Triforce! #245 - The Saddest Kazoo in the World

foreign [Music] welcome back to Triforce oh we are back welcome sips welcome thanks period hello thanks so much everyone is listening hope everything's going amazing oh yeah where you are I hope all of your cupboards are filled uh with with food and uh your wardrobes are filled with with clothes yeah well I mean for the most part yes okay unconventional uh wishes but but yeah I'm just I just want everyone to be cozy and happy yeah thanks for that thanks for uh you're welcome thanks for looking out for us that's real real nice of you that's my job it's real nice I'm the I'm I'm younger than you guys but I do sometimes feel like um elderly mother you know make sure that you know they're they're they've they're not gonna fall over or you know they're not too cold you think we're likely to fall over intriguingly I did almost fall over in the shower today really yeah yes that's a nasty one if it happens it is I went to step in it was that moment when you're you're stepping from the floor into the shower so you have one foot in the shower and one foot on the floor and my foot that was going in the shower just went and went flying and luckily I was able to catch myself but I'm thinking crikey how much longer will I be able to catch myself and how much time is exactly what happened to me just now on the way you almost fell over yeah Frosty yeah and I just my foot just went straight out and I was like doing that thing where you were like dancing uh following outside what can you do but flax if you're falling in the shower or thinking about falling in the shower again you might need to get one of those cords like those First Alert chords yeah you can pull you know like I fall in and I can't get up that one of those ones what I could do is just tie a long piece of string to Mrs F's ankle when I go downstairs to the shower and if there's a problem I'll just tug on it because she's she's working from home so I could just tie a piece of thread to her so I was walking down the Park Street with my parents the other day Okay weekend it's obviously cold very frosty yeah and I'm walking side by side with my mother and um and we're having just chatting about stuff you know and she um she's she must be coming up to 70. I'm not I shouldn't really be saying that but she's she's getting on right right um but she's quite she's quite fit she's quite fine it's fine she's she's she's Butch no no but here's I'll tell you what so I always teach you your mom to be that one from Orange is the New Black the one that does herself with the screwdriver you know she's got like the crew cut and stuff is that what your mom looks like uh not quite no no she's not she's she's got um she's very sexually charged she more like crazy eyes is it crazy eyes like crazy eyes yeah right you're right right oh by the way Chris I always thought that Crazy Eyes must have been modeled on like Old Dirty Bastard did you think that yeah a little bit yeah yeah sorry so we're walking down past three and um and there's like this massive one of those metal like um patches you know in the in the pavement right which you mean a manhole manhole but like it's a big rectangular one anyway my whole sorry person hole Yeah steps on this thing and just slip straight out and like onto her butt right right that's beautiful great beautiful butt yeah okay um and I'm like oh God are you okay but because what but she actually fell like kind of with one leg under her so like one leg went out but one leg went down so she's sort of half fell into like the hockey goalie splits yeah like like kind of like yeah not like not like um it wasn't like directly back she didn't fall backwards she sort of felt like directly down right and they're like like kind of caught herself under her other leg anyway uh she was like like flat on the floor and because she just like from my point of view just gonna jump until it disappeared I turned around and I was like oh are you okay okay so I was sort of just checking that she wasn't like hurt like I hadn't broken her ankle or like wasn't actually like because she was obviously dazed right um and two people behind us okay we're walking down were they just filming it for a tick tock no they didn't skip a beat right they I don't even know who it was they just grabbed my mother yeah one on each shoulder and pulled her to her feet I just plonked her back down on her feet okay and then they walked straight on and it was so quick that it happened okay [Laughter] the other day I saw Lewis and his mother walking down the street well here you go bozo I'm unsubscribing because you didn't help your mom up it'll be something like that right you said he couldn't help her up because it was a tax issue [ __ ] oh man oh man speaking of old uh mailbag references and stuff I have a I have an update um do you remember um listeners I hope you do too um a lad uh who was in prison they emailed us uh he was from prison yes to pick your interest and remind you he said he mentioned having an Xbox and he told us about the limits on the various games that you could have yes yeah so here's an update from him I'm just going to read this verbatim I am still in prison which I think is a great opening to an email well I mean I'm very sorry yes but it's just what he just said I am still in prison I think that's that's how you open an email and I have answers to the questions you asked in the order you asked them I've kept it as short as I could so these are our questions I don't remember asking these questions but these are the ones we asked did you have a trial was one of the questions we asked no I did what I was accused of so I pled guilty all right I'm like unlike in the US the UK doesn't have plea bargaining where lawyers decide between them what the ultimate charge and sentence should be right here here in the UK the earlier youth go guilty the more time you save the courts and the victims so the judges will apply a discount to your sentence so this guy got 33 off his sentence as he went guilty as early as possible right and he said that there's no time off for good behavior in the UK that's right uh is it the done thing to talk to other inmates about what they're in for everyone talks about what they're in for unlike what you see on TV most people will openly admit their guilt in prison those in for crimes that would get them attacked get housed in VP in a VP Wing which is a vulnerable person right referred to as the non-swing yes VPS end up getting attacked there anyway as even on a non-swing there's a hierarchy most attacks I've seen aren't offense related but come from what he calls the three d's death drugs and disrespect yes right yeah you have to be a restaurant respect yeah and you cannot be in debt and you cannot do drugs either indeed given that you're in an open prison is there any violence and are there still a few Nutters about he says there's very little violence in open prisons compared to closed prisons enclosed I would witness fights almost every day I've seen multiple juggings they are not fun no most most people in open conditions don't want to lose being able to see their families want them once a month so they behave that said people do get sent back to closed conditions if they break the rules but 90 of the time is because they've been caught with Contraband right right and what's that mobile phone drugs drugs stuff you're not allowed to have yeah I'm thinking of all the stuff you find on the prisoners in uh in prison architect yes um yeah all those things all the contractors a syringe a dagger a hammer a vial of poison yeah Violet poison how do you think I think this must have been I'm gonna guess this was Lewis's question how do you think wearing a kimono full-time would go down for you personally he says unfortunately there's a policy that dictates what you're allowed to wear and kimonos are on the banned list right so alongside things like football shirts and clothes that would let you appear as if you're an officer for example a white white shirt black trousers and so no kimonos for us well I think the kimono would be unfair because like if you're talking about hierarchies and stuff as well I figure whoever's wearing the kimono has the balls to wear the kimono in the first place so they must be pretty high up and in church most I mean they're pretty it's a pretty open garment so you would definitely it is like a villain garment as well though right it is a little villainous you are you are a pretty much announcing to the world that you are a villain because you're wearing the kimono and in jail maybe people who see that as like the ultimate Flex you know indeed yeah so that's probably why they had to be banned it makes sense honestly I think do you get to choose what to wear you have to wear prison issue clothes if you're on basic which is the behavioral categories or basic standard and enhanced but if you're standard or enhanced you can wear clothes you brought in with you or that you've purchased through a prison clothes supplier tracksuits and trainers are prison currency in closed conditions not so much in open right what country are you in and what level of prison I'm in England in a dcat open prison prison categories go from double A which is the most violent and publicly recognizable criminals to a which is high security B which is local dispersal and Vermont prisoners and C is the majority of prisoners and D is open condition so he's in a Decap right what jobs are you forced to do no one is forced to work but if you want to maintain enhanced status and get the most benefits like being allowed in Xbox 360 you need to be employed in open editions you're able to work outside of the prison in manual labor or production line jobs a friend of mine works in a doc processing Factory for example wow wages for in-prison jobs like cleaners and education orderly orderlies are 20 pounds a week yeah it's not a lot no smokes right it's nothing external jobs are paid at national minimum wage but are taxed heavily right and what is the food like oh my God food is much better in open conditions than it is enclosed most people enclosed get food poisoning and I don't miss the questionable rice puddings or rat droppings in the spaghetti twice in one week most prison kitchen budgets are tiny they get less than two pounds per prisoner per day so you have three meals to cover three meals uh that's shocking that's absolutely sure that's pretty shocking but thank you uh for the Mr Mr decaf prisoner I'm not gonna say your name I can't remember if they did last time I'm going to avoid it just there just in case yeah but no if we have any more questions uh you know we should shout them out too we can shout out man it's interesting stuff isn't it it is fascinating and terrifying it's terrifying yeah I would never want to go to to jail and luckily I I don't regularly break the law either and uh it's not uh it's legal tax avoidance where I live okay it's not uh against the law so don't even think about coming at me with that one and there's no way I'm going to jail and if I'm going to jail put me in one of those open ones they sound a little bit better than the other ones yeah actually that's a question can you do can you ever just go straight to open which I always send you to dcat oh to see cat or somewhere else see how you are and then let you out if you're if you're good that's one question I don't know actually I know in America they have like put together another list of questions maybe this can be a regular thing we have so many prison questions you know I mean the dude's got a lot of time on his hands so we can just he does yeah yeah we put the questions together you got like a pad prison pen pal yeah yeah I'm gonna marry you yeah because I'm so intrigued by this and actually the whole thing just really does like a bad boy I've got to say I love a bad boy me too [Music] um a good update great update thank you very much I thought that would be good I wanted to wanted to read that yeah no it's interesting I hadn't thought about it honestly since the last time but when you mentioned it I was like yeah this is something I I could definitely listen to for five minutes so thank you very much good thanks for that it was it's good that was really nice so my mum was fine by the way um she does yoga she's probably familiar with those moves yeah I think she honestly if I'd Fallen I think I probably would have been more injured than she was yeah um from falling over on the ground yeah I felt like we went ice skating a few years ago and I I had I used to ice skate a lot when I was a young a young man right um go to the ice rink anyone in Bournemouth that's old will remember the old ice drinking Bournemouth I thought you were going to say that you if anyone who's older remember seeing me at the ice rink there I was every weekend I'd go down there with her it's him yeah it was on Westover Road in uh in Bournemouth um they spoke about turning it into a mega nightclub for a long time but it's just been empty for [ __ ] decades as far as I can tell if they've done something with it go ahead and let me know but um I go ice skating all the time and there would be a point where everyone you know the way if you go to the ice rink everybody's just skating around in a circle and holding hands and chatting it was mainly a way for people to flirt with each other and for people to go somewhere on a date and all the rest right and for the youngest of us it was just a chance to skate around because it was it was fun yeah sure and they would have a period every sort of hour where it was like fast people only on the ice so all the young Lads would just [ __ ] go absolutely as fast as they could because obviously when the ice is busy you can't really build up ahead of steam you you have to escape at the pace of everybody else otherwise it's gonna be an accident so they would put on some some dance music change the lighting a bit and you'd Zoom around as fast as you could I used to love that I rarely fell over I really liked ice skating but we went a couple of years ago maybe four years ago yeah one minute on the ice and I had a massive fall and I came down so hard on my back I felt awful and the kids were like oh my god daddy fell over you lost your mojo nice it's dangerous I just hadn't done it in such a long time yeah it was so bad but oh my God it [ __ ] hurts I'd forgotten how hard you come down on the ice I literally did the cartoon Prattville where I went up in the air a bit and then came back down it was [ __ ] horrible yeah you kicked your legs out and we're like yeah [ __ ] yeah I I I could I could see that exact [ __ ] happening as well to me like I I went ice skating occasionally and I I think if I went now I would just be so scared I'd be like one of those people you see like leaned over like with your hands like each other like touched the ice you know like like cramped over like a gorilla like that that crouching arms out maneuver as well on that and the ice skates don't you yeah the penguin for little kids to hold on to it's like a little penguin it's about it comes up to it for us it'll come up to about just above our knees I guess but for little kids it's just the right height and it's like a big plastic penguin with ice skates That's Heavy and they hold on to it and shuffle along to get used to the idea I think that was quite good it kind of reminded me of um my uh Mike you wouldn't see that at a hockey game though would you yeah I mean the goalie is coming out here with uh no support penguin he's a transfer from soccer is so steady on the ice yeah um when my kids obviously they can both ride a bike but my youngest just wasn't taking to it I couldn't figure it out um but the eldest she she sort of took to a little better I mean my youngest is a bit more cautious um and so she wasn't willing to just push off and go for it was like let's go for it um I think those little balance spikes that you can get kids which is just a bike yeah which is like no motor at all it's just a wooden bike or even just I guess it's not always just wooden but I've only seen the wooden ones you just go along with it with your legs you just push yourself along but it gets them used to the idea of steering and balancing sure yeah and being on a bike so I took her to these bike lessons it was a one-time lesson one lesson guaranteed success right and we went I dropped her off a couple of hours later come back she's riding the bike around with all these other kids who couldn't do it either success wow all your money back my uh well not my youngest anymore but my my middle daughter when she was learning how to ride her bike we thought oh we're gonna have to get our training wheels and stuff like that she just hopped on her bike and went like because she's just trying to keep up with my son all the time right right yeah yeah he was he was already like pretty good at riding his bike so she just hopped on hers and she was just like yeah let's go we didn't have to teach her nothing she just she's just ready to go yeah no training wheels nothing I watched some of this guy's lesson the main thing is to get and some of the kids there were quite old kids they were like 11 12 and they just clearly just like embarrassed with all these old five and six year olds but yeah you know fair play too you've got to learn yeah well this is the same thing going skiing though right like even when I was like a teenager you know learning to snowboard or ski there were literally four-year-olds running rings around me and it made and I was like tottering along like an idiot imagine what it feels like now to learn to ski at like 40. and the problems of the one percent it's crazy I know no polo horse can you imagine there was a 12 year old chap they're laughing at me my face of that evening quite embarrassing we did have a laugh about it later but so I think tip one is is get the kid on the bike just just pushing themselves along with their legs get them used to just moving the bike and then just letting them Coast a little bit and balance it without any pedaling like no pedaling just getting used to bouncing they went round and round and circle like that for ages and once they get bored of doing that and it feels like second nature then you can start with the pedaling and stuff I thought it was it was interesting anyway no um I had nothing more to say no he was done he just wanted to he just wanted to to fit in there that he's skiing before I reckon she'd be good at skiing my mum she'd be she'd pick it up first how old can you imagine the embarrassment of a 60 plus year old woman having a tumble [Laughter] how old is your mom now she's got she's she's got to be getting on a little bit right she sure yeah she's quite old yeah she's I don't know 31. 31 already man where does time go it's crazy exciting stuff my uh my middle daughter who has the uh who was uh was good uh at riding uh her bike from uh from the get-go has been off school she's got a little bit of impetigo you ever had ever had an outbreak of that before that's the thing you get like on your neck and stuff like it's just like a it's like a little skin uh yeah but it is it can get uh there's degrees of it yeah yeah it's not like super threatening it's just uh contagious isn't it it's very contagious yeah when it's uh when it's going when it's just starting out but um well I mean otherwise it's it's okay A buddy of mine had that my friend Lee had that um impetigo a few years ago we tease them about it a lot of course yeah of course yeah it's just one of those things sounds like a sounds like a thing that vampires would have yeah well they look a little bit I mean it's it's weird because when you first uh when when you get it it's it's not too bad like there's like a couple of little swords or whatever but then um as it's getting better it looks worse you know like it it starts to it starts to get all like dry and crusty but like the sores just look bigger yeah it's really weird yeah but yeah it can spread around and stuff too I think she had it like on the back of her arm but because she was scratching it and then touching her face and stuff it's just it's everywhere it's I don't know it sounds gross I thought it was it's great I thought it was pretty gross like uh oh God I thought it was like more like one of those like things that is like a blood disease that no no it looks like that it looks like eczema like it just looks like really bad yeah it was infectious it's a bit infectious yeah if you if you uh if you had like a like a graze on you and uh and you were in contact with uh my daughter for some reason uh you would probably get it you know it's a it is it's pretty it's it's pretty contagious but luckily none of us have gotten it because we're not covered in and I recommend anyone listening to this does not look up because the the skeletons are gross it's nasty yeah my daughter's is is like a milder case it's not as nasty but yeah if you look it up but there's like this is the kind of [ __ ] you'll have to deal with regular wheels and [ __ ] like that yeah it's pretty gross [ __ ] you know what else has happened in your lives this week anything interesting the baby is like on the verge of actually talking lots of like babbling baby babbling you know ready to go like loud uh you know like you know mama mama stuff so yeah she's just like on by Lady Gaga yeah she'll be she'll be coming downstairs uh so while she's not actually walking down the stairs yet thank God but uh at some point she'll be coming down she'll be like Mommy can I please have you know what I mean like uh be fully fully talking yeah asking for stuff and whatever and then we'll have three people asking for stuff all the damn time so looking forward to that that's the oh wow what do you think what do you think uh her first word will be what were the first words of your other kids by the way it's almost always it's always Dada yeah it's the easiest thing for them to say yeah right so that's technically I suppose technically that's their first but even though yeah it's it's like babbling that you can make out and believe that it's something in other languages is Dada always the first thing it probably is yeah I think so and I think that's the reason and Mama I think that's the reason why that it's called that um maybe yeah yeah yeah I think that's because we also say can you say dada and can you say mama like I say you know those are the kind of things you say to to babies yeah and I wonder if they pick that up so I wonder if you're like are Chinese babies saying Dada or are they saying something yeah I think they probably are yeah if you've got a different uh different language there let us know I'm intrigued she's still getting emails about the whole which chromosome boldness is inherited on and there is no consensus all right none I'm getting it from all angles and none of them agree with each other so I'm just so another thing another thing she says a lot is yeah she says yeah so like you'll say hey do you want to put your coat on you want to go in the car yeah yeah so it's pretty cool it's so funny it's funny yeah it's a great when they do a thing where they go yeah yeah they start going really like they go crazy with it she goes like all high-pitched yeah she was uh we took a video of her she she wasn't uh she wasn't paying attention to any of us in the room at the time so she was just in her own little world she was laying on the couch and she had a book but she was like pretending to read it but it was upside down but she was like reading it out loud using the only words she has so she was like she searched the page and started doing it again it was really good [Music] it's like a little copy a copy bot isn't it yeah obviously she can't she can't uh she can't talk to you but she she'll point at stuff that she wants she understands everything that you say like it's insane like how how how much she can understand without actually being able to just to speak or or ask for anything just watch us all day right like their life is watching it's weird it really is incredible I mean we've had other kids so like it this shouldn't be like uh as much of a revelation but it it it never ceases to amaze me like yeah it is really incredible to watch uh a baby start to uh to develop into like you know a toddler and then uh and then into like a small kid or whatever I even like with my 11 year old now well I'm sure Flex you can you can relate to this yeah having uh having having two two kids around that age or like a little bit older yeah this kind of stuff that he's coming up with it now and the the levels of SAS are just like awful charts man it's unbelievable it's just crazy like you asked it like he'll sarcastically reply to things now it's like what oh yeah hell I mean they're making fun of us now yeah uh the other day you know you know the the when people say it it do be busting yeah that this pizza would be busting yeah so uh Mrs F said bustling by mistake right and she also said Bustin so the kids say that to her all the time so they're making fun of her lack of skills I may have spoken about this last week no I don't think you have actually this is all new to me I don't know so now they they put on a fake mum mum voice they're like oh this pizza be bustling and like making fun of her oh my God like that yeah they're brutal Jesus you know what we we all all three of us got into trouble does that make your wife sag that's another thing that they are saying nowadays as well right I hate Sage man I [ __ ] hate that are they is she mad or sad they don't say sage they say POG a lot but yeah they didn't say they say pug yeah um so Mrs F went away last weekend with her mates uh they had like a mum's weekend away right uh which was great and it was just us now on Saturday morning being being tweak in the mites my girls go horse riding right they do horse riding on a Saturday um and it means getting up [ __ ] early on a Saturday to get them out for it Friday evening Mrs F has already left she's away the kids are grizzling about having a go the next day right because it's [ __ ] cold and wet all the rest of it and I was like if you guys don't want to go let me know and they're like we don't want to go right I was like okay I said the thing is we cannot Tell mummy no you haven't gone we have to maintain ourselves and they were like we can do that of course within two days horse riding did you no we didn't no they could just sat around and drank coke and ate chocolate all day did you yes we did yeah that is exactly what we did um but so it was uh yeah Mrs F just rumbled us and she texted me on well she WhatsApp me I'm [ __ ] furious with you blah blah blah I was like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] my youngest comes home from school and she's got she looks me and she goes she knows I was like I knows that she knows and we were just like what are we gonna do she's like did you apologize Isaac of course and both the kids were like what's Mommy angry with you I was like yeah she was very accurate but then they were like I'm so sorry that I was like you have to live in a new house now yes I'm gonna have to I'm sorry I'm sorry your life this is unbelievable unprecedented they were apologizing to me for letting me down with their lying and I was like kids I'm the responsible adult here I'm I'm meant to be I let you down so I apologize to you for putting you in this situation but they're like no it was like a we were all in on it I was like I know I felt like we bonded but at the same time we bonded about all collectively doing a really stupid shitty thing are you guys at the point now where you can kind of like joke about it like has no no you can't be like oh look at that time we didn't go horse riding I can't remember okay it's nice when you get to that point though where you can you bonded yeah it feels like they almost like um you took one for them right I think they respect you more now that you said they they didn't have to go horse riding oh yeah you feel like maybe more more respect how long it will last no they just know that I'm a soft touch like they both give me the puppy dog eyes and they know how to oh please Daddy don't make us go out in the cold and I'm just like okay I won't make you yeah cause I'm just a big softy but Mrs f is like you're going oh well for me it's not even being a I I I I get I like I'm I I kind of feel that role in the house as well but it's not even me being a softy it's me being lazy like oh what's this you don't want to go horse riding oh okay yeah no I mean I don't want to drive you there either so uh for sure because it would mean getting up at seven in the morning but equally you know they really didn't want to go no so we're all United none of us wanted them to go but um and the other thing is like Mrs f is like make sure you use that uh Quince or whatever what is it called corn mints to make some Bolognese while I'm away and we're like we will and then we as soon as she's out of the door it's in the bin and we get a pizza coordinates using the incident without expressvpn is like leaving your laptop out of the coffee shop while you run to the bathroom most of the time you're probably fine what if one day someone what if it comes what if it is horrendous diarrhea and you're in there for a lot longer than you planned yeah you come back someone's emailed terrible things to you yeah all that kind of stuff yeah they've looked at all your details exactly so every time you connect to an unencrypted Network in a in a hotel airport you know or a coffee shop you could you're giving away your data yeah and it could it could people could hack being sold protect yourself by using a VPN uh I use a VPN at home on my computer on my phone you can get it on your TV you can you can change your country and access different different regions it doesn't take much technical knowledge for someone to get your data and your isps will also be using that so keep your privacy and protect yourself with expressvpn today keep it secret keep it safe expressions.com Triforce expresvpn.com to get extra three months free oh my God uh if you if you go to expressvpn.com Trifles and yeah I use it I like it it works fast I don't even notice it's on it boots up automatically I recommend expressvpn uh all right everyone please support that especiallyfeed.com Triforce on with the show so Sam's put together some um news for me uh or for us yeah please first thing on the list Nvidia broadcast right streaming software has updated now and there's an option where oh the eye contact thing make eye contact directly with the camera even if you're looking elsewhere oh my God man what that's gonna that's a game changer it is astonishing so you can look around so the idea is it's supposed to be for if you're like reading off a script on the other monitor or you're like um you know it's basically to try and like keep your eyes in the same place rather than be obvious that you're really I noticed that as well like if I'm watching the news or whatever I can see them not quite looking at me you know what I mean like they're not quite looking at retailers you're so cute exactly yeah well actually those things are fascinating we had one on the shoot recently what they have is they actually have the camera lens um it's like it's like one of those trick Disney mirror things where the mirror the words are in front of the camera lens but the camera can't see them right right so the camera is shooting through a screen where the words are yes amazing um so yeah so that way you are directly looking and your eyes should only go to the left and right of the camera lens rather than like above or below or to the left or to the right it's obviously really clever but but yeah like deep faking is the the next solution uh the next best solution to that if you're a YouTuber and you want or a YouTuber and you want to make an apology video if you're a YouTuber you don't even need it because obviously your eyes are just deep faked already right but um big drama in the tarkov community recently that resulted in uh in a lad having to do an apology video yeah yeah it was a really really lousy apology video really yeah it was funny but I think for now people would be would be able to see it and I I guess it's it's for professional use but I thought that was interesting news um Michael Bay in oh I heard about this is is facing charges in Italy for murdering a pigeon um or like killing a pigeon while filming a movie I only saw the headline because I don't like Michael Bay so I didn't read it but I saw that he killed a pigeon I was facing charges do you know anything about the circumstances did he like it or The Story Goes that while they were filming someone using a dolly which is the things that move the cameras around yeah yeah actually hit and killed a homing pigeon right okay so the evidence of this is a Paparazzi who's responsible for that is it the key on the floor or is it the grip even if it was as The Story Goes it wasn't it was like one of the it was just a onset accident I assume but apparently he's saying that it was just a Paparazzi photo that was on the ground it died unrelated cause uh but because homing pigeons are protected uh there's like they're never gonna be like what the [ __ ] Alec Baldwin shot and killed somebody on set and uh I don't think anything happened to him so I don't think Michael B's got much to worry about honestly yeah um I'm not laughing at the fact that it was a tragic tragic accident I'm sorry but that was just very funny yeah I'm just just pointing it out sorry I don't mean to him today was interrupted after Gary Indiana serious I saw this yeah it was so they would I saw this already as well there was um they were just doing a normal match today boring old broadcasting and some guy at seller taped a mobile phone to the back and obviously his phone had like it was like a really shitty ringtone of like sex sounds like kind of hard to make out honestly it was like ah it's all sounded it was like it was like it was kind of bad right no sex sounds I've ever heard yeah well it just didn't sound a woman so positive yeah and it's kind of I should have seen get off get off I've got a headache yeah head off get off oh man oh my god um Jesus sorry I can't distracted but no Gary lilica handled it like a pro and was like oh someone's played some weird sales I don't know if you can hear that it must be some sort of Joker yeah and I don't know he just he he was like really he really handled it well um and everyone looked he made they managed to spin it so it was like because he tweeted afterwards so imagine actually inside he was Furious okay and I would be um but maybe he wasn't maybe he was just like I think I think you gotta just roll with the punches when stuff like that happens right because I wish I wish yeah I'd like to be able to but I think inside I would still be fuming you would no I don't think he would be he put out like a tweet afterwards that was like you know this is what have we found this thing sellotape to the back of the sector yeah yeah it was quite quite funny my favorite part of it is that I think he was trying to throw to Alan Shearer who was standing on some Gantry wearing a flat cap look at this like classic shira's stone-faced boring bastard and this is going on and he's trying to throw the shirazir is just like like just can't hear the sex sounds serious because he's you know it was a bit of goal here at Leicester [ __ ] he gives a [ __ ] yeah the people who are watching that are certain a certain population anyway uh the other thing on this news thing is so apparently this is the thing that happens if you have like these leaf piles right like big leaf piles that decompose yeah they will create nitrous oxide bursts into flames as well can't they yeah which is like laughing gas I think I think so do is apparently you're supposed to like periodically stir them right right if you have a huge one but uh the deer in the local area have learned that if they dig into the leaf pile they can take a huge breath or get a little bit nitrous oxide and get [ __ ] up on it and there's videos of them frolicking around acting crazy I love that man setting fire to things well speaking of that actually the other day um there was a bus on fire in Bristol on the way in and it was like properly smoke pouring out of it um you know like a bomb had gone off or something really where was it right up into the air just outside the uh train station was there like if only there was someone with the capacity to push this bus into a into some water where's the Bristol Pusher when you need it God might by calling I missed it but yeah I wondered what that was I thought it was because it was right at the top at the back of the bus right it looked like where the kids would be seeing Jeremy yeah yeah so I I there's no there's there's no are you trying to say that some kids did this is this where this is leading you're you're just assuming that some kids lit the bus on fire well it's like a gas-powered bus right right and the I don't I think they have the engine on the back though right on buses I said I don't know where the engines are sorry is there any bus experts right in saying I think so because that's where you've got um I I mean I'm I'm 99 sure it's at the back because first of all if you look at a bus there's no room at the front for the engine it's a big engine yeah and it doesn't have the truck style front to it it doesn't have like a look at the back of a bus yeah for one thing if you sit at the back of the bus you can [ __ ] hear the engine and that's where whenever they break down they open that flap at the back and the driver stands there for a second looking like he's gonna be able to fix it but it's more to just symbolize yeah the bus has broken down so I'm pretty sure on the certainly on London bus the engines at the back yeah and that's not what's on fire it's like above the engine like it's it's like the windows but that's where the kids like the naughty kids would see yeah well just saying good you solved that one so they're being they're being like I'm assuming they're looking for some well it's I think it happened like 10. so yeah 10 a.m so it feels like maybe like it's really young enough at least an hour before that right maybe but maybe I mean if they're shoving paper and bits of rubbish down some vent hole that goes onto the radiator or something down there and that catches fire all the rubbish down there could be that could be yeah maybe there's like all their love notes they need to get rid of the love notes that they pass around to each other and that's why people do that anymore oh yeah I don't know I think they just Snapchat each other pictures of their dicks don't they no well that's a big part of it now too but I think there's some I think there's some some poetry involved as well something romance probably isn't dead sips yeah I should hope people might it's thriving it's thriving you just you love to get a love letter again I remember getting them did you ever get those letters where it's like uh I really I really like you do you want to go out with me and then there's like a box that says yes or yes yes no yes absolutely I love those oh good yeah like the feedback form yeah I love you do you love me yes no of course you always take yes because yeah you must reply yes yeah that's like I love like that's that's stuff that kids do when they they need you to reply as well it's like yeah uh immediately they almost like make it as easy as possible with like steps just envelope but like I think they still do love notes but I think they're I think there's a a cut off much sooner than when we were kids because one thing I have noticed is that a lot of my son's friends at school who are all 10 11 years old one thing that a lot of them got for Christmas this year was uh phone so I think uh once they're on once they're on their phones there that's it's it's kind of done you know Christmas present no but um but then uh can I just say uh we're talking about school sorry sips um go ahead oh I was gonna just say that some some of them actually um seemed a little bit like uh like regretted asking for a phone because it turns out it's not as great as they thought it was going to be you know yeah yeah I think they would have rather just actually had something fun I was going to talk about school my youngest had a story about her music teacher the other day that I thought was quite funny it reminded me of being at school um I think from a kid's perspective the teachers are like these monolithic creatures who don't have emotions and just turn up do the job and go home and they don't get stressed or anything like that and they they're like stone giants yeah of course as an adult now the idea of working with kids all day you realize [ __ ] hell what a stressful and this music teacher had clearly had enough on this particular day um and the kids were all doing music and for some reason they're doing something to do with piano they all have to play the piano in this lesson only two kids in a class have had piano lessons which is a sign of the times really I'm sure back in the in the olden days most people would you know especially in a middle class school would would have some kind of [ __ ] piano tutoring or something I certainly remember lots of kids did anyway yeah she's there and she's like just play the C chord and they were like what's a c chord she's getting anger and angry with these kids for not knowing how to play chords on a piano if you can't you can't play the piano just shouting at people to play the so-and-so chord isn't gonna make them be able to play it like it's not you can't look at a piano and no no oh c chord of course like you can't work it out no you have to you have to like decipher that pretty early on right like I could imagine like someone who's never looked at a piano before wouldn't know what that was at all right I mean if you were given a piano and told all right for the next month it's just you and the piano you got to figure out if you give someone a [ __ ] guitar and say play the C chord on that I'd be like go ahead move here you go in the water [ __ ] come on how many times have I said it's easy yeah yeah so I just thought that was that was a collapse in in uh in teaching from that teacher but I just also thought I bet she just had one of those days and was just in the end of it my son got a a kazoo in his stalking and he's been playing that and one uh oh my God one song that he really he likes to play on his kazoo for some reason is uh is that one uh I'll be riding shotgun on the kazoo right yes it's in my head now because it's just like const like I'm not talking about a little kazoo here I'm talking about like five solid hours of kazoo like of the same yeah I don't know why I didn't even I didn't even realize he liked that song but I guess I don't even know if he does like it I think it's one of those things that you know it's just a tune that he's got in his head or whatever so that's what he what he plays but yeah it sounds good and it's familiar and it works yeah but like the joy of it because it was you could literally be told like as long as you could harm a tune you could play that tune the keys you have to like you know have decks dexterous fingers does anyone know if any songs legitimate songs that are not comedy songs that feature a kazoo in a serious song I can't think of one right can you think about it with a kazoo in it you can't think of it of of any I can't even think of a joke song with a kazoo in it any songs is it the least represented musical instrument if you could even call it that it's Gotta Be honestly because I even novelty you you even hear like like a faint triangle in the back of some songs right like it's I mean a triangle yeah that's that's there's a place for it yeah yeah but kazoo a comedy it's like a kind of Comedy music isn't it I suppose all right I've actually got the answer right here what is it in 1961 Del Shannon's so long baby issued on Big Top records featured a kazoo on the instrumental break holy crap uh and Jesse Fuller's 1962 recording of his song San Francisco Bay Blues features a kazoo solo as does Eric Clapton's 1992 recording of the song Tears in Heaven would be so weird with the kazoo Solo in the middle of it wouldn't it it's like this really serious song and then also [Music] like the harmonica right oh they're gonna know what my kids got harmonicas in their stockings as well now hang on lyrics harmonica is a completely different kettle of fish okay so how about the um The Squeeze Box the accordion or the accordion now what are they cool with an accordion no they don't look cool but there have been some pretty good songs featured in the accordion accordions sound amazing actually when they're playing goodies do celebrate right yeah it sounds like really stereotypical because you kind of associate accordions with the French right like it is uh it's a very I guess I associate the kazoo the accordion the harmonica these things with the one man we were on some public transportation in France one time in Paris we were visiting Paris and there was a guy on our uh train playing the accordion and it was amazing he was so good like it was he was belting them out and he people were like giving him tips and everything it was it was really fantastic I I I don't mind that accordion honestly I think they're pretty good I think well maybe I'm maybe I'm picking it wrong but I just that sort of Clowny like with that with a horn under your armpit and you know you'll dissemble between your knees or like a rubber chicken like you know on your butt cheeks and so you could squeeze like like every different part of your body and make like a you're like a honking smashing mess going down the street I just I I it's just too comedy it's too cloudy like so these instruments like you wouldn't see like Drake playing uh the the you know the kazoo or the no that's the end of your career if you're cool and you come out playing a kazoo I think I think Bill Bailey or Weird Al Yankovic can get away with any and they want the weirder ones do you remember you have a comedy slapstick element to them of course so if you're if you know if you are a comedian median then yeah of course you're gonna look for stuff like that right can you imagine if when Prince came out to do the Super Bowl and played Purple Rain If instead of playing at the guitar he'd whipped out a kazoo a purple kazoo and played Purple Rain because like he was he was so talented it was insane like he could just do anything but it's still a kazoo it is uh it's it's a street cred thing I think with the kazoo you have to be able to pull it off and I don't think I can't think of one person that who could actually pull it off besides maybe Prince actually yeah I've got I've got a I've got an update just very quickly we recorded a podcast last week talking about Dungeons and Dragons oh yeah and now all my Twitter feed is filled with is people complaining about wizard of the coast and dungeons of dragons just to reiterate what I said on Twitter we recorded that podcast before all these Revelations and everything I I did I had no idea about it this is why I was like yeah is really waxing lyrical about the whole thing no you said they're shitty and it's a shitty system that was your argument there was no mention of of this stuff yeah oh no this is the news well there's this it was this has been going on for a while though this is not something that suddenly happened this week they've been being shitty for months and worse and worse but all I've seen this week this week though and making it worse this week this week is them getting up in people's faces about basically trying so the the Wizard of the coast is owned by Hasbro which is a massive Mega Corp and they want to monetize people with a monthly subscription through you know their systems and they they want people they want to hook people in and charge people with ever increasing amount of money for basically nothing and you know and it's kind of I think it's gone over to got to a boiling point where they've been trying to you know almost like claim ownership over people's home brew systems and things like this it's almost like you know when you it's like if you like the user and user license agreement in Minecraft you know if you make a Minecraft mod that belongs to Microsoft kind of thing right that sort of stuff but for d and d and so I think a lot of people yeah in theory but Microsoft have made it quite clear that they don't want my nude mod that I made for Minecraft they don't want anything to do with it even though I've tried and tried and tried to get them interested so my mod ninja craft is not popular I don't know why what have I done uh I can't figure it out Dear Bill Gates mint craft is the future I've replaced all the in-game assets with pictures of vaginas thinking of putting the painting up in your brand new house that you just made hope you like [ __ ] because this mod is for you it sounds like something with all the Skyrim mods yeah pretty much no you're not wrong like that [ __ ] oh my God you're right about that oh my God the sound effects would be like that mobile phone though I'll match the day yeah just a really crazy sounds yeah whenever you like fall instead of the oof it would be oh did did I tell you guys about the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom did we yeah I believe so all right sorry I delve no deeper I stopped no I I I yeah I thought that was one good good I haven't I was talking to uh somebody about this yesterday because they were saying that they watched the uh the John was it John Wayne Gacy or whatever John what's his name the the serial killer right there is a um there's there's like a documentary about about him on Netflix or something like that and then they've got that big series about Dahmer and stuff as well but I I was like I was saying I think I'm I think I'm serial killered out like as as fascinated as As I Am by them sometimes it just it's just it's so miserable reading about them and stuff as well like it's not uh it is awful [ __ ] like I never want to hear another thing about Jeffrey Dahmer ever again in my whole life it's just the worst enough with Jeffrey please don't make any more series or documentaries or anything about them I think the ones that exist are enough to get the point across that he was truly an evil person and that's it we don't need more like uh like just please don't it's it's it is the worst you're out of luck here because if it's making money look at the history I know I mean all they make is Hit List though Hitler's greatest cups of coffee like that's it's it's anything um anything speaking of miserable um uh TV watching and stuff uh don't talk about The Apprentice I'm not gonna no it's on tonight but I'm not going to talk about it I was going to say that I watched um All Quiet on the Western Front the new uh the new one on Netflix oh that's that was that was what she was it was it was really good but quite Miserable as well right like uh yeah I could I couldn't get I couldn't finish it I was like it was really as hell again really well done but yeah War really is so holy crap it was just like yeah I get it I get it where's that well I read the book relatively recently and how's the feels interesting to see how that was very different right very different actually yeah partly because the the book is written by a a soldier who was there and a German soldier who who fought on the Western Front and obviously it's his you know notes or like Recollections which was obviously slightly um slightly kind of censored uh at the time because it was published just sort of before World War not many people that returned from the uh to from the front the the the the ones that did uh really spoke about it much either right it was like I got a recommendation if you want to know more sips it's a book I read this a couple of years ago by a guy called Ernst Jung oh yeah as a German black called right which is steel steel thunderstorm so in uh in English it was storm of Steel he was a World War One officer fighting for the the Bosch and uh it's like his account of it it is really unbelievable it's so good it's a really really good read and I recommend that that to me is far more impressive and important than uh than this [ __ ] film which I was just like I just like for one thing the the thing is with with with uh storm of Steel he talks about the fact that when he was in battle and doing it they were actually [ __ ] elated like he's like there's nothing like him really yeah he was like and this is this is the dark side of it that you don't hear about and this is my biggest problem with all of these war books is like War as hell and everyone's like that's a miserable lying in the mountain my friend's head is now in my lip like yeah I get it I get it but you're not talking about the fact that some people [ __ ] love it and this guy does he talks about it I think um it touches on it a little bit but probably not as much as uh you know maybe is in the book or whatever because there there is like there is reference to like you know people in in in the middle of it when they have a little bit of time to think and they sort of and they're sort of saying what the hell are we gonna do like how am I gonna go back to Leading a normal life after all this sort of thing yeah get me back into the into the fight like this is this is me now I feel like like this is I mean I I get it it's all true stuff and you talk you know a lot of veterans have share the same feelings and I am not trying to diminish what you guys experienced absolutely not but I'm talking about it as a film as a story I feel like too many War films treat this subject as if we've never before been treated to the fact that war is hell yeah and that it pays a it has a toll I know it does we all know it does we get it we've got young people living today who are suffering PTSD from war do we need to see another war movie where it's like the young went off they had no idea what they're signing up for turns out War as hell and they lost their friends and now they've changed people it's like yeah I get it it just feels like the same story because the new generation but a new generation coming through yeah hasn't changed anything these stories have been around forever it's never changed anything that's my problem it's never changed young people signing up for war and having completely the wrong idea about what it's going to be like and then finding out the reality and thinking I [ __ ] up what was I thinking yeah yeah like that is such an old story and but these stories been around I guarantee you for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years talking about the regret of a soldier going to war and realizing the bloody reality it just feels like you need new stories but yeah I just keep doing the same one like can you believe it war is hell is like yeah I get it I [ __ ] get it I'm just I'm griping but that was just how I like the military history and like the the the the the strategy thing so you're right they are there's enough but then again there's enough gratuitous violence from John Wick and other things being a being a killer and all of these Netflix shows glamorizing serial killers there's plenty of that anyway right what I'm saying is if you look at something like Band of Brothers which was a really Legend legendary TV series and amazing those guys were not spending half an episode just after every fight crying and saying war is hell they had a job to do and they got on with it and it was Grim a lot of the time there was a big toll for these guys but they also knew what they had to do and why they were doing it and I think that was an interesting War story where we had characters like you know who were suffering and couldn't cope with it and then we had characters who were perhaps too into it and we had characters who were trying to mediate everything and keep it together and keep people alive it was fascinating showed it from multiple different perspectives and it was interesting and it was based on a true story so that made it more interesting I just think if your drama about the war is just going to be War as hell yeah it's you're lacking some death well apparently this is exactly what the problem was with this we might talk about this before but with this the follow-up season to Band of Brothers um the Pacific yeah yeah that was two and I think a lot of people had that same criticism that it was just too miserable yeah they they forgot that and I think a lot of people forget that I think maybe this maybe in fact I don't know if this is even true but Band of Brothers I think does have lighter moments with them you know doing something that isn't just slogging in mud and sure and bleeding to death yeah yeah like you know more about the characters I always felt in the Pacific all you saw was their hollowed out eyes fighting this Grim War in these Pacific Islands which I'm sure was absolutely [ __ ] hellish yeah God damn it but you can't watch 12 episodes of that no you know what I mean you just you just can't we say the same thing about um we're watching uh inside number nine yesterday and like the the short story format I've said before I really I really like but we were we were thinking about some of them how you know there was maybe some more story to tell and you could almost make it into a series but then like how the [ __ ] could you slog through some of these miserable stories like in a episodic format you know like imagine watching 12 episodes of the uh of the one where the guy works at the volunteer call center you know what I mean like like the story could have been flesh out maybe a little bit more but nobody's going to sit through 12 episodes of that right it's just like too miserable it's too much so it's like it works it works perfectly really like it's definitely a hard topic and I see I think you're right the war has has this it's it feels somewhat irreverent um disrespectful to make comedy about it but we obviously did the Dad's Army video on the election you know we people are comparing that to like people saying it feels more like mash you know it feels more like I mean mashed with the Korean War but it's it's it's kind of these there's not many comedies that have tried to tackle these hard-hitting events without some little note or message I mean blackhead did it during the during the festival exactly and that was that was an interesting stupid women just catchphrases oh yeah so I guess you I guess you're right like it does feel like I don't know like but then again it's a classic Oscar bait thing right where tollywood wants to get Oscars or get recognition or or create something that they think is maybe sometimes it's it's probably it's pet projects as well I think I think every movie is someone's pet project right you've got maybe yeah for sure and 1917 was a war movie Another World War One war movie but I think they did something really interesting it had an interesting story and it had these these guys having to do this unbelievable thing as you know part of the story and obviously the gimmick if you want to call it that was the the single shot nature of it which was very very technically impressive and after a while the only thing I'd say is you kind of forget that it's single shot but it didn't mean that you stayed with in this huge mess of a war you stayed with just these two characters which was very interesting and very well done but it was interesting because 1917 whilst it had that war as hell kind of thing that all war movies have that wasn't the focus and I I didn't feel like I'd seen it before I felt like I really wanted to know what happened yeah and it had a compelling plot on its own and that's all I'm saying is that if you're going to make water it has to have more to it yeah like platoon for example yeah um was a good war movie uh and it did have the I mean you know the tagline for platoon was in war innocence is the first casualty right and it was his transformation from this sort of young ingenue sort of soldier who's got all these big Ideas coming from college to the Grim reality of it yeah but it didn't feel like it was just a war as Hell movie it felt like it was more of a compelling story about the the fight between good and evil and every Soldier I thought that was that was interesting sure so I'm just saying that was why when you were talking about them All Quiet on the Western Front didn't do it yeah anyway I thought um yeah I like I agree um on on on the points you know that it's a story that's been told and stuff like that but I I think it was impressively presented at least like like I think technically it was really nicely done and and and what makes me laugh I suppose what did it always makes me laugh it's such a Trope in these things if there's a character wearing glasses yeah they're gonna die and you're gonna find their glasses every single time there's a bunch of lads in a war and one of them's got specs the specs cracked one lens missing it was his glasses that's his glasses again how is he going to see now all over this field his eyes are in little pieces how is his glasses have survived it's like okay I bet this light's glasses are gonna be how is it going to kiss his girlfriend when his head is in pieces all of us is this River yeah write us a letter you will send it yourself no you must give it back to me I like I like some of the rabbit holes that you end up going down though after you watch some of this stuff because like I it just it just made me read more about you know like the first world war and the events leading up to it and stuff like that which I've done before but um I don't know it's just it history is I find history and the older I get I know I keep saying it but the older I get the more fascinated I am by it as well like I don't know you suppose um because I was thinking about this the other day actually that when I was in school history seemed like the most boring subject yeah whereas now I really love reading about history yeah I've read all kinds of things yeah and I remember our teachers at the time saying you guys should read some books about history you'd love it we were like yeah whereas now I'm thinking man yeah I'd love to give me some more history books learn this stuff I prefer uh I prefer reading why do we look backwards more when as we get older we tend to look back more I wonder if that's part of it we've got some sense of the past yeah because we were there we have our own path to look back on so that draws us into the the greater past whereas when you're young you've got no [ __ ] past all you've got is future who cares about history sure when you're 14. there is no history for you for me I'm interested to see like um like I remember like my my generation and being a kid and stuff and I'm always interested to see what led up to that you know like whatever led up to the conditions and absolutely right by the way about this people X like how like for us 911 was a huge event right whereas to a lot of kids or even like you know 30 year olds they have no that was in the distant past to them that was a different different time something awful meme with the towers going up and down to yakity sax right which is like the oldest so you go you you go sips sorry I interrupted no no it's fine it's just honestly for anyone listening to the podcast quite often we interrupt each other because there is a slight delay on Discord I didn't even hear sip say anything I just I just didn't know I wanted tips to go into a new bit gossips I can't remember what I was saying now because you interrupted me no well that's good it's that kind of video was very important thank you everyone uh for listening this week it's great to to have you join us it's great to be doing this yeah and um yeah new year new podcast same old [ __ ] we're back yeah we love you all uh take care of yourselves and and be good to each other yeah all right [Laughter] oh my gosh [Music]

Channel: Triforce!

Views: 21,180

Keywords: podcast, gaming podcast, pod, yogscast, comedy podcast, yogpod, triforce, pyrion, lewis, sips

Id: rqvgdOiLIws

Length: 64min 50sec (3890 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 02 2023

Reddit Comments

[u/epicmarc]

Ngl found Lewis disparagingly calling the people watching the FA Cup game (e.g. normal people sat at home enjoying some football, not football hooligans) a "certain population" to be pretty cringy/immature. I'm not saying he has to like football, but to me it's just weird when people think they're special for not liking sports, or look down on other people for their interests.

[u/Robot_ninja_pirate]

I'm surprised by P.Flax's take on anti-war movies. like I get that the "war is hell theme" can feel drab and depressing but it feels like he had such a reductive view on some of the themes in these movies he criticized.

[u/Aliensinnoh]

Sips doesn’t know Alec Baldwin was charged with Involuntary Manslaughter. Maybe it happened after they recorded this episode.