These 15 THINGS Are Keeping YOU POOR!| Lewis Howes

someone who is financially rich as an owner they're not a consumer you're going to need a business and a movement to change the world you can't sustain the mission if you don't make the money there's very few people who you see a meteoric rise in their wealth or their success that's keep it did you know that your mindset is what keeps you from being wealthy well in this video we talked to some of the top entrepreneurs in the world on what they did to achieve wealth and what you can do as well what is the worst investment people should be making during this time and what's the best investment they can make um in my life when i have become desperate right after that's when i become stupid yeah and explain the other one the other one is what i get well when you know when you get scared and you go rushing towards something out of fear that desert sense of desperation this thing when you do that you're getting ready to screw up i mean just count on it and the other time you do that is if you're greedy uh if you think you okay i got this one i can take advantage of this and uh i mean greedy as a lack of virtue greedy i don't mean greedy in a a positive way where i'm being ambitious okay i mean the negative sides of greed and so if you're functioning in desperation or in this no holds barred i've i'm gonna just clean up on other people's pain thing that's when you're getting ready to screw up and you're getting ready to make a major mistake and and so you're set up also for con artists when you do that um and so if you're if you're functioning in high emotion your brain just doesn't work good my friend art laffer says what people when you're panicked and when you're drunk you don't make good decisions and so you know you you're when you're on high emotion your brain is it's your critical thinking skills shut down and and so that's when i've made the biggest mistakes in my life is when i was desperate and the few times that i was greedy where i thought oh i'm going to slip in there and that's going to be easy money what was that easy money could you share a story of one of those greedy times where you tried to jump in and yeah a buddy of mine a buddy of mine i was in my 20s and a buddy of mine was buying gold and uh now this is in the 80s okay it's a million years ago and he's buying gold and he had this friend that was a gold he was a gold bug he was picking gold and this guy had picked the gold prices where they were going within the dollar like 14 times in a row and so we both dropped five grand into this thing and if we had hit it was a it was a margin deal and so i would have made 50 grand and i thought i'm putting a thousand bucks in here i'm gonna make 50 grand but it's a margin play which means you're either gonna make 50 grand you're gonna make zero and so he picked it right 14 times the time i got in the 15th time missed it i got zero turned 5000 bucks into zero instantly last time i bought gold last time i played stuff on margin last time i got greedy was it is there ever a time where so what's the difference between greed and a great opportunity of being ambitious can you make money can you make money fast in certain things or is typically most things take a certain amount of time and energy and effort the vast majority of people who are successful financially and successful have done it incrementally there's very few people who you see a meteoric rise in their wealth or their success that keep it and i i think because you build your character along the way to be able to hold on and be able to do it i think that's that's my theory on it uh i mean i got rich quick i started with nothing and by the time i was 26 i had 4 million worth of real estate i built a house of cards you know and i had a million dollar net worth i made 250 000 in 1984. i was making 20 000 bucks a month and in my 20s so i mean but you thought i had it all figured out meteoric rise to the top but the very thing that caused me to be the the incredible overdrive of ambition uh caused me to go so fast uh that that i missed the blind spots i missed the detour signs i missed the bridge out signs and so i built this house of cards i thought was a stone house but i was naive and didn't know and along come some regulations changes a few shifts in the economy uh a little snl crisis and couple comes down yeah uh you know all of a sudden dave looks like an idiot instead of a genius uh and so it turns out i was a little of both because you don't build something like that at 25 if you're not someone of a genius but i was obviously an idiot in the way i built it and so i get to do it again get the opport the wonderful opportunity to start over and go the right way yeah yeah but i mean in the midst of that as i was falling over it took two and a half years to lose everything we own i had stuff presented to me i almost got conned serious con like people just a real con artist type guy there's not many of them out there right most of the time you get screwed by well-meaning ignoramuses but this these were real con artists coming into my path and i was about to give them money because i so desperately needed to turn quick money into big money to save myself i was desperate and right about the time you get desperate when you get stupid so don't don't make those decisions so there's not really so what i'm hearing you say is the wealthy wealthy people it takes time and it's incremental it's not an overnight thing it's not a quick rise there might be some spikes here and there but it's typically over time it's okay to take a spike but anytime i get a spike i'm always a little suspicious of it really it makes me it makes me even more careful i draw back and i go well that's really cool is it okay you know because it's not normative normative is incremental and so i always tell entrepreneurs it's okay to be on the cover of slow company magazine [Music] i wanted to ask first what the difference is between someone who is financially rich and who's someone who's financially poor what's the difference well there's lots of differences but i'd say the first one is someone who is financially rich is an owner they're not a consumer they're a consumer also but when somebody is poor their consumer that all they do is they take their you know i always tell people we're all financial traders other people i'm not a financial trader yes you are you're trading time for money that's the worst trade you can ever make in your life somebody who's wealthy has made money their slave they're no longer the slave to money and the way they do that is they figured out how to become an owner and the way you do that in the most simplistic way i even taught my first book was you have to decide there's a percentage of money that you're going to keep forever you're not going to give it to kate spade or ferrari or anybody else you can do that too but there's a percentage of that income that never will be touched that you will grow and compound and will provide income for the rest of your life so you don't have to work now when i was growing up everybody's goal was get rich enough so you never have to work now like all my friends are fifteen eight or ten years my senior people like uh steve wynn in most of las vegas he's like 74. uh warren buffett's 85. uh peter gruber one of my dearest friends the world owns the golden state warriors the la dodgers we're partners in the lafc football team in la um brilliant guy 74 years old and they're all working harder now than they ever were and they don't have to work so the goal is make enough money so you don't have to work and then you'll do what you love and you'll pour your time and energy into it but you have to make that decision it's the first most important decision is i'm going to become an owner of american business you don't want to have an apple phone and not own apple and you don't want to just own apple because any company can go up and down right you want to own the index you want to own you know a variety with enough diversification but if you can just shift and i've taught people who told me they couldn't they have no money they can't save it's really easy once you get momentum there's a research project i did with a gentleman who was nominated for nobel prize on behavioral finance and what he did was he said if you can even you know you need to save 15 ideally but if you could even save three percent because anybody can do that they took a group of blue collar workers in the midwest and said we're gonna force you to save three percent i think it was three and a quarter or three and a half but then everybody can go on a diet tomorrow everybody can save money tomorrow right yeah so his tool was all right you're not gonna save today you're gonna save tomorrow we'll do the three and a half percent but then you go to your employer and say the next time i get a raise the first five percent goes to my savings account to my investing account and then every time you get a raise to do that well in 14 years the average person was saving 15 percent and the top 40 percent were saving 20. now let me explain what that means you and i were together before i i when i'm trying to explain compounding to people everybody understands it intellectually but when i ask some of the richest people in the world what are most investors failing to do and they all say they're not topping the power of compounding so if you're in a situation where as an example let's take your you've got a hundred thousand dollars that you've saved you're 35 years old and you put it in the market and just leave it there never add anything to it if you leave in the market and you're only being charged one percent in fees at retirement 35 years later you got 762 000 from that hundred never added a dime they grew that much but if you pay three percent of fees which is the average most people are paying when you ask people where they're paying they don't know or they say one percent because when you hear about fees let's say a mutual fund fee you'll always hear one percent that's the expense ratio there are 17 other fees so every one percent you overpay you know one percent is the average but if you pay two or three and the average mutual fund is three point one two something nothing one or two percent but every one percent you overvalue because of compounding means you lose a decade of income so the person paid one percent has 762 000 the person who paid three percent has 452 000 and they own the same stocks it's just fees so while we compound our interest we also compound fees so if you could save three percent and build it to five ten fifty or you start with ten or fifteen and eventually get to twenty the best example i can give your viewers is that uh there's a gentleman who worked for ups who literally never made more than fourteen thousand dollars a year you heard about him in the book and when he retired he had 70 million dollars and he gave away 35 million while he was alive and the reason was a friend of his set him aside and said look i'm going to make you rich i'm never going to be rich i make 14 got a year he goes i'm going to make you rich i'm going to make you rich later in life and i'm going to do it bring a 20 tax to your business he goes i make 14 000 a year i can't live 120 less and his friend said to him if the irs came and said 20 more tax you'd scream you'd yell and you'd pay it yeah and he said we're gonna pay it for you and that 20 compounded generated 70 million dollars so wow for the people that are at home the sooner you start the better off you are because compounding does it i've got an example in the book of a guy that starts at 19 he puts aside 300 a month he stops at 27. so he does it for eight years he only puts in i think it was uh 35 thousand dollars but it's any it's a million dollars by leaving in the market when he turned 65 and he stopped at 28. he has a best friend that starts at 28 invests his entire life puts in all 180 000 and he has less money at the end the sooner you start the better you are yeah so many questions i want to ask i don't know what i want to ask so what up is there a way to be financially free just by saying i'm going to earn more every year as opposed to investing every year can you do without investing at all or do you have to invest and when you say put it in the market you mean putting in index funds is what i mean well in the book i explain you've got to have diversification right don't just throw it into stock and just no and what most people do is they go to a mutual fund and they think it sounds logical i'm i'm no good at this this is not my skill a person says you go to a professional who runs a mutual fund what do they do they figure out a series of investments to make they put it in the fund and they do it for you and you think well gosh you know they're smarter than i am they'll do well you assume that but the truth is they charge so much that even if they did have an advantage they lose it i interviewed david swenson who's the head of chief investment officer at yale it took you out 200 years to get a billion dollars that they saved he turned into 25 billion in two decades wow it's unheard of he's the greatest institutional investor of all time and one of things that he told me he said tony you just got to understand something he said you're never going to earn your way to wealth he said how many people have you seen movie stars actors athletes you know the other day 50 cent just went broke right he made 100 million dollars on vitamin water and somebody gave him a tip and he's he was had a half a half a billion dollars and he's broke completely mike tyson made a half a billion dollars and went broke you can understand that a little bit yeah i think 78 of nfl players go bankrupt two years after that's prior and the average lifespan of an fl player is three and a half years so these guys work their whole life they go through these rough injuries and they don't invest so yeah the answer is you can make a fortune elton john didn't go bankrupt because it's different rules in england but he got in trouble who i just saw the other day is um what's his name the pirates caribbean what's his depp johnny name going bankrupt right now johnny depp he's making like 20 30 million a year johnny b was worth 700 million dollars three quarters of a billion he's on the verge of bankruptcy right now can't pay his bills he was paying 30 000 a month on wine alone my gosh he spent three million dollars to take hunter thompson's body burn it put the dust into this giant cannon and shoot his dust into the space three million bucks it doesn't matter how much money you earn you can always get rid of that like buy an island and watch all the crap yeah exactly so what i show people is what you really want to do is create an income for life without working the goal if you own a business and i would assume a lot of your viewers our business owners are getting started in business no matter how good you are in business think about this the one universal rule that idiots in finance know is diversification it's the only free lunch you've got to diversify because if you put all your eggs in one basket no matter how good the basket is one day that real estate market that stock market that bond market that collectibles market whatever you invest in radel you showed me statistically it'll drop 50 to 70 on a day now if you're later in life when that happens it's over for you right so you have to diversify and yet most people they know real estate so they do it or they know stocks they do it or they grew up with their hand their parents flipping things and it's the wrong thing to do so you've got to diversify in order for you to be able to truly succeed and that's why when you own a business yeah if you put all your money in your business which is what most of us do naturally you see a lot of risk you put all your eggs in one basket and there's things that can happen i mean you know you're let's say you spent 20 years and you figured out how to put together the ultimate map you know and you remember garmin came out with this thing called the tomtom i don't remember you used to put on your are you old enough to remember that you could play on your phone yeah or just put on your dash cost a hundred bucks it was a breakthrough they were making like 100 million or something or yeah yeah six months later what happened the iphone came out with google maps these little bastards this was my friend came out with it put google maps put their own map on here and guess how much zero what's it gonna do to your business when someone takes your product reserve and gives away for free so i always tell people competition happens technology happens what you must do is have a second business with no with no moving parts no people no time maybe it takes you two two three days a year for two or three hours after you've read the book you put it in place and you measure it two three times a year that's it yeah go on with your life now if there's a trouble in your business you're financially set i in my life at 31 companies now we have you know what we have 1200 employees seven different industries we do 5 billion in sales i mean that used to be you know me and my seminar business it's grown geometrically but with all those moving parts the only way i've been able to succeed is because i've taken every one of those businesses and i've diversified my assets so that when things were in trouble i still have enough economics to take care of myself and keep the business going so everybody needs to create a money machine that works while you sleep that doesn't have moving parts and that's what this is really about you have a great cartoon in the book um where there's a kid asking his father you know something about like how do you invest your money or how's the stock market work and he says you put your money in at the peak it starts to go down and lose money and so you get scared and you take it out and then someone's smarter than you makes all the money something like that so how do we how do and i've done that in the past where i put my money in somewhere high it went down and i was like oh i just lost a bunch of money let me take it out yeah and then i put it back in another time and i'm like what am i doing so how do we um invest without fear of oh it's going down i need to take it out or like trying to time it how do we do that great question it's one of the main reasons i wrote the book i always tell people if you just read the second chapter of the book nothing else it'll change your life you're gonna do that with multiple chapters but that chapter is really about teaching people that winter is coming we all know winter's coming right quite a phrase but that winter is the best time on earth and i know that's counterintuitive and i don't mean like being a positive thinker i mean pure facts so in the book i take you through 10 facts i'll give you a couple of them right now the first fact i get people is why do people not invest they're afraid of failing they if you're a millennial right so you grew up witnessing 2008 when you're still relatively young how old are you now 33. okay so you were what 27 what were you what what 2008 um yeah 27 yeah 27 28 years old so you're a young man and you're watching the world melting down in front of you for most millennials they are the first generation since the generation that went through the depression that is not investing at the ratio they need to even close and they have more debt than everyone probably right with all the they have more college debt than everyone absolutely true i have a friend that has hundred thousand dollars in debt dental school president obama just paid off his debt five years ago while he was still president no i swear to god it's mind-boggling and he had a bunch of uh scholarships for the last bit it took him that long so what i tell them is listen paying off your debt's not enough you've got to become an owner or you're always going to be in that place so yes pay off your debt but here's what you need to know you got to become an owner you got to get in the game but you got to understand the rules of the game you know the rules of the game the old phrase is you get you know what a person with experience meets a person with money we know the phrase the person the money ends up with leaks ends up with your money right yeah so i teach people the rules of the game so they don't get screwed but the most important thing is this winter's coming but people react so let's take last year last january 2016 we had the worst stock market opening in the history of the stock market first first i think was 10 days there was a drop of 2.3 trillion dollars with the t crazy everybody's freaking thinking the bear market's here the market's over the crash is here i think the market dropped 800 points one day and on that day all the richest people in the world were in davos switzerland you know for the big conference that they do every year and they went there msnbc went there and everything's freaking what's that what are we going to do and they said let's go ask ray dalio now your listeners may or may not know ray value as if if you're not in the financial business probably never heard of them you've probably heard of warren buffett but ray valley has done more you have a five billion dollar net worth and a hundred million dollars to give him or he wouldn't talk to you ten years ago now he doesn't care for how much money you have he won't talk because he's got a close fund but they go and they put value on television cnbc he's the king what do we do and he says well you don't need to panic corrections happen all the time but you need a strategy that when markets go up and down you don't go up and down and he said i spent 15 years of my life to perfect such a strategy all of my money's in that plan and he said it's called all seasons and i've never revealed it before but i gave it to tony robbins he extracted from me and it's his book so you got to go read his book somebody says on national television the data markets are crashing and that day they give you an idea which is the beginning of february i think it was nine days in february the market was down nine percent in the first five weeks of the year his strategy which he gave me which is made money 85 of the time for the last 75 years wow it's averaged the 10 percent return just under and the average loss of when it fifteen percent loss was 1.6 so if you go to vegas and you could spend 85 percent of time make money and when you made money was 10 lost his one point six yeah go forever his plan made two percent while the market was down nine so it was up 11 difference now i'm not suggesting that's the only strategy to do there's many his is the smoothest ride with the least risk but what it did was a combination of that and then right after that i interviewed uh fed chair alan greenspan he was the head of our economy the the most powerful man in finance for 19 years four presidents he was there running i was just a president clinton this last week he was he was the fed chair for him and i interviewed him for like two hours you know three hours off stage two hours in front and i asked him in the very beginning of this thing i said to him i said look if you could be put the fed today what would you do and he looks at me and as i said he leans forward and he says resign so i look at that and go oh my god i need to write a book that will free people so here's what will free you everyone's afraid of the crash so here's we need to know two terms you should understand correction versus crash anytime the market drops from its high by 10 or more up to 20 it's called a correction right if it drops 20 or more up to 80 like in you know the great depression then it's called a crash or called a bear market okay so how often does a correction happen now how often do we have to be prepared for it since 1900 we've had a correction on average every year wow for 116 years so when is winter coming this year on average it's like how often does winter come you wouldn't be surprised if it's storms and rain now some winters are long some are short some are harsh some are light but winter always comes so i wasn't panicked when this happened last year i'm not panic whenever it happens because i know it's supposed to be yeah how long does it last average 56 days okay so just under two months what's the average drop during that time 14 over the last 30 years 13.5 of the last 100 years so i use the more recent one 14 get your attention right 14 you get a little gut check but here's you need to know 80 of all corrections never become a bear market 80 so all this fear and what people do is what you said you did is they see it it's freaking out and losing money i'm the hell out of here and they get out the stock market never took a dime from anybody only you can take it from it you sold that's why you lost right right so if you look back and say what was it like in 2008 i remember vividly being with my platinum partners and saying you see these 80 stocks this is six months before the crash i told them in april i brought them to dubai and i said these stocks are going to go to eight and some are going to go to a buck and by october and i told them what to do so they were able to get out october i go on the today show in october of 2008 and they go tony there's been three trillion dollars meltdown pump the country up you got four minutes like ready go that's not what i do first of all and i said i'd be a lie i'm not going to but at that point the 80 stocks were eight i said some of those i said i'm not a market forecaster but i work with paul tudor jones one of the greatest investors in the history of the world in the biggest market crash in history in 1987 he made 200 wow when everybody else was losing their entire life i've been coaching him continuously now for 24 years every single day so i said i work with the best in the world and they're telling me based on history in the 30s in history in the 70s this eight dollar stock summer gonna be a buck and i remember the day in march of 2009 citibank which had been i think 70 dollars sold for 97 cents you could go and take your money out of the atm yeah it cost you more to take your money up than to own the bank right and then i told people it'll jump from 99 cents to six 10 dollars in a month or two is exactly what it did right so what you gotta know is corrections happen every year you got another couple months god knows fourteen percent and you won't lose because eighty percent of time doesn't go to a bear now what about the bear the bear market it happens to give you an idea in the last 100 years every three to five years you've gone eight without one we're way overdue in modern years last 30 years it's about every five years the average length of a bear is one year the average drop is 33 a third of those drops go 40 or above that i don't care how well prepared you are that's a scary thing yeah but it is the greatest opportunity in your lifetime to go from wherever you are financially to where you want to be i hope your audience is listening right now hear me if you want a leapfrog and you're a millennial and you think there's no future or you're you know a baby boomer and you think you're too old and it's too late the greatest gift you have is coming i know it doesn't sound like it this is not positive thinking this is the truth wall street the stock market is the only place that when things go on sale people freak out if i said you like ferraris sure if i said to you ferrari's going sale for 50 off awesome but when i tell you apple's on sale for 50 off you go oh what am i going to do here what's wrong the whole world's coming to an end if you think about it how old are you 33. 33. so let's assume if you were 35 you lived to 85 you got 50 52 years ahead of you that means you have 52 more corrections to live through right that means you're probably in those 50 years gonna have 10 more bear markets to live through if you're going to have a gut checks every time or you're going to leave out of it right if you didn't participate because you thought oh the market's too volatile i can't trust all that stuff you missed 250 percent return in the last eight years i mean you've missed out on everything while you're waiting for things to be better and if you won't do it when it's like this when it crashes you're not going to get in so here's the good news about the bear the good news about the bear average ones a year could be longer but that's the average could be shorter but here's what's cool every single bear market in the history of the united states has led to a bull market meaning right afterwards so 2008 this plummeting what happened in 2009 up 67 in a year i can show you every single bear market and the next year when it comes out it's this explosion now that's not true in every market in the world it's true for two centuries in the united states that's why warren buffett says i want to be greedy when people are afraid and i want to be afraid when people are greedy if you remember 2008 he was telling everybody bye he was having the time of his life bye bye bye everything's on sale so what you have to do to become unshakeable is turn when i only the metaphor i use is the turn the snake into the rope meaning we all know the story it's the middle of the night you're walking through the yard or someplace and you see a snake and you're freaked out you pull back you come in the morning and it's a rope once you know it's a rope you're never afraid again i think you said you did like 15 or 17 seven-figure launches in a row online 28. 20 numbers are off here 28. uh the only reason i do that because we had to make a presentation uh or the influencer magazine thing we're trying to like talk about it and it was 28 seven figure online launches correct 19 of them were in a row so that night in a row that 2009 to 2000 you know 15 we kind of defined the game for launching especially personal development online courses there are a lot of people teaching marketing or or launches or how to do a seminar or something but we were like personal development's harder to sell it's harder it's hard to sell a high ticket too it's harder to sell so you've been doing that you've helped so many people launch their brands from their influence because there's a lot of influencers in the world who are really great at building creating content that goes viral that are that attracts an audience and they grow an audience they know they have no clue to make money that's it they're broke but they're changing the world right it's like they're broke and they have millions of people they think they're changing the world it's like you're going to need a business and a movement to change the world that's true and that's what they they're like well i'm changing the world like no you're popular right but to actually change the world change people you need a curriculum you need to be able to give them empowerment and tools to be able to help to do that and if you're gonna actually make it i would tell people you can't sustain the mission if you don't make the money which was a big thing for me because i came from nothing you know you know my background a bit growing up in montana we just had nothing yeah you know we grew up in poverty my parents working super hard between the you know two of them to raise us four kids literally until they say i have no idea how they did it yeah um so my ambition was like maybe someday i can make forty thousand dollars because the richest people in our town didn't make that kind of money uh but that also can get in the way because sometimes people set their ambitions or their their their financial hopes based on where they grew up and they let their past or their current circumstances dictate the dreams for the finances they want in the future and then what happens they do something that becomes really popular and they're like oh this is working and the number account they're watching is the fans and followers which is great but what i'm always saying is like what please make sure you build a business because if suddenly you're not as popular or you go broke or something happens god forbid if you haven't built the infrastructure to carry your message then you're not being a responsible messenger you know an influencer without a business is a popular person who's busy yeah all the time and stress because they're not making any money they can't pay their rent yeah i was having a conversation with jay shetty about this about a year and a half ago yeah because he was i was always trying to push him to earn more he was like you know i'm happy with like just making i don't know i think it was like a hundred grand or maybe a few hundred grand right i'm not sure the exact number but he was like i never felt like i needed to make more money because i felt like i just want to serve people i want to give as much as i can yeah and i said well you're really doing a disservice unless you start earning more because you can hire more people and transform those lives right you can use the resources to create bigger projects bigger production of movies and videos that can then infect people in a positive way yeah you have to people have to get out of their way about money yeah and it's the hardest thing i trust me it was like there were parts of when we did our first launch you know i had i had when we did our first seminar afterwards i went broke because i know how to do it i didn't know didn't know so much just completely went broke had to live with my girlfriend who's now denise my wife um and you know she was buying my groceries she was supporting me she was kind of the only person who knew what i want to do and really the only person believing and cheering it on i like i had that great support you know i i would say people say you're so lucky but i'm like i am i had a car accident that smacked me in the head made me say i want to live my life luck number one luck number two great parents luck number three a girl that believed in me when i didn't even quite believe in myself well you know what year was this uh i met denise in 2003. wow so we were together five years and i proposed so we've been together a long time but i remember even sitting there when i was you know bankrupt and she's you know sleeping in the bed and i'm on this little desk and next to that next to the bed and i'm writing and all my bills and my paperwork and my vision boards were on the bed and as i'm typing she comes over and crawls under the covers to go to bed and i look over and my woman sleeping under my bills like literally and um i would say none of us want to be responsible for the pain in other people's lives because our own inaction i just hadn't taken action but i also didn't i just didn't have any attachment to money my whole life even now i mean you've seen what we do on our big trip so like let's go i mean i go crazy helicopters and this whatever it's like i have a great time because i don't have an attachment to it but what i do have an attachment to is the mission and i want to help people achieve their goals faster i want to help people realize they have a second chance on this planet every day that they wake up and if you have a second chance every day that's a that's like evergreen every day is your life's golden ticket you know you get to choose when you woke up this morning what's my attitude going to be how i'm going to treat people what i'm going to focus on what i'm going to make happen how i feel like we get to choose these things too like an extraordinary extent so my whole thing is like hey you have a second chance use that and this time in your second chance in your in your next relationship and the next job and the next moment be more intentional be more service driven you know lead with more heart um you know make sure you're you're doing things that bring you meaning yeah and if you really if like if i really believe that as i tell it to you then i would have to build the infrastructure to sustain it yeah that's where the business thing comes in i had to go all right and there was nothing about this business i was attracted to like literally you're very introverted very introverted like i'm still you know i'm awkward even right now i'm awkward in a meeting like i'm just i'm you've been with me on a deck by a pool i'm different i'm more relaxed a little bit um but i had to learn everything a bit i had to learn how to speak i was terrified of public speaking i had to learn how to do video which was a super awkward hard thing now we've had 250 million video views but the number i'm really proud of is 15 million hours of my online training has been watched wow 15 million hours that's a lot of work that's annoying but but uh you know that's instruction not no cat videos no memes no reposting other people stuff that's like online training content 15 million hours so i that's a lot of teaching we have 27 online courses 27 i've done and i was terrified of video i had to learn podcasting i had a lot of right books but all i had was after my car accident i said i want to inspire people to understand we all have life school and ticket we have a second chance we can all live love and matter if we make that our intention so let's start measuring ourselves and being more purposeful and then i had to figure out how to do it well you have to mess with your mindset you have to master your habits you have to be better in your relationships you have to live for something and optimize your health yes so if i really believed in that i had to step back at some point and not go what are my strengths because my strengths were you know sitting on a couch and eating cheetos it's like at some point you go no no what what is i want to be a service to high performers don't often ask just what are my strengths i'll just do that they say what is required to be of service here and let me grow into that i had to grow into a business owner like i had to grow into a communicator i had to grow into a writer and a podcaster i didn't know how to do any of that i just had something i wanted to share and teach the world i had to learn how to be a researcher and conduct like original full scale psychological research which was high performance habits like i don't know how to do any of that but if you if you believe you have a message in your heart you will be you you'll know that you have to build the infrastructure for it so because if you don't make the money you can't sustain now you talk about um the importance of starting your business when you're broke why do you think that's something that people should do because there's a lot of people that listen to your podcast which everyone should download the mf ceo project correct make sure you guys go check it out you do it once a week uh twice a week twice a week so we have a full-length episode on tuesdays and then a 10-minute episode called thursday thunder on thursdays oh that's a good thing yeah i like that so that's all motivation on thursday yeah tuesdays practical entrepreneurial mindset advice yes um and they can get it at itunes or the ceo project.com yep right um and you talk about building a business while you're broke and i know there's a lot of people that listen to you and there's people who are here who are beginners or just getting out of college or whatever or maybe they're leaving a career and they're starting something they want to try something on their own why do it when you're broke um or that mentality yeah so i call that zero option mentality um it's something i talk about a lot on the podcast uh basically you want to get yourself in as much in much of a situation as possible to where you don't have an option but to succeed um you know people use the idea of i don't have the funds or i don't have the resources i don't have this as an excuse so often dude i'm like dude this is the best thing you could ever have it is the best thing you can get in the investment is not going to help you no you're just gonna go spend it right and then you're not gonna be resourceful right and you could think about this think about this so you have you who has zero resources and then you have your competition who's got rich parents or an investor or inheritance or some other thing that you don't have in your own mind right but he's got resource quote unquote resources money right you to get successful are going to have to go out get creative and think you're going to have to become resourceful you're going to have to get yourself uh solutions to problems that money can't buy yes okay and that is going to all bank in your little p brain as competitive advantage over the long haul so let's say 10 years later you have you who has 10 years worth of creative lessons resourcefulness innovation creative solutions and then you have your competitor who was able to buy his way into the market because his mom and dad gave him 10 million bucks this dude hasn't learned for 10 years okay he has bought his way into his market share and then all of a sudden you guys converge and you have to compete who's going to win that battle the creative guy is always going to win the resourceful guy is always going to win because he's going to be able to figure out how to get the most result for the least amount of money and be effective and and people want to they want to jump from day one to day 10 by getting some big seed money or big investment and dude i don't care how much money i've made i try to pretend like i'm broke every single day in the way that i think because it forces me to create new solutions and innovate in my brain you know and so when people say oh like you said i don't i hate it when people say that i do too because you're missing the point of what the entrepreneurial journey is about it's about taking an idea it's about executing on the idea and it's not about having the perfect plan it's about your ability to adjust and create and improvise your way through this path you know and so many people especially with the way the internet is right now you and i have talked about this many times you got these make trillion dollars and 12 month guys advertising on the internet yeah and these young kids they think that that's what they should that's the way it goes and it's just not you know you're not going to go take time dude it takes time and you want the lessons you know dude we're going to be in business for 30 40 years you know calm down you know what i'm saying yeah like dude some of the best times i had in business were when i was broke yeah like dude and we were living in the back of that store and we were like buying 12 packs of natural light and beer bonging them in the back you know what i'm saying like yeah and just try to make a couple hundred bucks dude like so we could go out and and you know go get pizzas and like that was fun dude yeah and people don't realize like you don't want to skip that stuff like that's a cool part of the journey um you know it's not all about the money man the money the money makes things a little more interesting but you know at the end of the day it really this sounds corny right it's about the journey but it really is about the journey you know and you don't want to try to jump past all the good stuff that you're going to experience because you're in some sort of hurry because not only are you going to miss all this cool stuff you're going to discount uh your education to level zero you know by getting somebody to to give you x amount of dollars i mean dude if somebody had given me a million dollars the day that i started i would i would have blown it in a week yeah you know oh we could do this we could do that dude i don't care how much money you have time is a factor in business you know like it takes people uh as you know we talked earlier about the human relationship part and connection part of of uh business it takes people time to like and trust and become loyal to a concept so that's why you see people who spend they get these big 40 million dollar uh super bowl commercials you never hear from them again yeah you know what i mean because dude you can't buy your way into a market it comes through doesn't matter how creative the commercial is how funny catchy maybe they'll remember you for three weeks right but they're not going to stay with you for a lifetime exactly as if you built them a relationship exactly and you know that's something you do great is you're building consistent content you know something with my podcast as well i've been around for over four years for the podcast so many new podcasters come out and say well how do i get this many downloads really quick i'm like you gotta like dude my first year i i got 700 000 downloads the whole year yeah right now we're getting more than double that a month right but it's like because i've been consistent every single week yeah over four years yeah you can't just hope in 30 days you're gonna be like the top of the charts and stay there no and and the other thing is you you're hitting on it like you've got to be diligent to be consistent like dude we do tuesdays and thursdays yeah every week we've done that for two and a half years now yeah you know our podcast is growing it's getting big and it's not just about creating something it's about getting it out there in a consistent way as well right and i talk about a lot of authors coming to me and saying how do you make it you know a bestseller i'm like because i'm constantly promoting yeah and something you do so well is like you're constantly creating unique content to share the world that adds value consistently thank you if you just posted uh a podcast and said and then just hope people find it it's not going to happen no you've got to put it out there tease people to get in there right well that so that brings up a whole another point all right that's the lack of patience and the lack of consistency and so what we have now and and i i we you have a pretty big uh millennial audience i would say right yeah it's broad but yes yeah too so i want to talk to those guys just for a minute sure um because they get a bad bad rap in my opinion um my company is made up of all millennials except five people all right and they are the hardest working best employees best team that you could ever imagine and find the hungry ones yeah yeah well well so i it's not that they're not hungry because i see all this stuff that's put out like i saw a simon sinek's interview where he said and i thought for the most part he was spot on but he said something that irked me in that interview and he said millennials want to want to have a they work for a purpose whatever that means and the thing about working for a purpose is that we're in a situation where business is so transparent that for us to get customers to become loyal to us we have to go and lead with purpose first if we leave with profit they're going to see through it right so we've got to solve their problems otherwise they're going to post about it they're going to talk about it they're going to share about it and people are going to know that you don't give a about your customers instantly yeah all right so you're dead here's the great thing about millennials millennials are awesome because they do care about purpose and they do care about solving a problem they do care about creating impact over money yes and when you care about those things first the money is always there so millennials are the ultimate people to work with when it comes to building a company however what the reason they're getting a bad rap is because we have all these older gray hair gray beard managers and ceos there's these guys they're not motivated by money well why don't you consider this that it might not be them that's the problem it's you it's you're trying to motivate them the way that you were motivated when you were 20 years old by getting an extra spiff or an extra commission or extra this because financially you know uh financial hunger is more important in that generation so we have a situation where we have this amazing workforce who is able to solve problems being driven by purpose and they're getting this bad reputation for no reason right okay and when we talked about a minute ago we were talk what we were talking about was being consistent and being patient that's that's the downfall of the millennials okay so it's not what a now yes and but you can't blame them for wanting it now because think about how you you and i grew up right um we didn't have you know we we we were like the last generation that grew up with like old technology yes and then now we're in new technology i got a cell phone when i was 17. exactly i was the first one in my high school to get us exactly me too you can't blame a whole generation of people because they were raised in a time in an era that doesn't really cultivate patience so when i say i want to speak to the millennials you guys have to work on your patience because what lewis is saying about being consistent with you know putting out content every single day for a year or you know working on your business every single day all day for five years to build a multi-million dollar brand that's not gonna change so you have to understand you guys you guys have awesome asset by being purpose driven and you're you're set up because you understand technology but please understand that patience part of it is not going to change it's still going to take time it's always going to take time for us to adopt a concept for us to become uh to like a concept to trust a concept to become loyal to a concept when we're buying things it's gonna be no different if you're selling things so you know if you're a millennial entrepreneur listening to this dude remember use the technology but don't rely on it and think that shit's going to happen like it has your whole life the patience aspect the time aspect of human psychology is always going to be there absolutely that's a great segment there and one of the things that i think is important is that any entrepreneur today i believe needs to have a purpose behind their mission behind their business right otherwise you're not going to get the millennial customers no who want to buy because of a purpose they want to believe they want to consume something whether it's supplements or a service software whatever it is clothing line it's they want to be attached to a mission bigger than just that that's right and that's why i think it's so important to talk about what our purpose is as a company right as a business owner as an entrepreneur right as opposed to just creating courses like give some of that for a bigger purpose right back to something right and have that lead with your mission that way right you sold a company huffington post to aol right right and i think that was 315 million is that correct now during the time you were building this company you didn't sleep much from what i remember right the first two years first two years because um we launched the huffington post in 2005 and in april 2007 i collapsed from sleep deprivation and exhaustion and hit my head on my desk and broke my cheekbone in the middle of the day in the in the morning not even in the middle of the day and and that was the beginning of my starting on this journey of reevaluating my life of looking at what are the things i needed to change in my life and and for me the keystone habit you know that i changed and everything else became easier was sleep i went from four to five hours to eight hours ninety-five percent of the time you know my work in progress i'm perfect and um i suddenly sort of started looking around and seeing that i was not alone that millions of people were burnt out yeah and that we are living a culture which is fueled by burnout and it's kind of amazing because the new science now is so conclusive that sleep is a performance enhancer that everything in our lives gets better and our productivity our health our relationships our happiness so why is it so hard for us to actually do something that is free and available to us and i think that's partly because we've created this culture mostly created by you guys not not you personally louise but man you know that's that um that basically wears this sleep deprivation like a badge of honor like i'm too busy and too important to sleep or i'll sleep when i'm dead or you snooze you lose you know all these things absolutely and basically they're all wrong yeah yeah it's kind of interesting it's kind of like the food industry in a sense where there they told us to uh you know the breads and grains and milks and all these things were actually good for us but now the science is like well actually that's what's causing all the cancer or making you exhausted it's like the gluten the dairy or whatever so it's kind of like we have to re-learn and even if you go further back you know and it's kind of amazing to look at some of the ads in the 1950s by doctors selling cigarettes right of course and you had like literally doctors in white coats mental cigarettes refresh your throat give you cancer but um so yes it's like we often live under false assumptions modern science has disproven them this has been the golden age of scientific findings around sleep and it's very recent the first scientific sleep center was founded in 1970 at stanford and now there are 2500 sleep centers what's a sleep center basically they all they study different aspects of sleep what happens to the brain at stanford sheri ma started sports and sleep and she was the one who became the pioneer of proving that sleep was a legal performance enhancer without negative side effects yes and so you have um andrei goodallah for example who had such a fantastic year despite his injury can i just see a photo with you and him yes i interviewed him at stanford the golden state warriors mvp absolutely um considers his sleep what got him the mvp uh title and and he's kind of so disciplined about it i mean i talked to his wife too you know the getting his eight hours no screens or tv in the bedroom temperature at 67 degrees everything dark you know all the things that i include in the book called the tips and techniques of how to get a great night's sleep and he's practicing and when he's on the road uh making sure that he has as many of these things available to him right so that he can actually get the restorative sleep that makes him better on the court what's the science behind recovering the muscles with whatever it is seven or eight hours of sleep with a cool temperature the blackout you know calming the mind is what's the science behind that what did doctors or scientists say about how it actually enhances the muscles or the heart of the brain or all the things well it enhances everything both the physical body that needs that recovery time in fact the more intensely you work out the more essential the recovery time is for the body but also what happens to the brain because as you know being an athlete yourself winning is not just a function of your muscles it's also a function of your brain and and i talk in the book about how if you miss a shot or you make a mistake which every athlete does in the course of a game if you actually keep replaying that in your head while the game is going on that's a recipe for disaster and if you're sleep deprived you're more likely to dwell on your failures to dwell on your fears and anxieties i mean whether you're an athlete or a busy mom you know you're more likely to be irritable and cranky and um all the things that make life much harder are aggravated when you're sleep deprived yeah it has a lot to do with meditation too you know if when we when we don't meditate and we don't we're not being mindful we are more irritated we're more stressed out we're not recovering we're not we're relaxing the mind and the body i think sleep and meditation go hand in hand do you meditate as well i i do meditate yes and i love my meditation yeah but the thing about sleep is whether you meditate or not whether you work out or not everybody has to sleep right exactly so everybody has a relationship with sleep so the question is how can we make this relationship the best it can be so that every other aspect of our life is enhanced do you feel like um you know in 2000 was 2007 2005 2007 you said you started to realize that you were like crashing and all these things well i didn't actually realize that until i collapsed three o'clock so that's what is so interesting how many years were you kind of living this lifestyle of not paying attention to your sleep well you know it would come and go okay you know i'm i started as a writing the book about how i was brought up by a mother who revered sleep in a one-bedroom apartment in athens greece she wanted to sleep all the time no no not at all she just rarely she just brought us up believing that if we get enough sleep we're going to be better at school okay and we're going to be happier and in fact she kind of knew that because we all wanted to maintain our weight or lose weight depending on the time this was a great way to do that she wasn't a scientist but the modern science now validates right that if you want to lose weight sleep more sleep enough you know it's not about more actually what is interesting modern science tells us you cannot oversleep unless you are a narcoleptic or suffering from severe depression if you are just um just going on about your life right your body wakes you up when it's fully recharged you can't oversleep if you oversleep does it hurt you if you get 12 hours of sleep no if you get 12 hours of sleep you're probably making up some sleep deficits gotcha okay you know once you once you've paid your sleep deficit and you are in a regular routine your body will naturally wake you up gotcha okay um interesting so your mom kind of had this intuition so my mom had that intuition and and brought us up like that but then when i went to england to get my degree and then to new york i just bought into the prevailing culture right which was that mindset yes that if you are going to succeed yes then you need to sleep and really now for me it's a little bit like choosing to get to your destination in a broken down um truck you know and a gas gasoline car right and instead of a tesla um tesla's right it's so smooth i mean when you are fully recharged it's like there you are in your tesla going for your going to your destination faster more efficiently and also enjoying the journey yeah so that's why i've become such a sleep evangelist and this um crusade that we've launched and the book is one part of it but we're taking the book and the sleep revolution to a hundred colleges wow to convince millennials of the importance of sleep are you seeing that a lot of millennials are not sleeping that they still have this pull all-nighter mentality like in college you know for finals and tests oh absolutely it's not happening it's happening and with huge and dangerous consequences and that's what i wanted i structured the book so you start with the crisis and give people an overview of how dangerous sleep deprivation is how prevalent it is and how it's also at the heart of a lot of mental health issues really like people who are depressed or anxious um at the heart of it is sleep deprivation so they're linking the diseases that we're having just a mental emotional mental and the physical obviously um sleep deprivation is directly linked to obesity diabetes hypertension and heart disease even cancer and definitely alzheimer's really because when we i mean when we sleep is the time when our brain washes away you know the toxins that are built during the day interesting is it is it more powerful to have vivid dreams or to not dream at all is there a difference does obviously to remember your dreams because it means you're getting enough sleep if you remember them yeah okay if you are sleep deprived you're much less likely to remember your dream i have a whole section on dreams and it's a good dreams are a great source of insights a lot of inventors have come up with their inventions and dreams larry page came up with the idea for google in a dream in a dream wow okay and paul mccartney came up with let it be in a dream all the lyrics were written in the dream interesting so whatever it is you're doing um but you're saying if we're not sleeping well then we're not gonna have dreams we can remember or maybe there'll be more nightmares and dreams well then they you're much less likely to remember if you're not sleeping and do we know and maybe maybe we're not aware of this but do we know about why we have nightmares and why we have positive dreams or yeah i mean that basically um dreaming is a time when we either process a lot of the incomplete emotions of the day and or we process our anxieties about the future or them um more insightful dreams that tap into our wisdom so it depends you know it's the whole gamma that's what i love about my sleep time now that you i go to sleep and and i don't know what the movie is going to be right um but it's so it's a little bit like rekindling the romance with sleep but i wanted first to convince people of why it is important i think we are so data driven and the science chapter gives you all the data you want to really believe it's important and after you believe it's important and and after we go through the history chapter that shows you why we started devaluing sleep in the first industrial revolution when we thought human beings could be like machines and minimize downtime then you have the second half of the book which is all about how to but the first of the week yes how to maximize your performance how to um maximize your sleep and um there are tons of and tips right resources resources exactly but for me the the key the most important thing if you're going to do one thing it's to turn off all your devices and start with five minutes before you're going to turn off the lights you know just have a little demarcation line between um your day life and your sleep right why is that important to turn off the screens because otherwise what happens that our bodies may be exhausted but our minds remain in a stimulated mode you know blue light stimulates the brain but also beyond the blue light is just that we haven't given our brain some opportunity to power down and that's what wakes people up in the middle of the night and even if they go to sleep because they're physically exhausted their brains wake them up with whatever it is they haven't processed you know the mind chatter yeah so i think what is key is to have a little transition to sleep and it can be a really simple and short transition mine is about 30 minutes now but it can i believe in microscopic steps you know how it is you build habits with very small i'm trying to do this big job don't try to yeah make the big jump just little things that you can stick to and then little by little the kind of person that you become when you are fully recharged becomes like a magnet you want it all the time i want to be that person i don't like now i don't like myself when i'm the other kind of person when i'm sleep deprived when i'm irritable when i you tell me something and i get upset or are you just slow or whatever oh yes you make mistakes you know you're not as sharp in every possible world [Music] how do we negotiate with our mind to achieve something we've never achieved yeah so the first thing to achieve is why do you want to achieve it like what is your outcome many of us walk into the room even into the room we're talking ourselves and they're not honest about the outcome what is the outcome are you why are you going through the motion is it because society has told you that that's what it should be or is it that your parents always wanted that from you or is it that you have been uh neglected in some way and you're trying to please a bunch of people that you can't stand or that you want to change the world is it that you know that you being healthier is going to be uh able to be around in your family's life much longer or you're going to be able to uh stop some social injustices like what is your why first of all that's the first step figure out why you want that that's the first step i always use this example is but people always say well i want to be a millionaire what are you going to do when you get a million dollars what are you going to do with the money some people go i'm just going to keep making money well how are okay you're going to be a millionaire so if over 65 percent of the lotto winners are broke three years after the winning lotto same thing with athletes and football players yeah and football players three years oddly they didn't know their why the football player knew his why or you know he knew his why oh i want to get that ball or run that play i want to become part of a championship team because i love it or because it makes me fulfilled or it's fun i love going to the gym i love i love the i love i'm there for competition you know better than i do because obviously you are an athlete but if if you don't know your wife for a million dollars well when you get the money you're going to buy a bugatti you're going to buy 10 cars and then what yeah but but then you just have the bugatti right so now what else you need right are you going to buy 10 cars are you going to move to bali and live off 30 000 a year for 10 years carve canoes save the turtles and invest in some stocks because stocks are going to average out 12 every year and you're going to turn 600 thousand dollars into uh whatever case and then when you come back like what are you going to do yeah yeah right are you going to buy investment properties and keep doubling down many people go through life without their why and so when they're working that nine to five that that they're sick of they're going home and complaining and you know i i forgot what i was watching the show where a girl was she was like she was now living in nature but she said i lived in ireland and i was fighting every weekend in clubs and bars and i realized i was working and i was so miserable so that was my release so i was working to fight because i was so damn miserable with my life and then she started to find causes that she liked she stayed the job but she would go home at night and put some time into causes that she liked and she got able to get out of that circumstance and move to someplace else and now she's doing what she loves but people don't know their why yeah what's your why right now you've been doing shark tank for what 11 years now 11 years 12 years we've been investing in a billion businesses helping entrepreneurs grow you've got you know amazing kids yeah so so my why is as i said before first of all uh you know is to take care of my family and my my wife and my my youngest daughter because my oldest daughter daughters when uh when when they were born i was poor and all i knew was i gotta go out and make as much money as i can to give these to get these girls in an area where they're more protected where they can have a good education and have a medical and things in case something happens to them and to break the cycle in my family of people who were just average people my mother helped break that cycle by being one of the first to go to college and me i'm going to break that cycle next but then i said to myself with the little girl now that i have the resources available it's more how much love can i give her because i never had experienced the wanting to come home purely for love i was just so focused on trying to make money because if these if i didn't if i wasn't successful then like most parents i'll sleep in a refrigerator box on the street if i have to make sure those girls had just one place to live so that's one of my why's also you know i've been on a show for 11 years that uh has changed the way that people uh have uh under understood or or or they get to educate themselves on being entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs i'm invested in various many companies on these people's uh you know they allowed me to invest in their dreams so who am i to give up and also i'm on the petco board and petco uh you know saving animals i want to stop him and travel i have much more to do and if i have a public platform that i can come and sit with you or go on gma and stuff like that and i can help change people's perception of whatever the case is sex gender religion one of the cases to to make them realize that if i can do it they can do it then then i'm doing my job you know where do you think you'd be had you not had your your two oldest daughters do you think you'd have been as hungry to go earn make a build a business earn money grow or you think like okay well i've got enough money for me i don't know you know what i had i was worth many millions of dollars by the age of 30 years old i was absolutely broke and poor and sleeping on the ground at 27 um at the ground in my house how were you when you had your daughter your first daughter 20 27 26 got you right and because of my daughters and my ex-wife i think that they leveled me to some extent because you don't give a 30 year old guy from the hood millions of dollars in the bank at 30 years old because i think i would have i never tried cocaine or any of that stuff but if i didn't have my girls i probably would have been a huge supporter of cocaine because it looked like it was fun with the people having it so i think that they they they they they governed me in a certain way um in a positive way in a very positive way and it made me also it made me also want to live to leave my daughters a legacy i wanted them to be proud of their father so i refrained from doing and having a lot of the temptations that i've seen a lot of people fall yeah fall short and yeah and get caught up in nothing wrong with that world healing [Music] this applies to any industry in any career getting a job getting a boyfriend a husband whatever it is yes you got to persuade people you do how did you learn how to persuade people so effectively to buy your services and be part of your team when there's marketing and branding and commercials and everyone else is trying to do the same for them what is your key to persuasion without being sleazy or salesy like i'm a salesman i can't stand that right like they blink three times that's a buying signal you know go for the jugular or whatever i can't stand that stuff so um persuasion anything so if you want to persuade your children if you want to persuade someone to take a look at your faith if you want to persuade someone in business if you want to persuade someone to help you in anything or help them in anything it's real simple for me monster belief and so you can't transfer to me that which you're not experiencing yourself right so you can't give me that people are always trying to come up with a magic word the magic clothes the magic this and there are words you should and shouldn't use in persuasion no question about it right there are think there are words that are more effective than other words and clearly to be successful in any business you need to know what those words are in your business but the best persuaders the best motivators the best speakers the best physicians the best school teachers the best parents are incredible persuaders and what they do is they come from a monster place of conviction and belief that they can transfer you to because people respond to energy much more than they do words they respond to what they feel not what they hear and see hear and see are real low level influencers energy spirit transfer of energy is what people respond to and so i'm cognizant all the time of getting in a state of total belief and certainty about what it is that i'm going to represent or speaking if i'm speaking on stage about a particular topic and then transferring that energy into people and that seems generic or hokey but it's actually what great persuaders do in fact if you're listening to this you think of anybody that you know who's incredibly persuasive they may have great words they probably do but it's something you feel from them right and that's the difference between a great doctor and a so-so dr great doctor says here's the prescription you're out of here another one is it's gonna work or not i don't know another one you leave their feeling that you're going to be healed feeling you're in good hands you feel their certainty you feel their confidence same when you hear a speaker if you're buying real estate from somebody but it's not just buying things it's a great pastor in a church a great person if you do tm who's taught you tm it's their certainty it's the energy you feel and so for me it's always getting to i have to really believe what i'm saying i have to really feel it to transfer to which is why we were talking earlier there's just a bunch of products i don't offer or won't offer in my business because i don't believe in them and so i won't offer them i have to believe in what i'm doing so that's me is energy transfers persuasion and so how does someone develop belief when they don't already believe themselves great great question how do they how do they develop belief in themselves yeah if they don't already believe in themselves i don't know what i want to do i don't know what i'm convicted in i don't know you know i don't have the skills i don't have the yes experience how do i create that belief you do okay first off self-confident people so how do we build self-confidence because that's what your belief okay when i mean somebody self-confident here's what i know about them they've built a reputation with themselves so they don't need to build a reputation with other people okay so if you're really what do you mean by that they honor their own word you got it yeah the key to self-confidence is really simple and it is this is absolutely i've trained hundreds of thousands of people i've spoken to millions of people around the world i can tell you this the self-confident people i know whether they are athletes school teachers mechanics parents stay-at-home moms you name it they have a pattern of keeping promises they make to themselves the groundwork of beginning to build self-confidence is to begin to keep the promises you make to you and that's why it's important to begin to even make small problems if you're going to get up at a certain time in the morning not only do it but then give yourself credit say i did what i said i was going to do if it's in your diet or your fitness don't just eat the healthy foods go i'm doing what i said i was going to do you begin to build this reputation if you're constantly being influenced and moved by what other people think about you it means there's a deficiency in what you think about you and so the key is not some you know enso esoteric like belief system it's a pattern of keeping the promises that you make to you that's the groundwork of self-confidence for sure and it is a pattern when i meet people that lack confidence i think let me serve you let's begin to keep the promises you make to you you're so worried about there's this addiction to other people's approval in the world right it's the greatest the greatest addiction today it used to be drugs before there was alcohol there's all these addictions sex addictions whatever the number one addiction in the world today is the addiction to other people's approval and that's because we don't approve of ourselves we or we don't feel a spirit a universe a god that we believe in that approves of us and so my confidence comes from both my faith and in the fact that i keep promises i make to myself that's the groundwork of all confidence yeah how did you develop this sense of belief and confidence early on then when you were failing as a in the financial services yeah it was i had to separate from outcome and so you weren't getting the results yeah i was not pre everything for me initially was contingent upon outcomes and results and i know there are people in our space that say hey get your money you got to get this you got to do that and that's easy to say because they've already built tremendous self-confidence but most people watch that go okay but how do i do that and so i had to start to take some solace some confidence in the fact that i was behaving in a way requisite to eventually produce success right and so i started to give myself credit i started to work on my identity i started to read the right books listen to the right things and for me it starts with my body like i couldn't control what other people would say to me but i could control that i got up and worked out i could control that i moved my body there's something that we've both learned from tony about just literally moving our bodies physically changes our state and like everybody hears that but i actually do it i really believe it's hard to get depressed it's hard to not believe in yourself i was at the gym today i was watching this couple very odd dudes they were just sort of really dancing and the first part of me was like judging i'm like these guys are so weird you know you know in public but then i thought you know what that's not right these guys are in a great joyful blissful state right they're they're these are not depressed guys these are not guys lacking self-confidence so often the way we move our bodies can change that too and so the answer for was i started to keep the promises i made to me separated from outcome there's it's nothing wrong with having goals and outcomes but if your outcomes and goals define you whether you get them or you don't get them you will have a hollow life in other words if you're defined by the goals you achieve you actually get them and you think that's going to make you happy and define you you're going to lose and at the other hand if you constantly define yourself by the fact that you aren't achieving your goals and outcomes you're going to us both of obsessing over outcomes will lead to a pretty hollow existence but if i can if i can be from a place of my intent my behaviors i finally figured out my intentions are good i'm a good dude i'm a good person and you know what i'm trying to do good i'm trying to improve my life i'm trying to help people and i keep promises that i make to myself both of those things were the stimulus for me to be because i'm a naturally i think you're probably this way too i'm a naturally incredibly insecure person i think everybody has insecurities i think i was dosed at birth with more of them than a normal person sure i'm introverted i'm shy i all of those things i think growing up in a family that had some dysfunction um just added to my insecurity and so usually when you meet somebody who's incredibly confident like the people who think you and i are i always know they probably came from a further place these are people who really had to work on themselves i really had to do this stuff because i was so low on the totem pole in terms of self-esteem i had to really figure out how to change this stuff so and what ends up happening is like any muscle you build i built a pretty big muscle of self-confidence over time because i had to train it so badly yeah yeah over and over they're going to reflect back this in five years and 10 years and say that's a thing that screwed me up or hurt me and and be a victim to it as opposed to saying okay this is happening and how can i make the most of it and what's it going to take for me to learn a new skill or get more creative or be hungrier in this time or more important who's your teachers um who are you listening to well you know that's why i keep saying to the younger the millennials you know if they're a pack of wimps you know i meet millennials who are just horrifyingly weak snowflakes i call them you know yeah they go to college formats they're taught trigger events or whatever you know i don't know what they say today but they've got to have special rooms where there's no whatever i'm going holy mackerel welcome to the real world you know and there's other millennials who are as tough as nails i mean this is the biggest opportunity they've ever had huge so it just depends upon what's between this here and this year what's in your heart yeah for the uh what do you think is the the num the next step the first step or the number one step for the average person with you know the kind of the normal job that they might be losing if they have some debt they got some credit card what's the next step for them to not only survive but thrive in this market in this time well i always say quit your job but that's not you know i don't have a job i never i've only had one job and i never wanted a job after that because i had to be hungry not to say you know but we're all different where humans we're different beings if i show this diagram here you know it's why i created my cash flow board game because we have four different intelligences we have mental intelligence we have i don't know what that one is spasm you probably have very good physical to make you know all and all that yeah emotional intelligence but spiritual intelligence so i went to military school in new york the first thing is spiritual you know i become a marine that's spiritual yeah you know what i mean because you're putting your life on the freaking line yeah you know so nazim talib you know wrote the book the black swan he also wrote uh anti-fragile he says there's three kinds of people in the world there's fragile and that's what our school systems are putting out fragile 1b snowflakes and that's your choice you want to be that way have a good life the second type is that sauce are fragile like a champagne flute yep you hit at the shatters then the second one is called robust and a robust person is like the rock you know you can pound on them dump on them yeah they take it but that's all they do they take it and that anti-fragile is somebody like you where they pound the crap out of you and you get smarter and better because so i love nazim talent you know a lot of people call them doctor doom but the way i look at this whole thing this economy is we're probably going after depression you know we're not going to get out of this really oh yeah and so the thing is is this good for you or bad for you i'm looking forward to it you know the last the last question was 2008 and i made more money in 2008 than in my whole life so this one here 2000 you know what is 20 i'm going to get even richer but they're going to get poor and if they're baby boomers they're going to blame it on this coronavirus oh my health you know that hey hit the road put on some running shoes change your diet get some sunlight you know get healthy don't get don't be a wimp but oh no i'm so afraid of dying i'm going you're already dead you don't even know it yet you know in the marine corps you know in the marine corps we used to call them corpse people right corpse not core yeah of course no a corpse a corpse man is a person who's dead but doesn't know it wow they're so afraid of dying they're already dead yeah it's about taking action taking control of your life taking control of your health your finances everything this is the best time to be alive right now i did an interview with dave ramsey uh last week and he said you know the last three or four recessions or down economies whatever you want to call it crashes he said i made more money during those times than i do in in good times so i'm hearing him say that i'm hearing you say that how did you make more money then and how are you planning to turn this into an opportunity to make more money now for you what are the things the actual like action steps is it investing more in the stock market is it real estate is it buying other assets what does that look like for you well now the lesson is here you got to choose your teachers wisely when the market crashed in 2008 guess how much money i borrowed a lot 300 million no way from investors the banker how does that how does that work because interest rates are dropping and real estate prices were going to the toilet and when i walked into my banker this is what rich dad poured out about british airport is about a financial statement income statement balance sheet statement of cash flow it's a book on accounting people don't even know it's a book on accounting so i walked into my bank with my partner and had all this property that was floating to the surface and i say i'll take them off your hands i just give give me the money to buy the property wow that's cojones 300 million give me the money and i'll buy your properties for you that's crazy so it depends and this is my whole thing i am now 700 million almost a billion in debt really you know why because i don't pay any taxes the more debt i have the less tax i pay and the average guy goes how do you do that because you have bad teachers and so it's this whole thing that you got to choose your teachers wisely that's why i wrote the book fake fake money fake teachers fake assets i don't touch that garbage of wall street puts out i don't have a 401k i don't have stocks mutual funds etfs doesn't mean you shouldn't but i don't need them okay right and the other part is look for young guys the best teachers are not on colleges the best teacher are on youtube the best teachers are on youtube wake up you know this guy is george gammon he's fantastic patrick beth david fantastic you know he's great records the fake teachers are in colleges and they're telling to get a job right the carpet ladder you know patrick david said it the best and i love that guy he says there's two kinds of leaders war time and peace time and a peacetime leader is a guy like my poor death he goes through all the right schools he has all the pedigrees the credentials he does all the right things he climbs the corporate on the government ladder and all that or a wartime leader goes to goes to war so jobs steve jobs the war time leader i'm a wartime leader differences i went to war i went to war twice on the front lines yeah and i checked what happened so i joined the marine corps i got a flight call in pensacola i learned to fly go to camp pendleton i strap all my weapons i go to advanced weapons and camp pendleton i go to okinawa and then they send me into vietnam and i i came out of vietnam about four months later back to back to restage in okinawa and i thought everybody had changed i looked at the fellow marines and i thought and it wasn't that they were i had been to war you got tougher it's different when somebody's trying to kill you every single mission i went down three times no way yeah and i came back stronger and tougher so i come back to okinawa i got like a week off and they're gonna ship me back into vietnam again i said what happened to these guys and it wasn't that they changed i changed so what happens to entrepreneurs who go out and they get their ass handed to them and they survive if you survive you see the world differently so that's what happened to you when you get injured and all this yeah you see a different world whereas some peace time who's climbing the corporate ladder right now they just lost their job they're sucking their thumb you know this is the worst time for them yet for a wartime leader they're excited they're excited about it yeah it's the best of times yeah if you're an entrepreneur right now the world's open to you you're an employee your world's dead to you what advice yeah an entrepreneur can create their own success yeah what advice i'll start going it's a job they're a peace time warrior remember see watch patrick beck david you know he's great later peace time later which one are you you know i mean no that's that's what it comes down to yeah that's true so this is the best of times for the wartime guys horrible time for peace time right and for the people that are the wartime people what is the the best advice you would give them now for the next year or two years to capitalize on how do they make more money how do they make their millions during this time what would you say you can't make money now you should hang it up i i tell all you freaking millennials man you got you know i don't know where it is i got this iphone if you can't make money with that hang it up you know like we used to say hang up the jock strap you know the team you can't make money with an iphone through social media through marketing you have the world at your fingertips and you can't make money the problem is between this area and this is not out here it's in here that's why you've got to choose your teachers wisely yeah you know so let me just say it again the best teachers are on youtube so is the best porno take up your mind make up your mind which you want to listen to you know what i mean we have a choice so yeah i'm just being real to you i hear you man i hear you what's what's the best investment people can make then to to opera uh capitalizing this opportunity is the investment in education left here look if you're poor right now it was called look in the mirror that's what i always said to me says if you're looking in the mirror right now and you see a loser that's what you are you can't make money in this economy you better change your thinking you know you know hindsight is 20 20 as i said yes yes that was if you're looking you know you don't have any money you don't have a job your boyfriend or girlfriend has left you and uh senate goes well how did i get here did i get here there was a there was a great book called uh you know gulag archipelago by sulza nathan so he gets thrown in this in a um concentration camp or a gulag siberia and he says how did i get here you know how he got there because he was a peacetime leader didn't fight back so people are being sold adult go to school get a job pay taxes save money get out of debt buy a house a house is an asset and invest for the long term in a well-defined portfolio of stocks bonds mutual funds and etfs and i do none of that and why do you recommend the opposite because i don't have to do that crap that's that's kool-aid go to school go to school what do they teach you about money nothing get a job you pay the highest taxes pay your taxes i don't pay taxes get out of debt well debt money is debt after 1971 if you know your history of money your house is not an asset house is a liability and why would an investment long-term in the stock market when i can make my own assets i don't need the stock market i'm not saying you shouldn't but i create my own assets i create my own cash flow every day i mean through you mean through your business through your your right your creativity i'm an entrepreneur yeah most people are employees they're looking for jobs i'm just looking for so like right now should entrepreneurs invest in in the stock market do you think if you're entrepreneurial you shouldn't invest look find a stupid teacher's gonna tell you what to do i'm asking your opinion i'm curious as a teacher i don't give advice you know i wouldn't follow warren buffett either you know why because he invests the money why do i let him invest my money i want the fun so what's the what's the investment you make the most in look please hear what i'm saying yes i made a fortune in 2008 2020 i'm making more money i'm paying less taxes it doesn't mean i don't have problems but i'm prepared for this my biggest problem right now is because everybody's taking a vacation i can't get enough product i'm selling out you know my cash flow game is sold out it's selling out constantly all over the world all over the world i get royalties from my book sales my book sales are going through the roof right now so i'm making more information yeah there's two kinds of discipline there's internal self-discipline and then there's external discipline so right now if the world's kicking your butt that's externalism and if you're self-disciplined the world's kissing your butt right now it's up to you so that's why i love the marine corps that's why i love going to military school and not a university because i got my ass kicked every single freaking day first word i had to learn at the marin at the academy mission mission is spiritual what's your mission and my mission has always been to serve people most people all they give a is making money that's brewing people that's called the federal reserve bank wall street and all that i want nothing to do with them i just don't play their game but you have to get smarter enough to play their game so that's why youtube has the best best teachers this guy george gammon man he's great great teacher patrick beck david fantastic teacher you know cartoon fantastic teachers so choose your teachers wisely that's all that's what i say because i have to choose between my rich dad and my poor dad [Music] what is the one thing the main thing that you feel from all the interviews you've done that makes great entrepreneurs great there's a bunch of answers to that question and and some of them are predictable like resilience or a strong sense of optimism you know um the ability to get back up when you get knocked down and those are all true like you have to have that but the one thing like because not every person i've interviewed has gone to college or is educated they're not all book smart um they're not all charismatic they're not you know they're different they're they're like us right but the one thing that that binds every person i interview is they've all either have naturally or have learned to develop the ability to withstand rejection to accept to basically accept that lots of people are going to say no and keep kind of grinding through it that's it's one of the hardest things is to deal with rejection deal with people judging you deal with people saying that like this is bad this is horrible this isn't going to work it's because you want that confirmation we want confirmation when we're doing something like yes you're amazing go do it but when everyone's saying no and you can go through it because at some point great entrepreneurs are gonna get people to say no yes and that's some you've got to learn how to get through it i interviewed this guy topia otana um a couple weeks ago and he founded this company called calendly have you ever used calendly it's a really great i mean everyone put for podcast interviews it's like all we do is schedule technologies yeah so he started this i don't know like six or seven years ago and um his first job while he was a college student was selling adt home monitoring services door-to-door right so he's in athens georgia and he's this kid who's from nigeria he came to the us when he was 16. and he's going door-to-door in athens georgia selling um you know knocking on doors trying to sell people home monitoring systems and i sent him to tope i said didn't you ever get discouraged with all those doors slamming in your face didn't you tired of hearing people saying like no it's listening and he said no because i knew that that there was a hit rate and you know eventually uh one of those doors would open and the person would say yes and i would make a commission on that sale that was more money than i ever had in my life so it was fine i mean it's a similar story with sarah blakely who founded spanx like she sold fax machines door-to-door it was she describes it as torture you know she but it steeled her when it came time to starting her business like she had to find a textile manufacturer that was willing to make a prototype of these undergarments that no one had ever seen before and all these textile plants said no until one finally said yes but she was ready for that process because she had gone through like rejection exposure therapy exactly yeah like she had a phd in rejection for i think it was six or seven years she was doing door-to-door yeah and do you think it's harder for uh to get successful or to stay successful as entrepreneurs is it easier to like okay i made something work with this success or is it easier once you get there to maintain it's a great question i mean i haven't put a lot of thought into it but here's what i would say i think getting to a place where you have found some success it's sort of like finding lift it's like when an airplane um you know takes lift and then and then you know you hit cruising altitude at 35 000 feet and there will be turbulence but i think that in general in my experience i think once you have achieved some level of success it's easier to build on that because people have seen you succeed in some fashion or form like like what i do what you do i mean 25 years ago when i started out on radio before i was podcasting i couldn't get on the air why would somebody give me a chance you know i had no track record i had no no one knew who i was nobody knew if i was any good and i sucked by the way right how it is you suck when you start you suck and then you suck less and then a little less a little less but you know once i started to go on air it was like that's that domino falls and other people's like oh yeah oh yeah yeah you can you can you can do a story or are you sure you will we'll take your your your pitch and it's the same thing with i think with entrepreneurship which is once you you know it doesn't mean that you're gonna if you start a bill like is kevin's sister i'm gonna be able to found another billion dollar instagram page oh probably not i mean that but it but will he continue to be successful in any endeavor he does yeah and he'll also have some failures but you know he has that sort of and most entrepreneurs who have who have achieved something who've created something and built something even things that have failed they have that like that lift you know that keeps them keeps them flying and do you think anyone could be a thriving successful entrepreneur i mean like sustainably making money and having a business with customers do you think it's possible for anyone or some of us just not wired because when i was a kid growing up i was never into baseball cards i didn't do the lemonade stand thing i i never made any money i was like an athlete and i didn't know the concept of here's a value here's a skill go sell it try to get some money i didn't know that concept until i was 25 and i needed to make money until it was a necessity and there was no other way and 2008 happened there was no jobs and i was like well i got to figure out what i'm going to do to survive yeah is it a thing that people can learn or is it kind of you that god or you don't i'm a thousand percent believer that virtually every skill that entrepreneurs have are acquired now there are some people like mark cuban is a good example of just a freak of nature like when he was in his teens he read a book called how to retire at age 35 okay he wanted to become like he was determined to become a millionaire by age 30. he went he picked a college program where he could graduate in three years to save money he instantly went to dallas because he thought there were opportunities there he got a job bartending at night because he knew it would stuff his pockets with tips and in the daytime he started selling computer software i mean he was a millionaire by age 30 like he but he's a freak of nature right in that sense i think most entrepreneurs acquire these skills over time i mean let's go back to rejection for a moment so some people are just naturally easier with it right like you you remember you probably knew like that guy in high school who would just ask a hundred people out on dates and he wouldn't care if 99 of them said no because he knew that one would eventually say yes right yeah now i was not that kid you might not have been i was not that kid i was terrified of girls i was terrified right i was terrified of people saying like no so it's sort of a weird kind of example but you know the the idea of going door-to-door to sell something or pitching people on your product going to investors it's really hard it requires the ability to hear know and to keep fighting and you know one of the insights that i gained from that i learned from the show is just in this weird this is like this weird thing that's happened which is that i have ended up interviewing a significant number of mormon entrepreneurs okay now mormons are a tiny percentage of the american population like two percent okay um and they have a pretty significantly high rate of entrepreneurship in their cu and their community and their culture and also business success so what is it that they're doing differently well they're doing something very different than pretty much every other population in america door-to-door salesmen they send their 18 year olds to the country around the world and they say go live somewhere for two years and get as many converts as you can you're gonna have to knock on a thousand doors to get five ten people to accept the book of mormon and you have to learn the new language and speak a different language out of your comfort zone perfectly and you've got to pay your own way and by the way you have to be polite and gracious and friendly you can't be like why are you slamming the door on my face like you are a mormon missionary you're representing the church like you've got to be really polite and friendly and kind so those kids go abroad for two years they come back to the us utah or wherever they start college they're way more equipped than your average 21 year old to start their lives and also to start a business and it's a story that i've heard from david nealeman the founder of jetblue it's a story you know i've heard from joel clark the founder of kodiak cakes that you know the protein powder pancakes he got back from his mission in australia and he started this company this business he he had no fear of going door to door to sell pancake mix and so it's i'm not you know i'm not suggesting that everybody become a mormon i'm saying that i'm saying is that it's a really interesting kind of case study you know i don't think the church deliberately you know setting its its young people up to be entrepreneurs but it's setting them up to be independent and um and so that's a learned skill i mean mormons are not more preter naturally more gifted in in rejection of the ability with standard rejection they just had two years of it so they're better at it and i think all of us can kind of replicate that in a sense yeah it's i don't know if you've read the book uh influenced by ciao dini um or if you've studied any of his work but it's essentially how to influence people and a lot of people use it in business and marketing for like their sales pages and things like that and a lot of sites like amazon use the strategies one might be social proof one is like ability testimonials all that different type of stuff and i have a lot of mormon friends as well who are in the entrepreneurial world and they just all seem to be successful i'm like i don't know it's amazing but it's like they all kind of follow these principles where like you just said it's like they're all very kind and people want to do business with kind people they they listen well uh you know so you always feel like you're the most interesting person in the room when they're just asking questions and listening they are you know they usually come with a gift like they'll give you even if it's a a book it's like they're giving you a gift where you want to reciprocate the law of reciprocity and it's like they're following these natural ways of like building connection and building anticipation and desire that just translates into their life in business in a beautiful way so yeah i agree and i think if everyone went door-to-door for a month you would probably gain a lot of wisdom but imagine having to learn a new language and go door-to-door for two years yeah without your friends if you don't speak to your friends and family for i think six months at a time or something like that yep you're out of your comfort zone totally and by the way when i was a kid and you know this is in the you know in the 80s like school fundraisers were going door-to-door to sell chocolate bars now of course yes they don't allow that anymore because of safety reasons even though on every objective standard uh the the united states is a much safer country today than it was in the 1980s but you know in the 80s my parents were like yeah go sell your chocolate bars and i would just walk around the neighborhood and knock on doors and you know now i think it'd be a little bit harder but um you know kids were kind of exposed to that um more than they are today um i i feel like when i was a kid not to say that like it was better when i was younger it's just to say that these are things that that you can do you can instill in yourself and in the people you know why is it so hard for us to learn about how to manage rejection if that's the main skill the number one key to success for a lot of these people is they the ability to overcome rejection why is it so hard for us as humans to to deal with that well there's a really famous professor at harvard named ron heifetz he's a teaches a course on leadership and he has this concept where he basically he looks at successful and highly effective leaders and basically what they do is they're able to kind of step out of their own bodies and stand on a like a proverbial balcony and look down at themselves in the situation they're in like barack obama is a really good example of this he can just remove himself from a situation and just look and assess the whole situation and it's almost like you've hired an outside consultant to tell you what you're doing wrong most of us don't do that it's very hard to do that it requires a lot of practice and training i don't do that you know and you know i think we we tend to hope that the product or the idea or the concept that we're talking about will be validated by the people we know or even people we don't know because we believe in it and i think for most of us um our our passion and our belief and our connection and commitment to that can be fairly easily shattered if enough people are like this sucks or this is stupid but but what i think this kind of rejection slash going to the balcony technique does is it enables you to take the long view and to say no you know i i mean here's here's a great example tristan walker one of my favorite entrepreneurs i ever ever interviewed he started this company called bevel okay now here's here's the thing that most white men don't know uh most white men go and buy who shave go and buy a razor you get the gillette five blade or six three mach seven whatever yeah and you like it because it got has five blades and shaves your skin and it actually shaves under your skin well if you have you know curly hair and many african-american men do that's not actually good for your skin and so shaving is really you know as tristan explained it's very traumatic especially when young black men start to shave because they you break out you get bombs these are bombs and scots and scars and they're you know they're no products that have spoken or or have really been developed for young black men and so he set out to build a razor it's called the bevel and he didn't want to be like this razor that you found or like the bottom of the ethnic aisle he wanted it to be like an iphone he wanted to be a beautiful razor in like a beautiful box that was right there next to gillette and whatever else and was as premium and you know he had a lot of people saying there's no market for this or you know even though he knew that african americans spend more on beauty products proportionately than almost any community in america he really and what he said to me was you know i said how did you how are you able to keep going when you kept hearing no when you when when there are people who are saying you know this is this is going nowhere and he said i kept going because i knew that if i couldn't make this work nobody could make this work and it was never going to see the light of day but i also knew that it had to see the light of day because because i needed it for me and i knew i i knew a lot of other men needed it for them too and it's just such an inspiring idea you know yeah i love this idea of you know the great entrepreneurs who find a problem for themselves or for someone close to them that they're like okay this doesn't work for me anymore this doesn't work for this situation and i need to find a better solution what if we did this that's where the idea usually spawns from someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality and and so what he did was what you do on this program every day how people live their lives as a result of the story they believe about themselves and when you have your program and your guests and as is your ideas of how they move through the things that affect them what you do is interrupt their story i tell speakers i train speakers how to discover their story how to tell their story and how to transform people individually and collectively by creating an experience when i came into the speaking industry was based upon the the book and grow rich by napoleon hill napoleon hill's book was a good book they consider that the bible of the motivational speaking industry well i come to know because of my mentor mike williams in columbus ohio he wrote the book called the road to your best stuff he said les if information could change people everybody would be skinny rich and happy so he said in order to change people you have to create a significant emotional event that you have to interrupt a person's story that they believe about themselves with your story and through the delivery of your story strategically you dismantle their current belief system and inspire them to make new choices because at the end of a presentation if you don't change how a person see themselves and if you don't expand their vision of themselves beyond their mental conditioning and their circumstances and begin to allow them to get a larger vision of themselves and begin to ignite their spirit you touch their hearts and as a result they leave your presence feeling better about themselves but making new choices because when you change how they see themselves all you have to do after that is to get out of the way the the motivational industry is is based upon a different type of method like tony who i think is is a great speaker tony he trains to get people to go to a firewall okay yeah i'm training people to get into their greatness to begin to develop the courage to pursue dreams beyond their comfort zones because in order to do something you've never done you've got to become someone you've never been when you're pursuing your greatness you don't know what your limits are so you act like you don't have any and one of the reasons that booker t washington said judge a person not by what they accomplished but what they had to overcome for their accomplishment you know so the challenge let me for instance in me having a global voice i remember when tony had an infomercial sponsored by dunphy rinker and they spent millions of dollars and it was a blessing for me that they rejected me because i have the complexion of rejection he had the complexion of he has the complexion of connection and so they said oh we don't believe a black guy can have appeal to the american public i was so furious with that because it's called white privilege you know so so i said i don't have a backer i don't have four color brochures i still don't i don't have millions of dollars backing me to develop a global voice and mike williams he has goal was to to train me to speak to the world so i thought about it now remember something that robert schuller said there's never a shortage of opportunities it's just a shortage of thinking and so when i saw what tony was doing training people to go to the back of the room and sign up for his firewalk or all the other speakers to go back and get their products i said wait a minute impact drives income and referrals i'm going to focus on training and developing a method and technique to transform people's lives individually and collectively as mr washington did for me when he said to me young man go to the board and work this problem out for me and i said i can't do it and he said don't ever say that again someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality he interrupted my vision of myself and as a result my mother said sticks and stones can break your bones so words can never hurt you that's our lies words can hurt you very deeply and so but he interrupted my vision of myself and as a result of his example and the input review repetition and reinforcement of that concept and how he held me in his eyes when he looked at me i was able to die to who i was and depart from the story that i bought into even if you were told a lie faith comes by hearing and hearing and hearing you hear it often enough it becomes your reality perception not challenge becomes real for you and so there was no one to dispute what was said about me and i bought it he interrupted that vision of myself in the 11th grade and as a result of that i begin to become a different kind of person and so it so listening to these various speakers but then because of how i was rejected by gunther renker and those guys i said i don't have millions of dollars but i got a story and what i'm going to do i'm going to figure out how to transform audience i'm going to figure out how to make myself stand out i don't have the money to compete with them i don't have the complexion of connection but one of the things that mike said to me he said brownie pay more attention to the listening than the telling study the audience conduct communications intelligence don't assume that you know what they want to hear he said never let what you want to say get in the way of what the audience needs to hear and so that's what i focused on i always do a needs assessment when i'm training speakers i tell them don't assume you know each audience is a different type of personality each area of industry if you want to go big if you want to speak globally you want to become an expert on the audience you got to learn and you got to study them so that you can have the versatility and flexibility to speak to any type of audience with your story and be able to transform them individually and collectively and that impact will drive your income and your requests the average speaker get around 25 to 30 requests a year i get over 3 000 because of using that principle in and many of the speakers that i've trained now and some of them have passed me using the same technique in strategies and have made millions of dollars how did you change your mindset to do the hard things in the gym and get up when you didn't want to when so many people don't do those things what allowed you or what tools did you use or what practices in order to stay committed because a lot of people they just not committed over a long period of time so how did you have that when other people didn't well to answer that question i have to take you back so now it was about 15 years ago i had this sense that i was stuck in the matrix that my life could be something more but i know how to make it more right and part of that was on a day when i wanted to stay in bed when i was warm i did uh and then time just feels like it's getting away from you and you haven't really identified that the the problem was that you didn't have something specific enough to get you out of bed right you weren't setting goals you didn't have a vision you weren't executing on your dreams you might be dreaming like i was dreaming i've always dreamed uh for me ambition was never the problem i was the most ambitious laziest person you're ever going to meet 15 years ago right and it was realizing wait just because i'm lazy by nature doesn't mean i have to be lazy in actuality like i can actually get the discipline to develop real drive to acquire those skills so when i met the guys that are now my partners they put me into a scenario where there was a very real world um consequence both positive and negative for living up to um the acquisition of skills so and and that environment that uh gladiator pit that i ended up stepping into was the business world and the great thing is when you're no longer an employee and it's your business and everything you have is on the line and if the business fails you lose your house like that that's real yeah it's real to you in a way that it's not to an employee right because now there's a real consequence that goes beyond well i have to look for another job right this goes into i could lose everything if i can't solve this problem now that can scare you away and keep you wanting to be an employee where it's a little bit safer or that can be wildly motivating to you and that was interesting to me so i wanted to be able to say the harder i work the better result i get and they gave me the opportunity to plug into business where that became true if i could solve these problems if i could build a better product if i could market it better whatever that better results came and so there was like now a connection between how hard i work the skills i acquire and the reward i get and that that was all i needed and then for me being in that loop allowed me to do things like the gym sure so when did you discover your new values and what are those values personal and then business and they intertwine yeah yeah for me they're totally connected 100 and that's by choice because for a long time they weren't connected the way that i got the value system was truly looking at what works right and um so i believe that i'm going to give away my answer to something you can ask me later but i believe that the the purpose in life to be great you have to um acquire as many skills as you can that have utility and then put that utility to the test because now you can see did i actually get the skill that i thought i got did i get the result from that skill that i wanted and you can judge both what skills you need to acquire and whether you have effectively required them and business like that is the closest thing to say mma fighting right mma is you want real-time feedback on whether you're learning and getting good at something let someone whose sole intent is to take your head off come in and test whether you can defend a choke or defend an arm bar it's so real and so visceral there's you know you can think of it there's either it's pure metaphor or there's no metaphor right like you were in that moment so finding ways that business can can be like that for me allowed me to create a set of values out of pure efficiency so when for me i the one thing i can't i can't give you ambition i can't make you want something right i can't want it for you but once you want something now you plug into something very real and if you accept so i talk about this 25 bullet points is the quest belief system and that was me trying to give people the thing that they needed to escape the matrix and in that is the belief that you can acquire skills that the human mind and human potential is nearly limitless right so you start putting all this stuff together and it's like okay essentially everything falls on my shoulders if if i want to be great it's all down to me and whether i execute on that or not it's all down to my ability to say this is the thing i want this is the gap and skill set between who i am today and who i need to become in order to acquire that thing that i want like for me i want to end uh metabolic disease globally right so now i i know what set of skills i need right i'm going to have to understand nutrition really well i'm going to have to understand psychology really well in order to build this business i'm going to have to understand just business in general to get the metrics right so that people can afford to buy these products on and on and on so you can identify the skill sets that you need and then you get to test them right because if it's if i have learned the wrong skills or failed to learn a skill that i thought i had the business doesn't grow right so you have this feedback loop and really my value system was born out of that i was so so clear about what i wanted to accomplish that i could just test uh you know the skills that i was getting and and that sort of desire to um accurately assess and acquire skills really is my value system right but i think you started questioning 34 is that right uh when do we start quests start a quest five years ago 39 yes well done you know me better than i do so how long did it take you to i mean get clear on what you wanted did it take 35 years 34 years for you to get clear on what you wanted and what was that process of actually figuring it out that you got clear yeah that's yeah it's so tempting to mythologize everything and to tell you the the concise story which is maybe more useful uh but is a little misleading so the the truth went something like this we're miserable building this company that's a product we don't care about step one what do we love what do we care about and what would we do and love doing even if we were failing and that was a question that we asked ourselves so okay the thing that we would do for three very different reasons is to make this food that people choose based on taste and it happens to be good for them and i've already explained my reasons um and so then as you know we're starting to do the company honestly you're looking at what's working and what's not working and you're relentlessly self-assessing so it was just clear to me that people didn't think the way that we thought so the three of my partners and i ron and mike and myself we think a very certain way right what we call the quest way and because they had developed that over the school of hard knocks and starting businesses and failing they were able to bring me along much later in the process but because i knew nothing about what they had learned up to that point and they weren't teaching me they just drug me into deep waters i had to learn and because the way my mind works i was processing that into basically a list of okay here are the lessons i've learned i was codifying it right turning it into a map for success that i could hand other people and that ultimately became the 25 bullet points out of the quest belief system so as we're going and i realized in my head i've got these what i didn't know at the time was 25 bullet points but anyway i've got this way of thinking and i'm encountering these employees that don't think like that and so accepting that there's a that was really when i started to realize there's a gap between who people are and what they tell you they want to accomplish because in the beginning i hired everyone everyone right not because i'm super smart and thought hey i should there was no one else right like we had the smallest handful of people ever um and so i started doing the interviewing as i was doing it i start realizing god these guys tell me they want to do something amazing with their life and if you just listen like wow yeah like i want to be on your team dude you're going to do amazing stuff and then you realize they can't execute on that dream so why can't they they don't have the mindset yet like there's uh you could do an entire podcast series on how to get the mindset but i'll just use carol dweck and her amazing book mindset as well somewhere i'm sure such a good book i see simon's the neck up there who's also very influential in us uh and she says some people either believe they're smart as they're ever going to be and that's that so they're going to be ego protective and they're going to you know try to thwart anything that makes them feel like they're not the smartest person or whatever and then there's people with a growth mindset and they realize i'm not the smartest person and i'm certainly not as smart as i could be yeah so even if i am the smartest person ever lived i could get a little bit smarter uh and so when they're confronted with contradictory information they learn and they soak it up like a special whereas other people are fixed mindset right correct fixed on like no this is the way and i'm right and that's wrong yes and i would say the world everyone's on a spectrum right even i as much as i believe in it and work my ass off to be a growth mindset i still have let's call it 10 where i catch myself i'm like come on dude you know better than that yeah but so people that fall in let's say sub 50 spectrum of the growth mindset it's got to be 98 [Music] what do you think people need to do in their thought process in the approach and learning about that it's a journey because obviously again you didn't have clients overnight you weren't this big success then that you are now with marietv and b-school and all the things you've been up to it's been a journey it's been like a 10 long twelve seven year journey right to get to where you are now yeah and people want the results now they want to be rich they want to be healthy they want to be you know wealthy in all the sense right now yes how can people start approaching things differently to be to dream big but also be realistic yeah i think that there is a mindset that i adopted thankfully um in my early 20s that really saved my butt and that i think it can really help most people because i'm a driven individual i'm incredibly ambitious and you know most people in our day and age there is that bit of wanting instant gratification but i think that it sets us up to be unhappy and so for me i often wrestled with okay well how do i reconcile the fact that i have big dreams i'm not where i want to be yet yet i don't want to be miserable until i get there because i'm smart enough to know that when i get there my dreams are actually going to get bigger so i'm just setting myself up for a life of misery yeah thank goodness i discovered this whole kind of phyllis philosophy of living in the moment and it was really a set of practices and i learned how to get out of my head and really live in the here and now and not by sitting on some mountain top or owning all day but to really engage in the present moment like this moment is it this is it and i call it uh in the book that i wrote making is-ness your business like whatever is happening in this moment i'm gonna just approach it and attack it like i'm meant to be here this is my party no matter what's going on if i'm bartending and i'm working seven days a week if i'm scrubbing somebody's floor which i did i mean i was a personal assistant i cleaned people's toilets i did whatever i needed to do because i didn't want to be a desperate life coach because i thought that's like the most horrible thing in the world meeting paying clients i said let me make money bartending and cleaning people's toilets or doing whatever i have to do so that when i'm coaching people i can coach them out of my skill set and my desire to make a difference not out of needing their money so this idea of making isness your business trains you to love this moment but you're also super pumped about where you're going yeah so it's not like you lose sight of your dreams it's not like you lose your ambition but you strike this really interesting balance of being fully here and now and fully excited about where you're going and i think that saved me yeah i think it's kind of like being in a dance of like living in the now but also aspiring for the future of what you really want which could be yes in a year or 10 years or whatever it may be right yeah and i just did an interview with a guy named donald schultz who said something that goes like they're only two days a year you can't work and it's yesterday and tomorrow and i thought it was interesting when he said that i was like yeah you've really got to be present obviously you can dream about tomorrow and dream about your vision what you want to create and plan for the future yep but you've got to be present in today's journey yes and appreciate what you do have not what you don't have right absolutely and anywhere you find yourself it is up to you whether or not you're going to be miserable there or you're going to make it awesome you know and i remember so many times going into another bartending shift and of course if i let my mind run wild my mind would say what are you still doing here if you were smarter you would have you know a full business by now when is this ever going to happen and i really trained myself to go whatever i'm here right now how can i make the best drink possible how can i have so much fun with all the people that i'm working with how can i give these people a great experience so that at the end of my shift i'm not exhausted from being miserable for six hours yeah and i can actually go home yeah a little bit tired but not feeling like i'm wrong in my life i'm worthless or i'm not talented enough or i'm not smart enough and it was a really great training period you know people often ask they're like are you really always this happy and i'm like i'm not always happy but i'm a damn happy person most of the time and i have my bad days but i really think so much of success is about your attitude that you bring to the table yeah and you've got to bring it to the table every single day no matter what stage you're at and for me i didn't fully transition into my full-time business i think like most people don't know this like seven years wow so when people tell me like oh i have this day job and i'm so miserable i'm like seven years until you're doing what you've been doing now kind of so you know there was a whole period again this multi-passionate thing of course when i was starting my coaching practice i started to recognize that even just calling myself a coach felt limited and i had this dream of dancing and i love hip-hop never had any formal training in the world i also loved fitness so there's a lot of things that i wanted to get involved with and i realized when i was about 25 i said if i don't do all these things right now i'm gonna regret it i realize that if i take some attention away from coaching sure i won't get there as fast as i would have if i put all my attention there but it's not my truth yeah the truth is i wanna dance hip hop want to go do some cool things out on the road i don't care if i'm not making a ton of money or not this quote-unquote famous person i didn't care at all about that what mattered to me was am i living the life that i want to live i love that i want to talk about uh mastering the things that you don't like doing along the journey like mastering the perfect drink or bartending that shift like just becoming a master because i remember doing some job i'm sure we all had jobs we don't love yeah i used to be a truck driver for about three months until i couldn't do it anymore but i would try to master timing getting to my location and then getting back and as quick as possible and master like the roads and everything was about mastery yeah even in those little things that i didn't like yep why is it so important to try to master the things even though we don't like or not fully passionate about along the way why do you feel like that's important i think it's all about quality of life right you take you wherever you go and if in those moments you're doing a job that you're not really excited about but you have to be there for eight hours you have a choice you're either going to be miserable for eight hours or you're going to engage like a champ right and you're going to show up and be amazing and i got to tell you so many opportunities for me have come from me training myself to show up like a champ wherever i was so for example you know i taught hip-hop at crunch and did i think i was gonna teach hip-hop forever no but i wanted to be the best hip-hop instructor i possibly could be while i was there and because my classes were filled and because uh i taught a good class the higher ups chose me to be uh someone who auditioned for nike you know and gave me this opportunity and i got to be a nike elite trainer and travel to europe and all over the place i went to the first one or i was one of the first four yeah and um you know even when i was bartending in college because i would do such a good job on this one person's cappuccino that's how i got my job on the floor of wall street wow really really because they're like you care so much about what you're doing like what do you want to do after you graduate they knew i was a college student i said you know i'm a finance major i can't see myself in corporate finance i can't see myself at a desk but i don't know what else to do and they're like you know what my brother works on the floor give me a resume so for me this idea of mastery and showing of like just you own it the opportunities that can come when you do that you can't even predict not to mention how you train yourself as a human being in terms of your own happiness and your own fulfillment when you show up with that attitude of i'm going to master this i'm going to bring my a-game you feel better you have more energy the results are going to be better you'll leave your day feeling just incredible rather than miserable yeah that's great gratitude is something that i'm a big proponent of and i know you are as well can you speak about the power of gratitude and how it affects everything in our lives i think it's the most incredible transformational tool that there is because if we're still alive we have something to be grateful for you know all of us have challenging times in our life things go wrong everything hits the fan we all feel like failures we feel frustrated nothing's going our way we should probably give up why are we even here i don't think there's any human being on the planet that doesn't have those days and i have them too where you just wake up and you're like goodness what is going on how did all this happen and for me it's the first thing that i go to to start to turn that around internally and ask myself okay you know what i feel like crap right now i want to cry everything sucks but i'm still breathing i look around i'm like okay roof over my head if i went to the fridge there's food in the fridge and i know because of so much the work that we do that there are millions in fact a billion people that don't have those basic things that can't say they have a safe roof over their head that don't have food in a refrigerator they don't even have running water so for me it's a really great check immediately to say okay great i feel like crap but i got all these things how can i start to turn this around and then i go to one of my other favorites which is everything is figureoutable yeah that i learned on the wall over here we'll get a shot of that i do because it's it's you know when you're in a tough spot what matters is your beliefs and your psychology and what you're going to do in that moment no matter what the circumstances are and for me that gratitude piece is first because it starts to shift everything and then going to everything is figureoutable which is my belief helps me get into problem-solving mode yeah and go okay whatever the situation is what do i need to do what actions do i need to take do i need to pick up a phone do i need to go out and exercise do i need to put on some music do i need to just sit and cry like what do i need to do to move myself ahead in a positive powerful way [Music] what feels better for you craving or curiosity if you're curious about something what feels better yeah in your body if you're even curious about this question curiosity feels better because craving feels like you're a slave to something it's like you're a prisoner to this craving i need it now i'll do whatever i take to fulfill this emptiness that i need to fulfill give me the m m's give me the ice cream i want the pizza now post mates let's go yeah right uber heats doordash i'm in right right and we can we can have food instantaneously almost show up at our door yeah right so we can reinforce those habits curiosity feels better because uh you're exploring a different part of your brain you're you're interested in something different you're like wondering what could something else be like but even that momentary experience you used to with your hand you clenched your hands yes so there's this contracted closed down quality to a craving does curiosity feel contracted or expensive yes what's the possibility yes so which if you just took closed versus open or contracted versus expanded which one feels better expanded yes yeah so right there we can give our brain a very clear bigger better offer expanded so for example when we're caught up in ego and we're waiting for that next compliment does it feel closed or open closed yes how about when you're in flow like when you're just totally killing it in sport or playing music or having a great conversation feel closer open open yes bigger better offer boom okay so you reflect on the bigger better offer feeling expansive feeling healthier happier more fulfilled well it's not even on what could be it's right in that moment we can tap into that super power of curiosity what would the curiosity be what is as opposed to the craving what are you curious about we can get curious about the craving oh what does this craving feel like in my body and we flip the valence from this closed down feeling of craving being caught up in a craving to oh wow this feels like tightness or tension or you know i'm feeling my hand move to my phone to click on you know click on the food eating app or whatever oh wow wow and we can just explore our experience in that moment so we can actually hack craving with curiosity just by bringing it in okay and what if the craving is still there then we can get curious about that how long is this going to last is it changing is it moving in my body we actually have had people on our program saying you know i had actually had a guy walk into my office as i was working at the va hospital and he walked my office and he said doc i feel like my head's going to explode if i don't smoke and you know i was young addiction psychiatrists i was like oh what do i do so i was like well if your head explodes just put the pieces back together and call me i was like he politely laughed you know like bad joke but we actually got up and mapped out what head exploding felt like for him what does it feel like so he described it as like tightness or heat or clenching and things like this and we mapped it out on my i remember mapping this out with this on my whiteboard where we watch that wave go up and then over so typically what somebody does is they'll smoke to make it go away but he realized it goes up and it actually goes away on its own and that was a big ah-ha for him and i feel like i feel like everything comes back to mindfulness and meditation it's like the the to solve anything in life is mindfulness and meditation it's what it all seems like it comes back down to over the last few years i've done so i've done so much research on meditation myself i've been to india and retreats headspace calm had all the meditation teachers on and it feels like it's the solution to so many things is that true well i would say especially for habits we can see how mindfulness helps teach us that awareness piece that can help our brains get that updated and accurate information so there's actually a pretty good scientific basis around mindfulness helping us with habits okay so and those habits can extend beyond eating and anxiety and smoking they can extend to getting caught up in you know in ego as we talked about a little bit yeah thank you they can also extend to being attached to certain views right so if there are political parties where one side says i'm right and the other part side says they're right and they just spend all their time fighting how are we going to do anything so what does fighting feel like closed or open closed how does it feel when people actually collaborate and cross the aisle and say hey i want to understand your point of view i really want to understand it so we can work together open it feels pretty good yeah so we can even see how mindfulness can help with these things where you know people are not having a good relationship or or societies are fighting with each other we can stop notice how unrewarding the fighting is and how rewarding it is just to remember each other's humanity yeah what is the likeliness then of changing a negative habit without the use of mindfulness meditation well the the rescue logner curve suggests that you really have to get that updated information to devalue the old things so there isn't anything else scientifically suggesting that we can change things you know it's not about willpower it's not about magical thinking you know it's about positive thinking and hoping and wishing hoping and wishing doesn't fit into the math the only research says meditation mindfulness awareness however it looks for you that type of awareness is the only solution that's what the math is suggesting so mindfulness helps teach us to be aware and awareness is what helps our brain get get that updated now when we have a bigger better offer yeah well that so the bigger better offer can come in the form of curiosity or connection or kindness which are often tart taught yeah those are often taught as part of of part of mindfulness practices but even feeling physically healthy mentally healthy feels good and so that's going to reinforce those ha those positive habits so eating healthy feels better than eating a bunch of junk food i certainly know this myself so when we can really clearly see that cause and effect relationship it's just much easier to stay on a healthy habit what is what is the root of addiction in your mind you know i like this really simple definition of addiction continued use despite adverse consequences so i would say the root of addiction because you know continue just despite adverse consequences can be anything from self being addicted to social media to a point of view um so the i think the root actually comes in this survival mechanism that's just trying to help us remember where food is but in modern day when food is plentiful you know most of us have a refrigerator and restaurants are open twenty years you can find a restaurant open any time of day um that mechanism that survival mechanisms mechanism is still in place so i think that the root of addiction is actually i know paradoxically there is a survival mechanism yet in modern day we refine you know coca leaves into cocaine we make we make synthetic opioids so that we can pop pills um we we go on instagram to look at keep pictures of puppies when we're bored you know all these different things that are and food is literally engineered to be addictive now so that process that's natural survival process get has gotten hijacked what is the amount of time it takes to break an addiction that's 10 20 30 years old is it possible to break it in a moment a day is it take 30 days to break the habit or start a habit what is the scientific research saying is it the longer you've been doing something the longer it takes to break or you can still break it in 10 days once you hit that rhythm yeah yeah it really depends i'm remembering a guy that came into one of our early studies who was smoking 30 cigarettes a day and we started with the pay attention when you smoke see what you get from it two days later he came back and he'd cut 20 cigarettes and he realized you know i get up and i drink coffee and i don't like the bitter taste of coffee so i smoke a cigarette to cover the taste oh i could just brush my teeth instead so you know so for some people you know really clearly mapping it out and seeing how unrewarding the old behavior is helps them change a lot of the habits pretty quickly okay so and as i mentioned in some of our uh now preliminary research we're seeing with using these mindfulness apps like the e right now app or the craving to quit app that i mentioned uh we're seeing after people are using these um these craving tools about you know 10 to 15 times that significantly changes the value of that reward right 10 to 15 times or is that 15 days it really so depends on what the behavior is so somebody could have their their ice cream craving and so they can't just like eat ice cream 15 times in one day and do the thing and have it i mean they probably feel pretty sick but it really has to come as part of their natural experience so so when you have the when the craving comes up and you're about to do the addiction you open up the app there's a a guided meditation there's uh some steps the apps actually start with helping people map out their habit loops and so this is some of my uh you know well i learned the most when i fall on my face yeah we all do so yeah yeah so when i was first starting this research i had this hypothesis that it would be you know these formal meditation practices that would help people change their behavior you know i've been meditating for a while i'd gone on long retreats and you know would sit and meditate for a long time i was like this is it it was great for me but it turns out when we looked at our data that these informal practices in the moment practices where people were paying attention as they were smoking or paying attention as they were eating where that's what was really helping to change the behavior itself in the moment not before the moment when you wake up in the morning at night in the moment right so the formal meditation practices can certainly be helpful but we actually start by helping people map these things out because i didn't know you know when i first started learning to meditate it was like pay attention to your breath and when your mind wanders bring it back it's like okay this makes sense but when i went you know i went on my first meditation seven day silent meditation retreat by like day three i was crying uncontrollably on the shoulder of the retreat manager because i couldn't pay i was like i made it through college i made it into medical school and now i can't talk to her i can't pay attention so i thought i was a failure and it turns out it's not about forcing ourselves to pay attention right that grit that will power doesn't it certainly didn't work for me it's really about understanding our minds [Music] i'm turning 50. the average american lives to be 78 years old here we've got all the research here we go if i'm average i got 28 years left if i'm average i hope i'm not right but you're vegan you work out yeah but if you reverse engineer that if you reverse engineer those the next 30 years like i just climb out washington there was no 60 or 7 year old guys on top of mount washington the relevant years you have to do things that you want to do like it's it's limited you know so my enemy is the clock and i realized man i just got to live with so much urgency and to put as much stuff of the things that i love to do with the people that i love to do them with on my plate and that's like as soon as i got home i'm like i'm a limit i'm saying no to everything unless it moves the buckets in my family life wellness finances or cause related like otherwise i'm of course i'm gonna have some stuff on my but the majority of my plate i want to fill it up with that stuff 80 90 needs to be filled up with that yeah is what you're saying yeah and if i took you know if i looked and i've been very lucky to live my life a lot like that but you know certainly the next 30 years 50 to 80 like that i mean man it's spooky i feel 32 but there's a reality on it's i look at it every day when i pull my driver's license out to get on the plane or i look at my like i'm turning 50 man so i mean those you know it's like i start to reverse engineer how i want to live those those those days and um and i talk about it in the book i got this lesson early on in life but i didn't i appreciated it but i appreciate it a lot more when i first started out in in uh in the music business i was writing theme songs for professional sports teams we spoke about this and but i had no money i had like 100 in my bank account and i needed money to write demos to create these demos to present them because everything was on spec do you like it buy it not like it wasn't like hey i want to write you this theme song where you give me 10 grand so i can go in the studio you're gonna make it get amazing deliver the product yeah and then if they liked it they would buy it but i had no money to make it so i went to this music manager and he said i'll lend you the ten thousand dollars you need to make four or five of these demos but i want 10 percent for that i want 10 of you forever like forever forever like i'm investing in you i'm giving you the 10 grand i don't know where this is going to go and i was like i'll do it i'm 21 years old 10 percent of me like 10 000 i there wasn't nothing without this money yeah but before i finalized the deal i went and talked to my friend's father who was a big business mogul and i went into his apartment he had this mack daddy apartment in i mean mogul in the true sense of the word mogul owned guest owned parking garages all over new york on the piece of the yankees a piece of the new jersey nets at the time true mogul um and philanthropist i go to his apartment i'm 21 years old he has all this fancy artwork up he has his own swimming pool and i mean it's just mind-blowing the wealth and i start to tell him the story and he stops me and he says jesse i will trade every single thing i have for the one thing that you have and i'm like me i'm sorry i have 128 yes youth yeah youth and the process the journey of going through the unknown the struggle the uncertainty and everything the wins the losses just the whole thing he would give up everything to go back to that to go back to that and wow i really like i've been really aware of that like that here i am 30 years later still talking about that wow and um but now more so now i don't want to get to be 70 and 80 and have that thought in my head like i want to live my life with that kind of urgency and fill up my plate so i don't have that regret that like because when you're in a routine time goes really fast and then you wake up and you're 70 and you're like i can't climb the mountain i'm 70. when you get out of the out of your routine like at the monastery and you look at the thing and it's three minutes and 27 seconds time slows down i want to stop the clock man i got four kids so my relationship with time in general was reestablished at the monastery really definitely by eliminating the things that no longer support or serve your vision for your life and focusing on things that do and not waiting so waiting for what so like i climbed mount washington i didn't i didn't get to the summit with five friends and i came back and mount washington is a really dangerous mountain in the winter i think it's one of the 10 most dangerous mountains because of the climate it's cold like minus 30 and the winds get up to 50 to 75 miles an hour and no visibility blah blah so i didn't get because of that i didn't get to the top of this journey i did with five of my close friends i came back and i'm talking to my wife about it and because i posted it on facebook i was getting bombarded with you didn't make it you could six miles to you couldn't get and i said to sarah i failed and you know i felt terrible i let my friends down we put it out there and she said no no sweetie first of all you numbskull get a tour guide right here get proper equipment and train for it and go back next year next winter and knock it out and i was like next winter i'm going back on saturday wow that's the urgency because there's no guarantee what next winter is going to do you know like we could talk about all of our vision my thing would be like we'll do it now you're gonna you have a five year plan that takes too long man yeah it does it takes too long yeah so that's what i mean about my relationship with time it's like yes i eliminated a lot of the things that were no's but i also created a tremendous amount of urgency i started to look at at my enemy my greatest enemy other than keeping my health i mean we all want to is is the clock yeah if you could go back 15 to 20 years my age or five years earlier when you're 30 35 what would you eliminate and what would you add into your life um i you know i i would i would i would act like i'm not going to live until 80. i would just i wouldn't put off the trip to hawaii i mean you're doing it you're going to live with monks you're traveling to hawaii you have a business i mean you have good balance i mean you've kind of cracked you have a short commute to work you've kind of cracked a lot of the things that many struggle with sitting in traffic in their commute bad relationships you know struggling with health issues and finances you've been able to eliminate a lot of that at a really early age um but i would just say you know my my suggestion would be to put just to put it in an analogy again i met a good friend of mine has this rule i call it the kevin rule every five every year i asked him how he lives his life because he's one of the happiest guys that i know and he's a police officer he told me that every year he takes a trip with his college friends he's been doing it since he's 21 years old one time a year and then every other month one weekend he goes away and puts something on his calendar he circles he's going to run a marathon he's going to go to the beach whatever i call it the kevin rule and i said to myself and this is what i would say to my 35 year old self especially at 35 and i'll show you why if i can't take a weekend every other month to put something on the calendar for myself if i can't do that my life is really out of balance because if i do live to 80 and i did and i put five of those on on the calendar a year right that would be 150 memories that i'm creating and moments that i'm creating if you do it at 35 years old then you have another 75 memories you have over 200 memories that you're creating but if you don't do it think of the loss no seriously i'm dead serious think of the lost because so that's how i look at it man i would like you know take advantage of the opportunity that you have at this age and the people that you know to create amazing to build your life resume and sort of talk about all the time you know it's like you have the work resume so what that means nothing if you're not building up your life resume yeah and those moments are the things there's only two kinds of moments man like the moments that happen not the preach but like the o.j simpson you remember during where oj was when during the chase or 9 11 you know exactly where you would never forget that but you didn't control that just happen there are moments like that where you have no control over that you just remember because they're so vivid and then you have the moments that you have control over like the kevin rule that you you know that you circle that you create that you put in your position to happen and that's you know kind of how you build this life resume and that's what i would tell that's what i hope my kids do you know i hope they have a life filled with memories [Music] so the five second rule well first off when did you discover the five second rule okay so 2009 that's when you first tried it or discovered it or oh it's a total horror show mistake okay yes okay so 2009 um i was unemployed and feeling like are you unemployed how well okay too much charisma too much passion uh yeah because everything's working right now i'm not like this when things are not working ask my husband of 22 years um uh well the what had happened is um i i had had all these career changes and i got into the media business again by mistake i had a coaching business and um inc magazine was writing an article about coaches and they featured me in it and cnbc called and that led to me doing some stuff with cnbc and um i spent a year still coaching people and then doing some stuff for cnbc and then fox called and they were interested in having me host a television show now you got to understand i'm from north muskegon michigan mm-hmm i mean the media business the closest thing i had ever seen to a celebrity lewis was the muskegon lumberjacks the farm team right right from our for the pittsburgh penguins yeah yeah my dad was the hometown doc for the hockey team there right right right so i thought the mayor was a celebrity wow my life's about to change i'm about to be a celebrity wow we're gonna solve all this is amazing you know so um i was originally going to be hosting a show for fox where we were making over small businesses nice yeah pretty cool right we show up we like do extreme home makeover for the office everybody's happy we all know that doesn't solve business problems but it makes for a nice television show by the time i get to la they've changed the format it's now called someone's gotta go and i'm gonna be firing people on national television from real jobs wow uh-huh that sounds fun horrible my god plus we haven't told the offices that this is what we're doing oh my gosh so you show up in act one and you've got everybody all like this because they're gonna think they're gonna get new ikea furniture and a paint job and this is gonna be the best thing in the world for their small business now meanwhile i'm a fourth generation small business owner so that's like my people grew up at a kitchen table with farmers and you know my mom had a retail store and my other grandparents were bakers and so when it comes to like the heart and soul and what's so important when you launch your own business and how personal it is i mean this was like gut wrenching so i show up the first act you kick out the the owner of the company who then freaks out then all the employees freak out act number two we announce that somebody's getting fired and then that's that's the the bad news the good news is that i'm not picking we're going to have you vote somebody out so it's survivor in an office place oh my goodness so that's awesome when when i learn all this i i have a panic attack even though i'm on zoloft and i call the guy that got me the gig and say you got to get me out of this like this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me and he said um well i'm sorry but they've already cast the entire show and you're out there for five weeks and you don't have a choice they're gonna sue you and i said then fine get me some xanax because i don't think i can get through this thing like this is awful luckily um we taped two episodes and um legal tabled it but here was the problem i was attached to the show and i only got paid if the show was shooting mm-hmm and being an entrepreneur i also kind of yes put all my energy into this shut down the coaching thing um uh really thought that it also kind of negotiated a deal that was a sort of a back end deal thinking i'm a you know entrepreneur always thinking about gotta have a piece of the action yes yeah that was a dumb move um and i was in a contract for a year while they figured out what to do um so you couldn't do another show yeah so you know i just felt like i had made a huge mistake and i felt really embarrassed and i didn't know at the age of 41 what i should be doing with my life and while it's neat that i had jumped careers so many times i started to feel like somebody that actually wasn't successful at all because i didn't have a career track i had a bunch of jumps from one thing to another now looking back it makes perfect sense but standing in the middle of the mess it just felt like everything was caving in probably just like when you were sleeping on your couch feeling injured and like everything i thought that was about to happen isn't happening now meanwhile my husband had opened up a restaurant business it had been his dream he worked in high tech and came home one day after getting laid off and said i i'm never gonna get on a plane and do a powerpoint presentation for a company i don't care about her own and i said great what's your plan and he said i'm gonna open a pizza restaurant and i looked at him and i said was there a trust fund that was part of this marriage that i was unaware of because i'm not quite sure how to get the money if someone died you got an insurance policy yes and he said no and um uh i then said the most famous lines of our 22 merit 22 year marriage louis i looked at him and i said listen buddy inspiration is for strangers you get your ass back to that job and you pay the mortgage and you forget the stream you're not going well because change is scary yeah so we fought and he won and the first one was a real home run and he opened a pizza store oh he did yeah 40 40 seats right outside of boston massachusetts he and his best friend and they won best of boston it was incredible what do you do when everything's money though they did on the first one so what do you do when everything's working let's go all chips in let's put in the home equity line let's put in the kids college savings let's get friends and family and because you're so excited you you think it's going to work so you go big big big well the second one did not work at all and it did not work at all so badly that when it was finally closed it was close to an 800 000 loss and it meant our entire home equity line kids college savings everything went right down with it that was right when i lost the fox show so i'm unemployed the liens start hitting the house um the phone starts ringing all the time and it's collections calls mm-hmm so you unplug that well you just unplug the phone i mean that's how you deal with that but i i i i remember like there were i remember two things from that period of my life that were really painful and one was having to call the town and tell them that we could not afford the 175 bucks for our sixth grader to play soccer so we needed to pull her out and i remember there being times because i was so afraid to look at the checking account that i would stand at the grocery store and items would scan and i could just feel that wave of anxiety rising thinking i don't i don't think the check card's going to go through and so i would stand there i always had an excuse and it was to look at the person and go oh that's strange it just worked at the gas station oh my gosh because i what would have been more empowering is to probably say oh well i guess i don't have the money for this let's take this this and this and just kind of like the easiest thing to do is to tell the truth but i was so filled with shame yeah so i started to develop this habit of hitting the snooze button because what would happen is the alarm would go off in the morning and the first thing i would think about is all the problems that we had and how awfully things had gone off the tracks you didn't want to deal with them no and i also didn't know i didn't know i didn't think i could and this goes back to the feelings like you you think that you need to feel confident or courageous in order to get started you don't you actually just have to start and that's the riddle of life that lying in bed hoping that you wake up some morning motivated to change that's not the answer you actually have to learn how to push yourself you have to learn how to how to leverage the power of your decisions and you've got to learn how to take action when you don't feel like it because every morning when i woke up i did not feel confident i felt like a loser i felt like the world's worst parent i felt like i had failed at every single turn i did not know if chris and i could pull out of the spiral i did not know if we were going to go bankrupt and lose the house and move from our community i did not know if our marriage would survive i knew i wanted it to and see this is the knowledge action gap you can know what you want you can know what you should be doing but how do you make yourself do it when the feelings and the motivation isn't there when all you got is fear and so every night i would i would lie in bed and i would say to myself all right that's it mel tomorrow it's the new you tomorrow you're gonna wake up and be motivated you're gonna you're gonna get up you're gonna exercise like everybody says you should you're gonna meditate you're gonna get those kids on the bus you're gonna screw fox you're going to look for a job you're going to cold call cox media and you're going to you're going to do auditions come on girl let's go let's go let's go you're going to take a cold shower you know here we go and i meant it when i was saying it maybe it was the alcohol that was talking but but then i would wake up and i didn't feel any of those things so i would hit the snooze and i would hit the snooze now why was i hitting the snooze when i knew it wasn't the right decision i'm going to tell you why and this is something that i was blown away by when i discovered it you don't make decisions with your goals you don't make decisions with your prefrontal cortex you don't make decisions with logic do you know how we make decisions i didn't invent this a neuroscientist by the name of demacio who does his research in brazil who gave an incredible ted talk and wrote about this forever and ever and ever we make decisions with feelings 95 percent of our decisions are made by how you feel in the moment and that is the problem you need to take control of the moment and leverage the power of your decisions and make them up here because when i was lying in bed i wasn't saying to myself i should get up because that's going to help me start my day right i was saying do i feel like getting up no you don't no do you feel like making that cold call no you don't do you feel like doing that third set of reps no you don't do you feel like having that hard conversation no you don't do you feel like ending this relationship whether it's in business or in your life that is sucking you dry no you don't we make decisions based on our feelings and that is robbing you of joy and opportunity and it is blinding you from the fact that all how you change your life is one five second decision at a time one push at a time and if you if you accept the fact that you may never feel ready and you may never feel motivated and you may never feel confident you may never feel courageous and that's okay but you can still push yourself forward what happens over time is as you start to see yourself becoming the person that takes action that you start to see yourself becoming the kind of person that speaks even though your voice is shaking you're the kind of person that that that has a bias toward moving instead of a bias toward thinking guess what happens you build the skill of confidence and courage and so what happened for me is i was stuck louis i mean i was so stuck i was on i mean we were heading straight for divorce we were heading for bankruptcy i knew i wanted to change things and so one night i see this commercial this is the stupidest story on the planet but this is what happened i see this commercial and you know again i i also was drinking too much i mean i probably had a couple manhattans in me that's my drink i'm from the midwest just like you yeah all right little manhattan bourbon um and uh there was a rocket ship launching on a commercial yeah and i had this instinct this innovation this disruptive idea right oh my god mel that's the answer tomorrow morning you're going to launch your ass out of bed like a rocket ship you're going to move so fast you can't even think about your problems dumb right mm-hmm totally dumb seems like this is the toughest idea i've ever heard i cannot believe i have this chick in my pocket i understand i understand it you gotta get moving first yes that's the thing you just gotta wake up at six a.m or whatever it is and go into the gym and when you're in the gym you're going to start moving the first weight yes and then you'll start because actually people people use the five-second rule at the gym because you know how much time people waste at the gym standing around thinking about the next thing probably 70 of the time five four three two one so so the next morning the alarm goes off and nothing had changed in my life i woke up to the lean on the house the fighting with chris the unemployment the lack of confidence the lack of courage that like the whole thing but i did something i had never done before i went five four three two one just like nasa i actually counted and then i stood up and i was like [Laughter] what the hell just happened uh-huh wha what that is the dumbest thing i've ever heard the next morning i used it again at work the next morning i used it again it worked and then i started to notice something and this is this is one of those things so we have a we have an 11 year old son who has dyslexia and when they finally diagnosed him it was as if of course it was as if like how could we have possibly missed this are we the worst parents in the world i mean the kid can barely write he can't cut his food he doesn't like no wonder he doesn't do team sports it was right under our nose and what i'm about to tell you is right under everybody's nose there's a five second window between the instincts the shoulds the urges the inner wisdom the things that can change your life if you listen to it got a five second window from the moment you feel that instinct to move and if you don't your brain is actually designed to kill it five seconds is all you have the second you hesitate it's actually and you feel yourself hesitating that is a moment of huge power because what's happened is you've just started to pull back from something that you need to lean into and if you count backwards five four three two one and this is the neuroscience behind why this stupid little trick works counting is an action counting backwards requires focus it's also not a habit for you yet so when you feel yourself hesitate you're you're triggering your mind that something's up like lewis didn't hesitate when he pulled on his pants he didn't hesitate when he's drinking his coffee he didn't hesitate when he walked out the door to the gym but now he's hesitating to make that call your mind now goes into a cognitive bias called the spotlight effect it magnifies whatever it was that you hesitated doing the moment the moment yeah like all of a sudden you're like hey i don't feel like it like i don't i don't know maybe i'll do it later and your mind is doing it because your mind's trying to protect you hesitation signals a red flag to your mind that something's up just that small hesitation it's a habit that we all have should you hesitate if you're getting a tattoo yes should you hesitate if you're gambling yes should you hesitate if you are signing a legal document yes you need your prefrontal cortex for those things you need to interrupt it make a power make a decision should you hesitate on making a phone call no should you hesitate on speaking up in a meeting no should you hesitate when you feel yourself starting to procrastinate and you know you got work that you should get done no you shouldn't hesitate at all should you hesitate in saying the thing that you really feel in your heart no you shouldn't should you hesitate and edit yourself when you're talking no you shouldn't but we've all trained ourselves too so it's actually this habit of hesitating you start catching yourself it's a huge moment of power because you have a decision to make and you got to make it in the next five seconds are you going to go on autopilot and get trapped in your mind or are you going to five four three two one and awaken your prefrontal cortex and drive forward so um i started to use this rule as i noticed that every day all day long i had these moments of inner wisdom where i would know that i needed to pick up the phone and stop isolating myself i would know that i needed to call a bunch of media companies and start auditioning for radio show hosting gigs i knew that i should get on get out of bed on time i knew i should stop myself before i snapped at chris right self-monitor yeah i knew i should not feel let the frustration be the things that was driving me and so i started to use the rule all day long whenever i felt this i should do this 54321 and i would make myself do it and slowly five seconds at a time my entire life start started to change and my husband used it in his business and he and his business partner dove in they went on to open seven more restaurants um i went on to launch and sell two businesses and get recruited by cnn and join their team i had a syndicated radio show that that um ended up winning the gracie award which is kind of the female media you know awards for the number one talk show in the country um and you know i never intended to tell anybody about the five-second rule first of all because it's stupid right i mean come on count backwards that's the dumbest that's stupid to me though anything that works works for me that's true i mean i'll take any stupid thing that's true and so i but i also was like how do you start talking about something like that right yeah so um i was asked to give a ted talk like six years ago and ted six years ago not the brand that it was today they weren't even putting the talks online yet really yeah the tedx talks are not online yet and so that was the first speech i'd ever given in my life if you want to see what somebody looks like having a panic attack for 21 minutes straight watch that speech i was backstage and it was like one phd after another going out there i'm like scientists yeah what have i gotten myself into this is that's not my thing um and so at the very end i wasn't even planning on talking about it i say oh by the way there's this thing i do that's it i don't even explain it and you know why i didn't explain it lewis i didn't know why it worked hmm studied on the science the research zero zero and then something crazy happened they put that talk online a year later and people started to write we've heard from more than a hundred thousand people in 90 countries that have written to us that i are using the rule in ways big and small to change their lives to change their marriages to change their thinking patterns to grow their businesses um we know of 11 people that have stopped themselves from killing themselves wow um in the moment there's a gentleman that we talk about in the book and you can see his social media posts in london he was a he was a veteran and he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and he boarded a ferry with the intention of jumping overboard and he got to the railing and he was standing there and his inner wisdom kicked in and this is another thing i want everybody watching to understand i don't care what you're facing or how low you get your inner wisdom is always there it is and the thing is is that we often don't listen to it and so he's standing there intending to kill himself and that inner wisdom kicks in and he remembers the five-second rule and he goes five four three two one and he turns and physically moves away from the railing and finds the first person working on the ferry and tells him that he's suicidal saved his life wow he saved his life because he listened to the inner wisdom and this is the other thing i love about this rule it's not something to think about it's a tool to use so the part of the problem with a lot of the advice that i've found for me personally is that a lot of advice is all about kind of doing mental battle and if i go upstairs i'm behind enemy lines and i tend to get hijacked so i love this tool because 54321 interrupts those patterns it actually prompts the part of the brain that i need in order to change and it makes changing easier because i've now got my mind working for me instead of against me and it gets me out of my head and so um i'm i'm super excited to share this rule with people because i now know not only that it's working just not not for me it's working for people around the world and you know in the book it took me three years to write it it's all the science behind the rule it's got more than 150 social media posts in it so you see stories from around the world of people using it to end procrastination to build confidence to deepen their relationships to launch businesses to explode the sales why does it help with sales i'll tell you why because you can't sell by thinking selling is about action we have we have um um groups from companies around the world sales teams that put 54321 up on the wall i'm sure they hate me that's cool yes because what cold calling it's a momentum thing if you stop and think the phone is not getting the dialing is not happening when you're thinking yeah if you're thinking about all this no's you've been getting yes you're not going to want to do it again it doesn't feel good yes and if you're in the middle of a negotiation or you're in the middle of a really difficult conversation and again remember what we said earlier you cannot control your feelings that rise up but you can always control how you think and what you do so if you're in the middle of a difficult conversation and you feel those feelings come up that normally trigger you to start editing yourself or to censor yourself or to silence yourself or to think sabotaging thoughts in like a business four three negotiation one awaken the prefrontal cortex get back in the game um how has this rule helped you the most in what area of your life with your your marriage your business and being more productive and not having to you know take drugs when you're worried so much what's what's or on stage what's the area where you're like wow this has really had the biggest impact and i'm sure all of it but well the most important thing in my life is my marriage so my relationship with chris is like the thing that brings me the greatest joy i mean i'll just start crying thinking about it and um how many years have been married 20 20 years we've been together for 22 years three kids 17 16 11. um it has given me mastery over myself like i get so choked up just thinking about this like i used to feel out of control and this rule allows me to be the best version of me and to interrupt like all the garbage that can trigger you to behave in a way that's inconsistent with your values and your dreams and so that has been the single greatest gift that's great that and also you know i think the other thing that's super cool is that it is a tool that certainly prompts you to act but it is also a tool that helps you tune in to your inner wisdom like you're not only going to start waking up you'll be so in tune with those signals that come from your instincts not emotional not instinctual like instinctual that um that you you get a direct line to your inner voice you get a direct line you know you all these people one of the things that's always that's always um struck me so if you if you list all the people that you admire right yeah richard branson oprah winfrey bill gates like everybody's got kind of the same yeah well whatever uh louis for sure um if you list all those people jay-z be like everybody yeah everybody that you admire is doing the exact same thing they actually listen to their inner wisdom they have figured out how to tune out the critic up here and trust the instincts and you know i have this saying about confidence that i've only recently kind of stumbled into as i've been digging into more research around the science of confidence and the skill of confidence because a lot of people think that confidence is a personality trait it's not it's actually a skill that you build through action and a lot of people think confidence is a state of belief it can be but that's not where it begins and so i say that confidence is the willingness to try that's all that it is knowing that you may succeed or survive but you'll still try and to me all those people that we admire most that's what they're doing they have the ability to tune into those instincts that are true for them because the fact is there's only one you that's it and you matter because there's only one you and there's only ever gonna be one you and your instincts and your experiences and your inner wisdom is a gift to the world and every time that you tune it out because of the habit of hesitating or the habit of self-doubt or the habit of worrying or the habit of overthinking you are robbing the world of that gift that you have to to give to everybody and you can use this simple stupid silly tool to train yourself to not only hear it but also to develop the skill of courage to act on it powerful and is there any area of your life where you feel like you lack courage still um you know i'll admit it's kind of easy i think we all kind of go through those those moments where you feel like you're behind and i think social media is both an incredible tool and it can also be um one of those triggers that makes you feel like look at how many followers this guy has and like this guy right here like it's easy to use technology and social media not for inspiration but actually as a way to bash yourself that you're not doing what other people are doing or whatever yes and so i think that i i use the rule a lot for patients i notice that my insecurity rises up because right now you know look i i did a ridiculous number of speeches last year i travel way too much i don't want my life to look like that um it's a champagne problem i get it yeah but but i also have three kids in a marriage that i love and i really feel depleted when i'm not with them and so i'm practicing patience as i make an intentional pivot in the kind of business that i'm running so that i have more of a life that i want as well i want to learn how to make more money and master money in your life then check out this video right you can't just sit there and look at relationships that you never know the potential of a contact you have to know every contact could take you to some place that you don't know it's like a movie you don't know the next scene you know so you can't just assume what that context is going to lead into yeah

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 788,750

Rating: 4.8310351 out of 5

Keywords: Lewis howes, lewis howes interview, school of greatness, self help, self improvement, self development, personal development, motivation, inspiration, inspirational video, motivational video, success habits, success advice, wealth, success motivation, 15 things poor people do that the rich don't, millionaire habits, how to become successful, how to make money, how to get rich, how to become a millionaire, millionaire mindset, success mindset, cash flow, cash, money, rich

Id: iNf4Lqb-yP8

Length: 180min 54sec (10854 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 02 2020