Top 15 HILARIOUS McDonalds PlayPlace Stories

all of the following stories are from the ask reddit post McDonald's employees what is the worst thing that has ever happened in the play place number 15 it started as a fairly average Monday morning a couple of kids got into a small fight but we usually don't step in unless it's anything serious anyway it's getting kind of late and I only had an hour left two kids got into a pretty big argument lots of hair pulling pushing etc I was feeling pretty tired that day probably still hungover from the night before didn't really bother to do anything because it looked like their parents had noticed anyway one of the kids was fairly older than the other one and the mother of the younger kid was pretty pissed off that her kid was being bullied the mother of the older kid was your typical lazy parent who doesn't give a [ __ ] about what their child is up to and insisted it wasn't her problem now the mother of the younger kid looked extremely pissed off before they had even began to talk I could visibly see her face growing redder and redder as each second pass she told the other mom that she should bother to raise her kid properly and said that her daughter should give her child an apology the mother just shrugged it off and turned away apparently the mother of the younger girl didn't like that because within seconds she grabbed her by the hair and slammed her face into one of the plastic slides the rest of the kids simply watched in horror as the mother proceeds to push the woman headfirst into the ball pit while desperately trying to kick her in the head the last thing I saw she jumped up and tried to elbow drop her pro wrestling style quickly got my manager who called the police the mother was thrown into the police car and I'm pretty sure they had to get an ambulance for the other woman needless to say the play place closed early that day they didn't reopen it for almost a week number 14 I worked at McGee in the late 90s and we had around a 400 or 500 pound woman tried to get into the play place she got in and up to the middle level of the three level play tower and got stuck in a tube we had to call 9-1-1 who had to get a crane and unbolt the tube and left her and the tube out then cut the tube off of her she looked like a pig stuffed into a giant yellow straw our play place was out of order for four months while we waited for replacement parts I couldn't believe that she thought it was a good idea anyway the whole tube was bowing while she was stuck in there for almost four hours the fire department used a ladder on the ladder truck to brace the tube because they were afraid it was gonna break sending her crashing to the floor fifteen or so feet below number 13 I'm not an employee but my aunt got stuck in the spiral slide once yeah my aunt she was like 40 at the time I'm not really sure why she decided to go down the slide but she did and she didn't fit they had to shut the play place down and call someone to pull her out number 12 I was a teenager assumed seventeen because I did reckless and stupid [ __ ] all the time when I was that age never anything really sinister though anyways I was eating at the McDonald's off the five freeway in Carlsbad back when it still had a play place there was hardly anyone at that location at the time and I had a group of friends that needed impressing of course the plan didn't come together until I was collecting her trash on her tray the trash went into the bin but the trace stayed with me I ran into the play place squealing with excitement my friends shouting questions at me as I disappeared into the structure I'd like to point out that I was fully sized so trying to touch as little as possible was difficult the entire kitty mansion smelled of piss that was okay though because I had made it to my destination the swirly slide with the tray in hand I situated myself at the top of the ride like someone trying for the Jamaican bobsled team I never really thought about what would happen I just thought it sounded awesome I flew down that slide at about a thousand miles per hour the end of the slide the part of my ride and neglected perhaps on purpose was aimed directly at the glass wall of the establishment one second I was in a tunnel of hellish excitement the next I was flying into a sheet of glass no it didn't break but I knocked myself out and the window was [ __ ] it didn't shatter but definitely needed repairs when I came to I looked inside to see the cashier their customer the manager and the only person standing in line staring at me my friends were already halfway out the gate when I realized I should leave number 11 and this fat kid gets stuck in the play place and when I was sent in to pull her out I got sued for reckless endangerment of a child in appropriate contact with a child I seriously wanted to punch the parents [ __ ] got me fired and helped me in court for three months number 10 I worked at McGee sway back in the day 13 years ago and before I started a kid climbing on top of the equipment fell off and broke his arm a photographer came to the store to take photographs of the equipment for the pending lawsuit the store manager gave the OK and the guy went out to do what he came to do the owner of our franchise came in found out that the guy was outside on the playground and went out to confront the guy after a few heated comments the store owner starts to shove the photographer telling him to get the hell off my property with kids watching all the kids came running into the store screaming and crying while parents tried to dodge the now full-out fistfight on the playground two grown men screaming and punching while kids were screaming like Jesus was on them I didn't last long at that job number nine my sister had to clean piss that went from the top of the slide to the bottom she started at the top like an idiot and lost her footing number eight there was a kid's birthday party and they were having a group photo taken in front of the play place I'm my brother's suggestion I went to the top of the play place and photo bombed their photos by pushing my ass against the porthole one of the parents had those instant print cameras and the kids were crowding around looking at it I sneaked a peek to check out my photo bomb and my ass turned out majestic I still like to think that the photo is framed somewhere to this day on someone to mantelpiece number seven I worked at McDonald's six or seven years ago and once a child pissed at the top of the play place the stairs are split-level the whole way down so it became a cascading waterfall of urine this is where things start to get weird McDonald's is an equal opportunity employer and we had hired a mentally handicapped lady to clean the dining area she was the first employee alerted to the situation by one of the children this mentally handicapped lady immediately scalded the child and told him to clean it up and gave him a bar towel this child did exactly what he was told and began crying as he became drenched with piss he ran out of the play place and explained to his mother what had transpired the mother furious storm to the counter to demand a man she was ready to sue McDonald's and settle out of court for a large undisclosed amount the cleaning lady was dismissed I should also mention that yours truly had to clean the play place in the end [ __ ] number six some little kids [ __ ] in the twisty slide but it was in the middle of the slide so the kids at the top couldn't see it so kids would slide down unknowingly into a makeshift [ __ ] and slide and get [ __ ] on their backs faces back of their heads hands etc it was horrendously disgusting worst day of my life number five Mick dick holes employee here no play place at my location but I'm gonna vent about mostly irrelevant things so you have some insight about working fast-food lunch rush eight-hour shift hungover as [ __ ] working the register people ordering happy meals not specifying which Happy Meal just saying a happy meal me which happy meal would you like parent bends down to their child to ask child Mobile's hides head in shame meanwhile the line is growing longer as customers become more disgruntled a bead of sweat begins to form on my brow as the mother tells her child to tell me which meal an eternity elapses before mere infant utters its first incomprehensible words once again child whispers something in Gaelic sorry I didn't quite get that small baby babbles pear will not clarify time to guess orders a large sweet tea three Mik doubles and a large fry she's watching your weight so she asked for no salt on the fries sees no irony in this we have to make a whole new batch of fries for this request she stops talking will that be all for you she says yes but what she's meant to say was no because she continues to order more food almost as soon as I press the Pay Now button on the register orders more lard all right will that be here to go uh looks the child gazes towards the dining room looks up for something anything she just wants a sign for go my brain is no melted blood trickles out of my ear there is no forego button on my register so I make a guess once again there's no way I've gotten this order correct I accept the feed all right that'll be 2367 the woman's face drops the room is absolutely silent except for the racing beat of my heart I thought sweet teas were a dollar they used to be a dollar all over the country her wages building as I stuttered they used to be now they're a dollar and 19 cents the extra 19 cents is blood money in this business nostrils flare a pissed-off sigh she now wants me to change the price even though I'm clearly a minimum wage employee not the CEO of McDonald's you people are robbing us blind woman has mistaken me for a commissioned sales person instead of a cashier she now proceeds to go through the price of every item she ordered to only find that yes indeed our register is capable of simple addition she has b23 ones and a bucket of change that somehow only amounts to 65 cents I'm sorry I still need two more cents rolls her eyes but Forks it over alright your order number will be two hundred and sixty-seven the order has taken all but two maybe three minutes tops but now the orderly line has turned into an impatient lynch mob they feel Hunger Now formic chickens are those precious McNuggets but for blood I on the other hand thirst for liberation my lips mannish have been awkwardly into a smile as I say I can help whoever's next a large man walks over and says are you guys still serving breakfast I respond saying it's 2:00 p.m. all right then I'll just have a shamrock shake it's December number four some kid climb all the way to the top of the slide and took his goddamn pants off and slid down the slide problem is he shat the whole way down there was a [ __ ] trail of [ __ ] spanning the entire second half of the slide we only found out because some other [ __ ] kids slid down that slide and came out covered in chunky liquid [ __ ] and began crying uncontrollably number three kid vomited and proceeded to pick up fistfuls of chunks and throw them at other children who then vomited we closed the play place for like two weeks to have the whole thing heavy-duty cleaned and sterilized by a higher out company she yelled I'll show you clean ripped the hazard tape off the door broke the lock on the door and proceeded to put her finger down her throat and barf all over that was right before I quit the last thing I heard she was trying to sue our owner stating that the chemicals in the play place but she broke into made her sick and she was hospitalized number two I will now tell the story of the best thing ever saw in Playland this was at Burger King not McDonald's in the South these things are simply called Playland a few years ago me and my kids are eating at Burger King and of course we had to eat in play line because kids Burger King had at this time and still talking garbage cans in there this was probably intended as a way to get kids to throw their own trash so employees wouldn't have to do it so much whoever designed those things knew nothing about children pushing your garbage in past that spring-loaded flap which says thank you on it the trashcan would say thanks for the garbage or something like that you know things a talking trash Canton would say any parent could tell you what would happen next children know that trash cans cannot actually speak so each successful child having been congratulated by the trash can would do the obvious thing and put his head inside the trash can to see who's in there then the spring-loaded thank you flop with swing shut and grabbed the children by the neck in a matter of a squirrel trap and they could not get their heads back out there would be flailing and muffled screams and they would have to be rescued by their mom this would happen over and over and over again kids of a certain age will put their heads into a talking trash can I mean if they just saw the last kid get garrotted by it it kind of makes them even more curious just one kid after another getting choked by this evil instrument of torture thanks for the trash it was the best thing I'd ever seen kids leave new kids take their place new victims for the magic trash can I never got tired of it next time we went to Burger King they weren't there anymore but I hope someday they will come back for another try number one so my brother and I about 12 and 10 respectively scarf down our meals and started exploring the play area now this wasn't your average play place it was huge and they had these weird child sized Harnish stuffed animals attached to the floor with Velcro I didn't know who came up with them or how they were meant to be played with but they resembled a harder lighter punching bag in texture back to the story though our stepmom sat below finishing her food while she glanced upwards every now and then to make sure we were okay my brother and I soon parted ways in the massive structure some time later random kid and I squeeze past each other while crossing paths and one of the tubes as soon as we were clear he glared back at me and growled touch me again and I'll slit your [ __ ] throat now this child couldn't have been any older than me so you can understand my shock at hearing this uttered by a child that was no older than 10 as if he had a weapon he was gone before I could process what he said and I didn't retort oh well back to playing I guess some kids are just crazy sometime later my brother and I met at the top of the spiral slide being that he got there before me he went down first as I'm sliding down the spiral I hear an argument unfolding below as I emerge from the bottom of the play place the scene becomes clear psycho kid was all up in my brother's face screaming unintelligible threats I guess the little [ __ ] took his time getting off the slide and my brother slid right into him the kid is getting more and more aggressive screaming louder and getting physical shoving my brother's chest like the little [ __ ] thugs always do when they're trying to intimidate my brother who I'll point out is a head taller than this [ __ ] delinquent is keeping his cool and trying to tell the [ __ ] to [ __ ] off the kid's dad is nearby and get this the hick asked [ __ ] mumbles you tell him Jimmy in between mouthfuls of burgers a couple things went through my head before I acted the kids unfortunate excuse for a father couldn't care less if the world ended tomorrow my brother can as well beat this younger [ __ ] without some chance of repercussions my approaching stepmom is it good 5 10 seconds away on the other side of the play area and I need to reassert my dominance over this hillbilly spawn I needed to reassert my dominance over this hillbilly spawn whose best experience with violence probably comes from WCW or the WWE he didn't see me coming I ripped a nearby giant duck from its velcro binding and brandish it by the tail charging towards his violent little brat I don't even think he turned around at all the first blow hit him square in the back with all my weight behind it he tumbled onto the floor in front of my brother gasping for air I guess I knocked the wind out of him but I wasn't finished slit my [ __ ] throat will you I shouted with every swing he was crying for his daddy but by that time my stepmom had already dragged us away she was about to end the trip early before we explained the situation in the end she decides not to punish me gives a heavy sigh and chalked it up to another case of small-town madness got an idea for a top 15 list be sure to leave it in the comments below be sure to subscribe for future videos thanks for watching

Channel: Top15s

Views: 4,522,551

Keywords: McDonald's (Business Operation), mcdonalds, mcdonalds playplace, top15s, mc donalds, funny, hilarious, Comedy

Id: 58uVu6vnCIE

Length: 15min 28sec (928 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 16 2015