Using The Story of my Crime as a Platform for Restorative Justice | Maxwell Melvins | TEDxCUNY

hello everybody I grew up on the streets of Camden New Jersey late sixties early seventies come from a family 15 siblings where five have been incarcerated has some form of contact with the law in my community there was a lack of opportunity lack of jobs lack of it a lot of different things in 1974 my sister was brutally murdered and stomped to death by her boyfriend in front of two of her friends he stomped her beyond recognition he took my little two-year-old nephew who was 2 years old and he threw him out the second-floor window however he survived that but he lived a very hurtful life after that and sure I eventually died over a drug overdose it was very hurting for him and the rest of my family and I believe that is one of the things that actually turned me bad somewhat and a few years later 1980 I was incarcerated for accidental homicide on the night of July 25th me and another gentleman John we're going to purchase some drugs a guy by the name of jr. someone that we knew was selling drugs but he would not sell to just anybody so we needed somebody to get the drugs so we drove to Athens State Street and North Camden I saw Henry and Pancho and I asked them if they could purchase the drugs for me so I gave Henry my $80 the purchase of drugs for me he left I waited for him to come back when he came back he didn't have the drugs or he didn't have my money he said they'd beat him out of it I know he was lying because he was not and he was sweating and all those things so I became extremely angry I said wait there I left I went over to six and Vine Street where he went to purchase the drugs and I asked jr. did you just sell some drugs to a tall dark skinned black guy he said yes I became extremely angry during the course of that a friend of mine by the name of Albert happened to be passing we hadn't seen each other in many years we greeted each other we gave each other hug and while men Albert was there talking I kept hearing screaming voices said get the car get the car get the cars out of gear and when I looked over I saw that the car was rolling in Reverse so I ran over to the car to put the car in park to cut it off and as I was getting out the car my feet hit something on the floor it was a gun my friend John had a gun in the car I picked the gun up as I was getting out the car and when I looked over I saw Henry pulling up in a white van I ran over to Henry I said I want my drugs or my money he says I don't have either I became extremely angry again I believe I slapped him across the face with the pistol he took off running when he took off running our fired several shots fired several reckless shots I didn't know if one of the bullets had anything one or anything but the guy jr. was started walking towards me he said hey you shoot through the guy over there he had nothing to do with that ice I didn't mean to shoot anyone so I looked around and I saw that the crowd was very upset and I got scared John through the car keys I jumped in the car I left I took off while in hiding I became very frightened and scared of what I had done and I learned that the victim had died of a single gunshot wound to the head I also learned that they had been on life support for five days and I also learned the identity of the victim the identity of the victim was my best friend Alberto res the guy that I was just talking to the bullet the stray bullet that I fired it hit him and killed him and you know I had no idea you know that this was a tragedy it's a tragedy many times over you know it's not easy sharing this but it was a tragedy many times over because not only had I taken the life of a human being I've taken the life of my best friend who had nothing to do with it he was doing all the right things in his life he was a community activist he was showing the kids how to box he was teaching him how to swim at the community center me I gravitated more towards the street I was out in the streets and I had you know mistakenly taking this kid's life so you know like the impact of what happened that night has many impacts it didn't just impact me and then just impact his family it had an impact on everybody it had an impact on community the impact it had on the community the community had come so outraged because of this particular area they became so outraged that public officials or law enforcement wasn't doing anything it was like several people had gotten shot in this area it was a bar and the community came so outraged that they set fire to that bar after his death they were that angry and by them setting fire to that bar they also put the lives of so many other people at risk because that bar was connected to other homes and it burnt that whole block down so this was just one of the rippling effects that my crime had it didn't just want his family it didn't just on this one person it had multiple impacts my sister Colleen and the victim's sister also worked together one the dental assistant one was a nurse in the same office building this then destroyed a relationship but it did cause them a lot of heartache and pain to repeatedly have to explain to their co-workers their co-workers just couldn't understand how the two of y'all our friends when your brother just killed my brother they couldn't understand that this is something that they needed to work out but everyone else was more concerned but as I said the impact of crime and the impact that it had whether it's one first responders or whoever is their crime just has so many it's just not on one single person and I try to go around and I try to share that message with everybody and share this message with the kids that I speak to to show them that you know you need to think always think because it just has so many different impacts on everybody while I was in prison in honor of my friend I needed to do something in my life I mean all this couldn't just be in vain so in honor of him and myself I wanted to do different things I transferred to always a prison and I heard they had a lot of programs that was available I got involved with the lifers group a lot of people know better at scare straight based on the documentary 1978 where we showed kids that were at risk a prison would bring them into the prison give them a tour show them the harsh truths about prison life and when I joined that group I was in there for a while and it didn't seem like their message was getting out and at that time rap music was very popular the kids were listening all listening to rap music they were wearing the clothing the hairdos and everything so I thought what better way to get some message my message out to these kids right here so he came up with the idea I reached out to a gentleman Red Alert who was one woman our funders list and there was a gentleman by the name of David Klein and I said Dave there's some guys inside of here I'd like to do a record and I'd like to try to save some lives or something and he was going to be the new head of Hollywood basic which is a record company that was owned by Disney and the thing is men there's any Disney Company in the lifers group had the same thing in common they were under the life of entertaining kids we were into the saving kids life I went to the gentleman the younger guys inside the prison and I said if you can be fine or a message that you can give to somebody to turn a lives around what would you say because I would like for you to put that in a rap format for me because I'm trying to make a record and they thought it was a joke I'm in prison I'm gonna make a album I'll make a record so they did I didn't have to search far because you have so many different talents you have a lot of talented people inside of prison we put there we put the album out the first one was a huge success our message had gotten out there people were starting to take heed I was getting letters from parents saying up the difference that we had on their child's life or their lives college students were coming in but in uh later on I received one letter from a girl in Canada she thought that we were a very fake group she sent me on an interview on much TV of Canada but a gentleman by the name of Mike wins she was in this gang she wanted to get out the game every time she wanted to get out the game the guys in the group with threatener I have you on tape having sex with my buddies and I'm gonna show this to your mother so she plotted to kill these four guys the only thing that stopped her from killing these four guys was seeing my interview and that one chance that 1% of the possibility of her get in court and going to jail is the only thing that stopped her she had the weaponry and everything was the only thing that stopped her so again I said I know my message in the music was getting out there I had received like so many letters from organizations and just so many people of making it making a difference in different people lives and as y'all know we were nominated for a Grammy in 1991 against Madonna Peter Gabriel Sinead O'Connor and Billy Joe Madonna one for best long form music video but I had no idea this project was gonna become bigger than me I wasn't looking forward to a Grammy or anything I was just doing what I was doing trying to make a difference in someone life in 1993 I was shipped out of Rahway State Prison because there was some popularity the group had become somewhat popular to other prisoners to some of the correction officers in there and there was a little animosity and jealousy that was caused in there I was shipped out of Rahway administrative Lee to another prison in 1993 and I spent the next 20 years transferred to several prisons but every prison that I came in contact with I got in touch with someone in the community whether it was college students news magazines to write poetry I was a facilitator and many of the other programs focus of the victim program just something that I can do to give back focus to the victim program it's a program it shows defenders of the impact that your crime has on the victors and survived because crime and a person going to prison also isn't just about punishment there's a punitive aspect but there's also a rehabilitative aspect to prison too you serve your punitive then you try to work on the other part I've been home since 2011 and since I've been home what I try to do is I try to continue to go around to various schools to talk to kids talk to parents and I try to just our model has always been learned the chief at the expense of our sorrows one of my main messages to the kids I'm somebody I don't want you I wanted to be an example of what not to be or what not to become and change is not spiral you know I mean change is spiral change is not straight it doesn't happen overnight change it took me many many many years to change just like it took me those many years to change or to get to the level of where I was as far as what happened that night it might take a person or take me just as many years to undo those type of thinking patterns and behavior patterns that I've learned over a period of time so it just doesn't happen overnight as I said I'm trying not just for my victim but I'm just trying to be an asset to the community and said I've been a liability most of my life I've been in and out of trouble all my life as a young teen and I'm not gonna blame it on drugs I'm not gonna blame it anything on anything but I can't leave out the fact of a drug addiction because it played a big part in my earlier life hood and some of my dog my adult life was so I can't leave that out as that but it's been a combination of things but change is it's very great you know it makes me feel you know very good to see that I'm having a positive impact or if I'm helping someone to turn a life around you know just to make everyone realize the impact you know it just it just it devastates me whether it's from first responders or whoever for example an ambulance is responding to a call you have a kid who's been shot several times it has an impact even first responders I mean crime is it's just it's just it's just such a tragedy and we just need to be you know everybody needs to just be more aware when I made that decision to change my life and the decisions that I make now and it's not based off of well I'm scared I'm gonna get caught oh I don't want to go to jail no the decisions that I make in my life right now it's because it's the right thing to do that I don't want to harm anybody I don't want anybody else to harm anybody so I go around I continue to go around to the various community centers and I just try to share my story and hopes that it that it will help somebody or that it will help turn a kids turn somebody's life around it's just something I want to give back especially when I've taken so much and with my music project I've received so many letters of accommodation so many certificates and various things but all those things don't mean nothing what's been the most rewarding for me is when I receive a letter and say that I've made a difference in their life or their child's life you know that's that's like the greatest feeling in the world and uh it's not easy me standing up here telling you all this neither you know any wrongs that you've done it was like it's not very easy sharing this and sharing my story it's not easy to really do especially when you've done a lot of bad things in your life so I just wanted to you know get up here and share that with you and in hopes that it will help in one way or another it helps somebody to reach somebody and I think you know those of you who came out to see me or to hear me and I think y'all very much for coming and I just want to say thank you all for coming [Music] can't tell me damn thing about to get oh I've been there [Music] you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 8,681

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Education, Criminal justice, Hardship, Law, Music (performance), Prison, Reform

Id: _5uZ0QQhCJw

Length: 18min 9sec (1089 seconds)

Published: Thu May 17 2018