TROLLAND (AKA TROLLZ) BAD MOVIE REVIEW | Double Toasted

I want you to pay attention to the two girls that you see up on the screen right here Billy could you tell me the color of their hair okay once here's black Guillemots like it's blond I guess are you sure about that you know we got a movie coming out this Friday this movie you know we're talking about movies that were supposed to be released in the theaters but somehow Corona came in and said you I'm telling I'm telling movies to stay in the house too so some of these movies if I run this [ __ ] I run this [ __ ] I run Hollywood now so some of these movies are doing just that they go into other homes they are not going to the theater one of the movies that's gonna be out this Friday we're gonna be celebrating this right now when I review coming up one of the first things that they announced going straight to VOD as something that was supposed to be a huge release is this film right here I'm gonna unite the sixth string by the end of my world tour I'm gonna turn all the trolls into rock zombies oh my god trolls we can find out in a home and it comes out on VOD you know the thing is a lot of people don't realize that this was ripped off from another movie that was out there Oh call trolls man it's all kicked off from that right there and a lot of people haven't heard about it so we want to tell you about this and give this movie the proper credit that is due now before we even start talking about this movie we got to give you a little bit of a background here and let's start with your boy child I was the one that brought the cheese that was a fair job but but yeah man a year before my man's involvement in that fiasco that is known as the legendary fire fest [Music] no refugees living better than me at least they gave me his craps angles for my [ __ ] but before there was that he was he was involved with that dumpster fire there was a big a dumpster fire trollee it's called trolls with a Z so good needed two names who plays a troll who befriends a lonely camp kids it's a shame it's a shame that people it's the same that people couldn't see this before they went to fire festival man we go into a festival by the guy that was it the guy that was in trolls if you got a festival created by that guy that's in troll and you deserve to lose your money and it's funny because troll land was actually a bigger success than five y'all shuttle with the troll this is my second this is my second movie from that that company whose name spells quality decided and the first time the first time that I that I was acquainted with the asylum was with this classic right here homeward now you can probably tell immediately that that is a very shameless ripoff of a movie that you might have just seen hey Dad you look just like I remember now here's the thing that I want to tell you right here with with homeward they had a method with this with Homer what they did was they want to come out they want to make sure that they could cash in before onward before that movie came out and before people would realize that they're full of [ __ ] and so all they had yeah so all they had was the trailer to go by yeah unless it's trailer and the poster the page the trailer in the poster like I said unless Pixar just set up a special screening for the asylum which I highly doubt they did you know are there was this trailer to go by so you know I'm looking at the and I'm looking at this trailer right here and Nate you can see they ripped off as much as they could from that they probably went and looked at the trailer for the first trolls we can't do that we can't rip that all we ain't got none of the resources to do this [ __ ] right here you know thinking about whether we could do this we used up some precious time so now you got the weekend from what they had these mutant frog looking creatures right here in in in in the goddamn box which they say are we gonna make this [ __ ] all colorful a lot of people and we don't call the day Homer it's a terrible movie you know no doubt no doubt about that you saw this the other day homeward is a horrible a horrible feeling man but I gotta tell you I have fun with it I have fun with it so I'm watching down you think you know what man if I could have fun with homework just think how much I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have a blast I'm have a blast watching trolling whoo in all honesty the [ __ ] looks like it looks like animation from a 1992 cd-rom yeah no it's terrible and I told you I lost my I lost my virginity homeward and people say you know what your second time's a lot easier people are wrong people yeah people lied to me about virginity man my sex lesson did not go the way I was told it would be I'm just getting worse I Blair way more the second time people let's go ahead and watch this trailer for trollin and we will be back with our review he makes friends with a human this is great we've got a free morning come on one of that trolls written from Brooklyn come or they don't tell you is that the white kid has cerebral palsy also the thing they don't tell you is that all the characters have cerebral yeah yeah you that that's just that's just the beginning what you come on yo come on wait boys holy the human drive us from our home you all about humans some akan knows that love is when are you moving Billy Oh Billy Oh Billy Billy you don't even know Billy so innocent Giroux I want to prove that humans Ahlan all that bad Tionne t-boz Watkins and Dick Van Dyke I'll pause later running I'm a big man I'm not even show me what my character look like laughs let me let me start out with a with some high praising all right and let me let me go ahead and give some good criticism right here I would say this about asylum that you know as shitty as they are they do try to improve over previous work because compared to troll and compared to troll and homeward looks like Pixar Disney and DreamWorks combined I'm telling ya this is what makes you rethink watching is bad because you're not tell you all the time and I love these bad movies i man I adore this is so funny this [ __ ] here is so it was a struggle it is so ugly it's disturbing everyone just looks like them's pain everyone just looks like they just they're just having constant spasms man muscle spasms you want to shoot all these characters to put them out their misery this [ __ ] isn't mean it he's not touching a goddamned latency that's one of the things with this thing they just they just put all these characters on a green screen and just slap them over and by right like they don't have any interaction with these environments at all you wanna put these trolls out of their misery or you wanna call an exorcist man because they all look like the demonically possessed at some point they you know I like our kids not terrified by this I'm a point eight year old man and I'm horrified by what it's a horror movie that I'm watching they got scenes in here with demonic looking children just bacon eyes where they just they just did just wiggling man just tremoring yeah just did that just ride them just just writhing in pain oh I'm just looking around all that's missing is Hellfire Harlem that's like feed little rabbit demons man is this I mean that's it that their mamas whether you're just in it and they copy and paste stuff out of these characters look at this what are they doing crying eleven I don't know they like ventriloquist dummies you thought kids would love this this house is horrifying and it's worse when you when you see that they copy and pasted you this is nothing like those of me can close those are all just like that like somebody put somebody put me and a booger in a teleportation chamber just watching yourself just writhing in pain it's just that's they don't they don't give them actions they just put twitches in them so there's something moving all the time right you actually might think that you getting into something okay you all right tell it ain't great might probably even good but it might be just passable it ain't gonna be the worst thing you've ever seen because they start out with these drawings they start out with the drawings that kind of stylized like that's not didn't like shitty drawings no but they look like they look stylize they frolic in the forest one with nature why is in the ways of the wood it's like it's like Dick Van Dyke you spit the taffy out your mouth we keep begging for you narrate this old war man was a perfect person for them to follow and you know they tell you it like they tried to do it like a like Shrek you know what they might that saucier opens that the first yeah that makes sense which they might be trying to rip off that's the great point race and those babies look like the the what they were like okay this is what we want the kids in Shrek 3 to look like here's what really gives to you that there's barely 30 minutes of story in this barely 30 minutes of story and this is an hour in 15 minutes of family it's some [ __ ] story about how pros they love to play pranks on humans every year something called prank a Palooza one human knows that trolls exist is a middle-aged man who's a camp camp counselor dude they stretch this [ __ ] out so there's more they just doing [ __ ] you could tell you're just doing [ __ ] just to make this longer for the times that this is that there's nothing going on all you have to do is look at the mistakes in the film all you have to do is just look at all the [ __ ] that they're doing all the things that they didn't care less about it becomes very obvious asylum then give off they're looking at this and saying yeah we know that's messed up approve next yeah you figured they'd skimp on a lot of the fundamentals of animation but you didn't know they would completely give up on lip-syncing altogether from the very beginning we told you what this is from the start we didn't lie to you we didn't try to cover up things we put our worst [ __ ] at the beginning so you know exactly what's going on don't come here asking for your money back you saw this you saw does look like [ __ ] from the very first frame we are barely a minute into the movie they're already showing you we don't give up about lip sync was a POV shot of two people were in the bottom suck no no unless and we at first I said unless there's two months under the table and we see they ain't nobody round there unless there's somebody throwing up boys from the trees or something they did not give a [ __ ] from the beginning and I like the way that Asylum zoomed in on the [ __ ] so they can show you yep they say hey look just in case you didn't you didn't understand let us zoom in on this [ __ ] they could've kept it a white shot oh yeah nah they soon dead on it no we want you to know we don't give a [ __ ] I mean [ __ ] it's listen two minutes into the movie we already see the the camp counselor already to see this dude olaf or whatever his name is yeah olaf we again they trying to ride off disney with these names when they came and make the movie but you know we already see Olaf's mustache sinking into his face irresistible that's two minutes into the movie not only do they not care about lip sync not only that I care about clipping then you give up less about continuity I want you to pay attention to the two girls that you see up on the screen right here Billy could you tell me the color of their hair okay once here's black Gilman looks like it's blonde I guess are you sure about that Billy yeah alright Billy are you are you sure [Laughter] I just saw two blackheads he's run away man today what I'm running like she got a stick up and she got a piss leave this [ __ ] legs turn on your head though it was like clearly just rewound yeah did you see that Martin yes just in case you thought that yes people people trust your eyes you did see a dirty blonde in a black haired chick and poof with the mat with the power of trade magic take a [ __ ] there they go the power of troll magic was that you're supposed to appear to I don't know I told you approve get this [ __ ] out of here I see all the mistakes I don't give a the movies supposed to be out tonight what we got is what we working with don't come back in here telling me about mistakes yeah but but but but the movies not finished rendering I don't give up keep it that [ __ ] out let's go it's so often that's my complaint with these movies that they didn't spend time enough time rendering but they spend no time rendering they spent none not even on the table with this movie no no people when you watch you know when you watch it behind the scenes of the making of a Pixar movie of a Disney movie a CGI animated movie when they show you the behind the scenes and they say yeah this is like our second pass at rendering that is that last pass that aside that's their final pass first list that's the that is the last pass over the asylum that is the what is what is the the first phase of rendering over at Pixar is the complete product over at Asylum [Laughter] hey should I just saw that evil every burst it did not even notice that didn't notice that man yeah you would think that okay those are those are side characters right whatever right ain't nobody really paying attention you know anything you know it's probably like a six-year-old watching his name ain't paying attention to the side characters ain't attention to continuity like that but you would think that when they get to their main characters with ja Rule yeah you would think when they get to the main characters that they would do better no no no he'll know it's time for that no no they put a spotlight on it to show you how bad it is those side caters are kind of running away a little bit you know you get like kind of medium shots and five shots no man these main characters they put the camera right up their faces and show you just how bad this [ __ ] is and you would think that you would think then you probably this Protestants some logic to this like ja Rule I tell you man ja Rule he came in this and I'm here strictly for I'm here strictly for checking my cheese sandwich that's all I'm here for few sandwiches somehow got a paper cheese sauce I'm I'm here to get paid a woman I want my five dollars he's here to get paid man so he don't give a [ __ ] so you would think that cuz ja Rule ain't giving him no emotion at all really man oh yeah yeah you know I don't think he's that ya ain't saying he's the best action of I was then say you know ain't the best act in the world but goddamn he ain't giving him no emotion at all so you know I imagine animator is saying well you know what if he ain't giving me nothing that's what you don't get ya yes well I wanted to talk to you about that lift and touch each other once smiling yeah I want to talk to you out there oh yeah oh boy them lives did not come together to enunciate at all yes well I wanted to talk to you about Christ let alone the eyes yeah oh yeah come on y'all how how much animation do you have to do to make the lips touch each other to make a B sound God a man yeah it would be easy to blame ja rule for this man and we will because just what you do with ja Rule you just blame on man hey MA oh yeah the way you troll the way you roll you know it'll be easy to sit back and blame ja Rule because that's what you do you know your table Ja Rule's na my fault double your fault but here's the thing man they got your boy Dick Van Dyke Ennis and Dick Van Dyke you could see him right there he's acting his ass up that is eager just to leave the house look at ya I told you guys my time was coming this is your job ah he just escaped from the hole and I'll never find me but it'd be easy to blame Shiro but Dick Van Dyke is acting his ass off man and the most that they could give him is this monstrosity no I know the more they do is give him this monstrosity right here trolls of the Oswego Warren another summer is winding down and just like the traveling birds the humans will soon depart far even's jabiru like dad he looks shitty than I do god damn I'm glad I ain't all in one he's also looked at him like wow now that's active forget just aspire to be that boy I want you to see this thing is in so much pain it's trying to do you know is he's trying to smile at you no but every time it does it just it just goes back to a frown I want you to know this time of yours it just hurts it hurts for him to move his mouth look at just just in pain hey you wanna break the humans air yeah the helmets hang on there's one point that they just gave up on this character right here and it becomes torrefied there's a point where here this this character his eyes rolled to the back of his head and they never returned then your dangers are close to being confined of the warrant like Jesus Christ he just this character just shot heroin do you see oh yes that's some push when the animators don't give a but here the character stop giving it balls they were barely there to begin with but they never come back they never come back I thought you exaggerated it's horrible oh just get approved this this is sad because you got Dick Van Dyke man Dick Van Dyke who can act big Dick Van Dyke who comes 100 percent gonna need the money don't need them don't just need the money and this is a man that has he's worked with the greatest animation studio in the world yeah he's worked he's worked with Walt Disney himself and now and that is fools working with the worst animation company in the world you know what everybody gets for their accident and their problems you look at the other trolls like the acting in the in the characters I'm not that bad like they're not great but like this character right here the the sister troll of ja Rule right here she ain't that bad and they even got like a voice actor look sheen nobodies TLC from TLC t-boz if you [Laughter] [Laughter] in context you got two people here like trying to do something Dick Van Dyke in t-boz TV first of all I think that thing but you got to work with she she wants to be the head prank [ __ ] engine and they figured that humans is like are not worth at the time so although all they're worth doing is playing jokes on they they know that their souls but it's some kind of twisted logic of if we don't prank humans then they'll kill us welcome to troll and we gotta get them first but if you're let's pranking them then they make I'm gonna kill you more exactly that's the whole thing that got just it it's like man it's almost like the Middle East is almost like Israel and the Palestinians fighting each other this up is trolls and humans like this this a cycle you know who knows but but but the t-boz in is she she's not bad but man that what they do to a character they just don't give up banana mating that cared like these K these these designs they couldn't but like television they be okay if you animated them right yeah but yeah what is that what is Asylum ever done that they got a part here where uh t-boz character that says she's gonna go to sleep and she lays back and Martin is right they ain't got no eyelids when she lays back and them eyes don't close and for some reason our hand just starts having a seizure Oh totally taken that the human slept in tents and all we're on the lookout you know oh my god Martin you nailed it you nailed it because that is exactly like one of those cd-rom games I used to play yeah she got back up did you see this [ __ ] like that she fell asleep right hand just woke up because she hops back up it's like she just got so be sleep I don't know what's wrong she she fell asleep and got the Holy Spirit the humans trapped in tension and all we're on the lookout had their heads on Hank got that evil [ __ ] [ __ ] going on and then there's a point where for the rest of the film she just grows two eyebrows since you've been saving it up since the last prank Palooza when you didn't compete at all no I did enjoy the show and the [ __ ] keeps going like once that happens like the eyeballs that disappeared yeah I brought those eyebrows State when you trick that kid in and getting lost last year the entire camp even doing a goddamn thing Sean focus on his mouth well I get her eyebrows moving from that that dramatic reading that ja Rule is there points where this miss many scenes were like the kids hands just they just turn the claws like they just like the gun arthritis or something no hands just permanently formed in the claws and when they start forming and claws Mandy with me start putting them in certain spots it just looks like the kids are just jacking off invisible dicks right here this one right here here's his hand just just sank into his dig hey nerd doing it so hard he just went to way into his dick hey nerd you talking to bugs again nobody's next to nobody nobody oh and don't let them have to pick up anything Oh a little bit yeah man and it's funny because that can't believe that they got right there it's so weird because the camp bully's a sideman over here the camp bully sidekick are his history with the girls yeah what the boss is just a big old toddler yep it looks like a baby he's not even the same like sighs plain ism no it looks like a tie look at his head this is a baby head but giving an experiment went wrong maybe that kid seems like a toddler because of who they have doing doing the voice hey there kid seems like a toddler because they got a grown-ass man doing the voice of the the main character Aiden you don't have any friends created my mom and dad wanted me to go to camp because you're 30 yo asked me to be at the house that's why because I just turned 40 yeah yeah that's that I do so a Jerry O'Connell man didn't even try to make him sound like a kid then pitch shift that thing anything method yeah well you know my mom wanted me to get out the house yeah cuz you're 35 years old he got a job there mom there's one moment in here it was like a sigh relief man there's one moment in here with ja Rule just stops moving man he just quits thank God he's dead and he's like yeah thank God man you know what it's taught he stops moving doesn't look it doesn't doesn't look normal but and leacy doesn't like he's in pain or is not disturbing like it was before since I saw you sketching the Dragonfly you didn't have your eyes glued to one of those machines like everyone else you were different you would like me you see nature hey I ain't nobody's so what's up with these extreme closer I don't know man you were different you would like me you see me it's just a party and the kids like yeah yeah but yeah II would a coke give you a bump or something yeah yeah cool story bro but he scored me some coke what else you were different really was my story man dude Jesus gave you 20 bucks man come on [ __ ] life story this this [ __ ] I just like thank God he's just not moving thank you I'll take that [ __ ] man yes true oh thank god boy I want y'all look at this box right here this box right here is more colorful then we can see what these trolls you know the designs might be just slightly better but right behind ja Rule trolls feet right here you see this glorious colorful trollin trollin trollin and when you look at the movie you find out where these troll lives and you see that they don't live number this dirty-ass cave blowing mushrooms here but check out the ridge yeah you know hey I got a [ __ ] it's a cave they live in a dirty dingy as cave there's a scene they talk about they build this [ __ ] up - boy they talking about hey we're gonna go see we're gonna go see the globe caps man and low caps and low caps are amazing like okay well maybe we're gonna go see the you know the nice mushroom village that they got because the glow caps are the [ __ ] ooh glow caps are we gonna see the glow caps and what is a glow cap you'll see you'll love it well the glow caps Oh Mike I see the background oh yeah but wait a minute what you'll see the glow caps were these wonderful glow caps I got okay glow caps are just too light balls behind this man all right crow leggo come over - come on now oh yeah we coming already hope you like light bulbs sure you do - go keV sike yeah [ __ ] you like the glow caps not too bad I got your money already yeah right thank you Martin Martin hit it right on the head man these characters hands are so gnarled and so clawed that they can't even pick up [ __ ] so they ain't got any government hey pick up a goddamn thing ain't pick up of good things so when they tried it when you go over there reach for something they can hold it's old [ __ ] just floats next to the hand when they pick it up they're about the most Oh movements yeah man like man these characters can't even they can't even stand still and be animated right they can't even animate standing still they can't animate people just doing basic functions so don't ask them to do no complicated asked animations here don't ask them dunno complicated functions over here there's a chick that's supposed to be sawing the the t-bars character she supposed to be sawing a totem pole oh no I used the term sewing a sawing I use the term saw she might gonna be slowing I used the term sawing very loosely nice try they'll all be down at the lake with a big canoe racing if she saw it as she spackle him growling anybody's got the DD continuous sound of a saw going of course they said Anna made Ned you better let this sound effect do all the work ash it's more like she's giving a total polish a little kid moving around not talking not talking you see there Martin yo yeah they'll all be down at the lake for the big canoe racing [ __ ] he's almost like with something tell her that that's not sawing she was talking about I'm gonna tell how lazy this [ __ ] is she was talking about saw in the tower but they didn't want to animate that [ __ ] with her going to four legs on this they just put a totem pole ran a random totem pole that's the first time I learned about the totem pole right now [ __ ] wasn't there yeah it wasn't so you don't get to see any kind of establishing shot talk about a totem pole and I had no idea what they were talking about total Paul over there there this is the MVP of you in this movie right here this is the ultimate you witnessed in this film right here so there's a there's the point where character a character supposed to pour some water in the anime's if that I'm not animated what are you doing thanking you you the one getting pranked [Laughter] so what did you people one more time he's probably poor water what are you doing cranking again you better let the sound effect do the work I went to the same diner and got that water with Tyler Perry with that is the biggest you in the movie that is but this this movie is terrifying and they say the most terrifying part for last they said if a kid if you can make it through this if the kid can get through this whole thing you thank you brave and [ __ ] okay they saved the most terrifying image for less they want to make sure they left these kids with nightmares Bigfoot's still out there come on even I don't believe in Bigfoot up in this [ __ ] you slide looks like wait now who is this now oh wait they made a Bigfoot joke that's supposed to be big look like The Creature from the Black Legion try to make that that [ __ ] was like a werewolf or Sun they didn't try to make this [ __ ] whimsical whatsoever man it's like a baboon from the island of dr. Moreau shreds one the goddamn Morlocks from lower the range they didn't try to make that [ __ ] cute a wizard girl uh child friendly at all thought I was some kind of gorilla man [Laughter] you know you got that question and then he walks off and it phase the black and that's [ __ ] just fades out man they do that joke they talk about Bigfoot Bigfoot looks all hurt like me yeah hope the needy walks off the blender he's got he got see you got attitude he walk it off oh yeah got it a little swag oh that's funny mom ain't nobody gorilla man ja Rule in and Dick Van Dyke oh yeah we dear cousin [Music]

Channel: Double Toasted

Views: 125,449

Keywords: TROLLAND (AKA TROLLZ) BAD MOVIE REVIEW | Double Toasted, trolland trailer, trolland full movie, trolls movie full, trolls movie clips, ja rule fyre festival, ja rule fyre festival documentary, ja rule trollz, ja rule trolland, bad movie reviews, bad movies, bad movie review, bad movie, funny movie reviews, funny bad movies, funny movie review, movie reviews, funny review, movie review, funny reviews, reviews, Trollz

Id: RGUprQbBHqs

Length: 39min 28sec (2368 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 08 2020