Worst Game Ever - Army Men: Green Rogue

[Music] [Music] do hello everyone and welcome back once again to worst games ever it's the show where we play terrible video games sent in by you my name is peter and my name is ben hello ben how are you i'm doing okay thank you how are you yeah i'm doing fine i won't be in a few minutes i think when i play whatever the flip well i mean you would be the one to find out wouldn't you as this week's games victim which means that you'll be the one not to find out because you already know as the game's master i nearly said video games master then which was a bit weird oh that's incorrect isn't it it is and that means that you've brought along a terrible game for me as the victim to play and you've got some hot and fresh science facts to tell me about the game in question i absolutely do would you like to know what you're playing this week peter yes please you are going to be playing army men green rogue army men green rogue oh one of the yeah unbelievably high number of army men games out there there are a lot of them i it always surprises me how many there are there were made there are a lot of these games but this one is one of the worst so you know brilliant that's exciting it is well uh let's get to it and find out just how worst it really is hmm is that right um three there were two of them at six d.o oh that's not right no is this mitosis yeah this is how uh what they called small soldiers army men uh reproduce this is how small soldiers breed green army well like a sexual reproduction that's incredible i could try and fix that in post like this oh that looks way better somehow it might not it might still look a bit grainy but there you go we've got one screen now oh we're being scanned oh they've got army men in in vats where are they the green army advanced research division it's harder for us to read it than the audience because it's all squished in half for us yeah it's bouncing all over the place yeah here he comes look colonel green man yep colonel greenman he's got medals yeah green medals yeah what hellscape is this what's happening why is he is he breeding them i don't know are they all his children oh um mr x the final phase of the experiment is about to begin like power rangers are you sure this would not harm them we've gone over this a thousand times colonel with this type of biological experiment there is always risks there is always risks there is yes oh no only commandos will be out of commission for several weeks while their bodies recuperate right does it count as a biological experiment if they're made of plastic i don't know it depends whether or not they're gonna just leak the toxic fumes and and byproducts into a nearby lake i see yeah oh it's this music that gets reused in all kinds of things oh wow yeah there it is it's in the spider-man 1 movie game it's in um [Music] on holy war it's in spyro 2. [Music] they're taking the green out oh no or are they putting the green into them i'm not really sure which direction this is well that's coming out of them have they been melted down yeah they what what's happening here or is it just their blood it's hard to tell what part of their body that is whether it's just their innards or if it's oh no they're making one soldier from what was that six eight yeah oh they're filling in the gaps with frog dna and now we can make a baby dinosaur no has that model on the screen got sunglasses on yeah it has is that how cool not green ones they already know how cool they want it to be oh here it is this is a magnificent that's a pokedex i'm fairly sure yeah it is actually oh oh oh there he is deadpool there's there's the guy this is a great i mean there's no animation or movement whatsoever here there's no you know press start isn't flashing there's no indicator here we go let's press oh god oh i don't like that menu at all that's bad also him stood we're assuming it to him of course we're taking a lot of liberties here but stood in that big explosion you have to assume bearing in mind that he's made out of plastic he's not going to survive very long in that environment yeah i know he was sort of running away but he was definitely stood well and truly inside the explosion there sorry if you just noticed when i backed out of this it went is that is that taken from the the green army men world cup yeah they're all lining up for their penalties oh we can change it to oh that's going to get old isn't it or will it maybe it won't oh army men are sergeants heroes tm2 army main air attack tm-2 and warriors of might and magic i definitely had one of these on ps1 i can't remember which one it was though hello oh it's split again it's having a bit of trouble it is [Music] i agree this looks great can we play this instead yeah it looks far more interesting crowd oh she looks positively evil doesn't she does doesn't she oh what's this fleshy squid monster oh oh yeah i've seen this before this cut scene they put the thing on his head does he become jim carrey yeah just runs around doing impressions of famous movie stars from the 80s you have to ask yourself one question oh wow there he goes playstation well i'll skip that brilliant game incredible army men green rogue also known as army man omega soldier if you want to get european about this uh oh no in europe for the playstation it says is a shoot-'em-up video game developed and published by the three-doo company for playstation 2 and playstation it was released in europe on april the 6th 2001. sometimes it three do be like that they do three like that they really three do it's three do go down this game is 20 years old wow 20 years old yeah i mean that makes me feel old because i'm aware of army men it should do oh they're moving the pokemon it's a golden one though it's already completed yeah maybe some some rich dad has bought that for his kid uh there's all there's a purple one i'm assuming they're the bad guys do you think and i'm just guessing here that they're about to get shot down and our man will be the only survivor ah the sole survivor or you could call him the army men green rogue you could you could call him that it's entirely possible we'll just have to see this that bit that i just read by the way was the one of two lines on wikipedia right okay the other line was about its critical reception so oh no look oh direct hit i believe the baddies in this game are called uh the uh tans so there's the greens and the tans the beige ones what was the purple one then i don't know he did look purple didn't he maybe it was just the lighting i'm not sure wow there's no way anyone survived that no unless you're made of five soldiers of course unless you're a green rogue yeah he's got four lives left in secure omega project cargo b company advance to sector g49er and engage all enemy forces he's scary isn't he he's got a long top lip hasn't he look at that he has just been shift stretched down i think in photoshop yeah whoa oh he's pointing at us a point like that that's rude isn't it oh yeah is this the gameplay we're going to see some sick action where's our man where is he he's going to punch his way out of the pokemon oh you know he is he's going to backflip up out of the dirt i'm gonna move some rubble i know it's here oh he is he's punching his way out smash i think you have to play a little guitar lick every time he does something rad yeah okay oh okay that was that's right it's the less dramatic it's really unexpected is he gonna okay he's just standing up he's gonna say do a kip up or something cool no here he is he's just oh he's got actual shading he's not just all green yeah look how muscular he is he's not got a nose or a mouth or he is five people went into this man and he didn't inherit a nose or mouth from any of them oh now he's got a shirt on how did that happen it was that flashback to when he was a man one man he's doing yeah weird flickery transformation remember when i had hair oh yeah he's kind of he's still mutating oh man he misses his pocket so much yeah they took six men and put them into his biceps that's it that's where it's all gone he's making pig squeal sound effects i think he's having a really really tough day he's only been alive for six hours i know poor guy what's he got he's gonna throw a bit of helicopter oh my god okay that's a guitar lick mode that is for sure he's found a gun he moved it to get the gun excuse me helicopter strap up oh he's got a blade knife here come the tans yeah yeah that's it hell yeah here we go he's so powerful isn't he i would not want to encounter him in a forest look at this dude he's been alive for less than a day his eyes glow all he knows is that he's really cross look how fast he's going welcome to the jungle yeah we're not gonna we're not gonna risk that that copyright infringement oh we're in here we go so this is what it looks like oh oh my god it controls weirdly oh me oh what oh it's it's a scroller i can't go back and i can only go left oh it's a twin stick shooter it's a twin stick shooter yeah so you you're steering with the right stick and moving with the left or at least you're you're changing your aim with the right stick i'm shooting with r1 oh my god listen to his voice though oh i've got a grenade launcher how did that guy blow up and talking over each other i don't know genuinely don't know what oh well there goes that over that one well it's very um thoughtful of the tan soldiers to just slowly make their way towards your single file isn't it yeah they've got good camouflage to turn the soldiers oh i can't i can't aim up or down i can only you're just gonna fire from point blank range at them oh god it just it really chugged for a moment there i don't know what caused that yeah discord is not enjoying this stream isn't it no it's really struggling oh can you hurt their tents can you not kill them but just destroy their tents go grab some health i think one of those guys died twice there yes army men green rogue shadows died twice yeah so there's very little on wikipedia we're now going to hop over to moby games right oh a new breed of plastic no let me try that again a new breed of plastic soldier is genetically engineered from the best soldiers in the green army wow oh look they've got help from the cyans oh yeah look low on cyan print no oh during a mission to transport that's cool this new form of troop to a testing facility the transport chopper is shot down waylaid in the heart of tan headquarters the green rogue wakes he must then fight his way out of the enemy base tearing apart tan soldiers wherever he sees them this will be the final test for these genetically engineered green robes it'll be the final test for them there'll be six more army men games after this well there's there's at least 20 missions in this anyway so yeah it continues will the past the test or will they fall into the hands of the tan forces oh who's to say it looks really fun are you having a nice time yeah i'm having a great time i like the fact that i can only oh he's full and he's continue it looks like you can just keep playing forever so there's no i've got lives there two times lives has it not i think oh i got it yeah so you just gave you two more okay well that's nice to know at least yeah because it's kind of difficult like so it's kind of terrible huh it was certainly it's a twin stick shooter but i don't have full you might be able to see as i turn it's sort of going in notches at times what are those two doing on the left i don't know it's not quite as bad as like the very early days of twin stick where you had like four cardinal directions or if you were lucky you could go north west southwest north east southeast i've got maybe 16 directions so it's still occasionally you can't be quite precise enough to oh and it doesn't like too many things happening at once that's probably the emergency so it's just so weird isn't it like the way that this is built up so this is this is the the pinnacle of plastic soldier technology and there he is sort of jerkily rotating along he can't stop walking we've had a slight genetic malfunction and he is incapable of stopping he must always be walking in the direction if i stand still here well i can't actually that's him slowly walking that's him i thought it might at least let me stand still until the camera caught up with me like mario but no unfortunately major there is a slight quirk to our new soldier and that he will always look like he slightly needs the toilet there are always dangers with biological experimentation lieutenant just look at him just waddling forwards it looks so ridiculous yeah right surely the flamethrower is the most op weapon it just seems to be the particle effects it doesn't like doesn't matter oh no there's traps now the noise oh my lord sound there's so much sound why do they have this in their base yeah who did this they got the resident evil designers in like well i think it might be like it's been here all along like the indigenous people maybe built that yeah god forbid we go around them huh yeah what a voice or it's just the explosions it doesn't like that's all so after we played um zethura yeah one of our wonderful viewers updated the zethura wiki yes to more accurately reflect the quality of the game and to mention that it had been featured on worst games ever i now call upon our audience to do the same thing with the army men wiki oh yeah this game does feature on it right now read you what they had to say about it or at least just can't advance any further the action-packed third-person shooter with a sense of humor keeps on rolling with this combative installment little plastic soldiers are warring again as always it's the greens versus the tans but this time the greens i don't know why simon miller's on this side but this time the greens might have come up with the weapon that will win the war the little green guys have taken their best warriors infused them full of crazy chemicals and turned them into superhuman battle machines that are ready to tear the tans to well even that is not actually accurate that's not what happened no it's not they took juice out of the other soldiers and made a man out of the juice this man is made of five boys juices yeah it's like a what is it soggy biscuit something like that yes it's exactly like that google it kids a big buck cake yes delicious boo cake you killed 70 oh fish you're very efficient that was pretty efficient others killed eight out of eight you got medals oh look at those they're plastic though so oh when i go left and right there's a little d can you can you make it layer up if you yes you can thank you oh delete oh oh i pressed x to inspect hang on go back how do i inspect medal oh the select button select of course yeah well that's what that's used for cross of glory recognizes extraordinary effort against the tans 90 or more you get a medal of valor uh against killing all of the tan's allies the cyans and the pinks and whatever i like the idea that like at military hq they specifically have those prerequisites you have to get 90 efficiency we do have an entire department that will investigate how many people you could have killed circle rename omega so now i can what can i name my character now but i couldn't before i don't know maybe it's just your save data name what do you want to call him hulk that's good okay i like that because he's green you get it he is great yeah i do i do get it it's really clever green green rogue right okay one word this is great this is what a brilliant game still going fast 2021. he's so qui i can't get over how quick he is the motion blur is obscene yeah that's like mach 5 at least it is oh yes yeah we're not auto scrolling i'll keep an eye out to press start i wish i could sadly not like this is your event have they said whoa okay that was an option i just accidentally pressed right trigger instead of r1 because of course in these old games r1 is shoot i just sneezed because i just sneezed that's how allergic i am to this terrible weapon they've given you i know it's really not right for the job is it it doesn't fire faster you have to be really precise oh god to hit the man with the rocket which is not really the point of a rocket no i think you're just meant to hit the floor nearby or a wall or a bit of scenery you're not meant to precisely hit the boy with the with this oh now i'm dead with the rpg i'll do my star burst again oh i can't oh i only had one chance don't worry there's another one on the floor for you to pick up what's that oh that's oh i can crouch and stop if i want to oh brilliant what an unhelpful mechanic because you're still getting the absolute crap shot out of you yeah i've not really tried all the buttons actually are they hitting each other he was just shooting his friend in the back but that was fine right uh so square does crouch triangle does nothing yeah circle does nothing yeah well having a nap again so that voice very bad yeah the voice that's that's playing that i mean when layered with so many loud sound effects just sounds like your speakers are vibrating rather than actually any discernible language being spoken that's jim cummings oh he voices sarge grim and omega soldier in this game you may know him peter from literally everything yeah from i i should have looked into this a bit further but from what i understand he voiced aladdin in aladdin he voices winnie the pooh he also voices a character in the clone wars called hondo onaka yeah he voices hondo he's pretty cool character he's been looking at his imdb he's been active pretty much since the the early 90s through to now he's just never stopped he's been in loads of games he's been in loads of tv shows and films particularly animated stuff there's a very good chance that you'll be familiar with jim cummings work even if you don't know the name yeah so you might not know who there'll be all kinds of people who all kinds of characters that he's voiced that you don't even know especially if he voiced winnie the pooh i don't think i made the connection there i think again it felt so weird to read that i can't believe it's true but that's what it said fancy being able to do this voice of winnie the pooh that is a very fine looking pot of honey you've got there and then this voice of this character what's in those crates well yeah i was gonna say his his greatest achievement clearly has been voicing oh it says game over the omega oh dear voicing the omega soldier oh the camera's still still going though yeah the omega soldier yeah oh right okay we're right back to the front menu brilliant okay glad i saved it with hulk hey kids happy birthday we got you the new army soldier game because you love them so much yeah you've gotta you gotta appreciate that right what a treat hey if you wanted to buy one today a copy of this game on amazon yeah how much do you think it would cost you i'll keep an eye out uh let's say is this new yes i think so yeah uh what about um 1599 oh close 14.99 that's how much it would cost you and how many left in stock do you think there are i was struggling for this i expect the limit of your science facts uh um eight one oh get it while it's hot better hurry you don't want to miss out on this fire rockets over the shoulders of tiny tiny plastic men i mean i can't duck but i shouldn't have to just crouch in the middle of it oh my goodness a battlefield um oh the camera the x button fires but of course you require the expert your the expert is controlled with your right thumb typically as is the right stick which is needed to aim in any given direction in this game because it's a twin stick shooter therefore shooting with x is completely pointless because as soon as you let go of the right stick you're no longer in control of your aiming yeah they're about to have a very bad day wow and then he dies oh winnie the pooh ladies and gentlemen can i can i switch gun no oh oh god i've just wasted it nuclear strike well it's nice of them to leave you alone as you go up here yeah let's uh let's hear from an amazon review shall we one of the uh the people who have played this game bought it i literally can't attack these guys until i've climbed the hill it's so stupid that is bad and now i can't attack them anymore because i'm above them it should have like height auto aim you know what the early fps games did where yeah i can do if you just had your x coordinate correct then it would sort out the y for you um yeah sorry continue a bit cruel isn't it yeah so this is from d hornby okay on amazon uh the they gave it in fact you know what i'll read you the review and then you can guess what what star rating they gave it the subtitle of the review is buttock clenchingly poor oh okay but they've spelled clenchingly with a t clamped clint chingly poor right okay this game is poor it's so boring for one you start off and the camera ushers you forwards and that's right you cut you can't even move backwards to a certain point and then this is where the ti damn kicks in the watchman tedium oh the todayum yeah the todayum uh god this sentence the todaium kicks in aim shoot move aim shoot move crappy boringness aim shoot move next level and what's worse is none of my friends like it so i can't sell it to them oh no i don't want to get ripped off at a shop and i can't sell it on here now that i've written this review darn it do not buy but you can from me that's what he says two people found this helpful uh what star rating did d hornby give uh the buttock clint chingley pork army men well just while it's fresh in the mind i'll tell you that while you were reading that we got stuck between the forward encroaching sorry ushering camera yeah uh and a plant and the camera had to briefly move backwards to really let you go fast yeah i think they gave it um one star oh you're right you're right he can't even sell it to his friends because they don't like it no he doesn't want to get ripped off at a shop no well he doesn't want to get ripped off at a shop but clearly he knows how much it's worth because it's rubbish so yeah he's not getting ripped off he wants to rip some he's openly admitting to wanting to rip someone else off i don't want to get ripped off i want to rip someone else off but he wants his full 1499 back he wrote this in 2006 so yeah anyway would you like the metacritic review scores from the professionals yes please so this game got on metacritic 39 right which is great isn't it yeah i'll read you the top review this is from hot games they said the controls and action are both pitifully executed and the graphics and sound won't make up the difference oh my goodness [Music] yeah what makeup before won't make up the difference jesus is what they said what did hog no he's still firing you've got to stop him i've got to stop him he's trying to sabotage my game um oh what did hot games give it out of 100 oh that's these guys talking i thought it was me but my voice changed bonk um i think they gave it um 28 they gave it 50 percent 50 after that scavenge they said there was nothing good about it that's the highest review score the lowest comes from game revolution who have a habit of being at the bottom of the are uh metacritic scores actually yeah they do uh they said someone needs to recycle this plastic and make something more useful like a toilet paper holder right it's not it's not their best work no it's not i can think of much worse things made of plastic than a toilet paper holder yeah what is a toilet paper holder i'm a weird thing a weird description of that i don't know god you can really kind of mess this guy around if you move in funny ways he's the best that the green army have yeah um so this is the lowest score they gave it um a toilet paper holdering glee 20 percent they gave it 16 16. i don't even know how you would calculate that score look at this dire game design i can't shoot any of these people until i've got nose to nose with them it's awful no one tested this it's terrible those shadows are great as well look the whole game is great there he is yeah the best soldier ever look peter i think we've made it this is probably quite a short recording but i don't know if you have it in you to do it again well i don't think the audience really want to see that all over again that's the other thing is that let me just go back to the first level and see can i skip this is it was the environment exactly the same i feel like it was extremely small was the same brown color or tan i should say tan yeah i wonder if this whole is basically identical the whole game is just gonna look like this i wouldn't be surprised yeah so there we are that is let me scroll up because it's not just called army men it's army men green rogue or a moga soldier if you look at your repeat about this yeah i bought abort yes and there and there we have it those are my science facts this game is rubbish it is rubbish if you enjoyed this as a child then your nostalgia has lied to you i'm afraid because it's not it's not very good at all i'm gonna do one thing one more thing which is test my my nuclear option test my might oh yeah your big fart yeah you ready come on guys oh my god goodness that was fine that was pretty effective but there's not many situations when you're surrounded like that and you only get one of them i don't think you can i've not noticed that i can pick any up right yeah exactly having to choose your moment is is a bit of a challenge that you're stuck on a man stuck on a map stuck the camera's gonna it was going back there for a moment poor green deadpool there it goes that guy's gonna get a special medal is this is this how you unlock it oh it is those sort of weird insignias oh that's how you get more more farts anyway mission accomplished well done man pack it up we're going home um yeah don't forget to uh literally actually write about this on the army men wiki i know we joke about it sometimes yeah do actually do it um if you just google search army men green don't do it on real wikipedia because they get funny about it and they don't like it they get really get really shirty with us so don't do that but do go on sort of the fan wikis if you just google search army men green rogue it's one of the few immediate responses that you'll get there so you'll find out well thank you so much for watching everybody you can actually get access to worst games ever two days before anybody else by supporting us at the appropriate tier on patreon isn't that right peter that's absolutely right it's the uh the hot and fresh tier so head on over to uh patreon.com forward slash team triple jump and sign yourself up for that and yeah you'll be able to get this two days early on fridays it's a treat for you yeah a real joy uh that's it thank you everyone um i'm going to go and instead watch the warriors of might and magic uh trailer again because that's that was fun i did enjoy the weird uh claw sludge okay see you next time everyone bye everyone bye wait a minute what do we have here oh wait turn that thing back on [Music] you

Channel: TripleJump

Views: 179,184

Keywords: army men, army men game, army men video game, army men green rogue, army men green rogue ps2, army men green rogue ps1, army men omega soldier, army men omega soldier ps2, army men omega soldier ps1, army men ps1, army men ps2, army men sarge's heroes, army men sarge's heroes 2, army men sarge's war, army men air attack, worst games ever, worst games ever made, worst games ever triple jump, worst games ever vidiots, worst games of all time, worst video games ever, wge

Id: mLkcTLlAD2s

Length: 34min 35sec (2075 seconds)

Published: Sun May 30 2021