Wake Up With Talent vs Wake Up With The Perfect Body | SquADD Cast Versus | All Def

meg is that the first all all death shirt from uh popular demand that's what we did that's when we did that party that we had no business doing bro we literally were in there before justin bieber i've never forgotten opened up we open we should have known oh the food two minutes away y'all remember we had that party at one oak and justin bieber oh that was before me that was like the month before me and to here out there oh was it you weren't there yet nope they're not there i just found it was in the closet oh y'all weren't at the party i was at the party i left early because nobody knew me and i felt like i was passionate yeah i thought it was working there i asked them to bring some more hors d'oeuvres oh crashing it you felt like you were crashing it yeah i feel like i was crazy like no everybody knew tony i came with i think nick at the time i came with nick and a couple people knew it but everybody was like hey what's up man and i was like all right i feel like a groupie with nothing to offer these groupies you might be able to get a handy off of it or something like that nobody was buying me drinks the bar was open to here it was an open bar yeah they majorly were you really there you freaking liar no no he was true because it was a photo booth and we did the photo it was like the steel thing it was like three pictures yeah yeah yeah i did that you know what to hear was probably working he was working that party that's why he was he gonna get the free drinks i wanna let everybody know and i'm gonna say it on here cause this this is gonna air next week and by this time i probably have made that announcement i am taking time off and i'm taking zoom in with the homies to three days a week i'm cutting bank you finally bro thank you we're gonna start a coup we literally we're gonna freaking do it intervention on you because you're doing too much why why are you doing so much anyway i'm doing too much what are you trying to prove to hear that i'm never gonna be broke again yeah okay we get that you weren't gonna be broke when you was working at white castles because they paid you so guess what you are a long way from there sir you don't have to do as much as you're doing ah to hear i'm with meg on this one she's right you dog on and no matter what you prove or accomplish you don't give yourself no credit for that you you you you was in a whole pandemic right you was a touring comedian that was your primary income i know i matter of fact i think i was on the road with you if i ain't mistaken you know what he said pat i got to get my numbers up he got over 200 000 followers on instagram which is more than most comedians who are not like kevin hart dave chappelle me tony ryan davis or them you know talking about people who are like strictly stand-up comedians but no it i don't have kev's numbers i don't have tony's numbers i don't have somebody's numbers no tony is almost 2 million on instagram you have on facebook i got two men on there meg i'm trying to make a point here hush i'm talking about instagram here but the point is to hear is trying to do zooming with the homies which is great and i don't want you i don't want this to come across as you are not building a brand but you literally be zooming for the ho with the homies for the pandit because we wasn't doing nothing else now you doing that plus everything else you did it's too much it's too much and you're producing your own birthday show i've been sitting on that since you told me about it i'm gonna get that yeah who don't do it for me guys anybody no nobody pat you dumb dumb human you could have honestly just didn't zoom in with the homies and like everybody change your cash up to see here's all you have been would have been okay and you would always wait you know how much more money you would have made off that no i gotta go to in crowd it gotta be big i gotta have tone bell i don't trust myself exactly what you sound like you know with that i was just about to say i don't even sound like that shut up pat that's what you sound like it wasn't that it was like just trying to make sure people feel like they got their money work to here let me ask you something is zoom with the homies free yes so what money worth what money over here killing himself wrapping shoots at 6 30 like i'm gonna go to the nearest freeway and take a nap of course he's going out of his way to be resting we were shooting the door i'm sorry pat i stepped on you i've been working on this but uh upset me to no end about this we were shooting the challenge show for the app by the way a quick aside i'm not leaving squad cast i've been i shot a tv show one monday and i've been shooting for the app trying to get that going i'm never going to leave squad cast if my monday's free i'm going to do it that's the only reason it just happened to be three mondays in a row where i had something that i couldn't get out of happy to have you ken it's just ha i just love squad casts i read the comments i want to see i was like man do they still like me and they did and i was like whoo jesus but anyway me into his challenge me and tears shot a challenge show from 7am to here we let taher do his talking heads first so he could leave at 6 30. okay 6 30 so he can rush home take a bite of brisket and immediately shoot for another two and a half hours no shot get up at 7 00 a.m and be on set with me i dog i went home and went to bed at 8 30 that night sunday yesterday to hear his daughter was over hanging at the house by the way um she's the best she's taller than him too she's taller than him but she is she has a good time but to hear shot all day on sunday and guess what he's doing today not drinking the arrowhead that's in the fridge i took all the arrowhead out they better be out this bag right there it's a bag full of them the prank was for three dog on months i was like eventually he's gonna take this out right no he wasn't i didn't know it was so hated i thought you guys would be like oh rump and then drink it there was no dent in it there was no doubt literally we would buy new water and put it in front of the arrowhead once that was out we were like we're out of water there's 300 bottles we're out of water i said yes i'm feeling i'm going to kill this guy i don't know what you're talking about i'm tired are the drinks in there and listen y'all let me tell you something if you watch doing with the homies you know how i told to hear i said you can do something with the homies four days a week but you gotta let something else go yeah if doing the homies is lucrative but people will watch enjoy be like oh where's it at and they don't be they don't be tipping like that and i get it i'm not even saying they have to but to hear he's gonna kill himself trying to be everything to everybody and it's one thing to hear was making 50 grand a month i'd be like man you gotta do what you got to do but then you wouldn't have to do the other stuff right but we were sure went to here the other day i was like bro you were beat yeah yeah yeah appreciate you he had just enough energy to to get through the shoot uh and that's the thing about the dog on app it ain't a lot of us it just be us so you got to be number one on the call sheet all day ain't no trailer to go back in listen i was shooting that tv show i couldn't do squad cast i'm talking about i was in that trailer a long time they were calling everybody but me i said y'all hey i'm here shut up man we'll get to you at 3. but anyway but for our stuff it'd just be us so you got to be there the whole time and then josh during to hear pray put your head up to here and get this during his break pat and meg you know what to hear does instead of taking a lunch break he gets he has a whole photo shoot with josh during the time he was supposed to be off for his break he has a photo shoot yeah josh cannon was like hold on i know you're not i know you i thought he was drunk he was like hey josh you would uh can we uh we get this photo in real quick to hear look i respect your hustle i understand why you do what you do and why you work so hard but even god took a day off boo okay that's a big g yeah you could do it and imagine how many days god would took off if he was raising east st louis man i need three of these things and eating brisket for breakfast come on man your stomach's not built for that nobody's is all right this is love to hear it says take a break before you kill yourself at an early age because you already got high cholesterol so this and high blood pressure man we got high blood pressure and you got ass sleep apnea so you got all this stuff and and you ugly so you put all that together not a good combination he was moving this flow before but he's now he's sleepier now i went to the doctor i went to the dentist to get my teeth and the dentist took my blood pressure and she was like what's going on in your life i was like nothing what you mean she was like i can't operate on you with your blood pressure this high i was like no i'm i'm a man i was like i'm just nervous she was like okay i'll give it 10 minutes and i'll do it again 10 minutes came back it was higher i was like that's not even that's not even remotely possible i've just been sitting here doing nothing just like you've been sitting here i was like all right i was editing while i was sitting here but i was sitting here editing doing nothing else at the same time here calm down went down it went down because i got the teeth i got new teeth you know that stress to hear your body doesn't know where it processes stress the same way whether it's induced fear a dog chasing you or you got too many things to do your body just knows stress i'ma suck you out bro i'mma suck you when i see you i'm gonna i'm gonna does anything cause high blood pressure it's not that it's just that sahir has so much stress he's always having to work his mind is always on he never has a chance to not think or not do and when he does he thinks oh i gotta do something else i gotta i gotta edit i gotta book you gotta just be um sometimes you just gotta man i read this book called um something about energy i sent it to here but he was this this world-renowned painter he he was sitting he painted and then he took time off so when he was laying down i'm sorry when he was painting his assistant came in he was like i'm sorry i mean to bother you while you're working he was like oh no i'm working i'm not i'm working i'm just painting she was like oh okay and then when he she the assistant came back he was resting she's like oh oh i can talk to you i'm resting he's like now i'm working and the book was talking about how when you are creative the rest is where you actually get refilled and you have ideas and jokes like that and if you don't take that you're eventually going to be less efficient because you never give your body a chance to recover and that's part of the work the rest is part of the work and to hear just goes and goes and goes and eventually you're gonna be trash on this because with the homies you're gonna be trash there was episode i was on with you and i was like whoa you suck today and i know cause i was sucking i recognize it in you i was like we both probably shouldn't even be on here and i was falling asleep that's my limit when it starts to show on camera like that's the one thing you can't really justify like you can work work work work work but then once it starts to show on camera that means that you're working isn't even really going to be that good anyways right so right i feel like once i once i've figured out that you can rest and not like it like i don't really like resting but i just see it as necessary yeah like i'm just i'm i'm i know that i'm i'm getting like not enough done and i'm i think about all the things that i should be doing but i just i sit in that literally that's the that was a hard thing for me to learn and i've been working on the last six months and i told to hear this and y'all ain't hearing nothing we ain't tell to hear off camera so don't don't be like why didn't tell him this on the side we just telling him so y'all so y'all know the part y'all playing this is don't don't get on him when it goes down in one week because i know if you ain't give him a hundred days for doing with the home a hundred dollars a day we're doing with the homies and hush but um he's nodding off now he is yeah he's been asleep for the past five minutes the whole time but uh just being and just relaxing that thing's still gonna have to be done but robert i don't play so many dog on seasons of fifa my character my creative player is a beast i score eight goals people like play me online i don't want to lose this is my fun time right my character wins he wins player of the year every year he wins goldie i don't need real life stress i don't want to lose that's the truth i want to win i want to get hat tricks i want to do bicycle kicks in this world i always win that is people in the comments want to spoil your fun they're like add me i'm level 6 000. like that's not even going to be fun for you you just want to see me stop smiling people will always be like play me kev no no i play the what i play the computer when i make a super dope go i've i videotaped and i sent it to josh this is my life well uh i think this is a perfect place for us today it's not the first topics uh we're gonna get into this first topic right after this listen if you sell stuff online you're definitely in the right business more people are shopping online than ever before that means a lot more orders coming in and a lot of orders that you'll need to ship out fast that's why online sellers like you need shipstation no matter how much you sell shipstation makes it super easy to manage and ship all your orders from all your sales channels faster cheaper and more efficiently i mean you can do anything you can import orders from sales channel you can 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that's two months okay two months free of no hassle stress free shipping just go to shipstation.com click on the little microphone at the top of the page and type in squad that's shiftstation.com into the promo code squad and you will get two months 60 days of a free trial come on let's make ship happen all right before we jump into the first topic let me introduce our special guest we got young joshua guns in the building bam rappers and musicians to to film i don't know what to find back i didn't like that but wind out you gotta wrap it up why did y'all do a will smith topic when i'm not on here as the resident person who worked with the wheel that's that you don't know him but i met him and i got this show on his gram also i said i wasn't coming back off squad guys after i shower will and then the next three weeks i didn't come back unrelated i was just i was in the comments like did he really mean that i was like no it just worked out that way okay my bad go ahead here i'm interrupting today because i miss you for three weeks so y'all gonna deal first topic of the day we have would you rather wake up with a new talent versus wake up with the perfect body first of all what are you doing pat this is not your personal massage session oh my this whole day is my personal massage session you didn't believe the gun if you've seen the gun and didn't believe it get it you really just walking around after pat finishes i'm gonna go i'm gonna go off camera go get it from him and come in here do the same thing on my lower back right because i'm tattered right there too heavy i knew you didn't really care i'll show you i'm about to work crazy it's here i know right she's not gonna suffer yeah go down don't do it to hear that um what y'all thinking wait what kind of new talent like a new talent like juggling because if that's the case no like not like obviously you would get to pick i already have the i have a good body at the nips yo the shadows from this lighting is not flattering bro you looking a little defined here i'm telling you bro you got some definition boy into these them things just dang it look at what it is [Music] your titties ain't really titty and they're more like chest muscling loki is this the rock or kev on stage i don't know oh don't worry the same leaking the rocky road not dang it let me have one thing for one second man rocky road so i guess you're going with the body or man let me tell you what how permanent are these things do you have the talent forever is the body for every talent forever you have the body forever and you're like whatever you wanted yeah so like let's say like my perfect body would be abs and four more inches of height [Laughter] people would overlook the guns if i had like four more inches of height and i had a six pack like i don't think people would really be tripping i'll call you to hear five five seven eight five nine so five seven though i don't think you're five nine for sure i know you're not five nine i'm fine you hit me with heel lifts cam cam is right here you got those wedges you can't you can't count your hair to here i'm not counting my hair kevin i'm five nine you're not though you just keep saying that i feel like you're not here i'm five seven and i feel like when i see you we look eye to eye you are the same height as meg yeah actually meg might be taller than you i think i didn't want it oh meg because when y'all used to be doing the drop to hear was on the apple box he was on the half apple he was on the court my god hollywood magic he was on the corner he's always on the apple box that was right just the times y'all weren't standing yeah sometimes she wore heels that's really cool is that why you had to get on the apple box then yeah you're like five eight max to here don't try to get away how tall is a barrel let's start [Laughter] how tall is a classic can you imagine a barrel a barrel in a in a warehouse into here walk about like oh they're going to hear there's a family reunion man what's up don't walk by us like you don't know us you're gonna be tagging me in the most ridiculous stuff y'all seen that video with all the gingers in the field y'all know how many times people sent that video to me they was like oh i bet you felt right at home huh i was like what field you know it hits home when all you just said man shut up it was like all ginger's packed all gingers like just nothing but red hair everywhere and i don't know it was like a music festival or something but every it was floating around for like a week about two weeks ago and i'm still you're considered gingerbread that doesn't imply white with redhead bro they don't they don't know how to separate the race are you saying gender or ginger ginger ginger ginger is your beard really red to you because it looks like it's like just a different shade of brown oh that's lowry's um that's larry's he just do that in the morning [Laughter] how does he instead of beard oil he used a howling rays sauce mild sauce it ain't even me today to hear see wait jaden is a would be a ginger then too right yeah he's for sure ginger black people with red hair they'd be looking kind of demonic [Laughter] it's crazy because the hair has red beard but his hair is dark that's what i'm glad too cause like pat's not wrong though when you see people were red haired guys especially they just was like you didn't know what's going around my cats i don't want him around my animals but you know jedenna dyes his either his hair his one of his one is not the as dark as it's supposed to be or is it he's still a redhead right yeah but he's like to hear though his i know his beard and his hair ain't the same color i don't know which is more red i'm assuming it's his beard but he does diet my my beard is definitely the red my hair is dark as hell my head i wonder what the correlation between red hair and freckles is like i don't get why that's always like a thing that's a package deal like it's pretty consistent i don't get it it's it's a genetic thing bro y'all should have a conference conference sorry i'll talk about wait what's the diameter of your freckles it'd be at like the mandalay bay in vegas it's like other people with freckles and a lanyard y'all get broken up in a small group spot diameter all right it would be a circuit circus this is the recipe that circuit circuits are literally eight dollars a piece dawg i mean to here when i first moved to l.a we took a vacation we have no bread the roots are no lies 22 dollars one night but you have the manner yeah you get exactly what you pay for with them a pack of newports waiting for you in the room it's one already lit so you can light your next one off of that are there sweets do they even bother having sweets no no they'd be like sweet man shut up you know why you're here the sweets just come with bathrooms it's like what are the regular roofs that's so i've never been there i wonder how they treat like high rollers because high rollers they three high rollers at another hotel you gotta shuttle them in yeah man if you got money what the heck are you doing that circus circus you know what i do know somebody who goes to circus circus every year to gamble and i was like you do know there's other places in vegas you could go do they win a lot man they they play uno you could gamble they use jelly beans they just [ __ ] 100 grand playing rock paper scissors yeah i play rock paper scissors with moe invitational thank you two clown noses things don't even play at a table they're just playing dice on the ground and card tables take a motel 6 in vegas before i go to circus circus i ain't going to go to you what about the golden nugget i heard that was like a cheap place too that's that old school that's uh it's old vegas in it yeah it's like no las vegas what what's like people still go to old vegas or you are yeah the dude who um tony something who who found his zappos he recently died but he was his life mission was to like re rehabilitate old vegas he was trying to make it popping again they got music festivals there well not anymore shout outs to the pinata but um that's where they got like the zip lines and stuff in old vegas oh that's that's what he added oh i don't know if he added that i was just saying stuff happens there still it's not just like that's a funny hey guys it's like a funny idea to get people to come back he's like let's make people fly through this with the talent you get to pick the talent that you want or you get to pick the perfect body so i would like i would definitely pick like like the height in the in the um and the in the abs but if it was a talent i would i would sing it hold on to here it's just funny that when you daydream you'll be like man if i was foreign and why was those inches so specific it's not like i'd be challenging four only four i already thought like when you six two or six three and above people expect you to know how to play basketball you don't need that that's true they'd be like why you gonna play basketball like [ __ ] because i don't know how yeah he would probably be a little more athletic if you were that height you could just be taller be tall and just travel to all people but the problem is is if you're not athletic you just uncomfortable all the time like their problems be trash they'd be like man i can't fit in a a car a small car or like doors like it's they just seem uncomfortable all the time we us short people have to justify this [ __ ] okay let us are you short oh yes no nine five nine no you think you're a live pack cause that's a little bun on your head maybe you're five nine but you i'm the ball the bun makes me five like 11. that's a lie because i could punch you right down your face and i would go like this not like this why would that be the first thing you have to do to see how charlie is yeah this measuring tape if i'm five seven you're pat you're not taller than me okay you're not i i just saw you the other day you're not taller than me right where do you see pat at um we we were shooting at for dad jokes last week oh my god i'm not five i'm not thrilled wait no don't you you told them that they don't measure your height at the dmv you can't just tell them stuff yes you can that's what you do you tell them you're high in your weight my license absolutely says 215. it's been many a year since i was [Laughter] i was two you told them that number okay well then what's the official where where you get your official hype the doctor last time i was at the doctor they said five nine did did they put the theme on the top of your box believable i don't even look like i'm five seven you think i'm five seven no i think you're like five eight you had to hear look about the same height actually you look a little shorter than him so you i'll put you at five eight i put him in five nine i'm five nine or ten you can whatever you man pick these talents on this body which one y'all going with what i was gonna say about that is having a perfect body overrated nothing in my life that i have i wouldn't what in my life would i not have if i had abs and i was ripped well you're also not a woman oh you know what meg dang i never thought about that yeah you're not i i'm i'm not a woman so having a perfect body as a man is a good point it's different for women pretty privileged sexism weightism heightism all that stuff but for a man jack black is my guide if i could have the career of jack black i'm like he's still doing great he's not lost no way i had little rail but he lost weight i was like come on little red i was i was looking to you to be like okay i don't need to do this but jack black first of all he just made a hilarious tick tock where he was thor and i was like he's still big he's still running around his shirt out he be he's in movies he did serious movies he did funny movies he makes funny music he seems like he's having a great time all the time and he doesn't have the perfect body you don't think his life would be a little better if he was healthier who says he's not healthy just because you're big don't mean you ain't healthy and just because you're small don't mean you are healthy but to hear is big and unhealthy but that doesn't prove your point [Laughter] you have a pill box that you got a monday through sunday that you got to take pills from that says something they have skittles in them gotta take my five monday pills why not even buy this i always just eat the week let's see what wednesday talking about [Laughter] these are my thursday skittles but i'll put more in before that deco oh that's a pointless refill oh man i mean as a woman i'm definitely picking the perfect body because i feel like that's something women deal with all the time we are in a patriarchal society that puts a heavy burden on how women should look and what's the perfect body to you meg it's just about uh oh i'm about to get it cause i'm about to buy it with this lipo i'm gonna have it soon have you heard jasmine sullivan uh album hotels meg yes i have there's a song on there called uh the other side i think yeah she's talking about i'm gonna move to atlanta i'm a five-year-old rapper he gonna buy me a booty cost like maybe 3 000. it ain't even that much that's the going rate for butt i think like 2 25 3 000 yeah what if you want to do and then if you want to do the whole thing like the lipo because that's just getting you know if you just want your butt now but if you want like the lipo and the butt you get that for like four forty five hundred five the bad one can you guys can is it possible to negotiate that i've always been curious is it like a car dealer you know what i found some businesses that will do it as long as like as you if you let them document your journey and put it on your instagram or something yes they will they give you a big discount mini doc on the on the brazilian your journey is so funny are you really going to do that meg yeah why not come on studios producer ken had you signed up for one two three two for a chest with that for me okay that's for you oh for me i would get it if you could add if you can get a brazilian chest lift i would absolutely do that it's a pectoral uh surgery factorial all right let's put it to a vote i'm going for the perfect body i mean i can already sing and stuff so i cannot just shut up i want to i want to have a perfect body okay it's easier to do and then the fact that i can eat whatever i want and still maintain it that is i'm sorry so that's a superpower sold what about you i'd probably go with the talent man because there would be there'll be some things that i want to learn i'm just like ah i'm not i'm not trying to dial in on that for five years to be the best at it what talent i want to be thoroughly musically inclined one day when i wake up and learn how to play any instrument that i get [Music] um would that be a talent or would that be like every musical talent like what's the what's the talent limitations talent could be whatever you want if he wants to just be musically inclined for any and every instrument he can do that every that counts i gotta go with i gotta go with body because if you could eat anything that's a superpower that'd be hard we ripped it as an old man one body uh i've lived almost 40 years without the perfect body and i've had a good life if i could wake up and play electric guitar and i was dope i'd much rather have that than to be like oh cool i look like mine could be jordan i forget that yeah i go with talent too so it looks like the talents have it on that one we're gonna jump right into this next topic right after this hey what's up fellas yeah you you and you i just want to let you know two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35 all right y'all take that out you want to take it but i'll let you know there's more than 50 million men in the u.s suffer from male pattern 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missing out on free savings and it's literally free to install and it installs within seconds and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast get honey for free at joinhoney.com squad again that's join honey dot com slash squad s q u d one last time jointhoney.com squad and get your money back put it back in your pocket next topic of the day we have would you rather never have breakfast again versus never have a dessert again easy peasy easy man i am over desserts never been a fan every time i went out to eat and by the time they said you want to see the dessert venue i was always full i never got how people saved or compartmentalized their hunger like the entree if they don't knock me out like i don't know but you ain't fat that's why i'm just i'm just i i've had i'll be having fat moments and i'll i'll destroy my entree and be like uh and i i don't i don't know pat don't never order dessert because he already know he's giving up the butt at the entree like you taking me to steak shack this butt is yours give up the mud you don't want dessert because he is [Music] [Laughter] dessert his only fan's name is snack cloud oh okay part of the segment from the top rope i'm the andre the appetizer i'm five courses of dreadlock love i did not get this chunky off breakfast okay so i'm gonna have to keep my desserts you know what what's funny is that it's this is like a this is for sure a hereditary thing dj thomas at our like family reunions or um our family hosts thanksgiving every year and there's table there's like table for the main food there's table for the drinks and there's table for the desserts digit times let everybody line up to get the food and he would be at the dessert table and guess what little kid would be with him okay so we'd start with dessert because everybody was in the in the food line so he was like we might as well just start eating and pies and the cake so we would start there and by the time we got done then the line for the actual food was like short so then we would go through that line you all started off with pie we did yeah i blame my father for the chunk blame my father for the chunk yeah uh a lot uh bt kingsley he eats dessert first too he said just in case i'm eating something happens i lose my life i want to go with have eaten the cake already that's funny casey loses his life yeah he's like in case something happens earthquake and i die i want to die after i already had dessert i don't know i wonder how that is ordering i mean used to like when you go out to eat and be like no i really want dessert first like how does that you can do what you want how does that go over conversation at the table though man everybody's ready to leave and you're just getting your main course i hate that people are like yeah let me get the dessert course it's like uh i'm saying i'm with pat i breakfast is way more important i'm always hungry for breakfast i don't mind sweets but i also can go without them it's not like oh man i gotta have a full dessert but breakfast bro breakfast be also breakfast is something that i like to eat for dinner as well different but also good um you would do without icing for the rest of your life i'd rather do without ice cream the rest of my life than do without omelets i eat more breakfast than i do i i could go a week without dessert and not be like ah man i really wanted a dessert right if i kept missing breakfast and but i always had cake to look forward to or pirates or milkshakes i'd be like ah now mine ate both what's your favorite of both to me probably the best thing is very well done french toast to me is like the best breakfast has to offer french toast i love french pancake girl pancakes are fried honestly i'm probably gonna go i'm keeping breakfast i love breakfast i could eat bacon eggs and english muffin every single day for the rest of my life and be completely content that would disorder i will go out to a breakfast place and still get bacon and eggs with uh english muffin what do you guys get if it was like your ideal breakfast pancakes eggs just like a standard um i'm getting an omelette i would love to get an omelette to get some some nice hash browns home-cut fries that's that's my joint right there uh nobody's like the waffles waffles yeah i got to be in the middle i'm okay without waffles yeah i don't like it they gotta be dressed up too much yeah it messes with my my uh left brain right brain because i have to make sure like every little square has syrup and ugh it's just too much work you you do that yes i'll be yes and if it's too much in one and not any in the other square then they'd be making it'd be messing with me why are you focused on that i don't know when i just that's why i don't like it i pour and i'd be like ah it's not in every square and then actually when you put it in every square that is way too much syrup absolutely but then if you don't put it in there then it's dry and hard i just don't like it's too much work you're getting frustrated just thinking about it i am it's almost anxiety we have to deal with meg so much but we forget that meg also has to deal with megs like in her in her own mind like it's nagging herself their syrup syruples squares gets to so much so that when i give my son i give him waffles pretty frequently but i'll let him i don't put syrup on his he doesn't get dip because of your pronounced syrup the you don't say syrup you say syrup syrup syrup because it's hawaii syrup syrup syrup syrup most people say syrup why did why do we say syrup because i definitely say syrup you say syrup maple syrup syrup syrup and what there's no us sound for a why you guys i said i say syrup but it's why you yeah it says sy yeah that's why you know right now like syria [Music] that's what i'm saying either syrup or syrup and it's definitely not syrup so then it has to be syrup i mean it might just because it's supposed to be pronounced that way don't mean that's how we gonna pronounce it right that's it's true but that don't mean nothing don't make us no never mind how it's supposed to go all right is that a is that a deal breaker on a date for y'all if they were like can i get some maple syrup i'd be out of there the best this is totally random but there's a person that all deaf name used to go by crass right crass and we asked i asked him where's your nickname come from and he said my name is chris i lived in the south and this girl's accent was so strong she said cry ass that's why they call him that that's where crabs got his nickname from it was a it was a country girl saying chris hey cry ass what that's a good name i like i like nicknames with a good origin story right black people just be like you choked on a peanut one time we feel to call you peanut like no this was a dramatic experience i don't call me something call me something based off a good thing not not trip right i was just gonna say like when you find out your friend ray ray's real name is like lenny and you're like what where'd that come from he's just like yeah that's just what my auntie called me like a trash origin my homeboy's name is anthony davis his dad calls him johnny for no reason he just was like i like johnny like well why didn't you just name him johnny then you had the choice you had the choice of that by the way this is so dumb and i never admitted this out loud but who cares we're friends i tried to make zayze's nickname be peanut when he was a baby and after like five weeks melissa was like can you just can you just stop doing that it's not you're the only one saying peanut it's not sticking it's just weird i was in the nurse and he was born i was in the hospital like hey peanut this is my son peanut and then she just was like hey just stop man that kills confidence it's hard to go for like a new lingo or like try to start something just come with a new word with your friends oh y'all remember all about the benjamins where ice cubes said lig it i was like oh don't that's not a thing when you're here the first time you're like please don't catch us don't make fetch happen don't fetch is not gonna happen i've always called him bubba that was pretty common okay where did you get that from though meg i don't know just one day i was just like come here little bubba and then it's just like stuck but mav is already a nickname i know but that's what i'm saying it's only a nickname that i call him and i actually like the fact that i'm the only one that calls him that like that's so he knows that's my mama calling me did you have any nicknames growing up meg no megan kind of sucks i mean i guess meg is a nickname though it is maybe like lamini or something oh i did it's a korean one though it's um it's a medjoo which kind of means like a little ugly that's why you always call people ugly because you know that's not why i call him that but probably it might be deep down inside because i think i used to like cry angry so my uncle called me that but i also was like wait is it because i'm not a hundred percent korean that's why you call me ugly there's probably some racism in there it's like uncle all the way korean huh was that uncle pure korean oh yeah yeah but it was like but it's like a cute term but then i was just like why ain't nobody else being called ugly i don't know it's a cute term little ugly baby no no no that's a cute term it's endearing [Laughter] oh it's cute little ugly it's always wild to me when i see meg go back and visit her family and it'd be the full korean people i'd be like megan for real is korean i'd be forgetting really really korean because a lot of times a lot of black and korean people they don't spend a lot of time with their full korean side of the family it's just usually their mom meg's granddad uh you visit her granddad i'm like yo meg has a full on full korean family yeah like people in there they don't even speak english that well like really yeah so wait do you speak fluent no i can like read and write it but my speaking is it's not that great huh is your mom not speaking it in the home no well she would sometimes but then i would always answer in english she never made me answer in korean so i got a useless skill basically like korean's a tough language to learn it's not is this like english it's letters it's not like chinese you know chinese has like characters but there's 24 letters in the korean language so you still know the korean alphabet yeah dang it how you spell ugly in it yuck me oh you want me to sing i'm going to sing it yeah you can sing go ahead give it to us okay so i don't know if this is the official one but this is the one that when i was in korean school they taught us it was on like their popup which is like their sesame street or whatever so it goes [Music] that's better than ours i forgot the rest you have a little breakdown like that you go la la la and you go back into it or is level oh then you do the other half but i forgot the other half right now i'm having brain fog that's kind of cool what's your middle name again meg i'm not telling you and i've never told you in how many years i'm not telling you i want to catch you slowly we try to get it out of us you have been trying for five years now to find out what's gonna tell anybody is it do you not like it no i don't really like it and the crazy part is not anything like crate it's if you heard it you'd be like that's what you don't like we're going to find out meg's middle name is pam we've been like well that was just youtube so anticlimactic really imagine her middle name is tahir and that's why it's like oh that does make a lot of sense all right you always call me ugly ain't that right little ugly jew let's go to a vote man we going on never having breakfast again or never having dessert again ever having dessert never having dessert for me too never having dessert all right pat never having dessert ever nick i'm gonna say i'll never have breakfast again because me and deacon thomas's bond over cake is important you are ridiculous looks like [ __ ] sideshow bob [Laughter] [Music] listen we deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and why especially when it comes to something that we take every day that's why rituals clean vegan friendly multivitamin is formulated with high quality nutrients and bioavailable forms that your body can actually use what you won't find sugars okay gmos major allergens synthetic fillers and artificial colorants plus the fresh taste and delayed release capsule design makes taking your vitamins easy and that was a key seller for me because i've taken a number of multivitamins a lot of them have that weird aftertaste or delayed weird aftertaste but with ritual you have a fresh minty taste and i absolutely love it and you get to know exactly what's going in your body like for me that's big because you know a lot of people tell you take this take this but why what what what even is it well ritual telling me exactly what's in each capsule i feel a lot more secure putting this in my body see ritual is the multivitamin reimagined a multivitamin should contain key nutrients and forms your body can actually use to help fill the gaps in your diet no shady extras okay rituals delayed release capsule design delivers high quality nutrients including vitamin d3 in just two daily peels and like i said ritual is made traceable you'll always know what nutrients you're taking and where they're coming from thanks to rituals one of a kind visible supply chain so if you're ready to take it up or not get key nutrients without the bs ritual is offering my listeners 10 off during your first three months all you have to do is visit ritual.com squad to start your ritual today again visit ritual.com squad to start your ritual today that gets you 10 off your first three months all you have to do is visit ritual.com squad last and final topic of the day we have would you rather spend the day as another race or spend the day as another gender first of all i don't know if y'all can see this while we've been shooting to hear so you can't see it but here sent me three flyers and we just spent the first 15 minutes telling him he worked too hard what did he do what is the matter what do you do send me proofs of flyers you you don't listen we spent a whole 15 minutes telling you we love you and you work too hard and that whole time he was looking down he was finalizing flyers all right we thought he was absorbing the information like i know guys i know but he was really like that this excel sheet needs to be filled out yeah that's straight to our face man you know why you know why the negro league is not around right now why meg tell us it's because of you to here okay or somebody similar to you the man that started the negro leagues great idea right you got all these talented baseball players they're just black major league baseball whatever was called like that didn't want to hire him right so this man had a great idea why don't i just start this league it's just all for black players he started it it blew up it took off it was amazing he had so much work it was very hard work for him right because now he's got all these different teams and he's got to coordinate we're going to coordinate championships recruitment all that stuff right so he builds it negro leagues blows up it's huge you know major league's trying to like steal players but not really because they're black so they're trying to do all this stuff right so guess what happens he works so hard he doesn't learn how to delegate he doesn't learn how to take breaks he works so hard the man dies suddenly probably from a heart attack i'm not sure but either way he dies and with him then yes and with him the negro league dies as well because he didn't take time to probably prepare other people he didn't delegate he didn't teach anybody else hey you know what why don't you send the flyers out for me today because i'm doing something else or hey i'm not going to be here this week i've already put together a team that can handle it so i can go take a break that's scary that's literally the worst case scenario like you did all that work and then didn't tell anybody else how to do it and then died from working and then so when he died everybody was like i don't know where none of this stuff is i don't know where the money is i don't know how he ran stuff he just worked worked worked worked so to hear i say all that to say all the stuff that you're doing will be in vain if you do not take a break and you need to build a team as you get bigger and if you die to hear i'm gonna take over zuma with the homies and i'm gonna probably i'm gonna go ahead and make sure you got from this i'm like this is an attractive property to keep going on give us a city attractive property and you know number two i would say to here this is what my brother would have wanted man i didn't want it that's what he would tell everybody this is what he would have wanted man and yes i sold it to viacom for three million dollars i'mma give you know i'm saying his family i'm gonna give him a little bit but you don't stay in honor of my brother very generous five percent i wouldn't give his family all the wings but tell you why you're alive to hear so when you're transitioning you know kevin took my the homies i'm gonna call it uh stream yarding with the squad ernie's gonna tears gonna start resting more just so that doesn't happen with the squad visual is he's gonna be like nah i gotta rest can't have cam take over the show and you already know i'm taking wording is hard that's i'm going to do streaming with the streaming with the squad at five o'clock up to here yeah i'm doing wording is hard with max scoop you can't beat me because i know words would like to hear i'm taking google hangs with the gang at 4 30 leading in the kemp show [Laughter] google hangs with the gang but to answer your question to hear i want to be a woman i want to see what coochie feels like what'd that feel like to have that i want to see i only want to be a woman to feel like i got titties i already know what that's like i got titties they're small but i i imagine it's not much different than what women go through but that coochie what that feels like what's that clip feel like you could you could rub it against your jeans and with that what's that like i don't need it all day let me just see what that thing smells like i would definitely flick the bean absolutely that'll be the first thing i did when i got a coochie give me about 20 minutes let me see what all this all the excitement was about i could be a dj if i was a man myself from whatever situation turned me into a woman like all right well is there a bathroom around here or is it literally pat if they had a movie and i woke up i'm a woman excuse me give me about 20 minutes i don't need to do no research before the magic wears off i need to know what that feels like i don't even know i don't even need to leave the house really i don't care about like oh what are people how do people look at you how do men treat you i'm good with all that i just want to i just wanted the cooch oh you know what out here i would hit a sex score and i would i would put stuff in me oh man i wanna see what all the fuss is about i'll be throwing everything in the cart pat will drop a stack at the sex store i would how much food i could get for free food and drinks i would just oh come on of course to here the first thing you think about is eating you got this whole new experience and you already know what food tastes like here wants to try out flirting on the other side i know you rocking with this now tell me i want to know what it feels like to hear that when i'm on the bottom also pass me the brisket please thank you gotta feed this cholesterol to here we'll be trying on women's shoes you like y'all really had all the good fashions and stuff low-key you got way better options that guy's got shoulders i always get the dope colorways of jordan's too those cream off-white fours i was like i would go shopping no no that's what the hair would do i don't know what i would do leave me in the dark uh it's cookie time it's coochie time say that but there's stuff that comes with that what if what if you wake up as a woman and you're on your period oh man come on man that sucks you can't have that the first week hey you don't have a vaginal disorder you don't know your cycle you don't know your rhythm you just wake up give me three weeks of regular first you know super messed up i'd still do it i'm still i mean what's the time parameters i i assume i'm gonna get a dick in 24 hours so i'm gonna just be like all right it's gonna be a little messy but uh what if this is forever i thought that was gonna happen right here no it's a movie meg it's like a month it's like yeah let's just say a month i would be a man i would definitely i don't really care about being a different race i'd rather be a man because it's a man's world okay i would helicopter first okay and then i would take my penis and go like this with it that's fun but you're mis you'd be missing out you guys are like oh i would flick the beam well i'm saying i never had a penis before so i feel like it's a lot of fun i would pee i would shake you know i would do that kind of and then i would definitely go use it i would find a vagina to put it in because you guys seem to love it we do because i'd be like okay what does it feel like to be fantastic i don't know if i want to be penetrated though i don't i don't know if i'd be excited to take some though had to i don't think i'd want comes with the territory yeah but i i think i'd just be masturbating i don't want to be i don't want to no you got to take it all you got you don't have to i could be celibate you can't make me take dick this is my it's my hypothetical situation that's true it was just like hey no you can't even you want to try out the merchandise i don't feel like i would do that the first three weeks i i'd be by myself for a little bit first yeah at least get through the probationary period but the dude has a face and and a smell and i don't know you could go to get a dildo for the sex story you said you would that's what i said i would do the little that sucker man what'd that thing feel like man y'all got the the things that be moving at the same time i'm like yo y'all got the works i feel like pat you were just like four weeks late up in your bed with different toys just touching your plate what is this getting different things i'd be like okay this is a small one that's too small this is how women feel about small penises this one's too big ah now i get it are you goaty locks this penis is too small this is they're all too big this one is just right if they're all plugged into the wall pat's electric spill is going to be skyrocketing it's going to be nothing but who is that whose neighbors be like pat did you open a barber shop what's going on you'll be hearing like three going at once get out of here i have a [ __ ] turn the lights off just a mean old woman in the window get out of here kids scram you're banging the window with the toys hey hey scrap you leave the amazon package at the front [Laughter] and for whatever reason somebody puts that time stamp and you click there and that's the first thing you hear out of context that makes no sense oh so i feel like as a woman it's not i feel like it's it's obviously as a woman it's not hard to find sex but i also don't think it's that hard to find another woman to scissor with you even if they're not like that's what you're concerned with oh i would have a scissor fest oh my god arts and crafts all weekend cardboard cutouts everywhere by the time pat's going to cooch we have nothing like that on our side you could just smush your vagina against another vagina and it's you guys both start screaming what was this that sounds really fun that's what i think being a woman is about listening you know just flick your clitoris that's like that is like a small percentage of what being a woman means you know one of the first things i'm gonna do after a helicopter i'm gonna go i'm gonna apply for a job as a man i'm gonna go there and i'm going to ask for exactly what i'm worth and i'm going to get it you're ruining the fun of having a break y'all want truth this is you should go and pee and spell your name out that's what you're missing in the snow oh that's oh that's fun i would do that too i've always wanted to just like whip it out in the alley just be like dudes don't get to get jobs too it's not like people are just like every dude is just like i have a penis hire me and they're like there you go you know less on yeah for the same job so i would go i get it yeah i get the i get the political message [Laughter] you would know what it's like to get your cucciate for once i didn't even think about that oh my god multiple orgasms women can come three four times a session and cheat it's the cheap move it's a cheap move and you could just grab the back of their face and put more in you like yeah hey [ __ ] [Laughter] i want to see what that feels like from the other side it seems like everybody like eating but always like giving head always say like a chore like this do it all the way man [Laughter] like you ate that wrench off her back oh man it was a napkin all right yeah that's what i mean you guys get to get you now you ate a piece of the bag too i think he was gonna remember too nah man i've watched that video plenty of times since that day i go back and watch all right well hold on i have the question of what about the other races because we didn't talk about that i don't want to be another race two kids there's nothing exciting about that i mean even if you were another uh another ginger you still would be a black we would all be black females come on now i don't want to be white i don't want to be asian nothing against those people but black is the best anything else you're used to it too we're used to it too it's like we already know what to expect when they see it so yeah i mean if it was a different culture like i wouldn't want especially wouldn't be another race that's in america like if i were like a tibetan monk i would maybe we'll see see what that's like that might be more interesting to me if i could speak a different language see what that life is like but just being like you know you want to be the tibetan version of yourself basically no but that comes with the whole immediate lifestyle if we were just i just to an asian dude in los angeles that it would just be like there's no immediate it would just be mike lah there's no fun in that you didn't say anything what did you what did you want to do josh don't want to say that he wants a coochie out loud it's bad for the brand i mean you don't want to get your coochie that's that's what sent me i was like you know what this is not for me man it's not for me on that side on that side of the target no shot as soon as you did the head movement i was like and that's the reason for that reason josh got off the bus right there i'm going to get off right here just walk the rest of the way no school i know i live about 20 miles from here i'm gonna just go i'm gonna just walk you know it's it's nice south it's about to be nice a little walk don't even worry about it it's a good day i think about these things that was a lot of thought into that one though i really feel like you've sat here and smoked and just thought about this for a while i didn't that's why this was so exciting i got to explore this place i would flirt with my homeboys and then the next day when i changed back i would show them all the stuff that i was like you know you said this to me right you sent it [Laughter] to here gotta make it weird it was already weird and everything and the next day i'm like ah you shot a smash wait to hear was judging me and kev this whole segment he's like well i'd go and [ __ ] my homeboys and then i just so to hear hold on they would have been trying to smash a woman though that what's a weird thing like how you trying to have sex with a woman like okay that's that was happening yeah it would have been weird the next day it would have been weird it's a beard from your point of view who looked at your hobie and then turned around and took it i didn't say for wanting to explore the beautiful woman's body that is now ours and then you over here talking about smashing the homies also i would like to send a nude that that we both know is good like i said mine but i know she's just like she's like oh you know hey you're a good father the best i want to sit now for once in my life i want to send off a fire nude that if it leaked i'd be like you know what it is it didn't matter to me the body is the body or fig like uh i always wanted to know how it feels to like have somebody just pay for something out of nowhere and do that whole thing where you pretend like oh really you pay like i always want you you already know that don't quantum do that for you hold on wait i said that in the beginning and y'all went straight to you know what i hate all y'all bro josh give me your answer come on josh jump back in there let me see what the couch is talking like all these conversations why y'all get yeast infections with y'all new coochies okay yeah right now yeah shadow is that mine i don't know what i don't know there's a lot of stuff going on there's a discharge i ain't got no draw i gotta let it air out something is amiss apparently not supposed to put french rolls in there i don't know this was quite a weekend we had we are both exhausted [Laughter] i gotta put it out the window for a little bit [Laughter] meg what's your answer i'm definitely going to be a man for a day all right well there it is looks like trading off the different gender uh is the winner uh i want to thank joshie guns for pulling up the squad cast and kicking it with the homies man shout out to meg's school patrick cloud kevin on stage man we will see you guys next week on another episode of squad cast versus peace guys later

Channel: All Def

Views: 203,734

Rating: 4.9395137 out of 5

Keywords: All Def, All def, alldef, all def digital, add

Id: KdSus0lr9lI

Length: 73min 9sec (4389 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 08 2021