Viewer Questions From Across the Country: South Carolina

[Music] hey everyone we are here and our next state viewer question-and-answer series have no idea what my official title of this is but we're here with Melissa from South Carolina and she is going to be asking me three questions whatever she wants to ask me I think it's kind of fun I haven't really put parameters on this maybe I should you know but go ahead with your first question Melissa hey y'all Hillary I'm carrying my first question or it's more of a comment maybe so about sixteen years ago I had a co-worker whose son died and in domestic violence incident so I went to the funeral I went to the funeral home and I was kind of shocked I guess because it was an african-american and I had never really been to an african-american funeral home before so I didn't know what to expect the ceilings were really low it was really dim they still had the rose-colored lights like every funeral pass but the on the casket it had a sign that said do not touch so a cousin of the decedent came in and down and kissed him on the forehead and the funeral director got really mad and told him that he could not touch the body that he could read the Sun and that if he did it again that he would be asked to leave so the cousin was upset of course and it's saying I can't believe they've done this to you by you and this kind of stuff and the cousin bit down to kiss him again and the senior director actually made them leave escorted him out Wow could it be because some people look embalming and the presentation as an art the kid was not he was shot in the body it was not any you know no reconstruction or anything like that but it just called me off guard because I mean I've never seen number one that do not touch sign and then number two a funeral director making someone leave because they actually touched their loved one in the casket because you know being in the South we always touch or kiss or whatever in a casket yeah I you know that's one of those situations that it's it would be its me really just big guessing on it even though he may have been shot in the chest if he laid for a little bit of the time and maybe had some discoloration and they had to use a lot of cosmetics for some reason there might have been something that they didn't want the cosmetics messed off a lot of funeral homes if they're really concerned about that will use the veil which is that kind of netting that goes over the casket it goes from the lid and it hangs down over so that way you can't get to the disease and so that will be used a lot I've never seen I do not touch side usually people will use the veil which is basically like saying hey don't touch this person um so that's really odd that they had the sign and I can see that you know somebody is not listening and somebody is trying to do those things kind of like a casket crawler if someone was trying to continue again in the casket or overstep the boundaries of what they felt was comfortable that they would remove that person but I feel like there would be a reasoning or maybe they would explain to the person you need to please not touch them because of like if I have used a lot of cosmetics on an individual I will let the family know you know this is what there's a lot of cosmetics here there's a lot of cosmetics here because of her condition or his condition you know if you want to touch her or him on the hands I just need a few minutes before the public comes in so I can reapply that cosmetic or if it's something next way extensive I'll just tell them you have to it's them or whatever veils are not common in our era some funeral homes use in every single time and so I would I would guess that there was a lot of cosmic they didn't want to have my stop I've never seen or heard of a funeral director being afraid of people touching and deceased like that but there's a first for everything that maybe they just had some irrational fear I don't know that is I so or maybe the family just said we don't want anybody touching him to that they just wanted people to stay away but I feel like if you okay yeah I feel like you would put up a rope or you would put up something not just a sign like a sign really doesn't do anything especially if the director was gonna be standing there that I feel like sometimes you're Kate or something yeah just like a lot nicer oppa rounder I don't know there I feel like there could have been maybe easier ways depending on what the situation was to have that kind of barrier but yeah that is an odd odd situation so what's your number two question yeah so my number two question is if someone is autopsy and they are not having a public viewing are they do they have to be involved no would the family be able to see them if they were yes they still can the funeral home may charge a fee for restorative something before an identification time for suturing the head and kind of getting the person back to another because a lot of pathologists just put in a few stitches to hold like the cavity area closed and just put in maybe even one stitch on the scalp to hold the head closed so we in order to get that person ready for an identification view still have to open up the cranium dry it out suture the whole head set the features so we still have work to do to get that person ready for that identification time if they want them dressed we still have to suture the whole chest put them in plastics maybe like undergarments even so it really just depends if they just want to do like a quick just see their face some funeral directors will just kind of put a towel around here so all you see is their face and that way they don't suture they don't do whatever which I feel like you should do that if you're going to be showing that person to the family but some funeral directors will just wrap a towel unzip the bag let them see them and then so it kind of just depends who's viewing situation what a director may do if they don't want to have to charge if a family doesn't want to pay but they want to see them you know they may just do the bare minimum to show the family that person without having to do all the suturing and stuff it just depends but you do not have to involve kind of the same rules apply you don't need to embalm unless if you know home requires it yeah so what's your number three so my third question is I'm gay I'm sure I'm not alone in this because I have learned a lot from you just by watching your videos maybe later being a professor at one of the mortuary schools I have if the positions have open up for like an online position I would do it I think it would be so fun I do so much interaction with students now because I have a Facebook group that has a whole bunch of students in it and it's continually more and more and more adding and so I feel like I'm teaching and then doing a lot I just don't have a you know a curriculum and I don't have one area I speak in per se so I think it would be really fun to do I don't have a mortuary school near where I live so I would have to do like an online you know beep on one of the online professors or some and maybe travel to be in the classroom once a month or something like if I worked in Detroit or Worsham or something that was a little closer I could travel there maybe every couple weeks for a day or something I would love it I love trying to better the future of the business whether it's with you know students or just cultivating that passion and helping students kind of enter with the right mind frame and helping them find opportunities there's a lot of students who have not have been able to get shadowing you know opportunities or apprenticeships or anything and just helping them make connections when they're feeling like they're not able to I always make sure they've done their due diligence I'm not going to do it for them but if I know they've put the work in and they're just not getting somewhere I've helped connect them to somewhere and then and then it's up to them at that point but you know helping them get their foot in the door if they've really not been able to and more than happy to do that because I know sometimes it's hard especially the battle between the old and new generations right now is huge it's a huge transition right now because it is it going to be a very different business in ten years and so going from that old traditional to this middle is going on and then we've got this new batch of people coming in that are from different generations different upbringing different mindsets and trying to make that all mesh together does not always go well but I think it can go better than you know it is with nurturing and cultivating and helping so I'm trying to do my little bitty part but I would love to I would love to teach at a school I don't know what I would teach what class would I want to teach I don't even know so carries ramblings 101 would be like my class I don't even know but I think it would be fun I think it would be fun to do for sure yeah it would be fun so and I love the students I would get so attached to them I'd cry every time they came and left and oh goodness it would be crazy I'd be like they would be my little my little kids every time so because they've gone and spoke at mortuary schools and stuff and every time I connect to a couple of students while I'm there and so I will text and I'll check in on them and see how they're doing and you know you just kind of once you're in my little family you're in my family like I just don't let you go I'm kind of mama bear so way too many people it's right yeah but that's how my mom is that's my mom to achieve so once you're with her she will take care of you until you die so it's not a bad characteristic I guess to have it's not I appreciate this we've had a little lag in your video but I've been able to hear you clearly which is good so you may not love how your face has been frozen every time you freeze up but when you watch the video back but it's a good questions thank you thank you of course any time well thanks guys and we'll see you later bye [Music]

Channel: Kari the Mortician

Views: 124,639

Keywords: south carolina, no touching, casket veil, undertaker, mortician, kari the mortician, mortuary, funeral home, casket, coffin, crematory, cremation, cemetery, burial

Id: Wao75O053NM

Length: 12min 38sec (758 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 02 2020