Tom Ballard Live - 2012 Global Atheist Convention

thank you big red applause - Simon tell your house side everybody give a guy his lemon me an amazing job all right yes certainly not in the atheist convention time to party come on go anyone snuck back to Jesus blood and let's get messy yeah I think we should all share right we should all just get totally Magadh right rock up to Mass tomorrow just start heckling yeah when Jesus came back from the dead God loves us all wanker show us your tits anyway that's what I'll be doing anyway I joined say from the outset ladies and gentlemen if at any point tonight you don't find me interesting or funny in any way I have a gold pass so if you if you're not laughing it's probably because you're scum and you don't smart enough to get my jokes so just want to put that out there thank you sarcastic [ __ ] okay all right everyone no that's nice I'm not I'm sorry I'm drunk okay I've had a lot of all right I'm worried about how tonight's gig is going to go Geoffrey Robertson stole all my best persecution of Iranian atheist material a lot of zing has lost this but there you go what a downer am i right okay it is genuinely not I had a pleasure to be here tonight ladies and gentlemen I'm an atheist I'm a gay vegetarian atheist yeah I'll be running for prime minister in 2000 and unlikely thank you I'm passionate about atheism right but I'm respectful and you know I tell my audiences if you're that's just my opinion which is having a theist if you're religious I'm not saying you're an idiot but I am thinking that with my head yeah I don't even argue with religious people anymore right I just say you know it's just pointless really if someone tells you they're religious and they love God and they love Jesus I say that is awesome that is great I totally respect that hey you want to buy some of these magic beans there are only four grand each I'm a rationalist you know I love science and I love you know raisin and that kind of thing I like science is amazing whew all the things that science and technology has given us over the years ladies and gentlemen credible innovation in medical science in the you know space exploration the iPhone app Grindr you know more gay men having anonymous sex than ever before and it's all thanks to these three men ladies and gentlemen right here at the front give it up for them to me the same room is some of the speakers here with the convention it's genuinely humbling ladies and gentlemen I love Richard Dawkins professor Dawkins you started this whole journey for me it's incredible I love damned in it I was I like to call him father Christmas oh man how read was it today watching Canada talked about how Santa Claus doesn't exist because in my head I'm like I agree with you but Santa appears to be on stage giving a very good lecture right now I like it many of you here tonight I'm sure you know I was also a huge fan I am continue to be a huge fan of Christopher Hitchens may he decompose in peace didn't know that would go down I'll be honest with you I feel like it's full of laughter that when do people don't believe in objective moral truths he groaning at me but I gotta say ladies gentlemen that I'm a Harris guy Sam Harris is my know one guy I'm sorry he's my favorite is so smart he's so funny and chiseled he's friends with Ricky Gervais I just want to go meditate with him in a cave you asked me there is such thing as hell that's a world without his piercing blue eyes am i right ladies okay they're probably feeling very uncomfortable right now so thank you so much for having a here tonight it really it's amazing timing for me to be here to the month of April this year sees me happier than a pig and in Jerusalem not only do I get to speak here this intellectually stimulating and inspiring convention that focuses on matters that really excite me and challenge me matters that are really close to my heart I'm also currently performing at the Melbourne Comedy Festival where I get to say whatever I want I get to make strangers laugh every night and I see my comedic heroes ply their trade and I hang out with my friends and I regularly drink myself into another dimension this weekend sees two of my biggest passions in life coming together in a glorious orgy of punchlines and self-righteousness and that's what I'd like to talk to you about tonight ladies and gentleman all youse all you smarty pants with you degrees and your books you you use a heap smart so I probably can't tell you anything about science or philosophy or theology that you don't already know but I thought that maybe I can contribute a little something and provoke some thought here tonight my way of discussing what I think is the really really fascinating relationship between comedy and atheism and criticism of religious belief it's my contention that are really strong commonalities between irrational thought processes that lead people like you and me to atheism and the very role the very job description of a comedian furthermore I think it's really important that we all continue to laugh at God comedy can be a really powerful tool in the fight to challenge religious dogma and undermine religious religions persevering credibility of which I think we'll all agree it's clearly unworthy I'll also be making several dick jokes throughout my address tonight because that's a natural defense mechanism I have because I'm fundamentally an insecure person and I feel your judgment Plus every time I talk about being a I heralded the Sun colonists loses her wings I don't know if you knew that that it's true now obviously not all comedians are atheists or agnostics there's an entire industry of Christian comedy some comics spend their entire lives on the Christian conference circuit serving up lukewarm infantile izing clean mediocre scripture based routines about all the hilarious mishaps and scrapes you can get into when you live your life for Jesus oh don't you hate it when you spill your fruit juice on your Bible and the pages get stuck together and you're looking for guidance people then won't come a father you look over got anything all you really got me today God good Friday more like bad Friday am i right basically imagine Ned Flanders doing prop comedy and a few zany impressions and you'll get a general idea of the dizzying heights the Christian comedy can reach now certainly there are plenty of comedians of faith who totally you know blow that stereotype out of the water and they produce hilarious innovative stand-up Robin Williams is one of the funniest people who has ever lived and is a card-carrying member of the Episcopal Church Bill Cosby is religious Ellen DeGeneres is a believer the recently deceased Patrice O'Neal was a god-fearing genius British pan master Tim Vine he's a devout Christian American comedian Jim Gaffigan is both Catholic and hilarious as is Fiona Lachlan and others Melvin's own brilliant Muslim political comedy duo fear of ground planet they're amazing father Bob Maguire is a thousand times funnier than I will ever be someone has got to give that guy a Comedy Central special Dennis Bill Hicks now you know I be hesitant to class Bill Hicks as an atheist myself right he was clearly very critical of organized religion and evangelists it was passionate about science and was very progressive on issues such as abortion homosexual sexuality gun control violence and it even pornography a defining Hix routine he's probably seen this is his take on the wearing of the crucifix he asked do you think if Jesus ever come back it ever comes back to you does you really want to see a cross again it's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a little rifle rifle pendant going hey just thinking of John it's funny when he says it all right the Hicks did hail from a church-going god-fearing Southern Baptist family Jesus Christ was clearly a hero of his and he did preach a certain conception of God he regularly talked of an all-encompassing peace-loving universally identifying God one that wanted love and joy not violence who existed within the context of scientific discovery and who best of all deliberately gave us marijuana so we could expand our consciousness and evolve as a species now I don't know the PB but I can certainly get on board the idea of pulling bongs for Humanity I can do that so I'm not saying that being religious doesn't necessarily mean you can't be funny and interesting but the odds just aren't in your favor the list of openly atheist or agnostic comedians is amazing okay it really is you ready for this here we go check this out on our team we've got Ricky Gervais Bill Maher Daniel Kitson George Carlin Kathy Griffin louis c.k Patton Oswalt Jimmy Carr Dave Gorman Robin it's Tim mentioned David Cross John Cleese Rodney Dangerfield Matt Groening Eddie Izzard Penn & Teller Katherine Dabney Will Anderson Janeane Garofalo Doug Stanhope Ben Elton Stuart Lee Ross Noble Jim Jeffries Stephen Fry Carl Reiner Sarah Silverman Mikey Robins Lewis Black Bill Bailey bill Billy Connolly Woody Allen Simon Taylor Charlie Chaplin's tell a young Larry David and Dylan Morin and that's what just starters ladies and gentlemen we maybe go to hell but suck my funny win up heathens we're headliners that's what we are now I think that's a really impressive list right but that's just the comedian's that we know about I feel pretty safe in saying that the overwhelming majority of my comedian friends would say that they hold no religion they just don't necessarily cover it in their acts because it's almost become a bit too easy it's almost become hack to do so it's a pretty rare mainstream Australian comedy audience there won't be happy did hear some classic gear about all the crazy logical loopholes you can find in the Bible my friend Michael workman is a brilliant young comedian who doesn't put on these really lovely beautiful shows and I told him I was preparing the speech about the link between comedy and atheism and he just kind of went yeah making jokes about religion it's it's kind of like kicking a puppy you know it's so easy so why why would there be this higher than average rate of atheism in the comedy community well I think it has something to do with fighting like clowns and vaudeville acts and court jesters before a stand-up comedians speak truth to power now yes we're off and about you know just making you laugh and let me have fun letting escape your troubles then you have a good night out and yes tickets to my show doing stuff are on sale now 7 p.m. Tuesday two Sundays the Swiss Club thank you very much but to me stand-up can be about a lot more than that right it's about fighting comedians hate any whiff of duplicity or pretension makes stand-ups very very angry we're quite a cynical Bunch and we're quite happy to [ __ ] about everything from mediocre musical comedians with guitars or six stringed applause machines as well we refer to them to prop comedians - boring serious theatre too whimsical sentimental nonsense - the scourge of reality TV to the sinister machinations of giant organizations such as advertising companies or governments or the church commies tried to point out and we hold up that in front of an audience when we say hey check out this crazy we try and make a laugh about it now a lot of comedy I think is like science comedians are obsessed with examining the life that we get just as scientists may do they're examining on a molecular or subatomic level or even a grander cosmic scale comedians get stuck right into the mundane minutiae of everyday relatable existence so someone like Jerry Seinfeld's as well stepping back and trying to make sense of the big picture of the whole messy ordeal see someone like Bill Hicks or George Carlin there's so much comedy Gould's we had just by looking at the stupid things we human beings do believe and tolerate and simply asking why the do we do that moreover like scientists comedians have to convey some sense of rationality and logic if they want an audience to come along with them right logical progression of thought is almost always imperative to the setup of a joke regardless of there's a meanness of the subject matter right you can be telling an audience why we should install a monkey as prime minister but the thought process you prosecuting still has to be intelligible in some way otherwise the gap between setup and punchline is going to be too far and people aren't going to laugh you have to be on the same level as the audience you have to make a good case based on evidence which for a comedian is usually made up of anecdotes and observations about normal life they're not exact Sciences sure but they're made up of observable fact mostly sometimes we make stuff up but that's just because life doesn't provide particularly satisfying narrative arcs or coders so we just kind of fix that up for structural considerations okay and anyway at least we're comedians make up we keep it within the realm of possibility I've never seen a comedian get away with a punch on it's like yeah and then my girlfriend rose from the dead three days later because she was the Messiah don't you hate that so comic sake okay and by that I mean really sinister malicious okay like a lot of what Sam Simmons and Ross Noble do is on the surface it's hilarious nonsensical ridiculous heart tingling created for fun and joy and it's funny because they're grown men talking about ninjas and monkeys and wearing bread on their shoes and smashing taco shells of their chests and it's funny because the they'd like to do is even happening in that art world right but because comedians often have quite a bit of time slash drugs on their hands they think a lot about the sinister malicious societal and it makes us genuinely angry and many of us try to turn that anger into comedy by enthusiastically mocking said when it comes to ladies and gentlemen no one beats religion no one politics sometimes gives it a run for its money but generally as a rule really religion wins gold in the Olympics every single time as now here's one example for me right after the global financial crisis you had a lot of religious leaders coming out and saying see this is God's Way of punishing us for all our sins the GFC that is the Lord punishing us for our sins and I just thought really because if so God's really mellowed out with the punishments you know the Chiefs it was bad for a lot of people but he used to make it rain frogs from the sky he's looking down going yeah there's a lot of singing buggery going on down there I could flood the entire world as I've done before or I could put them in quite a tricky fiscal situation yeah you know you're a cease for the time I'm through with you and there's so much when religion intersects with sedge late at sexual education for me right the Catholic education system it preaches abstinence abstinence is the only way you can be hundred percent sure you'll never get pregnant abstinence is the only way give me a hundred percent sure you'll never get pregnant really tell that to the Virgin Mary yeah she might have a different angle on abstinence I was saving myself then go put a baby in me oh he came to me in a dream no sounds like he spiked your drink in his classic succinct form Jimmy Carr slices for religious when he says if for all God's children what's so special about Jesus well the Sarah Silverman unique take on the crucifixion everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans and one of the few people that believe it was the blacks her words not mine there's endless examples of crapping cracking ly good comedy coming out of tearing religion a new one I'm sure many of you experienced that last night with Jim Jefferies and Ben Elton and still young and stuff and then Ted actually touched on this today right and I'm really passionate man I'm really passionate my comedy really passionate about atheism and that's why I was very interested to read an opinion piece published in the punch website back in February by Steve Kroger apologies if I'm mispronouncing that it was entitled god I'm sick of comedians laughing at religion somebody made Simas to was on one of the emails that the organizers of the convention sent out to people in his piece Kroger voices his confusion as to why ten out of the 30 for speakers booked for this weekend our comedians why comics are such common sites that atheist rallies he seems to take the view that mockery or ridicule of religious beliefs is highly offensive and are called for and damaging to the cause of atheism for this conference in particular he writes billed as a celebration of reason why in nearly one third of the speakers brought in to have a poke and a giggle Krueger seems to think that the notions of comedy and reason can't coexist when in fact to me when it comes to religion I think the two go hand in hand as a rational reasonable person when I am told that a child it was born of a virgin or the Jonah lived in a whale or the dinosaur fossils were put here to force or the Mohammed flop to have it on a winged horse or the Christian music is good I am compelled to laugh Kriger cragger goes on to acknowledge the wealth of comedy that exists an expensive religion and many rights granted there's much about religion that can appear confusing and even difficult to believe it's also easy to do a quick scan of the fringes and discover a barn full of straw man to encapsulate everything you don't like about religion but this doesn't explain why atheists so frequently resort to satire mockery ridicule and scorn ah yes resorting to satire the lowest of the low how dare we employ that entertaining intellectual device that for hundreds of years has been used to peacefully get insightful II undermine bad ideas and inflated egos what a bunch of ourselves we are and look okay I'll take your point forget about your fringes of religion and all your straw men okay although there is a lot of fun to be had there I'm gonna go straight to the start I'm happily to do jokes about the very basics of your religion the central tenets are just as take the crucifixion right I think that it actually happened matters that had actually taken place imagine how annoyed you'd be if you were Jesus's funeral planner you know you put it all this work you put it on there you go back to the dead and you're going ah no refunds alright and I always wanted what Jesus had been crucified on December 25th what have been a bit of awkward winnows Christians there to celebrate Easter myths you would know what to do they say draaga young comedians to stop doing judgement religion but maybe religion should stop being such a gold line as long as you keep serving up material by reaffirming your faith in fairy stories of the Iron Age and I keep selling tickets we're gonna be stuck in this crazy situation long here's my favorite bit of the the Kroger article right here i'ts I've been to more than my fair share of Christian conferences I've never attended a single conference where those of other beliefs atheists or otherwise with a subject of ridicule I'm not suggesting this never happens but on the whole Christians are respectful of those with opposing police oh yeah yeah yeah Christians are very respectful of people opposed beliefs they respect other people's right to have those beliefs and hung on hang on to those beliefs as they burn for eternity in hell that's the Christian Way also why not do a bit of ridiculing you know and mockery of atheists add new Christian conferences I say go nuts if you truly think and know that we're wrong and you're right why not ridicule and satirize and question and undermine and offend I like being offended being offended means I'm being challenged and I'm compelled to re-evaluate what I think about the world and sometimes it sees me change my mind completely and sometimes it makes me believe what I believe in even more strongly but I always learn something from that experience that's half the problem with organized religion the ideas that are rigged is rigorously tested or challenged or debated there's a hierarchy telling you what to think and do a comedian will tell you what she thinks but she doesn't expect you to really you know believe that on the percent and walk out of there going yeah airline food is kind of let's burn down Qantas yeah my other favorite part of the article and on the punch was the author's byline you know the end they tell you how the author of it and the end of this article had said Steve Kruger has a passion for Jesus Rachel his wife social media and politics in that order which i think is nice I think like you know like Stevens wife I too one day wanna marry a man who will put me below a carpenter that's been dead for over 2,000 years but above Twitter that's what I want I'm only out of time ladies and gentlemen but before I go I I just want to share with you something that I hope in some way will illustrate the impact comedy can have when it comes to these kind of concerns this is something that really personally affected me during this comedy festival now my show is called doing stuff it's about political activism and engagement and the huge disparity between the remarkable political events of countries like Egypt Libya and America over the past 12 months and the depressingly limp state of affairs here in Australia the last 20 minutes is effectively an angry rant against those silly [ __ ] who still even in 2012 oppose marriage equality it's it's tough it's tough being gay in 2012 we still have so much still fair way to go with gay marriage rights and adoption rights and stuff and it's depressing to do anything about a ladies in general are all human beings and they all want the same thing so we want to be happy we want to be equal before the law we want to be respected we want to be on a spit roast between two AFL footballers okay whatever there is your political correctness up the punchline of my joke so thank you the last 30 minutes my show is a big rant against those people who still oppose marriage equality in 2012 people like Miranda Devine Andrew Bolt Bob Katter Margaret Court all people of faith I'm really proud of the show and it's been fun to do and people seem to like it my friend Michael Chamberlain sent me a text the other day he's saying hey dude you did something right there's a family friend who saw your show the other night she's conservative as hate swearing very Christian she likes you so much she's coming back with friends now I don't know what they're gonna do to me but I appreciate him I just to give that some context at one point of the show I tell a story about a man vomiting on my penis so it's like it's not a family show bring out the dessert okay so that was a very nice thing but the best response I've received for this show it's the best response I received for anything I've ever done ever comedy wise or anything it was an email received by a young guy by the name of Brendon and I just like to share that email with you and then the hilarious captain Dobey will come out Brendon writes I was at your show tonight and I laughed my bits off I want you to know how much I admire you for standing for what you believe and most importantly using your influence to make people question their ideas and viewpoints you helped me come to a decision tonight my dad is the president of the seventh-day Adventist Church in the South Pacific which is a gay hating denomination the fact that he's a gay younger son is a relatively open secret but not truly acknowledged I was sent a Facebook message a few weeks ago from some ex South seventh-day Adventist churches wanting to point out the damage to this lack of acceptance can have and in fact turn me into a poster boy for a movie they were making about the issue I turned them down not wanting to take the hard route and potentially hurt my family I realized now after tonight that I should have stood up some things are more important have greater impact on the defenseless and require courage if the opportunity comes up again I will take it thanks for the kick up the ass I don't know if your journey was difficult but I hope that my story helps add to the mosaic of you finding it worth it we need to keep laughing in God ladies and gentlemen because it's working thanks very much have a good night thank you very much thank son you

Channel: Atheist Foundation of Australia Inc

Views: 24,331

Rating: 4.6296296 out of 5

Keywords: AFA, GAC, Global Atheist Convention, 2012GAC, Atheist Foundation, Tom Ballard

Id: ve2TdLmgx2c

Length: 24min 47sec (1487 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 13 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/PWC1004]

OP, could you also post this to r/AtheistVids?

[u/sugaryatea]

I feel this is really interesting and insightful. It's good to make fun of religion. Kick it and then kick it while it's down. Hopefully someday everyone is laughing at religion and how ridiculous the whole concept was.

[u/[deleted]]

He brought up the fact that religion is too easy a target and perhaps the commedians are backing off. Hopefully that is not the case. I saw another video recently, I think it was Sam Harris, that said this kind of thing has happened before (Mark Twain era) and the atheists relaxed a bit and BAM the religious got another foothold.

We have momentum. We need to follow through and move current religion to their proper place in history, with Zeus, Thor (I know that is sad) and all the other primitive myths and superstitions...

[u/Blind_Moth]

This definatley needs more views