Woman Shares Journey Through Alcoholism: 'I Am A Mom In Recovery' | TODAY

I kept it under control for a very little while and I'm hiding alcohol in my closet in my boots so that my husband won't find am i hiding it in the laundry room and it was just crazy real fast I'm Dana Bowman I'm a mom and a wife and a recovering alcoholic I didn't drink in high school I wasn't that much of a drinker even in college my 20s was when finally I started to sort of drink even socially and or on my own fast forward until I get married and that first year of marriage was really tough it is normally anyhow but then slap on top of that moving finding a new job and having a major separation anxiety from my home and my family I started to get really really stressed out my drinking started to increase exponentially and then I had children and that's when the rubber met the road I just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin especially as a parent I didn't have that glowy maternal vibe from day one these little babies that I'm in charge of I don't know how to do this and I certainly don't know how to do it perfectly which was my whole thing there's a play date at our church on Wednesdays and I can remember going to that and all the other moms are chattering away about fun mother topics like mastitis and teething and all the great stuff I'm just sort of sitting there leaning against the wall thinking I'm sick to my stomach I don't want to be here I probably smell like booze this isn't right at that time I finally got on Facebook and started doing the mom thing with Facebook and one of the things that I first noticed is that there were these groups for moms but so many of them had like drinking and or wine is kind of the label for them I initially used it a lot for advice but what I got instead was just an overload of memes about moms drinking and mommy's playdate and in mommy's wine time if you combine wine with dinner than the new word is winter and I read an article that said if you drink every day you might be an alcoholic thank God I only drink every night that's her mommy drinks and swears the thing that I found that was so relieving to me at the time was that this whole drinking culture thing became very I want to say like kind of modified she's got a normal mom life but she's the drinker now that to me was another little moment where I'm like oh this isn't bad this isn't this is okay this is Norma fied once my children ruined it was like all bets were off we were on to like two or three glasses a day then half a bottle and it it just went really fast I tried to keep it under the radar but I always knew especially because I have a father who's in recovery that there were some little red flags fluttering at me with my drinking I was starting to have pain in my lower back from liver issues I was starting to feel just bloated and sick my body was breaking down but more than anything it was just my soul I just wanted to die I kept drinking but here's what I did because this is smart I said alright I'll quit but I'm gonna wait till Monday and I went out and I decided that I was gonna have one last weekend I poured myself one glass on Friday to start my weekend off with a bang I took one sip and it still just blows my mind I just dropped to the floor and crumpled I couldn't walk I couldn't talk I felt like I was dying right there I was so inebriated and so drunk I can barely walk or move and it was from one sip I don't know how it happened I don't know physically what my body was doing at the time to to cause that reaction I feel like it was a spiritual moment and I said but I just I don't I don't want to go to rehab I don't want to go into recovery meetings I don't want to do any of that and then the next day I went to a meeting so [Music] when you get sober I mean it is hard enough you have to deal with your own crap but then you have these other two little you know chaos creators around you and you're constantly trying to deal with that hey yours is almost ready chuckles at the same time I have to say in many ways those children were a blessing in the sense that they were a distraction from my own misery irony is so funny isn't it back when I was trying to be such a perfect and wonderful mom that's when I was really the horrible mom you cannot listen to mom guilt you have to just kick it out and say sober mom is better sober mom that yells at her kids is better sober fat mom because she eats every chocolate bar within a four-state region still better sober mom who feeds them non-organic boxed mac and cheese that glows because it's so orange still better mom guilt does not have any say grab a straw honey for me thanks when she was able to admit her addiction and face it I was extremely proud of her and you've definitely matured and grown as a woman and a mother and a wife writing is a big part of my recovery I have to write about where I am and what I'm feeling in terms of my recovery because I get it out there it helps me stay accountable and it helps remind me where it was where I am now I'm where I want to be I'm getting daily emails for moms I just finished your book I just read your blog post I just read your article thank you thank you thank you thank you me too it's not just me I think that's what a lot of moms fear that we fear that we're going to be judged because who wouldn't judge a mom with kids like what's your problem you have children you need to step it up I think that actually feeds into the drinking you know we feel so awful for being awful and then we can get more awful when I quit drinking I didn't know how to listen anymore I was afraid to I was afraid because I would hear things such as you're the worst mother and you were never gonna get better well I try what is the point but when I started to listen to that girl the one with the shoulders that shook with tears and anger she looked right back at me and in a still small voice I heard her say I am still here I think that this taught me not to be so afraid has taught me that I'm not alone I have a unit that's backing me up watching my husband go through this experience with me has been inspiring I was the hot mess for a long time and he's stuck with me and I will be grateful to him forever for that you know they call it sobriety being sober that just sounds awful like it's just so it's so sober boring and I'm not I'm goofy and I am funny and I I love life if you're not gonna laugh then you can cry and I'm not gonna waste my life crying I did enough of that and done with that [Music] hello today fans thanks for checking out our YouTube channel subscribe by clicking that button down there and click on any of the videos over here to watch the latest interviews show highlights and digital exclusives

Channel: TODAY

Views: 122,256

Keywords: The TODAY Show, TODAY Show, TODAY, NBC, NBC News, Celebrity Interviews, TODAY Show Recipes, TODAY Show Interview, Ambush Makeover, Kathie Lee and Hoda, KLG and Hoda, Lifestyle, Health, Big News, Today Originals, Walk in My Shoes, Woman Journey Through Alcoholism, Dana Bowman, alcoholism recovery, addiction recovery, dana bowman story, addiction recovery videos, addiction recovery documentary, alcoholism recovery stories, Woman Recovery Through Alcoholism, Dana Bowman Recovery

Id: 7_kZup8J1O4

Length: 8min 29sec (509 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 06 2018