Why this is TERRIFYING

death doesn't scare me I didn't ask to be born life scares me life scares me because life is so meaningful let's give a very warm welcome to someone that I admire and consider a friend and a mentor Rabbi Madness Freeman [Applause] thank you rabbi so what are we talking about staying sane in an insane world so there was this guy in a stetal back in Europe who got it into his head that he was a chicken happens and all the people there could not budge him could not convince him that he was not a chicken and so finally one day A wise man came to town and said oh I'll take care of it soon they see this wise man in the chicken coop with this guy who thinks he's a chicken they're a little surprised by that but the guy who thinks he's a chicken was really surprised what are you doing here he says I'm a chicken too okay soon the chicken guy sees the wise man sitting up and eating a sandwich she runs over to him he said what are you doing you said you were a chicken he says where is it written that a chicken can eat a sandwich okay so he also ate a sandwich a while later he seems the wise man leaving the coop he says where are you going he doesn't want to take a shower this is like but you're a chicken where is it written that a chicken can't take a shower slowly step by step they were both behaving like a perfectly healthy normal human being but the chicken still thought he was a chicken who cares so sometimes the insanity is not the problem it's what you do with it you think you're a chicken maybe you are but where is it written that a chicken can't be a mensch so if we know how to be a mench all the insanities in the world won't won't disturb us so the craziness that's going on in the world today is because we don't have a plan of action we're not following the behavior of a mensch so it's not that we need all we all need to be sane that would be boring some of us need to be chickens but even if you're a chicken why can't you act like a mensch and this is something that modern psychology needs to implement a little more oh my God he thinks he's a chicken so what so what everybody's entitled to their opinion they're just not entitled to hurt anybody so act like a mensch do what you're supposed to do and be a chicken who cares so really the craziness of today is simply a lack of a plan we have no plan oh we don't know what a woman is that kind of ruins things so if we don't know how to behave that's the worst part of the whole craziness if we knew how to behave what's the difference what you believe and think as long as you're doing the right thing that's our foundation that that's our well let's talk a little bit about the insanity how is this even possible how can intelligent people become so crazy and and it really is crazy right not not just my imagination okay it's crazy where does it begin where do we first start to uh start to stray from the same path or what is saying do we even know that like every doctor knows when you're sick no doctor can tell you when you're healthy it's not his job no psychologist can tell you when you're when you're normal they can only tell you when you're not so we need some real definitions who are we really so that we know when we're departing or getting off the track this is radical radical thinking but it's so real and so true and so simple that it took us 5 000 years to figure out human beings are very fragile very dependent very needy where easily hurt were easily destroyed we're easily offended we're easily discouraged we get angry easily we're we're in the olden days things were a little more simple what was simple our needs what were our needs a thousand years ago to not die basically just don't die and you're doing okay so our need was to survive and what did it take to survive some food right food and a place to hide when the war comes you know it was quite simple meaning we had simple needs everything we did in almost all of history with very very few exceptions everything human beings did came out of need because we need and what was the need to survive so the farmer wakes up early in the morning wakes up his kid and says come we gotta go work why well because it's the season of planting if we don't get the planting in then we're not going to get the Harvest and then the winter is going to come and we're going to die well you jump out of bed and you go to work because you know you don't want to die so the farmer wakes up his 10 year old boy we gotta Milk The Cow we got to go out and plow the fields we got to get and the kid did because you know you don't want to die today you wake up your 10 year old it's late is it late for what you're going to miss the school bus why do I need to go on a school bus well because you got to go to school why because you got to get a good Mark on why so that you get into a good college well what do I need to do that oh so that you'll get a good job what do I need a job for well to make money and what do I need money for to pay the mortgage what do I need a mortgage for well what do you want to do live in the streets do get sick and die okay so that's why I should get up that's why I should get up today and do all of that because if not some this is ridiculous I'm not gonna die I'll go on welfare the threat of death is so remote that it doesn't motivate anybody anymore so you can't say to a 10 year old get up you want to die what so what motivates us now see that's why we're crazy we don't have a motivation get up be a mensch I don't know what that means if you sleep you're not a mensch look here's here's the real life-changing Cosmic shift it isn't true it was never true that we are needing that is such fake news that is so misleading and and it's so destructive of the human spirit I'm needy I'm dependent so my needs today have increased dramatically and they're becoming just too much too much I can't I can't handle this I take care of one need there are 30 others waiting it's it's never ending and they keep growing you listen to the commercials you don't have one of those you gotta have one of those oh no now I have another need so the needs build up and I can't stand it it's too much I don't want to get out of bed to face all those needs so I go to therapist so you got to help me I I can't I can't function I'm overburdened what does the therapist say you think you know what you need you have no idea you have needs you've never thought of your mother never wanted you you're jealous of your brother had a joke about it goes to a therapist and he analyzes him and he says your problem comes because you're jealous of your brother he says I don't have a brother a therapist said look if you're not going to cooperate you gotta have a brother to be so you go for therapy all all they do is give you deeper more serious more complex more mysterious needs he said well right that's not what I came here for I want to get rid of my needs so you turn to religion to get a little relief a little support a little comfort what do you find out you think you have needs in this world wait till you die your needs will begin when you okay so there's no Escape why are our needs so depressing and so discouraging and so uncomfortable because they're not true it is not true that we are needing it's not true that your entire life speaking from a non-jewish perspective for your entire life you have to be on your knees begging God to help you because you're so helpless and you're so dependent and you're so fragile that you better be on his good side maybe he'll be nice to you is that a morbid description of life your whole life you're fighting against your weaknesses and your dependencies and your neediness no wonder it's depressing it's not true the future of psychology is we have no needs we have no needs and how did we discover this death became remote and we realized I I don't need any of this it doesn't make sense anymore to live intensely so that you don't die that makes no sense you gotta live why because if you don't live you'll be dead so I gotta tell you two very very dramatic developments from from my own limited experience last year if anybody was here last year we spoke about the difference between living and existing existing means occupying space if you don't occupy space you're not you're not here anyway if you can walk through a wall there is no wall the wall occupies its space and you can't you can't violate that space but that existence also makes demands for a human being for example I exist because I occupy space like I was here first it's my seat it's my place don't touch me but in in order to do that I have to eat I have to sleep I have to drink I need a house I need friends I need support I need love I need validation and when I have all of that what have I accomplished I can take up space I can continue to take up space and then do all do it all again tomorrow eat again sleep again drink again like it's a little depressing life on the other hand is the opposite life means what difference are you making by existing what contribution are you making even inanimate objects have a life water exists because it takes up space but its life is it makes plants grow keeps things cool and makes things stick together like mud that's its contribution human beings certainly We Exist we take up space place we use up resources but we make a difference positive negative we make a difference we affect our surroundings life makes no demand life is always wonderful life means I can make a difference people can have a miserable existence or that need not affect their life even in a concentration camp Victor Frankl discovered if you have meaning if you have purpose you will survive what is a concentration camp a really miserable existence because it's not your place and you don't eat that you don't drink and you don't sleep and you don't but you can be fully alive and that has been our secret the reason we're still here and other nations have disappeared is because they were concerned with their existence they tried so hard to exist that they stopped existing our history is we hardly ever existed when did we have a good existence all right a weekend I think in Jerusalem under King Solomon it's been downhill since but what's been downhill not our lives our existence for two thousand years we didn't have a place of Our Own we couldn't occupy space they wouldn't let us they wouldn't let us own real estate and we didn't always have what to eat and we didn't always have shoes and we didn't always have freedom would so our existence pretty miserable but Moshe told us before we entered Israel for the first time don't get too comfortable because your existence is never going to be good so we said so what's the plan Moshe said you be busy living no matter what your existence is like and that is a perfect description of Jewish history the Jewish people hardly exist but make the most trouble ask anybody at the U.N Israel doesn't exist but they got to stop making all that trouble we're very alive when our existence goes down our lives go up we become more productive we become more helpful to each other we produce more Scholars at our worst times that was that was the thing I have a son who lives in California Northern California who is the chaplain for the local penitentiary he offered a course for the inmates two years ago on this subject 18 people showed up signed up they took the course and the change that they went through is stunning a couple of months ago I was back in California for the second rum the fee the people who took the course at first time invited their friends 70 people were sitting in the room 70 inmates and I presented the idea and asked them if they want to sign up 65 of them signed up five didn't because they were already on their way out they're being released so they didn't think they needed it these people the average sentence is 30 to life and five of the guys who graduated the course spoke foreign or dreaming because it was so surreal this guy gets up and says all my life I've been I've been selfish thinking only about myself and that led me to becoming very angry and I had no respect for anybody and eventually I got into violence but since I took the course he says I realize it's not about me life is not about me life means making a contribution so he gives free haircuts he to the other inmates because he wants to do something positive anyway I can go on and on because they they just I'm amazing the guy who was the predator also spoke and he he made everybody cry he says since I took the course and I can explain what life is all about and the difference between because the prison can only interfere with my existence they can't affect my life because even in prison you got to live you got to make a make a difference he says I call my family once a week they listen to me they never listen to me my children respect me and he got all choked up they are very optimistic and enthusiastic about getting out after 40 years you're not sure you want to get out because what are you gonna do you're pushing 60. you haven't been in mainstream life so they want to get out because they don't like where they are but they dread it these guys are so excited because they're coming out with a message for their family for their friends for for Society at Large what happened here under all of the visual visible they thought they were needy and discovered that they're not they're not needy they're needed absolutely stunning I couldn't believe what I'm hearing so after this after the program I spoke to each of them individually I'm standing there eye to eye with this murderer or mass mass murderer and I'm looking in his eyes because I can't believe this and I I'm looking for a sign of a little resentment of a little coldness of a little cynicism like are they faking what's going on here there's nothing they're absolutely it sounds ridiculous they're absolutely innocent the potential that human beings have when you stop being needy it changes everything then there's another phenomenon some guy in Israel was listening to my lectures and took notes he's a he's a professor of anthropology at the University of Tel Aviv and he happens to have a very smooth writing style and comes easy to him so he was taking notes one lecture another lecture another lecture and suddenly he realized he has a book he just wrote a book she calls me and he says would you be interested in publishing a book so we worked at it we you know organized it and so on and so forth the book came out in modern Hebrew as a secular book because he's a professor at the University the title of the book is in English I didn't ask to be born I never asked to be born and it's basically this topic that we're talking about am I needy I'm not needy I didn't ask to be born why didn't I ask to be born I don't need to be nobody needs to be born is that scary big Amara long ago said you are conceived against your will you are formed against your will you are born against your will and you die against your will how depressing is that it's not depressing at all it's so liberating you don't need to be conceived you don't need to be formed you don't need to be born you don't need to die it's not about you you're not the needy one that's a relief because it's so true like for example I need to eat I need to eat is that true I don't need to eat because I never asked to be born so if I don't need to be born why do I need to eat right so well if you don't eat you're gonna die what's your point so what's your point well you shouldn't die why why we were always afraid to ask that question but today 10 year olds are asking the question you ask a 10 year old to put away their toys or their books and their answer is I didn't ask to be born everywhere in the world I didn't ask to be born so you know you're pushing it far enough just with that now I have to clean up a room so there was this guy I'm sure you heard about it this guy who took his parents to court literally truly he is suing them to pay all his bills for the rest of his life why because they gave birth to him without his consent entrapment you give birth to me and now I'm trapped no you pay the bills they threw it out of court I don't know why I mean come on it's a good argument like did I sign a contract that I agree verbally to pay my bills to go to school to no no you went ahead and gave birth to me you paid a bills makes so much sense I think they threw it out of court because the parents argued we didn't ask to be born either so why should we pay the bills so go to Grandma and what does grandma say you got to go all the way back to Adam and Eve we don't ask to be born absolutely because we don't need to be now as much as that's a relief psychologically all the pressure is off me I don't need to eat I have a handicap if I don't eat I'll die I guess I shouldn't die so so I have to eat but it's not my need this is how I was created it's the Creator who needs me to eat because if I designed myself I would never make myself dependent on vegetables kind of strange handicap is that and if I designed myself I wouldn't need to sleep half my life away so do I need to sleep no the best example to bear in mind a teenage boy goes off overseas to Yeshiva he arrives in the Yeshiva goes into the office this is back in the 60s true story he goes into the office the dean of Yeshiva sitting there and he says to him in Yiddish I need to call my mother which phone should I use and the dean says whoa I need he said we don't understand English I need to call my mother and the dean says what I need boy it was not not a foolish boy so he says my mother needs me to call her which phone can I use and the dean said to him ah stop lying stop lying your mother needs you to call you don't need to call her so why are you taking her need and claiming that it's yours that's a lie I need to eat that's a lie eating is not my idea not my choice I don't like it most of the time I wish I didn't have to eat but I call it my need it's a lie and that's why it's depressing because it's not true of me that's not me me is not needy I can get up off my knees I don't have to keep begging for favor and for for survival so it's a really big relief in the future you go to a therapist you say uh I need some help the therapist say no you don't come best therapy in the world you don't need anything stop lying you didn't ask to be born you don't need to be here death is not a threat because so what oh you want to die not right now but it's not my it's not my my desperation it's not but that's half the story if I really need nothing and I don't need to be alive it sounds a little fatalistic um cynical so what's life the second half of the of the reality is you don't need but your creator needs you how do we know that he created you doesn't it say something so we've had it backwards for so long God needs nothing he is perfect we need all the time everything constantly that is so not true it is not real the reality is we need nothing because we created nothing but the Creator who creates a universe he needs something so the conclusion is I am not needy I am needed so is my life significant far more than I ever thought and what is my life a constant avoidance of death that's that's senseless my life is partnering with God in making the world Godly that's how we have survived when our existence was miserable we sat there what the heck I didn't ask to be born so what should I do figure out what God needs and do that so I went from fighting for existence having a life having a life means do what is needed of you stop being needy there was a woman who came to the river in a panic her father had been in a car accident and was very seriously injured and she came to the dead before a blessing for the father and that ever surprised her episode where's your sister she had a younger sister she said I don't know and the Never screamed at her you don't know where your sister is go find her and take care of her it was the last thing she expected and she was a little upset with the Dead anyway it turned out that while she was talking to the debit her father had already passed away so what did the rabbit do foreign took her from her neediness to being needed you have a younger sister she's a child go take care of her and it really saved her sanity this is such a radical change in in the definition of a human being we had gotten it all wrong and what we were thinking about human beings was depressing but we thought we had to survive at all costs so we were busy surviving now that we're not so busy surviving we have time to think and we realized wait a minute I didn't ask to be born this book I didn't ask to be born I am not needy I am needed has become the rage in Tel Aviv among people who never believed in God it is it's a phenomenon I'm talking to people who say they don't believe in God I say but but God needs you they say really he needs me yes and they and they get really excited they start keeping Mitzvahs and they start what is that the god you don't believe in needs you not amazing it sold out five times this book and it just keeps getting among the secular among the religious it's rethinking everything and suddenly it's making sense we know ourselves a lot better than we ever did so how is it all going to end imagine if tomorrow morning everyone in the world everyone in the world wakes up and says I don't need this who needs me that's it we have a perfect world if that happens we have a perfect world if you wake up thinking I don't need anything then you stop killing people then you stop stealing you stop lying you stop being desperate you don't feel like a cornered animal you don't feel burdened and depressed by your needs and you don't know who to blame so here's what avraham's response was when God Called to him you remember God calls to avram and he says here I am God knows where you are what is he what does he needy mean now we understand he named me means I'm available I'm I'm free because I have no needs so if you have needs well let me know what can I do for you we can get up off our knees now so now if you're gonna do a Mitzvah it's not because you're desperate to get on God's good side so that will be nice to you he is nice to you he made you his partner in creation how much nicer can someone be than to need you he needs us and again how simple is this if he creates the whole universe he's after something I didn't create anything and I have to pay the bills it's so backwards I don't have to pay bills God needs me to pay my bills because that's Godly you ate something you pay for it that's Godly not my need so what is going to be the end if everyone is suddenly doing what is needed of them this world is completely Godly and that is the ultimate purpose and again religion there is absolutely no point in getting to heaven it's so boring up there why is that a goal an objective can't you wait you're looking forward to going to heaven that's crazy whoever made that a destination somebody said why are you being so religious is it because if you're religious then you get to sit next to God like I said you want to sit next to God what are you going to talk about it's got to be the most uncomfortable seat in the house put me in the back somewhere with some friends of mine you want to go to heaven that is such a distortion of religion religion means bring God down to earth he wants to be here and you want to go there Torah says serve god with joy it now has a completely new meaning it's not an obligation serve God and smile when you're doing it no serve God be needed so that you can be happy but if you're being needy you are not going to be happy why because it's a lie your mother needs you to call not you need to call God needs you to be a mensch not you need to be amended so if you're serving him there's joy like very simple in this last example it's lunch time you're home alone you're gonna make lunch if there's some leftovers you'll eat it if you open a can a jar or whatever if not forget skip it but somebody calls up and says can I come over for lunch all of a sudden it's a party we are much happier being needed than being needy that ultimately is our choice in life free choice be needy or be needed how do we stay sane in a mashugana world the world is much sugar because of need and you can patch up one need after another put a Band-Aid on this put a Band-Aid on that get to get to the root of the problem the root of the problem is you think you need to eat worse you think you need to live and what's his name is interfering with my life you don't need to live you are needed we're saying again so anytime you start to feel like you need something question it what does your mother need what does your creator need be needed because that's true and don't feel needy cause you don't need it what do you think it makes sense that's amazing it actually makes sense why did it take 5 000 years to figure this out I don't know now that I think about this I think what were they thinking how did religion convince us that we're the needy ones I know religion always dumbs down to people right a religion wants to keep you dumb so that you'll obey and you'll follow and you'll listen and you'll but how did they convince us that we're the needy ones that's so vile hmm for their purposes they were needy so God says I'm taking you out of Egypt Pharaoh needs you I need you that's why we're still celebrating PESA because every time we think well he he needs me that's it it's PESA all over again so let's do this let's partner with God at every opportunity what can we do to make the world his kind of world because he needs take on alarm not me I just want a nice neighborhood give me a nice little town I'm happy I don't have to fix the whole world not my problem so if I'm fixing the whole world and I should it's because he needs me to do that why does he need me it's his world things are so logical all of a sudden so I had one little practical if you find something in Judaism that sounds mysterious then it's wrong there are no mysteries in Judaism none everything in Judaism is real it's practical it's it's factual it's knowable it's understandable everything that's another religious myth oh we don't understand or we'll never know what where do you get this from foreign there is nothing about God about Judaism about Torah that you don't understand nothing so if you're having a hard time and it feels a little uncomfortable or wrong you're probably right get answers because it does make sense it's in fact the only thing that makes sense that's how to serve God but that's also how to be any questions no mystery based upon I I hope that mystical and mysterious are not related mystical means knowing things that don't appear well that's all of science actually all of science means discovering things you haven't seen that's what Kabbalah is Kabbalah is telling you what goes on in heaven what the Angels do what they are what they're for what they're this is there's nothing missed it's the ability to understand what the eye doesn't see that's wisdom yeah of service to God so I ask God how many to remove them is that a need I need him to remove these so I can certainly exactly right the reason if we don't need anything what are we praying about all the time are we constantly praying like what's Yom Kippur you spend the entire day pleading with God to inscribe you in the Book of Life who cares but you're right I'm asking God to make my existence a little more pleasant so I'm not distracted from doing for him it's like if you're given a job some company hires you you expect an office a desk not because you need a desk but because the desk allows you to work for the company the bigger the offers the better you can work for the company so that's what prayer is all about I want to serve you help me not help me with my need help me do what you need it's like a good marriage I want to be a good husband tell me what you need no don't tell me let me guess it's not nice so when I ask for information it's not because I need the information is because I want to do for you what you need so don't make it hard on me in fact talking about Yom Kippur insight is so it's so healthy the idea that you come in Kipper you come to synagogue because traditionally right because you know you sinned you know you're in trouble you come Yom Kippur to the synagogue try to patch things up between you and God so that you don't die right remember us for Life inscribers in The Book of Life give me life let me live don't kill me that's Yom Kippur that is so prophetic the Hasidic version is death doesn't scare me I didn't ask to be born life scares me life scares me because life is so meaningful so when we come on Yom Kippur and we promise God to be better this year than last year it's not because we're afraid of death it's because we're afraid of life meaning we know God is going to give us paranoid annoyed of course he's going to give us another year of life what we're worried about is I don't want to waste this year the way I wasted it last year so out of awe for life I want to do better so inscribe me in the book of life means give me the wisdom that's a book it's not a list it's a book inscribe me in the Book of Life give me the wisdom about life so that I don't waste it like I did last year so we're not afraid of death we're afraid of life death is dead but life is a challenge life is a responsibility you don't need to be smart to die stupid people died but you need a lot of wisdom to live life is exciting yes in about 20 minutes after we go eat a little bit and settle down but we don't need to eat [Applause] we're going to eat only because the rabbi said strictly for Godly purposes it'll be a religious experience we have a Sunday night program for VIPs that you might be interested in it's informal it's questions and answers it's conversation it's really relaxed it's really Pleasant enjoyable informative and that kind of community-like it's a Sunday night program there's a Wednesday morning program for the VIPs and there's a Wednesday night program all of it just conversation casual laid back unscripted so join us take a look click the link below and see which which of the three suits you best and join us for some enjoyable conversation

Channel: Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 87,516

Keywords: education, educational, training, torah, judaism, chabad, religion, judaism beliefs, judaism definition, manis friedman, rabbi manis friedman, life, inspiration, inspirational, rabbi, life advice, advice, life changing, spiritual, spirituality, motivation, motivational, relationships, wisdom, ancient wisdom, hassidic, chassidic, chassidic wisdom, hassidic wisdom, jewish wisdom, jewish learning, jewish life, bible, truth

Id: UaaA2YK473E

Length: 56min 18sec (3378 seconds)

Published: Wed May 03 2023