Trump Needs $454 Million, Fast | Why Nikki Haley Is Holding On | A “Total Genius” Speaks At CPAC

[Applause] welcome welcome one and all in here out there all around the world to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar and it is come on that electric feeling of the first night back I love being back of course I I missed all of yall while we were gone um though I had a great time last week uh you know who did not have a great time last week Donald Trump because on on was this the this was the first day right on the first day of our vacation we finally heard from New York judge and sexy Grandpa Joe from the porn classic Willie and his chocolate WKA Arthur and Goran having previously found Trump uh very guilty of fraud judge and Goran ordered him to pay $355 million baby celebrate his fines come on and the punishment for this is more than just the cash andoran also banned Trump from serving as an executive of the Trump organization or any other New York company for 3 years businessman not that anyone would ask him to run their company these days I wouldn't ask him to run a food cart we're out of wieners I uh I ate all the wieners but since I'm out here fighting for you really you ate the wieners that'll be uh $355 million but it gets worse by which I mean so much better because the $355 million ruling also came with back interest so Trump was formally ordered to pay the state of New York $454 million and every day that Donald Trump doesn't pay up he's charged an additional 100 4,553 and4 four more cents four more cents four more cents thank you thank you you're a wonderful mob now no surprise Trump is appealing the ruling but here's the thing in order to do that he has to put up the entire amount in either cash or bonds within 30 days and the New York attorney general says she'll seize Trump's property if he can't pay and I'm being told we have Leticia James this is the official statement on collecting Trump's Financial penalty that's right she said it she said she put it out there you got to be firm obviously Trump needs cash fast so he's getting into foot stuff that did get a laugh I wasn't sure I wasn't sure if that would get a laugh because I'm so far away from finding feed to track but even a sex joke about feed it I'm like is that a funny thing I don't understand immediately after Ang goran's ruling Trump launched a $399 gold Never Surrender sneakers yes they are a bold fashioned statement it's like if King Midas touched the turd where would you even get gold sneakers has anyone seen my feet but it's not it's not unprecedented for an ex president to have a shoeline we all remember air Taft but man had height the man had vertical you didn't realize it but don't get too excited okay about these shoes because as far as we can tell only a couple of the Thousand limited edition gold snakers have been made so far despite forking over $400 buyers were told Never Surrender high tops are estimated to ship in July 2024 and that all sales are final and nonrefundable so he's got your money and if you're lucky the shoes will never arrive but it's not just the shoes the the website is also selling Trump branded Victory 47 cologne and perfume for $99 a bottle next to this Photograph hello 911 I smell terrible I don't understand you too could look like you could smell like this Photograph but uh you could have this cologne right away and by right away I mean June 2024 I know it seems like a long time to wait but as a wise pair of shoes once told me never surrender Trump did get thank you Trump did get some good news on Saturday he won the South Carolina primary and gave an early victory speech and he started by thanking his family well most of his family first of all my family Melania Baron Don Jr and Kimberly Ivona and Jared Tiffany and Michael they're so so [Applause] supportive it's okay Dad sometimes I forget I exist too is this even me no it's just a really accurate impression cruel but accurate now Nikki Haley Nikki thank you want to thank my lady wife Mickey Haley was rejected by her home state but despite her loss she pledged to stay in the race we're headed to Michigan tomorrow and we're headed to the super Tuesday States throughout all of next week I'm grateful that today is not the end of our story you're absolutely right this isn't the end we're way past the end this is this is like the second or third post credit scene in a Marvel movie where they they hinted some character that no one's ever heard of wow so in another part of the Multiverse Atman has a brother who's an exterminator okay yeah I'll watch that on a plane but I can see why Nikki might be holding on because when you look uh a little more closely at the numbers they aren't that great for Trump in South Carolina over one in five GOP Primary voters said they would not vote for him if he was the nominee with one Haley voter saying of trump I hope he chokes on a sandwich wow that is Harsh wow it is very telling that no one can even hope that he would choke on a [Laughter] salad now okay while while he was down there Trump spoke at agala for South Carolina's black conservative Federation and the speech went about as well as you could guess I got indicted for nothing and then I got indicted a second time and a third time and a fourth time and a lot of people said that that's why the black people like me because they have been hurt so badly and discriminated against and they actually viewed me as I'm being discriminated against yes they like me they love me because I'm being discriminated against with all these charges they call me Donald Luther King and just like Dr King no listen up I have a dream and in the dream I'm being chased by a giant sandwich that's trying to choke me and then this is the scary part it turns into a salad and I wake up screaming Trump he continued I think that's why the black people are so much on my side now because they see what's happening to me happens to them does that make sense no no no it doesn't make sense also pretty bold for Donald Trump to end any sentence with the phrase does that make sense it's like it's like Dakota Johnson's final line in Madame web was that good but things got truly bizarre when Trump talked about coming up with the name for his social media platform truth social everyone said you'll never get the name truth I said let's try it sir don't bother you're not going to they wanted something with five letters like tweet they said they had all these different names these crazy names that nobody understood and you know likeing was he was he talking to an adviser or an old radiator they wanted to name it Von kadang bang clang clang clang clang clangy Bang Bang Bang on Trump also spoke to a Christian radio group and pledged to protect whatever it is he thinks Christianity is it's very dangerous out there they're doing bad things they want to tear down crosses where they can and cover them up with social justice Flags but no one will be touching the Cross of Christ under the Trump Administration I swear to you that will will never happen no one no one will be touching the cross because as we all know when you touch a cross it burns that's that happens to everyone right then the little girl's head spins around and the demon big strong big strong demon never cried before with tears in his eyes says [Applause] [Laughter] sir Trump also spoke at CPAC the annual conference of furious virgins and while he was there he defended his obvious and continuous gaffs they'll say he rambled he's cognitively impaired no it's really the opposite it's total genius there's no cognitive problem if there was I'd know about it yes yes I'd know yes if I was forgetting things I think I'd remember it somebody write that down because I've already forgotten it total genius he also he also warned about the imaginary dangers of immigration we have languages coming into our country we don't have one instructor in our entire nation that can speak that language these are languages it's the craziest thing they have languages that nobody in this country has ever heard of it's true no it's true there are people in this country speaking languages no one's ever heard of I mean just listen to this guy we got a great show for you tonight my guests will be Arnold Schwarzenegger and comedian Julio Torres and when we come back I answer your kids questions stick around [Applause] [Music] w

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 2,242,368

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: __VX4ugDYy4

Length: 12min 13sec (733 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 27 2024