Liv Liv: And you know what's crazy? I had a dream that there were ants coming out of my butthole. Cort Bort: Olivia, the "ants in your pants" saying is just a metaphor. Steve: It is just a metaphor *from the pit rises....the challenge!* Olivia: Yeah, yeah yeah, hi guys. What's up?
Courtney: Hello Olivia: We're very, uh, we're ecstatic because we have two very special, funny human beings here. Olivia: Uh, we got Lee Newton from The Valleyfolk and we got Steve Zaragoza from
Olivia and Courtney: The Valleyfolk! *everyone applauding and cheering* Courtney: So, we are going to do the Try Not to Laugh Challenge today, you know the rules: each person has thirty seconds to make them laugh, no touchy-touchy! Courtney: We break rules for love. It's okay *music* Courtney: Good think I peed for this, because this game fills up your bladder real quick. Courtney: Spit and swallow, you decide. *sound effect* Courtney: Let me know if you guys are ready. Lee: Sure, a lot of this smells like B.O. Steve: Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to come out. Courtney: Okay. Let me swallow-let me put some water in my mouth. Steve: Here I come. Steve: *clears throat* *piano jingle* Steve: Oh, hello, good afternoon. Steve: Uh, I'm, I'm here to, uh, to do a special private show for you with my daughter. Are you ok with that? Steve: Okay, come out, Carolina. *laughter* *Courtney laughs* Steve: Okay, this is my daughter *laughter* Steve: She wants to just talk to you really quick. So, *Courtney snickers* she'll sit down on your shoulder here. *laughter* *Courtney spits out water* Steve as Carolina: I'm Carolina! *everyone laughs* Courtney: What the hell! Steve: She's just, she likes to spread out. *Courtney laughs* Steve: Did I, was that, was that, was that touching though? Did I touch? Did I touch? Courtney: No, that's ok, you didn't directly touch me. That's fine if she sat on my shoulder. Steve: 'Cause it's just like, yeah, ok, great, great, yeah, puppet, whoo! *everyone laughs* Uh, who's up next? Olivia: Me. All right, ready. Go whenever you're ready. *light music* Olivia: Hi, my name is Goryo and I work at SeaWorld. *light music* *plastic waterbottle crinkles* Olivia: Oh, sorry. Olivia: Uh, *Courtney and Olivia laugh* uh, sorry, uh, yeah, here's the t-pa-t-part where I? *laughter* Courtney: Okay. Noah: And, now, the world's *laughter* fastest swimmer ever, Glark! Lee: GLARK?! Lee: GLARK?! Steve (maybe Shayne?): Glark! Lee: GLARK! Noah: Been practicing in the sewers lately. *squeaks* *Courtney chokes and laughs* Noah: Oh, I touched you, I'm so sorry. I can't see. Courtney: You can't see! *laughs* You got me. Noah: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Courtney: Not yet. *Steve making noises* *Noah laughs* *Courtney laughs* *laughter* *light piano jingle* *Courtney giggles* Lee: Wakanda forever. *laughter* Lee: Wakanda! *laughter* Steve: Wakanda forever?! *laughter* *Olivia playing the congo drums*
Lee: Wakanda forever! *Olivia playing the congo drums and laughter* *Olivia playing the congo drums*
Lee: Wakanda! *laughter* *Courtney choking and laughing* *laughter* Courtney: Oh my God. *laughter and applause* Steve: Get ready, Courtney, I'm comin'! Courtney: Oh my god, wait, you already went! Steve: No, I'm goin' again. *Lee laughing* *light music* *snickering* *Steve coughs* Steve: Hi, my name is Scrammy. *laughter and Courtney squealing* Steve: My doctor says I have 99 seconds to live, *everyone laughs*, so, I'm gonna sing you a song, and every second that goes by is the last moment I have on Earth. *everyone laughs* Courtney: Oh my God! *applause* Courtney: Hey guys, come out! *burp sound* Olivia: Alright, how was it? *laughter* Olivia: You laughed every time. Courtney: I did, guys, you guys just know what- the thing is, like, I love silly things. Olivia: Aw. Steve: Aw. Olivia: Who was your-who made you laugh the hardest? Lee: Is that your Twitter bio? *everyone laughs* Steve and Noah in funny voices: I love silly things! Courtney in funny voice: I love silly things! *Steve laughs* Courtney: Um, I don't-ok. *Courtney laughs* You guys all make me laugh a lot. Steve: You won't hurt anyone's feelings. Courtney: Noah, I think you, like, surprised me the most. *Courtney laughs* Noah: Yeah, sorry, I hit you. Lee: That's fine. Cool! *yelling* Steve: LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA STEP UP MY GAME! *music* Noah: Okay, so, The Valleyfolk happen to be some of our favorite people. Noah: Um, I think I lose every time. I don't expect this to be different. *Steve and Lee making sounds* *Steve making sounds* *laughter* Lee: Ah, hey, my name is Princess Peach bish. And, I was a queen back in the day, bish! Lee: But, you know what happened! Fame happened, bish! *laughter* Lee: That's what happened! Lee: Jon Snow's brother, Jeb Snow, bish! *laughing* *laughter* Steve: Hey, hey, I got four nuts! *everyone laughs* Courtney: Ready, Noah? *music* Courtney: Gosh dang it, honey! Courtney: Oh my God I found HARD bread in the kitchen again. *laughter* You know what that means I have to do? Come out, son! Courtney: Son! Courtney: Son, I have to spank our son with hard bread! *laughter* *Steve playing the kazoo* *laughter* *Noah laughs* Noah: Oh my God. *coughs* Noah: I'm barely alive. *coughs* *Lee screams* Lee: NOAH! Lee: Are you READY? Lee: Ok, Noah! Lee: NOAH! Steve: Hey NOAH!
Lee: Hold on! Steve: HEY NOAH!
Lee: NOAH! Steve: Hey NOAH!
Lee: You ready? Steve: NOAH!
Courtney: Noah, be READY! Steve: NOAH!
Courtney: BE READY! Steve: NOAH! Courtney: You better be READY!
Courtney and Steve: NOAH! *laughter* *laughter* Steve: Ok, here we go. *laughter* *Lee making sound effects* *laughter* *Lee making sound effects* *laughter* *music playing from Steve's phone* *everyone laughs* *music playing from Steve's phone* *laughter* Lee: No touching, Steve! Steve: I can't help it, he's beautiful! Lee: No touching! Everyone: YAY! Courtney: Come on out, Steve. Come on out, Steve. *laughing* Courtney: How was, how was it? Noah: That was, uh, unbelievably funny. You guys made me spit up. Also, sneeze up, I think, um. Lee: I do wanna say. I, I gave the note to Steve to hold the ball much more like a gimp, and he really didn't hold onto that. Steve: I held it like this! Is this not gimp-like? Lee: No, buddy. *music* *music* Are you ready, Lee? Okay. She's ready. *Steve singing* *Steve singing* *Lee laughs* *laughter* *Steve singing* *laughter* Lee: Oh, Steve! *laughs* Everytime, it's my favorite! Lee: Oh, I love a good butt joke! *laughter* *laughter* *Lee making sounds* Steve: I shouldn't take my pants off again. Olivia: Okay, so I'm about *Lee laughs*
to tell you 20 Flash puns, ok? *Lee murmurs, "20?!"* Olivia: 20. Olivia: Um, can I flash you? *Lee snickers* Olivia: You want a flashlight? Olivia: Okay, um, uh, I'll be here in a flash! Olivia: Um, uh, you lookin' flashy tonight, hot mama! Olivia: Um, uh, flash. *Lee snickers and spits out water* *everyone laughs* Lee: None of these are puns! *everyone laughs* Olivia: What, they're not? *Lee laughs* Olivia: They a play on words, or somethin'? Lee: No, you're just saying the word "flash". *everyone laughs* Olivia: Oh, shoot. *Lee laughs* Lee: Wonderful job! *imitating Olivia* Uh, FLASH! Lee: Noah, you better be fully erect. *music* *Noah breathing heavily* *music* Olivia: So bad. Courtney: The breathing! *Noah breathing heavily* *music* *Lee spits out water* *laughter* Steve: What's the purpose of that? *laughter* Lee: Really good stuff! Lee: YOU GUYS REALLY NEED WIGS! *laughter* Lee: Are you ready? Yeah. Courtney: Alright. *Courtney exhales* *Lee snickers* *laughter* *Courtney sniffs plastic and drops it on the ground* Courtney: MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! *Lee laughs* *clapping* Lee: Really beautiful stuff. Uh, I'm currently covered. Lee: I just need a ShamWow. Lee: That's all. Thank you. Lee: As much as I love a good butthole, as much as I love a great pot joke. Lee: Oh, no, I didn't get any and I'm upset about it. *Courtney laughs* Lee: Um, I gotta give it to Olivia because those were nowhere near Flash puns. *laughter* Olivia: Okay, what about this one-
Lee: And, hold on, *laughter* I counted five and you tapped out at five going "FLASH". *laughter* Olivia: Uh, flash. Um. *Olivia laughs* *Lee spits out water* Lee: So, you had 15 more to go.
Olivia: I could've done it.
Lee: Can I, can I hear another one? Olivia: Alright. Uh, did you flash the toilet? *everyone laughs* Noah: Oh, ok, ok. *music* Courtney: Alright. *Courtney places plastic cones on the ground* Courtney: I'm ready to lose my V-card to you. Courtney: This is where it will happen. *Courtney places plastic cones on the ground* *laughter* Courtney: Tradition. *laughter* Steve: Oh my God! *laughter* Steve: What just happened? *laughter and light applause* *laughter* Steve: She just spit up *laughter* Steve: Ready? *Steve playing a tiny drum* *Courtney bouncing a ball* Steve: Are you ready, girls? Steve and Courtney: Yeah! Steve: Let's do it! *playing tiny drum* I've got a tiny drum! *Lee in the background*: I've got a tiny drum! Steve: *playing tiny drum* I've got a tiny drum! *Olivia screams* Lee: I've got a tiny drum! *laughter* Olivia: That was funny. I think I'll laugh every time that happens. Lee: Oh, that feels good. *laughter* *light music* *laughter* *Olivia spits out water* *everyone laughs* *Olivia screams* Steve: Putting a glove on! Courtney: The other glove on! *laughter* *Olivia screaming* *laughter* Olivia: I laughed, dude. *imitating Olivia*: I laughed, dude! *laughter* *laughter* *applause and cheering* That's all you had to do. *people making sounds and clapping* Everybody, now! *people making sounds and clapping* *singing "Holiday" by Madonna*: Holiday! Celebrate! *laughter* Olivia: Oh my God. *laughing* *Steve singing the instrumental to "Holiday" by Madonna* Olivia: Holy crap, guys, that was fantastic. I don't even have a favorite one. *Courtney laughs* Like, all of them. Oh, the little drum was really weird. *everyone laughs* Olivia: It was right up my alley 'cause it was so weird. Uh, and-actually, Noah was pretty weird, too. Uh, yeah, I-*Steve laughs* Steve: What was your motivation? Olivia: Yeah!
Noah: I was just hoping she would laugh and, luckily, you know, it worked.
Olivia: I did! Olivia: Uh, last, but not least, we have one last Valleyfolk. Courtney: Oh. Noah: Steve! *everyone screaming* Steve: Oh no! *Olivia in a funny voice*: I'm gonna make you laugh! *Olivia in a funny voice*: I'm gonna make you laugh! *Noah laughs* *music* Steve: TRYNA BE A PROFESSIONAL! *Steve screaming* *laughter* Steve: Let me know when you guys are close so I don't have to keep water in my mouth for too long. Just keep hydrating! *Noah laughs* Steve: Wigs are coming, I was just told. Lee: It's the very end! Steve: I know, but, it's gonna be about 20 minutes and the wigs'll be here. Steve: Yeah, we're flying wigs in, Lee. They're coming. Lee: Flying them in? Steve: They're flying them in. *light music* *Courtney imitates the yodeling boy meme* *Steve spits out water* *laughter* Steve: It's very topical, I appreciate it. *chuckles* Steve: Alright, is someone else ready? Lee: Steve, are you ready? Steve: Yes. Lee: Ok. Steve: Here I go. Lee: Hold on. *light music* *Courtney imitating the yodeling boy meme* *Steve spits out water* *everyone laughs* Steve: Unfair, unfair! You JUST did it! *laughs* *laughter* Steve: Please, please, just everyone does the same thing. *laughs* Please, everyone does the same thing. Steve, are you ready? Steve: Yeah, yeah, here I go. *light music* *Steve makes sounds* *Steve laughs* *Lee hissing* Lee: Paul, I'm doing a Golden Chain Theatre rendition of Cats. Have you seen my wig? *laughter* Lee: Paul? *Steve snickers and spits out water* *laughter* Lee: Paul, have you seen my wig? Paul, also, I'm missing my Spanx. *everyone laughs* *light applause* Lee: I'm playing Mr. Mistoffelees. *Steve laughs* *Lee hisses* Steve: This is perfect! *singing* Jellicle cats, jellicle cats! Olivia: Are you ready? Steve: I haven't been this wet since high school. Steve: Yeah. Steve: Hang on, here I go. I'm going, ok? *light music* Olivia: Hey, dude. Olivia: It's me, Ethan. Olivia: So, I thought, I got a call, um, I heard you needed a treehouse to be built. Olivia: Um, so, I'm here to do the job. Lee: TO DO THE JOB! Olivia: All right, I'm gonna build this treehouse now. *light music* *Steve snickers* *laughter* Olivia: Take off your pants. *Steve snickers* *laughter* *Steve spits out water* Steve: I almost choked to death. *laughter* YEAH! Steve: That was really good! That was really good! Steve: HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO MAKE A TREEHOUSE OUT OF THOSE? *laughter* Steve: OLIVIA! Olivia: I wasn't gonna make a treehouse. *laughter* Steve: And build a clubhouse! Steve, are you ready? Steve: Yeah, let me drink. Noah: And, now, back to the world championship! *laughter* *Noah placing and shuffling plastic cones on the ground* *Noah placing and shuffling plastic cones on the ground* *laughter* *Steve spits out water* *laughter* *Noah shuffling plastic cones on the ground* *Noah slaps the ground* Noah: Time! *everyone laughs* *laughter* *applause* Steve: *applauding* That is so funny! *applause* Steve: *applauding* I love it, 'cause there totally are those that do those stupid cups and that was perfect! Olivia: Wow, that is so- Steve: Oh, that was great! Noah: You guys crack me up! Steve: I loved every single one of them. I love all of you guys. You guys are very funny people. Noah: Aw, we love you guys! Steve: Aw! Courtney: Yeah, seriously! Thanks for coming on! Steve: What? Noah: Yeah! Courtney: Where can, where can they find you, actually? Steve: On *everyone cheering* Steve: Yeah, yeah. That's right. Olivia: The Valleyfolk! Steve: THE VALLEYFOLK! *everyone cheering* *everyone screaming* *everyone imitating the yodeling boy meme* Lee: You smell nice. Steve: Thank you! *music*
