Transforming Milk Jugs Into Knives

this episode of the modern rogue is brought to you by roman go to getroman.com and get 15 off your first ed treatment you smell that you smell that i know what that smells like is it my pee that was in this oh that's right your pee was definitely in there it says uh hi brian i wrote this with my pee the worst part is that i absolutely believe you i got god i was gonna say the smell of legends that need to be tested but your pee is also accurate all right so if i'm gathering this correctly you've seen a few videos online that claim that you can make an actual functional knife out of milk jugs yeah i mean anything to knife if you believe in yourself no it turns out aluminum actually aluminum foil could be a knife yeah and i think has been and we're really good at turning things into knives yeah well i mean we're very good at cutting ourselves on things which i think is pretty much the same that's close yeah we've tried to make a number of things in the knives that's like our things like how can we make this a knife so the first thing that pops into my mind is ooh this plastic is soft if i were to guess i would say there's some way that we reduce this plastic into a harder plastic question mark what we are going to do is cut this up into little pieces first i don't know which of us i trust less with scissors well they're two pair okay so just cut it all the way do you want cut gloves no no please i bet that one of us is going to cut our hand not on the scissors but on the plastic before it's even knife okay look the fans place those bets we don't place those bats on ourselves you what do you pete rose what are you doing you don't gamble on our own game i should start doing that you should start on the discord patreon.com modern rogue this is essentially how plastic gets recycled though right is they slice and dice it up into little pellets that get melted i don't know what happens after i put it out by the curb all i know is it's not my fault that's right i did my part sorry polar bears sorry texas sized island of trash it wasn't me i'm singing shaggy how small do we want to make these pellets i think just like little slivers kind of like i'm doing here okay or that that probably looks like i was going to go confetti cross cut i figured i'd do a bunch of strips and then strip here's that busted ass foil we've got b-a-f that's a common term kids use right baf yeah oh wait oh my god hold on look at this i got this here's what you do you do a bunch of vertical stripes right and then you take the fingers of satan and then you just cluster them up ah watch this whoops tiny plastic confetti that's a good method is it bad that i saw you with scissors and i actually took a brief moment to think can you get me your instincts are honed quite well i think we've done enough damage to the internet we must return to our home planet that's right like the end of uhf yeah we've done more episodes on how to knife-ify something than like maybe second to like what desperate defense and uh episodes with trevor uh yes i hesitate to point that out for fear that the channel will go away oh no sir we've run the numbers ninety percent is how to make a knife out of things the other 10 is them going to the er i like to think that if the feds checked out modern rogue they would just go yeah they're not a threat to anyone but themselves so what are the standard instructions that we're trying to follow here we're cutting them into pieces yep heating them up to until until they get malleable and all into a is there a number i see that we have 350 on the the box 350. the box i couldn't even summon the word oven what is wrong with us the box hot make hot box plastic go stab stabbed are we hot boxing is that is that what this episode's about laziness is kicking in so how small a knife are you comfortable with us making one of those little cocktail swords through a cherry that's all we need we should also note that burning plastic is unhealthy yeah are we going to be burning it or just softening it or softening it just just softening for anybody before you're about to say this warehouse is 2 000 square feet with two stories of vertical space and good ventilation even if it did look an awful lot like we were huffing glue study yourself this is a good episode this is great this is my favorite i feel it apparently if you heat it at a low heat allegedly it doesn't give off toxic fumes or chemicals we could also open a door right yeah yeah make sure when you're heating this up don't do this at home how about that we'll just stop we're at our place or yeah don't do this don't ever do this all right i think we have most of a knife here it's a lot of plastic i can't tell you at home how many times my wife has stopped me from using the little convection oven because i was about to start a fire wait uh how does human start a fire he almost asked out loud oh i'm sorry the hot box yes thank you do you think we make these any smaller or does that look good these onions onion jugs so do you know do these totally liquefy or just sort of soft they get real mushy what we want to happen is for them to get mushy and then like cry and then admit that they love us the whole time i'm gushy and it was really their fault mushy and then where they mix together they fuse into one solid minuto gelatinous mass oh we're gonna have to supervise this aren't we we're gonna have to do a podcast now it's a good time to mention patreon.com i don't want to call it a regular podcast but yeah well that implied that we talk every now and then and record it yeah it's turning clear by clear i mean my thoughts i'm this much closer to god you've still got a few thetans in there i think oh i like the way you looked at my wallet when you said that [Laughter] see that's something i never had any use for was presidents what number of president was john samus and john stamos he shortened it to stamos because he was getting persecuted whoa almost mushy it's getting there it's gonna that's like um i don't know what it's really called but you put it on bread or an english muffin it's like ham and gravy i only know it as honest shingle i i don't know somebody in the chat is like agreeing right now was he shirt yes of course he was where did you see this i see it every night my dreams it doesn't matter when the microwave man visited me again last night all right call to action this is about to be podcast is almost over uh seriously go to patreon.com monorogue if you want to if you enjoyed this which why wouldn't you dude okay it's like four day old jello i think we still got a little ways to go i i you don't think we can squish that down because it's not quite merging enough yet okay yeah i'm gonna goose this up to bake bake is you're going whoa whoa whoa 88 miles an hour that's fume level man maybe i have no way of countering that fact it's not like i have the internet in my pocket at all times what's the right time to show your daughters any coen brothers movie okay so game plan is i know we're going to lose heat pretty quick i'm going to pull it over here there you go there you go i'm going to fold it over and we're gonna oh i need the dexterity oh oh right and now uh swish we smoosh smoosh smoosh all the smoosh oh smoosh like you're playing doom 2 with floppy jewels next to a cytology center oh hey just does it do anything oh wait oh this all seems like a bad idea yeah that's probably fine yeah okay oh oh that's cooling off fast you wanna stand on it i'll climb how about we put it on the floor and stand on it that's a better idea yeah there you go just there it is there it is nice and easy let me check let's check okay oh still warm i'm gonna flip it okay no bbd jokes so it seems like if there's one thing we've learned from when we've done molds and casts of stuff is that letting it cool down slowly tends to give you a stronger something right oh like stronger bond like it's gonna be yeah what i'm saying is we could just throw this in the freezer but i feel like we should take our time yeah that's something i hadn't considered as there might be a better process of getting all the air bubbles out of it because that's gonna harm the integrity if we don't yeah i mean just as long as the whole thing doesn't evaporate like the clumsy clay canoe it all leaked out are you [ __ ] kidding me at this point i think it's pretty well squished but the only way for us to screw this up is for us to start grinding it before it's cooled all the way down oh yeah so i'm gonna say we'll take a real 15 minute break and then check on it yeah does that sound good okay all right time travel completed we need we need like some kind of cool effect to happen we do have a robot who can say that thing for us say it time travel completed there we go cool now it's what's going to happen when we part these and then it just all kind of oozes out i hope i i i don't know how much harder do you think it got i guess just what tear it open yeah let's see oh yep and there it is should i try to break it that could be the end of the whole segment no i don't know where you at yeah i could break it i don't want to because i could see myself breaking it and then just lacerating my hand so so in other words probably an effective knife make a good knife yeah it's a little bit more flexible than i'd like but i definitely feel like we can make a hell of a shift oh yeah so and if we had some talent we could make a decent night yeah man but yeah yeah expectations down here just a thin shiv right just like this maybe is that that's about right right you just want to make just a pointy thing you want to put a handle on it or anything i mean yeah yeah i mean when i say expectations are low maybe a little higher than a triangle kill a little i didn't get well okay okay okay well i said you can do better when you said hand me the con you got handed the [ __ ] do we need a stencil would that help uh i don't know [Applause] damn it should have kept my mouth shut maybe we should just start get some goggles and start sanding it down and sand it into the shape of a knife so in other words start driving with no plan of where we're going uh you know i prefer to see it as a block of stone that we coax the art out of sure like sculptors sure i'm gonna be the michelangelo of trash knives trash knives all right i will coax the knife from how do you turn this on i'm gonna take the knife away from the knife making machine that you're about to use and don't know how to turn on it's fine okay first you plug it in then there's a red button here you're so far so good man it's a good start good job michelangelo okay that's you get over just i don't know [Music] [Music] that's not as effective as i thought okay so we're probably gonna need to cut this first was the problem sir i just thought the shape would start to emerge it didn't work that way we have a jigsaw down we should use a jigsaw but even before we cut a shape we should know the shape we're cutting yeah okay fine me i'm fine with this stabby triangle that i drew i want to say we can do better but we both know that that's probably not true i mean like like that there we go i like that so how do we want to cut this part off we'll use the sawzall all right almost the proper tool for the job just say when yeah and then uh what maybe a little hand guard like that yeah doing good sort of yeah there we go yeah oh that feels good here hold this well done right yeah yep yep yep yep okay so how sharp do you want the angle on it maybe just like a little bit off like this section oh yeah and then the rest is like detail work right yeah which we're really good at i mean that's where we shine let's be honest oh yeah that's already down past oh oh hey hey there we go i have a feeling this handle is gonna break off that's fine here in fact let's make it part of the decoration there you go look that was on purpose there we go fine detail work love it all right how's it feel it feels like a knife yeah it feels like a knife my friend i guess we just blade this part up and blade this side and then it's bladed or do we just want to blade this and just leave this as it is i don't know no no yeah let's let's see that would feel very milk juggy i'd be milk juggalo milk juggalo that's your rap name yes oh yeah that does feel pretty good it's got a ways to go [Music] dude the tip feels a little bit floppy but how's that feeling to you oh that'll break the skin before it breaks yeah yeah like at this point do you think what we take some sandpaper and start getting the edges oh yeah just get that like really fine yeah let's see what we can do every time we do something like this i think of an episode of sesame street with bert and ernie uh-oh stick with me oh no i'm already there i don't know which one of us is which though i want to say they had licorice ernie had two and he was gonna give bert one but then he said oh wait hang on mine's longer and he took a bite and then burst was longer and then you take a bite of birds and he's like oh now mine's longer again and then he had eaten all of the licorice this is how we end up with a push dagger exactly single episode exactly so it's like man if i do it it's gonna end up like like a toothpick so it's malleable and soft enough that it chews it down to a nice fine point and i do believe this will mess somebody up how do you want to test it see i've seen people make like kitchen knives out of these which seems like a recipe to put plastic into your food yeah or to make your own food even worse do we want to test it on the changeling head do we want to test it on our lord and re leader the one great cosmic consciousness from which all us descend all right you tell me if we want to get much sharper than we have i mean it's not enough that i'm worried about running my fingers along it but it is enough that i think that that'll mess you up it may not be slicey but it certainly is stabby it's definitely stabby i think this is good all right i have an idea for test okay what's his name brandon against brandon's [Laughter] do we need a more threatening name brandon the destroyer behold brandon the destroyer right let me get gloves on i want you to stab him right between his filthy eyes without hitting my hands in any way okay easy thing i can do that you can do that okay i wish i could put a glove on over a glove all right there we go just just in case there's the injury counter there dude the heavens just opened up they know it's time they're like what's up fresh meat now my whatever you do it stops here yep yep i have more control like this okay okay ready oh look boys it's fresh meat all he had was milk jugs in his cell i'm sure we could take him for all of his money in his prison wallet oh you still away from my prison wallet brandon no more [Music] god that was too close to my hands my one weakness a knife to the face let your stupid destroy your nose brandon dude that was terrifying i was sufficiently afraid of that to 100 past this legend yeah and it's still intact too this is uh i'm gonna rate this as far above our styrofoam blade oh yeah yeah 100 push down not a push taker this is a real dagger this like like just just a yeah you feel it okay well done yeah internet i'd like to think that the samsung microwave guy would be really proud of us right now i forgot about him all right truth time how many times have you not gone to the doctor because you were embarrassed i don't want to know the reason why i'm certainly not going to tell you mine but i do have a number of times that i have skipped getting professional healthcare advice because i was too embarrassed maybe you were too but it's okay because there's a certain problem called erectile dysfunction that roman can help you with from the comfort and privacy of your own home it's discreet it's simple it's safe and it's actual medicine from actual health care professionals if you're having trouble with erectile dysfunction you go to getroman.com rogue and they can help you with free online consultation from a healthcare professional free two-day shipping and if you use promo code rogue you get 15 off your first ed treatment this is all from the comfort and privacy of your own home you don't have to go out anywhere you don't have to expose yourself to many of the horrors outside your doorstep waiting every day no just stay in the privacy and comfort of your own home talk to an actual health care professional go to getroman.com rogue that's r-o-g-u-e and get 15 off your first eating treatment free two-day shipping and a free consultation with an online healthcare professional offer and link in the description below man is some onion ass looking milk jug what i've i meant that literally in that it looks like diced onions and it's a milk jug but then the moment i said it i was like that sounds like somebody trying to be dirty i was like what would that look like i don't know what you're asking me exactly because there's a lot of words that are almost naughty well if you say onion ass there is onion booty is that a thing yeah what does onion build a person's booty that makes you cry makes you cry so good it brings a tear to yourself oh i nailed it

Channel: The Modern Rogue

Views: 137,524

Keywords: modern rogue, brian brushwood, jason murphy

Id: tDbWHc_nu0o

Length: 21min 15sec (1275 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 19 2021