What To Consider When Dating Younger Men

time I do a real I get my DMs full of women who are absolutely falling in love with men that are considerably younger than them and in the other two videos I have actually spoken about the pitfalls the gains the losses but today we just want to have a conversation um you know about stuff that maybe I didn't mention in that video and in those videos because I know that you want to have more and more of this conversation because unfortunately it is not going anywhere and neither is it new on the earth nothing is new Under the Sun this has been going on for centuries gone by and in ancient times and you know women older women were used to train younger men how to be great lovers so whilst this is new to our culture and usually people would hide it out of Shame and guilt and fear we now live in a world where everybody is coming out and saying hey this is what we like you know the younger men are like we like a bit of an older girl and the older women are like okay maybe I'll give this a go whichever place or space you're at in the matrix it's worth having the conversation so that you can probably figure out where you stand in the larger conversation because if you're a woman watching this you probably have been approached if you're single you've been approached by a younger man and perhaps you've told him to go and find somebody his age or maybe you've reminded him that you're old enough to be his mother or you have actually taken that step I know a few of my clients who have actually taken that road and Found Love in that direction it's not easy but I'm really interested in what you think coach ion hey there Swan have you ever considered that it wasn't you who found this channel but rather this channel Found You the video you're watching didn't simply happen to you and you didn't just randomly choose to watch it I believe you're meant to be here right now because you are a Black Swan even if you don't realize it yet you see the teacher appears when the student is ready and my dear I believe you're ready but are you willing to embrace the rare and exquisite existence if your answer is yes and only if it's yes I invite you to click the Subscribe button hit the notification Bell and like this video let the journey begin when I say younger man old older woman what comes to mind what are some of the thoughts that come to mind do you know whenever I hear that I suppose it depends on the age of the woman because my thing is like you've got an 18-year-old son right okay let's say that he's now 2022 and he says mom I've been dating this woman oh you're going to absolutely love her right and then he you know oh you say of course uh darling invite her around for dinner right right and he brings in a woman who is years older than you how many years older than me old you and then you know I my um when at first it really uh okay once we're joking the thing about it is if my son was going to bring home a woman who's older than me right I would have a lot to say about it because I would have to find out from him are you mad right because is there no one around your age that would have been my thinking before I became a coach right and now we see I think a lot of a lot of people think that what do you think was that we're going to get to how it's changed cuz clearly something has changed but what do you why do you think why that reaction initially why would you think something what what do you think would have been going on inside of you why that reaction I think is because this is a young boy right and you know you said in the introduction that older women were there to teach the uh young men how to be great uh you know good lovers and if that's part of your culture then that's fine but on this side of the pond that's not heard of right if it does happen it's happening underground that people don't you know know about and then when it comes out and you find out what the person's been doing it's uh it can be quite jarring uh you know to you when you hear but you're teaching my son to do what because I think as a mother we think that that part of your child's life is something that they learn about on not necessarily in Sex Ed but you know with yes you know they practice they do what you know teens or those in their 20s would uh be doing it wouldn't be with an older woman who would teach them and I understand that right you know because at the end of the day as you rightly said the Bible says you know the older women are to teach the younger women right and I suppose you would expect the older men to teach the younger men give them a few uh you knowbe we should ask PJ if older men if they do teach younger men I mean I I don't know I don't know if if older men sit down with younger men and go right I I I don't I can't imagine that because I can't imagine like my maybe my dad for instance when my dad was alive I can't imagine my dad sitting down with my nephew right and saying well this is what you do and this is how you do it and you know you uh you know you don't do that you do this and if you do this then they'll like it I just can't imag maybe the gentleman write in the comments do you actually sit around gentlemen and talk about how to be good lovers maybe they do I don't know this is very interesting but I don't think men sit down and have whole conversations I think women do for sure definitely sit around and do oh you should do this let me show you how to do that for sure certainly in my culture but I don't know if men do that perhaps they do maybe we do a little bit of research around that yes but what I am kind of interested in really is kind of cuz I I I have an idea of what I would think initially myself as well but what would what's wrong with an older woman doing the teaching she's got more experience so you obviously would have thought she's taking advantage of him what do you think what what's the I that you'd have experienced before what was the IG about because what's an older woman going to do give him a disease is she going to no isn't him it wasn't so much about what was she going to give him yeah my thing was okay is he going to use her that was my whole thing about it because you've got this young virile good-look man right and he's with somebody who is late 50s okay the body's good yay she's kept herself up but okay after the pleasure is over what are you guys going to be talking about what conversation is my 22y old going to have with a woman pushing 60 no seriously what come you know you're a CEO of you're used to having people do your thing and here's this little um chap who hasn't even got a job yet he's in uni and he doesn't even have a Saturday job to say that he's earning some extra money so what do you guys talk about he's doing um graphics and art and that kind of thing you have a multic conglomerate that you're running or you've got a sensible job you're a head mistress or you know doing something s what do you speak about after it's over when your guys are finished you as a mother but as a mother why are you is it that you can't find somebody else and it's only this little boy that you could so's taking advantage of your son definely that's what you were thinking like okay she's definitely taking advantage also yeah so what's wrong with you my son what's wrong with you why are you looking at this woman and saying be still my Beating Heart when you're look and you've got a 20-year-old here and a 50y old what's what did I do wrong what really what did I do wrong tell me what did I do wrong was it something I did did I not you know did I not beat you enough did I no you know I I get that and I I know that obviously you know I was very much the same and I I think there will be probably most people watching this right now thinking yeah that's weird and I know you Ed a very extreme example of a 22-year-old and a 6-year-old um that's very rare usually you know there's a 20e I mean it used to be you know quite small even two years used to be like oh my God he younger than me now you know seven years people it so much 10 people can cope but you know we are looking at some couples that are hitting over 20 years and I know that those there's some people watching this that are going yeah what is going on has he lost his mind uh okay she's going to get her feelings her she's being used there's all of this kind of stuff that we that we kind of project onto that dynamic because it's so um we're so conditioned for it to be the other way round yes and I guess as women too we're thinking you know we're looking at a younger guy and we're thinking but you're so naive and so you know what would I want with you I want a little bit more experience or whatever um so I completely understand I think a lot of people would feel that way and I think what's really interesting for us to especially for those of us who are feeling a little bit triggered by the idea I really want us to be aware that a lot of it has to do with our conditioning scripting and kind of the flow of nature if that makes sense um usually the the the older woman uh you know a woman has always gone for older because older was the provider he would be little more established financially a bit wiser could teach her a few things could lead her has a bit more life experience and because the woman emotionally matures faster than the man it was better to get an older man cuz cha they're going to be similar emotional age if that makes sense so that was the case for very very many years and you know obviously things have changed and those dynamics that used to make that the natural progression yeah those Dynamics have changed and guess what everybody's thrown the rule book out and now we're in this kind of No Man's Land and we're doing okay does this make sense why am I angry with it uh why do I feel this revulsion why do I feel this you know situation but you're saying that you had a change of mind or heart I'm not sure if it's a change of heart or mind and what is it and what happened what precipitated that right okay the reason why I had a change of I've shifted my thinking right because you know what as we get older and the women that are dating younger men these are women who've been married and they themselves have been thrown over for a younger model a younger version of themselves and they've still got a lot to give and what surprised me is when you look at the stats out there women between 40 and um 69 sorry 40 and 59 they're the ones that are still they're still viral they've still um you know got it all going on and if she goes out um to uh a bar a restaurant or someone and somewhere or and a young man gives her the eye and she smiles back why not you know okay as you said earlier that my um age limit was a lot exaggerated it's she's not going to be looking at an 18-year-old when she's out and in her 40s I don't think but even if she does it's a case of they would have had a conversation when they met in the conversation they would have talked about their likes dislikes what are you doing um what are you not doing and you know something there was some kind of chemistry there right because if there wasn't a chemistry there um then nobody you know everybody would have gone their separate ways yeah so if there is chemistry there and for whatever time this thing lasts for why not both of you are adults you're both um cons consenting adults you're not it's it what it last the time that it lasts for and both people are enjoying themselves and when it's finished it's over it's done with and there is no regrets right then get on with it you know and it's not a case of there's this revolving door going around for um the woman and I I get it as I've got older and I understand when some of my friends are dating um younger man and you ask why one uh friend said it's the the only people that approach me are the younger men and it's the other way when the older men approach the younger girls so it's kind of evened itself out I suppose the younger men want the young um the older men want the younger girls and the younger boys or men want the older women so it seems like there's been a cross fertilization going on do you get what I mean everyone's getting what they want you know we're not talking we're going to um get married and live happily uh happily ever after you know and to and there is really that though because I think where it was just you know obviously I started off with you know old the women teaching younger men to be better lovers the reality now is that younger men are marrying yes going permanent it's a permanent situation they're getting married I have a a client who's in her 40s uh yeah she's in her 40s and her partner was 24 that same age as her daughter when they met the world went crazy yeah you know her daughter was not having it nobody was having it and you know they are now married they had a wonderful wedding everybody was there everybody's come around uh in every way he's the provider in every way he's the leader of that relationship in every way he is he cherishes her takes the best possible care of her um and they've been together now for gosh I don't know maybe 7 years uh so this is a real relationship thing it's no longer just um a sexual connection which was kind of thought of before yes and um so we have to kind of really realize that you know um I've had to like you sit down and say well if my son brought somebody that was my age or maybe slightly younger I would have to um believe that there's something he St in her and give her a chance to get to know her and I because I raised my son well and is a smart boy so and I actually believe it or not see my son with an older woman and everybody who's met my son yes has said to me I think he's going to marry somebody older because he's always been such an old soul you know if you meet my even when he was seven grown men would come in and he'd be having these big people conversations with them and I remember taking him to the barber shop um the other day I was with him and this man came in and were talking about something and he chimed in to give his opinion very confidently and this man looked at him and was like how old are you right and he was giving all this information then this guy said to this young boy who his son was passing by he said come here come here to this room I want you to listen to a man a boy your age you thinks like a grown man you know and so I I I think he would struggle even now dating women his girls his age because they're not ment emotionally where he is I don't obviously anticipate that she'll be as old as I but uh I'm I wouldn't be surprised you know and I think um you know he would have I would get to know her I can't say I would have thought that way before now I've got a question for you have you or anyone really close to you other than myself you know cuz I'll talk about me in a minute cuz you'd know all my escapades you knowon would know all if I die tomorrow and you want to know all my secrets if van has them but she will never tell dang we can negotiate something maybe if you pay her enough you know um but do have you or anyone close to you ever been in a position where you've been approached by a younger man and thought to yourself good Lord I would have never thought to do that but maybe um and if so what would have been what's the the the the shift for you what would have been the thing to make you think oops okay what would have happened in your body what what happened there tell us a story a fun one okay um most people who know me know that um I was married divorced and remarried him again a few the same guy again yeah married him again um it's been nine years now so yeah and during that um Wilderness period wildness that Wilderness period uh that I was in there was this gentleman that um was interested in me and I thought yeah mhm why not right and I remember on our first date he um we're sitting in the restaurant we were eating and um he looked at me and said I forget how old um he was I think he said he was 29 somewhere around there and I was I think 3 years old old than him at the time oh dear and he said I know um I'm older than you so you're okay oh is that what he said that's what he said and I sat there took a sip of my wine very nicely looked at him and smiled I didn't have the heart to say to him actually love I'm older than you but I thought you know what just let's leave it we're having a um a great evening yeah the relationship didn't it wasn't really a relationship it if it lasted 2 months it lasted a long time and that for me was the only time that I've ever been um approached by somebody younger but when I look back and think of uh this gentleman now to see the two of us walking down the road you wouldn't believe that I was older than him not be um not because I looked oh so fabulous and wonderful but he like you speak of your son's an old soul and life had really done uh one so young uh life had really um Ked him go he was trying to rec it and um I think that's one of the reasons why things didn't go so well right but um outside of you I don't know anyone that is has who has or is dating someone younger than than them um you know than they are uh whether it's even a year or more than that and I'm at the position now where for me it's you know what as long as both of you communicate with each other and not just communicate with each other but be kind to one another and the especially for the gentleman to not use her as a stepping stone to better her right or just you know a quick fling over here because at the end of the day this lady has got feelings she may be uh it could have been a couple of years before she was brave enough to go out with somebody after a messy divorce and now now here's this young person taking a liking to her wants to whine and dine her because he's got the money to do it and she could easily fall for him not realizing that you know what it was your a placeholder right until the real thing um you know came along and that I don't agree with because there's a person at the regardless of her age she's still there a human behind yes and she has feelings and you know that you know goes with it and as women I think sometimes we do fall for the charm for that he's taken such good care of me and we can fall heavy for this person and we fall so hard when he says no thank you I don't want again or she finds out he's seen a younger model that in itself is enough to send anyone off a cliff so you know um providing conversations ah had you know this is just a don't get too attached here I my advice would be to the older woman even though he may be saying the right things and doing the right things because it's that added um you know uh saying which is uh biblical that says by their fruits you will know them and if he's got a reputation oh he always does that then stay away you know but don't f a heart if you can help it um you know until he shows himself to be trustworthy yes and I think that's true probably of every relationship type I think we cannot take away the fears and the it's unknown territory this is relationships outside of the box this is um a relationship that is that has very few blueprints you know it's people have been hiding in the corners doing this and now we can you know live out loud you know like you said earlier you know older women are not looking their age anymore yes um you know and I can see the Allure now why younger men are marrying older women because the older woman has lived a little she's got less chaos less drama she's more confident in herself um she you know can create she doesn't need him to provide so he can you know uh just be emotionally what she needs because you know the younger man is able to give emotionally where he cannot give financially um so she doesn't come with too many you got to provide you got to pay you got to do this you got to do that because she's good you know her life is together and him uh paying for dates and taking it to special occasions is something he can do because he's doing it for somebody who is capable of doing it by herself um and you know uh they just love the confidence of the older woman you know and this is just in and out of the bedroom hey swans I have some incredibly exciting news I'm going to be giving away three exclusive products absolutely free each designed to help bring your dream partner into your life if you sign up to the email list you'll receive six emails over 6 days and Tuck within three of these emails will be your special gifts it's all just a click away so press the link sign up and let's embark on this journey together and remember above all you are loved

Channel: Black Swan Relationship Academy

Views: 331

Keywords: datingadvice, youngermen, relationshiptips, agegaprelationships, datingyounger, relationshipadvice, agematch, datingtips, loveandage, intergenerationaldating, datingsuccess, agerelationships, agegaplove, cougardating, youngerpartner, agegapdating, datingdynamics, loveacrossages, datingquestions, relationshipgoals, datingyoungerpartner, ageisjustanumber, datingagegap, relationshipchallenges, datingscenarios, datingconsiderations, relationshipsuccess, datingissues, generationalgap, agegapissues, black swan life, blackswan

Id: ZTAEiCWXZ80

Length: 24min 28sec (1468 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 14 2024