't say yeah yeah yeah but let me tell you about my day you sat and listened to her awful day and you didn't say a thing about your amazing day this is why she fell in love with you I can't tell you exactly what day and it was no specular thing you did it was accumulation of all of those little things that she woke up one days and is as if she pressed a button she goes I love him right leadership is exactly the same there's no event there's no thing I can tell you you have to do that your people will trust you it just doesn't work that way it's then it's an accumulation of lots and lots of little things that anyone by themselves is innocuous and useless literally pointless by themselves people will look at little things that are good leadership practice and say that won't work and you're absolutely right but if you do it consistently and you do it in combination with lots of other little things mmm like saying good morning to someone that looking in the eye my friend George who's a three-star general in the Marine Corps he says his test for leadership and I love this he goes his test for the good leaders if you ask somebody how their day is going you actually care about the answer and the number of times were walking to a meeting we're rushing we go how are you not good I gotta get to you later I got him late for a meeting if you ask the question you were standing there and you're listening to the answer it's those little innocuous things that you do over and over and over and over that people will say I love my job not I like my job I like my job means yeah the challenge is great they pay me well I like the people I love my job means I don't want to work anywhere else I don't care how much somebody else will is willing to pay me I'm devoted to the people here and I care desperately about the people here as if they were my family in business we have colleagues and co-workers in the military they have brothers and sisters that's how they think of each other right if you really have a strong corporate culture the people will think of each other like brothers and sisters don't really look like a family right no brothers and sisters deep love fight but the love doesn't go away right bicker the love doesn't go away and I'll fight with my sister but if you threaten my sister you're gonna have to deal with me right right we'll fight internally we'll bicker with each other but nobody's going to hurt each other and if anything from the outside shows up you got you're looking at a unified front brothers and sisters now how do you create brothers and sisters out of strangers common beliefs common values you know parents in other words executives who care about their children's success who care to raise their children teach them skills discipline them when necessary help them build their self-confidence so that they couldn't go on and achieve something more than you could have ever imagined achieving for yourself that's leadership an absolute love and devotion for the people who've committed their lives to this enterprise a goal of putting something out there if you say what you believe and you do what you believe you will attract people who believe what you believe if you go to one of your friends and you say to one of your friends how would you like me to dress so that you'll like me better how would you want me to address you how do you want me to speak so that you'll like me more right your friends are gonna look at you be like what are you talking about come on come on come on what should I wear so that you'll find me more appealing and how would you like me to speak to you so that you'll like me more and your friends are gonna tell you just be yourself that's why I like you I don't just be yourself now think about what we do in industry what do we do we do market research and we go and we ask the customers what kind of things the way what style should we speak to you how should we decorate ourselves what kind of things are you drawn to so that we can do those things do you like us more it's just as ridiculous it's just as ridiculous organizations should say and do the things they actually believe and they will attract people who believe what they believe or they can choose to lie and at the slightest hint that they might be lying cynicism sets in and people start saying I'm not sure I can trust these guys because there's not a lot of consistency and all the things they say and do which means they can't have a very strong belief set or they're lying to me and we call them in authentic the entire process of asking other people who we should be is inauthentic that's hilarious to me all these positioning studies we do are inherent we're going to do a study to find out from people so we can be more authentic that's hilarious say and do what you actually believe in the symbols you put out there the things you say and the things you do those red hats are ways people can find you what you have the ability to do as designers is create those symbols and allow people to use those things to say something about who they are work for companies work for clients work for people who you believe what they believe show up and feel a part of something bigger than yourself and your part is to put what they believe into pictures and words and symbols and graphics so that other people can use those things to say something about who they are people put harley-davidson logos on their body to say something about who they are corporate logo ain't no Procter & Gamble's tattooed on anybody's on because Harley means something they stand for something people put that tattoo on there not to tell you that they own a motorcycle they put that tattoo there to tell you something about themselves you ever see anybody with a with a Mac laptop put a sticker over that beautiful shining Apple ain't never gonna happen then how will you know who I am do you ever see anybody with a PC break out the Windex to clean out their computer Mac people have you ever seen a dirty Mac doesn't exist does not exist why because it's Who I am these are symbols we use the companies that are crystal clear and what they believe and their discipline and how they do it they're consistent what they do and everything they say and everything they do serves as a symbol of the set of values and beliefs we use those symbols to say something about who we are we surround ourselves with the people and the products and the brands that say something about who we are and when we can find the people who believe what we believe we're weirdly drawn to them because our very survival depends on it we need it and so the more you can give of yourself the more you can give of what you believe the more you can discipline with discipline saying boo and do the things you actually believe strange things start to happen what you'll find is that that the better you are communicating your why people will want to work for you regardless of the opportunity that you afford them like they want to be a part of it yeah we do a little thing which we've been doing for years and years and years called give and take whenever there's any kind of relationship whether it's a outside partnership or even somebody who joins our team we do something called a give-and-take where we want somebody to be selfish and selfless within the relationship so not give and get but give and take so we'll ask them what is it that you have to give to us that you have that you think that we need right and they'll tell us and then we'll say great what is it that you selfishly want from us and we want them to tell us what they can get from us and not so much when those when those things match you have a balanced relationship because what so example I've had it with people will you know they'll tell me what they what they have to offer and that's awesome because that's what I want and then they'll say what they have what they want to take and they go oh I want to work with the smart people I'm like plenty of smart people what is it you want to take from me they're like I want to help build something wonderful do that anywhere what do you want to take selfishly from me they can get nowhere else and if they kind of to the question I won't engage in a relationship and the reason is because in time the relationship is unbalanced they're gonna be giving but they're not taking and I don't even know how to give them what they want then they'll complain that I'm making enough money or that because it's not balanced that's right you speak to businesses and companies and leadership teams and employees and stuff without mentioning names I don't want to put you on the spot but have you gone and talked to a company that's been in trouble and then spoken to their team and then checked in on them after you've spoken to their leadership team and what did that look like did you notice a noticeable change did they come to you and tell you that this has helped our organization out and our culture is much improved because of it you mean does my work [Music] I mean sure here's the problem with my stuff you got to do it and I am NOT I'm not anybody's like you know mom or dad I'm not going to do it for you and I have a very less fair approach of it I once had a one side explant this is a bunch of years ago that said what guarantee do I have that your stuff will work which my answer was none like I I'm giving you a tool you can it's like a hammer you can use it broadly or narrowly you can build a table you can build a house it's the same tool you can use it for marketing your music completely revitalize your entire culture and even though I'm going to sell you the most beautiful hammer I'm not going to guarantee the structural integrity of the house right it's your business you want to ignore all my stuff ignore it I don't care it's your and if your business collapses you know what happens to me nothing like I don't mean to be cold about it like of course I want the people I work with to do well but it's not mine it's theirs and I take no emotional responsibility but the decisions they make so yes there are many people that I've had the pleasure of working with some who work for dysfunctional organizations that went on the hard journey of completely changing the way they lead and completely revitalizing their culture and it has great success it's not because of me it's because of them right at the same time there are many people who came in like what an amazing speech and did nothing you know thanks that was great you know and I don't it's of course it's gonna fail you know so I I think that we we have too much especially in the consulting world or the design world everybody's so paternalistic about it my designers are famous for this right they get so personally offended when the client chooses the wrong thing through this experience don't they know we're trying to help them or who cares like it's their freaking business right that's what you find I've had that instead of arguing with somebody for them to the right choice which because we genuinely want to help them what I have found is if you push the accountability down to because when we argue we're taking accountability this is better this will help you we're taking responsibility accountability but if we say look we've been doing this a bunch of years we know more about design than you do I'm telling you for every reason that I can outline for you why this will help you more but if you don't want to do it that's fine it's your business do what you want the minute you switch the accountability and put it all on them amazingly they're much more open to your opinion because now they're responsible thank you guys so much for watching I'd love to know what do you think of the video what did you learn from this are you more motivated now than you were before I'd love to know your thoughts please leave it in the comments below and I'm going to join in the discussion I also want to give a quick shout out to Tamra weeks Tamra thank you so much for picking up ten copies of my book and then doing that amazing YouTube unboxing video I really really really appreciate you and support it means a lot to me you see it ah look like look like look your one word the powerful secret to creating a business and life that matters Evan Carmichael so thank you guys again for watching I believe in you I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is much love I'll see you soon [Music]

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 379,731

Rating: 4.8630023 out of 5

Keywords: business, success, advice, help, entrepreneur, how to, better, life, money, work, job, career, company, motivation, education, inspiration, Evan, Carmichael, simon sinek motivation, simon sinek leadership, simon sinek success, simon sinek start with why, simon sinek business leadership, how to be a leader, leadership advice, learning leadership, career development, leaders eat last, successful leaders, simon sinek millennials, evan carmichael simon sinek, leadership, simon sinek, evan carmichael

Id: lkNfW5ych64

Length: 47min 43sec (2863 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 17 2016