This Is What Makes Dragon's Dogma 2 Suck

oh my God I looked at the game [Music] play uh the trailer you idiot the cities look beautiful the environments look beautiful the fighting looked very rewarding you know oh [ __ ] she didn't deserve that but then after looking at the trailer and everything you do the next thing right you go to the store Page and you look at the steam ratings not good okay they're mixed I'm not going to lie that's not good but then if you scroll down and you look at people's complaints it's all like my computer doesn't run it it's got optimization issues I didn't see anything any gripes about the game itself and I knew that performance issues wouldn't be a problem for me because I finally installed that 4090 that had been Gathering dust in my closet I installed it upside down on accident that thing sounds like a lion in heat so I really had no reason not to buy the game so I bought it the character customization is awesome I mean it's super in-depth you can create honestly whoever you want I mean my guy looks like Claus kinsky and he looks pretty damn spoton uh and klouse is like one of the more horrific looking humans ever devised so the fact that you can make them is is astounding to say the least you also get to design like a little Pawn which is like your main follower guy and uh I made mine look like that uh psychic vampire from what we do in the shadows this is my office also known as the hunting ground which is honestly very fitting because everything that they say is just the most Soul draining nerdy [ __ ] is the time of day when cities and towns home with the rhythms of Life I'll carefully conserve my strength and Endeavor to survive every battle by way of sound strategy and defensive tactics I just said hi to you like you don't need to say that [ __ ] back to me dude after I made those guys I started playing and let me tell you something there is actually a lot to like about this game it kind of [Music] rocks [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] yeah [Music] but then there was one thing I discovered that lifted the veil on this game and forever changed it in my eyes oh the throwing mechanic in this game you can pick up somebody and you can you can just Uncle Rico him uh pretty goddamn far to be honest bye Colin uh and if you throw them in the water they got worm water you know and the water eats them and it's supposed to kill them it even says it it says the brine lurk in the Deep Waters and will instantly consume anyone or thing that Wades into their midst ponds will become forfeit and all other living creatures are met with an immediate watery death now this is where you guys in the audience are probably like dude this game sounds badass you can pick up anybody anything throw them in the water and watch uh piranhas or what have you eat them that's it I mean like that sounds like the best feature in the world and let me tell you dude it would be it would be uh cuz you know me as soon as I learned this I started throwing every man woman and child into the water uh even a pig or two and wouldn't you know it they just respawn after they get eaten looks to be a good spot for harvesting ingredients [Music] now I'm not basing my negative review solely on this but if a game tells me if I throw a woman into the [ __ ] water she'll get eaten alive well then it better happen Okay I don't like being lied to as a consumer now to you guys this might seem like a minor issue but to me this is where the whole thing started to unravel it's uh there's no Stakes involved I threw these people in nobody seems to care they don't even care I throw them in the water they respawn they're like a few hours soon to help order my thoughts you're not going to get mad at me okay okay time to kick it up a notch I grab a nun and I brought her outside in front of like 12 people I stabbed her a couple times show her who's boss then I threw her into the water I missed you know this throwing arm ain't what it used to be you know and uh and don't worry because my pwn shoots her in the [ __ ] face with an arrow she falls in the water gets eaten alive by piranhas but nobody cares what's up with that you shoot a nun in the face and nobody care where are we Baltimore there should be droves of people coming over to beat me up nothing at that point I was like well maybe I'll clean up the homeless in this city you know so I started beating them up nobody gives a [ __ ] uh except for one of the homeless guys he kind of put up a [Music] fight you know you can fight all you want you can't stop gentrification I replaced his little camping spot with the [ __ ] Starbucks so I found out in order to kill them for real you have to just do it by hand you know you can't let the worms Do It um and they are dead for sure because they're back in the morg I can see their bodies in the morg uhhuh these are all the homeless people I killed I forgot about these name residence nobody knows I'm going to fill this place up eventually have courage you can Prevail she's cheering me on she's 100% cheering me on I this game it's like a simulation it's like it's like my friends made this game to try to [ __ ] tire me they were tired of me [ __ ] them over in Project Zomboy they're like you know what we'll make a game you [ __ ] for Sam so that he can get it out of his system behold my [Music] handiwork yeah they don't seem to care it's like I'm Jack the Ripper there's like no consequences for my actions so I found a Ballista that they Ed to defend the town from dragons and Griffins and such and I turned that bad boy around and rained down Hellfire on those villagers oh [ __ ] look at the crowd quick Colin back to the ballista I took out 60% of the town's entire population nobody gave a [ __ ] Merchants still traded with me I picked up the bodies and danced with them I [ __ ] throw them around nobody cares nobody [ __ ] cares I'm I was completely perplexed I even trespassed inside the royal castle for like two nights before a guard even gave a [ __ ] and I don't even know why he got mad at me walking around having a good time stealing stuff There's No Stealing feature in this game there's no there's no sneaking you can just grab whatever off the shelf and people don't care all I know somebody's going to be like uh but you didn't do it in front of someone here's me just walking into a random person's house right in front of of them I just take their [ __ ] and then I just walk out I was told if I show up to this event without one of those like stupid masks on and I would get in trouble people would be upset this is oh my God what am I to do now this is a conundrum is my game bugged like does nobody does nobody give a [ __ ] about what I'm doing this isn't [ __ ] you guys finally thank you somebody hits me back the guards randomly threw me in jail I fear for my life um and so I was like oh so there is some sort of like good or bad system going on here but I don't think there really is because I just locked picked my way out of the jail cell and just walked right past them out of the jail and they didn't they didn't care I'm moving off where I stand not not even that I broke out but that I just picked you up and threw you against the wall you don't care you don't care I have a backbone dude come on self-respect now what's the point of being a bad boy if there's no good boys to stop you you know what I mean if people don't even vilify you for being a bad boy so I did the only thing left to do I went to a wh house I found doorman tried to stop me pray take yourself elsewhere our services are only available to members and the guard that can see the Doorman from his position didn't seem to mind so I went upstairs and I found the prettiest prostitute that even had a cut scene so I know she's important and I picked her up and I threw her off a cliff I have never played a game that works so hard to create an awesome fantasy world without implementing any of the basic rules needed to create a believable society and those rules are pretty simple rule number one the concept of private property you there should be a stealing mechanic or something I just walk in and take [ __ ] and walk back out nobody cares and number two people should at least put a frown on their face if I throw a child off a cliff okay there should be some ramifications for me just going on a murder spree and there's none it's like these people don't even give a [ __ ] anymore I just I don't know I'm I'm going to stop playing the game I've I've only got like 15 hours or something in it you know I'm I'm I'm just done playing the game I just don't think I can play a game that lets me throw that many people off a cliff why won't they stop me why won't anybody stop me I I can't even stop myself [Music] [Music]

Channel: General Sam

Views: 445,504

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Id: LKG9Ed5hlhs

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 10 2024