[Vinesauce] Joel - O.V.N.I Abduction

happy easter all the jazz you know what well i hope you all are having a having a a good day i have not eaten any any sweets today because uh quite frankly i'm sick of it i'm quite frankly sick of it and uh well uh if it is something that i that i eat it's usually those terrible pacifiers like a little baby yeah but uh yeah i'm not uh not into too much of the chocolate or anything like that but if you opt in to do that instead then you know is that just a diabetes talking shoulde well you know it is what it is but anyway we're not actually gonna do the easter stuff just yet because uh last week we did a alien abduction game and that's quite the game it's quite the game and it was everything i hated in in a horror game because i uh i love atmosphere my horror games i hate when it turns into ch kill and that is exactly what this game is so without further ado we're gonna check out this this game i haven't forgotten what it was called but i was super excited to see it actually being released on steam but uh oh boy oh boy and i also have a lineup of uh things things and that is a bunch of easter crap oh boy you're gonna see what it is you're gonna see what it is and it ain't no good in fact uh i have something here for the easter easter sale and it has nothing to do with easter but i'm going to talk to what it is actually i'm going to keep it a secret because i think this game is we talked about this game like two weeks ago or something like that well do you want to know what it is do you want to know what this crap is yes do you guys know of a game called two worlds well guess what i got it on easter sale i'm not sure if this game is uh religious but i'm sure it has something to do with jesus uh is two worlds the same thing as that like space mass effect viking game that came out in the for the 360 or something like that yes yes yes it is oh that's too human too many too many names joel keeps mixing up those two games so many times well yeah i i don't know you can be two worlds in two minutes what two worlds was the oblivion killer it wasn't gothic three the same when it came into 2006. two worlds and two games two worlds was advertised to be better than oblivion ah kind of like haze haze was seen as the the halo killer back in the day and a lot of people remember that but hayes was the uh [Laughter] case was going to be like kill zone originally it was also that and uh what was the other game resistance also had that air of hehehe get out of here halo there's a new big boy in town you know but uh yeah anyway i'm installing this game currently and i don't know why because we're playing something completely different joe why did you talk swedish livestream because it was the first of april man it's it's the funny joke uh two worlds is amazing euro jank if you like gothic or risen you'll probably like it uh it's medieval fantasy it sucks okay well let me be a contrarian to say this if you guys say it sucks it's probably really good if you guys say something is really good it's probably really bad right two worlds of shitty voice acting i think it'll be great okay if it's on par with my voice acting we're you know kind of in that area all right anyway uh i'm gonna let two worlds install here and i'm gonna be playing the the abduction of ovni abduction it's called and uh you've seen this before on the spooky uh crap pack that we did which was the ronald mcdonald game amongst others but uh here you go here is the the alan abduction game that refuses to run oh no no no no it's it's it's happening okay there we go uh espanol mexico uh that's my country uh uh [ __ ] i'm trying to do a joke here feliz navidad everybody feliz navidad [Music] in spanish again uh help help i forgot video juegos bueno video juegos feliz navidad and most of all happy jesus christ yes jesus christ died today and he is risen from his uh muerte and today you will uh how do you say celebrate in spanish i'm still trying to play this game uh what what's the word for celebrate celebrate you dil celebr because he is happy okay warren this game contains flashing lights and loud noises player discretion is advised warning this stream contains flashing lights and idiotic commentary all right oh my god so this is not the first time we play this game uh as i said this game is something that i encountered uh randomly because i i opted to play some some like crap last sun not sunday but saturday and one of those games was uh a ronald mcdonald slenderman game a spongebob game and i just so happened to come across this alien abduction game and it started off pretty good it starts off like a pt parody or like a tribute and then the game gives you a shotgun and the object and there's some giant text on screen saying kill them all this is the full game that was the demo i can't [ __ ] wait for this crap on an island in the gulf of mexico a secret space project was carried out however was canceled for unknown reasons and the staff left the island two years later five engineers returned to the island to do research one night one of them wakes up hearing strange noises and realizes his components have disappeared well this is based on a true event well not now now i'm just like all those hollywood movies that say they're based on true events all those like spooky haunted house movies and eventually it all turns into like a demon across like a spider on on the ceiling any moment now any moment now please oh there we go okay well we are back ladies and gentlemen now the problem is i know most of the scares i don't know what they changed but here we go again everybody here we go again if you're not there for it you're probably going to get a little spooked but don't worry i'll i'll point out all the jump scares soon because uh that way you'll have a better time watching the stream without [ __ ] yourself but as you can see it's a little ptsk you can say that okay did i tr did i go too far oh no no no no no we're we're good we're gravy yeah okay well anyway uh as you can see this this slow this starts off slow horror-esque and all that jazz right until it doesn't anymore uh seagull door well it is springtime in sweden and when that happens that's when all the [ __ ] birds come out and eventually you're here you know goose attacks this again yeah but this is the full game this time i think it's going to be like a window crashing yeah yeah well guess what don't prepare this time all right perfect timing well i kind of knew already because we played the demo but all right okay i can't go this way then and again i i like i like the start of the game it's it's not bad it is kind of haunted because you're like oh man what's going on and then eventually the game drops all of that and it turns into uh well first of all this is my first problem with this you're like whoa that's scary but you go over there and it's like a la mao and i like don't do this don't do the giant like vacuum cleaner roomba like keep it subtle please don't don't show that you know all right well well well and as you can see it's your usual go around the the house thing until as i said don't do this reminds me of a christmas vacation when clark griswold takes a chainsaw and saws off this little like at the stairs okay yeah i'm holding down shift but it doesn't do anything i just have this like urge to like okay just speed up now please didn't you scream and feared signal simulator oh yes i did but this is quite different than signal simulator because so far kind of spooky isn't it i guess it's got this atmosphere to it and i like it until i don't okay yeah hmm well can i speak serbian or am i scared uh well one of our mods pat you know you just speak serbian go go swear at him man go swear at him yeah there we go there we go now i have a now we have a serbian fight in chat i love when i don't have to do enough and i can just like incite people for violence and be like yo i swear i'm in the serbians see what happens oh are you ready by the way okay i know what's going to happen and i'm going to give you a heads up as soon as i step into the the funny room here there's going to be like a funny alamo and there's going to be a noise louder than the sun to spook you so i'm serious so just turn your volume down for this i'm giving you a heads up okay ready so you go here and you know check this out and you go over here and then eventually something happens unless they changed it oh oh i'm ready ready it's coming it's coming it's coming i told you i told you i told you i told you he looks friendly like usually the the gray aliens they don't have this like funniness about him but you know he looks like he's smiling like almost just like knock knock you okay so now that we've seen this we actually how do i ex okay there we go now he shoots this funny little like uh laser laser pointer for cats and a sound effect from the 1940s place and then he kind of gives up all right now that we're done with that now we're gonna go back and now he's gone so it's pretty much the same thing we played but hey part six got announced oh the jojo yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well what do i think about this part six i think it's a great part and it's it's neat to see it finally animated uh i just don't like the ending i thought the ending was ridiculous the fact is that d returns again at the very very end of the the series and he shows up and he's like he's got a robot [ __ ] body i mean it's completely ridiculous i don't know what a rock you thought but but clearly putting a bunch of robots it's as ridiculous as putting it aliens having an rgb light you know what i mean but uh but yeah i i think part six is not the greatest part but it does have uh a lot of good moments though that i do like you know um dio has a dog in the uh in the new new part for people that haven't read the manga and he's he's got a dog called pucci uh pucciandio has a laboratory and they've been trying to figure out exactly what is a stand-in and everybody speaks serbian for some reason well this is a little newer i think now it just feels like i'm drunk here i don't know i remember this part there's some lady that that speaks in spanish and i i don't understand okay okay how do you say speak louder in spanish [Music] okay well that was that joel it's serbian oh that's serbian aliens okay well there we go all right now now now i we go back or i don't know okay well laughs scary not wmv well at least at least the game at this point still doesn't completely give up on the scary factor i mean it's trying something and i expected the full game to be a little different but not quite so much but uh yeah but anyway part six uh you know i'm looking forward to it um i definitely think that part seven is a little bit better uh it just sucks that it all took part in serbia in like the 12th century but okay i can't see if i open up the die okay well i guess not okay roll out the spooky stuff come on we're not god all day you know joe what am i talking about oh it's just some like [ __ ] too like these guys right here see this is scary i like this this is scary because you're like oh who are these you know spoon dudes you know like oh that's that's kind of oh but then you'll see i think a lot of people haven't seen the stream that i did of that particular game or this game in particular i love surprise parties i really do who here hasn't seen it because i feel like i'm destroy describing things for everybody that has seen this but you know me me me me well that's a lot of people and uh well you're gonna you're gonna see see all this crap i suppose it this version looks a little darker than last time it does it does it does make it in vr and you have 50 50 more positive reviews see my dream game is like a vr game that's just this but like less stupid you know but we can't we can't uh have it all and there's the guy standing there and it's like yeah and you gotta you gotta avoid the lace or you get hit by the laser so you get hit by the crotch laser and now you know you black out you take a nap and subtitle sneak to okay and this is where the game shits itself because now you can just run outside the house and you're no longer restricted to uh pt style and michael bay shows up and farts on you from his giant roomba and now that the alien has descended you run like [ __ ] because they are going to shoot lasers at ya as you can see and you're probably saying you know isn't this exactly the the anthesis of horror and by the way i'm saying that word right it's anthesis a lot of people pointed out yo it's not it's antithesis no it's anthesis okay no but anyway my point being uh this is the antithesis of horror for me because now it's goofy but don't worry it gets worse anti-thesis anti-tits antithesis no i am listen listen google can't be wrong google can't be wrong i have meticulously researched this by listening to 5000 how to pronounce these because i need to back myself up against you guys because at some point you guys would be like joel you're you're bullshitting you're being dumb they're being uneducated be ignorant and i took the time out of my day to find out am i saying this word right i am and i will i will swear by that and you guys are just being mean and you are being funny with me but anyway besides all that okay are you ready for this to uh get a little uh funny lucian our boss has been acting strange he was found wandering the island at dawn repeating the word baum he was confused and had headaches due to the red lights in the sky i had more headaches from the jump scares but all right but wait a minute i have my controller plugged in and i don't i don't know how to go to the next page or whatever the main goal of the project was to carry out to care is to contact civilizations on other planets however i have discovered that there is an alternate product that few people know with comma which consists of creating virtual simulations that could hardly be distinguished from reality to achieve this to achieve this is necessary components for more computers and combine it with technology that i think is not human another secret product that had been that wasn't this i think a great alien wrote this because it's [ __ ] with my brain another secret product that was being worked on it was a barrier that can only protect people even from gunfire however this project failed because the bear could only withstand three or four shots from a shotgun all right i don't know how to like go to the next page but whatever okay i think that's it we just get this and at some point this game you start giving me a shotgun no shotgun yet no shotgun yet everybody in the demo i just got a big old like pump action 12 gauge that said kill oh we got the siren head too okay all right well we're gonna have to gonna like this i have to get out of here objective [ __ ] i feel for the guy who made siren head because he didn't want to turn his like creative monster into like [Music] a slender product and that's exactly what it became at and he explicitly said please don't do this and well you go on wish.com put in slender no no not slender but siren head and it turns out oh here we go this is where the demo ended this is where the demo ended by the way this is completely new at this point so that's me okay and here i go you know i am a bit of a nutcase and i believe in some sort of agnostic belief about alien existence right but i also find it highly improbable that like aliens that are light years ahead of us in terms of technology and culture were not dressed in clothes and their entire like point of existence is to mess with us and jerk us around you know what i mean like at some point they have to be like okay what the [ __ ] and my my thesis is that all the all the uh all the aliens that abduct people on earth and you know hover in the sky they're just like redneck aliens that just do to [ __ ] with people like they're not the good aliens like the aristocratic aliens that live on like planet [Music] they just like they smoke pipes and they read books but these guys are like you know they drive the space chevys we got a human down there let's go [ __ ] with him yeah let's stand outside his window and make him [ __ ] himself in the bathroom okay yeah i don't know i just it just feels off anyway at this point everything is new i still don't have the shock on those which is okay i always pull all these down all right oh no do we have a pussley oh no oh god no oh lord no oh uh okay uh is it music notes all right well it's through elimination how about how about one three four two oh okay oh [ __ ] i'm glad i'm all timed on this how about three four two one three four two one damn it how about three three two four one okay duke nukem puzzle everybody uh there are 24 possibilities you can brute force this that was the same thing i did how about four three one two we didn't do this one already okay how about this one oh [ __ ] okay yeah 69 69 but guys i didn't pay attention because i have the attention span of like uh a small child what exactly was was the journal saying was it not something about you know shotgun blasts or something it was a shiny wood do i have a do i have a uh no i don't have a journal thing deciphered through serbian hmm three two four one three two four one no okay look around the building all right that's that's a good idea maybe something on the floor oh oh well why don't you just say so the correct order activated oh well if you're just going to give me the solution then i mean i appreciate that but like don't make me uh wow that's that's that's that's good that's really good thanks reconias are looking for an old poem processor to try to get it by kidnapping lucian but it know where it was strange things were happening on the island the cable communication that connects to the bay is the only thing that works red lights have been seen at night and i think they suspect me serbia this is the last email i will send to you i know this email is encrypted but i'm not sure if that's enough however there's no other ways to know where the other drugs were going okay let's let's double check this so it's it's g c e a okay so that's uh what would that be four two three one four two three one four two three one oh it's fantastic okay well we managed to do what okay you know i gotta say guys i gotta i gotta be real real with you guys i there's nothing more i like more in life than to play a shite game with you guys and trying to decipher the madness as i'm playing it like good games sometimes are boring because i'm just like we're all having a good time and no one is suffering but the moment you take a little bit of suffering into the kool-aid mix then it becomes fun you know all right let's see here i should go back to the community building maybe sofia said can i drive the atv please i cannot alright well if this game didn't have any aliens and it was all in your mind maybe that could like work i guess maybe maybe i am the alien now maybe i'm the the funny martian you know and these dudes just look very ugly all right i wonder how much of this music is stock like royalty-free horror music not mp3 well i know that sound effect that's brap dog mp3 okay well what happened before wasn't i abducted all right well here i go slowly okay i think it switches perspective maybe i was the other person or whatever all right well this is going to take a while and there's no way of skipping it so and get yourself comfortable i guess somebody's chat says sport 2 is kind of lit not gonna lie i don't care what people say i thought sport was a great game no matter how badly compromised it was i remember when sport came out there's three things i associate with spore it's death magnetic coming up with metallica or by metallica me eating a lot of corn flakes and uh well listen to death magnetic playing spore and in cornflakes oh okay this is new i can see the jpeg compression of this video please don't be like outlast where they like snip your dick off or whatever i'm not in the mood to sit there and edit the string out and add a bunch of like friends on the penis see it's it's inverted collars that's there they are what if you okay here's a hypothetical situation you're abducted by aliens and but you are like totally into it you stare me out like you wear them the [ __ ] out they put you on a table and you immediately just go up and start kissing them they're like oh what and you're like hello boys my name is billy this is uh the man with the plan and this is steven together we need you to save the world okay i wish i had one of them you just had like a mustache or something well now i [Music] don't take off the bra if you take off the bra i swear to god i swear to god hand on the button hand on the button i swear to god this ain't no cyberpunk pov tit shots please okay i'm fine i fully expect this game to like switch genres again it went from like pt into like shoot game and then i expected it to be like hot coffee san andreas press x to like come what happened here i can access the tower with the key okay well all right let's let's keep on trucking here am i being too cynical in this game guys am i being too negative i'm not being too pessimistic no well uh i i guess i'm just like subconsciously a little like pissed off because this game could have been exactly what i wanted a pt game with aliens i mean that's kind of like my nightmare but that's kind of what i'm attracted to in a way not this is it coming towards me oh yes it is they're deploying you know this [ __ ] reminds me of earth defense force objective kill it's gonna happen okay they come [Laughter] goodbye okay here comes my favorite part about this is that they can't really do nothing look at this ready step for this oh well okay maybe i shouldn't be talking [ __ ] i thought i could just like sidestep and that was it but no there's a little bit more to it i thought about like maybe it's like an oblivion where all the institute fireballs at you and if you just like go right the fireball hones they know you but if you like do this they don't know what their aim at okay okay well we got a sprint sidestep silly oh well you know you know what they should do you know what they should do they should make a no that's a terrible idea that's a horrendous idea and okay just hear me out i don't know why this came to my head but how about this you are the alien on a planet and the invader is like humans and you have to fight the humans like they're just regular but you're just like a farmer alien it's like reverse destroy all humans like the doomslayers have to get you you know i mean i don't know how you could do that because like well i i guess are the human serbian yeah sure it's it's a game where uh a bunch of space serbians go into their serbian space rocket which is just like a giant bean can with a serbian flag and just shoots off into space to like planet x and they just start to like destroy the planet with with their serbian rocket fuel and you have to you have to reclaim the planet from these evil serbians it's like somebody said it's dragon ball z in reverse i don't i quite understand that for sure yeah see this is a little spooky because now now they're chasing me and i have to like get inside before it's too late or they just go away okay later oh no oh remember in in independence day or well when will smith clocks a alien in the jaw welcome to earth that's what i call a close encounter okay well play do music like in bug snacks no i i don't need to add insult to injury with this okay yeah okay well uh so somebody said skyrim 10-year anniversary in chat i was going to like but then i realized yeah it has been 10 [ __ ] years oh yeah okay what what what are we doing here so i can't pay attention i have like problems clothes maybe the key is in the warehouse mark was there yesterday find the key door to the warehouse okay well thank for point i love the i love the um i love a video game where it was like listen i know you're like totally lost go here you dumb [ __ ] icon it was speaking of bethesda what is bethesda up there are they releasing a new game or something what's that like uh no it's just star star star star field star forge star craft three fallout 69 skyrim minecraft karaoke garfield [ __ ] i don't know i don't keep up with this [ __ ] too all right now i i just want to blast an alien one alien is all i need okay okay here it comes here comes okay and wow this is okay so they have shields now there is did he just nutsack me what was that term that they did in halo teabag i fully expect them to go like full xbox live and be like get on noob just teed back me man well i watched sonic the hedgehog 2 movie next year uh sure i actually did enjoy watching sonic to headshot movie it it it it just it was okay but that's all it needed to be you know but i i did never tell you guys that i was going to see with bacon and when we first got there we realized that something is very wrong it turns out we saw the movie in like swedishly dubbed and there's something about hearing characters in your own language that makes it so [ __ ] corny and i i we had to go out of there like we had we have to see this movie again we didn't see the whole movie but like you know if i can shoot him oh i can't shoot it from from okay well here we go again never go again okay so so one shot two shots three shot four shot five shots okay they just disappear okay well you blast aliens man hey get the [ __ ] out of here yeah yeah okay they lie down the teleport out of here okay you get out of here with your little hand kill ass all right well there you go is this combat better than morrowind how dare you shut up all right well the valve is missing we should go back and look for it look for him in the building oh find the valve okay what right valve is here place serbian music in the murder spree well who am i again am i the serbian or the alien the serbian i i why are we talking about serbia how do we get to this topic i generally do have no idea why we're bringing up like serbia serbian aliens aliens are serbians okay well serbia moment okay well mostly he's like literally just escaped dance downspies out running them but all right well i'm sure the game will throw me a couple jump scares but but what a fake out at this game i really thought this game would be you know a pt thing and it just turns completely into something else i mean it is what it is but i mean come on you know joel do i subscribe to the conspiracy that tupac is alive in serbia you ever just like think about the [ __ ] you write in chat you know he's like you right on a sentence and you're like should i really press enter on this or should i just like hold backspace for two seconds no no well then again when it comes to me a lot of stream of consciousness diarrhea manifests itself through my mouth when i'm streaming video games so who am i to [ __ ] talk okay i notice every time the aliens show up it plays like battle.mp3 hang on yep here comes oh well i i have a i have a radical idea well i can't i can't really change that but i sure can't do this all right add a little bit of this a little bit of that and then we go this hmm oh why is the mouse now like in the screen oh well did you like that volume also meant the music but not the actual sound it really feels like oblivion man all you gotta do is just add the little ui of the health and the the magicka in your stamina die fetcher is that all you've got do it do it yeah but then the stream turns into a joke oh wait a minute oblivion ui see it's not the aliens i'm afraid i'm afraid of some [ __ ] mountain lion coming up and taking a [ __ ] in my mouth but hang on okay this is gonna look like garbage because i can't find a clean png of the ui so you have to like steal somebody's desktop for some reason wait this is terrible okay i'm gonna have to steal somebody's what the hell okay i'm sorry whoever you are that upload this picture it's just some some dude okay so hang on i'll do that and i'll have to like scale it down to i mean that doesn't what the [ __ ] ever all right good enough oh they're getting me better on i like i like how the compass doesn't move but it's right there look right like what's gonna happen if they like do they chase me inside here yeah what are you gonna do oh no i was just kidding man yeah what oh [ __ ] uh i'm trying to find this i'm not i'm not quick enough to play this sound but i was going to do this okay i can't find the oblivion death noise but can't wait for the oblivion death noise i'm lazy okay well [ __ ] it's still around so failed bit well hey hey joel glad to see you finally got him back to xcom after all these years see you say those things and it hurts okay you know the joke should actually you know you know you know you i have a better idea don't do anything you sit around sit around i have i have the joke i have the joke ready you know what the joke is it's like ordering a big mac you know exactly what the [ __ ] you're getting it's not very good but you know what you're getting [ __ ] off big macs are great big macs taste like balloons if you like big macs it's out of that when your mother was pregnant he was exclusively feeding you big mac sauce and you developed like a subconscious addiction to it or uh your taste buds are so stupid because the cheeseburgers like mcdonald's is much better anyway let's recycle this joke because uh i have no creativity cut the bit and now it doesn't play oh i know the aliens are going to get me oh watch out oh no sometimes a joke lance that barely did but mixed mixed reception on that joke didn't quite plan that well but hey who even are you serbia yeah i'm serbia i'm serbia johnson i've come here to avenge uh what the [ __ ] did eat the serbia pet what are they pat's been there food oh yeah the only thing i know about serbia is that everybody smokes like they breathe oxygen it's one of those like european places that's just like yeah we just we eat cigarettes here all right here we go once again okay i'm gonna quickly do this i'm gonna just do this while it's happening work please can i just like not shut she can i shut the door oh [ __ ] i guess i have to defend myself now can i not shoot their windows with that awk for [ __ ] sake god damn it anthro says they use cigarettes as pacifier for their babies keep mine that's a quote from him so if you want to like crucify him on easter then you know i'll give you the spikes you'll hand you'll you'll get the i'll give you the nails you know you have you have the hammer so i i'm not okay you'll equip your armor already you know just for a half a second there i'm just like oh [ __ ] yeah and i pressed tab like like oh yeah i should probably do that because i'm because you know i've been streaming for so long that i'm just like oh i get some advice on what the [ __ ] to do i'm like oh yeah [ __ ] uh for [ __ ] sake okay i think it's best if we deal with the aliens first and then we uh then we uh you know turn the vowel or whatever [Music] okay here comes oh for [ __ ] sake come on man okay that is the last time that happens now that i'm like underestimating my enemies god damn it man hawk or friday already these oblivion gates are ass [Laughter] does the shotgun work yeah oh it's got an iron sight in case you want to what no what's the point of this there's no iron sight there's still a dawn on the screen so what the [ __ ] is this why because it looks nice because every game has to have iron sight yeah but there's no like sight it's only why it's more accurate i don't know man okay it's there to confuse you yeah it's the aliens funny race going into my head right all right all right here we go here we go once again let's use this maybe i'll aim better that's a siding rib it's legit from any shotguns oh i don't doubt that i'm saying what's the purpose of this because i mean you the dot is the site anyway so all right let's reload okay yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm out of here he left the caller all right well uh now that we're done with that let's go put this valve in and then hopefully we can figure out what this game is all about i really hope this game ends with a big boss battle where like i i theorized this before or theorized i hypothesized to sound smart a little bit of cerebral commentary uh for such a smart streamer uh i want another demo i want at the end of this game this game to completely shift style once again i want you to hijack their alien ship go down to their planet like prometheus style or that was alien covenant and you bring the shotgun with you and as edgy as [ __ ] crap as that game is it turns into alien hatred you basically just like drive into like hospitals and you like you go into the nuclear power plant and like and you blow up the [ __ ] planet my name's not important but i'll avenge serbia my planet is not important but what i'm about to do i'm gonna [ __ ] myself and every single [ __ ] around okay joel the audience is leaving are they going back in their spaceship okay good wait wait a minute how do i get in there about by the outside okay well hang on let's oh no i gotta like jump out hang on break brain yeah go here yeah oh boy we think we know why our cell phones don't work when the buildings were built on the island magnetic field generators were placed under them those generators were to prevent insects in buildings but nobody believed that what did they want to prevent from entering the buildings okay i have a i have a question i had i had this discussion with my dad and i realized quickly that i had no [ __ ] idea what i was talking about but i still want to sound like i you know i'm in the right my dad was talking about you know we're gonna do you have 5g on your phone joel oh my god i don't know and he's like well they're going to build 6g soon they're only talking about 60 and he said do you realize how fast the internet will be and i said well we already kind of have 60 with wired connections because then i'm like what am i talking about that's data networking has nothing to do with it and i realized like i was talking in [ __ ] and i realized like no matter what i say here i'm wrong but if i exude some confidence they're like no don't worry man we have wires now that connect to the phone and at some point i was like i stopped talking mid-sentence and it was like so how's the weather i mean he didn't doubt me or a question because he's like yeah you you know technology right i'm like yeah no [ __ ] idea what i was talking about so you know we think before we don't cell phones yeah yeah okay okay well how how did how did i get out there before it was like i jumped through the sea the window right can i can i crouch oh yes i can yes i can wait wait guys help me out what the [ __ ] was it you go in here but that's blocked off so how do we how do you get in there oh wait a minute oh right shotgun is that shocking shells i don't know yes it is because if you jump up here i got a half-life crouch jump okay this is the hardest part of the game so far figuring out how to jump over okay so this is all wired up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so obviously i need to like jump what the maybe there's a window see this would be stressful if the aliens were actually coming for me but they're taking their sweet test time with it which i really appreciate okay suggestions i'm open to suggestions here the door you idiot oh you mean this door yeah but this doesn't open that was aliens [ __ ] with the game and i had nothing to do with that okay so okay all right and that's it i'm guessing now the alien swoop down the antenna aliens we have to destroy the aliens all right well in a moment now they're gonna zoop down that's the moon yeah but that's where they come from you know if i do this it'll hit them eventually you know you just travel it'll travel over time and eventually something like that is like wow today sure is a good day and then isn't that what happens in real life on new year's eve like all the all the people go out on new year's eve with their like you know m16s and go into the sky and some old grandma gets like capped in the head because the bullets like fall down eventually like i'm serious doesn't that actually happen okay no joe that doesn't happen ah oh it's him yeah yeah deep cut all right is that only getting like breath of the wild feelings when seeing like star enemies that are just like a color or something like that like it just feels like any moment now it's actually scarier without the music oh that actually kind of got me a little bit it's okay i guess it really is like a boss battle huh oh goodbye all right man about the key he'll be back he'll be back okay we should put the music back on because you know hey what the [ __ ] are these hands well these are really dry man he's coming back he's coming back man i hear him oh [ __ ] detected he's found me and so has my mouse please where is he where is he see this is this is kind of scary because you're like where the [ __ ] is going to show up at well he's coming he's over there i think oh jesus but let's also take the piss out of this i don't know if this joke is going to be funny at all but [ __ ] it right i mean what else can i i can judo a bunch of times i hope i get stuck on a tree you know it's like the movie signs you know it's like oh water that's our you know weakness oh no a tree i got stuck somebody get like a stick get get me out of here okay well uh this is the 400 enemies from halo 4. dude i bought some pringles the other day and it has it still has halo infinite advertising on it it's like buffalo chicken wing pringles and it's like you know get your xp points on halo infinite and it's like what the [ __ ] man and the monster energy can right here in fact has halo infinite [ __ ] on it so uh they this is the most like [ __ ] up advertising camera and i've ever seen this game ain't coming out and they're blowing like you know billions of dollars on this but like what the [ __ ] and somebody said no joel it's all a plan because you should be stacking your your trash in a basement and when the day handler comes out in 2069 that's when you get all your trash out and you're like xp codes xp codes xp codes and you'll sell them on ebay like what electrical panels oh no oh no oh no okay well let's just let's analyze the situation here see hopefully spell it out again like hey dumb [ __ ] it maybe should go outside on that they were on the bottom of the can you didn't even have to buy them okay but yeah but what kind of maniac goes into a grocery store just takes all the moisture you can so like click click click okay years ago there was an exchange between humans and the draconians the humans gave them relics from different cultures and they returned gay people they had kidnapped one of them was a girl who did not remember her name but it has to be identified as sophia because she always liked that name okay i think that name is pretty i am that okay all right well we have to get out of here and and see so we have to get there but i have no idea actually get there goddamn shitty house oh there we go okay hey johanna remember to turn the electrical power on tower three you need to set the panels and press the big red button the correct combination for panel one is sixty hundred twenty hundred and twenty well i'm a signal simulator pro man i i got this there's a problem i can't remember which one the combination corresponds to the remaining panels combination one and combination two charging both combination panels to see which one works ah for [ __ ] sake okay 60 120 120 and then 160 40 100. 80 40 60. don't try to confuse me i'm writing this down chad you can't you can't you can't no what the [ __ ] my shotgun blast off screen scared me is that an alien okay now the game's getting scary for some reason mainly because i'm faced with a puzzle and [ __ ] up on stream and like not knowing how to do basic math or like anything like that you know oh hey buddy he's taking a nap he's tired all right well here we go so the first one was 60. uh wait a minute let's okay so 60 60 uh 120 it was hundreds and then of course it was 20. okay and then the big red button all right and now i'm gonna guess they reversed it so we start with 80 80 40 and then uh 60 and 100. yeah they just reversed it because they they thought i wouldn't like do it in the chronological pattern that's really smart of them they nearly got me with that one all right joel what i think of godzilla versus cog uh well you want me to be honest or do you want me to be funny with it be honest okay um i was watching this movie with my with my pants down to my ankles um i thought it was the most romantic move ever seen [Music] and okay there was some real sexual tension between those two you know no uh now what i honestly think about the movie uh i don't know if you can release a movie like that you know having having a cgi monkey made in like source filmmaker eat a banana for two [ __ ] hours uh it's unacceptable and i think it's wrong of hollywood to to take advantage the fact that you know uh movies nowadays have to have cgi in them but going so far to detrimentally [ __ ] with the odd okay i see it i didn't see it i have no interest in those godzilla movies uh i i love godzilla i have a bunch of uh showa era and heisei era behind me but in my opinion uh i'm gonna be real with you and i'll drop the the facetiousness as sarcasm i think there's something really [ __ ] up about because godzilla from 1954 japan is a physical manifestation of the the nuclear horror that japan experienced firsthand from america you skip ahead many many many years later and now he's just a big product from the americans you know what i mean it's like something's off with that like now he's a superhero i mean yes he was kind of a superhero in japan too but he comes from a very bad place in time and that's why i like shin godzilla because shin godzilla also represented you know the bureaucracy when a natural disaster happens he's not a superhero he's just a big old [ __ ] up thing you know so spitting those reddit facts but yeah i am a streamer the panel wires are missing i saw godzilla 2014 i i thought it was okay you know i didn't mind it i thought it was a little unfortunately they killed off brian cranston so early but but no i don't see godzilla uh king of the monsters and i i'm i'm sure it's a fine movie i just i just have to be very bored to see it because it's probably one of those movies that you see it you see it and it's super forgettable but once you do see it nothing else in the world matters if you get what i mean like it just like it's a popcorn movie you know okay i can't get in there huh i'm guessing i have to jump up yep you know what is one of the cutest things i hear people say they complain about there's not enough monster fights in these new movies it it they have never seen one of the original godzilla movies 99 of those movies is people talking in an office about the science of the creature and you're like ah yes and when there's four minutes left in the movie okay now it gets good but sometimes the human element of those movies are so is so good that you're willing to forget it for example godzilla vs mechagodzilla space apes space gorillas have disguised themselves among the population and they bleed green and it's like a james bond plot where space gorillas have invaded and you're like you know this is this is idiotic but i love it okay is the wiring is that oh well okay just what that doesn't but what what okay all right does it like a muscle flash too but whatever there we go time to go back to the communications building and send a rescue message oh you got it you turn up the gravity on those boards uh you know i'll never forgive my parents for something that's kind of [ __ ] up to listen to you when i saw godzilla 98 on tv for the first time my parents were telling me go take a shower you have school tomorrow and i said no i will miss this incredible movie i'm watching they're like no there'll be reruns of the movie on tv and i said do you promise yes joel now go take a shower you got to go to bed for 20 years i've had a grudge against my parents because i'm like you lied [Laughter] and for godzilla 98 nonetheless uh you didn't miss much i saw it at a friend's house on on beaches later but it was it was the idea behind it you know it's that betrayal but uh all right is that why you lied about the 60 [ __ ] it's all connected now man you know they lied about godzilla i lied about the 6g [Laughter] godzilla 2000 was a legit though have you ever seen the trailer to that it's kind of incredible because rob zombie is in it it has the most 2000 stink ever here yeah i'm the one to call it i'm the super beast and the tagline of the movie is this guy saying like if you can't stand the heat then run that's that's that's the tagline he's like meant to say get out of the kitchen but he goes run and they got rob zombie going yeah on the regular you know it's a terrible trailer and it's [ __ ] great i think these aliens are so mad because they don't have buttholes you know damn oh holy [ __ ] uh rocket launcher all right [Music] all right [ __ ] it this is the slowest rocket i've ever seen ever this is how you do horror guys i just want to let you know this is literally objective kill was this the rocket launcher arnold houston commando yeah this isn't it i liked it bye oh i did it take that space aliens you see with the power of chinese fireworks we have defeated you and your horrible technological ways now i'll attempt to rocket jump all right they never predicted once that bootleg fireworks would be the end of their days okay now what are we done is that the swedish flag it was a helicopter pad also have infinite oh okay uh-oh i call reinforcements watch out he's got a gun call every mothership in the milky way he's got a rocket launcher we need the strongest and most powerful ships we got okay he called his homiesu okay isn't this literally what metal slug 3 is by the way at some point it just becomes shoot the aliens rocket launcher yes the evil counselor aliens it seems they're after sophia really how do you know all right well rocket launcher can we have some guitar feedback now okay oh god they gave me they gave me hearing damage they're after the capital bulgaria well yeah because uh they just want to like wipe off europe you know if it's not serbia it's bulgaria i guess how do you pronounce tinnitus i keep struggling i know how to say it in swedish but i'm not brave enough to say it in english how to say tinnitus in in english tinnitus tinnitus tinitiz tinnitus tinnitus isn't tinnitus the thing you get in your arm if you play too much tennis tetanus what what am i saying tiny toons tennis elbow that's tendonitis you're thinking of chicken tenders carpal tunnel i'm sorry i think these ales are getting to my brain what dude i just realized these rockets have our lane iran i can't talk uh length to them if i fire too much away they just like die off it's kind of like the halo shock and the ball just disappear tell us what you get when you cut you cut yourself on something rusty well all the all these things we're describing tonight is happening as i'm fighting this giant roomba okay go away go away leave what's your problem titanic come on for [ __ ] sake leave [ __ ] off leave for [ __ ] sake go inside okay all right no i blew it up destroy the next ufo no ah for [ __ ] sake all right i'm coming now do it again objective destroy heavy machine gun oh oh big i'm always out i think i'm out running my rockets so what if if their goal is to take okay let me let me get real for a second a lot of times when the the big bad is fighting the protagonist usually just equip it like the most basic rifle or whatever and i know metal gear solid is full of like little funny hahahi moments but what is up with metal gear and how [ __ ] terrible it is if one person with a rocket launcher can take down like a nuclear armed robot what the [ __ ] is that going to do when it goes onto the in the battlefield with like 200 people you know it sucks it's like it can't kill one person it's bad it's terrible you know and the same thing here if these super aliens from like you know planet zorblon if they can't just deal with one person with a tiny rocket launcher like they're [ __ ] all right oh no he's circle strafing how do we deal with this okay only snake knew about the weak point hit it in the weak spot okay destroy the next ufo ah do it again well this game this game took a a nosedive in terms of quality and i love it okay quality tank no you know you know what i think i think this game is way better this way because it leaves a lasting impression in our mouths it might not be good but it sure makes you remember like you know 25 years in the in the future i'll be like huh that did was fight three giant ufos in this game that sucked it was really good that when i remembered it it's like remembering a tragedy yeah i slipped and fell once and uh my anus like exploded i slept in the bathtub and my anus fell off true story sorry to hear that well i appreciate it isn't that how jackie chan died yeah he oh [ __ ] yeah uh yeah i'm sorry i don't want to make jokes like that okay you know what i should have done i should have put this ass signal simulator but i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest with you guys i did something off stream because my curiosity i could not i couldn't stand anymore i did check out what uh that game was called raid area 51. i played 10 seconds of it and i just i couldn't believe what it was it's literally with a gun and it's like literally objective kill and i i refuse to play any of it like i refuse it it exists it's it's it's it's like this bad if not worse play it no i i just can't i just can't man all right well it's it sure is it sure is a game and uh it sure goes on forever it's the last ufo though ah come on all right come on how do you guys think this game will end oh goodbye goodbye hey we're back where we started everybody we're back where we start oh i actually we're not who says it ends you know i remember that russian game we played called like floor 52 or something like that and it was just like a weird russian nightmare game about aliens and i kept playing it just because like you know this will make sense in the end there's some something to this i played like five hours of it and i realized all right what's what's the punch line what's what's what what was this all about and they just credits ran with like you win you know i'm guessing that's what what it was before like game facts you know for for people pre-internet without magazines it's like i hate this i hate this like super nintendo game but i want to see if the ending is really good so i keep renting it and then you actually beat it it's just like you're a winner guys i've completely forgotten the oblivion [ __ ] ui is still on screen somebody pointing at that like i love the fact that you put the oblivion ui screen on and i i'm like what no leave it leave it okay oh that's not part of the game is is [Music] is i don't speak spanish but the worst that's to speak spanish is this voice acting any good i can't tell yes can you crash down please okay well i think we've hit the end of the game go to the dock here it's decent it's not great but it's decent it's like a big mech food analogy that's what you come for the streams for right there okay how do i send a tip for joel you want to give me money after that kool-aid joke you can give me one money one way buy buy better internet so you can watch better streamers that doesn't make any sense yeah yeah i stream bad stream so if you have bad connection [ __ ] i don't know no no don't don't give me any money wait for the charity streams no no no no don't actually do it i'm telling you like sincerely don't joel comes with default internet yeah i'm like i'm like internetexplorer.exe funnystream.exe okay 1g streamer trial streamer oh here we go here we go oh you know what this ocean reminds me of you remember the lonely gorilla oh oh okay okay there is actually water it's not just like walking down into the ocean floor and just like eat banana okay basic cable streamer okay there she hey are you nude okay no watch out they're gonna steal your wig i've been betrayed or something they call the cops or something i kid skrillex is abducting me yeah okay yeah you're gonna you're gonna hurry up it's like that homer simpson thing right from the first treehouse of horror they can't quite get him up so they have to like just do like i'm too chubby i can't come on [Music] if this is where the game ends i'm gonna i'm gonna be a little perturbed because i paid like 20 dollars for this or something like no [Music] joel well you what well you know some sometimes it do be like that all right well and credits and credits and credits and credits credits credits with song no no no there's more to this this more okay okay oh it goes back to the pt style look at this all right hey so we got doc doctor coomb the coomer is now in the uh the comb chamber and i believe the game has now gone from pt into like warfare game into as i said uh uh ufo porno okay uh i have to ask you know i do respect this aliens that they did dress the human beings though i would have been really offended if they said no pants for you so i i i respect the fact that they respect our clothing uh rules and stuff you know actually you know what they really respect they respect uh the the sovereign god of all which is the twitch twitch rules and steam rules which is of course the most devilish villain of all i i mean to say that which i mean based welcome to my spaceship these are my my sons bimbo the man with the plan uh jeezy uh billy bob and ef and of course pepe please talk please talk please talk human okay i'll do an alien voice here it's your yeah spin your in i can't read the subtitles you messed up our plans and now i cannot let you go you only have one option join us tell me would you like to see the immensity of the universe the beauty of other worlds would you like to meet god gods and anus go ahead enter that portal and enjoy the trip at this point you know what i want to do can i get to my room no choose [ __ ] america [Music] yep you take that [ __ ] alien you think you can met with a good old american bloke you know [ __ ] the baby too [Music] goddamn baby goddamn alien and [ __ ] you too wait he's got a little throne it's got a little throne can i can i go back okay i can't i like coming in about the little trumpet i can't do nothing [Laughter] what the [ __ ] is this can i use the shotgun instead i can shoot the portal oh okay okay goodbye what's god who is god oh the game just ends thank you for playing well you got it [Music] so how much was this game guys i i might have exaggerated about 20 dollars but can you please check what the actual amount is on steam for me i'm not going to refund this game because i had a lot of fun with it but please can you ninety dollars six i don't know okay we take this seriously how much was it how much was this game it's 14.99 14.99 14.99 okay 14.99 how many how many we talked about big macs before how many big machine buy for that but big mac is like two dollars so what five i mean i don't know two dollars what oh i don't know well uh that sure that sure was a game um uh the the the entertainment value would have been increased a little bit if the ending did allow you to actually change it like you've gone down the aliens um but uh this game was was uh it sure was a game and i was glad to have experienced it with you guys because uh it's one of those games that if you play it alone you'll probably be like i played the shittiest game last night yeah how bad was it well so you make your own judgment how this game was but i can't really recommend this game but i can't say this if you're into blown up aliens then uh sure why not go for it buddy this game has six reviews how the [ __ ] did he find it i i just googled like um what did i think i used like alien alien on steam and i found this game so you know but uh oh [ __ ] the goddamn ui is still on screen god damn it okay maybe let me get that out thanks okay anyway so yeah there we go that's ovni abduction and it uh it was a game and i say hey thanks for checking in that sure was a lot of fun uh absolutely so uh with that we are now going to move on to uh uh the easter egg not the easter egg games but the easter games so i'll be right back sit tight and we got more games coming up so don't go anywhere but uh final thoughts about this game i mean how can i say it's a bad game if i had a lot of fun streaming it

Channel: Vargskelethor Uncut: Full Joel Streams

Views: 56,729

Rating: 4.9580274 out of 5

Keywords: vinesauce, joel, full, stream, unedited, playthrough, part, vargskelethor, spooky, saturday, signal, sim, signal simulator, grey, alien, fear, door, metal, slug, rawkit lawnchair, ending, ufo, space, bad, steam, spanish

Id: quXM3Fsxj2M

Length: 99min 47sec (5987 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 08 2021