This Is Why You Have So Much Clutter

hey guys welcome back to my channel there are so many factors contributing to our clutter at any given time psychological phenomena like the endowment effect or loss aversion all the way to socioeconomic factors such as consumerism all of which i will be covering in a different video but do you want to know the number one reason that i see come up over and over again that's likely the same reason that you have clutter if this is a struggle area for you if so go ahead and click the thumbs up button and let's dive in clutter is such a struggle area for so many people in their homes and i think that it's really important that you get down to the heart of why it exists and why it's hard to get rid of in order to actually make changes you have to know where you are in order to get to where you're going right so that's part of why i think that it's so important that you understand why you likely have trouble letting go of things and that's contributing to your clutter if you don't do the work then you end up just accepting defeat with wherever you are and that is one of my biggest pet peeves one thing that irritates me above all else is somebody accepting defeat in something prematurely here's a little example of that matt's gotten a lot better about this but it used to be that if he couldn't find something like tweezers or nail clippers after looking in two different places he would throw his hands up in the air you know like well i guess we just don't have nail clippers anymore totally accept defeat in that area now of course that's just a little thing that hasn't even made a dent in our relationship but in general it's a pet peeve of mine i mean to me there are solutions and alternatives but defeat is never acceptable but so many people just accept defeat and their homes and their schedules and essentially and how they live and experience life people make excuses like i'm just so busy or i'm bad at time management or i'm not organized or i'm just a hot mess but excuses are not solutions i like to call excuses sugar-coated defeat it reminds me of what mark manson calls victimhood chic i call this phenomenon victimhood chic clutter collectors because our excuses at least in our own minds can place us in a position of feeling victim to our situation or our surroundings we can even use other people like our partner kids or family members as a scapegoat to put us in a position of being victim to our clutter situation so of course i'm not denying the impact that our upbringing or natural traits can play on your environment i mean obviously it is a part of your mind and therefore it's going to be reflected into your environment without some extra effort but extra effort or struggle does not equal defeat so yeah some of us may have to try a little bit harder to curb the shopping or to release some attachments to stuff if you're holding on to too much but struggle again does not equal defeat i mean this may sound a little bit harsh but it's actually really good news because it's like marie forleo says everything is figure outable everything is figuratible so if you really want to have the space that gives you room to breathe and makes you feel good and gives you energy every day you can have that and this is true regardless of the obstacles or inherited difficulties or mess of a schedule that you may have become accustomed to living with so if you watched my last video on the psychological effects of clutter then you understand that your personal environment is a reflection of your mind every single time which is key to what we're going to be talking about here today so what is the number one reason for clutter well it may come as a surprise to you but the number one reason across the board is fear trust me i've spoken to so many people who truly want to change their clutter situation some people have even said things like i wish that it would all burn to the ground so that i could just start fresh and you may think why would anybody wish something like that or even think something like that when they could just get rid of the clutter right just get rid of it well you may not see it like this but it's like those mounds of clutter are a shell of protection offering false security i think on some level we can all relate to this right like we all have something that maybe strikes an emotional cord in us or brings on a fond memory or makes us feel secure and cozy and there's not anything inherently wrong with that right just like there's nothing wrong with eating a candy bar but what about 10 candy bars or 20 or 50. at some point that comfort turns into sabotage now in my experience there are four primary types of fear that i see come up over and over again that really sabotage our environments with clutter number one is fear of the future so this is that typical better to have and not need it than needed to not have it right that whole over preparing it's like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter holding on to all of these things because who's to say you won't need it right nobody has a crystal wall nobody knows what you might need someday or what might happen in the future so we tend to hold on to things to over plan and over prepare in case you need something someday but generally that someday never comes and what you're left with is a bunch of unopened objects that are taking up your drawer space in your closet space or outfits that you've only worn once or gifts that were given by somebody that you're holding on to because maybe you'll need it but you've never even used the thing so if you ever hear yourself saying i might need this someday then that could be a clue that you're holding on to it out of a fear of the future number two is a fear of the past this is particularly hard for people who consider themselves to be overly sentimental so somebody will go down to their basement to go through a bunch of boxes and do a whole decluttering sweep and they go down there with the mindset of i know i'm not going to be able to actually get rid of all this stuff i'm going to have to find a place to put it it can be difficult going through maybe your kid's old toys or hand-me-downs from your mom or your grandma things that somebody left you it's this fear of losing parts of yourself or parts of your past or maybe forgetting pieces of your past if you were to let that item go because we tend to infuse our belongings with our own emotion we infuse them with memories we attach them and associate them with different points in our lives and so that can make it really difficult whenever you're trying to make space for yourself and you have all of these things that have all of these memories attached and then you have trouble detaching there's this fear of losing or forgetting the past but it's important to understand that the past still exists even without that belonging number three is fear of judgment or what other people are going to think or feel this generally comes in the form of obligation or guilt it's really common with gifts it's like you know my mom gave this to me and i don't want to hurt her feelings by not holding on to it even though it's not my style or i'm never going to use it or i'm never going to wear it you know i hear this coming up a lot and it's tricky because it's dressed up as something nice as something good right we all want to be good people and it feels like the right thing to do to hold on to things for the sake of not hurting or offending somebody else but here's what you're doing you're taking this simple fact of i have this thing i'm not using it so i'll give it to someone who will and you're adding all of these storylines all these layers of story and how you project that somebody else is going to feel about it and what could potentially happen in the future if you were to get rid of this thing and then that person comes over to your house and all of a sudden you don't have it you know you add all of these little layers of story to a simple fact which is you're not using the thing you don't like the thing and somebody else could potentially be getting value out of it and number four is a people's favorite and that is a fear of being wasteful boy do i hear this one a lot um i've even had a lady who was holding on to like half used perfume bottles that she had had since college and she was like in her 50s or 60s at the time so it had been decades since she had actually used these perfume bottles but she was still having such a hard time letting them go because i mean they still smell good she still liked the way they smelled and it just felt wasteful to get rid of it so she would hold on to it for another year or two and then every time she would go back to decluttering that bathroom and come back across it she would convince herself again that she was going to start using these perfumes because she didn't want to be wasteful we do this all the time i hear this in so many different versions from so many different people you know from like i bought these really expensive shoes to use for a job and i no longer work at that job so i'm not wearing these shoes but they cost so much money it feels wasteful to donate them or to get rid of them and people really toil over not being able to get back every dime that they paid for something or not being able to get back a good value of money and the thing is something's monetary value really only is what people are willing to pay for it maybe you should consider that the monetary value that you're placing on that thing might not be aligned it might not be aligned with the current trends or with the demand and waste fear is such a massive struggle that i'm definitely going to have to give it its own video at some point just just for the people who know that they have issues with feeling wasteful all the time but let's talk about just one really quick reframe when it comes to feeling wasteful because is it really more wasteful to store something in your closet or in your drawer to where it's taking up your space inside of your home space that you're paying for or to give it to somebody who's actually going to use and get value out of that thing which one is really more wasteful now i have a whole master class that really breaks down moving beyond mental attachments and emotional attachments to create totally holistic clutter free spaces it's called my holistic clutter free formula and i will put the link down in the description so what does this fear look like and how do you get past it well fear makes you an information hoarder this is something i see over and over again because it's easier to collect a bunch of information and to just information hoard and collect all these checklists and you know blog posts and pins on pinterest and all that it's easier to do that and feel productive than it is to actually go through the hard work of letting things go those mental attachments to stuff the emotions of letting go all of that is harder it's less comfortable right and we don't like to feel uncomfortable but at the same time our environment is uncomfortable because it's bombarded with clutter right so you gotta do something so people turn to information hoarding following multiple teachings but putting none of them to practice trying to inspire themselves beyond the fear but you've probably noticed that the information hoarding doesn't work the clutter is still there so at the end of the day what's the answer are you supposed to just give up and feel bad about yourself of course the answer is simple you just have to do it afraid growth never comes from being comfortable and it can be scary knowing that you can live the exact life that you want you just have to do it afraid now if you haven't watched my video on the psychological effects of clutter go ahead and click here to watch it now so that you can light a fire to finally take action and if you're already ready to take action then i definitely recommend that you start with my free master class my holistic clutter free formula the link is down in the description

Channel: Mia Danielle

Views: 37,437

Keywords: This is why, why we have clutter, why do I have clutter, reasons for clutter, why is clutter bad

Id: gMw_inNZzyU

Length: 10min 38sec (638 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 18 2020