What is the Truth about Sexuality? || Cultural Catalysts with Kris Vallotton & Cole Zick

you know we'll go to a church now and we'll speak  and we will read about Adam and Eve God made them   male and female period not comma yeah and we'll  teach just on creation and I'll have multiple   people that disagree with me at the end of it but  what do you mean what do you mean it's only male   and female what about this and this and that at  churches yeah and that's when we begin to realize   these lies are this isn't actually a outside of  the church issue no these lies are an Insight of   the church issue right now and if everybody's so  scared to declare what the truth is then where's   anybody going to be able to find the truth  of what God's heart really is for Humanity [Music] [Applause] [Music]   thank you [Music] hi I'm Chris Felton and welcome to cultural  Catalyst where we help you learn how to live   Fully Alive collabor with God and change  the world and today I have Cole zigg   who is him and his wife Caitlin they actually  lead more Revolution which is a Ministry dedicated   to really kind of sexual Purity yep so hey you  forgot your favorite employee too oh who else did   I forget no you forgot to say I'm your favorite  employee oh yes you are my favorite part of the   introduction employee yeah um anyway hey before we  go on tell us a little bit about you and Kate tell   us about it yeah so we have been married for 16  years I have four kids we made four kids in five   years very good yeah you figure out what you're  good at and you do a lot of that in life and uh   yes we've been directing moral revolutions  been over five years now before that we were   youth Pastors in Sacramento and uh yeah that's  the the short of it we are fully entrenched in   Youth Sports in our personal life at these days  and uh they're your kids 12 11 11 just turned 11   8 and 7 were right in the period where they're  all having birthdays so I have to like actually   think so 12 11 8 6 almost 7. wow yeah it's busy  house you got a busy house you're leading more   Revolution more beautiful yeah yeah so hey what  are you you know we're in the middle of a moral   mess in my mind yeah absolutely and we see you  know uh homosexuality transgenderism I mean the   hookup culture these things are On The Rise we  don't seem there doesn't seem to be an end to the   acceleration of in in my mind what's you know the  immoral culture what are you doing to help yeah I   mean there's a lot it it you you there really  isn't an area you can look and think oh that   looks like we're winning there right now not right  now like it feels like every area that you look   um I really believe in what we our team prays a  lot into is the reset I think that it's gotten   to the point where I feel like something big is  going to happen that is going to shock people   and help them realize how lost they have been and  woken them up yeah uh a lot of what we've started   to focus our efforts onto is Declarations of Truth  so you know even a few years ago when we joined it   was we were making a lot of e-courses and creating  resources which we still do of course but in the   last I would say price six months to year to a  year we've been creating a lot of content that   is about well we actually wanted somebody needs to  be stopping and saying wait a second this is what   the truth actually is because even the church  is confused on them you know so we have we've   launched a campaign called porn is lying to you  where we're creating content and and videos and   resources around the reality that porn is actually  not educated America well and yet it has been the   sex educator for the last 20 years the average kid  finds it by 11 years old that's what's informing   kids about what sex is well it's sold a lot of  lies into the belief system of minds and hearts uh   we're currently in the middle of a truth campaign  it's called Truth is and we're we're creating   videos and content around that Declaration of wait  a second here's what truth here's what the the   fact of the matter is on this topic and so really  I think the season that we're in you know at Ebbs   and flows and you know we try not to react to  culture but we're in culture and so a lot of what   we're doing and we're creating is in response to  and the trends that we've seen you know we'll go   to a church now and we'll speak and we will read  about Adam and Eve God made them male and female   period not comma yeah and we'll teach just on  creation and I'll have multiple people that   disagree with me at the end of it but what do you  mean what do you mean it's only male and female   what about this and this and that at churches yeah  and that's when we begin to realize these lies are   this isn't actually uh outside of the church issue  no these lies are an inside of the church issue   right now and if everybody's so scared to declare  what the truth is then where's anybody going to   be able to find the truth of what God's heart  really is for Humanity and so we've definitely   moved more into declaring and creating content  that's centered around that given that we feel   like that's what the church needs right now is  it needs people to say hey here's what the Bible   actually says and we have to be willing to accept  this where do you think that people are getting   their quote My Truth where do you think where do  you think it's if their core values aren't coming   from the Bible and right now we're even talking  about Christians where do you think they're where   do you think their core values are being generated  from I think unequivocally social media I mean   even you people like to say kids are spending  all their time on screens adults are spending all   their times on screens you know part way through  covid one of the lines that Bill said in one of   his messages that has stuck with me from that  moment and I think is very applicable to where   we at where we're at today as he said if you're  spending all of your time reading the news and on   social media then your anxiety is self-inflicted  yeah wow and I think that kovid supercharged bad   theology bad belief bad ideas about Humanity bad  belief systems about sexual identity because we   took all we took the entire world and we put them  in their house and all they had to do was that all   they had was to be entertained by social media  and other people's ideas and when you get on the   internet ideas are passed off as fact yeah and so  now we have people's ideas and people's opinions   and we became dependent on being on a screen  for entertainment I would venture to say it's   very rare for a Christian's time in the word in  a 24-hour period to outweigh a Christian's time   on a screen oh I would say it's a 99.99 of the  time so if we're not here and all we're doing   is looking at other people's ideas that they're  passing off as fact we have developed in the last   two years a very distorted view of humanity  and it becomes humanism really because we've   become so consumed with how I feel every I'm  the God I'm here I'm who God is here to serve   it's this humanistic meshing of Christianity  where we're convinced that we are the reason   and that idea that has even infiltrated the church  comes with well if a good God would want you to be   happy no matter what that means a good this this  concept thing a good God would want these things   and would want you to pursue whatever you want  I really believe that it supercharged these last   couple years simply because of our media intake  I think that that is in my opinion this not that   that's the root but that it was almost like that  was the fertilizer it's a platform yeah it was the   platform that fertilized the soil and it caused  that grass to grow at an exponential rate you   know first John 4 says when we see him speaking  of Christ we'll become like him but the challenge   that you just you know what you just said is  when you don't see him we end up with a God in   our image instead of becoming instead of becoming  people who are made in God's image exactly so we   have created our own image of God we've created  our own God basically yeah and we've taken away   hell so there's no repercussions for any of your  actions or attitudes yeah exactly and we basically   said listen you don't matter loving God wouldn't  wouldn't let you go to hell yep and we've taken   away so we've taken away all the ramifications of  any behavior that you might have exactly and what   what do you think's what do you thinks that the  root of all this I think it I think it's pretty   standard in humans if it goes unchecked like my  my second son Connor we were at dinner I know   this is a couple years ago and Connor is my honest  child like embarrassingly so sometimes like he's   transparent he's the one that we don't want him  to know family secrets because everybody's gonna   know those and we're sitting at the dinner table  and my daughter looks at me she goes dad you're   the best dad in the world and Connor goes no he's  not and I'm dying to hear Connor's you know I just   laughed even in his response and I go what do you  mean buddy like why am I not the best dad in the   world he goes well there's a lot of dads how could  we know you're the best one like there's so many   dads out there and I go well what would it take  for me to be the best dad in your mind and he goes   well you just have to give me whatever I wanted  Ah that's the best dad that'd be the best dad in   his mind you know he was eight at the time of nine  in his mind what would it what it would take to be   the best dad is for me to give him whatever I want  and I think that that's probably pretty common in   an unchecked child who hasn't been taught hasn't  been loved hasn't been disciplined right and so we   talked through it and we used it as a teaching  moment and we explained it and he now realizes   oh yeah a good dad does heart takes me through  hard challenges and teaches me and disciplines me   the problem and so I think I think you have that  as a human like we have that in us where at our   core mind we want what's ours when we're selfish  it's we're selfish yeah I had to learn to be   selfless you're still learning to be selfless like  I I was never more exposed than the first couple   years of my marriage how selfish I was you thought  you're so sacrificial oh man until you got married   exactly and your wife asked you to do something  you're like what yeah I'm the head of this home   exactly and then you have kids and you're like I  thought I had the selfishness thing figured out   and now I just made children so I think that it's  there I think that when you then put everybody in   a situation where we're now expected to get paid  for doing nothing because kova just taught us that   we can get paid and be at home and not actually  work a full day yeah we can and now yeah you   start to see the videos that come out where you've  got 22 23 30 year olds even sitting there crying   because their employer made him work an eight-hour  day I remember this video I watched this week this   this young man sat there and in tears my employer  is putting me through unworkable work conditions   I had to work an eight-hour day yeah I had to  go to work I thought yeah oh dear father yeah   like I think that that's at the court if we're  not disciplined and we're not discipled if we're   not putting ourselves in a place where we're being  discipled or we're being challenged I had to teach   that thought process out of my eight-year-old  son that's really good actually what makes me   a good dad kiddo is that I'm always here for  you and I make you do your chores and then I   wake you up for school and make you do things  that you don't want to do and yes a part of   that is I give you the things that you need and  and oftentimes the things that you want but it's   not just that he had to be taught that we right  now have a culture that doesn't want that message   yeah and so if we don't want that message and  we're spending our time consuming content we're   not spending our time engaging in relationships  that are making us better we've become our own   Echo chamber of theology that's it's true and  then our social media whatever posts we follow   basically the algorithm tells us oh that's what  you want to hear and they just until you get   reinforced yeah whether the lie or the truth they  reinforce what we already believe okay I'm going   to shift subjects a little bit because I this  is probably the biggest challenge that parents   are facing right now you know when I was in  high school you know the Big Challenge was   the you know drugs oh before you would you say  I said World War one no I was no it's actually   no it was actually uh Korean War I'm just easier  I'm pretty close to that Asia but now nowadays you   know moms and dads are facing you know uh Johnny  thinks he's a a girl you know Mary Mary has a as   a girlfriend that she's involved with romantically  she's 15. and you know where what do you do like   you know I know you you hear this every day right  and this is part of the generation we're trying to   Shepherd and Pastor to help right so what are some  things you should do and what are some you know   and I realize it's going to be individualized yeah  I get that but what are some of the goals that you   should have when your daughter comes home at  15 and says hey I'm dating another girl yep   um your your son comes home and says I believe I'm  homosexual yeah like and you know we're talking   about teenagers now yeah what what should like  what what just let's let's begin the conversation   yeah yeah real quick before I even get into some  of the the organic Parts just resources you know   changed as a ministry that's a part of method  here part of moral Revolution they've created some   unbelievable content on this we have a series of  videos called the Thrive series they're all free   videos that you can watch from experts that speak  directly to those types of questions it'll give   you a question in a video soon you can you can get  to it from moralrevolution.com and Link through   change or you can go to changemovement.com so if  you if you want more on that that's where I would   tell you to start you can start to consume a ton  of content there so you actually have curriculum   around yeah and that are that are giving you  intelligent answers exactly and by the way I want   to just add a plug to that the change the change  uh movement is being led by former homosexuals   yeah Ken and Elizabeth so that lifestyle yeah  really they LED that lifestyle and they really   have some real good Insight yep into how to speak  to your kids yeah now on a more like if you're   like I got a conversation I have to have today and  I don't have time to watch all that and to start   it I think that the the key thing that parents  need to remember is it really all comes back to   Identity yes you know and affirming that identity  a lot of students right now are trying things out   because it's the cool thing to try their brains  are undeveloped I wouldn't go so far as to say   it's the equivalent of a kid trying out ding dong  ditching and then realizing that wasn't a good   choice yeah but there is that sense right now that  it's so common to experiment yeah that a kid isn't   likely gay they are or even really feeling like  that they're just trying this out and going down   that path and so I really encourage parents to  reaffirm identity I think we have to remember and   Trust in the intelligent design of the creator  that we know in our heart we were created for   a man and a woman and so reinforcing that in a  loving way I think is really huge right now uh-huh   I think listening figuring out the why questions  what we always say start asking why questions   the why do you feel this way what was the first  time that you felt this way what sparked this   oftentimes whether it's homosexuality  transgender a sexually active teen you   find pornographies at the base of a lot  of it it's very rare to have a situation   where pornography didn't come in early and then  have an impact on that child's sexual belief in   sexual experience and so you know the language  the other one of the other phrases that we've   coined is you want to have a lot of Discovery  conversations it's really easy as the parent to   freak out like I'm gonna tell you the way it ought  to be yeah and that's not probably gonna work yeah   discovering what's going on in their heart what  led them to where they're at why they feel what   they feel right now um and I think letting go  of having a Finish Line of completion in your   own mind because a lot of times for a parent it's  like oh man they're a Junior I've got a year and a   half to get this fixed you have to discover their  heart again because if they're coming and telling   you something you didn't know that means you've  lost you don't know where their heart's at yeah   and you have to ReDiscover that so you got to go  on this journey of Discovery yes absolutely the   goal is complete Restoration in their sexuality  to the way God designed it the process to get   there is one of Discovery one on affirming  identity and one of demonstrating to them what   God's design is one of I don't know if you even  remember this conversation that you and I had   and years ago my oldest son had started to make  friends with somebody that had gay parents and   we were trying to decide like what line do we  draw here right yeah and he's pretty young and   he was young you know he's 13 now I think he was  maybe 10 at the time and you know I called you   one day and said hey I'd love to get your input  on this you know what do we do and I the advice   you gave me I thought was really good is you said  you shouldn't ever be threatened by the artificial   when he's getting the authentic at home yeah and  it actually gave us a lot of peace and it's held   true you know three four years later my oldest is  the one that's the most open with us we he talks   to us about everything he's got a very strong  sense of right and wrong and we that we definitely   let him go into some situations that we maybe  wouldn't have trusting you know what God's design   is screaming inside of all of us we can't deny  what the Holy Spirit placed in us holy and he's   coming home and he's seeing a loving father and  a loving mother who love each other deeply that's   what his heart's going to cry out for and so that  would be the last thing I would say is finding out   how to position your children in scenarios where  they're able to see and experience God's design   for relationships if you're a single parent you're  not going to be able to demonstrate that in a in   a marriage per se that you're in but putting them  in situations where they're able to see pastors or   leaders or baseball coaches or Sports coaches  that demonstrate that so that they're they're   going to be drawn to that by nature of how they  were created yeah and I would add to that stay   connected yep I mean what the one thing that you  don't want to do is break your connection with   your with your teenagers because then you lose  the ability to influence them it's true it's so   hard it it it's a it is full-time job to stay  connected to teenagers especially when they're   so busy like my oldest is yeah 12 and he'll have  practice four nights a week in some seasons of   our life and it's like when do you even we have  to fight for it like we have to get up early and   go work out with him I don't want to work out with  him but I get up I got to get up early and go work   out with him just so I can find that point where  we have an opportunity to talk so good and I I do   think that what you said is so powerful it's  important that we speak true to them in love   in an understanding way obviously diplomacy  is important staying connected it's important   I remember when Jay I've told the story many  times when Jason when I you know Jason was   going through like a six-month depression I  finally caught him in the laundry room one   day closed the door and said you know what's  going on I'll cut the shortest story short but   he said Dad I'm a homosexual when I asked him  why he thought he was homosexual and I I had   no idea that that's what he was going through I  wouldn't have predicted it was a long time ago   when for homosexuality was it was a thing really  he said well he told me he had oral sex with this   kid just on ongoing yep and and I asked him what  does that have to do with you being a homosexual   and he said well I liked it I said well if  you masturbate it would you be a hand sexual   we both had a laugh and you said well no I said  well your bad behavior doesn't identify that's   great it doesn't that's not who you are it's what  you've done yes and so but I think that I look   back now and of course at that time you know at  that time homosexuality was it wasn't being taught   in the school system and yeah we didn't have a  lot of we didn't have any social media in those   days you know just the internet was just being  birthed yep and so you know but I look at it now   and I think man if that would have been if Jay  would not had a dad in our day and then went to   school and said well you could be a bisexual  homosexual transsexual pansexual uh whatever   whatever else yep I mean I think it would have  put him in 10 years of struggle before he found   himself absolutely so it's really important that  we you know know while the condition of our flocks   you know of our and that we do pay attention  to what's going on and we have the courage   uh to actually confront in a loving kind way  and say what's going on ask I I love what you   said it's beautiful what um man raising kids it's  tough It's the hardest thing I've ever done I far   yeah what else would you say to parents that are  watching we're gonna have so many parents watching   this video I would I I think you probably  couldn't over emphasize connection yeah and   going after their heart if you if you chase their  heart you'll get their life yeah if you're trying   to correct their life you'll probably lose their  heart and it's really critical that's a fine line   it is it is I mean and I'm not I by that I don't  mean don't correct you know I feel there's Seasons   where I'm like gosh I feel like all I did today  was correct all day long like yeah seriously like   that feels like all I did I look at my kid you  like being in trouble all day no I don't like   having you be in trouble all day exactly we fixed  this exactly can you just behave if you give us   both a break can you not slap your brother yeah  just for looking at you please uh but I think   in the busier our culture gets the harder  connection is the harder chasing their heart   becomes yeah and the more creative you have to  be in ways that you do it yeah you know like   we're you know just you vulnerably use an example  from our own life like I feel right now you know   I try to on a weekly basis assess where I'm at  with each kid you know I feel connected with him   do I feel connected with my daughter do I feel  you know I'm trying to assess that I'm looking   at this wise the season ahead and yes I'll look  and say oh I don't feel connected with Cade yeah   hey Kade you want to go out and play soccer for  20 minutes because he loves just play soccer and   we'll go kick the ball around you know and try to  do a weekly check-in with four kids it's really   tough It's hard at those ages at those ages and  so like one of the things we're doing right now   is all three of my boys are really into sports  yeah you know and they're they have practices in   January their Sports all start back up again after  when we get through the holiday seasons you know   I don't know when this is you know when people  are going to watch this but when we're recording   it yeah we're in a nice lull yeah this storm  is coming yeah and so I'm looking ahead like   oh man we're not going to be able to connect a  ton because of practices so I actually went and   looked at YMCA memberships today because my kids  love to go there and I thought well what if we all   do what the why the why together before school  three days a week you know and so I'm trying to   look ahead at where I can make sure to do this uh  because I don't want to be caught off guard with   a question or a situation or a confession that I  don't have the relational connection to Steward   that moment that's really good we got about  five minutes and I'd like to ask you a question   how do I create because what we've talked about  right now is kind of reacting or responding to   you know a negative culture right homosexuality  transgenderism we have all this craziness how do   you create a healthy sexual culture that your kids  can grow up being nurtured and healthy sexuality   in your home what is that what's it mean yeah  that's something we do we do a lot of teaching   on we actually created a course specifically for  this we have a couple of them actually and the   Really the thing that we to simplify hours of of  content and teaching that yeah you know you could   do a whole seminar on this but uh you want to get  rid of the idea of the talk like that's probably   the worst thing that ever happened to the talk oh  man like you want to see your kid down and like   do we only talk about sex once a year so good  right like yeah we have to get rid of the idea   of the talk I mean that has absolutely obliterated  the ability for a parent to teach a kid a healthy   sexual belief system yeah just just so that people  don't misunderstand because I know your message   and I know you we're not saying you shouldn't  have a talk you should have countless talks we're   talking about a culture exactly right whenever we  do this when we're speaking or we do an in-person   session I'll always ask everybody in the room how  many of you had a you had a great home life where   your parents talked about sex in a healthy way  all the time raise your hand nobody raises their   hand and the next question is well how did that  silence work for you yeah how'd it work out and   everybody in the room it left me feeling like I  didn't know answers I had to figure things out   on my own well for us when we didn't know what  to do you talk to a friend now they go to Google   which is like like them being they're it's like  their worst friend you'd ever want them to talk   to absolutely almost 80 percent of pornography  is now violent Exodus Cry did a uh documentary   called raised on porn and one of the statistics  they found is that for a kid who is surfing for   pornography let's just say a 13 year old  yeah that accidentally found it it would   take him 13 minutes of clicking through to get  to non-violent porn so if we don't create an   environment in our home where my kid can ask any  question anytime using any language that he wants   he's going to go to the Internet she's going to  go to the internet and what they're going to find   is going to be detrimental to their ability  to have a healthy marriage 15 years down the   road 20 years down the road how do you  initiate like here's the challenge right   if you wait till your kids are 15 and you're  like okay we're going to have a healthy culture   now the the challenge is is that that's gotta  start early you gotta start early yeah so we we   encourage people again back to the line Discovery  conversations so we we started these conversations   we've started actually with all of our kids you  know my youngest was probably four yeah you know   we started having these age Appropriations yeah  you're not giving them all the information yeah   you're asking questions about what they currently  know yeah and then you're just establishing when   we talk about this there's no discomfort like my  oldest came home when he was in fourth or fifth   grade we're driving home from baseball practice  totally casual and he goes hey Dad a couple of the   kids at school said that like girls suck on boys  penises is that a thing and for him there was no   alarm to the question yeah he just never heard  it before and he came and asked me about it now   I have an opportunity right there yeah to freak  out yeah or to match his tone he has come to me   casually asking a question with no alarm in his  voice because he didn't know to have alarm about   this when he talks to his dad the last thing I  want to do is teach him with my response that when   you ask me about this you should have alarm yeah  you should there's shame attached to this exactly   so we just sat there and casually for four minutes  I said well actually that's a part of sex I'd love   to tell you what sex is do you think you're  ready to know he goes no I don't want to know   what sex is yet I go all right I go but you know  in a couple years when you go to Middle School   we're gonna have to talk about it and I'll explain  that more to you then and he goes okay do you have   any other questions about it now and he goes no I  don't even think I want to think about it anymore   I go great but if you do I need you to come and  ask me when you have more questions because I   don't want you to get on the internet and he goes  okay I'll do that super simple we didn't make   it ruin the whole night because he came home  and asked about oral sex we just simply have   re-established hey we have a culture you can talk  about whatever you want whenever you want however   you want to talk about it when you're talking to  it with us yeah we're going to answer any question   you ask because we don't there's no such thing  as the talk there's a culture that we're trying   to build where they're comfortable about asking  those types of questions and having those types   of conversations that's so good okay how how do  people get in touch with you what are some of the   resources you have yeah and what else would you  like to say as we in this conversation yeah that's   great moralrevolution.com we have more resources  than I could count we have date wealth for men and   women for uh young adults that are wanting to  know how to how do I get healthy and date well   and actually have a relationship that can lead to  marriage we have parent welfare parents that are   looking for and that parent well we've brought in  I mean act literal experts we have a sexologist a   doctor of Psychology from Wheaton College we have  a doctor of psychology front that does connection   codes Dr Glenn Hill and we basically have brought  in all the people that we've used personally uh   you're a part of it you know we have a lot of  great people here at Bethel that are part of it   that help resource parents on what to do we have  a series called sex Church culture for leaders I   mean you go to our website you can probably  find a Blog a podcast or a resource for just   about any area any topic of sexuality if you're  in a marriage and you're trying to recover from   marital unfaithfulness we have a course for you  I know just there's you're you would go to our   website you'd be hard-pressed not to find the  topic that you need at moralrevolution.com and   then on that website from there you can get to the  change website change you can get to equipped to   love crypto love which are all dealing mostly  with homosexuality transgenderism and you're   going to find stuff there like we do a lot of  cross-pollination like we have a lot of blogs that   Ken and Elizabeth have written that'll that are on  the moral Revolution Blog Page uh yes lots of lots   of resources we are trying to create resources for  every possible scenario that somebody would need   cool thank you so much for being on the show  yeah appreciate it a lot you're an amazing   man I love your leadership love Kate's  leadership and God bless you [Music]

Channel: Kris Vallotton

Views: 7,047

Keywords: kris vallotton, bethel church, bethel church redding, prophet, prophetic ministry, sexuality, cultural catalysts, Cole Zick, Moral Revolution, Changed Movement, parenting and sexuality, same sex attraction, homosexuality, purity, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, identity, truth and sexuality, morality, moral problems, moral challenges, created in God's image, Am I a homosexual?, Am I gay?, How to know if I am LGBTQ, what is my sexuality, finding my sexuality, Am I lesbian?

Id: WkgXqryl73I

Length: 32min 9sec (1929 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 08 2023