Witty Wisdom - A Compilation of W.C. Fields' Iconic Quotes

experience the wit of Comedy Legend WC Fields from Timeless Classics to Hidden gems enjoy Unforgettable quotes and quips that showcase his comedic genius so sit back relax and let the laughter begin I am free of all Prejudice I hate everyone equally you can fool some of the people some of the time and that's enough to make a decent living if you can't Dazzle them with Brilliance baffle them with bull it ain't what they call you it's what you answer to trust everybody but cut the cards yourself I never voted for anybody I always voted against it's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money it's not what a man knows that makes him a fool it's what he does know that ain't so I am known in some places for my charm but I'm a known felon in all of them comedy is nearly tragedy happening to someone else start every day off with a smile and get it over [Music] with horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face the clever cat eats cheese and breeds down rat holes with baited [Music] breath where there is a will there's Prosperity around the corner if pigs had wings they would be pigeons the world is getting to be such a dangerous place a man is lucky to get out of it alive I spend half my money on gambling alcohol and wild women the other half I wasted money will not buy happiness but it will let you be unhappy in nice places if at first you don't succeed try try again then quit there's no point in being a damn fool about it I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it if you must have motivation think of your paycheck on Friday if I had to live my life again I'd make the same mistakes only [Music] sooner I never had a pair of shoes until I was 14 I bought them with the first money I ever earned all my available funds are completely tied up in cash I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42 never try to impress a woman because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life a man without a woman is like a neck without a pain a thing worth having is a Thing Worth cheating for [Music] ah the patter of little feet around the house there's nothing like having a for a butler yes I do like children girl children about 18 or 20 no man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it he thinks by making a dog play dead some people are born losers others Acquire The Knack gradually I used to be indecisive now I'm not so sure the laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves the only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother I am an expert of electricity my father occupied the chair of Applied electricity at the state prison buried my wife the other day had to she died I like my films to influence the audience even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home I am not a vegetarian because I love animals I am a vegetarian because I hate plants a rich man is nothing but a poor man with money [Music] alcoholic anybody who drinks more than I do everybody's got to believe in something I believe I'll have another beer reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol beer helping ugly people have sex since 300 BC always carry a flagen of whiskey in cas of snake bite and furthermore always carry a small snake I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the [Music] food I don't drink anymore on the other hand I don't drink any less either reminds me of my Safari in Africa somebody forgot the cork screw and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water Scotch need needs water like a fish needs a bicycle I only drink to steady my nerves sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months I exercise strong self-control I never drink anything stronger than Jin before breakfast my illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies I've been drun only once in my life but that lasted for 23 years oh insomnia I know a good cure for it get plenty of sleep I personally stay away from Natural Foods at my age I need all the preservatives I can get when doctors and Undertakers meet they wink at each other don't worry about your heart it will last you as long as you live I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine I didn't squawk about the steak I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here thanks for watching if you enjoyed what you saw please give us a thumbs up and hit that subscribe button to stay updated with our latest latest content and help our Channel grow stay curious stay inspired and see you in the next [Music] video

Channel: Zurogato

Views: 60,474

Keywords: quotes, funny quotes, WC Fields, zurogato

Id: 3DN_GjrfmrQ

Length: 7min 40sec (460 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2024