WORK WEEK IN MY LIFE: i got laid off...

I just got laid [Music] off I need to close these up good morning everyone happy Monday it's actually no longer morning it's about noon it's my lunch break I just made myself a little lunch I've been working from home today doing a ton of stuff so this lunch that I have here it's a little wrap I have a tortilla some honey mustard the frenches honey mustard lettuce and then the just be chicken nuggets and I made it into a wrap oh it's falling apart again oh no I was like oh if I put a knife in it will stay together no no no no it needs more mustard which I kind of assumed is going to happen oh it is all fell I think I stuffed it too much I'm back I had to eat that that was ending up horribly I am going to repap my weekend while I peel this little orange cuz I also defitely not fully full but I wanted one of these this past weekend I had a really fun weekend if you guys know I do little Tik toks where I do like little weekend Vlogs if you guys want to see more into that go check that out past weekend my friends and I like bar hopped a little bit on Friday and then on Saturday I went to a Blake Shelton concert St Jude Hospital invited me to a Blake Shelton concert and it was so much fun Gwen Stefani came out I was like freaking out cuz it's Gwen Stefani it was a really fun weekend Saturday did that Sunday caught up on like all my YouTube and my groceries and all that stuff I'm really excited for the meals that I want to make this week one thing that I decided to do is I did this in the past but my routine has changed a little bit since then and I feel like I just kind of been falling off on a lot of things recently so I have in my phone this thing called weekly to-dos and this is just all the things that I want to do every single day of the week I think I was just putting too much on Saturday and I didn't accomplish a lot of it so Sunday I did that I did that I did that I did that I did that and I did not do that Monday is today so I did do this I haven't done this yet and I haven't really done this but these are all the things that I want to do so sometimes I have like meetings and like I have my therapy I have plot so I put all this stuff in there and I just wanted to make it reasonable for myself and so this is what I'm planning on doing I feel like a lot of the times I always fall off later in the week so I really want to try my best to kind of not fall off I'm hoping that I can follow through with that I just feel like my routine has really been out of place and I think I just haven't been as motivated and it's not always about motivation a lot of the times it's discipline motivation is what will start you discipline is what will keep you going and I think that I need to just focus on that but I think having a kind of structured plan for what I want to do every single week will help obviously I always use I gave myself a paper cut ow wasn't that bad actually obviously I always use my weekly to-do list I have a bigger one and a smaller one I sell these if you guys are curious about them oh I did that let me check this off so I've been just trying to be better about following my weekly to-do list my daily to-do list my phone to-do list all of the to-do list I also did that sick writing it down and just sticking to something if I create a plan for myself I'm better at following through with it than if I'm just like in my head telling myself what to do and I kind of forget things hopefully this week will kind of be a very productive and efficient week I'll take you guys with me as I do all these things hopefully I will be able to do all of them and hopefully it will kind of help me that's where we're at for today I'm proud of myself I put all my laundry away I just need to put away this stuff I always dry my leggings air dry them so I don't want them to get like kind of messed up from the dryer very exciting hopefully this week is a very productive week I just want to be better this week I want to be a better version of myself also this weekend I changed out this I've been talking about this for like a month now so I'll link this print down below for you guys it's from Etsy I'll link like the frame and everything and then this blanket I also switched it out this blanket I got from Target years and years and years ago if you guys have been watching my YouTube videos for a while you guys have seen this blanket in the background of my videos for years now I talked about this in the past I really love having kind of like a kind of neutral apartment cuz I can switch things out like this and it doesn't really make that big of a difference I'm trying to think if there's anything else I don't think so I think that's that's my updates for [Music] now I'm on my walking pad doing some work whenever I'm doing things that require like low mental capacity especially like I could not be in a meeting doing this cuz this is pretty loud I've seen some walking pads that are like very quiet this one I think is a little bit louder but I'll link it down below for you guys for the cheapest one I found and then I have this desk Riser which I'll link down below for you guys as well but I love this makes me feel very efficient I feel like I'm like doubling like not body doubling but like doing two things at once I'm doing a 2.4 speed I probably could do higher I have done like all the way up to three in the past my walking Pad but actually I'll do 2 five right now cuz why not has this little remote I feel like this sounds like it's like a sponsorship or like a promo it's not I just like [Music] it good morning everyone this mess right here is from me trying to make peanut butter protein bars last night they didn't really not that great today is Tuesday and we are heading into the office I'm just here making my little egg bites that I have that I meal prepped the past 2 weeks I've been meal prepping like little egg bites I'm also filming like a little like morning Vlog for Tik Tok type of thing curious how this is going to turn out last night I went on a walk I went to plaes kind of the usual May dinner and then I made these little peanut butter protein balls they were honestly not that good they were kind of disappointing which was sad you know obviously I use a that I found on Tik Tok and I was like oh if I like them like I'll make them later again this week I think they had potential but they weren't that good mid I just got laid off oh my God I was not expecting that okay um yeah wow I just got laid off they um essentially said my position was a global position it wasn't a local position and they were restructuring things globally and um my position was the newest one created ated a few people I guess got laid off and in my team mine was the newest one so yeah so I'm going to go home okay I'm going to go home now so this might be one of the worst oh my God I'm like literally about to start crying again I was totally fine and now oh I said those two words and I'm like wow this might be one of the worst days of my entire life um so I got laid off when I had vlogged in my car that was like right after I'd gotten in my car after it so I don't I don't really know what to happen so all today I was in one of like the little meeting rooms in my office my former office was like an open concept floor plan like we didn't have cubicles or anything I like always struggled to focus in that cuz everyone was so loud so I was in like a little meeting room just by myself all day like it was just like one desk in a room and I hadn't seen my boss all day I knew that he was there cuz I saw his stuff but I hadn't seen him and then he messaged me to meet him in one of the big conference rooms and I was like oh no like am I in trouble I walk in the conference room it's h and then the HR person and I immediately go am I in trouble I forgot exactly what he said but he was like no but sit down and he explained to me that oh my God I'm like Lally B are cry again the company is restructuring and my position is being removed entirely and he like expressed to me like so many times that it was like nothing that I did and there was nothing that like I could have done to control it or anyone could have oh God I don't want to start crying again but you're right it's like just like hard to talk when you're crying do you know what I'm talking about and then he left and then the HR lady was just going over everything with me and she was saying that like in marketing this is very common for layoffs she's like it's always like the first one that's hit oh my God this is so embarrassing they had a few layoffs and because my position is one the newer once created that mine was um one the first to be removed we went over everything and then I wasn't oh my God I why I can't stop crying like I just want to control myself but I can't I'm not allowed to say goodbye to anyone apparently part of my NDA or whatever that I signed with my company was that they are the ones who are supposed to break the news I can't tell anybody so I had to like leave and not tell anybody and today was my last day and like it essentially like after my meeting with her I just like left um and so I like got some my things very discreetly so no one would notice and I just left without saying goodbye to anyone cuz I wasn't allowed to so that happened I got in my car vlogged that clip the second I turned my camera off I got a text so another bad news came my way I've been talking for a little bit in my Vlogs about how I've been like doing something that I I don't want to jinx cuz I was afraid it was going to go bad or something bad would happen if I talked about it too soon but I was really excited and I was going to tell you guys I was trying to buy a house a condo i' had been looking for a while and there wasn't really anything good and I had found this one condo and it was beautiful it was perfect it was the price should have been way higher than it was the price should have been like $50 to $100,000 more than it was I had no idea why it was priced so low and it was beautiful and it was in the right location and it was it was everything that I wanted everything except it didn't have a washer and dryer but I was like oh I can just put one in it was perfect I had made an offer they had accepted it people who were selling it were kind of [ __ ] but we had the inspection last weekend that was all fine we were just now like negotiating the inspections of like what they would fix and what they wanted me to fix and what I wanted them to fix and what they wouldn't fix I was going to sign that document and then after I signed that document it was going to be good and I was just waiting for closing and then I got a text that I can't get the house or the condo because the condo isn't warranted I don't even understand it but basically the condos would only allow cash offers policy it wasn't financeable or something like that I don't know I just got off the phone with the the loan officer guy or whatever I don't even know but I can't get that because I don't have enough money to pay for it in cash and honestly I probably wouldn't even want to because I don't have a job anymore feel very fortunate that I do social media that I could have some money from that ever since starting my job I've made less videos and probably going to have to rank that back up but I don't make as much money from social media as I used to because I spent so much time putting into my job versus social media so I'm a little worried that it's not going to be able to support me the way that it used to also YouTube is my biggest platform and YouTube is not really like a growing platform I don't there's just so many fears I have at the end of the day I'm not going to go back to doing YouTube full time the second that she said that I that they were like removing my position oh my God sorry okay I have therapy today thank God I know that I want to get another job because I felt a lot happier when I had my job versus doing YouTube full-time I was very unhappy doing social media fulltime really like writing like talking points to make a Tik Tok about how much I like having a full-time job instead of doing social media full-time now thank God I didn't post that that would have been so embarrassing this is just a part of life this happened this just sucks but yeah I will be like applying for new jobs and trying to get a new job I'm sure that will be hard in this economy cuz it took me a while to find this job I have another thing to add to my resume I guess but this is so embarrassing um I really didn't think I was going to cry during this part I was like okay I collected myself but I guess not I think I'm just going to take the week to just kind of like process all of this I don't know and then I guess maybe the end this week or next week I'll just kind of start adjusting my resume and all that stuff where are my tissues do I even have any I just got bad news after like two both of these were very much so a Blindside that I couldn't buy this house and that I got laid off I need to blow my nose sorry I'm back um this happens my boss was saying that oh this happened to him like he got a job and without even working there for a full year he got laid off cuz it was like one of the newest positions and he said it was the best thing that ever happened to him and hopefully I can say the same um he wrote me a really nice email after I left sorry oh my God this is just like I just didn't see this coming I asked um the HR person like how how far in advance they know these things are happening and she could have completely lied to me for all honesty but she was saying that um it seems like also side not that the I was the only person in my office who got laid off my company is a global company that was based in London my former company oh my God the company I used to work for the company I worked for this morning um it's a global company and she was saying that the restructuring that they were doing was globally and my position was a global position not a local position so she was kind of like alluding to the fact that I was the only one in our office being laid off and then I asked her like how far in advance do you guys know about these cuz I was just like didn't did everyone know about like I don't know she was saying that like locally they find out the day of so I don't know if they all found out today that they were laying me off or not maybe she was just being polite but I don't know um I thought I finally like had it together that I was going to stop crying but I guess not and I don't really know what else to say I just had therapy honestly it didn't oh my God I'm about to start crying again see I'm fine until I start talking and then that's when the water work start happening I had therapy but it didn't really help it didn't really do anything yeah I don't know kind of sucks but it is what it is um I have a plot class I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I tried to cancel it and it was too late and I'm not really in the business of trying to lose money right now so we're going to go pilates class I'm really afraid that I'm going to start crying and pilates or before and the instructor is like instructor that always talks people like he remembers my name and I'm just afraid that he's going to see my eyes are all bloodshot I really really really don't want that to happen I'm trying to make the best of what's happening this is just a part of life truthfully but I don't really know what to say I I want to send like some messages to my two bosses tomorrow just like thanking them for like everything and like their mentorship and like they were like very good like I really enjoyed working with them and like learning a lot from them and so I want to send like messages my one boss who worked remote they didn't like let me say goodbye to anyone obviously um so I couldn't say goodbye to her they also like restricted my teams and Outlook they like literally like canceled my email as I was getting laid off the HR lady was like uh let's like pull up your portal for like your benefits and everything so we can like you know check some stuff off and it was like in that moment like Outlook like jumping and was like you lost your password or like something like that so like they literally restricted it like as I was getting laid off which just like still nice so I couldn't like say obviously I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to anyone but um she texted me and sent me a nice message but I wanted to like say thank you to both of them so that's going to be something for tomorrow um I haven't really oh man I'm about to start crying again I don't want to start crying again but here I am um sorry about the tears I'm sure like I'll be more like emotionally stable hopefully throughout this Vlog if not next week just processing everything has been a lot but I haven't told anyone yet cuz I feel I don't want to say that I feel embarrassed cuz like it's a very normal thing and I was talking to my therapist about this and like if somebody that I know got laid off I wouldn't be like oh that's embarrassing or I wouldn't feel that way but I don't know like I just I feel really embarrassed and I'm like not ashamed to tell people but just like I don't know I was I was talking my therapist about this and it was just I just kind of kept going in circles like I kept getting like stuck on this like I couldn't really get past it like I just don't want people to pity me I'm also afraid of posting this video cuz I don't want anyone pity me it's just a part of life and it is what it is I just I don't know I just haven't told anyone yet I'm kind of been like ghosting everybody right now um I no I did tell actually actually no I did tell um I told my mom on my way home my best friend texted me like how my day was and then I told her so I did tell one person um but I haven't like told anybody else and I'm just like embarrassed too like I don't like I don't really know how to like say I don't know and I know it shouldn't be embarrassing it's not embarrassing it's just something that happens it's common so many people are going through it have been through it we go through it but I don't know it's different when it's yourself you know like it's just not a positive experience um and it we'll be fine I'll be fine I'll make it out you know I learned a lot and I'm in a different position now than I was when I was getting this job cuz now I have experience my boss wrote me a letter of recommendation my other one said that she would so like I'm in a different situation now than I was last time but it's still I'm sorry for all the tears I feel I feel stupid and it's okay it's okay it's everything's fine like I'm just I'm fine I'm clearly not fine I just hope that like in a year from now I'll look back on this and be like oh like this all like happened for a reason it's all you know like every like it just it worked out the way it was supposed to and I really I really hope that's the case we will see I don't know you know I have to have faith that it will work out I have a lot of like fears and worries about like will I be able to find a job soon enough you know will I have to dip into my savings will I find a job that I liked as much cuz I truly did like my job a lot like I really feel like we can have a whole conversation about this but you know when I first decided that I wanted to get a full-time job and not do social media full-time I honestly expected to hate it like in full transparency I thought that I was going to be like miserable I liked this job so much that it truly showed me that I do want to work and and have a career outside of social media and it's just it's kind of like a slap in the face that I got to the decision that I wanted something I worked hard to get it I got it I don't want to say that it was taken away from me but I lost it it's honestly like a hit to my ego in a sense um I just feel like sorry for all the tears guys I hope that he either fast forward through this or something I don't know this morning looked very different in my life than how this looks honestly this morning I thought I was on track for buying a condo and I had a job and I had all this you know like I had a sense of what where my future was going and now I don't you know okay so yeah hi everyone I'm happy I don't know if that's the right word Wednesday here's my issue I'm fine and then the second I start speaking out loud I feel my eyes start to tear up and I'm like I can't be crying this entire Vlog so last night I went to Pilates cuz I couldn't cancel it I think it was a good thing cuz I didn't cry during it I thought I was going to I think when I walked in it was kind of like like I got some looks you know when it's like very obvious someone's been crying and you're like oh like but I didn't cry during it I think I cried after and then I cried this morning when I woke up and I'm about to cry right now thinking about it but I'm trying not to the eyes are getting spicy I cannot be crying this entire video I'm fine when I think about it in my head but I think it's like saying the words out loud like there's still this part of me that's like this isn't real like they're they're going to change their mind they're not going to change their mind Kean come on what the [ __ ] I made a to-do list of things that I want to do today I'll read them off to you guys I need to email my editor I have an editor who rough cuts my videos now that I'm unemployed I have all the time in the world to be rough cutting my videos and then I want to thank I'm going to put another person I had another one of my co-workers reach out to me today I'm still not allowed to tell anyone about it cuz I my company they may I was realizing they may need do an Irish goodbye and I was like oh my God so I couldn't tell tell anyone but apparently like my team is finding out cuz we have like a weekly meeting with my my former team and I'm sure me not showing up you know so one of one person texted me last night one person texted me this morning I need to submit paperwork to switch over my insurance thankfully I'm under 26 so I can be on my mom's insurance even though it's not grade insurance and I need to email the person in HR because they still haven't like submitted that I no longer work for the company and I need I needed to hurry up because I have my Accutane appointment next week and then oh I need to email the person who helps me with my finan because I contribute to a rough IRA every month and I think I'm going to pause that until I'm employed again just because that's a lot of money that you know I could be saving or recuperating another thing which this video is going to go up you know within time like this I think my videos are like a week behind like when they normally post so I will have know by the time this video goes up but there's still a possibility that I can buy that condo this is not the way that I wanted to tell you guys about it but there is still a possibility that I can buy it because there's a loan officer who apparently does loans on condos like that all the time maybe my loan officers wasn't able to I have no idea I I don't know if it's stupid honestly like I don't know if it's stupid to be purchasing something like this in my situation again I feel very fortunate that I have an extra stream of income and I don't want it to seem like oh I make absolutely no money but I will say YouTube is not as big of a money Source I think as a lot of people think it is I think that people see like influencers who have millions of followers and make a ton of money then expect everybody else makes that that's never really been my situation cuz i' I've never been like a huge influencer I've always been like not always but like kind of like a mid tier you know so I'm not making like extreme amounts of money doing it I feel very fortunate that I can fall back on it but it's not something that honestly like is sustainable for the rest of my life you know hopefully it will be sustainable until I find a new job hopefully that won't take me 6 months to a year I have no idea so there is a possibility that I could purchase this condo and it does make me really nervous of like is this a really dumb decision to be purchasing something in the midst of being unemployed for the most part but I will say that that being unemployed is hopefully a shortterm thing and owning a home is a long-term thing I think from the numbers that I've gathered who knows that this loan officer will be different my mortgage would be about the same that I'm paying rent here and that money would go into Equity so I don't know there's just there is that there is like there's a lot to consider and this isn't really the way that I wanted to tell you guys this isn't really the way that I wanted this all to go about honestly like I definitely didn't want to be in this this is just not a situation that I thought I was going to be in like I don't know if you guys ever feel this way but like I hear things like that like in my mind I think that I'm like immune to these things which like I'm not clearly I think that I'm wanting to um write letters to the people I worked with and just like thank them see that that's going to make me cry cuz I really enjoyed working with these people and I feel like I learned so much from them and just like valued their mentorship so much to me like I think of the people that I worked with I like think of them so highly and it makes me sad like not being able to work with them again or not really oh my God I think that's like one of the parts that I'm the saddest about is like can people stop calling me so many people have been calling me is this the wait is this the guy that the loan officer guy oh no this is the loone officer guy oh my God I'm literally in tears right now hello it is hours later I'm making the meatballs that I made last week they're a hot honey meatball I saw the recipe on Tik Tok this is them they're like chicken meatballs cuz I think turkey like round turkey is disgusting and then this is the sauce so basically I made half of it on Monday there wasn't enough room in my pan to finish it all up so I just put half of it away and then I have half the sauce here which you can't see I did a couple things turns out it looks like I can buy that condo which scares me in the situation that I'm in don't know if it's a really dumb decision ultimately I will have made the decision by the time this video goes up the lender that called me was saying that he can I don't really understand home stuff okay he says that he has a lot more people that he can lend from there's some people that will it makes me nervous for like a multitude of reasons of like selling in the future and you know all that type of stuff but aside from the point we will see if I end up buying that house or that condo or not who knows I emailed the lady who works in HR I need to switch over my insurance but they haven't submitted the paperwork that I was like terminated or laid off I don't know the correct termination terminology for it and they need to submit it so I can switch over my insurance cuz I have my Accutane appointment next week and I need insurance cuz I don't want to pay out of pocket for that cuz I you know have a less stream of income I've been like trying to write out thank you notes for the people that I work with and it's really making me emotional and so I keep having to start and stop I'm like I'm not very far it and it's hard cuz one of them I feel like I can be like gushy and mooey not that I'm trying to be but the other one like for my boss that was a guy like I want to be like really Express to him how much I appreciate him but I almost feel like it's like weird to show that kind of like affection and appreciation towards like a male older figure you know like it's just like it's different you know it's a different type of relationship about to start crying again oh my God I swear I only start crying when I talk out loud so that's where I'm at right now this week is just going to be me just kind of easing into it and then also one of my co-workers just texted me and she said are you hiding in the office or are you working from home today lol cuz I'm not there and I can't tell anyone until my company tells me it's okay to talk to people about it cuz they you know they want to tell people first so I'm like ghosting her pretty much and I feel horrible about it I feel bad I feel like an [ __ ] and I know like I'm not doing it on purpose like it's not my fault the company laid me off and then told me I wasn't allowed to tell anyone and I was you know like I had an Irish goodbye but like it just I don't feel good about it I don't want to be mean I don't want her thinking that I'm like ignoring her honestly I wonder cuz they like immediately removed my teams and stuff so I wonder if like see I in my mind I'm like what is everyone's like are people noticing that like my teams like if she try to teams message me and then I wasn't showing up in that like you know like the these are the things that I think about I guess it doesn't really matter though cuz I don't work there anymore but I do feel bad if people are thinking that I'm ghosting them back to my food this is sriracha honey garlic it was supposed to be white wine vinegar but I didn't have any so put rice vinegar cuz I don't really know the difference and I think that was it right I hope so oh and some soy sauce and then the chicken I didn't really follow it exactly the way that I should have but it was just chicken seasonings and then I did onion in it which it was supposed to be green onion and I bought a white onion which totally are the same thing I'm just kidding this is them I love a little meat thermometer moment is this ready I think it's going to be ready what do we I think 165 is our goal it's slowing down okay that one's ready most of these are ready so I'm going to put the sauce in and it will like thicken up a little bit with the heat and then these will still cook while it [Applause] thickens so the sauce is very liquidy right now but as the heat I'm going to turn the heat on medium it's going to start bubbling and then kind of thickening into like a little syrupy kind of consistency and that's what I'm personally going for yum you can kind of see it starting to Bubble that's what we're going for we don't want it to burn but then once it kind of turns like thicker see how like when I move it it's still kind of liquidy but it'll thicken up a little bit and ideally the goal is when I scrape it it stays so like it doesn't fill in that scrape area I just typed up and sent all of my thank you emails and text messages to the people on my team it actually took me hours it took me so long I just kept like rereading it and being like no that's like weird no that's not what I'm trying to say that's not doesn't get the point across that's not like AE like that doesn't sound appreciative enough but I sent them um it did make me cry sending them I I really loved the team that I worked on I I feel like I'm kind of like a broken record in this vog but I really valued them a lot and I really looked up to them as mentors and as Role Models not only as like a boss or a colleague but also just as people I really valued who they were as people I hear a lot of people talk about how they don't like the people they work with and I just like that wasn't the case for me I really enjoyed the people I worked with and I think I've said this like that's the part that I'm no sad about is not being able to work with them in the future I sent them all I only sent the ones to people who I had their numbers or their emails and my CMO who whenever I say CMO some people are like what does that I mean chief marketing officer who is the head of marketing who's like she reports to the CEO she reached out to me again like really emphasized like it had nothing to do with me and my performance or anything like that it just had everything to do with the company and it was unfortunate that I was impacted by it and I sent her a really nice message too and she said that I was a class act when she responded to my nice message which made me feel very good I didn't want to leave on a negative note I didn't feel negatively about these people I didn't want to be someone like you know like flowing blowing up flames and like leaving negative reviews on glass door like I didn't feel that way about the people I worked with at the end of the day your experience at company is who you work with it's very unfortunate I I keep thinking this and like I don't want it to be me who gets laid off but at the same time I am fortunate that out of anyone like it is me because I do have a backup source of income although it's not like going to sustain me for the rest of my life and I do want to find another job like I feel like this job should we go into this I don't I don't know if I I can't even remember what I've talked about or what I haven't cuz I feel like I blacked out like in yesterday and kind of this morning too getting this job was try me trying to figure out what I want to do with my life did I want to do social media fulltime did I want to have like a traditional career and it really showed me that that is what I want there is a huge part of me that's like do I actually want a traditional career or did I just like the people I worked with what if I don't like the people I work with in the future will I still feel that way no no no Keegan it does show me that it is something that I want I just have to find the right environment for it to be in you know but I do feel really fortunate and like this is something that I like really Express to the people that I worked with I feel really fortunate for all that I learned from them I wish that I was able to learn more cuz I could only learn so much in 6 months but the short amount of time that I worked there I felt like I gained a lot of knowledge and I said this to one person but I feel like I gained like technical knowledge but I feel like I also gained a lot of skills about like professionalism and how to treat people and difficult situations and how to have empathy and it really showed me that in the future I'm sure hopefully cross I will maybe be in a manager position and have people who were under me and it really showed me the way that I would want to model that type of like managerial relationship and how I want to treat people and what to expect from them and how I want to coach them and Mentor them the way that the people I worked with did for me because I was the lowest level on our team cuz this was like my first job out of college it does suck it really does suck I feel like there's this huge part of me that like still hasn't processed that this is happening and like I think that like oh on Tuesday I'll just go back that's not clearly happening but in my mind it's still like I feel like it hasn't really set in I have to like go back through the interview process and like update my resume and all of that stuff but every single person that I worked with that I talked to they all offered to write me a letter of recommendation one one person my boss wrote me a letter of recommendation and he sent it to me before I even drove home yesterday like before I was even at home I got the email that he wrote for me and it was a very very nice letter of recommendation so I feel like I go through different phases of how I feel about it I feel like I'm starting to cry again and I need to knock that [ __ ] off but right now the feeling that I'm feeling a about it is just gratitude for the experience there is going to be like worry anxiety about like finding a new job but that's not a right now problem that's a mon the Sunday scaries are about to be freaking scary cuz that's what I'm going to have to next week is what I'm going to have to like kind of jump back into all of it I'm very happy the way that I chose to exit and the way that I handled it in the office when I kind of like froze I didn't really say much I was just kind of like silent and I did my Irish goodbye that I was supposed to do like I didn't like make a scene that's not really type of person I am either and I'm very thankful that like I was able to that the people who I worked with actually reached out to me and they were very nice and I was able to express that gratitude towards them keep just telling myself that everything happens for a reason I really do appreciate that all of them have been like very validating in the fact that it had nothing to do with my work performance or me as a person or anything like that like I really appreciate that cuz like those thoughts like keep right in the back of your mind you're like well they say this but like was it actually like could I have done something different and like I I do really appreciate like even the fact the CMO like my boss's boss you know like she really emphasized me that it was nothing about my work ethic my performance anything like that which makes me feel much much better so I have Pilates today and my skin is so dry I'm like oh my gosh I really need to clean my kitchen cuz it's kind of a mess can you see that can you see that all little bit little bit messy I think that one thing actually you know I guess we're not going to clean right away we're going to keep talking cuz I'm just a little chatter box Yap Central I'm worried about my routine I really loved working that job cuz I love the routine that it provided for my life I loved that so much I that was one of my favorite things about that job was the routine that it gave me and I know other jobs will have routines I'm worried for this time that I'm like I don't want to say like unemployed because like I'm making money but like I don't have a traditional employment job so I don't really know what to call myself um searching for a job in the time that I'm searching for a job I'm really worried about the not having a routine aspect of it and so that's something that I guess in this time I will try to figure out and work on I also feel like really shitty cuz I can't tell you guys about it yet and I'm like when can I when can I tell people you know like please let me know cuz I just feel like like I'm not trying to hide it from you guys I'm just like legally not allowed to talk about it obviously when I post this video I will be legally allowed to talk about [Music] it hello and happy Thursday everybody right now I am editing one of my Vlogs I am going back to the life of a full-time influencer hopefully I won't be having this life for that long um cuz I don't really enjoy it but I don't want to sound negative I don't want to be complaining this is such a privilege just long time this is not my goal um but I am editing I've made like I'm trying to make these like morning routine videos on Tik Tok follow me on Tik Tok if you guys are curious updates from today I did look on LinkedIn to see if anyone is hiring I'm not going to start adjusting my resume until Monday that's what I told myself I I think I already said the Sunday scary is about it at be Sunday scaring but there are some jobs honestly not a lot it's just really hard I keep saying this I feel like I sound like a broken record in this Vlog I really liked my last job so finding something that's like better I think will be hard hopefully not impossible I actually got a message from somebody that I worked with it seems like they haven't told anybody they haven't like maybe announcement to the company that they're doing layoffs cuz they told me that they would tell people someone that I worked with sent me a really nice message over LinkedIn and I really appreciated that the woman that works in HR did finally contact me back about like being able to send me over like a letter of termination or something that I can just like submit to an insurance company cuz I need insurance so thankfully I really appreciate that she did that I worked out this morning I think one thing that I'm trying to reframe my mindset to be very positive about this and I'm sure as time goes on it will probably get increasingly more negative and anxiety ridden one thing that I really want to do is not share my anxiety as much last time when I was applying for jobs like I feel like I was just very candid about how I was feeling very anxious about it and a lot of people were like Keegan stop that like you're giving me secondhand anxiety which totally bid so I think that not that I want to hide my emotions cuz I want to be real through this process but maybe just not that level I don't know I I need to find a balance of it where I'm still being real and authentic and not pretending like everything's butterflies and rainbows but not like projecting my anxiety into a camera so I'll be more intentional about that this time around going back to being self-employed at this time will give me a lot more free time to like do like things that I couldn't necessarily do when I worked in an office like I could go to the gym in the middle of the day I could lay on intan during lunch I could run errands have a appointments and not be so stressed about it so that's something that I'm trying to be very intentional about reframing the way that I view this time of my life cuz I know that it won't be permanent um update about that house there is a possibility of me still getting that condo I don't know if that's stupid or not I think I feel like I'm just s a broken record cuz honestly I have blacked out this entire past week I don't remember anything that's happened I don't remember anything that I've talked about I'm still able to get that condo if I want it hopefully fingers crossed and I keep going back in my mind of like is this a really stupid decision or is this not because this is the thing that I have to keep in mind and that I think people keep giving me advice and they're not thinking about this in mind my apartment lease ends in June April 25th so less than a month from today I need to tell my apartment if I'm going to resign my lease for another year or if I'm going to cancel it going month-to month is not an option because that is double the price of my rent I will not be paying double the price of my rent essentially my options are pick this condo choose another condo or resign my lease at this apartment and wait another year and I have no idea what housing prices will look like in a year if they'll be more expensive if like nobody can look into a crystal ball and tell you what the next year is going to look like I really really wish we could that would have been amazing but that is why I'm not like pausing it and just being like Oh in a couple months from now when I get a job I can look that's not really an option for me with the way that my lease is cuz it very strict and if I try to get out of my lease at leas is here I don't know for you guys live there like this it's very frustrating and I understand why they do it but I can't get out of my lease if I wanted to get out of my lease I have to pay the full term of the lease so let's say I resign a month later I find a place I still have to pay 11 months to get out of that lease or or if I want to go month to month double my rent every single month that's just not an option for me so cuz I know that there would be questions about that of like why don't you just wait unfortunately waiting is not really an option which really sucks but it is what it is and that's okay hopefully everything works out in just every sense of it um me getting a job me getting this condo I truly believe and I really have to keep sticking to this like everything happens for a reason like there are so many decisions in the past that I keep thinking about of like if I made that decision would I be in the scenario that I am right now probably not and I have to be okay with that although it's hard maybe if I chose that situation something would have gone bad who knows like you can't really know how things were going to turn out so I just keep having to like live in that mindset even though it's rough but I'm going to go back to editing this video I need to reframe my thinking because right now I think this is really embarrassing Monday earlier this week I was thinking about like what is it going to be like in the summer going into the office because it's really hot in Arizona and I feel like I don't really own any clothes that are like light and Airy but like still office appropriate so I was doing a buer of research on clothes that I could wear into the office in the summer and I bought some on Monday and then I was laid off on Tuesday I'm trying to reframe my thinking of like that's not embarrassing it's not you know maybe I'll be working a job I don't know like there's so many like questions too about the unknown of like where will I be working will I go into the office 5 days a week will it be hybrid will be remote will there be a dress code will be more strict will it be less like there's so many questions that I have in so many unknowns so I'm not sure if I'm going to keep these things or not but I'll show you guys what I got it's very similar to something that I already own but I got two bodysuits there I B exact same thing one is white and one is black and they you guys have seen me wear like kind of like the they like high neckline just like black and white bodysuits I got them in a square neck if you guys can see can you see the square neck because I was like oh like this is great because those tops that are high neck I kind of feel like they make like my chest sweat a lot cuz there's like no air flow and these I was like oh that'll be perfect like I love the look of like a bodysuit in trousers I feel like it's classic it's simple it goes with everything so I got it in white and in black um but I won't be going into the office so I don't know um I could wear it outside of the office I could wear it for my next job if I get one which I'm sure I will eventually lot it in buy more clothes I also have this I have no idea what this is this is from [Applause] Muse ooh this is cool packaging Passion by Dixie demilio what is this inspired soda I did not know Dixie deia came out with soda oh my God she totally did I think these are passion fruit flavors this is sick Packaging thank you so much to Muse and Dixie [Music] demilio [Music] I

Channel: Keegan Acton

Views: 105,431

Keywords: i got laid off, lay off, laid off, work week in my life vlog, 9-5 work week in my life, work week in my life 9-5, work week in my life corporate, work week vlog, work week in my life office, corporate work week in my life, weekly vlog, 9-5 work vlog, work week in my life, 9-5 work week vlog, 9-5 work day in my life, 9-5 work week, 9-5 work week in my life in marketing, full time job week in my life, work week in my life in marketing, laid off from job, laid off from work, az

Id: JHG2_V3wwhw

Length: 39min 13sec (2353 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 08 2024