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what's up everybody it's critical today I was Googling [ __ ] just trying to learn some new things and I came across this weaky how article on how to stop children from masturbating in public I don't have a kid or anything but I still thought this was valuable information so I figured we could all learn here today together who knows this might even be the origin story to the next big superhero the [ __ ] new X-Men member the masturbator the only man capable of stopping children from jerking it and Toys are Us you know the newest member of The Avengers I'm sure so let's go ahead and just read this article here and figure out how we can stop this from happening step one allow your child some privacy and Independence everyone needs time alone children included and this kind of private time is when masturbation is generally appropriate however if they decide to masturbate right in front of you see Next Step what is next step put them up for adoption that's some [ __ ] nefarious [ __ ] right there if your kid just starts masturbating in front of you just at the dinner table hold on a second mom hases some great mashed potatoes stands up and starts beating his meat yeah what's up Dad how was work today some weird [ __ ] how often does that happen can't imagine that it happens so often that they have a second step ready I can't wait to see what it is step two prepare to have a discussion with your child don't confront them harshly or in a way that might make them close up or be ashamed of their actions if they're very young it's likely they don't realize what they're doing or what sexual implications it has so being understanding and gentle is key to how they'll view their sexuality in the future well this doesn't cover the [ __ ] emergency protocol needed for when my kid starts rubbing his magic lamp in front of me this is just some general parenting tips don't blow things out of proportion all right well I was overhyped from step one step three pick your timing carefully for younger children it'll feel most relevant to them if you bring it up when they're actually starting to masturbate if you wait until later they might not remember or realize what they were doing however with older children picking a quiet appropriate time is Key so bring it up when you both have time to talk about it I really like this picture they have here to represent this step the father's contemplating bringing up this subject now but his son looks absolutely miserable uh you know steuart's dog ran away today and he's just feeling really down in the dumps but I think now is the ideal time for the birds bees and beating of meat talk step four explain to them that there's nothing wrong with exploring their private areas I like that title right there it was actually my favorite episode of The Magic School Bus Miss Frizzle teaches the kids that there's nothing wrong with exploring their genitals the actions that they're actually taking aren't a problem just the location let them know that it's not appropriate to expose or touch their private parts in public or around other people so a private setting is a good idea that Mother looks like she's very angry at her son but her son's giving her a very strange look like he's jerking off under the table during this step five give them options rather than focusing on what they shouldn't do turn the discuss to what they can do explain to them that if they choose to masturbate they can do so in a private area such as in a bedroom or bathroom this is a great picture for this one the father's patting his son on the back son you finally becoming a man you're beating your meat just like your old man used to then he's like showing him a secret area of the house this is my masturbatory it's yours now son just [ __ ] handing him the keys like it's his 16th birthday and he just got a car step six be understanding and as age appropriate as possible with the discussion with older children this talk might lead to more questions about sex and sexuality so be open to hearing questions and providing honest answers about the acts and your family values surrounding them with younger children don't get more intense than they're ready for be honest but keep it simple for example you might just say touching there is okay but it's not okay to do that in class or when other people are in the room at home do you want to go to your room to take a break and do that damn has master ation evolved there people doing this in class and in the [ __ ] family room while watching a movie now this picture is pretty interesting the mother looks like this kid's head coach of the inter mural basketball team and she's on to what he's doing look son I see you fiddling around down there jerking your giring how about we go ahead and take a jerk off break everyone all right go to the locker rooms do your business and we'll come back and finish the game uh here we go the last step of this guide step seven realize that masturbation is generally normal but be wary of other sign that something is off or should I say getting off you know Common stuff it's a good joke it's a really good one actually if you notice your child masturbates constantly or to the point where they injure themselves tries to cause other children to masturbate or if you suspect someone has taught him or her to masturbate call a p a podiatrist yes please call the podiatrist his foot may be in trouble call a pediatrician or therapist as sexual abuse may have occurred somewhere you know growing up none of the other kids tried to persuade me to masturbate there wasn't like a one kid being the lightning rod for the Masturbation club recruitment yeah overall that's just solid advice well now we all know the seven crucial steps to stopping your child from masturbating in public what else can I find on wey how real quick how to master frustration I know many of you just read that and thought to yourselves who could possibly have trouble being frustrated well [ __ ] you not everyone's a big shot like you some people just can't get frustrated that easily but luckily this guide will teach you how to be the most frustrated miserable sad sack of [ __ ] on your block I can't tell you the number of times one of my friends has just confided in me look Charlie I just can't seem to get frustrated I'm just not good at it and then I'll tell them you know what go on Wei how it has a perfect guide on how to master it it'll turn you into the [ __ ] Incredible Hulk how to look pretty when you're in the fifth grade this doesn't apply for anyone in the sixth grade or below the fifth grade but if you're in the fifth grade this will tell you how to be pretty how to be a sexy teen girl it's truly what I've always wanted so I'm really glad I found this no more will I have to dress up as a sexy teen girl on Halloween thanks to this guide I can finally actually be a sexy teen girl so for anyone out there with dreams like mine it's not too late we can all still be sexy teen girls it's right here on Wei how

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Id: 6-vjSB6i4Uk

Length: 6min 22sec (382 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 14 2017