Why Discipline Must Come From Within - Jocko Willink

I saw a weakness in you on your latest podcast you seem to overlook the fact that some infant children were raised in undisciplined environments with undisciplined parents they grow up having modeled these undisciplined examples I hate the fact that I have gross undisciplined behavior solving this is a major priority in my life you have zero idea of what it of what this experience is like for me you seem blind to this struggle like a father who would ignore their child struggle and offer only the words mana so this is a good question and I I see where this guys coming from for sure and I know that it can be very very frustrating to try and become disciplined and I apologize that I haven't talked about the fact of what to do if you come from an undisciplined family or you have undisciplined parents I haven't really talked about what to do in that situation but there's a reason that I haven't talked about that before and that is because you don't get discipline from your parents you don't get discipline from your parents from your grandparents from your older brothers and sisters you don't get discipline from an external source you have to get it from you that's what self-discipline is you get it from yourself you get it from you so there's people from every possible background from no parents to crazy parents to you no drug-addicted parents to super squared away parents and everywhere in between on that spectrum that are completely disciplined people more disciplined than anyone I know it doesn't come from your parents you don't inherit it and there's another piece here it's called ownership right it's called ownership and if you're if you want to blame other people for the problem and say this all the time if you don't take ownership of the problem the problems don't get solved so if you blame your parents for not having raised you in a disciplined environment you're not gonna solve that problem you're looking at your parents saying if you would have done a better job being more disciplined for me I would be more discipline now so that means that means you can't do anything the fact the matter is it's wrong you actually can do something and it doesn't matter what do how your parents raised you and brought you up you can have the discipline you need to decide to do it so as long as you're blaming other people I mean if you blame me from not discussing it you blame me for having zero idea what that experience is like you blame your parents for not raising you this way as long as you're blaming other people as long as you're counting on other people to give you discipline as long as you do that you will not have it so again I I'm sorry I should have made that I should make that more clearly I'm trying to make it more clearly now and like my parents my parents are are good people they had successful careers as as educators in public schools and my mom eventually became went into school administration and my dad taught in high school for 30-something years and they were good hard-working people and but I'll tell you they were no they were no extraordinary preachers of discipline and I'll tell you I act I I never remember either one of them ever using the term or referring to discipline in any way you know and actually both my parents worked they both worked a lot my dad was coaching sports and we're doing after school stuff my mom's same things like we were on our own a bunch but my parents were gone in the morning we got ourselves to school when we got home in afternoon they weren't home you know so it wasn't like they were setting up this rigid disciplined manner for me right and and you can see this with families many many different families there's families that have kids that the parents are very disciplined and the kids are wild mm-hm sometimes that problematically so right kids that come from really good families but they get addicted to drugs lack of discipline kids that come from really good families but they they spin out of control and go in the wrong direction and there's also the opposite which is hey the parents weren't around or the parents were abusive or the parents were drug addicts and and all the cousins the kid the kid comes out of that and is squared away is awesome and we saw that all the time the SEAL Teams and I've said that before on this program doesn't matter it doesn't matter where your background is is what you decide to do yeah and I'll tell you another thing it's not even from the military like the military requires discipline obviously but there's plenty of people in the military that don't have it right and and many poor many people lose their discipline when they leave the mulch because not being imposed on them anymore so I mean just go look around I mean being in the military does not make you a disciplined person being from a discipline family does not make you a discipline person being in a discipline group does not make you a discipline person what makes you a discipline person is choosing to be disciplined so yeah I I and also as far as telling people to man up which you know when someone says how do I get up early every day I say get up early every day how do I stop eating sugar stop eating sugar look that's the definition of mana but obvious it's not just men that need discipline in their life I don't think I use that term but what I do tell people is to get after it that's what I tell people to get after it you know I tell people to do the things that they know they're supposed to do right there's things that you know you're supposed to do as a human being things that you know are going to improve your life do those things there's things that you know are gonna make you a worse person and make your life worse don't do those things do the things that are making you weaker start doing the things that are gonna make you stronger and smarter and faster and healthier and gonna make you a better human being and I'll say the same thing to this guy you want to be more disciplined get after it that's it get up early do some kind of workout eat good foods clean your room make a list of things that you're supposed to do in your life and then wake up in the morning and do those things that you put on the list that's what discipline is and know it is not easy but you're not gonna get it from anyone else but you and it's worth it and it is the thing that is going to bring you freedom that's the key word right there when he said it's worth it you know what I think this is what I think I think like in an environment as like how he put it an undisciplined environment I mean or something like that where he grew up in an undisciplined environment I don't obviously that's a very vague expression right undisciplined infirm yeah that got meaning that could mean a lot of yeah a lot of different things so a lot of times like when you're brought up in a certain environment basically you're kind of taught or or not taught like like the value of certain things so if you use like I don't know working out or whatever right so I'm gonna use myself as an example my dad is an athlete you know not a superior athlete but he was you know he knew like working out was a part of life and stuff like that and you know in elementary school we're doing sports and stuff like that you know some people they don't do that at all so and when they grow up into adulthood the some people straight up have never worked out before never been in the gym and you know so growing up there they were never taught the value of what work you know does for you they never taught so they can't appreciate it they just simply don't know the value sure they see people with you know you know they're in shape where they can do these things and they're very functional whatever they see that of course but they don't have that value they don't feel that value they just never learned so it can come off as like this thing for other people you know like oh that's what other people do kind of thing so they don't understand the value so back to the point in their mind this weird the connection is not made that it's worth it because they don't know the value of it really but if you do know the value of it and then you can decide okay is this worth it is it worth it to wake up every day and in quote-unquote get after it for this particular goal or this particular set of goals so that's what it is and I think sure the undisciplined environment can maybe provide that but I think you're right I think that once you're like oh yeah that's worth it yeah you know how people they'll find reasons when it's worth the even though they've never experienced like you know like a person who has a heart attack or something is like and they have kids young kids are some they have a heart attack life maybe never worked out ever in their life they have a heart attack they almost died they're like guess what I'm working out every single day I'm a vegetarian now you know like doing major major changes that they've never even thought about making and they'll do it because they decided it's worth it and they'll be disciplined they'll find that discipline real quick no matter how they're trained as you know their environment in there because now I see that it's gonna be worth it that's it yeah and if if it's not worth it to you and that I think is what you develop the value of work you know the value of you develop you can develop that from anywhere that's one of that's but essentially that has really developed that from any any you can develop that from from anywhere yeah yeah you can get it from a parent you can get it from yeah exactly right exactly right but the discipline itself just like I said that's gonna come from you your parents can teach it but guess who has to you still you it's still you and you can go to the military to specifically learn discipline when you leave it's on you who's it yeah exactly right and just like I said like yeah I know people who are done with the military and are glad they're done with that right they're glad with this waking up early they're they're a baby they were six months they're out of shape they're not doing anything productive it's it's horrible to see you know but it happens happens with the military it happens with anything yeah when kids get out of high school sports you know and all of a sudden they don't want enough to do that I don't have to listen to coach yeah yeah crazy - don't listen to coach listen to yourself yourself yeah determine whether or not it's worth it and I'm telling you that you don't need to determine I'm telling you it's worth it oh yeah I'm telling you it is working and you know what you actually know it's worth it that's why you're asking this question you know it's worth it you know it's worth it to have discipline but you think there's an easier way you think that it's something that people have you think that when Jacko's alarm clock goes off it's like oh just like my father taught me I rise and I shine you know like no I it's like the pillow feels soft and comfortable and the alarm clock is banging on my head and I don't like it you know what I know it's worth it to get up and get after it I know it's worth it and you know it's worth it here's the thing though we all know it's worth it is it in a way you're right but like really though really I'm gonna be open and honest with you I don't think that the people know it's worth it I think they know it's worth it like the kind on paper they have a multiple choice question is it worth it yes or no they'll be like yes obviously I know working out is worth it but here's the thing I don't if you don't know if you don't like like having good credit for example so I never got taught like why really my mom said yeah you should have good credit that's it that's the limit to my education on credit right so of course I blow it because they get you know I fall for literally all the tricks it's self-inflicted and otherwise credit gets jammed up so I don't know I don't know the value I don't know I have never experienced the benefits of having good girl you of good credit so it really didn't mean much to me really my credit was like junk and I didn't care until I got denied for something that I cared you know but just like if you're never into working out until you're in a specific situation what show but but but like this guy that's asking this question and glad he's asking a question I'm I'm not I'm trying I'm not trying to come off all hard but he realizes he realizes the value of discipline cuz he's saying that he wants it right he knows that it's gonna make his life better yeah and and that's why I think he's got and jammed up in whatever way we don't know cuz I don't know maybe he's gotten unhealthy maybe he's you know who knows maybe he's gotten his finances jammed up whatever the case may be he knows that discipline is better for them him he knows that he does know this isn't a guy that doesn't know yet cuz sure there's people that don't you know when you're 16 years old you don't know the value of discipline you don't know that the what your the way you're acting right now is gonna affect you in five years you don't know you can set yourself your whole life up to be pretty awesome you know you don't know that yet you're just like worried about where you're going on a Friday night right yeah so this guy knows and he wants it and he's looking for where he can find it and where he can find it is in the mirror yeah that's where it is you know so do it brother good luck get on the path and stay on the path yeah and that's gonna be beneficial when you do that I've harshly maintaining that like not knowing that value is a big is a big thing it's kind of like okay so back to my credit thing I there is a point at the end where okay so you know like I don't know 10 years ago or whatever I repaired my credit my credit was repaired I thought I went through it was painstaking not fun stuff no but I did it got my credit repaired and now I know the value because as an adult I'm functioning it's useful now you know so now I know the value of having good credit because I've been through all the things that having good credit brings you through you know now I'm thinking I'll never go back to bedrock right never it's right every single day I'm telling you that I agree with what you're saying yeah I agree with her you're saying I'm saying that this guy knows the value and that's why he wants it yeah it's like when you freight realize that you got denied for something and you were like oh oh credit has value I understand that something happened in his life where he said discipline has value I know that now yeah but you did credit repair and in what you said was okay I need to go out and repair my credit you didn't say hey you know what my mom didn't tell me about bad credit and now I have bad credit yeah yeah so now now what am I supposed to do you know who repaired your credit who repaired your credit well it was a combination of my wife and I but but who repaired your credit yeah we'd yes yeah you took responsibility for it and said okay I'm gonna get my credit card she's smarter than you yes she was like hey I will I will help this but it was you that said okay I got to get this fixed mm-hmm and you got help but you knew to reach out for help but you're the one that ultimately is responsible for it yeah you're right about that like I didn't like I didn't blame my parents and then continue having that good right no right like they said no I gotta get Val this is this thing has credit has value I need to fix it yeah and you fixed it you know regardless where it came from regardless so oh you know oh you don't know how to work out cool then you go hire a personal trainer because you know it's gonna it's the right thing to do you don't even oh you don't know how to repair your finances cool go get a counselor that's gonna help you repair your finances oh you're addicted to drugs or alcohol okay I'm gonna go find a counselor or join a group so I can get through that thing yeah no one's gonna hold your hand and bring you into the any of those situations you got to do it yourself you got the discipline to make it happen

Channel: Jocko Podcast

Views: 2,506,700

Keywords: discipline, freedom, military, extreme ownership, leadership, advice, jocko willink, echelon front, navy seal, jocko podcast, excerpt, echo charles, leader, lead, win, defcor, discipline equals freedom

Id: 9OF06n1jNkM

Length: 16min 26sec (986 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 20 2020