TOEFL: INDEPENDENT WRITING #1 with Jay!

hello everybody welcome to this first live class by e2 language comm in this one we're going to look at the TOEFL independent essay and I should probably introduce myself first my name is Jay and I'm one of the expert English teachers here and also expert TOEFL teachers so let's get started what I want you to do today is actually write a full independent essay of over 300 words so we're gonna do it step by step I'm going to show you how to write the introduction I'm going to show you how to write the paragraphs I'm gonna show you how to write the conclusion I want you to do it with me because on test day if you've done this before it will be so much easier I'm also going to show you an excellent structure so you'll know how to structure your essay on test day as well there'll be no surprises so you can get a high score so let's have a look at this the TOEFL independent essay what we're going to do I'm going to describe the task to you I'm going to show you an essay structure we're going to write an introduction we're going to write two paragraphs we're going to write a conclusion the objective is for you to understand how to write this essay okay let me describe this task to you on test day you will need to write an essay of between 300 and 350 words that gives your opinion and specific reasons and examples to support your opinion let's have a look at today's essay question today's essay question is this it says it has three parts mind you and they're all going to be pretty similar on test day whoopsie what do I want I want I want that one there so let's have a look says here do you agree or disagree with the following statement this is what it's all about eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots eventually all jobs have a look at this little adverb here or adjective rather all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots okay just quickly into the chat type agree or disagree because this is the most important question you will ask yourself on test day do you agree that all jobs will be done by an AI or do you disagree you're curious to know let's have a look disagree okay fine disagree disagree fine then you need to use reasons and examples to support your opinion so we need an essay structure we need an essay structure and we're going to use us well really a four paragraph structure we're definitely going to have an introduction paragraph one and paragraph two possibly have a paragraph three if we are under if we write less than 300 words then we can include an additional paragraph but usually you're just going to have this one this one this one and this one okay you definitely need a conclusion as well more specifically let's look at the sentences within each of those paragraphs I'm this is what we're going to do today I'm going to show you how to write each of these sentences so the introduction is going to have three sentences okay your paragraphs are going to have four sentences each we're going to follow a really specific and tight structure and your conclusion will have two sentences so the beauty of this is if you remember if you practice this structure and you memorize this structure the three sentence introduction the four sentence paragraph the two sentence conclusion on test day no matter what question you get you can use this structure it's very flexible we're not memorizing a template we're memorizing a structure it's different okay all right fine let's first of all before we start writing we need to plan we need to spend a minute or two thinking about what we're going to say because one of the biggest mistakes you can make on test day is you see the question prompt and you just start writing and without a plan it could go anywhere and we want to follow a very straight and direct and and in the purposeful path through the essay okay so the plan you're going to ask yourself really going to ask yourself three questions maybe four three questions the most important question that we've just asked herself ourselves is what's your overall opinion do you agree or do you disagree that's the big question because if you agree that all jobs will be done by robots that's going to be the theme in the thesis of your essay or if you disagree and you think that robots can only do some human jobs that will be the path of your essay so this is the biggest question you ask yourself what's my overall opinion once you've asked yourself that and let's say that you've let's say that you disagree and you think not all jobs will be done by robots what's your first reason you need to come up with the reason why and then you also need to come up with a second reason because this will become your paragraph one and this will become your paragraph two the reason why so if you disagree and you say that not all jobs can be done by robots what's your reason one what's your reason to just spend 30 seconds thinking of two main reasons please alright let me show you my reasoning let me show you I looked at this question and I thought ok I I agree I think all jobs will be done by robots and then I came up with my reason one my reason to let me show you so my overall opinion is yes I agree ok yes or I agree fine now reason one because robots intelligence is increasing it's always increasing so eventually they can do any job because they'll be smart enough to do any job my second reason is that not only will their intelligence their mental intelligence their IQs increase but also I think their emotional intelligence will also increase so not only can they do the jobs of mathematicians and scientists but they can also do the jobs of doctors and teachers and nurses which require an emotional aspect to the job cool let's write our introductions so as I said we have a three sentence introduction we're going to write a general statement based on the prompt then we're going to rewrite the prompt in our own words then we're going to have a third sentence that outlines what our main opinion is okay so let's do sentence 1 write a general statement based on the prompt so what does that mean a general statement general statement based on the prompt well here's the prompt here here's the prompt here it says eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots I wrote machines are becoming more common and more intelligent that's my general statement based on the prompt your turn please spend one minute writing your sentence all right let's have a look at this that's all right that's all right cool all right good so you've written your general statement because the introduction looks like an inverted pyramid you start very broadly and then you go into specifics okay so start with a very broad background sentence that introduces the topic to the reader about robots and artificial intelligence for example the next sentence we get a bit more specific this is where we rewrite the question prompt in our own words so sentence two we rewrite the question prompt in our own words let's look at the question prompt again the question prompt should always be at the in the front of your mind you your everything you write is about this prompt eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots so sentence - we rewrite the question prompt in our own words I wrote this it is thought by some people that artificial intelligence will reach a point where all human occupations will be able to be conducted by robots rather than people I want you to write rewrite this in your own words I'll cross mine out so you can't copy you have one minutes all right how did you go please feel free to write your sentences into the chat and the webinar or into the comments below on YouTube if you're watching this on YouTube by the way and you like it please click like remember to subscribe to this channel so you can get alerts every time we do a live class okay cool fine so you've written the second sentence of an introduction now we write probably the most important sentence of the entire essay the third sentence of our introduction tells the reader what we believe it tells the reader our opinion and this is critical okay this is absolutely critical so let's have a look at this sentence three this essay will this essay will this is what we're doing here what this essay will state your opinion so this essay will discuss why artificially intelligent robots will in fact take over all human work in the near future let's just see if that matches with the prompt the prompt says eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots this essay will discuss why artificially intelligent robots will in fact take over all human work in the near future so this and this say the same thing or at least I am agreeing I'm agreeing completely agreeing with this prompt here if you completely disagree that's also fine you could say this essay will disagree this essay will disagree that artificial intelligent robots can do all jobs in human jobs in the future that's not a problem oh I'm gonna lose my power point there sorry so please write your third sentence and tell the reader whether you agree or disagree and I want you to use this phrase here this essay will you have one minute all right how did you go just remember that third sentence of your introduction is absolutely critical because the examiner is going to read that then the examiners going to say okay this person has understood what to do this person has understood there is a prompt because very clearly you've said this essay will discuss why I agree or why I disagree and remember you must make a stand you must choose a side here cool good stuff so we've written the introduction let me read you mine and you'll see how well constructed and logical that structure is machines are becoming more common and more intelligent it is thought by some people that artificial intelligence will reach a point where all human occupations will be able to be conducted by robots rather than people this essay will discuss why artificially intelligence robots will in fact take over all human work in the near future so there's a few things going on here first of all it starts broad and then get specific okay it starts with that background sentence woopsie back back ground sentence that's what I did in the second sentence I rewrote the question prompt and the third sentence I said this essay will okay and then it gets down here and it's ready to take me through the paragraphs through my logical thinking the other important thing here is this third sentence this essay will discuss my opinion basically this essay will discuss whether I agree or disagree and that's crucial awesome now we're up to writing the first paragraph I'm going to teach you a really nice structure for each of the paragraphs so paragraph 1 remember in our plan we came up with our reason 1 so my reason one was that robots will take over all human jobs because robot intelligence is increasing it's always in this is my reason this is why robots will eventually do all human jobs sentence 1 I state that reason 1 very clearly and I'll show you mine in a second sentence - I give explanation I explain in one further sentence I add some detail or add some information sentence 3 I give an example sentence 4 I conclude that reason 1 so let me show you my first sentence in the last decade advances in machine learning have led to enormous increases in robot intelligence so my my idea was about increasing intelligence so I've said here bla bla bla bla bla increases in robot intelligence so please write the first sentence of your paragraph where you just state the reason 1 whatever it is very clearly even quite simply if you want you have one minute okay how did you go with that first opening sentence good good nice fabien yours is looking good I wouldn't say pretty sure pretty sure as an informal term I am pretty sure say be more be more firm with your opinion I'm completely sure and use formal language but apart from that that's looking good good alright good stuff so we've written the first sentence now we need to give an explanation we need to add information to that first sentence so my first sentence said in the last decade advances in machine learning have led to enormous increases in robot intelligence now I give explanation and I add information computer technology has become so pervasive that it is entered that it has entered every aspect of society and it has become so intelligent that we barely know that it is doing the work that it is that it is I've made a spelling mistake there that should say it anyway I've given my explanation you now have one minute to give an explanation to your opening sentence all right that's a tricky sentence to write because you really have you've got your opening sentence which introduces the idea of the paragraph or introduces your main reason and that second sentence just gives it more information and sometimes it's hard to think of that additional information but you need to have that second sentence to back up your first sentence to make your paragraph solid now we move on to the third sentence of the paragraph where we give an example okay so here's my example I said for example jobs are disappearing such as train conductors supermarket attendees and bank tellers for example I said basically if you remember correctly so I've said artificial intelligence is increasing robots are becoming more intelligent and then I said let's go back to my second sentence technology's become so pervasive that we don't even know it's there anymore and then I've said jobs such as bank tellers supermarket attendees and train conductors have disappeared as a result of this increase in intelligence okay so it's still directed at the question prompt I've given an example your turn to write your example sentence three of your paragraph let me kill mine so you can't say that all right what example did you use to to strengthen your paragraph you could have just said for example blah blah blah you could have said something like according to recent research you could have said 98% of people believe that robots will overtake their take their jobs so you've got sort of three options here you can give like a practical example you can talk about recent research or you can use a statistic or a percentage or something like that now you can just make this up you don't need to memorize anything like that it's not a test of your knowledge like that it's a test of your language abilities come all right so we've written a third sentence let's now write the final sentence of the paragraph this is sentence number four what we're going to do is conclude our reason one mind says this increases in machine intelligence in recent years has meant increases have meant an increase has meant oh my God my verbs wrong just let me get my verb right here I wrote this very quickly increases have meant that jobs are already disappearing and it won't be long until all jobs are being conducted by robots before you write your fourth sentence I want to read you my entire paragraph so you can see and hear the inherent logic and the in the strength of the structure of the paragraph so my opening sentence in the last decade advances in machine learning have led to enormous increases in robot intelligence now I add information computer technology has become so pervasive that it has entered every aspect of society and it has become so intelligence that we barely know that it is doing the work that it is now I give an example for example jobs are disappearing such as train conductors Supermarket attendees and bank tellers now I conclude my paragraph increases in machine intelligence in recent years have meant that jobs are already disappearing and it won't be long until all jobs are being conducted by robots you can see how this final sentence in particular links back to that question prompt in fact the entire paragraph is linked back to that question prompt so let's go back a slide and I want you to write your fourth sentence which is where you conclude your paragraph you wrap up your paragraph you have one minute cool how did you go nice nice nice nice looking good good well done fade me and that's a nice example well done it's a nice specific example so Fabian wrote that I'm gonna read your sentence for example one job that may not be replaced by machines would be dentistry because people are not willing to put their teeth to a robot or not not prepared for a robot to fix their teeth good it's a great specific example let's read your final concluding sentence of the paragraph technology is not always safe we have to know that people thanks to their own brain will be better good fine that's fine I personally disagree with your with your argument but that's beside the point you're being logical you're using examples you're using good argumentation and I think the TOEFL examiner would be very happy with your sentences there so that's good cool so we've just written our first paragraph and if you wrote it correctly it would be extremely logical it would follow it what's most important let me tell you this this paragraph relates to one reason it's not mixed okay it's not mixed a big problem that people have when they write paragraphs is they think hmm I'm going to write about safety I'm going to write about cost and I'm going to write about unemployment all in one paragraph and that is wrong you write about safety one paragraph on safety one paragraph on cost don't in other words don't mix your paragraphs together with different ideas one paragraph one idea and what you do in each sentence is you add information to it or you you you what's the word here you sort of unwrap it you could say or unpack it more so let's say you're writing one paragraph about safety as Fabien just did then because dentists who wants a robot to fix your teeth because the robot might be dangerous so the opening sentence is about safety right it makes it very clear that the paragraph is about dangers of robots doing specific jobs your second sentence adds information to that and talks about how humans are much more dexterous with their hands for example your third sentence the example talks about how for example imagine going to a dentist and having a robot knock your teeth out right and the fourth sentence concludes it by talking about safety what are the dangers of using robots so there's they're not mixed ideas one paragraph one idea that's really critical information to keep in mind cool so right I'm gonna go through this quickly how to write paragraph two you can write this in your own time by watching this video again I'm just gonna show you mine so we do the exact same thing I didn't write about physical aspects though my paragraph two is a different idea my first if you remember correctly my first paragraph was about intelligence whoops Intel increases of robots my second paragraph will be different it's about the emotional aspects or emotional intelligence of robots but I'm going to use the exact same structure I'm gonna state my reason to very clearly I'm gonna give an explanation or add information to it I'm gonna give an example then I'm going to conclude so here's my first sentence about emotional IQ of robots many people believe that robots will never have the emotional intelligence of humans to conduct specific jobs that require traits such as empathy or compassion okay so it's quite clear I said that some people think that robots will not have the emotional intelligence to do specific jobs very clear then I add information to it yes just because humans have emotional intelligence doesn't mean that machines can't be taught to mimic these emotions now I'm going to give an example for instance some robots are already beginning to take care of elderly people in nursing homes and they are programmed to show empathy and be kind to these people now I'm going to wrap up my paragraph with one sentence a concluding sentence it won't be long until robots will not only be able to mimic human emotions but they will be more emotionally intelligence than us and therefore they will be more qualified to do jobs that require emotion I'm going to read you my full paragraph from beginning to end let's have a look first at the four different sentences in here so I've got my opening then I add information then I give an example and then I conclude ok so many people believe that robots will never have the emotional intelligence of humans to conduct specific jobs that require traits such as empathy or compassion yes just because humans have emotional intelligence doesn't mean the machines can't be taught to mimic these emotions for instance some robots are already beginning to take care of elderly people in nursing homes and they are programmed to show empathy and be kind to these people it won't be long until robots will not only be able to mimic human emotions but they will be more emotionally intelligent than us and therefore they will be more qualified to do jobs that require emotion all of this is connected to that question prompt every sentence links to the next sentence and creates a logical flow through the paragraph in fact if you think about it this first sentence connects to that final sentence and the final sentence connects back to that first sentence this is the kind of logic that you want to create in your paragraphs to get a top score or in the TOEFL okay great paragraph three all right the only reason why you would add a paragraph three is if you were under the word count so if you write your essay with introduction paragraph one paragraph two conclusion and you're like 280 words you will need to add a paragraph three which won't destroy your overall structure you can just add it in there you can even make it shorter if you like as long as you get over 300 words so for me I don't need it because my word count is going to be above 300 so let's write the conclusion for our essay now here's the overall structure and I want to tell you how the conclusion links back to the introduction so remember I told you that sentence three of your introduction was the most important sentence of your essay well this now links to the first sentence of your conclusion because incentive three we said this essay will discuss and in the conclusion your sentence one says this essay discussed okay let me explain a little something else to you so this essay discussed reasons one from your paragraph and reason - from your paragraph so my reason one if you remember was intelligence is increasing and my reason - was I talked about emotional IQ or EQ emotional quotient or EQ so I'm gonna briefly mention those two themes that I mentioned in my paragraphs then I'm gonna give my overall opinion again okay this makes for a beautifully constructed essay so sentence 1 this essay discussed very briefly reasons 1 and 2 from paragraph 1 and 2 then I give my overall opinion let me read you my first sentence this essay discussed how robots int that's a terrible misuse of an apostrophe this is why you need to edit your essay robots intelligence is increasingly I wrote this very quickly and I didn't edit it this essay discuss how robots intelligence is increasing exponentially and how robots are also improving in areas that were only thought to be humanly possible such as emotional intelligence in other words I said this essay discussed paragraph 1 and paragraph 2 and I briefly summarized both ideas into paragraph and my idea here about emotional intelligence of the robots okay so I'm summarizing what the essay said so please go ahead and write the first sentence of your conclusion obviously you haven't come up with your number two paragraph yet but you can write it this essay discussed the idea from paragraph one and the idea from paragraph two that's the first sentence of your conclusion you have one minute all right let me have a look see how you guys are going all right all right are you ready to write the final sentence of your unbelievably high scoring TOEFL essay I know this all seems a little bit like you're probably thinking to yourself how am I going to remember this on test day how am I going to remember this on test day you need to practice this structure once you've written is essay you know two three four times using this structure it just starts to make sense and you just think wow I wish my teacher had have taught me this in high school that's what I think anyway I wish wish my teacher English teacher had have taught me this saying in high school but they didn't there you go we have to devise it ourselves Annie to language let's write the second sentence now we give our overall opinion in my opinion artificially intelligent robots will eventually have the capacity to carry out any task that is currently done by humans and will eventually take all of our jobs so in other words I said in my opinion I agree with this question prompts in my opinion I agree with this question prompts right and if you remember in my introduction I also agreed so you need to make sure that you're consistent with your introduction and your conclusion so please go ahead and write the final sentence of your essay using this phrase here in my opinion comma make sure that it links to this question prompt all right how did you go in that final sentence of your entire essay let me read you this essay explained the reasons why people are going to be smarter by contrast two robots are going to be smarter by contrast robots would be able to do many other activities but not at the same level as humans do good ok nice this essay explains idea from paragraph one idea from paragraph two now we move to the final sentence which was in my opinion robots will not be able to do some specific jobs that humans can currently do and therefore will not eventually do all jobs something like that cool cool cool cool cool all right we're nearly at the end guys and you've written an excellent essay let me read you my conclusion this essay discussed how rope but this was my terrible English robot robots robots ' intelligence let me read it again this as I discussed how robots intelligence is increasing exponentially and how robots are also improving in areas that were only thought to be humanly possible such as emotional intelligence in my opinion artificially intelligent robots will eventually have the capacity to carry out any task that is currently done by humans and will eventually take all of our jobs three doom and gloom but that's ok so my overall essay looks like this on test day this is what it looks like on my screen of my computer and I've written three hundred and thirteen words so I'm over 300 words so I'm safe I think now I'm going to get a top score in my TOEFL writing independent essay which is good news but quickly what I need to do before I submit my essay or before the 30 minutes runs out is I need to evaluate it so I'm going to ask myself a few questions I'm going to ask myself does my essay clearly address the topic in other words is everything I've written on that question prompt or did I start to drift off and talk about other things also secondly is my essay well organized did it use a logical structure the answer is yes if you use the e to language structure you will write an excellent essay did I have clear examples explanations and details yes every paragraph is structured like that lastly did I use correct sentence structure word choice grammar and vocabulary well if you need help with that and for total success check out ito language comm we can help you by giving you one-on-one tutorials giving you feedback on your writing you can join in our live classes that happen every day there's lots and lots of practice material on the website in your course if you need any help at all do check out the website thanks very much for coming my name is Jay I appreciate your coming along I hope you learned something today see you soon you

Channel: E2 TOEFL

Views: 19,012

Keywords: toefl, toefl writing, toefl ibt, toefl independent essay, engvid toefl, toefl integrated writing, toefl test, ibt, esl, e2 toefl writing, english, toefl practice, ets toefl, vocabulary, ets, toelf, toefl registration, toefl material, learn english, lessons, preparation, pronunciation, tips, english grammar, conversation skills, education, toefl listening, e2 language toefl, toefl e2 language, toefl e2, e2 toefl, question, toefl course, e2, study, inggris, E2 TOEFL, toefl jay

Id: vc6tAvp8g9k

Length: 47min 59sec (2879 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 17 2017