Vocation & First Years of Marriage

I'm a control freak like I am a recovering control freak um type A perfectionistic people pleaser you know all those things and when you are like that when you're wired like that vocation is really hard because you're like I'm gonna screw this up or I can't screw this up or and you just get you can just freak yourself out and so really I I can't say it enough but like it was when I really turned to the like to my relationship with God and it just started seeing him as number one that priority my even obsession with finding the right man or my vocation just kind of like mellowed out and lo and behold this guy who it just it just was a really great friend who I admired um I remember one thing I I always feel like how'd you know he was the one I was like I remember this one night where he was just talking I mean again we used to we had a really great core group of friends and we would all take classes together and so it was really neat to be able to we were talking and I remember he I just I left that conversation I was like man the dude is not afraid to die like I just like I was so captivated by his Zeal for like life and faith and like he wanted to be martyr and I just again coming from my background I was like this is so like radical and awesome and it was so attractive because he was so selfless and that was one thing that I think has always brought us together is just we we love the Lord and we love bringing people to the Lord and then all of a sudden you're married and you have kids and that's now that's the goal you know and that's what you're working on and it's just really it's really fun that chemistry again we just we have a lot of fun together well I saw the same thing in you and I think the thing that neither one of us were trying to make this happen neither one of us we're trying to find a spouse or trying to I mean and it's it's sort of like authentic happiness like you don't go around looking for it it happens as the byproduct of pursuing the good and that's kind of how absolutely and and not perfect not perfect just good well striving because you guys are like eight years ahead of us and um we look we've looked to you like you've given us great advice from what we've had little ones because one of the things you said was okay because we had to Bobby and I had two kids who are a year and a half apart they're 18 months apart you guys had two kids 14 months 14 months apart and you lived in a dorm room I mean so tell people like your first couple years of marriage when you when you share that Journey like because people could see you guys now you've been married for how long now 17 years okay so 17 years um people could look at you know like oh my gosh you're so amazing they're so perfect they have like this amazing marriage and you're you're like and they are and they are I don't know but you're like the first couple years of marriage especially when you're so young like there's a statistic that says if you get married before the age of 25 you are 80 likely to get divorced because most people are not they're they're so much maturing that has to happen your brain's not even fully developed and and when you're young like you guys just you were growing together you know so I want you to share what those first couple years were like and the fact that like why the heck were you living in a dorm room yeah well so glad we have four hours to talk about our First photographers of marriage I'm so so glad in some ways the dorm was a reprieve from Chicago yeah yeah so we got married um and then we moved immediately up to Chicago where Andy was doing his Doctorate so we were we were young and in love and I was pregnant I threw up the last day of our honeymoon in Mexico and I thought it was the food it was not the food um I was already pregnant and so we always say that that was um that was really great because we were open and so it was a really beautiful it was it was a beautiful blessing but it was also kind of like buckle up buttercup you know it was just like game on you know so we went through grad school Andy was getting his Doctorate um we had our first baby up there we lost a friend in a tragic car accident my brother was in a tragic car accident almost died we had the baby Thomas our firstborn love that kid and then I was kind of struggling a lot with I thought maybe it was depression or something but I had postpartum depression which was really hard and then lo and behold five months later um we found out we were pregnant again with Fulton and so and I was like wow that could happen that could happen um so it was just like okay Lord So within a year it was just our whole lives were just so different from coming from college where you kind of think you have an idea of your life to like what is this and um talk about people always say to us they're like oh we love your marriage we love your kids we like we want to be like oh you should you should have been around for the first five years like you would have been like you can have your marriage take your marriage and take your children we will be fine yeah yeah exactly um and so it was just it was hard I mean grad school was really hard Andy everybody um tells you it's hard and it is really hard getting a doctorate and doing two masters and being young and having a young family and we had zero money we absolutely were we ate a lot of oatmeal and eggs and sometimes Olive Garden where we would split the tour of Italy and here we asked for extra breakfast I drink lots of lemon in my water and yeah I mean we were really really this was like once every couple months yeah I mean we're really poor but it I I always say this I'm like but we did it together like we struggled together and we established our family and our marriage on those sacrifices and I always tell people I'm like if you want to really discern well watch how you sacrifice together watch how you suffer together um because you're going to suffer together you're going to suffer together there is not a marriage that I know that isn't called to sacrifice and suffering together and so those first couple years I think when people ask like oh what makes Jamir so rich and also and I always tell people I'm like because we stuck it out I mean we we would look at each other and be like this is so hard this is not what I thought I was gonna be like this is not all the things if you're a young couple out there right now if you're engaged if you're married if you have little kids like and you're like what the heck did I get myself into like we felt that for sure I mean we would look at each other and be like did we discern right do we pray well were we supposed to go to grad school were we supposed to have kids were we supposed to get I mean like there's just all these questionings and all these things you question and it was so it was so beautiful to like look at each other and be like no like I know I'm supposed to like I know we're supposed to be here um and we're gonna fight for our marriage we're gonna fight for each other we'd have those struggles and we we had like literally this conversation was like okay I know you're not going anywhere I'm not going anywhere so let's fix this problem yeah let's fix it which is like such an anchor to like have those struggles with

Channel: Jackie and Bobby

Views: 1,616

Keywords: Ascension Present, jackie francois, bobby angel, jesus, father mike schmitz, jackie and bobby, addiction, pornography, catholic, podcast, video, discipleship, Navigate, love, relationships, family life, Word on Fire, Matt Fradd, Pints with Aquinas, EWTN

Id: -BYgl4X0dog

Length: 6min 12sec (372 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 13 2022