When Your Boss Is Annoying AF - Maria Bamford

when i was a kid um i like to mimic commercials a lot and there's this great commercial out right now where um it's from makeup and it's melanie griffith she's getting all mad she's like she's like don't deny your age defy it it's like taking on the beauty business from the inside you go working girl i want i want to do one i'd be i'd be like i'd be like my old lip color could barely keep up with my busy schedule the time it takes to notice the wide discrepancy between my salary and none of my male peers that have to reapply oh oh and the seconds to count the number of women in high political offices seated on corporate executive boards and featured in film and television of the age of 40. my lip color would be as invisible as this glass ceiling only just above my head yeah hey hey because i am worth it and because holding myself to an impossible standard of beauty keeps me from starting a riot i uh i love tv my favorite show i don't know if you guys seen this um e celebrity homes with suzanne senna that's a great show they have uh they have much they also have like some tv celebrity like meredith baxter bernie walking around her castle her she's saying stuff like uh um this this is the kitchen this this is where my heart is my husband and i we decided to move to malibu because we just love the fresh air and the ocean and and to walk out on our own private beach was was really important to us let's go take a look the view say i want to have my own show called comedian homes we just go to the apartments of my friends um this is this is the kitchen um this is where the the bathroom the bedroom and this is really where the 400 square feet of my apartment is we and when i say we i mean myself my miniature hamster bonita we decided to move to downtown los angeles koreatown because they don't check your credit references and that was really really important to us i support the ladies i'm a ladiest um but sometimes sometimes it's hard when you work for like a lady boss like especially when she tries that cause she's your friend calls you honey and sweetheart and girlfriend hey [Music] i want you to take a break take a walk get me a latte and it's two percent milk you should know that by now [Music] i am having a pate at my house this weekend and i really want you to come and meet some really cute really available men at the door park their cars take their coats and speak only when spoken too i want you to know that i see us as equals as partners even though iron what is it eight hundred and fifty percent more than you do get that two minute memo cause i've gotta go drive aimlessly around los angeles looking for caves and tunnels from where i can call you with my cell phone uh sometimes i get kind of a bad attitude at work stop being a team player forget why i started temping in the first place which was to make a difference remember one day one day i was uh sitting in the employee kitchen drinking non-dairy creamer straight from the carton and a girlfriend she came out to me and she said hey maria i've been taking this class that's really changed my life would you like to come tonight it's at 7 30 pm at the doubletree santa monica there's no obligation and it's free sure i'll join your cult i always wanted to be in one you know get to wear a uniform you have any major life questions check the manual there is a god there is a plan and the spaceship is coming so i went they sent me down with the guru she said ryan what's something you want to make manifest in your life like a new car what do you really want a new new car what do you really want toyota 4runner sr5 limited leather that runs on dreams and starlight she got mad at me because i didn't have the cash for the brainwash weekend ray let's think of all the ways we can get 495 dollars tonight do you have a charge card nope do you have something you could sell that last soul might be or something is there is there anyone you could borrow it from oh man if you could spot me ray what are you afraid of bears what are you afraid of the north american grizzly what are you afraid of god it's weird because i'm i'm most afraid of being sucked into a crazy creepy cult why why am i so free oh man she said i was afraid of success which may in fact be true because i have a feeling that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 154,038

Keywords: Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Stand-Up Presents, Maria Bamford comedian, Maria Bamford stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, mimic, commercials, make up, age, beauty, glass ceiling, worth it, standards, tv show, celebrity, homes, kitchen, beach, view, lady, boss, temp, temping, class, cult, guru, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: 5fFYOJnKh0E

Length: 7min 43sec (463 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 14 2021