What It's Like For Polygamous Girls - With Sam's Biological Sister!

hey everyone welcome back my name is sam i'm melissa and i'm teppy the sister this is the sister we are so excited i finally got my sister here with us today and a lot of you have had tons of questions about what it's like for the women out there i mean because i i share my experiences obviously and i'm able to share quite a bit about just what it's like growing up out there general stuff but obviously it's different for everyone and especially the men growing up out there versus the women growing up out there i'm sure there are a lot of i mean i know there are a lot of different experiences that we all have so yeah and especially for the girls like there's been a total of what 15 siblings that have left yeah and only two sisters so it's just tefi and one other sister yeah so she's like the super brave awesome chick that was willing to read also our family has a lot of boys so that's true that is true she grew up with a lot of brothers yeah where me my sister and i are right in the middle of 12 boys so really yes i didn't realize that how many sisters total are they no don't make me do bathrooms there's a lot of sisters too you know there's there's they're mostly older though or we have the four younger the four younger sisters true okay so a lot of them were older that's right yeah it seemed like there were a lot of brothers growing up so you're right i didn't notice so which well i guess like the first question is you guys are from different mothers yes but how close in age are you we are what is year and a half year two years you should just be two years because then yeah so so the closest to me is daniel and so that makes that would make yeah about almost exactly two years about two years apart yeah so okay i'm sorry guys no i'm just gonna say you i think you mentioned that but yes we're from i'm younger but she's from another mother yeah that's super fun yeah but so just uh i mean a lot of questions we get i mean what people will ask just in general was it different for women out there of course it was one of the big ones is is it harder for women to leave so as we said there are just two of my sisters that moved out taffy being one of them obviously so uh was what was that i mean was it was it really difficult for you when you you know that decision i feel like girls are more uh i won't say confined secluded yeah yeah because you guys would always go out and work and then come back home yeah we're like stuck in the house and in the home all day were you guys ever allowed to go and get jobs that were like outside of the home i think that was one of the questions some families did okay uh father never did let us or let me yes we went to like it seems like church things like church projects and whatnot and just but it was mostly you you're i'm assuming you're referring to like when the community would go yeah the community projects and like work projects and whatnot but it wasn't like a paint job no okay gotcha yeah yes because that's that's true of us boys we were out there working on construction jobs all the time and so it was it was we were used to getting out there and seeing uh i guess other places other states even so but you're right you spent most of the time in the community at home uh just taking care of the family basically right yeah how long after sam left because sam left first but like how long after he left was it until you left uh five years oh wow so it was like quite a waste it was because i was 20 when i left and he was 18. i was eight and then two years different so yeah i moved out the month i turned 18. yeah so i was i was i tried to leave when i was 18 and it didn't didn't quite didn't work you might be asking like what do you mean like by not working out so i was gonna say when was the first time that you thought i don't think this is like the way i want to live like when was the first time that you had like doubts in your mind of like i think i want to move out someday it's probably around when these guys left when i moved out when you're when you're cool big brother left and you were like all right i want out i want to do what he's doing um well you guys so what i was saying the ball rolling that's true me and me and one of my brothers we we kind of started the whole thing after after the two of us left it seemed like a lot of people it's like dynamo a lot of people followed so you would have been 16 when i left then yes and at that point you already kind of were thinking yeah this is i probably want to move out when i can definitely question things okay so when you were 18 you tried to uh and it didn't work out what do you mean by it didn't work out i chickened out you might say oh okay okay you had a lot of pressure i mean i had people coming at me at every direction so did you like vocalize that you like wanted to leave and then they're mostly convincing or did they like physically try to keep you there or is it more of like a verbal verbal okay yeah and that's that's kind of what i always say too it was more verbal and mental you're going to hell and you're yeah they'd come at you and then it's your little teeny siblings coming at you like that too oh that'd be hard i'm like i raised you yes no it's true like out there there's so many um there's such big age gaps that they really did like your younger siblings you really took a lot of charge of right and like helping to raise yeah and and also our family was so big that like older sisters i take care of their kids so like my nieces and nephews i came home there were there were a lot of kids if you started including if you started including nephews and nieces it was it was a lot of children running around so yeah so did you how many at a time about did you say would you say that you were kind of watching or or taking care of um depends on the situation but like 10 12 ish yeah that time oh my goodness and that's in the ages of like 0 to 10 or 12. oh wow did you feel like when that kind of responsibility like how old were you when they you had to start being like put in charge of infants or like babies like when she when she was an infant um i remember molly vaughn would sit us down and be like okay i'm gonna leave the house what what happens if this happens what are you gonna do if this happens and this happens and like walks me through like no if a fire started or something like that oh wow like because i'm watching all these kids and i'm like 10. wow wow and she just needs to run to the store anyways yeah do you feel like towns yeah that's the way it was that's the way it was when you started watching like was it kind of brought up that this was like preparing you for motherhood oh yeah like did it get because we i'd like we did a video and i asked sam like did he ever feel like were there like talks about becoming a father someday and he was like there wasn't really like direct talks it was more of just example but it sounds like for the girls there was more work training we're trained since tiny to like this is this is your purpose in life to be a mother so this is what you needed so did they actually sit you down and have talks about it they have classes like recorded classes straight up said he's like yeah the guys we never really had like classes or like me okay i'm gonna say i'm like i didn't know that there were classes there yeah helmet classes that you listen to and to prepare yourself besides learn how to cook and sew and whatever else was it so was it more about to becoming a mother or what you needed to do as a wife like what oh really so this is like so so they would tell you this is what's expected of you to do for your husband and and like like for being like a wife as well ish i mean well it depends on how detailed you like because as an innocent girl yes yes yeah exactly like household things yeah interesting see i didn't know i i never had any of that type of we got drilled those tapes i mean like mother would always you listen to these you need to listen to these wow see i feel like it was just so much more intense out there for for women yeah i mean and i can imagine i mean you know in more than just the the responsibilities but having to share you know your husband with with other women polygamy i mean it's not definitely wouldn't be an easy thing for for anyone honestly yeah do you feel like you like mentally were prepared to be like in a polygamous relationship like in a polygamous marriage like knowing that you were gonna have a husband who was gonna have otherwise oh yeah i mean growing up i that's how we were raised i mean so it was just normal yeah it was like i i will have sister wives when i get married whether i'm a sixth wife or a first wife or but you imagine you mentioned you mentioned to us that you wanted to be what number one the number one wife number one only yes now growing up though i mean crazy literally trained and to be becoming a mother and a wife and then plural wife yeah well and that was what we were taught is you know the the plural marriage was was essential to returning back to to god you know and so it was it was something that we all accepted and just seemed so natural and normal and and something that we had to accept if we wanted to ever return to god so at what age like as a girl what age do you start going from like okay i'm preparing to being like was it scary getting older feeling like you don't know like what age did girls typically get married or was there an age where you were worried like okay now at this point especially if you left at 20 like were you worried about being married off no i mean only because warren went to jail like i was six well before you know getting married yeah at that point gotcha yeah because they weren't allowed to marry like are they stopped the marriages and what not when i was going through my teens kind of oh okay so you never really had to worry about i was like 14 i think when you went to jail yeah you would have well because i was still out there as well when you went to prison so i yeah i think i was 14 when he went to jail so it was it was like barely even thinking about marriage when he went to jail and then he went to what was your relationship with like the mothers that's a question that we get a lot is like um did you view all mothers the same was there like a different bond relationship with your own mother or what was the relationship like with the different mothers um so i personally didn't get along with my muller very well until my older years and i was really close to his mother for a while there and then all of the other mullers actually i mean i was i felt like i had a pretty good relationship with all the mothers that's good would that just depend on uh you said you you had a good relationship with my mother for a time there was that because of uh like the the kids you were you were watching and that type of thing or i guess what because for me i don't know i guess i was out of the house so much but i feel like i feel like i had a good relationship with everyone all the mothers but i felt like my relationship with my mother was a little bit more in-depth a little bit stronger i guess just because you know it was yeah because you probably because you spent more time with her right yeah but then like she and she would go out of her way to make sure that she would you know take us aside and and have talks with this one-on-one and all that so i just felt like we had a little bit of a stronger relationship but you felt in some i guess times that you would even have a stronger relationship with another mother than than your own yeah i i was a teenage girl and i blamed my muller for a lot of my issues going on oh gotcha that makes sense so well and like if you're getting closer to one of the mothers like depending on what chores and stuff you did right yeah would depend on it and like when i became the oldest girl at home like when i i was like what 12 i was eleven i became the oldest girl home went for sale that's right yeah yeah and so then i took on all the responsibilities and that's when i got close to your mother i see i see and then like i just kind of worked with her on a lot of things and then mueller got a job with faller oh that's right and so we did i did a lot of shopping what not with her gotcha so you just spent a lot more time yeah i just spent a lot more time with her and then in my younger years as mologini interesting okay so it was like i was really close with her i'd go to work with her and help her sometimes and do different uh jobs projects for and then as more of my teenage years than that's closer to mollyville okay so it kind of depends depending on what yeah through the stages of life like well whoever you're spending more time with right you're spending most time with correct me if i'm wrong mother never had a job outside of my mother never had a job outside of the home right like she never had a job when clear back when we were tiny okay for a minute because we were i was trying to remember this at one point she did school she taught school she taught like yeah but was it was just home school though yeah i just told her like she homeschooled all of us kids right right but it was just but it was still the older within the home it was still it was still just homeschooling like around the family yeah it's just us like some of the grandkids yeah i was trying to remember if she ever had a job that was like a paying job outside of the family but i didn't think so okay and then what was like as a girl what was the relationship like with like your father like did you get to have a relationship i know sam's mentioned like he didn't feel like he had much like many opportunities to because there were so many kids very rare to have like one-on-one time yeah did you ever feel like i never felt like i had a relationship with baller at all with yeah and with so many kids number one and uh number two being a girl it was probably even less time with him probably yeah yeah i mean if i talk to him is because he wanted something jeffy why is this not done yeah like tour household stuff yeah yeah yeah what was like your like what did the girls do for fun because the boy sam talks about like going i don't know being little rebels and going and playing outside and stuff but you didn't get to play with the boys as much right yeah that's what we wanted to do the two girls stuck in the middle of all those brothers sneak out with you guys weren't allowed to get your dress dirty we wanted to ride those bikes man we would we would we would build our own bikes from when we were really little we would go to the junkyard the junkyard we called it we called it what did we call it howard dream land or something like that anyway [Laughter] something like that anyway so this uh we would go out there and just pick up little pieces and parts and build our own bikes and then we would ride them around until they fell apart and that's what she wanted to be doing well we used to turn snugs too or chumps that is true we did that for a while like faller would pay us like what couple dollars a bundle or whatever and we'd save money to go get tubes and like slime and stuff for a bike bikes oh that's awesome yeah everyone out there rode bikes a lot it seems like there wasn't much more to do without having yeah you know the internet or movies or outside of music yeah always outside doing stuff yeah digging holes or bike ramps or yep whatever shooting and shooting arrows aimlessly into the sky and hoping they didn't say now you know why we're always so jealous so what did what did the girls do for fun like what did you do when you were little oh for fun yeah when we were little we were trying to sneak out and play with the boys okay okay so older teenagers we kind of we'd go community projects go like help i don't know so you didn't have there's like a million it was always a job always a job always oh that doesn't sound fun at all yeah fun was like sewing or elmo that pretty much oh she was told me the other day about how they had a certain number of shirts they had to iron because we had so many boys on our family so they have enough shirts that you have to press every time you wash them i guess i never wondered how my shirts were always so nicely ironed but no he's just assigned like a certain number of shirts that you had to do every day or was it like a certain like rotation of like okay on monday yeah would come home from work every day and she'd get iron shirts i'm sure you i remember that and just down there she's down there just pressing shirts for like hours at a time yeah oh my gosh i mean i can look back now and appreciate all that hard work but when i was a boy i would my my uh all i tried to do is get out of our room and sneak around her without her noticing oh because your guy's bedroom was right right there so we had to sneak around her without her noticing because if she notices anyone walking by her she gives you a job she has projects we were always nervous about mother genie catching us it was always a sneak when we finished our food at meal time we would try to sneak out before she would catch us because if she caught us it was dishes yeah oh that's super fun or sweet before take the trash out yeah yeah she always had projects that's right hey somebody someone had to get people doing the project so they were trying to keep you busy there was always a lot of i know there was always a lot to do for sure dang okay so you tried 18 and they were able to talk you into staying like guilt trip you into staying yeah so what was like the what made you decide like when you were 20 like okay i'm for sure gonna try to leave right now um i can't get kicked out in a way oh really yeah i didn't know that i mean they were just like we don't want you here so and it was was that because of uh things that you weren't following there yeah i wasn't following the rules i had contact with you and with like it was my fault was a rule though it was like when they left yeah yeah with apostates and that's the same reason we're not allowed to go back and be with our family right now is because there's no contact with apostates exactly they don't want to contact us because now they look at us as sinners i guess well and because you guys can influence which is kind of true in this case right like the apostates can influence people to try to convince them that like they can leave and that they can be happy if they leave yeah and that kind of stuff right well i knew i want to leave is just a matter of time i one actually got me a job oh really when i was like 19. when you were you were out there working now i remember that yeah it was it was still just a community job like working with people within the community but still it wasn't like outside influence yeah but it was a paint job gotcha was that like a big no-no like did the family like frown upon that or um it depends on the family fuller never did let me get a job so it was after him i thought i hadn't got jobs after he was no longer with family yeah gotcha see and i remember i went i went out there and picked you up from uh hilldale when you moved out yeah and i i remember your mother being very sad about it and a lot of the the children around at least it seemed like they were sad to see you go but you said but i didn't realize that you were kind of being forced to leave well i kept sneaking out at night and whatnot okay so and plus talking to the pot states and i was told a few times you can't come home gotcha and i was like my stuff's there i don't have anywhere to go and then um finally i was like okay i'll find somewhere that's when i called you oh okay okay gotcha so it's kind of like a perfect storm of like they'd kind of forced you to stay for two years because of guilt but you weren't like you're like fine if i'm gonna stay i'm gonna do what i want anyway i lost my job first and i was like i don't have a job or anything keeping me here so i bounced it's a good time yeah gotcha and what was it like when you first left like so sam and picked you up but like where did you so yeah i actually stayed with you guys for like a week or two last for a while because i went got my gd and whatnot yeah so it was just the two weeks it might have been a couple more than that okay but it was i don't know a month or so yeah maybe a month you got your ged and then you uh moved up north right yeah to to be closer to because at this point uh your sister uh had already moved out yeah and so you know it makes sense you would want to be a little closer yeah she was living up there so i moved up and you were the only other or she was the only only other girl yeah how long had she been out i forget before it was like six months six months seven maybe let me see she left in may and i left in january so like eight months eight months yeah yeah i'm i'm i'm forgetting uh did was she also just kind of told to move out or did she no she just left she just left it i had enough okay i'm surprised you didn't leave with her at the same time was that because of all the responsibilities and all the kids you were watching over at the time it was because of mother yeah what was going on with her there and yeah feeling like you need to stay didn't want to leave her behind yeah it was kind of a mess yeah there was a lot see and i moved out at a time it was almost just before everything got really crazy right oh yeah like i mean it got crazy after i left too but even you barely even got the tip of the iceberg right things were as normal as normal could be out there i guess i can't barely start changing when you left right the meetings were canceled and things like that before i moved out war and jess had been put in prison and all that and then just before everything came crashing down i moved out i guess so i guess lucky me but sad for so many others what were like some of the crazy rules because they had like some weird rules didn't they like after sam left like like with colors and when oh color was always colors oh color was always a thing color was awesome oh okay i thought that was like a later thing so what colors weren't allowed red and i got me a red dress that's another thing that they were that's another reason these little rebels over here wearing red dresses we weren't allowed to wear red dresses in our family red anything i mean if it's a red car no red anything was just a no-go it was considered a sacred color right so oh so it wasn't because it was bad it was because it was sacred sacred color so we weren't allowed to okay use it in and right where in any way or have anything in red really yeah right that's how it was in our family yeah i know other families had red vehicles and that seemed to be okay but in our family and it wasn't allowed no right yeah but it seemed like even black and i don't know where this came from because that black was never taught as a sacred color but i wasn't allowed to wear black shirts maybe that was the wicked color yeah you gotta have one of each right if you're gonna have so if you if i if i had showed up one day in a red shirt and black pants that would that would have been that would have been the end yeah no so so colors were always a thing colors were always so what was one of the like biggest weirdest rules of like things are getting crazy and now there's this new rule can you think of like an example dude there's so many um i heard of things but i'm like do you know like i wonder if there's anything when you left that was kind of wacky when before i left yeah no not not nothing really crazy i i heard of a lot of really crazy rules coming out right after i moved out so some of you know like the way you get dressed that time yeah right and left-hand things you see there's right and left-hand things you're supposed to handle clean things with your right hand you get dressed with your right hand your dirty laundry and dirty things with your left hand even doing laundry really it got so weird that wasn't this like some revelation that warren jeffs had that that he was telling people to do from prison or was it other leaders i am not sure where it came from i thought it came from from war and jazz i mean i assume it came out no matter who it came from like so it was actually something that was like would people watch you do the laundry to make sure you're doing it correctly because that's me because i'm wondering like anytime there's a rule there has to be some way to like enforce it enforce it i guess not always though they would they would teach us something yeah they didn't like micromanage it okay it was just like this is the best way to do it this is how you should do it how we do this now but just the fact that it was expected that was you know it was just so crazy and then what for a time there i heard that there was a certain way as far as food goes oh yeah that you could only eat certain foods and you could only get these certain foods from certain places what was that all about you were i heard about it but that's what you want that was after okay they started the whole washing okay they washed the entire house down with this special soap once a month wow also you had to start in the middle of the ceiling and go out like this down the walls using your left and right hand like the dirty in the hand i heard about that whoa every single month once a month the entire house oh my gosh we had some damn oh my goodness so is it was that was that a way to kind of keep the houses clean and sacred i guess i have no idea where that came from but it was it was special soap like the creek made like soap to me to me it sounds like they were trying to keep all of the young children busy all the time all the time because they probably feared if you guys had too much time right like right yeah that's crazy but that that but then they took away everything at that time they taken away our bikes they've taken like they took away all any type of toys yeah oh really it was just work work work work it was yeah just work i i mean i remember even while i was out there we were no longer allowed to use the word fun oh that is you couldn't use the word fight no fun was not was not we couldn't it's a bad word you know now that i've seen movies like this makes me think of some of the some of the movies like yeah take it away you know anyway i can't think of the movies but it makes me think of some movies i think you're thinking of a year without a santa claus maybe that's it when the meister burger burger mice or whatever no lila loves that movie a little girl and comes and wants to take away all the toys and the kids are not allowed to play it's a christmas movie anyway but yes it reminds me of that because they started taking away all of the fun we weren't allowed to say say fun in fact they said if if you are enjoying something you have to say this is enjoyable yeah oh wow that was that was enjoyable oh man yeah a lot a lot of really weird things and uh i think most of it came from warren jeffs i know some things were a little bit starting to get a little bit more strict and crazy during ruling jeff's time but when weren't you justin like horns when warren came into power it was just like he wanted he wanted control of everything it seemed like right it went downhill fast yeah that's crazy super crazy going back to when you left so when you left and then you went and like moved with your sister what was some of the biggest culture shocks of like having left like what was the biggest thing that was like different than what you thought it would be like leaving oh um probably i want to say like socializing like being able to be with friends no what's the word i'm trying to think of dating now um just like meeting new people and getting out there and like somebody that's like introducing yourself yeah being able to actually be allowed to do that to be able to like talk to a complete stranger almost um yeah like as a girl we're so confined i mean like you guys would go out and work and like have outside connections right now right i can imagine it'd be very different for you as a girl it was like everybody we were around and worked with played with whatever was all crackers everybody from the church everywhere yeah that's true that's true so then you could just when you left you were able to just talk with whoever you wanted to because you're right when we were out there we weren't really allowed to talk to strangers or talk to people that weren't members of the church yeah you ever talk to a cricketer and they look at you like yep yeah give you this weird look yeah yeah some people have commented that like that they went through hilldale colorado city and they're like people were like staring at me and yeah yeah it's because they weren't really allowed to talk to outsiders or they don't know how really yeah i mean it's kind of if you're not allowed to that would be hard to like learn social skills yeah and their family oh go ahead sorry i'm like i still feel like i don't have very good social skills just from that i mean never really grew up socializing when when we first moved out all of us when we first moved out giving someone a hug it was just the most awkward thing go ahead go ahead and like a front hug was just like we if we gave a hug it's this little it's like from the side and it was it was like they would almost like shove their shoulder into you to kind of kind of get you farther away yeah just just being able to give someone a normal hug it was just like you hardly even touched each other yeah yeah it was great do you think every family out there was that way or just our family i don't know i feel like it's mostly our family but because we yeah we i mean uh it was i don't know we we were not a touchy-lovey kind of family at all okay so funny story about that when their younger brother left now my family we're big huggers okay everybody hugs each other if we meet someone for the first time we hug like showing our excitement to meet them and so one of his younger brothers left and he had like he was he even 18 yet or was he still sick so here is under 18 yeah so he's 16 16 or 17 year old little boy from out there and i get to meet him for the first time and i go to give him a hug and like i go on for a full-blown hug because this is family and he tried to do the side thing he didn't know what to do and i like gave him and then i like stood back and i said okay we're gonna work on this and next time i'm like i'm gonna expect more from you from this hug and so like next time he saw me he gave me like a regular hug like it had been a couple months maybe like six months or something and i gave him like this huge hug and he was like all proud of himself for like being able to hug me like a normal like a normal person probably practice practice on a pillow or something have to be ready for when i see my sister-in-law again but it's true like it was it was like that's hard awkward and i spent some time in chile and in chile they are like super just loving and everyone gives everyone hugs and kisses and it's just you know and so when i got back from chile i was over the top i think i i went i went from one extreme to another uh but anyway it's very interesting to see people when they move out it's you know the hugging and that is just very awkward for them yeah we're not a very touchy philly family yeah at all it was i mean it was just it was just like super strict i mean i'm trying to think of a good example i guess like uh the sound of music that kind of family where they're very strict rules we had to be up at a certain time for for uh family uh scripture and all that breakfast was at a certain time dinner was at a certain time and we were expected to be there right on time for all of these people leave nowhere i'll homeschool there's still schools from here to here yep school is still very structured even though it was homeschooled yeah i feel like you'd have to be like how else could you run a household that huge without having like a ton of structure i feel like it's the only way that that could have even happened like the only way to even keep everyone fed and like homeschooled at all would have to be like super rigid that'd be crazy but um i was thinking i was thinking what was like the biggest um like club so you wore prairie dresses before if anyone's never seen like a picture of a prairie dress let's talk about it so yeah couple questions one someone asked this and now i'm very curious did girls still shave their legs even though their dresses covered their entire legs we didn't know no well not only would you wear dresses but you'd also wear like leggings underneath oh there was like layers on layers how many layers did girls have to wear we had our long underwear of course okay oh yes and then our like yes and then the leggings and then the slips so that the dresses aren't staticky oh my goodness okay so we've got long underwear leggings slips and then a dress yeah and then the dress was of course all the way to your wrists all the way to your ankle yeah like the dresses wrist to neck to ankles dirt yeah yeah so was there because i was trying to remember uh what they taught of the what was the purpose and all i can think of was they said that it was the only way to be modest like it was a modesty thing but they did they tell more about why the why all the girls had to wear these dresses i don't remember was it just to be just just for modesty i i we're taught to be uh covered from our wrists or ankles yes and yeah yeah showing skin it didn't matter like even if even if it was just in the family or no matter what we were always going to bed pajamas same thing swimming in the lake you're in your favorite dress everything wow yeah that's why that's why we didn't ever that's why we didn't ever learn how to swim very well yeah all of us how could you and i swim hey full clothes how could you learn that would be so hard and then so people ask this question as well what about the hair yes because there are so many rumors about why there's why the women out there have the poof and whatnot so what what's the actual reason for it yes tell us about the poof tuffy i feel like it's a fad almost okay so it's like a little bit of style you snuck in there yeah oh so you didn't have to have a poof what were like the requirements of like you have to have your hair uh up and not hanging at all so just breaking braided yeah and but but but it seemed like it was like if you saw a girl that had her hair just pulled back and then braided you would think of her as like a rebel like see it seemed like it seemed like the poof was kind of necessary it's the higher the poof the more right you are that's what you hear but i don't i don't know if it's like a legit like george yeah more of like a cultural thing it was just you would go to church sometimes though and you would see women with like we're talking about it's like higher than their head yeah i mean like so so you're right maybe it was just a fad like they just kind of thought oh that you know if i have a bigger poof you know yeah well girls are going to try to make some kind of style with what they've got to be able to work with right you play around with the braids the twist braids and the fish braids and all the so the real question the important question then was how high was your poof when did you get a photo yes guys give us a photo depending on the day ooh you would see all shapes and sizes of poops though okay yeah what was your go-to hairstyle like explain it or shall we like be a brush and comb just kidding seriously oh we should do a video on that so comment if you want to see i do a tutorial on how they did that oh they did that i remember how oh you'd remember i bet you would be like riding a bike i bet you she'd remember so i i remember seeing i don't remember if it was you or another sister but i remember walking into a room at some point and they were hanging off the bed doing their hair is that was that a thing yeah so and what was the purpose of that was that your arms don't get as tired for one thing oh that makes sense but like then you can get your french braids longer you know how some come clear down the back yeah because they all have long hair out there you never cut your hair right or you're working i didn't but you're not supposed to huh you even like just clipping the ends you weren't trimming it you weren't even supposed to do that right i mean i don't know if it's a church thing but i don't think so huh i remember i don't remember which but it was one of the younger sisters at one point got a hold of some scissors and just went snipped her food no she cut her poop off oh how old was she she was tiny like three years old oh my goodness she was like i can't believe you're doing this to me oh sure i'll show you how to be a rebel right up right off with a hoop i remember that that was that was uh that was oh my goodness well yeah especially if it's the front of your hair and it's like it was so close to the scalp she just like snipped snip snip oh my gosh that's so funny and not funny at the same time so how me is the older sister trying to kill my hair want to spank her butt how could you do this to me now look what i have to work with how uh how long would it take the average oh i guess another question would you girls often do each other's hair yeah okay just to make it easier yeah how how long would it take to do your hair in the morning 10 minutes excuse you got super fast out of these that's so i can't even i can't even do a braid on my own hair like it has to be like here and i can braid this part like i can't do french braids i can't do i'm trying to get better not on myself for a while yeah that's great well yeah one of these one of these days you'll have to do a tutorial and see if you can get that poop back i've been playing lots of rats so down for that yeah i want you to do it on me i've never had it you want the poof i want the poop all right i've never had a poof before i still have my prairie dress you want to put that on too oh yeah you still have it yeah just one of them one the one i left in okay did you that's right you left in one huh what was the biggest like style change like had you been a rebel and kind of let your hair down a little bit before you left or like what was the biggest difference in like clothing or hair or what was the hardest thing to get used to when you left hair hanging hairy yeah because you're used to having up and out of your face mostly i can see that being yeah but did you go right to that or did you like did you eat into it okay because i remember when i when i moved out i was like i mean i was out for a couple hours and i was in a t-shirt like wow freedom so and i know that some people are like that but we also have brothers that move out and they want to keep their you know they kind of ease out right they want to keep their clothes on cold turkey i'm like what was i told not to do i'm doing that's what i'm doing literally so so speaking of like like the the mental game here and like the spiritual stuff uh was it difficult to wrap your head around when you first moved out because for me i mean i had my own i guess experience as well but was it difficult for you to to realize that okay everything i was taught doesn't matter anymore or like it's not important that i follow these rules that kind of thing by the time i left i was angry enough so like my belief in the church and whatnot was clear going okay so it didn't really to you the the the beliefs and all that didn't really and i've heard of things that was going on that we didn't know about because i was talking to the apostates talking to us the apostates the apostates so then you would hear about things that we knew about because of what we were hearing on the news and everything else so you knew what warren jeffs had done and there all this stuff so that that would kind of open your eyes a little bit more for sure the only reason why i stay as long as i did was for mother just to help her out yeah that makes sense yeah stuck around for a couple more years yeah because i remember at one point i remember at one point i talked to you and this was quite a while several months before he moved out and uh you said yeah i'm ready to move out but i'm just going to stay here yeah for mother right okay so i remember that yeah man somebody think yeah for me when i moved out as far as the the spiritual stuff goes i was still convinced that what i was taught was the truth so i in my mind i thought i'll go out and i'll explore and then you know see what the big one come back see what they did i did and then i thought i would go back because that's the only way to get to heaven so that's what i thought so so so i figured i would go back uh eventually and and repent of all my sins and repent of going out and seeing the big wide world and then and then and then that would be that i actually thought of that i mean before i left then i would be like oh i just want to go out and see how it is then i'll come back in a couple years that was my that was my idea and then i was gone for a couple weeks and was like actually maybe no it was more than a couple weeks for me for me it was a couple of months we i also moved out uh with one of my brothers uh in 2008 so the economy was really bad yeah a bad time to try to find work and all that so it got really hard there for for us for some time and and uh so anyway there were times where i thought man maybe i should just go back and save up some money and redo this thing but anyway it worked out was there ever a time that like since you left where you did think of going back um not for like church reasons or beliefs or anything like when i left going from like a huge family to no one almost then that was hard yeah like it was difficult to leave everybody everybody behind not talk to him no contact and then you come out and everybody's like even family they had their own lives going on right at that point we we were dating or married or kids yeah so you're kind of just thrown into this trying to figure out how did you feel did you try to figure out all of life at one time i feel like that'd be so overwhelming because most people you know most of their childhood they're preparing for you know whatever they're going to do next like they're going to college i didn't know if i wanted to go to school i didn't know what i want to do with my life i didn't know i mean it was just a lot of uncertainty well because before it was like already a pretty set path for you right like yeah oh there you knew what you were you had no choice i always knew i'd be a mom or a wife whatever even the man out there it didn't seem like we had much of an option i mean it was you just you go to work go to work figure out what you want to do for work but and then do that and that was that yeah there wasn't really oh should i go to school what kind of degree should i get that just wasn't really an option there's a lot of options in the world you know i've been around bouncing from here to there you've done a few things since moving out but that's good though like honestly you just it's hard to start like later in the game but everybody goes through that like everybody goes through trying to find what they want to do and you guys unfortunately just had to start that later so trying to figure out you know it's going to happen later than other people who have been trying things out from the time that they were you know like young kids honestly and thinking about it yeah that's not your guys like a lot of people know when they're a kid oh this is what i want to be when i grow up because they had the option for us it was like tell me again what i'm going to be when i grow up what am i doing here what am i doing here so yeah i remember that too it was very much just we you know for when i moved out too it was very uh intimidating to think oh man no i have to decide yeah no i have to decide what i want to do so yeah that was that was very intimidating went from no making no decisions for yourself to every decision it's a big change yeah that's huge you live and you learn i guess yeah what has been the best thing like for you about leaving i know it's kind of like a big question right huge question that's a huge question that is like how do i put that simple yeah because one thing that would be hard to pinpoint but what have been some things yeah there you go that have been like really positive and good for you they're now leaving you can look back and be like i'm so glad i left because now just figuring out who i am for one thing because like out there you're just told what to do and what not i mean jeez i don't know that's a good one just have a chance to think about what who you are and what you want yeah for once yeah no that's that's definitely a big one especially for women out there i can't imagine you didn't really get to think much about what you wanted nope so man we could probably go on for hours but and i can barely start get used to this camera here and then i throw some crazy some crazy hard questions yes it gets easy yeah but i'll go ahead no i'm just going to say i mean we could go on for hours probably about talking i'm trying to think of some things that uh some of our a lot of our viewers have been asking specifically about what it was like for women out there were there anymore i know the way to dress was a lot of questions um what it's like some people you may know the answer to this as well some people ask questions like did the did the mothers ever get jealous oh yeah oh yeah so you saw more of that than i did probably yes absolutely yeah what do you think was the hardest thing about being a mother out there uh i don't know um i saw like the jealousy thing a lot of it was like my kids did this no your kid did that and did it kind of the fight between the kids blaming each other's kids okay yeah oh yeah a lot of that huh you made my kid do this yeah your kid made my kid leave no i remember and there probably was some of that going on did some people blame my brother for me leaving i bet my mother did oh there was a lot of it i mean from little things to big things it's yeah blame this play okay man i mean it's got to be so tough to i mean they're still human even though they were raised this way they're still human so yeah so it's got to be tough to to share the house i mean it's hard enough i mean when uh when a mother in the normal world but only there's only one mom in the home when their daughters grow up and they're teenagers they can't even live in the same house with their daughters sometimes now imagine being other wives in the home i mean that no thanks don't imagine that it's good not a thing i wanna then you're trying to raise your kids or whatever and then she's trying to raise her kids and that's where the clash comes in along and they probably had different opinions different ways of raising them yeah did they ever try to like raise each other's kid or did they like stay pretty well separated like in raising their own kids now it was i mean our family was kind of i felt like it was pretty well intertwined and intertwined uh i mean just because of pauler i mean like they the mueller's kind of agreed with father exactly because he's the one that made the ultimate decision on everything yeah but one of uh my older our older sisters from another mother than either one of us but was really older was really older than uh than me actually raised me for a good uh for a few years she spent a lot of time yeah kind of raising me and watching me always so a lot of the older children or i guess sisters specifically would help raise the younger ones yeah we'd help raise the younger kids i mean like i raised my younger siblings right and my sister's siblings our kids so my nieces nephews so there was a lot of that people people ask how how the you can manage so many children in a home and that i guess that's that kind of helps kind of have children right children raising children children exactly especially i mean some of my siblings are plenty old enough to be my parents so well we have like nieces and nephews older than us oh yeah so yeah so in fact in fact it's uh it's uh it was kind of an interesting thought when i would meet some of my cousins uh or sorry i guess it would have been when i would meet some of my nephews that were older than me and i was like i'm your uncle yeah so yeah it was pretty crazy but um anyway the family dynamic brings the whole i'm my own grandpa did you did you feel like the mother's like self-worth almost was tied to like having as many babies as possible or was that like a main priority and goal of like trying to continue to have children as much as possible um like the amount of children yeah yeah i mean i feel like it because they're taught to like be fruitful and multiply the earth and whatnot and make babies it's kind of their job gotcha and to raise them i guess so they would feel like they were fulfilling their purpose more as they would have more children oh yeah and obviously it seemed that way because they all had 11 or 12 in our family or more or yeah i mean our family other families other families would have even more yeah so that is just a lot of i mean those man now you see somebody with four kids and you're like holy yeah yeah not even four is a lot and we uh we have two and and that's a lot yeah you know with r2 we're like if we have any more then we'll be outnumbered yeah yeah so yeah that came from the older siblings help and whatnot and other mothers help yeah i feel like you'd have to yeah yeah made a big difference like that but well guys like we said we could talk forever about this stuff and maybe we'll have to do more videos in the future but leave comments about things you'd like to hear about um more and maybe techie will be able to come and say yeah and do another video another time now ask questions even if they're specifically for taffy and uh we can either answer them through comment form or maybe we can have her back so yeah but thanks for watching if you guys want to hear more about what it was like um for them to be raised in polygamy then like and subscribe and we will talk to y'all soon we'll talk to you soon bye

Channel: Growing Up in Polygamy

Views: 246,919

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Id: uWy7EHCqezY

Length: 54min 11sec (3251 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 05 2021