The Worst Take on Star Wars

Veronica I have the high ground you wonder why would Star Wars is as complicated it isn't everybody's made people love this I hate that or love this hate that or hate part of this but part of that no lecture on the evils of consumerism because you already know that yeah you know what I'm gonna say when I say this is made for cloistered toys it's all toys so instead I figured this franchise is big enough I can just talk about the actual media and I have to recap every little [ __ ] detail this is Star Wars a film developed outside the corporate machine one with the troubled production where any moment it could all fall apart through the magic of post-production this shitshow came together for directing the facing the music you cut any of it out and it'd be terrible it is one of the true wonders of this universe that this worked as well as it did regardless it's spectacular its engaging and most of all it's just hilarious the basic plot has the complexity of a two-part episode of bail stone this is good guy he learns about responsibilities defeats bad guy with the help of the friends he made along the way that's the movie that's that's the Star Wars it's a live action cartoon it doesn't waste too much time with the illusion of emotional weights because you know it's really hard to take anything in this film that seriously the sets are precedent though sometimes made out of paper mache now one of the greatest assets this film has is its character design you know I'm not talking about these guys or even Vader I mean they're fine I guess but mostly the stuff I care about is this that's ass crumble this is a plumby this guy looks how I feel inside this to our assortment of images gives me pure whimsy the space wizard spins but the bear man plays a board game the robot goes beep and then you have these antagonist you know wait no let's not call them that they don't deserve this name it's too pretentious for the film these are plain and simple bad guys they have no depth no purpose they are just bad this whole movie is cheesy hokey fun do I enjoy it for the same reasons most people do I don't know probably not but nonetheless this this is great this is just amazing now I prefer to view this movie in a vacuum and try and forget what comes after the story and what came before forget about the merchandize in the box-office just think there's a single film when you don't weigh it down with the pretense of context it's a fun space adventure with decent special effects and this thing but if something works and no boy did this work you're gonna get another Star Wars - Empire Strikes Back rather than continue at the same tone as the original this film would be a more grisly tale one of love love hates fear in lust now I do give it credit for being different it's not just the easy outs more of the same route that most people expected it expanded our characters motivations in the world around them and gave us first and turns along the way but you know I don't like I don't like this movie I don't enjoy it let's say it's bad it's it's a confident film surpasses the original of technical achievement the effects look better the fancy-pants directing the better dialogue and our actors they're acting better but at the same time this film loses most of that winsy from the original the characters were generic archetypes sure and now they get to me a little bit more fleshed out and whatnot but I can't help but feel like they didn't need to be none of this needed to be because I don't care about Star Wars when it takes itself too seriously I just don't use weird and stuff like adding in the dark side of the forest that's pointless I mean it just creates a further black and white morality compass that doesn't make engaging characters okay take this in the original Darth Vader is just a former Jedi who uses his powers for evil he's not on the spectrum of light and dark Oh one dies and becomes a voice in the Sun it's cheesy but so is the rest of the movie who cares oh yeah now we got ghosts why aren't the other Jedi obi-wan talked about in the first film ghosts why isn't there just an army of ghosts helping out the Hubble you know maybe that's a bad example but if you want to make a dramatic film these issues start to actually matter in the original plot holes art is easy to ignore is saying it's a fun romp through the galaxy don't give a [ __ ] but when the film is trying to engage you in the stakes and the story it does matter this is why the Star Wars Canon and fans retro actively changed stuff to fix continuity errors because well it actually matters now and that's why my favorite scene in this whole movie the only one I really like is Dagobah Yoda B and Yoda he's just perfect whimsy returned to its rightful place look at him what a hero also space warm I like the space work surely much of the initial appeal of this film was the surprise oh yeah I don't think this movie needed to exist huge films get sequels it's inevitable but this film might have done more damage to the Star Wars brand than it did good and now get to that later Jedi is how do I describe it it's so [ __ ] weird it's got a completely different tone compared to Empire and I love it for that Jabba's palace alone gives us this in this in this the rancor is adorable this guy's reaction to dead rancor is the saddest thing and all of Star Wars the gonk droid gets more screen time than in any other movie Luke walks in like an edgy teenager in fights Ganon and of course he got that scene that turned every boy into a man sexy grita and Boba Fett everybody's favorite warrior who's in Empire for like five minutes he died it's like a little punk [ __ ] it falls into a giant bird hole if you know actually I think the George Lucas special edition changes actually work in this film they elevated because it's already so far off the deep end so [ __ ] insane that I have to embrace the chaos just let it all burn down and this is all in like the first 20 minutes of the movie but our joyous celebration of puppets is soon interrupted by a sad celebration of puppets that's right Yoda dies yeah it's it's pretty rough seeing him go but it's also really dumb because within the time frame of Empire and Jedi which is what may be a couple weeks and he's like 900 so he went from a happy [ __ ] frogman to dead you know what why not something else happens probably I don't really remember but then the fancy ass speeder chase the scene is gold not from an action standpoint because it looks like this but and then these I used to hate them quite a bit actually I mean they're just tiny Chewbacca's they took the word looky and just flipped it around the South boys is easy stuff but now in my broken steaks with the rest of the film in context I can't help but [ __ ] love them I mean when we meet them they capture our heroes they worship c-3po as a god and they prepare to eat everybody and c-3po is completely willing to let this happen because he's just done with this [ __ ] then he flies around and everyone's happy and this thing is a couple songs the Empire finds them and shenanigans ensue they this fight that Luke gives himself up he talks to Vader a [ __ ] and he finally needs some the Emperor this [ __ ] glorious beacon of light everything he says is poetry none that you ought to destroy the Empire yeah that's it that's how it happens everything all this it's all pointless because Ewoks just win by throwing some rocks that's it in between all this and the happy fun times the forest creatures you get this scene is this supposed to show us the stakes are high again I can't I just like gets angry and he goes boom boom and he just keeps hitting him then the Emperor gets sick of his [ __ ] and shoots lightning out of his fingers and he just starts monologuing and he heats giving Luke a good chakra to tyrannous invader you see the contemplation in his eyes the struggle of good and evil and then Vader's he just he picks up the Emperor throws in with some construction hazard and Vader dies and Luke cries and the Ewoks burn his body Kerwin dances there's the ghost of the uh Nana cats you know what that Death Star's let's [ __ ] star well at least it was for a while and that after years of just stated fandom of anticipation many grew fanatic over their childhood loves these films weren't just good they were the best in the best of the best you know I think people saw this as a kid and thought yeah that's really cool why isn't Jedi that cool it's just silly silly fun fun and I want shooty shooty gun gun people wanted Star Wars to be edgy be about life and death a serious conflict for serious boys estelle juh it's it's nostalgic guys even in the original trilogy two of the three films are just weird-ass fun adventures and people gravitated towards Empire because when you're a kid big action boom boom equals cool so when I look at all three of these films I think we're - [ __ ] is probably a better representation of the series at this point the Star Wars prequels were announced and then the movies came out you know I suppose if this was truly the worst possible take on Star Wars I would say these were good films I can't bring myself to say I don't think anyone really can because they're not good films well I will give them this for all the stupid [ __ ] dialog if you haven't seen Plunkett's reviews just go see that I can't add anything in a critique that they haven't done but I would say this Jar Jar is how do I put this he's actually probably the best part of the film because everything he says everything he does crosses that line of human decency to a point where I can't help but respect him I killed them I killed them all they're dead every single one of them and not just the men but the women and the children too and I slaughtered them like animals I hate them then we got another long break lots of expanded media very much with the tone of taking itself too seriously Jam done you know the rest George Lucas gives it the Disney and Kathleen Kennedy and Ford's and yeah I probably just walked into a minefield here films are contentious to say the least but uh I'll try my best to navigate it with some integrity force awaken is [ __ ] a garbage it's a terrible film who cares it's a nostalgia pandering trash [ __ ] who cares [ __ ] you JJ Abrams he's a [ __ ] the way JJ Abrams write stuff is by creating questions of letting future writers answer them it means he picks the easiest way to write a story as in not doing it so all the questions asked in this movie are pointless everything else is nostalgia who [ __ ] cares don't some spin-offs happened I kind of forgot about these to be honest but I saw one that came out so [ __ ] I think Roy was bad and they put in a cool battle at the end see you don't forget about how bad it was soul was [ __ ] I don't know I can't remember it at all let's just give it a solid 6 out of 10 wanna sexy burrito during all this we got the most divisive film in history that's right it is you know what you like it you know why you really want to know why so just as [ __ ] you to everything the Empire stood for has got some funny creatures and the casino Cena's I mean the plot I think it makes sense it's twisty and Snoke was a nobody created by JJ cuz he's a lazy [ __ ] hack and this movie says no he's dead Luke doesn't give a [ __ ] he's [ __ ] amazing I can't tell you how many times I yanked one out to this image the pores are this is why I like Star Wars it's funny it's dumb and it doesn't take itself too seriously save mommy love maybe a controversial pick but my favorite thing in Star Wars is this [Music] Oh [Music] [Music] [Applause] this is not a joke I truly love this I don't want to spoil it too much for those that haven't seen it but it is a work of art death first 10 minutes the Wookiees screaming with no subtitles we got the cooking program Luke in eyeliner this guy Grandpa's masturbating in the living room this is all I ever wanted from Star Wars the creatures are the plot is I don't even know it's just a bunch of random scenes stuff together and I still feel genuine sadness when Whoopie gets this bantha plush destroyed this shows us what life and Star Wars is truly like young Jedi and the force it shows us what the average citizens do what they're all fighting for at some point it does become a bit hard to follow as the Wookiees walking to the boys but these are just small pickles in the jar compared to the main course meal when we set the scene in a small cantina on Tatooine a lowly patron approaches the bar his thirst could not be quenched by simple fluids he desires more intimate juices as he is rejected by his one true love he falls into a drunken stupor and dies or something the bar is closed down as a curfew is set in place but before we leave these friends we've made it's time for one more round [Music] just one more round friend then a homeward bound friend don't forget me in your dreams just one more wrap in a wave the scene is the soul of Star Wars to me it's what Star Wars is I've accepted that this is not the direction Star Wars will go in I've accepted my interest in the series is limited to a few films but that's kind of how this franchise works for everybody right it's three separate trilogies each with a different tone the three generations growing up to them and everybody has a different perspective on what makes Star Wars Star Wars there's something for everybody but everybody won't like everything and that's why no one will ever come to terms on new Star Wars thing the franchise will probably be fine it just needs a bit of a break but for me there's only one true Star Wars one movie and a holiday special there's some good after that I'm fine with that but if the series ended right here that'd be perfect it'd be an amazing niche 70s classic probably not heralded as an epic but a fun time nonetheless this is the world I prefer this is the Star Wars I prefer on that now it's time to say good night [Music]

Channel: KnowledgeHub

Views: 362,291

Rating: 4.5889502 out of 5

Keywords: Star Wars, Star Wars Rise of Skywalker, Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars ROS, KnowledgeHub, KnowledgeHub Star Wars, Star Wars review, Star Wars prequels, Empire isnt good, Star Wars isnt good, Star Wars fans, Star Wars KnowledgeHub, Absolute Worst Take on Star Wars, Worst Take, Last Jedi

Id: SP5cXaILDP0

Length: 17min 19sec (1039 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 18 2019