Women, What Are The BEST Pick UP Lines That ACTUALLY Work? (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit what is the best way you've seen a guy hit on a girl the reason that this is so great is because my buddy was so blackout drunk at this point and the two of us watching him thought he was hitting on this girl but it turned out to be so much better so my buddy has had a rough night at this point and continued to pound beer after beer for long after the bartender should have recognized he'd reached his limit and cut him off I'm sober in the needy and we finally get him outside and walking to the car in a very slow and assisted way it is very late in the night everything is pretty much dead at this point but there just so happens to be this group of three decent looking girls on the sidewalk obstructing our planned route my buddy stops and steps up to the bleach-blonde of the group far past the border of the comfort zone and making solid eye contact we quickly try to persuade him to keep moving without a problem but he's not having it as he can barely comprehend anything we say to him at this point the two of us helping him apologize and assure the girls that he's just very drunk but completely harmless instead of reacting with any understanding being decently polite or appropriately trying to resolve the situation the girls starting talking [ __ ] amongst their little clique immediately as if the three of us are invisible my buddy has not moved in the slightest nor is in any way deterred he speaks remarkably clearly albeit slowly and says what's the difference between your hair and gold great he's already wasting our time by hitting on this girl and with nothing better than a cheesy pickup line they start to walk away muttering some rude nonsense about him but he reacts and slowly follows in their general direction before yelling gold is real [ __ ] I don't even know if he was trying to be funny but the two of us with him bursts into unexpected laugher the next day when we told him this story he informed us that this is not a joke he's ever heard before nor does he have any clue of its possible origin or what coal have inspired it he did however laugh quite hard at it while more than likely embarrassed about the night as a whole I know he reflected on that with some pride this will definitely get buried but I'd like to share it all the same the names have been changed as she is definitely a redditor but I'll keep the numbers the same so she may end up recognizing it all the same a few years back I had a roommate with a girlfriend and I always told them that I wanted to build this weird sort of relationship with a random girl in my building we would see each other smile she now I thought she was cute I'd hoped for the same this would go on for some time and then eventually we talk and end up happily ever after anyways one night I picked him up from the bar with his girlfriend and we get in the elevator with this really cute blonde girl I said hi I'm George and hit the 7th floor button while saying 7 she said hi I'm George in a 22 and I hit the twenty second floor button for her we rode up in silence with my roommate and his GF kind of smiling about it because they knew this was the girl I had been dreaming about when we got off the elevator my roommates girlfriend said what are you doing that's the girl and I kind of got caught up in things and forgot about how I wanted to be a bit coy too swept up so I sprinted the 15 stories to her place but alas I was no match for the elevator and she was long gone I came downstairs back to my place and found my roommate and his GF being all cute and stuff it was unbearable I couldn't let this girl slip away I ended up writing her a note saying dear George in a 22 this is George 7 I think you're really cute I didn't know which apartment was hers so I left it on the console where you call the elevator the next day I came home to a note from her saying dear George 7 I think you're pretty cute too where do we go from here seeing as I wanted this to be special I couldn't just meet up with her or give her my phone number so I started a game pf' hangman with her she would guess the numbers to my number and I would fill in the blanks when she was one number away she went through and called all of them to find my number so I set up a date with her I filled the elevator with rose petals had a trail leading into my apartment with wine / candles snacks set up on my balcony she came in and we chatted for a while I was sooo nervous about finally meeting her after all this build-up but she was great and things went well I still had one more thing up my sleeve though I had spent all day sneaking fireworks out into and hiding them in the abandoned lot next to our building I use this line I had been practicing about there being fireworks between us pressed my remote detonator and then nothing I was out of range as I was right at the edge of the remote range got into range led off this massive show it was like five minutes long right in the middle of my city came back got my kiss so in HS I had a good friend who could talk this guy could keep the conversation going with anyone about anything and he wasn't bad with the ladies either tall reasonably good-looking and funny he was basically the male teenage version of stassi's mom anyway we stopped at a McDonald's in the sticks one night I know McDonald's but here is this cute little blonde girl I'm not going to say she was a 10 but she was definitely worth our time probably a solid 88.5 the worst part of this whole story was that we were in our other friends mom's minivan not exactly a shaggin wagon I'm riding shotgun and the talker is in the back so he can stretch his legs out we are sitting in the parking lot eating and who should be getting off her shift but cute blonde he calls her over and since we are out where nobody knows us proceeds to be a bit more forward than usual it wasn't overly raunchy by any means but asking for a little full chest or nudity I know you'll all be surprised to find that she declined several times but she was humoring us and just laughed at his obviously hormone driven solicitations my other friend and I kept quiet because we weren't really as smooth normally and it was amusing to watch him get shot down it always was after about 5 to 10 minutes of this dude bleeding she finally says well boys sorry but I gotta go I don't know what happened or what switch in my mind was thrown but right then I blurt it out but you can't leave without giving me a kiss goodnight this was so far out of the norm for me that time slowed as I was sure I just rammed my foot so far into my mouth I'd lose two shoe sizes trying to take it out I was mortified she turned though quickly and gave me a kiss that felt a lot longer than I'm sure it was but it was good we finished the kiss and she pulls back and says my name is crystal you should call me sometime I scrambled for a pen and got that number it wasn't the most glorious line ever and it didn't develop into anything serious but it was the first time in my then young life that I had ever had game and that was glorious so I've always been socially challenged when it comes to the opposite sex I'm in my calculus class in college when I noticed one of my classmates is this gorgeous girl wanting to initiate conversation with this girl but not knowing how I go to the only person I can think of for advice on the subject my roommate after telling him about my dilemma he tells me the story of how he started a conversation with his own girlfriend he told me basically I just thought of some random word like elephants and said hi when she said hi back I then thought to myself well no turning back now the next day I saw her walking in front of me as we were exiting class so I put my roommates advice into action and repeated the word elephants in my head a whole bunch until I walked up to her and said hi she looked up at me and said hi back to which I started panicking and thought oh [ __ ] what do I do elephants elephants elephants elephants I then asked her so euhh what's your name she then told me her name and after some awkward attempts at small talk she smiles looks at me and says do you wanna get lunch after processing what she just said I respond with something like I um M yi sure after said lunch and getting her number I walk triumphant ly into my dorm room where I find my roommate laying on his bed he looks at me and says you [ __ ] [ __ ] where the [ __ ] have you been I've texted you like 10 times asking if you wanted to get lunch after checking my phone and confirming that he indeed texted me asking to get lunch I told him about my lunch date to which he replied dude that [ __ ] rocks sorry about being pissed at you I completely understand how did you ask her I then told him that I just thought of elephants to which he bursted out laughing and said that [ __ ] worked I pulled that whole elephants bid out my ass TL DR using some bogus advice I got a girl to ask me to lunch at least that's the way I like to look at it one time a few friends and I went to a new club the place was packed and there was nowhere for the four of us to sit my friends wanted to leave but I was determined to chill at this place so I checked out the scene and found a table half empty currently occupied by four really hot ladies they looked pretty chill so I told my best friend to have a couple shots and give me a few minutes and when I give the sign he should casually stroll over and ask me what I'm doing he gave me the yeah right man look I took a shot smiled and walked over to the group of ladies and asked if they minded if I sat down the one next to me smiled and said sure you can I sat down and thanked them all I introduced myself to them and then I turned and looked a square in the eyes and said look I'm going to level with you I think that you are the most beautiful women in this place and I just wanted to find out if your personality matched your beauty she blushed and her friends jaws dropped she thanked me but also said in a flirty way that I was full of [ __ ] and that I probably said that to all the girls I told her no actually if you asked my friends they would say that I'm brutally honest almost to a fault she still wasn't buying it but played along we started some small talk and I included her friends into our conversation and before you knew it we were all laughing and having a good old time about five minutes went by since I sat down and I nonchalantly motioned to my buddy to come over he comes by with the others and asks what I was doing I smiled and told that I was working on getting him laid at the moment they all started laughing and my friend sat down the girl I had been talking to remarked on my confidence and I told her that I just knew what I liked and I was always direct so she eventually asks my buddy what I was really like he looks at me and starts talking me up saying how nice of a guy I am and a bunch of other BS I have roughly stopped him and said no tell her the truth man he is the most honestly harsh guy I have ever met but he is still pretty cool no one at that table went home alone that night this one worked as it got me into bed that night with one of the hottest women that I've ever laid she was also the sort that at the age of 29 had only ever had sex with one other person her ex that she was engaged to they were to be married then he went to Iraq and got killed rip dude so my best friend is in the midst of a brutal divorce this is the fourth time they've split up because she's [ __ ] her boss one a random Tuesday night he calls me and wants to hit the bars where we live the bars are quite empty on most weeknights so I'm not really feeling it I know he's down in the dumps cause of the divorce so I agree we hit a few bars and it's dead no real prospects for him to get laid so we keep bouncing to the next bar one bar is having an open mic jam night we see some cars so we stop him inside as a few long-haired musician types and two tables pushed together full of women out on a ladies night I assume most of them were there just to bang one of the musicians we grabbed a spot at the bar and order a beer we are talking about his ex when he makes the comment that he needs some [ __ ] because his ex is getting some dick he walks to the table full of women I'm like okay great I decide to give him enough time to scope it before joining them and then I see him bolt out the door on his phone a couple of the girls know him and chase after him telling him not to talk to her so I give chase about the time I take the phone and hang it up this hot girl walks out the bar talking to her friend and says I'll never let another man make me cry I looked at her and said pee 50 I'll make you cry and just walk away we proceeded to join them at their tables the hot girl went to the bathroom and when she returns she tells me that I have one beer to explain my comment and if I don't she will never talk to me again I order her a beer and look at her and my only remark is because I'm [ __ ] worth it she started me and I caught her I briefly before looking up at one of the TVs showing some highlights when I look back she sparks up some conversation later that night I'm at her place ripping off her clothes funny side bar here my buddy knew one of her friends and that girl is hot and known to be easy they joined us briefly to afterparty we are on her sofa making out she is in his lap of the recliner making out then I hear this I'm not going to [ __ ] you and be a rebound my buddy looks over at me and then tells her well bring me home I don't know if it counts but here's one I went to college thousands of miles from home first day in the dorm I spent looking at the wall feeling sorry for myself second day I went to a mall on the bus that I hate mails so I ended up in an arcade playing skee-ball yes I'm that old for those that don't know it's a game where you win tickets which you can then trade in for useless crap the crap I got was a stuffed sheep about the size of a small loaf of bread I then go home and cry myself to sleep out of loneliness next day I wake up classes still hadn't started and decide to meet people on a whim I take the stuffed sheep and tire string to it I went down to the common area and sat down near a wall and then threw the sheep out so it was just around the corner first girl walks up and looks at the sheep and looks at me I pull the string she gets a funny look on her face and says what are you doing I said I'm fishing for friends she just laughed and walked off second girl who comes by picks up the Sheep and I pulled it out of her hands she laughs and asks what I'm doing I say I'm fishing for friends she says you should just try talking to them I said what do you think we are doing we went to lunch dated for a while it was awesome funniest thing though I married the first girl TL DR all you need is an excuse to start talking edit okay so marrying the first girl is a story novel epic in itself but alas it has nothing to do with a sheep on a string true that is the way we met but we we met as it were sorry if it looked like a great cliffhanger I just look back with amusement thinking she was the first person I met when I left home like a HIMYM plot in other words it ain't that I'm not delivering it's that the pizza wasn't ordered for what it's worth the whole sheep on a string thing was a conversation starter for a long time most of the people I became friends with would tell that story or asked me about it I did it on a whim but I think it was just the right amount of crazy you know cute but not creepy if I tried to tell all the stories that came about indirectly related to that damn sheep you'd pretty much have to live three years of my life sorry but thanks for the love and the gold stranger in my university days I was an overconfident sod one of my best pickups was in a nightclub several drinks in feeling confident and wanting to find a girl to talk to and get to know I see an attractive girl sitting alone checking her phone seemingly bored and desperately hoping for someone like me ash to come along as I walk over another guy sits down The Audacity how could he not know from my Zoolander like walk that I was to engage with her in pleasant conversation this needed to be rectified ' did you fight him I hear you say I did not ' did you wait til she rejected him I did not I did however pretend to be her brother yes that old chestnut i sat down next to her interrupting the awkwardness of this guy's opening chat I must caveat that she seemed in no way interested in him at the time and so I made the reasonable assumption that she'd find me more enjoyable harsh his immediate reaction was that of great disdain for my actions how dare I trespass while he delivers his AGame the girl wasn't too bothered though more intrigued as to what I was playing at them excuse me mate you lost me no all good thanks how about you then can we help you we are talking so if you don't mind disappear me oh not at all I'm her brother please continue putting my arm around the back of her chair at this point I'm expecting the girl to call me out but she turns to look at me and smiles validating my approach Tim oh um so sorry mate I'm Phil I was just talking to hasn't asked her name yet rookie me Sophie she looked like a Sophie Tim Sophie what she's studying Phil spent the next 20 minutes trying to become my best friend however things just became more and more awkward for poor Phil asking questions like so what made you want to talk to my sister how do you feel about one-night stands how many girls have you slept with this semester I was quite mean then I decided enough was enough ' sophie was giggling and enjoying the entertainment Phil was not I decided to wrap things up me Phil deal find my sister attractive Phil um ha well yeah she's really pretty me stunning isn't she probably an 8 or a 9 Phil yeah getting a bit creeped out me don't you just want to kiss her at this point I turn to her to gauge the reaction I wink she smiles she's in I lean in and kiss her - Phil's absolute disgust the guy doesn't know what to do with himself discomfort has been taken to a new level as we finish our kiss I watch as it finally clicks with Phil confusion quickly into astonishment I could see his shoulders tightening wanting to get angry but then he did something else he leaned over put his hand on my shoulder smiled and said well played got up and walked away leaving me to find out what's office ' real name was TL DR still a girl from under a guy's nose by pretending we were siblings edit Wow this grew overpass what a lovely surprise to wake up to see gold thank you he doesn't end in six it was one of the best nights of my college life and it actually was completely by accident I was down on myself just going through a rut in life and my friend who was a girl asked me to go to a bar it was a Wednesday night and not that I wanted to use that as an excuse I did I didn't feel like it she lived in my apartment and it was still a bit chilly in March and she said she didn't want to walk alone to the bar after some coaxing I finally obliged and walked her to the bar she was planning on meeting her girlfriends at the bar when we got there there were like seven to eight girls that were there with me being the only guy of the group suddenly I was getting the attention of these single girls if you didn't guess it I was single to the girl I walked to the bar with bought me a drink as a way to say thank you I appreciated the drink but was planning on leaving soon after she convinced me to stay I normally shy around girls but I guess because I had little to no expectation of the night talking to each one of them seemed easy and I was very relaxed call it alcohol or whatever but all the girls were chatting me up and pulling me onto the dance floor I don't dance but that's not relevant to the story my friend who is not the purpose of this story tells me all the girls are so glad she brought me and I was such a fun guy she tried to get me out on the dance floor but I took a break and sat down meanwhile this absolutely beautiful long blonde haired blue-eyed girl sits down next to me I do one of those glances then another longer one but my shyness gets the better of me and I just go back to my drink and watching the dancefloor she taps me and says in a condescending voice so I'm just curious why you've been chatting and dancing with them all night but had ignored me I was kind of surprised because I didn't actually realize the whole time she was with the group of girls that my friend was with this girl sat kind of off to the side standoffish listening to the band most of the time plus my friend I walked to the bar introduced me to pretty much everyone but not I had a few beers and shots in me my shyness depleting and confidence rising I said because I didn't want to get in the way of the mighty horse you rode in on she gave me a shot look but wasn't deterred she says I'm ELISA I'm Jim while my friend and the girls were dancing the night away to the band I sat and talked with Lisa for the next two hours finding out she was a drummer but was really shy to play in public I told her no problem I know the band I did not know the band but with the liquid courage in me and already the night exceeding my expectations I asked one of the band members if my friend Lisa could join them on stage for a bit to play drums they said sure when they came back from break they called out to the bar for ISA for a drum solo Lisa freaked out but I held her hand and walked her up to the stage and told her if she is that good she could close her eyes and play I kid you not she reluctantly agreed she only played maybe thirty Seconds but it was truly great afterwards she thanked me for doing that even though she wanted to smack me at the time at the beginning of the night I only planned to stay for a drink and leave but wound up closing the bar with Lisa and some of the other girls as the other girls parted ways I walked Lisa home I said this was one of the best nights of my life well she leaned in to kiss me amazing kiss the night ended and unfortunately she transferred shortly after that I was hoping to date her but never happened still one of the best nights of my life thank you so much for watching please like and subscribe the channel

Channel: Slime King

Views: 10,408

Rating: 4.8471336 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, askreddit funny, askreddit scary, reddit top posts, askreddit comedy, comment awards, askreddit, top posts, dankify reddit, brainydude reddit, tz reddit, r/, askreddit creepy stories, toadfilms, reddit and chill, middle school, middle school cringe, teacher, pupil, parrents, tantrum, askreddit friends, askreddit secrets, askreddit parents, family secrets, askreddit kids

Id: VpbPPuTd8DY

Length: 23min 48sec (1428 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 27 2019