When Did you Realize it was TIME to get a DIVORCE? - Reddit Podcast

divorced men what moment made you realize it's time for a divorce when my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps wiggling and hoping for a reaction you have some good buddies man super awkward when your buddy's wife is finding any excuse to touch or rub you if you say something you risk causing a fight or him not believing you if you say nothing you're a bad person I was a lance corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck back to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus is- 350 because she got a good deal on it apparently I was supposed to pay the $800 a month bill I didn't think it was a good deal my friend got a pretty substantial year-end bonus from work he decided to use most of it for his wife's Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans about $155,000 and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed about3 $0000 Christmas morning he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport we all woke up and had breakfast his family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts besides paying for her loans he had gotten her a few items she opened the card saying her loans were paid off and she just sat there for a minute after the silence and assuming she was kind of in shock she asked did you seriously not get me anything else I brought you that stupid keyboard she got him the wrong one by the way and you only got me a few things at that point his brother-in-law and myself decided to hang out in another room for a while while they ended up getting into a huge fight a day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce I'd been seeing a girl for 6 months I knew she was unstable and explosive but I was in love with her good side and also kind of an idiot she convinced me to move in with her then convinces me we need a new kitchen a new bathroom new couch new TV and she also needs a driver's license since she was permanently broke I paid for it all like a good boyfriend does then I broke my leg she took care of me for a few days then said I could do my own grocery shopping and make my own dinner since she wasn't my mother mind you we lived on the third floor of an apartment building and there was no elevator well I was up to my knee and cast the week after she went out with friends most nights of the week using my car and told me to do all of the groceries when I didn't she yelled at me that I was just leeching off her and that I was a lazy worthless sack of crap just laying there on the couch that I bought and that she always had to do everything and never got her anything I turned down the TV that I brought and for the first time since we had met I just gave in and let the hate flow through me and blasted her with every b word thing she did just yelling from the couch but it felt great letting it all out she then kicked me out for insulting her and told me she hadd been banging a dude from work all week anyway well the losses up until that point suck but it seems like he might have dodged a bullet in the long term there hope you got all your furniture back when she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her the next week she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying he gave me a you should leave this relationship look I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn't making the wrong decision got divorced and never looked back I legitimately feared for my safety to W the end not that she'd hurt me but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend she let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all of her girlfriends during a girl's night out since I knew there was no possible way it was my child she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair I can math she can't it was with her boss we were at a point in our relationship where we were fighting all the time so I just slept in the guest bedroom so I wouldn't have to hear her screeching but for some reason on Father's Day that's how I remembered the exact date she came upstairs and basically forced herself on me when she told me we're pregnant I want to tell all my friends oh joy I asked her when the doctor expected her due date then I did the math 7 and 1/2 months does not a baby make finally got a prenatal paternity test out of her I think she still believed she had nined my baby inside of her and the truth came out and I finally just told her just tell me the truth we can work through anything then she fessed up my lie was that I was going to work through anything I had already had divorce proceedings in the works lawyered up the next day and he ate her alive in court I got primary custody of our child we already had and child support and a sheriff's notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days I never knew she could be that stupid I realized when a friend's wife said to me you know your wife is sleeping with my husband right I mean that's a pickup line If Ever I knew one I mean we might as well well I knew mine was over the morning I saw a picture of some guy's eggplant on her phone she was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings your honor I would like to present exhibit D into evidence when she staged a robbery of our house so she could fence off all of my stuff for smack money when my stepdaughter became a teenager my ex ramped up the nuto she'd always been an impatient angry screamer of her parents but as my step-daughter became a young woman my ex just went crazy with Envy or something I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters but their base level patience is so much better than my ex's was threats of cutting the daughter's hair in the middle of the night while she slept pulling hair slapping face ridiculing her in front of her friends swinging something that missed and putting a hole in the wall I was out and I took the kids with me my wife was around less and less had to be free to live her life go out with with her friends more often than not she would call me to pick up our daughter from daycare after promising to pick her up and have some girl time with her she'd say to just tell the daughter she was working late or not feeling very well she always had something better to do and the kids were old enough to know better I went to pick up our daughter one day and when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn't mom again and slumped her shoulders and slowly walked over to ask what's her excuse this time that was the breaking point I told her to get out and even helped pay her security deposit to get her out this one hits close to home with me my dad and mom were never married and I was two when they broke up but my mom was supposed to be there for me she would make all sorts of promises to come hang out with me and pick me up and do things but nine times out of 10 she wouldn't show I remember getting excited if she showed up for one of my birthdays how sad is that she should have been there regardless she always had these dumb excuses as to why she couldn't come it broke my heart my mom has been dead for 3 years now I'm 22 and all I can think about when I think of her is I hope I never damage a child the way she damaged me tell your daughter some internet stranger sends her empathetic love my wife made me watch Oprah which was grounds enough but there was also a quiz it was an is your marriage okay or not kind of thing in my head I saw seven or 10 items that were not okay my wife didn't see any we'd already been to counseling question one does your husband enjoy watching Oprah huh well of course he's sitting right here with me him I wonder if I can accidentally pour bleach in my eyes I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her was going through her Google photos account looking for pictures of them together I came across a selfie she took of some guy lying on top of her confirmed her second Affair I knew it was over the moment I saw it that has messed me up pretty good we flew across the country for her sister's wedding she didn't say a word to me the entire time since since we had parked at the airport once we landed at our destination we walked to baggage claim absolute silence proceeding for several hours now at the carousel I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hands and calmly stated none of my family knows you're here I told them I came alone she walked out of the airport and left me there narcissistic personality disorder made for some really fun scenarios during the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically manipulative she was was a narcissist controlled my every move would isolate me refused physical contact I was just an extension of her life was not allowed to talk to any woman and was not allowed to hang out with any friends or should just ignore me for up to 5 days at a time double standards everywhere verbal attacks and the list can continue but it hurts to think about the last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I'd be home late it was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day this was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week she agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn't thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and now I'm Happily Divorced yeah look I know that in some cases divorce is rated as a highly stressful life event immediately behind deaths in one's close family but it doesn't always have to be that way unfortunately it's probably only a good life event when it follows several years of extreme hardship when she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me lying next to each other on the couch watching Blue's Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my inappropriate conduct around our kids thank God he saw right through that bull crap immediately and told her to knock us off we've been divorced almost 5 years now the process isn't fair but that really wasn't my ex's fault no allegations of inappropriate behavior with my kids or misconduct with were brought up against me during the proceedings so that was all good they wouldn't have flown for a minute in court anyway our kids are older now and every day are becoming better equipped to see and understand the difference between what's reasonable and right and what's simply just bat crap insane and it's not working out all that well for their mother who hasn't changed her Mo much if at all since we parted ways so it goes I'm happily remarried now with a woman with kids of her own kids who were friends and schoolmates of my kids before she and I even got to know each other they're all our kids now life is good no more Shenanigans you can submit your own stories to be featured here on the channel the story submission link is in the description below and if you want to listen to some viby music in the background check out easy mode also linked below and subscribe I had a friend who went through this and there were so many lies leveled at him at one stage even his computer was seized by police after she alleged he had inappropriate material featuring children on it it was so demoralized ing the only way he could see his kids was through supervised visits a couple of things were in his favor though the staff where he had to go and see his kids could tell he was genuine he never once reacted to his ex either which showed his character he'd completely lose his crap when it was just me and him though understandably about 6 months in the police returned his computer and found nothing obviously this was a major turning point for his case his behavior throughout was spotless he's actually a really gentle and caring guy meanwhile his ex was wck up DUI charges which also helped that was around 4 years ago now he's had soulle custody ever since remarried to a nice girl who's their mom now the ex just lost interest which is sad but good that she's not interfering also I used to love doing ches for her because she loved being taken care of when she stopped noticing it started hurting then one day I made a bench far entryway out of Barnwood took about 40 hours of work she walked in the house after work that day and set her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me she stormed out of the house grabbing her purse never noticed the bench was there I knew then but I think she already knew when my 2-year-old was learning to walk he would constantly say another guy's name apparently he was there from the moment I left work until I got home single dad for 5 years with primary custody now finding her on Christmas Eve still sending racy messages to a coworker whom she claimed she was was no longer in contact with having been busted doing this to him previously I cleared out of there like a blackjack dealer when I as the only earner in the house was denied buying a new pair of work boots in December because she needed the money to buy vaccines for the puppies she bred dogs as a hobby I was a framing Carpenter in Ohio my current work boots were toast holes in both no souls I needed them her puppy vaccine story was bull crap by the away her hobby was dogs but she was a pro at popping pills that's what she needed the money for I was done with her by March when after being in Afghanistan for 8 months from May of o02 to November of o02 she was missing she had my car I found two random women with kids and pets living in the apartment I paid for the electricity cut off no money in my bank account and a Pay Advance authorized by my commander and a friend telling me to go easy on her because she was 5 months pregnant with with his kid oh and he had had heart surgery to remove some kind of cyst from his heart just before I left he was 23 had a pacemaker and basically half a heart if I scared him he could die I'd say that was the moment I realized I hope you snuck up behind him and popped an inflated paper bag real aggressive like I found out she had cheated on me and upon me confronting her to discuss it she manipulated me into thinking she was about to take her own life then she admitted the manipulation I was done she may have once been a nice person but that's all gone now forgot to mention that I found out because she had left her Facebook open with a conversation about her pregnancy scares with her friend we hadn't done the deed in a bit more than a month when she moved out while I was camping with two of our sons and there was no discussion of whether her leaving was permanent or potentially temporary in her view my neighbor's wife screaming putan downstairs after she caught my bride and her husband screwing in front of the fireplace this happened to one of my parents' friends both couples did a swap and are now happily married my dad cheated on my mom when I was 12 a couple of weeks after she kicked him out my mom started dating my dad's girlfriend's husband I hated all of them not my wife but my fiance I just called it off because we were house hunting and she kept wanting to look at houses that would accommodate an extra permanent guest her estranged father who she was wanting to reinitiate ties with but she wouldn't admit she was doing this I found out from a a buddy that she was wanting me to lay out the money for the down payment and then was going to break it off herself and fight like hell to keep the house 2 years down the drain but a lifetime of fortunate near miss when I saw the text to her lover that said something to the effect of I miss your eggplant in my butt and I had some fun in the gym shower thinking of you b word never sent me texts like that in 10 years of marriage I still have the text saved somewhere in the divorce file this was not the first Affair but it was the one that finished it for me I enjoyed a physically emotionally and mentally taxing relationship for over 6 years with my first wife four of which we were married for there were many many instances that should have caused our marriage's demise the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back though was 8 days after I had major oral surgery due to a freak medical occurrence I had to have 28 teeth cut out and two holes drilled into my sinus cavities from top of the back of my gums she and I were in a grocery store parking lot and I asked her not to start an argument in the store because it's a small town and I was so tired of being those people her reaction was to backhand me in the mouth six times or at least I counted six times because I'm pretty darn sure I lost Consciousness I just remember waking up when we were pulling into our driveway while she's freaking out because my face is against the window and blood is coming from my mouth like a fountain from those of you wondering why I picks a forum from the perspective of the husbands rather than both the spouses let me just say I don't enjoy reading stories like the last one and they are a lot more prevalent from the wife's perspective sadly so try to view it less as cherry-picking and more trying not to get too dispirited with my work this video should not be taken as an indication that women are more awful than men in these situations when she said you didn't pray hard enough and that's why our son has cancer that's why I'm sleeping with my prayer partner that woman takes the cake for queen of rationalizations this is the first one that made me look up and mouth what the Frick I was at work and got a call from my grandparents that she had shot our dog Zoe that was laying on the bed with her we were separated before that for other reasons but that's when I ponied up a few grand and went to an attorney to file I really miss her the dog I mean I left for work at 6:00 a.m. and forgot to unplug the toaster when I arrived home at 600 p.m. I was given the everything you've ever done to te me off speech Just for leaving the toaster plugged in I asked her what she did all day that prevented her from unplugging it herself another long speech about why I'm the butthole I said something to the effect of quit acting like your freaking mother she threw the cat at me a cat she threw a freaking cat at me Scuba Steve went on to live with me after the official separation and divorce our marriage ended after our daughter at 3 years old told us to stop yelling when she asks me to take the kids on some errands has kept me celibate for months saying she just doesn't want to do the deed with anyone anymore and once I leave invites some guy over to tongue lash her for 45 minutes and then drop a load inside her in the bedroom without using protection all on the day before Father's Day thanks Amy not divorced yet this happened last week her life is in such a shambles I'm not even mad I was on deployment and she yelled at me for interrupting her family's celebration when I called on Christmas the first time I thought it I was working late in the daycare calls and asked if I'm picking my kids up I left work to go get them and when I got home she was gone didn't hear anything from her for 2 weeks for the second time i' bailed the house out of foreclosure three times because she wouldn't pay the bills even though there was money in the accounts to cover it I closed the account handed her cash for the mortgage packed a bag with my kids and left we had a trial separation and lived apart for a month during this time I vented off some of my frustrations to one of my best friends come to find said friend was effing my wife behind my back they both attempted to manipulate my emotions so I wouldn't think anything was suspicious but godamn my intuition always had my back always trust your gut folks even when your head isn't where it should be when I found evidence of the last Affair as soon as I heard it I knew it was the end and there would never be anything else there I found out on a Sunday first thing Monday I was scaring the internet for a place to rent I kept her in the dark for the next month until everything was set when she got home from work I handed her my ring and told her I wanted a divorce and I left we met and spent the first s years of our married life on the west coast then moved East 5 years later I took a job on the west coast but it was middle of the school year so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me things hadn't been very good between us for a while but I hadn't articulated it to her or even myself Beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction one weekend out there on my own I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns towns a town in which I had lived long before I knew her a town we had visited often while married it was late afternoon and I was about to head back to my hotel when I realized I could visit a particular Beach that had a special meaning to me from my earlier life there I stopped at a convenience store grabbed a gr schlik that I used to drink on that beach and drove out there hiked out to a specific spot I remembered sat down popped the beer and looked out over the ocean and it hit me that I hadn't done that in over 20 years whenever we'd visit the area I'd suggest stopping down at the beach but she wasn't interested and would always veto the idea I'm sure reading this it seems like the tiniest thing but it was the Catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship I think from the time I sat down I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes just sitting there sipping my beer looking at the ocean when we went on family vacation and I hoped she'd sleep the entire time so I could have fun with our son my sister said something similar about her ex he had to go out of town for a business trip and she found that being a single parent was less work than having him be around then he did the deed with one of her friends and her first thought was finally an excuse to kick him out feels like vacations are a good litmus test to see if you're both still in love there's a sports journalist I follow who takes his wife on holiday every year to do a sort of intervention to reassess their relationship and family goals when I went on my final vacation with my family parents and brother included everyone just fought with each other and it made me realize how dysfunctional we were and that was just better for me to move out ASAP when you subscribe make sure to hit the Bell to turn on notifications put the playlist on in the background to finish listening to all the stories or if you want some viby music to put on in the background check out easy mode if you like am I the genius give am I the jerk a shot everything Linked In the description

Channel: Am I the Genius?

Views: 18,071

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Id: _ru_CufIkTg

Length: 21min 51sec (1311 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 06 2024