Why Do Bad Things Happen? | If God Exists Why Do We Suffer? | Reality Is Perfect

today I'd like to look at a very important question and it's a question that at some point every single person on their journey of dam their journey of spiritual enlightenment it's a question that everybody asks when everyone has heard about a god a Divine purpose in life a creator when people start exploring what is the meaning of life what is the purpose of life there's a really significant question that gets asked by people and that question is if there is a God then why do bad things happen in life and it's very easy to hear ideas about Oneness and divine Perfection and people ask this question well why are there bad things happening and as soon as they ask that question there's also another question a followon question what about very serious issues that we see in society the most extreme causes of suffering child abuse rape murder War starvation poverty loss of loved ones people dying too soon how can God be perfect how can all of this be perfect and more importantly how does someone who has been affected by these things get over them how do we help people now these are very important questions but underneath these questions is another more important question what is beneath this question what is behind these questions is it just a philosophical question are these just questions that people would like to know the answers to just because they sound nice the root of these questions comes from an emotion from a feeling and the feeling is why does it hurt so bad why am I feeling pain why am I feeling this discomfort there is a disturbance inside me there is a feeling of unease inside me and I want to know what the reason is for it now we come to this sort of thinking because we look at our minds in the same way that we look at our bodies and when our body is is healthy we know that all the stimulus for the body all the environment around the body is in balance and how do we know that how do we know that our body feels good we know that we feel able we can move we feel healthy we don't feel weak we know that there is balance but as soon as there is a feeling of discomfort inside our body if there is a feeling of a little bit of difficulty something is struggling something is not quite right then straight away we want to know what the answer is we want to know what the cause of this problem is it can be a flu it can be an infection it can be some sort of pain it can be that we're too hot we're too cold that we're hungry that we've eaten bad food so as soon as there's discomfort in the body we want to know what the cause of that discomfort is and we use the same logic to try and understand our mind when our emotions feel difficult then we want to know what is the cause of it if there is something that we would call a negative emotion and we can boil some of these feelings of discomfort we have down to some very basic things and this is a very loose General iation if you're feeling stressed if you're feeling angry if you're feeling worried all of those things are caused by some fear when you know that you're stressed if you're angry or if you're worried what the root cause of those things is fear and when you're feeling sad the root cause of that is that you feel feel something has been taken away from you or your expectation has not been met in some way we're going to talk a lot about expectations later on today and most of the time we can't see our problems in such a simplistic way when we feel sad when we feel angry when we feel anxiety stress what do we like to do we like some other thing to blame we like to have something to make responsible we need someone to blame and that could be anyone family members a colleague at work friends even strangers sometimes if we don't have a person to blame then we can just play circumstances like there's too much traffic or the weather is not good and if we don't have even something else to blame then we say it's our destiny it's bad Destiny we're always trying to look for something to BL blame when there's really big disasters in the world then we don't know what to do so then we start asking very fundamental questions maybe God is to blame and as soon as you say it's God's fault then you start thinking that's that doesn't sound right that doesn't feel right we start feeling uneasy with this idea you know why because there's an assumption that we make and the assumption is surely God would would do this to me surely God wouldn't do this to me what have I done wrong what have I done to deserve this and all of this comes from an idea that we have about this God and the idea is that surely God only does good things and we get indoctrinated with this idea from a very young age that God is good does only good things and represents goodness in the world getting a bit serious now isn't it so I'll make it a bit light I'm going to sing you a song actually I'll just tell you the words you don't want to hear me singing the song This is a song that I learned in school and I'm sure a lot of you know this song it goes all things bright and beautiful all creatures great and small all things wise and wonderful the Lord God made them all you're all singing the tune in your head each Little Flower that opens each little bird that sings he made their glowing colors he made their tiny wings from a very young age in school I remember singing these songs in assembly God does all the wonderful things so God is responsible for all the good things but is this the reality is this what we really see in the world is God only responsible for the good things or is God responsible for everything gurbani talks about a different idea gurbani talks about hookum that which is the word hookum means command it gives this idea of a royal king who is Comm commanding over the whole universe and the hookom is whatever the the the king says that's what has to be done but how do we understand hookum how can we make it something that's relevant to our life a good way to understand hookum is to simplify it in English we can say hookum means reality that which is happening not what somebody has said said not what some God sitting in a throne is saying but that which is happening reality so when we start looking at hookum as reality then that reality includes everything that we would call negative everything that we would say is dark so what we can say is that reality is like a spectrum creation the universe is a spectrum of all possibilities what does that mean everything that can happen may happen if we see the universe as a spectrum do you know what I mean by Spectrum a range a range of all possibilities what do we do is we are only looking at one section of the spectrum we're only looking at the Spectrum that says good things are happening but reality means anything can happen and anything does happen and in that spectrum of anything that can happen some things we call good and some things we call bad but let's think about what is good or bad good or bad means if it impacts me in a way that I like I'm going to say it's a good thing if it impacts me in a way that I don't like I'm going to say it's a bad thing but the reality is different reality is this is what's happening you can call it good or you can call it bad that's up to you I like to use a very simple analogy to explain this idea so imagine it's your wedding day and for the last two months it has been glorious Sunshine every day so what's your ardas going to be on my wedding day please don't let it rain it's been Sunny for the last two months my important day on this day it shouldn't rain this is the big day yeah you put your calendar up you Circle it you said that's the day so you're doing Adas every day don't let it rain on that day but one mile up the road Road there's a farmer and he's looking at the weather he's looking at the clouds and he's saying it's sunny every day why isn't it rained so what's his oras going to be please let it rain so on the day it rains the people getting married say this is terrible this is the worst thing that can happen of all the days that it could have rained why did it have to to rain today and on the other side one mile down the road the farmer is going to all his neighbors and handing out lus because it started raining now you tell me is the rain good or is the rain bad it's neither is it it just is it's just rain what does the rain care about your opinion of the rain what does the rain care if you think it's good rain or bad rain the rain is going to rain when it's going to rain this is how the whole of the universe is working all day every day it's just doing what it needs to do and we're sitting there saying this is a great thing today is a good day and this is a bad day so when we think and hear about Concepts like the universe is perfect and hookum is perfect what we like to think is that means my life is going really well all the good things are happening in my life but that's not what it means that the universe is perfect the universe is perfect it knows when it needs to rain and it's going to rain it knows when it doesn't need to rain and it's not going to rain that is the Perfection of the universe that's what it means that the universe is perfect that's what it means that hookum is perfect but we don't see the world in that way so we see the whole universe based on me how does it affect me me let's see how this affects me so our whole perception of the world is based on how does it impact me we have no interest in hookum only if hookum is doing nice things to me the reality is there is no good hookum and there is no bad hookum it is what it is and that's what hookum means now the question is are you able to accept hookum are you able to understand and see the reality for what it is rather than how you want it to be are you able to lose your expectations on the day that it was going to be the wedding day you had an expectation I don't want it to rain the farmer had an expectation I want it to rain neither of them are willing to accept the reality as it is everybody is thinking about how is this going to impact me so let's talk more about bigger issues the traumas that we face in our life the big question is now how are we going to deal with these traumas in our life and I'll tell you from my own personal experience one of the most impactful things that has happened in my life is to try and understand why sadness happens and I'd really like to share that with you today when you can understand the cause of your own suffering when you can understand the cause of your feeling sad then you will have a much better understanding of where this is coming from what does it mean why do I feel this way so there is a very simple way to understand suffering and I like to use Simple formulas like when you go to school and you learn a plus Bal C so let me teach you a very simple formula if you'll allow me expectation minus reality equals du or Suk let me tell you what that means expectation minus reality equals let me explain that let's say I arrange a meeting with you and I say meet me in the Town Center at 12 :00 what is my expectation you're going to meet me at 12:00 so the day comes I'm standing there waiting for you let's say you arrive at 12:00 what's my response going to be happy I told you to come at 12:00 I set an expectation for myself I set an expectation for you you arrive you met my expectation I'm happy let's say you arrive at 12:30 what's my feelings going to be I'm going to be a little bit disappointed but chello it's not too bad I set the expectation at 12: you've arrived at 12:30 not too bad I'm a little bit annoyed at you but not too bad let's say you turn up at 2:00 what's my feelings going to be very annoyed why the reality is you turn up when you're going to turn up but my expectation determines how happy I'm going to be how sad I'm going to be why the further the reality goes from my expectation the more my du or is going to be if you turned up 5 minutes early you've gone the other way you've exceeded my expectations you've turned up even earlier so I'm even happier wow we agreed 12 you've come even earlier what have you come at 10:00 then you go the other way then I'm going to be disappointed on that side I'm not ready I'm not there yet why are you turning up at 10:00 so it's a very fine line but what is the one thing that I'm holding on to I'm holding on to 12:00 we said 12:00 that's my expectation what I'm not doing is I'm not going with the flow as reality is I'm not saying you've turned up when you turn up not a problem now you can see how easy easy it is to get disappointed how easy is it to get unnecessarily happy or unnecessarily sad is that even a reason to get happy or sad and what do you do then you blame the other person I told you 12:00 you came at 2:00 you blame the other person you don't even ask them why you're late that's it you're already annoyed before they turn up late you're already annoyed because you're holding on to your expectation now let's say we arrange for you to come to my house and I say come whatever time you want you turn up at 10:00 I'm neither happy nor sad you come at 12:00 neither happy nor sad you come at 2:00 I'm neither happy nor sad what's the difference I have no expectation reality is where happiness is that's where contentment is that's the hookum reality the more you move from my expectation of reality the more D I'm going to feel your suffering isn't because the other person turned up late your suffering is because you're not willing to accept that they turned up late you're still holding on to your 12:00 we agreed 12:00 you should have come at 12:00 and you're holding on to that the reality has moved past 12:00 now you don't move along with it you're holding on to an idea now where is the expectation is that a reality is that something that you can actually hold on to no the expectation is just a thought your thoughts make you happy or sad did you know that your thoughts are making you happy and your thoughts are making you sad there is no such thing as happy and sad it's just a thought it's just an idea in your head hookum is moving beyond that so happiness is not about what you get in life happiness is how you react to what you get in life what do we think happiness is we think happiness is the more I get the happier I'm going to be the more money I earn the more big things I can buy the more happier I'm going to be so we think the more we receive the more happy we're going to be but that's not what happiness is happiness is not what you get it's how you deal with what you get it's not about how much you get it's about how you deal with how much you get that's what happiness is and the question is are you able to accept reality that reality is neither good or neither bad but let's talk about more serious things because these are the kind of questions that people have in their mind what about child abuse what about real traumas that we have in our life what about these real difficult things that we sometimes face in our lives the reality is whatever it is the scenario whatever the scenario is it starts with an expectation in our mind that our our mind has an expectation that life should be good our mind sets an expectation that life should be pleasurable but the reality is that's not what life is let's look at nature have you ever seen these documentaries on these nature programs you see nature is quite harsh nature is quite brutal animals fight with each other all the time animals kill each other all the time I saw a program once about lions when a lion male lion goes to take over another lion he wants to take their pride one male lion to several females and they have lots of children when a new male comes and says I want to own this Pride if he defeats the lion of that Pride you know what the first thing is he does he goes and he kills all the children of that lion that's the first thing he does if he's gone and defeated that lion and that old lion leaves the pride he's now the new Lion of the pride the first thing he does he kills all the children that's the first thing he does because why does he want to take over that Pride he wants his genes to continue he wants to be the the lion that gives the new Cubs to the females so is this good or is this bad or is this natural nature this is what nature is and the same applies to human behavior we can't see that if somebody abuses somebody else that the abuser is neither good or bad we can't see that we can't see that what we're calling bad that person is simply carrying out his hookum the hookum that has been laid out for that person he's just doing that they've not had the grace to understand their ego they've not had the chance to understand the Gan of the guru they don't understand the Oneness the creation they don't have the opportunity to experience the Bliss of n so whatever their circumstances are life has led them to do what we would call either good or bad things and what is our hook if we catch someone like that an abuser rapist whatever what's our hookom that we naturally feel we're going to attack them we're going to beat them we're going to punish them in some way that's our hookum so the person doing the bad thing is carrying out their hookum the victims and the family and the friends of the victim they're carrying out their hook but the universe is playing both sides of the game if you ever get a chance look into the bhagwat Gita there's a very interesting story in there people get quite scared when we start talking about these other things but we can learn from some of these things in the bhagwat Gita there is a story of the Mahabharat the big battle and in that battle the Gita is a conversation between Arjun and Krishna Arjun is standing at the beginning of a battle he's standing on one side of the battle and he's looking at the enemy and the enemy has all of his friends and relatives his own teacher is standing on the other side his own cousins and other people are standing on the other side and he asks Krishna he says I don't know how to start this battle I don't know how to have this battle how can I fight these people I grew up with them they're my family krishna's response is that is not your decision to make your hookom is you're sitting on this side of the battlefield their hookom is that they're sitting on that side of the battlefield and hookum is that this battle is going to happen you carry out your hook they carry out their hookum don't you get involved don't you bring bring your hkar your H into this don't bring your ego into this that what am I going to do the universe has already laid out this tamasha this play this n the guru has already laid this out look at gur Goin Singh G what does he call his life story he doesn't say this my autobiography he says it's a n it's a play it's a game he sees his own life story as a play as a game that's just happening I'm just a witness to this play NK what does NK mean it means tamasha it means drama right it means something that's just a play and something that's a play is not real it's just a game that's happening so if we can start adopting this in our life we can start to see that the universe is playing both sides of the game the universe is the victim but the universe is also the oppressor that one I is playing both sides now can we accept that we're still stuck in this something is good and something is bad but Guru is trying to teach us that everything is one this is the way of the universe this is the Perfection of the universe now the question always comes why why does it happen why is it like this the why is unknowable gurunanak d g doesn't try to answer this question why does a universe do what it does how many times in gbani does it come only you know you know what you know how can we know what can we know all we know is that it's happening we barely know our own minds how can we know what is in the mind of the patma so the question is no longer about why do bad things happen the question is are you going to be able to accept the universe what is your coping mechanism what is your strategy to deal with the universe you see if you're swimming in a river there's two ways that you can swim one you can go with the direction of the flow of the river and your life will be easy one is you can swim in the opposite direction of the river and your life will be hard your swim will be difficult now can you blame the river if you choose to swim in the opposite direction no the river is going in One Direction and that's how hookum is hookum is going in One Direction either you swim with hookum or you swim against hookum but it's not hok's fault Hokum is doing what it needs to do hookum means that which is happening reality that's the Divine will can we accept hookum can we accept all the the things that are going to be written in our life disease poverty trauma disabilities can we accept them inur says all the circumstances that cause your happiness and your sadness they're being written into the story of life so happiness and sadness that's out of your control all those circumstances you can't control you don't know what's going to happen next we don't know if the next breath is going to come in into us how do we know what's going to happen in life these are all part of hukum this is the natural way of the universe we can call hookum the natural law that which is happening and what happens in life you get your highs and your lows you get your good days and your bad days your happiness your sadness but these things happen because we don't accept life as it comes so the question is are you able to observe life from Beyond the perspective of your own ego are you able to look at life as it's happening rather than as you want it to happen everyone is chasing after happiness everyone is running after happiness but the reality is everything is happening in the one will the hook says we talk from the perspective of H from me why is this happening to me gurus says if you understood hookum then you wouldn't ask about me but the key thing here is if you understand if you understand hokam then you will know that it's not about me hook the reality is not about me that's like the river and the fish the fish thinks the whole Rivers is about me the river about the fish the fish is in the river but the whole river doesn't revolve around the one little fish if you understand the river is going in this direction then the fish will say the river is going in that direction nothing to do with me then nobody would speak from your own personal perspective so the question is where's God's role in all of this does gurbani see God as the doer of just good things or does gurbani see the one the Divine God as the doer of everything ganak G has a shab that says P this Oneness God doesn't ask anybody's permission when it's going to create when it's going to destroy when it's going to give or when it's going to take the Oneness knows its own creative power it's doing everything itself it does everything it sees everything it gives and takes away as it pleases as it pleases so it's giving so the universe doesn't need your permission it doesn't need your permission to rain if it needs to rain it's going to rain it asks no one's permission this is why we have this analogy gurus is always saying that you are the king sitting in the Darbar the king means there's nobody higher there's nobody that the King has to ask for mission of that's where it the buck stops at the king it knows itself and most people don't want to accept life like this we always want to know why we always want to question the decisions of hookum we even hear people saying everything happens for a reason you know what they're saying when when they say everything happens for a reason they're saying it doesn't feel good right now maybe the good will show up some later point in the future what that means is I still don't like what hookum is doing but I'm going to just hope that there's a good outcome what's a good outcome that somewhere down the line it's positive it's not positive now somewhere down the line is positive either which we you hear people say this that there must be some good thing here it doesn't feel good but let's hope there's something good that's not accepting hookum hookum is as is happening that's what is happening that's it at every single moment are you able to accept the decision of hookum as it's happening Guru Arjun Dev G says there's a sh inal the whole world is engrossed in bad deeds and good deeds the whole world is lost in good things and bad things but the Puget the meditator the one who knows they are Beyond good and bad actions only a few rare people are like this live like this Tak this master takur this king is in everything what can I say about you what what should I even hear about you you are the big being and you are the ultimate you're the one that know everything what can I say what can I say about your hookum so gurbani talks about the Oneness not just doing good things you're in everything you're doing everything you're even the destroyer of all things you know ja talks about the one who creates everything and destroys everything this is the paramatma that that Guru SS are talking about not just the one who gives you good things it's the one that does everything the creator of Maya the creator of ego the creator of happiness and sadness so the one can't be good or bad the Oneness is neither good or bad remember gur arj says that the Pat is the one who is beyond good or bad but we don't like to think like that we don't understand that good or bad is subjective we don't understand that good or bad is only from our perspective and the rain scenario that we talked about earlier that's a very good way to understand this so the Oneness is doing everything it is one it's absolute it's nonu it's beyond Duality the one means that there aren't two or three or four and it's not doing good things one day and bad things another day that's Duality Duality means two different ways of working two different ways of living two different ways of looking at things seeing things as opposite there is no opposite there just is so the problem is that we don't work like that we are relative beings so we're beings that see everything as good or bad hot or cold day is the opposite of night up is the opposite of down so we judge everything in the world based on what it's what's the opposite is this a good fruit well I know what the bad fruit looks like so this is a good one so you're always looking at things from a relative perspective we're looking at the whole world based on if one is like this then the other is like that but that's this dualistic way of looking at the world but the one is what we call absolute it's just one it's doing everything all in one go but Guru s is trying to explain something to people like us and we don't see the world in this way we see the world in opposites that's how we see the whole world so guruji's got a very hard job to try and explain to people like us so what does this mean for us what does this mean for our actions does it mean that we can do whatever we want if there's nothing good and there's nothing bad maybe we can just do whatever we want it's all hookum right why do we have to do all good things why do we have to do lots of hard work being good is quite hard work it's a lot easier to be bad just don't bother don't care about anyone now that's a question that you're going to have to answer for yourself what is your purpose in life what are you here to do the gurus have laid out a path they've laid out this Rasta for us this route for us the question is are you able to walk this path this is the path for human beings to reach our Highest Potential that's the path that the guru has laid on the one that gives Humanity the most happiness the most Bliss contentment in life question is do you want that do you want that ultimate true happiness or are you just happy with life as it is some days I feel like doing this some days I feel like doing that or are we ready to walk the guru's path now another very important issue that's all related to these things around why bad things happen is people are also struggling with the traumas of other people but they're also struggling with the traumas that they have inflicted on the world one of the biggest things that people don't talk about is the idea of how do I forgive myself how do I forgive myself a lot of the time we're carrying burdens of of our own past actions and we're completely unable to let our own past go and this is where you start seeing these ideas of regret self blame and all of these stem from one problem that you think you are responsible for those things that have happened if the universe is doing everything if the universe is doing all things bad and all things good then that means the universe is doing everything that you're doing everything that you have done is being done by that parmatma that one who is in control of everything the reason you're unable to forgive yourself is because you're still holding on to the idea that I did it I'm the one who did the bad things we can't accept that our actions are also part of hookum so in a normal scenario we might be the victim and there's somebody else that we can blame they're the oppressor we're the victim but in cases where we're the ones not able to forgive ourselves at some point we have been an oppressor we've hurt somebody else but when we carry the burden of that pain then we become the oppressor and we become the victim within yourself you're playing both the roles question is are you able to accept accept that even the things that you have done in your past is only based on whatever wisdom the universe had given you whatever m whatever thinking you had whatever SOI you had at that time that's what made you do that action are you able to accept that are you able to see it as part of that Divine will are you able to let go let go of the victim let go of the oppressor so that you can say that everything is done by them my children are quite young and there's a very good song which says Let It Go I'm sure you've heard it it's from one of these Disney movies Let It Go the song just keeps saying let it go let it go it's a good monther for the little children to learn Let It Go actually it's a good man for us to let go we have to learn that man as well Frozen m I like to leave you with some things that you might not remember anything that I say but you'll remember Frozen man let it go let it go question is are you able to let it go hookum is the act of Letting Go that's what hookum means the hookum means can you transcend can you move past it or are you still holding on to the pain are you holding on to the the victim mentality are you holding on to this illusion that I made all the decision I made those choices it was me that did that it's my fault or holding on to this it's his fault or her fault they did it it's because of them that this has happened are you able to let that go are you able to live as part of this bigger creation that you're able to see everything as just what the one is doing when we start to live like this then we can say that our will is the will of hookum whatever we do is what hukum is doing whatever we think is what hukum is doing you now become responsible for the whole universe and the whole responsibility of the universe is also on you you are just another part of what the whole universe is doing the question is are you willing to be so connected to the universe to that Oneness or do you want to keep the Oneness somewhere far away so you do all the big things let me worry about all the everyday problems so having this mentality of Letting Go this brings this carefreeness Nas SAS nanak says that the pagats are forever in Bliss they're playful they're joyful why because they've listened to this wisdom by listening to what the guru is saying all their sorrows go and all their po that they've done they also go Nas Nas means destroyed completely destroyed but you have to be willing to listen to this so that gives you this Tranquility that we're looking for in life but what that means is you have to let go of your own baggage you have to let go of your blame that means you walk around with no baggage no blame no self no identity no identification with your past no identification with your actions but we get uncomfortable with this we think what do you mean if I have no responsibility then I can just do whatever I want it's a very fine balance you have to figure out some of these things yeah Guru can only show you the way you still have to walk this path you still have to decide what what's the what's the right thing to do at this moment What's the way to live the truth is the universe is sufficient as it is but we don't see the universe like that everything that universe is doing is enough but we like to take all the responsibility we like to take these burdens why do you want to take all these burdens why do you want to take these responsibilities on your life like you're the architect of the whole universe like you're the one in control of everything why why do you want to think like that no trouble is really yours leave it whatever is your that is what's going to happen that's another good man if you want to find a way to find peace in your life every moment of every day make it is that your you know what you're doing this is your will this is your will whatever you want that's what's going to happen gbani says this time and time again in so many shs as the Divine Wills that's what's going to happen so don't take troubles on in your life don't hold on to these things living like this means there's no concerns for you no no troubles no hardship no glory is yours either no victory is yours either and no loss is yours and no failure is yours everything is the dance of the one this is a kid this is a play this is a dance the universe is just dancing in a Master with itself it's just playing with itself where is the question of you doing anything so this is why Guru saying no one is high and no one is low you hear that in gbani as well no one is up and no one is down because you're not high because you're successful and somebody is low because they're not successful what do your success got to do with you you might think oh I've done a lot of hard work I'm the reason for my own success but how did you do the hard work you did the hard work with your body and you did the hard work with your brain did you create your body did you create your brain did you create your mind and your ability to think so how can you take responsibility for your success and in the same way how can you take responsibility for your failures are they really success or failures or are they just hookum the way things are but we don't want to see the world in this way we like to see all the things that we've been given in life we come we do shukrana we do our we do our K parts thank you for giving me a son thank you for blessing me with this thank you for all the good things and then when bad things happen nobody comes and says thank you then it's oh then you you see how language changes see how a language changes when everything is good oh it's very good then we say when we can't accept it oh like oh is like oh maybe it's all written in Destiny a whole language starts Tak what we're saying is it's hook but I don't really like it I don't I don't really have any control in it if I was in control I wouldn't have done this that's what we're really saying if it was up to me I wouldn't have done this but the Puget are completely detached from this way of thinking they're saying what is happening is what is happening neither happy neither sad so we like to see God is giving us all the good things in life and we like to hold all the blame to oursel I'm the puy I'm the one who's done all the bad things but this is just another way of holding on to this identity that I am I'm important I might not do good things but I I do some things at least I do some of the bad things so we like to make God separate and we like to keep our ego going even it's even if it's a dooky ego a suffering ego question is why are you not able to let go of this so let's talk about practicality as we're coming towards the end of this talk how do you practically let go the first step to letting go is that you have to recognize when you feel this unfulfilled feeling inside you something is unresolved something is not quite right there's a disappointment in your inner being in your mind first you have to recognize something doesn't feel right the second and most important thing to realize is that this feeling is temporary this feeling is temporary if you are going through some difficulty in your life the most important thing for you to remember is that this is going to go away it's okay some things happen but it's not going to last forever there was a story I think it's one of these old Persian Tales of a king who gathered all his wise men and he said I set you a challenge give me something that will make me happy when I'm sad and make me sad when I'm happy and all the wise men got together and said this is a very difficult thing but they went away they did some thinking they came back and they presented the king with a ring and on the ring there was an inscription that said this too shall [Music] pass when you're happy know that this is going to go away and when you're sad know this too shall pass I think we should all have a ring like that we should all have something that's a constant reminder this is is going to go away if you're struggling with something right now the most reassuring thing that anyone can say to you that I can say to you is no it's going to be okay it will be okay it will change nothing lasts forever so you have to find a way to slowly convert your suffering into acceptance use your suffering as a way to say I need to learn from this I need to move on from this I need to recognize this use your suffering as your medicine when you feeling that dock no the reason I'm feeling dock is not because the dock is my illness the way I was thinking was already the illness this is now the outcome of that I was have holding on to expectations that was my illness my do is now my reminder my suffering is now my reminder saying you weren't right in the first place place the very reason you're feeling sad is because you weren't right in the first place we think when I'm happy everything is all right that's not when it's all right when I'm content that's when everything is all right use your suffering as your medicine happiness is the disease because in happiness you don't remember in sadness you can remember so so can you use this dok to actually move past the duk itself use duk as a way to understand that the reason I'm feeling this dok is because I'm not accepting hookum use duk as a way to change that duk into acceptance and you have to let go of whatever idea that you have of what life should be like if you have an expectation of what life should be like that's the idea you have to let go of if you have a trauma that you've been through your dock your suffering is that I want my life to go back to how it was before before all this happened I can even accept that it happened but I want my life to go back to it I want it to be like it never happened expectation you're saying I expected my life to stay like that the reality says says we're moving somewhere else we're going this way now are you coming with me or are you going to fight it because we're going this way so you will have a new reality don't hold on to your old reality whatever life was like before that's how it was before now make a new reality make a new Direction in life find a new way to be happy you used to be happy before the trauma happened so that means you know how to be happy use this and say right how can I be happy in this scenario and that means that you have to accept the whole universe at every moment as it's happening you have to accept it everything and everyone is hookum everything is everything and everyone is in h nobody is outside of this system you know how we like to think of hookum how we like to think of God hookum is in charge of all the big things in life have you ever heard that like hookum decides when I'm getting married when I'm going to die when I'm going to get how many children and all these sorts of things but my free will is I can decide if I wake up in the morning I want to have a cup of tea or I want to have a cup of coffee that's my free will I can decide that God you do all the big stuff leave all the small things to me Duality that's what Duality is hokam says everything is you even my decision whether I'm going to have tea or coffee this morning that's not my decision that's you working through me that's what hookum is at all moments of life and the question is can we accept hookum you press the button on the coffee machine the coffee machine's broken now you're having neither tea you're having neither coffee it's all broken the hot water is not coming nothing's working can you accept it or are you going to hold on to such tiny things but I need my coffee in the morning without my coffee I can't start my day how many people think like this I have to have my coffee I can't function without it then you're setting yourself up for do one day the coffee machine is not going to work you're setting yourself up and then the rest of your day goes in a huff and a puff they said why is this person in such a bad mood or they haven't had their coffee today such simple small things if you're not able to accept something so small how are you going to deal with the big things in life we have to change our thinking guruji is about trying to teach us a new way of thinking and we have to remind ourselves at every moment the Frozen M Let It Go you're not going to forget that one right you have to see right now what is my trauma right now what is life like at this very moment forget the past forget the future what is life right right now am I in trauma right now or am I holding on to some past trauma remind yourself at every moment become accepting that where you are right here right now is where you're meant to be this is how life is life is complete as it is right now this is what it means means when we say hookum is perfect the universe is perfect the infinite wisdom of the universe knows what it's doing and it's complete right now I don't need to question the universe who am I I'm nothing so we create our own do we create our own suffering what is a worry when you worry about something what does it mean it means that I have some fear of something that might happen in the future that's what a worry is it might happen in the future nobody knows what's actually going to happen in the future but something might happen in the future and we just start getting stressed you know they say that about 80% of the things that you're afraid of will never actually happen so that's 80% of your do of worries and fears oh maybe this will happen maybe that will happen those don't actually even happen what have you wasted all of that energy over about a future that you don't know whether it's going to happen or not but hookum is not about past or future it's about what's happening right now so you're holding on to your past you're holding on to your future and all of those things are distracting you from what is happening in this very moment life is passing you by and you're getting lost in your thoughts your thoughts about the future or the past and in those thoughts you're missing something life is passing you by right now and that's what the past and the future actually are they're just thoughts did you know that the past is a thought it's not a reality reality means now reality means what's happening now the past is not a reality it's an idea the future is not a reality it's an idea it's a thought there is only one reality that reality is now and we call that hookum and as real as your memories may be you have to understand that the trauma of the past is now no longer a reality it's just a thought trauma of the past memories is not a reality anymore that happened but nobody else is holding on to that past only you are holding on to it right now so as real and as pain painful as it may seem you have to heal yourself by knowing that this is something I need to let go I'm just holding on to it in my mind let this become your practice Let It Go Let It Go your hookum is fine your hookum is perfect don't have any expectations lose your expectations your expectation is saying I think I want the universe to behave like this but the universe doesn't care about your expectations it's going to do what it's going to do so lose your expectations they're only causing you grief they're only causing your own pain and suffering let this become your Nam Simon let this become your practice every moment of every day you have to be aware of what's Happening Now in the complete Perfection of the moment and Guru says that in this awareness in this present moment of now Nam will settle your mind n will give you that peace and all your desires will be fulfilled so I hope this has given you just a little bit of an insight into how we can solve some of our own problems

Channel: Nanak Naam

Views: 48,805

Keywords: Looking at life beyond the ego, if there is a god why do bad things happen, a holistic approach to wellbeing, stress is caused by fear, expectations lead to sadness, simplifying the reasons for our suffering, reality is a spectrum of all possibilities, reality is perfection, seeing reality for what it really is, why does sadness happen, how to stop blaming others for your unhappiness, your thoughts are making you happy or sad, we create our own suffering

Id: g9JCsgP74y4

Length: 62min 31sec (3751 seconds)

Published: Fri May 22 2020