The Worst Kinds of College Essays

here are the worst kinds of college essays and how to fix them so five years ago i was sitting in my room hunched over my desk trying to think of the perfect college essay idea now you might have heard the advice that anything can be a good topic all that matters is how you write it and while i agree for the most part here are some topics and story lines that you should simply avoid and before we jump in if you're a rising senior who needs help with their college essay i'm editing essays over at nextadmit we have a team of consultants from the nation's top schools such as harvard mit and stanford and we've looked at thousands of essays over the past year first up we have the aggrieved athlete i twisted my pinky on the day of the big game i struggled to let coach know i have a booboo he kicked me off the team beautiful so here we have the classic sports injury essay in my opinion the problem with these sorts of essays is that they are way too predictable the intro always starts off with the injury sometimes it's a bit exaggerated the body talks about the recovery process and the conclusion usually talks about winning the big game or it has a line about hard work and resilience my number one piece of advice for these sorts of essays is to add some variety maybe the essay doesn't end on a note of happily ever after maybe you're still recovering or maybe you don't have to talk about hard work or resilience at all you can give this essay an academic twist maybe your injury prompted your interest in sports medicine maybe you took on a research project to further investigate your own condition okay so for the next essay we have the pseudo-intellectual ah yes i awoke for my slumber in the midst of dawn for i could not bear the sun's ethereal glow upon my eyelids so i understand why some students take this approach they want to impress their dream schools and they want to show them how they're super smart and intellectual but the problem here is that it's clear that you're trying too hard more importantly most admissions officers can tell you don't actually speak like that your college essay should be a reflection of your true voice and if you're using big words and trying to sound fancy you're not giving admissions officers insight into who you really are yes you can and even should write about intellectual things but don't try to sound fancier than you actually are next up we have the philosopher we're all like a bag of chips half of our existence is filled with substance and the other an insufferable swallowing void the issue here is that some students try too hard to sound deep and being deep in your essays isn't bad but it makes your essay more generic and sometimes even pretentious by grounding yourself in reality and writing about something you know about your sentences can go from this to something more like this notice how the second example sounds so much more rich and authentic and for that reason it's a lot more memorable alright next up we have the misfit i struggled as the new kid sitting at the lunch table i pulled out the chicken biryani my mom packed what's that horrid stench someone yelled probably your mother's musty casserole i retorted so these sorts of cultural essays are overdone and that doesn't mean your experiences aren't valid they are and you should be proud of who you are but let's think from the college's perspective for a minute they're trying to build a vibrant and diverse community of students a cultural essay like this while personal is overdone it reflects an experience that's probably applicable to thousands of other students if you do choose to write about your culture don't write about it as a whole addressing your experiences broadly will make it incredibly generic focus on a particular dish event experience or person from your culture that has helped you grow as a person now it's impossible to be a hundred percent unique but try to tell your story from an angle you think others haven't taken maybe you can combine one aspect of your culture with something intellectual for example maybe you're so fascinated with one part of your heritage that you do an independent research project about it after having reviewed hundreds of essays myself i can tell you this is an angle i haven't seen yet next up we have the sanctimonious savior my service trip abroad was humbling do you have the wendy's four for four i asked the children whose wendy they asked i was taken aback by my life of privilege okay so the problem with these mission trip essays is that they can come across as classes tone-deaf and condescending when you try to paint yourself as the hero and the people you're helping as poor or helpless you give this impression that you think too highly of yourself and lowly of others the main way to fix these sorts of essays is to remove any condescending language well i hope that helps if you want a part 2 let me know in the comments and if you need more help with your college essays check out nextadmin.com

Channel: Gohar Khan

Views: 272,473

Keywords: common app, common app essay

Id: NGf36IZK92o

Length: 4min 38sec (278 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 19 2022