Unbelievable Stuff They Didn't Teach You About Ancient Egypt

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Egypt is considered by many historians to be one of the first great civilizations, and modern Egyptians can trace a national heritage that stretches back thousands of years. At its prime, Egypt was a true ancient superpower and a center of art, culture, and education. Many of its ancient monuments still rise up from the desert sands, and the pyramids are considered some of the oldest, and grandest, human structures still standing. The tombs of its long-dead pharaohs continue to mystify us with the allure of untold riches and priceless artifacts buried under the shifting sands, and the curses that protect them terrify people around the world. But Egypt was also a pretty crazy place, and today we're going to find out just how nutters the Egyptians really were and some of the crazy things they actually did. Lice is one of mankind's oldest companions, but today young children and their parents are the only ones at real risk of getting a lice infestation. Even if an infestation occurs, treatment is typically as simple as an over-the-counter shampoo that'll kill the tiny invaders and their eggs. Yet in the Bible they might as well have included a plague of lice as one of the great plagues that struck Egypt, because lice were literally everywhere. To cope with this human-scalp munching infestation, the Egyptians would shave every inch of body hair they could put a sharp knife to. That's the reason why the egyptians sported the cue ball look- but it wasn't just the men, it was the women as well. To cope with losing all their hair, the women would wear fashionable wigs that once infested, could be easily tossed away. At least in ancient egypt you could be sure that the carpets did indeed match the drapes- because they were both infested with lice. In today's society women have been for years making it pretty clear that they're fed up with being randomly catcalled on the street- and we can't blame them. Here's a pro-tip for our male viewers: no woman ever thinks its a compliment for you to leer at her or randomly tell her how beautiful she is, in fact it's downright creepy. Yet the problem of catcalling is hardly new, and the Egyptians were as prolific catcallers as any modern sexually frustrated and socially inept male. The Greek historian Herodotus watched as Egyptians prepared for a religious festival in the city of Bubastis and gathered together with their families onto boats. As they cruised down the Nile, the men on the boats would jeer at women and shout at them, pulling up their garments to expose themselves. We guess that much like modern catcallers, ancient Egyptian men also held on to the hope that a random catcall would woo a woman so thoroughly that she would jump straight into their arms. After swimming across a crocodile-infested river of course. At least modern women don't have to worry about men exposing themselves at them as they catcall- that's what texting is for. In 1922 famed Egyptologist Howard Carter discovered the long-buried tomb of Tutankhamen. Descending down a shaft dug into the desert ground, he and his financier Lord Carnarvon encountered a sealed portal, which Carter immediately began to chisel through. Making a small hole, Carter stuck his torch inside and craned his head to peer into the darkness, as behind him the impatient Lord Carnarvon asked him, “Can you see anything?”. Carter's reply quickly became one of the most famous quotes in history, saying, “Yes! Wonderful things!.” A tomb filled with gold, jewels, and precious artifacts, Tutankhamen's final resting place had lain undisturbed for three thousand years, and as glinting riches met Carter's eyes, something else did too. Something... peculiar. It was Tutankhamun's erection. Unlike any other ancient Egyptian pharaoh discovered to date, for some reason King Tut was found buried with his genitalia at a ninety degree angle. Theories abound amongst archaeologists, but we here at The Infographics Show are pretty sure we know why the ancient king asked to be buried with a full-on hard on: I mean, c'mon, of course he did. You can't have a bunch of boys becoming god-pharaohs and dying young without at least one of them demanding to be buried with a stiffy. Even more controversial though is the fact that some researchers suspect that his embalmers switched his real member with a more impressive specimen, which raises a whole host of questions we're not ready to start answering. The ancient Egyptians weren’t just skilled at working on the bodies of the dead, they were also quite advanced in the fields of medicine for their age, for example, women had an ancient type of pregnancy test where they would moisten a sample of barley and emmer wheat with their urine every day. If the barley grew then that meant that the woman was pregnant and it was likely going to be a boy, and if the emmer wheat grew then the woman was pregnant with a girl. If neither grew, then the woman wasn't pregnant. I might sound like like snake oil, but the test has been confirmed by modern science to have been surprisingly effective. But what about when women didn't want to get pregnant in the first place? By 1350 BC the Egyptians were using condoms made of specially colored linen that was soaked in olive oil. Like most other cultures, the Egyptians also made do with condoms made from the intestines of sheep, which might put a crimp in your love life today. For the most cutting edge birth control though, Egyptian doctors would tell women to mix together crocodile or elephant excrement along with honey, dates, or other pleasant smelling substances and then they would shove this inside themselves to create a sort of plug. Crude, but effective at stopping sperm at the source- though we wonder if it wouldn't take less dung to simply plug the hole on the male side of things? Egyptian women were often written about by travelers and described as having a beautiful, foreign mystique to them, and it turns out the Egyptians found their own women just as alluring as the foreigners did. During his stay in ancient Egypt, Herodotus recorded that when the most beautiful women had died, the Egyptians would allow their bodies to decay for several days before being taken to the embalmer. This had less to do with saying goodbye or some weird ancient ritual, and more with the fact that ancient Egyptians didn't trust their embalmers to not get down with the corpses of their dead women. Herodotus recorded that an embalmer was once caught in the act of necrophilia with a recently deceased woman by a co-worker, and thus the Egyptians decided to ensure that there would be no more unrequited lovemaking with the dead by making sure that their most visually pleasing women were a little overly ripe by the time they got to a potentially horny embalmer. It seems some men aren't content to stop at catcalling and exposing themselves. We've all seen pictures of ancient hieroglyphics portraying the ancient god-pharaohs of Egypt as muscular and perfect specimens of humanity- after all, as the living incarnations of gods how could they be anything short of physically perfect? Yet the reality is far from what was portrayed on ancient walls. We're all familiar with tweaking a selfie to get our good side, and if we were completely honest on our dating profiles we'd admit that maybe we don't look exactly the way we do in our photos. It turns out that the most egregious offenders in the fake selfie category though were the pharaohs, who ordered their artists to portray them as physically perfect while being massively obese. With priests ordered to prepare three banquets each day, and with each banquet overflowing with meats, wine, and all matter of cakes, the pharaohs grew to rather rotund proportions. Today their mummies have been discovered with clogged arteries, giant bellies, and huge fat folds. The Egyptians were so familiar with obesity that they produced medical texts on its dangers as early as 1500 BC. Slim figures however were still the beauty standard of the day, so Egyptian royals would take laxatives three times a month. This would be in the form of castor oil, after which they would spend pretty much the entire day on the toilet. Sadly this isn't how weight loss works and it did little to curb their obesity, though the real tragedy lies in the fact that plumbing hadn't been invented yet. We'll let your fertile imaginations paint that picture. As one of the most medically advanced ancient cultures, the Egyptians placed a premium on health and had doctors for every part of the body, much as we do today. Dentists worked on teeth, optometrists cared for the eyes, and naturally, the ancient Egyptians also had proctologists. Yet the Egyptian word for proctologist translated as “shepherds of the anus”, and despite all our advancements in modern medicine, we one hundred percent need to go back to calling proctologists the shepherds of our anuses. With their limited understanding of medicine though, an anus shepherd had a pretty simple job, as giving enemas was pretty much the only solution available to what might have ailed you back then. Stomach problems? Stick some medicine up your anus. Constipated? Let's shepherd this concoction into your backside. Wife left you and took the dog in the divorce? Anus medicine. Enemas were all the rage in ancient Egypt, and they were so revered that they even had their own origin myth. The Greeks believed that the titan Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to man- and for the Egyptians their god Thoth developed the enema and then gave it to man as a gift. As far as usefulness goes, fire's done pretty alright by us... but I guess, um, thanks for the enemas? Schistosomiasis is a disease caused by a parasitic flatworm which is brought on when the worms latch themselves to the intestines. The parasite enters the human body through contaminated water, and once inside the human body the worms develop into maturity and release their eggs, which get flushed out of the body and back into the environment to repeat the life cycle. To say that the worms were endemic to ancient Egypt would be an understatement, as it's believed that the vast majority of the population was playing host to dozens of worms living inside them. One of the symptoms of infection is blood in the urine, and the parasites were so widespread amongst the Egyptians that it was believed men also menstruated along with women. In fact, blood in a man's urine was seen as a sign of fertility, and we suppose in a way the ancient Egyptians were right, for the man was in fact full of life. Just the creepy-crawley, deep-in-your-guts type of life. Christians believe that God simply spoke the world into being, and many religions around the world share a similar creation myth. Ancient Egyptians however had their own spin on things. For them, the world before creation was much like in the book of Genesis: a formless void without shape. Here however is where the similarities end and the Egyptians take a very sharp left turn with things. In their creation myth the bisexual god Atum masturbated into the void and gave birth to a twin pair of gods by spitting them out of his mouth, and from there all creation follows. We’re not sure why the masturbation was necessary, and we're not even going to comment about what that insinuates about the real nature of the world around us. To honor this act of creation though, Pharaohs had to routinely engage in a fertility ritual that would ensure their land remained rich and their crops bountiful. To do this, Pharaohs- whom remember, were nearly all very obese- had to shuffle down to the banks of the Nile and, again masturbate into the water. The Egyptians saw this as a powerful act of symbolism, and in fact the ancient Egyptian word for semen, progeny and the floods of the Nile were all the same word What other crazy things have you heard of the Egyptians doing? Let us know in the comments! Also make sure you check out our other video, how rich was Cleopatra! And as always if you enjoyed this video don't forget to Like, Share, and Subscribe for more great content!
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Channel: The Infographics Show
Views: 2,497,657
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: Egypt, history, ancient Egypt, education, educational, infographics show, the infographics show, animation, animated, cartoon, cartoons, historical, Pyramids, Egyptian, Animated History, True, Mummy, Mummified, Ancient, funny, ancient egyptians, pyramid, sphinx, archaeology, mummies
Id: QYVZFWHKWKI
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Length: 10min 51sec (651 seconds)
Published: Fri Jun 28 2019
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