Embracing the Fluidity of Self | Kashish Behl | TEDxGEMSInternationalSchool

so let me start by ask you did you look at yourself the this morning while you were forming your B brushing your teeth putting that makeup on I'm sorry you did you all look so pretty today but let me ask once again did you actually look at yourself was it your protection was it you or was it a Mah we really feel some that we know ourselves so well isn't it but isn't it just anation of social expectations of us so the one image that you saw in the mirror today I ask the GU was it you or your perception of you based on the perception of others about you that got a bit complicated right so let me take you through some of the very famous uh psychological theories now James Marcia talks about these theories of identity formation it starts with identity confusion diffusion crisis and ends with identity achievement then we have Eric ion a psychoanalyst he GES a lot of Developmental stages um across you know from childhood till the time we get old but I only talk about the stage thats for teenagers which is identity versus no confusion and then let me use the very famous phrase you going through an identity crisis now all this often makes me wonder coming back to dreams Maia is identity achievement surely the end of it and doesn't Define that I've got an identity for the rest of my life are we all not perpetually involving or when Ed said that teenagers go through identity versus confusion is it just the teenagers I'm sure here in the audience so many of us as adults feel we are in that enage stage still so let me come back to my bigger question is this all even a crisis is it rare to call this a crisis in the times that we living today the information the real of information out there shapes are identity and it's based on things like who I I interact with or the art I adire the technology I use in mind you that does the life between thought and Bo so then who am I am I the one standing in front of you today or am I the one who I saw in the mirror today morning or am I the one who constantly just like this for the rest of her life or am I the one who I think I should be back well the questions go on and on and on and on and as a ponder over these questions you know what's funny people ask me hey you are a psychologist and you should have all this figured out of you should be absolutely sorted you are the field of mental health and that's when I don't have an answer because let me throw one more trory at you which is s to unfilling prophecy now who I am how I beh how I think my mannerisms are usually nothing but a shape or a result of people's expectation of and that honestly standing here I must confess to me my entire my indan self and my real self have really been power all credits to Carl Rogers the psychologist who gave the theory that more your ideal self is away from your real self more the districy more the dissonance more the anxiety and more the challenge ches that one face and so far in my life I be honest I have really struggled to find me I've often Tred to find me in this brid and I've often Tred to find myself the me in external validations someone will tell me hey you wearing pink and think suits you and I like ring with happiness I'm high on self-confidence and I'm like heay being so sweet and then one minute later someone tells me oh but should you not have tried black and then I'm like oh so now is it that or thing for me and then the confusion was not I respect if people tell me hey you look like a nerd and I got a new identity I'm a nerd if I'm lovable or not depending on whether people accepted me or rejected me and oh my God the noise in my head really kept making me question the very nature of my existence it was like someone invisible stuck on me all the time not let it go off so back again I ask who am I and then eventually I learned that human identity is a dynamic mon it evolves and then from who I was and who I expected to be like I well we all are living in the time of social media right we are social animals and we need validation we need to be accepted and you must all be It's Like Oxygen it's for supp I want to be accepted I want to be validated and thanks to media out there and all the conspiracy theories they are weaving we are noing the authenticity and we are also losing the sense of belongingness in this world the disordinate narratives that are buil are actually time casting people into the FRS of these identities that have been defined for the so then what is my identity is it the Identity or the digital identity because I must say sometimes I feel if you want to understand we better L my social media and then as I navigate through the me of these social expectations you all again agree that somehow we always enter conforming to the Norms conforming to the expectations of the people around us I also as an ATT today would say I'm still not able to avoid those tempations those expectations that buzz up all her time so then it's Injustice to the endic self I give a small example celebrities today have actually started putting out their unfiltered no makeup look kind of which is wild it's for the you to start realizing that the ideal self they are chasing doesn't even exist the class body or the smooth skin or the Flawless looks that everyone's admiring doesn't even exist so now who am am I the one you will find on my social media in the light section by my friends or am I the one you would probably find in the comments of strangers well I think I'm taking a decision here and I'm very comfortable accepting that I are with a fluid identity that the identity evolves and it's not a destination it's a journey and I'm willing to embrace that journey of self-discovery and this is a message today for the entire youth out there you don't have a window you don't have a prist and you don't have to figure your identity today and now I am still struggling with it and I'm sure so are you you don't have a deadline for that so as we walk on this journey of finding ourselves our identity let's enjoy this JY of exploration of embracing who am I because yes identity is dynamic it is mixed and that's okay I'm involing I'm exploding I'm restling and know what it's me as my so in this world where the world is consistently trying to Define us I choose to reclaim The Narrative of my so as Virginia will put unless are myself I am thank you Med [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 942

Keywords: Acceptance, Creation, English, Life, Research, Self improvement, TEDxTalks, Vulnerability, [TEDxEID:55239]

Id: gzIXs3Gra9Q

Length: 10min 2sec (602 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 21 2024