'You Can’t Fix Him,' Dr. Phil Tells Young Woman Whose Boyfriend Has Been Abusive

let me answer your first question you know can you help deandre can you fix what's wrong with him yeah I feel like everyone's has like someone in the world that they're meant to be with so is he just like not meant to be with anybody if he's like this oh no no no not at all but by the same token what's wrong with him it is above your paygrade I do think he is very immature I think I think his emotional development was arrested at a very young age and I think he's functioning at an emotional age of maybe 12 13 years old what would you say I would say I mean whenever you know that he started smoking that's when an addict stops growing emotionally so whatever age he started smoking is where he's still had emotionally yeah because that's a that becomes their coping mechanism and so they stop necessities the mother of invention and when you don't have the necessity to develop coping skills because you're self-medicating then you stop developing at that point and our brain continues to grow in to our mid-20s and so when you start smoking marijuana and I know it's not the cool thing to say and I know it makes me sound like an old fuddy-duddy and I hate that if it makes me uncool but there is that little there is that little problem of overwhelming body of research that suggests that cannabis does interact with dopamine and the neurotransmitters in the brain particularly young brains that are evolving and changes the way they form and so it has an adverse effect on you and on him so let me shorten that by saying no you're not the one to fix him but can he evolve and mature and get past this absolutely he can and I have told him that I will get him the professional help to do that but I have also told him that that is contingent upon him leaving you alone until he gets himself under control and an independent professional can step up and say he is no longer a threat to someone he's in a relationship with and that means he has to take your name out of his vocabulary he has to not take your phone calls if you make him he has to not contact you because every time he does he's in violation of the court order and the judge will put him in jail for that and he made multiple confessions on this stage here that our confessions the judge will look really badly at and so I'm I'm not gonna try to put him in jail or influence the court in any way so long as he takes a mature enough path to try to get himself better so in answer your question no you you can't fix him there's nothing about you it's just that it requires more than then you're trained to do

Channel: Dr. Phil

Views: 1,520,325

Keywords: advice, daytime, doctors, dr phil, dr phil full episodes, dr., drphil, help, host, illness, mcgraw, mental, mustache, news, parenting, phil, psychologist, self, series, show, talk, tv

Id: ArxJlFW4EsA

Length: 3min 24sec (204 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 13 2018