tiktoks that cut off my feet in a dark alley 😫

[Music] [Applause] [Music] yeah you're leaving the side men but thankfully you made the other guys but you didn't make me [Music] hi this story is recent tears of joy i was at a sleepover with my friend she's a girl and she asked me if i knew about porn i said yes and then she asked if i knew what lesbian porn is and how they do it i watch porn a lot so i knew how it was done then she asked if we could try it and i said yes and before you knew it we were scissoring it felt so good and no guy has ever made me feel like that i think i'm by now grin [Music] chewing i know you hear me come on hey darla let me see your tricks watch you didn't do it hey [Applause] good night girl yeah i'm legally blind you violated the law [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] wrap what is she gonna do with that why is she wrapping it around these trees is this just a creative way to litter i'm pretty sure her favorite hobby is wasting resources what could she possibly be doing she's making intense so she can safely camp in the wilderness i love camping i have to try this i went to the store and i bought as much plastic wrap as i possibly could after that i found the perfect trees and i started wrapping the plastic wrap around first i set up the walls to my tent and then i started setting up the floor i also decided i didn't want to waste as much plastic as that lady did so i was going to use way less plastic my friends doubted me and told me that i wouldn't be able to set up a tent using only plastic wrap so i needed to prove them wrong especially because if anything goes wrong with my tent i would fall 10 feet and really hurt myself added some final reinforcement now it was time to prove my haters wrong and test out the floor of my felt super secure i jumped on it and who knew plastic wasn't that strong because i fell to the ground and almost died [Music] oh [Music] [Music] oh [Music] in the sky [Music] if you ever see me fighting in the forest with a grizzly belt help [Music] things are getting a little wild at caillou's house daddy hurry i saw [Music] something y'all i can hear daniel walking down the street he has no lips how will he get a kiss kiss very ugly the antidote but every time i find it my defense is scream oh no you don't whoa i like it cuz so [Applause] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh for no reason [Applause] i like it cody he has no lips how will he get a kiss kiss very ugly no kiss for him [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] now i know what's real [Music] rather baby [Music] your heart don't stand to chase [Music] okay so apparently if you can't reshape your face yet by dysmorphia and i don't think i body dysmorphia but it's 20 20 and bad news keeps getting broke to me so here we go the bottom half is actually so hard to reshape i don't understand how to do it my mouth just keeps getting bigger and i think there's just some user error going on here how do i get my chin to be normal but my mouth be normal right when i got my chin normal something went wrong and now i look like this okay i think the bottom half's normal i just don't think the top half is anywhere near correct i think okay i think i'm almost there something's wrong though something's wrong with my chin that's what it is perfect this has gone to the point where i don't know what i look like anywhere but i know this is wrong i think this is as close as i'm gonna get so i'm gonna do the reveal now and one [Music] two [Music] [Applause] [Music] just the body piercer i just wanted to say if you're ever considering getting your nipples pierced the pearson can significantly elevate the sensitivity of your nipples and pleasure during sex with many people finding they can reach the big o with nipple play alone it can go in any different direction but horizontal is the most popular choice and you can choose from rings straight bars or barbells for your jewelry every procedure comes with a risk of infection but that is highly unlikely as long as you follow the aftercare instructions provided to you by your piercer expect to heal for 12 to 16 weeks but for those first two weeks avoid all oral contact with your nipples and also swimming pools and saunas this is a psa please don't do this [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] christmas tree at the christmas [Music] [Applause] come on face up to the top [Music] oh and then i'll take that insurance card you got there thanks for being quick to pull over for me you guys take care you too thank you what's the price well you don't know until you call them on the positive note like we shaved off like 10 minutes update i just looked how much my ticket's gonna be it's gonna be freaking 100 plus i thought i thought like five over i thought that was just like like 20 maybe like 25 but i'm in the hole random plastic chain no it's a 3d printed dinosaur with a flexible body i wish i was a dinosaur because all of them are dead [Music] birthday [Music] [Applause] do [Music] all she wanted [Music] yourself [Music] if that boy ain't giving up lick your lips and swing your hips girl all you gotta say is my name is no i will leave i am leaving i left i don't understand i don't understand all right let's get this interrogation started first who are you yes i am you no not me who are you i'm you wha okay you know what who are you i am who that's that's what i'm asking who are you yes sir i am who okay this is getting ridiculous just answer me who is it in this picture that is me it's you then you're under arrest for running a red light and 14 counts of manchester united no that is not me it is me that that's what i'm saying this this is you you it's him i am you but i am not me then who is this no no that is not me it is not you it is me who is me damn goddammit it's a lack of water for me it's the 24 7 manchester curry for me it's addiction to drugs and crime for me it's losing all your colonies and territories for me is that i can't send my child to school without them getting shot for me it's a lack of free healthcare for me it's having the most coronavirus cases for me a lie is having the most coronavirus deaths for me too it's the obesity for me islam and kinder surprise eggs but not guns for me hey yo be more specific all right it's having more gun deaths than afghanistan iraq and kenya and many more countries for me it's the racism for me it's the islamophobia for me it's the homophobia for me it's the i hate everyone that's not white and christian for me well it's prince andrew and katie hopkins for me it's a confederate flag for me it's jeffrey epstein for me it's harvey weinstein for me it's r kelly for me it's a republican party for me ah it's donald trump for everybody [Music] this girl is the nastiest skank [ __ ] i've ever met do not trust her she is a bugly [Music] [ __ ] [Music] [Music] you'll never [Music] can you make it go fast [ __ ] the fame all i want is some bands if she keep on lugging imma still remember watching my behavior cause you know i'm bad [ __ ] put a spell on him he ain't no chance i do what i please and you do what i ask he love my confidence and that's what you like if you think i'm stealing swag [ __ ] coming through me they watch me like i'm a new movie his baby mother is my groupie we got the club going up on a tuesday like a omg girl i'm a beauty if they don't go my way i get moody [ __ ] flexing on you is my duty i'm the big dog my nickname is [Music] damn damn damn down down [Music] down [Music] some [ __ ] [Music] [Music] yeah you happen with some wet ass p word bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass give me everything [Music] i can't stop staring at those [ __ ] touch any tops for like size or lose touch you know that audio that's like old girls show me what you look like normally and then show me what you have to wear to work and somebody tagged me and was like um you need to do this anyway i have one outfit and it's this dressing gown i wouldn't really call it alt um but also what i wear to work i'm a stripper i don't wear anything hey y'all i'm here with my best friend best friend show him your moves go oh you get it i guess okay i'm next best friend get the camera dougie hype me up open up that door that's right it ain't nothing to complain about what can i complain about now me [Music] oh my gosh this mega stallion maggie maggie [Music] actual goals [Music] [Music] [Music] yeah you're leaving the side men but thankfully you made the other guys but you didn't make me so i just bit the apple cause i loved you and why would you lie and then i realized you're just as naive as i am oh you're so traumatized it makes me wanna cry you dumb [ __ ] i love [Music] huh [Music] in the castle king in the castle have a chair i have a chair it's christmas john wake up it's [Music] christmas [Music] [Music] [Music] yes i am home is whenever i'm with you la la la la la take me home daddy i'm coming home [Music] oh my gosh let's make a stallion make it [Music] mom remember that chanel bag i really wanted that you wouldn't buy for me i let an old man [ __ ] me for it [Music] like i'm not just somebody's daughter yeah um can i get help on number three or three okay so basically you're gonna times the whole thing by three and write it down but don't write it down just think about it you know my wife cheated on me you're gonna write the whole thing down and times it by four and then don't think about it but just don't write it down oh okay [Music] i think we could do it if we try to say [Music] i'll god really gave me the brain of a golden retriever and all this ambition and said make it work and i went no thanks but no i won't be doing that i've replied to an email in months and you know what i spent six hours doing yesterday making a caterpillar hospital okay what is wrong with me i'm 23. i'm 23 years old and i spent my whole day in the backyard making a caterpillar hospital for a caterpillar that i thought was dying which i've now been informed was actually just resting just resting wassy well i hate it here [Music] [Music] it calls me [Music] [Applause] [Music] yes hey man what's the answer for number seven it's a 52 what i got nine are you sure you did that right yes but i'm pretty sure it's not 52. okay are you doubting me yeah you think i don't know how to do geometry so easy it's a easy as a pie that's a three 3.5 no 14159 i can do all this work without the calculator you can thank me rater i'm the math graduator damn what's your secret i study every day bro why you scroll through tick tock i'd be practicing the cell row banjo saxo and piano praying all these instruments so call me yo yo my yo damn man what's your gpa last time i checked i think it's uh 3.8 what i'm not feeling great why make me so sick that you are minecraft i made i'm gonna kick you out okay right say hi to my friend lydia she's your biggest fan she's back in england i'm sorry what'd you say i was looking at myself could you say hi to my friend lydia lydia hello you're welcome why is half my head cut off there you go okay if we need to just take it if you want you're welcome wow i look good look at that hair [Music] girl don't do it it's not worth it i'm not gonna do it girl i was just thinking about it i'm not gonna do it i did it the smell of winter i see you standing there covered head to toe [Music] and i know [Music] [Music] but right now what feels true is i want to spend all these next [Music] love [Music] hey everyone um oh i'm already crying i'm gonna try and do this with composure so i'm gonna show you guys something uh try and get the camera to focus see that dot in between the middle of my fingers yeah let me see if i can get it to focus see that hair coming out of it yeah that's dog hair and that's called a hair splinter um if left in there long enough they can actually cause a cavity get infected and i'd have to have surgery so i try to remove it daily i can squeeze it and it'll pop out like a little zit let me see if i could do that on camera so if you could see it there shoot oh well pardon me mr perfect i guess i forgot that you never ever make a mistake [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] let's have some fun this bait is sick i wanna take a ride on your disco stick let's have some fun this bait is sick i wanna take a ride [Music] oh my gosh not boss baby not freaking nebula from guardians of the galaxy oh blues oh look look at everyone what oh like like eight minutes i don't know james come here not the freaking seahorses wait how'd they get them to behave so well though oh my gosh even the fish single file oh my gosh this blimp is not doing her face justice santa overall four out of ten after all those years of you lying saying that you didn't hit me with a car and to find out that you finally admitted it on a viral a tick tock video i will see you in court hey baby what good morning sleepy hey how you hello guys welcome to the cheer hype house these are the skills you need to know before joining a simple cartwheel a round off jump a front limber and if you don't know what a front limber is it's basically just a handstand into a backbend and then you stand up a back bend and anything to show how flexible you are for example i did a toe touch a middle split if you're struggling to think of what your next tick tock should be about the next time you have an urge to comment on a video do it and when you're doing your duet on the right side you can enable your mic wait for a quiet part of that video and then just say it out loud this is a [ __ ] horrible idea very nice these are three life hacks that will save you so much money in 2021 are you having trouble eating cereal with a fork tape and put it around the holes in the floor you will be able to eat cereal much easier dude you want to drink something with a straw but you ran out of straws get a hot dog and poke a hole through the middle put the hot dog in your drink and take a sip better than a strawberry do your parents want you to clean your room but you don't feel like make sure your parents walked away and close your door on youtube and type in vacuum cleaner sounds at full volume your parents will think you're hard at work cleaning your room oh my gosh i cannot think of this megan the stallion lyric which one like the i'm a savage yeah no not that one it's whatever she says right before bada yadda yadda you know oh i think i remember ooey gooey melty cheesy i think my calling is to break apart and fall to pieces better yet invent a brand new method of ascension are the rumors true did he really kill those people he is a cisco be quiet he might hear us i don't know about you guys but i have the biggest erection all right let's get this interrogation started first who are you yes i am you no not me who are you i'm you wha okay you know what who are you i am who that's that's what i'm asking who are you yes sir i am who okay this is getting ridiculous just answer me who is it in this picture that is me it's you then you're under arrest for running a red light and 14 counts of manchester no that is not me it is me that that's what i'm saying this this is you you it's him i am you but i am and not to me then who is this no no that is not me it is not you it is me who is me goddammit don't make sense [Music] [Music] i saw this thing on tiktok that said if you brush your cat with a damp toothbrush it reminds them of being groomed by their mothers when they were kittens so my cat hates being brushed so i figured i would try it [Music] okay [Music] those eyes the dark seeps dark

Channel: Chill Phill

Views: 15,053

Rating: 4.7685952 out of 5

Keywords: musical.ly, funny tik tok videos, tik tok compilation, tik tok 2020, ironic tik tok, tik tok musically, cringey tik toks, tiktok, musically, ironic tik toks, tik tok, tiktok cringe, tiktok memes, ironic tik tok trolls, fakememe, succculent, wifi plug tiktok, musical.ly compilation, musical.ly videos, new musical.ly compilation, memes, meme compilation, willianator, musical.lys, the best musical.ly, funny tik tok, clean tik toks, tiktoks, monstro

Id: o94i3aVtSDQ

Length: 44min 57sec (2697 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 15 2021