The Willy Wonka Disaster | Sad Boyz

Welcome to Sad Boyz, a podcast about feelings and other things also. - I'm Jarvis. - I'm Jordan. - Ooh, a normie intro. - You know, I never... remember what I do. - Yeah. - It gets to it and I go, - "Oh, I say me! Yeah. Hey." - Yeah, I've given myself a little script, and I just say that, and I've said that for a million years. What's the total – we just got one full year of the Patreon, right? - That was like 51, 52 episodes. - Yeah, there's like - 100-something episodes now. - [JACOB] I think this might be 113. - Yeah. - Combined, or main feed? - No, that's just main. - (shocked noise) - Yeah. - What the hell? - I know. - [JACOB] So total, almost 160. That's insane. That means that there's, like, 150 hours of us just chatting, - just yapping. - That sucks. (laughs) - That's crazy. - I mean, that at least justifies those stats that people sometimes tag us in - for Spotify Wrapped. - Right. They're like, "You spent - 2 years listening this year?" - Yeah. I look, and it's longer than I've been alive. - I'm like, "How?" - "Interesting. - You started listening in 1990." - Yeah. Uh, I always used to hear anecdotes on podcasts that I listened to when I was younger and then being like, "How've they been making a podcast for five years?" - I don't like to think about it. - "How'd they make 100 episodes?" 'Cause too much time is passing too fast. - But we're still, like, youthful. - That's true. Thankfully. We have discovered the Fountain of Youth. It's... - My knees still hurt when it's cold. - Yeah. My spine's no good, but that's actually – I'm young also. How are you doing? How are you feeling today? Um... I'm all right. I'm in a weird, uh... I don't know how much of it is reverse-placebo, but I'm pulling back on one of my medications right now, - so I'm... - Ooh. kinda like a bookend to a certain period of my life, - where I went... - Yeah. I went up on my lamotrigine 'cause I felt I needed it at the time. It was that way for a couple years, - at max. - Yeah. And it never occurred to me I could go back down, nor did I know what the incentive was, and I just asked my psych... - Uh, Special K. - Special K, yeah. I asked him just, like, "Can it... cause, in any cases, a kinda..." Uh, I don't wanna say "numbness." Um... I don't know. Kinda acquiescing life a little bit, 'cause I'm trying to pull apart the threads - of how much is just - Right. purely the regular chemical predisposition I've had toward depression my whole life, versus what is conditional? Yeah. It's the "chicken and egg" problem. That's, like, always the struggle. And there's still, you know, every time we have a session, he goes, "Well, you're mourning," and you're like... - "Right." - "Special K!" - "You got it again." - "Doc, you just don't miss, huh?" But, you know, there's always a visa worry - or something supplanted into, so... - Yeah, that's true. I'm trying to fix sleep and fix that, and I associate the lamotrigine so much with, uh... - little day-to-day nuances. - Mmhmm. Like, the first thing I noticed... when I ran out back in the UK a couple years ago is, uh... I get a lot of physical... withdrawal, which most people don't. That's just kind of a bad roll of the draw on that one, but... I can't order coffees right. That's the first thing I always notice. I'm a little mealy-mouthed, and the... It's not just a brain fog, but it's kind of like that. It's like controlling myself over the cloud - instead of a console. - Right, there's a weird latency. Yeah, and I... and yeah, I can adapt to it, and people probably aren't noticing as much - in the world, but, uh... - Yeah, for sure. I'm feeling a little bit of that today. I don't know if it's just because I'm also tired, but I... I'm happy about it. We've made the comparison before, but it feels a little bit like braces, - where it is not pleasant or good, - Mmhmm. but it's a step forward, - or it's something. - Right. - It's like a mark; it's like a bookmark. - Yeah. Um, and I don't know, a lot of other – I'm still riding high on... - visa extension stuff. - True. Hosting something this Friday, a little hangout, which I've been meaning to do for a long time. - I'm stoked about that. - Get to renew my lease soon. - It's gone up. - Oh, hell yeah, dude. - Hey, OK. - Let's go. - What about you, dude? - Subscribe to Patreon. Um... Oh, we should say, by the way, yeah, check out the Patreon. We just did an off-mic additional Baldur's Gate episode. Like, we sat down and just instinctively – I felt like, uh, I needed to get it off of my chest, because otherwise it would take over yet another episode of the podcast. So, uh, I'm sorry that you didn't get to experience that. It's a little thing called real-life friendship. - Um, but I'll – - We're trying to get more episodes - of that in a year. - Yeah, true. - Gotta get regular with it. - Back at the factory. Though for those who are following along on the Baldur's Gate saga, I have now started a second playthrough. Um, and I am already 50 hours into it. - I do know that – - This is our Spotify Wrapped - for Sad Boyz. - I do know that I finished the game, my first playthrough, last week, and I went straight into another playthrough and I'm already 50 hours in. Just started Act Three. It doesn't make any sense, the hours in, 'cause it... Maybe 'cause the game's good and fulfilling and it doesn't feel wasted in a way other stuff does, but I... Like, all I did last year, I feel like, was play specifically - Resident Evil 4 remake. - Mmhmm. Favorite game of last year, until Baldur's Gate. Obsessed with it. Learned the speedruns. Got really, really into it. And I checked my stats, and I have, you know, like 180 hours. I was like, "Wow, that's a lot of... a lot of this game." - "It's a lot of this 15-hour game." - Yeah. And now I'm like, "Oh, it's just not even close." - I know. - I'm creeping on, like, 200-something on a game that I'll be playing at least double that. I know. That's the thing. It's like, I did, uh... I think it was like 113 hours on my first playthrough of Baldur's Gate. Uh, and then now I'm 50 hours into another one, so that's already 165-ish hours. - Ugh! - I think it helps – It helps being such an evangelical for this game, because my closest friends are all doing the same thing. - I actually – - Like, you're all enabling me. I don't wanna dox, uh, game-dox any of our friends, but, uh, privately, a handful of our friends are all playing the game, and I just talked to another friend of ours who was thinking about picking it back up again, and I've been evangelizing. It's, uh... Yeah, I feel like, uh, anybody not playing it right now is kinda like a lapsed Catholic, where if they asked most people, they'd probably just be like, "I don't know if you need to go to church that much. Like, you can just do whatever you wanna do." And then we're over here, like, "Well, wanna go to hell?" - "You should play." - For those who are curious, um, I'm playing Dark Urge, on Tactician again. I'm gonna do an Honour Mode run after this, so I've started preparing. I've started researching. Uh... Don't worry. There's plenty more hours to go. There's still more hours to go. Uh, and I've got, um, my party – I tried to switch it up this time. I got the main character. They're... they're a bard, primarily, - College of Swords bard. - What race? - Uh... - Not species. (laughs) Uh – (laughs) yeah. It's a Lolth Drow. Mm. Um, Lloth-Sworn. - Um... - British. It's essentially England. Fem Drow, actually, with like blue and pink hair. - And freckles. Drow freckles. - Oh. And pronouns? Yeah, and pronouns. Um, and, uh, everyone's racist to Drow in that game. I didn't fully... I was trying to escape from the real world, and everybody's like, "Huh, interesting that a Drow would break up this conflict." "You got, uh, paperwork for this car, sir?" [JARVIS] Yeah. - "Excuse me, ma'am, you steal this?" - You get pulled over by, like, - the Flaming Fists, or whatever. - (laughing) "Hey, having a nice night? - You been drinking tonight?" - Yeah. "Uh, no, just... - Just was at the bar not drinking." - Just sniffing your car, like, - "I smell marijuana." - Yeah. "I'm smelling, uh, corpse flower on your breath." Yeah, corpus callosum. - Uh, the – - "Nightshade?" I've got, um... "What's that? Is that Nightsong?" - (both laughing) - I've got... So, we've got the main character. They're a bard. We've got Minthara. Um, Minthara is – She's still a paladin, but instead of Oath of Vengeance I'm going Oath of the Ancients. Um... And we got Shadowheart. - I can't – can't quit Shadowheart. - What? I needed to go full romance, 100% romance, good ending. And you chose not to do that? In the first playthrough, I was improvising, so I made some mistakes. This time, no mistakes were made. We have, uh, 100 approval. We've been dating since Act One. - Oh, I never had that issue with her. - Everything's going great. Look, it's one relationship. We don't have to be, like, so possessive over her or whatever. I'll kill you, though. So, I respecced Shadowheart into a Tempest Cleric my first playthrough, and I couldn't resist doing it again in the second playthrough, 'cause it was so good. I would never tell her who to be. Yeah, well. - Um... - I mean, I did. - You did. - I did change her class, obviously. Are you insane? I know what's best for her. But I am looking into, um... I'm just kinda getting more experience with builds, and... I might try Life Cleric, 'cause I've heard it can get really strong. Um, but having a paladin on my team as well, paladins are an incredible support class, so I have a little bit too much support. And there's the option paralysis of having that many fucking support spells just all in the same space. Oh, uh, I'm doing – I am doing some rotations, because I am running, you know, - Evocation Wizard Gale. Um... - (softly) Oh, yeah. Because I wanna do his full storyline, 'cause I didn't do it last time. But, you know, I can't have everybody on my team at once, and I am enjoying my current thing. So, until I get to an encounter, like when I did, um... When I did the portal thing in Act Two, the, like, - tower defense little mini game? - Yeah, sure. Like, that was when I would bring out more of the casters. - The Bloons stage. - The Bloons stage, yeah. Um, and then, uh... Uh, my biggest – The one that makes me the happiest, I think, other than Minthara, is Halsin, 'cause I really didn't play with Halsin in the first time. And I did – I'm not playing with him as a Druid, 'cause I don't feel like it. Um, but I did class him into a Ranger, and I feel like Rangers also have that - nature and animal shit. - They're still crunchy granola, annoying. - It still fits. But – - Asking you if you, like, would go fruit- and veg-based. He's been my Astarion replacement, so instead of doing, um... stealthy lockpicky stuff with Astarion, I'm doing it with Halsin, and it's very, very funny. Because he's so big. - He's fumbling with the lock-picks. - Astarion is so small and tiny, like little skinny guy. - He's the size of a lock-pick. - Yeah. (laughs) And then Halsin's so big, and he's like, "I can open that!" - (laughs) And then, uh – - It's like seeing a bear play, like, - the trombone. - Exact – Or, you know, you sneak to hide, and you crouch a little bit, and it's.. It feels like it does something when you're as tiny as Astarion, but when you're Halsin, you are still a big hulking man. - You're the height of other people. - Yeah, lightly crouching. Uh, and so that's been very fun. - He's Gloom Stalker Ranger Thief. - He's one of the only characters that's not extremely soy when you ask them to go back to camp. He's also, a thing you take for granted, not... Uh, doesn't have a parasite. - Yeah, he's just hanging out. - And so, uh, if you go, if you first approach Moonrise Tower – This is a little spoilery. So, just a tiny spoiler. Uh, if you approach Moonrise Tower for the first time with Halsin in your party, they're aggro to you. Like, the game actually warns you. You're like, "Oh, you might not wanna do this." - Yeah. - But then I... I went without him, and then I brought him back into my party, and – They don't aggro me, 'cause we're all surrounded by, uh, - by True Souls, so to speak. - Christians. Uh, and... But if Halsin is ever alone, - or veers from the group – - When you can't talk for him, yeah. The guards go, "Wait a minute." - "You're not one of us." - "You're... so tall." And that does add for a fun little... um, element. Um, so... - Yeah – - How're you doing? - Huh? - How're you doing? Um, I'm – you know... It's, uh... It's been a tough couple of weeks for me. Um, hives stuff, like, hasn't really gotten better. I'm gonna try to go to a doctor this week. And that's just, like, taken the wind out of my sails for doing most things. Um, because... I, uh... am uncomfortable at all hours of the day. And so the only things I can do are like my hyperfocuses, which is Baldur's Gate, because at least that way, um... I can take my mind off of it for a while, like the physical discomfort. Um, and it's been hard to work, because it requires me to focus, and then there's so many distractions, and I'm just super conscious of my body, and itching and shit like that. But... Um, you know, there's light at the end of the tunnel, I think, I hope. I know that it's never lasted for that-that long, so hopefully... Hopefully I'll be able to weather this in one piece. And then I have started trying to get back out there. Uh, the highlight of my week, um, the rare non-Baldur's Gate highlight of my week was that I went to a Fall Out Boy concert. - Oh, yeah. - I went with, um, with Nathan Stanz, friends of the show. Uh, Richelle Stanz. - Shoutout. Uh, also Alanah Pearce. - Oh, no. - Frogan was there. - Ahh! Um, the whole – what's the name of Frogan's podcast? - Ayyrabs. - The Ayyrabs – - The whole Ayyrabs podcast – - Whoa, you can't say that, dude! - It's the name of their podcast! - Jesus. - It's their podcast. - Jacob, bleep it when he says it but not when I do. But, OK, but there was a funny complication. There was like a Fall Out Boy show in LA kinda recently and I missed it, and I was like, "Oh, I love them. I wanna go." - Didn't know it was happening? - I didn't know, and it was like – It was maybe them with another – It was like a group of musicians, like some sort of festival-type thing. And that wouldn't be my first choice of way to see any band. - [JORDAN] Sure. - Um, but... I was like, "Oh, I missed it," but then somebody was like, "They're coming back in March." And I was like, "Great, I'm down to go." And so we ended up making a groupchat, and then more and more people kept getting added to the groupchat. And I think there was, in total, like eight of us or something. And... someone was like, "I'll buy all the tickets." I don't wanna put anybody on blast, 'cause they couldn't have known. Uh, but... Uh, me and Alanah – I'll call both of us out – We were like, "Hey, I'm willing to splurge a little bit - for, like, not-bad seats." - Mmhmm. Like, nothing crazy, but I don't want something horrible, 'cause I really do wanna be able to, like, enjoy the show. Uh... In comfort. You know, it's like, what is life for? You're not like a habitual concert-goer. You wanna make the most of - the times you do go. - I used to go to a lot, and I don't anymore, and so this is like... I'm like, "This is gonna be my... you know, first concert I'm going to this year, so... And I haven't been treating myself in that way, so hey, let's do it." And then somebody was like, "Oh, don't even worry. We found tickets for $75." - [JORDAN] OK. - And I'm like... "That is really cheap... for a arena... concert show." It is the cheapest, actually, the cheapest seats available. It was at the Honda Center, which is like a hockey venue, but it was a gigantic arena. - It's a cover band. - But the thing is – Yeah. Didn't that – oh, that's a Community plotline, - [JORDAN] Oh! - where Green Day is gonna perform at Greendale. And then everybody keeps talking about it, and then... and then it's these Irish guys named Greene Daeye. "We're Greene Daeye!" Um... Scottish. Maybe. - I don't remember. - It sounded Scottish. - [JARVIS] Huh? - That was a good Scots. I think that was – yeah. When I did it, I was like, "No, it wasn't Irish. It was Scottish." "Hello there, mate! Welcome to Edinburgh!" - "Time for the festival!" - So we drive over there, and it's just a good old time. Drive to Anaheim, it's like an hour drive. Um, went to pick up Alanah, then I went over to the Stanzes, and then Nate and Richelle swapped off on the drive. And just good old times, chatting with pals. And I was like, "This is a good time." So that was great. Then we arrive. We're all talking about eating a hot dog, eating a shitty hot dog at the... at the venue, which is like a pastime, you know? If you go to a big arena, sports arena, the food is always off, but it's got a charm to it. - And – - Yeah, it's like a slightly-too-stale popcorn - at the theater kinda thing. - I'm like, am I really about to pay $8 for a hot dog that cost 20 cents to make, max? AMC's giving me nachos - with, I think, year-old cheese. - Yeah. Uh, but I was so hungry, and I was like, "Fuck it, I want a hot dog." And so we grab the hot dog; we grab our drinks and stuff. We walk to the seats. We find them. We are at the end of this row, and we see the row, the section. We're like, "OK, we're in the right place." But this is not... You can't really see the stage. And I was like, "Maybe we have to scoot in, and we're gonna maybe walk along this row and get more..." - Like, a seat where you can actually see. - Sure. The seats that we bought... were behind the stage. It was like... - I have a picture. - Well, yeah, 'cause I saw a clip of you at the show. Is it that same angle that was on your Story? So, this was the angle... - originally. - Huh. [JARVIS] Where that is the stage. [JARVIS] Here you can see... - that, um – you can't see. (laughs) - Yeah. [JORDAN] Here, I can't see. [JARVIS] And there's a monitor here on the left. That's Fall Out Boy, kind of in that small... Yeah, this was The Maine... Or actually, no, this is right before Jimmy Eat World came out. Uh, but then there's a monitor there. I was like, "At least we'll be able to look at the monitor," and it was there for The Maine, who was one of the opening acts, but... but then they turned it off for Jimmy Eat World. So I was like, "Now we actually can't see." "Now it's like I'm in my hotel room next to a concert happening, - and I'm hearing the sounds." - The music's not even directed at you. Not even. I'm hearing a muffled version of everything. It's one of those TikTok remixes that's just like... uh, Universal Music Group re-releasing the same song, but slowed down, - "through a wall" mode version. - One thing you have to know about me is Fall Out Boy is one of, if not my favorite band. - You're a Fall Out Boy. - I'm – When they came on, their 30-song setlist, I knew every song. - I knew the lyrics. - 30 songs is a good show. It was a long show, and it was – oh my god. But... So, I was like, a little bit bummed. But I was like, "I'm with friends. It's gonna be fine." Me and Alanah were sitting next to each other; we were kinda cracking wise at the situation, just making light of it. And then Alanah was like, "What if... we can buy new tickets?" - Oh, dur – ? - And I was like... "That's an interesting concept." 'Cause, uh... 'Cause some of our crew, like Raff and Frogan and people, were like, they went and complained, 'cause they... - the seats were not sold as obstructed. - Right. Uh, they said that you would have a clear view, but they are obstructed, as you can see here. - Um, but – - By the obstructions. Um, but they were like, "We can't do anything about it." So... We were like... "OK, let's just see," because we were looking at the crowd, and it... There were tons of people there, but there were clearly empty seats, right? But the thing is if you go on Ticketmaster, they're – they're, um – The show's in progress, so they're not selling any seats. And so then Alanah – I didn't have service. Alanah was tapping away at her phone, and was like, "I found a row of four seats... that are like, in front of the" – Like, it's not like they were good seats, - but they were facing the stage. - It was, like, at the show. Right, and that was – like, the, um – - Audience seats. - Improvement. And they were like... $150. Which is twice the seats where you can't see, - but still, like... - Ten times the quality. Concerts are expensive. Like, Ticketmaster arena concerts, I can't – Like, the real ticket price is not that high, but then you get hit with like - $9 million in fees, right? - Yeah. And we were just like... I was like, "Alanah... I think we have to try to do this." "We only live once. We're gonna try to do it." - Uh... - And she said, like, "Crikey. Crikey, mate." Yeah, she said, "Oh, dude, I think we found..." - "Oh, no!" - "We found, like... We found a few seats in front of the stage." And of course, for her it's the morning. - Right. Right. - She was like, - "I just got up. I'm bushwacked!" - She's wearing sunglasses, yeah. - Um... - "It's a bit chilly out here, isn't it?" Yeah. Uh... She was a telepresence robot. - (laughing) Yeah, in bad seats. - She was in Australia. Just move her. Uh, so we ended up buying... a row of four seats during Jimmy Eat World's set, like right at the beginning of it, and I was like, "If we can get this before 'The Middle' comes on and I can just rock out to 'The Middle' before Fall Out Boy comes out, this'll be great." And, uh, then the thing happened where it was like, we had to go on a secondhand website. I searched on, like, um... SeatGeek or whatever, and there wasn't really anything. But I don't know what Alanah did or how she found it, but she did. And I said, uh, "Buy it. I will split these with you, and then we won't... We won't charge Nate and Richelle, like... like, for being a part of our plot to..." - [JORDAN] You dastardly boy. - 'Cause Stanz was literally at the edge. - [JORDAN] That rules. - He was on the far-est end. There was nothing for him to look at. He was looking at, like, the empty seats actually behind the stage, where you couldn't – like... There is literally nothing funnier to – As someone that, when we worked together, sat right next to Nate, there is nothing funnier in the world than something annoying him. - 'Cause he's so patient. - Yeah, everyone was super patient and super normal about it, and we were ready to – If this plan didn't work out, whatever, we'll make the best of it. But it was fun to have a little plan to try to make, you know, try to make something happen, and then have the story, right? And so we got the tickets, and then it took a second for the tickets to process 'cause it was through a secondary, - like secondhand website. - Right. And so we didn't have the QR codes and stuff. And we weren't sure when Alanah was gonna get the confirmation e-mails. We were like, "Well, those seats are gonna be empty, and we know the numbers of the seats, so we can start heading over there." - So then we start... - Ooh. - Mm. Roguish behavior. - Which is – OK. We start trying to make our way to the seats, and – Now, this definitely would not have happened if, uh... it was in the intermission in between bands, but because we were the only people outside, - like in the halls during this part, - Oh, right. every security person wanted to give us, like, the whole nine yards about, "Where are you going? What's your... - What's your, um...?" - Like a Drow. Literally. Like, "What are you doing around here? - Shouldn't you be in the Underdark?" - "Is Lolth with you?" Yeah. (laughs) Uh, and... And then Alanah didn't have the QR codes yet, um, or the barcodes. It's gotta come all the way from Australia. Yeah, it took a while, yeah. And she was pulling it up, and then she pulls up a parking pass, 'cause apparently she bought something that included a parking pass. The person was like, "I'm just getting rid of these," and it's the day of the show, so literally it was like... that person... Like, I don't know why they didn't sell them for cheaper. It's like they're at the show... There should be a service – I mean, there kind of is, but like... for someone who's like, the show's happening, and someone is sitting in the worst seats in the house, - let's give them your fucking tickets. - Yeah. Um, but anyway – OK, the other thing is – the other thing I'll complain about is, uh, in that moment, we were like... It is representative of, like, the capitalist greed that they even sell these seats. - You know? - Oh, yeah. These seats should not even be available. Yeah, 'cause presumably they – Well, I guess they're there 'cause people will buy them, but they're like... I guess sometimes there's, you know, a Chappelle show where he walks the center of the arena or something. But for any music show, - that's not gonna work. - Well, it was like they roped off the back of the stage, like the stuff that's actually behind it, and we were next to that. So it was like they just... Yeah, you would be looking at the crew. - And, like, the entourage. - Yeah, and we did. Uh, we could see kind of the drummer a little bit. - You know what I mean? - Oh, nice. - And, um... - That's Jimmy. And it's fine. And I can't stress enough that if it had been this, it would've just been a funny story. But, uh, we eventually got some good will from a few of the security guards and stuff, and we finally got let into the new... the new spot. And the new seats... again, they were high-up. It wasn't like... they were, uh, spectacular, but... - [JORDAN] They were at the show. - The difference... This is with a little bit of zoom, by the way. - [JORDAN] Oh, I mean, yeah. - Yeah. - [JORDAN] That's a show. - Now we're at the concert. [JORDAN] That's a very normal seat. [JARVIS] Yeah, and there were tons of empty seats around us. And it wasn't like – it was full enough, obviously, if you were looking out. But if you were looking for seats, I'm like, "OK, there's seats." I don't understand why we couldn't just do some "everybody scooch over a little bit"-type thing. How long was the show in total? - Oh my god. - That's always my issue, is fatigue. Well, this wasn't, uh – this was... - sitting down, so... - Mm. I have a bit more energy for sitting down. - I'm just thinking about Baldur's Gate. - I was. Um, so... Jimmy Eat World went on for like... an hour? Then Fall Out Boy was out for like a couple hour – I feel like it was like two hours. It was like a 30-song set. - [JORDAN] Respect. - It was incredible, though. Like... Like, the visuals were really cool. The setlist included tons of old songs that I've never heard them play live before, including some of my favorite songs. There was a point where I nearly cried. (laughs) - [JORDAN] Oh, that's sweet. - I was just excited to be able to hear some of the stuff from Take This to Your Grave. Nostalgia's like a very... interesting emotion. 'Cause, you know, in theory... evolution's driven us towards having certain feelings for practical reasons, right? Like guilt is for learning, - and happiness is for, uh, - Yeah. encouragement for good behaviors, and we enjoy the taste of fruit because it used to be scarcity and we need the nutrients, blah-blah. And I do think there's, like... - nostalgia is such a nebulous one, - Mmhmm. because it's... Not that everything is only practical, but it... There's just – It's not like, uh... we had these beautiful happy childhoods and now we're miserable, - and we need to reach back to it. - No. There's just something, like... It's like you are a kid again, and you are more sensitive to excitement and stuff, and it's like your adult body is overwhelmed by that amount of emotion. I will sometimes, you know, - cry listening to music, and it's like... - Girl. Yeah. 'Cause I have, you know, this connection to the songs and stuff. And I think there's just this out-of-body moment, where I never thought that I'd be able to hear this song live. 'Cause I had seen Fall Out Boy live before, but it was in 2016. And, uh... - And – - It almost feels like - nostalgia's not the right word for it. - Well, no, but it's just like, I have a connection to these older songs, and usually when a band is touring, a lot of bands... are like, "Well, I wanna do the new stuff." - "I'm not too worried about that." - Yeah. And I think that Fall Out Boy kinda... They have a huge catalog. Like, when you listen to it, you're like, "Oh, wow, they've had hits in every decade," you know? The fact that they did 30 tracks - and could've done a ton more is... - Well, that's the thing. It's like they did "Sugar, We're Goin Down" third. You know? - [JORDAN] That's sick. - I thought that was cool, like, "Oh, they're like, 'Let's get that out of the way." Um, and... Yeah, so people were just – Like, the energy was really good. The visuals were really cool. They brought out, um – They brought out a band... that, uh – They brought out Cobra Starship. And if people don't know, Cobra Starship used to be signed to, uh, Decaydance Records, which was, um, Pete Wentz's imprint of Fueled by Ramen records. And, uh, I used to be super into them - in, like... - Cobra what? - Cobra Starship. - Huh. Their biggest song... is a song I don't like, and it is a song that they performed, but it was still really cool to see them, which is "Good Girls Go Bad." ♪ I make them good girls go bad! ♪ [JORDAN] Did they bring them out for that song? Yeah, they brought them out. It was weird. They did this little Magic 8 Ball section where Pete Wentz would talk to a Magic 8 Ball, - and it would... It was very cute. - Ooh. I wanna see if I can, um... Like, 'cause some of the... [JARVIS] OK, so this is practical. - [JARVIS] This is a real dog. - Dog. - (laughs) Yeah. - Whoa. It's just really close. It's a big puppet. - Whoa, what? It's like Lion King. - There's a guy behind it pushing it, and then the mouth moves of the dog. - It was going up and down. - How do you transport it? I don't know. - And this came out of – - For the audio listeners, this is... It's like a story tall. (laughs) It is so big. It's like twice the height - of these ceilings. - Jacob, can you go on YouTube and see if there's a video of this? <i>♪ Goddamn arms race ♪</i> - <i>♪ This ain't a scene; it's a ♪</i> - Oh, yeah, you can... <i>♪ Goddamn arms race ♪</i> You cant see it 'cause the subscribe button is covering it, but the... The dog's mouth is moving along. To the lyrics? - Yeah, to the lyrics. - The dog is singing. Oh, that second one is crazy. "A massive dog." <i>♪ Goddamn arms race ♪</i> <i>♪ This ain't a scene ♪</i> - That's ridiculous. - It was crazy, - and it came out of nowhere. - What does that weigh? I don't know how it even works. It's held up by a lot of strings. Is a big Doberman, like, part of the Fall Out Boy [canon]? Uh, the So Much (For) Stardust cover, I think has a Doberman on it. - Which is their album they're touring. - And it's smaller, probably. - Mm, same size. - Oh, OK. Jesus. - Big album. - But there were so many cool production elements, where I was like, "This is impressive." Like, look at how big it is. Yeah, that's the actual size compared to... Oh, dude, it could eat him. Did it bite him? - Yeah, he died. - Aw, man. Patrick Stump is gone. But yeah, the set changes were cool. Oh, yeah, that's the cover for So Much (For) Stardust, is like a Doberman. That's their new album. What's on it? What is that? - I think bubbles? - Oh. Yeah, it was a... I had a great time. Like, genuinely one of the best concerts I've been to in recent memory. You ever go to, uhhhhh... like a Coachella or a festival of any regard? Uh, never been to Coachella, but I have been to festivals. And... Did you hear the buffering when I asked that question, by the way? That's the reduced lamotrigine element. That was, like, late "uhhhhhh." Oh, I do that normal, so I didn't even notice. But yeah, so... - Not Coachella, but some? - I... am mixed on festivals, because... I'm on my feet a lot, which I don't... - Like, it's just a lot. - Yeah. And then... The actual performances, it's cool that you get to see so many different bands, but it's... I much prefer seeing a band in their own element where they control all of the... variables. Like... I saw Kendrick Lamar at a festival. And it was a bad show. And it has no bearing on Kendrick Lamar. - Sure. - It was like... - You know – - How much can you do? The tech was messed up, like, there's all these things where it's like, when you have your own team and everything's the same every night, that's one thing. But when you are sharing the tech with a bunch of different acts, it's not setting all the artists up for success. Yeah, I feel like I... I like... indulging in a bunch of snacks. I saw Kendrick Lamar at the same venue, by the way, - [JORDAN] That place? - in Anaheim, yeah, and it was incredible. (laughs) So I just wanna say that it's like... It's, uh – sometimes festival shows, like – I think it's a cool environment, and it's a thing I enjoyed a lot when I was younger, but I also love to, like... see an artist in their own element - when they control the whole show. - Yeah, I feel like if I'm... Sometimes I'll have a nice... tasty big meal; sometimes I'll just have a bunch of snacks. But if I'm paying a bunch of money, - I'd rather have the one big lovely meal. - Yeah. Like, kinda denser, plus I am kinda... I don't know. I'm easily bored. Like, with any same – With the exception of Baldur's Gate. The pacing of a lot of concerts that I've been to, I'm like... "OK, let's get moving. - I've heard enough." - I feel that. Like, I was enjoying myself, but it wasn't until... I remember telling Alanah, "I'm conserving my energy," 'cause... I considered getting a drink, or I considered getting coffee, and I'm like, "No, I know I'm gonna activate when all these songs come on that I know." But that's the thing. I think for me, at this point, if I know all the songs, - then I'm gonna have the time of my life. - Yeah. And if I don't know all the songs, then I feel like I'm not... in on it. - What everybody else is in on. - Mmhmm. Like, I saw Brockhampton a few years back, and it was a really high-energy show... I saw Tyler, the Creator, and I was like moshing and shit. Yeah, I feel like I would flip my shit at both of those. - [JARVIS] Yeah. - But for... Reasons outside of it just being a show. Like, who it is, and it's the eras they're in, and it's... They are also just very good performers. I'm envious of the Kendrick show 'cause he's just such a good performer. - You know? - Or it's like, I just think that, uh... I end up having... not FOMO, but I end up being like, "I wish I... had prepared more." It's almost like if I go to a concert and I don't know the songs, - Oh, yeah. - I feel like I didn't do my homework. - (laughs) OK. - And, uh... And then it's harder for me to... enjoy it, 'cause I keep thinking about how I wish I had a connection to it. - [JORDAN] Yeah. Makes sense. - Because sometimes... the music will blend together, and you have to know – Like, for me, I have to know what's there... like, to be able to tease apart - what I'm even listening to. - Sure. - Um... - Yeah, I know we've both, together and independently, gone to friends' live shows, music, improv, whatever, and it is fun, but it is missing that element, because that's a different way of engaging with music. I like seeing my friend up there... drumming their heart out, crushing a track, doing like five songs. I'm like, "Neat, I didn't know that this person, that that was a part of their life," and it's cool to be exposed to that. But... It's kind of like... seeing a Marvel movie if I just didn't like superheroes. - [JARVIS] Mmhmm. - Like, "I don't..." Or even just watching a Marvel movie now for the first time, and having no reference point for the other stuff, when I'd rather get excited when Cap picks up the hammer, you know? Yeah, 100%. One interesting thing about this is that the new Fall Out Boy album, I... had listened to a few times. - [JORDAN] The dog album? - Yeah, So Much (For) Stardust. And I... wouldn't say I had a deep connection to it, but I had listened to it. And then when I saw the songs live, it like – If I see Adam Sandler in the wild, I don't have a huge connection to Adam Sandler's movies, his stardom, his stand-up. I think he's funny. I think he's entertaining. We weren't at SNL age when he was on it. Right, and so it's like I don't... Like... I don't have an emotion – I'm not gonna – Like, I don't have an emotional connection to Adam Sandler. But I would be like, "That's fuckin' – this is fucking crazy!" - Yeah, it's like seeing an eclipse. - Yeah! And so when, like, the songs from their new album came on, I was like, "Wait a second! I LOVE these songs!" (both laughing) "You're right! That big dog was right the whole time!" There was a song that they performed live – For Fall Out Boy-heads, it's "Heaven, Iowa." But... Is there a fan name? - [JARVIS] I don't know. - Like a Fall Boy. - A Sad Boy? - No. You know... - [JORDAN] Jordan's Angels. - FOB... I mean, you know, FOB is like the initials of the... What if it just comes up "Losers"? - Um... - Ooh. - "Believers"? "Youngbloods"? - Oh, come on. - All of – - "Car Crash Hearts"? - It's gotta be a song, right? - Yeah, it's from a song. - They should be Big Dogs. - It's from a song, uh, on Infinity on High, their 2007 album. How about The Dobermans? There were songs where I'm like, "Oh, hearing it live made everything click, and now I really like the song." Like, they played "Heaven, Iowa," and I... If you said the name of that song to me, I'd be like, "I don't know what song it is." When they sung it, I was like – First of all, Patrick Stump is an incredible vocalist. - Like... - How old is he? How old are they? I think they're in their mid 30s, late 30s now? - [JORDAN] Oh. - Can we do "Patrick Stump age"? I'm gonna guess 36. 39. Dude, he's killing it. I just have that – - I think it's 'cause ages – - Pete Wentz is 44, by the way. - OK, that makes a little more sense. - Pete Wentz, I think he's aged like a fine wine. I mean, I do have that, like, um – 'Cause when you're a kid, a teenager, and you're really getting into anything, - everyone's 50. - Yeah. And then as the sliding scale moves up – Like, your teacher when you're in fifth grade is 60 years old. And now in retrospect, like, - she just got engaged; she was 20. - OK, I know I've talked about this, and I do wanna move off this Fall Out Boy thing, but... Two more things that were very cute to me. One, incredible that the whole band is still together. Uh, they did take a break in 2008 or 2009 to like 2013, uh, and that was a long time for me as a high-school kid. - Bad timing. Annoying timing. - I was like, "Oh, they broke up." And then my junior year of college or whatever, they were coming back with a new album, and I was like (gasps dramatically)! - Um, and... - You were choking on something. Yeah. And then someone did the Heimlich maneuver. "And I went, 'I'm excited about this album.'" So, the whole band is still together, which is crazy. When their first music video came out for this new album, Joe Trohman, uh, the lead guitarist, wasn't in... it, and I think he had been dealing with some, like, addiction stuff and with some rehab stuff. And I don't follow the band, like... the personnel of the band that closely in 2024. And so I remember seeing that. I remember seeing people being like, "I hope Joe gets better." And then... Uh, they come out, and I was like, "Oh, fucking Joe is here!" I was like, "Hell yeah, dude, that's so fucking sick!" And so it's like the whole, you know, it's... You know, Andy Hurley, Joe Trohman, Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump. High-school reunion, like, "I didn't know Joe was coming!" Yeah, and then that was very heartwarming to me, and then also the fact that, um... they ended their set with "Saturday," which is on Take This to Your Grave. It's one of their first, like, singles that popped, but it wasn't – Like, "Sugar, We're Goin Down" became a giant hit. This was like the song popped in rock radio. Prior to that single putting them, like, - on the global map? - Yeah. Like, "Sugar, We're Goin Down" was on the album that came out after this, but this was when they first sort of had their big break, like, "OK, we're a band. We're touring. We're actually making a name for ourselves." And they ended their 2016 set that I saw with the same song. But I think it's so cute that, uh, uh, the, like, last line of the song "Saturday" – And there's a few lines in "Saturday" that reference this, but the last line of "Saturday" is, ♪ Me and Peeeeete! ♪ - (laughing) - Aw, that's cute. And it's like a 21-year-old song now, and I'm like, "Aw, they're buddies!" "Aw, they're friends!" Just like fanboying out like a Tumblr called, like, "Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch!" - [JARVIS] "The two buddies!" - "Being chaotic for 6 minutes straight." "Patrick and Pete, best friends forever!" - (laughing) - All right. OK, so anyway, that was a good time. Jacob, were you a superfan of any particular band at any particular time? [JACOB] Uh, when I was in middle school and high school, I really liked, like, Twenty One Pilots. Dude. Hell yeah. I missed it completely. [JACOB] Yeah. Coldplay. I got into Twenty One Pilots. Twenty One Pilots were up my alley, 'cause they were like... I feel like if you were into Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy - [JACOB] Yeah. - when you were in, like, middle/high school like I was, Twenty One Pilots comes around, it feels like it can still fit, no matter where you're at. Man, there was such a self-consciousness that I feel like... simmered, at least where I was – maybe 'cause I'm from the countryside. But, like, there was such a self-consciousness - about getting into American media. - Mm. It's unavoidable, especially now. There's no way that same kinda thing can exist. But I do think, like... There was social cachet in your iPod Nano having Arctic Monkeys, but there was not social [cachet] in it having, like, Chilis. And then Stadium Arcadium came out, one kid said it's really good, and he's a popular kid, and now you're allowed to like that American media, but I was not allowed to like NSYNC. - Oh, yeah. - That's for girls, and it's American. You can't do that. I... I feel like people made fun of me for liking Fall Out Boy. I remember Googling around music reviews, and I was like, "Is their music bad? Is it bad?" Wait, can you go to Metacritic – Type in "Metacritic Infinity on High." So, this is Fall Out Boy's 2007 album. And there's two things I wanna say about it. Yeah, that one. OK, so this is "generally favorable reviews." Like, a lot of – It had a lot of positive reviews. Um, but I remember going to this, and I'm like, "Oh, OK, so it's not bad." - Like – - "This is the rules." Even though music reviews, it's whatever, but it was a thing where people were making fun of it like I like this... It's kinda like how Justin Bieber was made fun of. - Sure. - Where it's like, "Oh, OK." By people that did not hear the music. It was definitely people – it was – I was made fun of by people who were fans of, like, indie rock, like the Arctic Monkeys and shit like that. And so then I started disliking that in response. I'm trying to remember if there was – oh! I mean, one thing that now, in retrospect, was just racism, is it was like... - "You're listening to rap?" - Oh. Not that it was bad or not OK, but me listening to rap is like, "OK. Yeah, big surprise. Oh, listening to Eminem?" I'm like, "Who can I listen to?" - Yeah. - "They made one for you guys." The other thing I wanna say about this album is that, after the show, when everyone was funneling into parking, you know, people were coming up to me and saying hi and stuff, and I thought that was sweet. And this girl comes up to me and wanted to get a picture, and she was wearing an Infinity on High shirt, and her mom took the picture. And I realized that, like... she would've been... She might not have been born when the album came out. And she was wearing an – I was like, "I should be wearing that shirt!" (laughs) I'm just joking, by the way. - "It's not fair!" - It was super sweet. But, um... And it's great that you found that album and loved it - despite it being so – yeah. - Oh, I genuinely think it's amazing. Because I literally was like, "Great shirt, great album," you know? Uh... You're like, "Don't worry; I confirmed that it is good." "I confirmed. I double-checked the facts." Dude, seeing someone in that T-shirt and being like, "One sec," pulling up the review. - "It's a good shirt." - "It's a good shirt." But it was the experience of, um... This is like, I didn't have this exact experience, 'cause I actually think it's a good thing, but I saw... I saw through the eyes of someone who sees a bunch of teenagers wearing, like, Nirvana Nevermind shirts and goes, "You didn't frickin' listen to Nirvana!" Like, I – that crossed my mind, - or like an AC/DC shirt or something. - Yeah. Um, I had my first flash of that, and I had to suppress it. There's so many layers of reasons why that gatekeeping doesn't make sense. Ultimately, it's just not productive. I do the same thing; don't get me wrong. But there is... The biggest... uh, devaluer of gatekeeping - is it doesn't matter. - Yeah. 'Cause it's... the response when somebody's like, "Hey, I bet you never even listened to Skynyrd," and then they're like, "Well, no, look at my Spotify history. I do actually listen to them." You're actually allowed to not listen to them and wear the shirt. - That's completely fine. - Mm. Just like I don't like... I don't know, man. You can, uh... I'm trying to think of a comparison. I mean... You can wear merch that you found secondhand from Goodwill for, like... You can get a letterman jacket from Goodwill from a school you didn't go to. There's not, like, rules. Also middle school, and these things are things that stuck with me, is I was like a little skater kid. I listened to Fall Out Boy. Big surprise. - And I remember if I would wear, like... - They said, "See you later, kid"? like an Almost Skateboards T-shirt or like an Element T-shirt or something like that, there were certain kids who were also skaters who would call me poser, and I almost felt the need to go, "No, I'll do a kickflip right now!" There's a skill level required. Yeah. I'm like, "No, don't worry! I'll do an ollie! Give me a board! I'll do it!" "I'm not a poser, I swear!" I know. I was like, "How the hell do I get into it, then?" I could skateboard. I was terrible at it, but I did it, and most of the people I hung out with would skate. I'm like, "OK, so... Did you all just genetically be friends and know how to do this? Who's supposed to encourage me - to do this?" - I know. That's the thing. Who's it for? Who's this gatekeeping – of anything... I think it's... - It elevates, I guess, you yourself. - It's the identity – yeah. It's like Star Wars fans and stuff. It's like when you place so much of your – When you have such a strong connection to something... - The Force. - (laughs) And you, uh – - The midi-chlorians. And you... - (laughing) Yeah, I forgot. And you, uh, see someone else, you trick your brain into thinking it's a zero-sum game. Where if someone else can have that, then that means it devalues your connection to it. - So you need to preserve – - You give it this economy - that doesn't exist. - Yeah, you need to preserve your connection to it by putting down someone else's. 'Cause then if it is arbitrary, that means that thing you care so much about is arbitrary, and then there's some shame to that for some reason? Don't get me wrong. Genuinely, I had this little biting moment where... I... I love Larian Studios. I was very excited about Baldur's Gate. And I picked it up, and then... Same thing happened with Elden Ring, actually, where I'm like... "It's MY little" – and, like, Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 are considered, like, some of the most important games ever made. The Dark Souls series - and all the expansions are huge. - When I went back, I was like... Uh, like Baldur's Gate was... It, like, defined a genre. What is it, the Infinity Engine - genre of classic RPGs? - CRPGs, yeah. Yeah. Um, and I remember seeing the box in stores, when I was a kid, for Baldur's Gate. I don't think I was smart enough to play. - Yeah, it was like a tome. - I was like, "Oh, goodness. Jesus." - "Do I need to learn a second language?" - Yeah. And then I only ever played the action RPG, um, Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance. Good game. Remake bad. - Not remake, but reboot. - Oh, no. Oh, OK. I don't know. Who cares? Who cares about anything? No one cares about me. Haha! - Say you do. - I was thinking about – I don't. - Uh... - Huh. - Cut that. - (chuckles) I was thinking about looking into some of the older Baldur's Gates. Arcanum is really good. It's not D&D universe, but if you like Baldur's Gates... I know. Like, either I wanna play Divinity, or I wanna go back and play the 2001, like... 'Cause I heard there's like a 2013, like... not remaster, but like... modernization of it? I just bought it yesterday. It's on GOG for like $2. - [JARVIS] OK, well... - And it's on Switch. Which I was thinking about more, 'cause I might be more encouraged to play it. - Wait a second. - Yeah. - Hold the phone. - OK. - Put the phone down. Pick it back up. - All right. - I think I'm in. - Hello? - (both laughing) - I think I'm down. - Oh, it's Minsc. - How do you – (laughs) And he's like, "I... I have a, um..." - "The bacon narwhal..." - "My hamster is so strong." Dude, wait, Jacob, can I... I'm gonna AirDrop you an image real quick, 'cause it's all the rage right now, apparently. Um, shoutout to all the people who... have left us supportive comments or sent us really nice messages. Uh, my executive function is at an all-time low right now, so I can't always respond. - It's really – but it is very lovely. - Yeah. I do read them. I just want Jarvis in advance to know that this was the first image that came up on the GOG page, - and it almost made me not buy it. - OK. (Jarvis laughing) [JORDAN] It's fucking Minsc, dude. That's so funny. All right. Hey, man. I don't know if anybody would even push back, frankly, on my criticism of Minsc. If I said something bad about Astarion or Karlach or something, people would be pissed, but... I'm just not even gonna do the Stonelord quest. - (laughing) I hate him. - Yeah. I think, um... - He has a lot, though, in the old... - Yeah. the older games. So I think maybe – maybe you'll warm up to him. Maybe if he doesn't have his fucking gimmick with him. - (Jarvis laughing) - Some stupid hamster. Going, "Um, le trolled much?" It was different back in 2001. - Yeah, 4chan humor was better. - Yeah. More of a hit. I've been getting – Oh, god, dude. I'm getting so many YouTube Shorts of 4chan greentext posts. - [JARVIS] Oh, weird. - Where it's like, uh, uh, Counter-Strike surfing - or, like, Subway Surfers footage. - Yeah. And then the, like, "Be me. - Be at work at GameStop," those ones? - Oh. - And they're just all lies. - Yeah. And the Reddit post ones as well. I feel like this would work perfectly if I... hadn't lived. (laughs) Like, if you are 14 or something, or very insular, maybe. But they're all, like... - so obviously fake. - Right. Are people buying into it like wrestling, where, "We know it's fake, but let's just pretend"? 'Cause all the stories are – It's literally... "And that guy was Albert Einstein"-level kinda stuff. One of them was just, uh, "Be me. Be working with a girl. Absolute dime." You know, never says what the job is; never says anything. "Walk home together every day. Next day, after doing it for a year, next day, other woman – not a dime, four – comes up to me and says that I've been making her uncomfortable. What the hell? I didn't even do anything." And I'm like, OK, this is either fake and you're just trying to farm attention for MRA bullshit, - or you're leaving out you being creepy. - Right. Yeah, like, "For some reason, just... - Out of nowhere." - By definition, you probably are not – I feel like the people who are creepy do not have the self-awareness about it. There's a great show I've been trying not to watch too much of, 'cause it can be depressing, depending on who's on it. But there's a show called – or YouTube series called Financial Audit. - [JARVIS] Ah. - With a guy called Caleb. Highly recommend. It's fun, interesting, and educational if you don't know much about personal finance. It's... and oh, god, I wish it existed when I first moved to the US and I could not conceive of what a credit score was for, like any of its weird nuance. There is, uh... Dude, some of those stories are... people are clearly – I watched one in particular where a guy was like, at multiple different jobs. They're going through his expenses, like, "You gotta stop ordering Uber Eats." "Come on, work on this." They're like, "How much are you bringing in?" They're like, "What about after taxes?" They're like, "How much is taxes?" Like, "The money you get sent." He's like, "Well, I get it every two weeks." Like, "Right, just answer the question, though." And then he goes, "Oh, it's this much," and it was a good wage for where he lived. He was somewhere in the Midwest, and it was like $71k? And it was from restaurant manager jobs, two different jobs. And in both cases he was like, "Well, yeah, sometimes I tend to move restaurants a lot, change my jobs a lot, 'cause at every restaurant I want, all the people I work with start conspiring. They just don't like me. They just wanna get me fired - for no reason." - (suspicious) Oh. Like, what are you talking about, man? If you went to court, that would be enough. They could – like, that many witnesses, or like... "Everybody everywhere is conspiring against me specifically." "Why does everybody smell like shitty pants that I'm wearing?" - "Why do people keep pissing in my bed?" - Um, I fell asleep – When you said "shit," it just reminded me of this. You know the dagger in Baldur's Gate 3 - that's called the Poo-Scraper? - Yeah. There's a YouTube video called, like, "Can you..." "Can you beat it using only the Poo-Scraper?" And it's, first of all, so funny. Second of all, it's like this guy slowly realizing he can create, um, what are they called, Battle Masters or whatever and, like, bind the Poo-Scraper to them, - and then throw the Poo-Scraper – - Oh, the Arcane Knight, yeah. Throw the Poo-Scraper, pick it up with another character... 'Cause he's basically doing it, no character can have a weapon except for the Poo-Scraper, and you only have one in the game. So then his entire party is sharing the Poo-Scraper. Throwing it and picking it up, or... No, throwing it and then having it bound so it comes back, and then sending it to the next party member. So fucking funny. I fell asleep watching it last night. I'll finish it after this. - Poo-Scraper nap. - Um... OK, so we've got two – So we wanna talk about the Willy Wonka thing. - Uh... - Which, yeah, people are probably somewhat familiar with, but it keeps evolving. I know Danny made a video about it. I know people have made videos about it. I actually wanna learn about it. I think it'd be funny to talk about. So, to start... Um, I haven't watched people's videos about it, so I only know vaguely that there was an event... There was a Willy Wonka event in Scotland. In Glasgow. And it used a lot of AI art - and AI-generated text to advertise it. - Yeah. And in practice, the event was nothing as advertised. Everything was super cheap-looking. The photos from it are extremely depressing. And there was like a random stand-up comedian who was hired to be Willy Wonka. A character called something like "The Fury" or "The Secret" or something that hid behind a mirror and jumped out at people for the whole show. This is actually a whimsically awful event that maybe would be one of the tests for the kids, like Mike Teevee dies in this part, or whatever. Wait, here's the advertising. "Indulge in a chocolate fantasy like never before. Capture the enchantment." God, even the text is AI. That's so unconvincing. - This is awful. - This is terrible, and just non-descriptive. This doesn't tell me anything. These posters, they're all very obviously, like – They look like Deep Dream. It's not even like modern AI. It looks very unsettling and poorly put together. Check the first one, the poster. So, the tags and things happening are, "Catgating..." - "Live perfor" – - "Catgacating." "Catgacating." - Huh? - "Live performances." - "Cartchy tuns." - "Cartchy tuns." I mean, I guess these are references or whatever, but it's just funny to have "live performances," a regular thing that does exist. "A pasadise of sweet," and then a letter that is T and R at the same time. - "Of sweet teats." - "Sweet teats." Wait, why would they have...? But... "Encherining entertainment!" Is the suggestion that, like, or is the conclusion that this is AI, - the text is AI? - This is Galarian Mr. Mime. Oh. Oh my god, that is! That's Mr. Rime, dude! That's – that's fucking a Pokémon, dude. - Is this Palworld? - What's going on? Also, that's not Willy Wonka. - In the middle, that's just a clown. - No, dude. That's Billy Bonka. He's not a clown! - This doesn't – he's not a circus guy. - You didn't read the books. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Glass Elevator, he becomes one. - Hermione was Black, actually. - (laughing) Yeah. "She was whatever will make you leave me alone and stop yelling at me online." [JACOB] So people paid, I think it was the equivalent of $45, - and they turned up, and this was bad. - £5? Oh, this is – this looks like... This looks like visitation. Can you go back? Why, um... are the chairs upholstered? - Like, of all the things, - Ewww! - why are they like that? - God, how would we describe – It looks like an airplane hangar with a... Sorry; there's this, um... You know the uncanny valley, right? - Like when a face doesn't look right? - Yeah. This has the same effect on me as when you see, like, a single baby shoe in the wild, - or a tipped-over wheelchair. - This genuinely looks AI-generated. - Yeah, the images don't look convincing. - Yeah. Can you go back? You ever see a mattress outdoors? - You're like, "What happened?" - Yeah. This looks like... a train station that doesn't have train tracks - on either side of it. - Yeah, dude. This looks like... like the devil's trying to trick you into thinking you went to heaven. - Oh, that's insane. Wait. - [JACOB] The photo op moment? - Why in the – look at the left part. - Oh, that's a... - That's a troll. - What's going on there? It's duplicated on the left and on the right. Why does it end? Um... - We could do better than this today. - They probably, like, put a camera on it and they were like, "Oh," - "Oh, no." - "It's too wide." You can see the white on either side, 'cause they don't have the right focal length of the lens. So, what is – when was this? 'Cause the movie's came out - like 3 months ago? - [JACOB] This was a couple weeks ago. - Why? - I just don't – so... Do we know who made this and why? Is this a big prank, or were they genuinely trying to scam people? [JACOB] So, this was one of the live performances. <i>[WONKA] ...scary face! Stare at the great Unknown!</i> <i>[CHILD] What is that?!</i> (Jordan laughing) Wait, wait, hang on, pause. The – (laughing) The imagery they've chosen to place around, right? Is – OK, big lollipop, sure. This singular lollipop is the "baby shoes, never worn." - That is threatening. - Yeah. It looks like it's trying to hypnotize me. But... What's with all the pipes? - It's very industrial. - Yeah. [JACOB] Well, I think it's supposed to be like the candy room in Wonka, where there's like the chocolate pipes. - Ah, the famous Willy's pipes. - Willy's plumbing. What's more wonderful than infrastructure? I know. It's Infrastructure Week. (laughing) That's... But I don't know, man. This actually feels a little bit like when you see AI art, and it's a bunch of people espousing, "Oh my god, now anybody can draw." And then you look at it as a human and you go, "This is trash." Like, "This obviously is not good to look at." Why... There must be a part of the event... I mean, hey, it's easy to throw a bad event, I guess. Whatever. But there has to be a stage at some point in setup where you go, "Oh, no. We can't. We can't do this. We... We have to do something more than - putting up a bunch of obstacles." - It has the imagination of someone who only knows - how to type in prompts to AI. - Yeah. Like, they just go, "Oh, the... The walls, the ground, all of the set pieces, they will just happen, right? 'Cause when I hit 'submit' to the AI, it generates all the middle parts." Yeah, it's like the first time you, like, make anything. Like, first time you make a video, first time you edit something, first time you try writing, it's like... "Well, I know what it's supposed to be at the end. - But this doesn't..." - Right. Or, like, even... like, early on when... you know, you start working at a office kind of environment for the first time, you just don't think about all of the bits in the middle. You think, "Yeah, we all work together, and then the product gets shipped," or "We all work together, and something launches." As opposed to, like, "Oh, I need to set reminders to follow up with people, because I know one of them's going on vacation, and that might get in the way of the rhythm," and "We should meet at noon instead of 4:00, 'cause everyone's always tired." All that boring stuff in the middle is not fun to imagine, so the parts like, "Hey, we should get, like, chairs that aren't stainable. Like, that's nasty, and we should have them." A bouncy castle in the corner of a warehouse - is serial killer energy. - Yeah, "Do we have props?" "Oh, we've got one poster and a lollipop." This has "free candy" van energy, - the whole place. - Yeah. Also, it's like they, uh, only know about Willy Wonka from anecdotes. They're like, "Oh, a pipe? Willy's big pipe." (laughs) "His famous huge pipe." Look, search "Willy's big pipe." - [JARVIS] Nope. Don't do that. - Or "pipe's big willy." [JARVIS] Don't do that. Let's look at the rainbow. [JACOB] Yeah, and all the backgrounds are just cheap light stands with, like, this... - A serial killer's tarp. - [JACOB] Like, landscaping fabric? - Yeah. - Dude, that's what Dexter puts up. Literally was gonna say, this is what Dexter puts on before he kills you. I, honestly, $45, what is that, it's like £38? £36? Not worth. You can get a, uh... Think of how many times you could buy Baldur's Gate. - <i>Paid £45, the ticket for this.</i> - Sorry; I know this isn't important, and not even – Go back like five seconds. <i>I'm not joking, no.</i> This guy appears! He was... - (both laughing) - He teleported. [JACOB] What if he's the organizer of the event? - That's Willy. - That's Wonka. Wonky. - <i>Paid £45, the ticket for this.</i> - "Paid £45, the ticket for this." <i>In a bit, we have to pay for that food over there.</i> Oh my god, that bar. <i>These are like, um...</i> <i>Like photo booths, they are.</i> - (Jordan giggling) - <i>What a waste of money.</i> God, that's rough. Oh? OK, so an Oompa Loompa... too tall, by the way – is giving – [JACOB] Each child gets one jellybean and a quarter-cup of lemonade. (Jordan cackling; Jacob laughing softly) You can't even give them a full cup?! Why?! - One jellybean for $45? - Dude... - The most insulting amount of jellybeans. - Did they not – Did they just not buy enough lemonade? 'Cause the margins they're saving on lemonade, - that can't be worth it. - They got a singular bag of jellybeans, - and they're like, "This'll cover it!" - Yeah! It's open. - I mean, literally – - Pause! One person's ticket would cover every single glass of lemonade you'd need. The fact that they are... Like, it looks like he's getting a shot, - the way they give him that jellybean. - Oh, yeah. It's like, "All right, hold out your hand. Here comes the jellybean!" "Good boy! Here's a sticker! You did it." Wait, pause? Wait, go back to exactly that frame. Why is there math on the back? - "Willy's favorite..." - Like, y = log x²? - Cosine – - [JACOB] Oh, it's like sciencey, like... - [JACOB] Like this is Wonka's lab? - Have you guys even seen the movie? I mean... That's his famous chocolate math! - Oh, and Wonka's big pipe right there. - Yeah, - in between the big long pipe. - [JACOB] Logarithmic equation. - Yeah. - In between his huge orange pipe. That's the third book. (laughing) Look at the dad back there, dude. That is a trooper of a dad. Weaving inside the pipe, like, to try and make fun? "Yay!" "Aw, look! I'm going through the pipe!" I mean, hey, don't get me wrong. I think if I was a little kid, - I could have fun with this. - No, dude, kids don't know - how things are supposed to be yet. - (laughing) Yeah, they're – [JACOB] They don't know how much their parents spent on this. - Oh, god. - <i>Wonka's chocolates are delicious!</i> <i>We have a camera here.</i> - <i>We need to film your reaction.</i> - That is not a camera. These seem – Can I just say, these props... They don't seem like... - default, from a warehouse. - No, they do seem custom. Which... which costs so much money. They look like someone designed something in Blender, and then like... - paid to have it made out of plaster. - Yeah, "Just do all of those," and then "Oh, shit, we spent the budget." - "What about a big tarp of a window?" - "All right, nobody use a wide-angle lens." Do you remember this scene from Willy Wonka – I think it was in the book, the brick wall with windows? - Yeah, the brick wall with windows. - Willy Wonka's loft apartment! With A/C questionably hanging there. "Charlie! It's you and me, Charlie! We'll float up to the A/C!" Look at the "imagination lab" arc that is not a arc. - It has like a hard angle in the middle. - That's rough, dude. - It looks like a Starfleet logo. - (Jarvis laughing) <i>[WOMAN, OFF-SCREEN] Readyyyyy!</i> <i>[MAN, OFF-SCREEN] Thank you!</i> Aw! - That guy's just doing his job. - I think – Oh, this is embarrassing. Oh, that's crazy. - That's – - Are those peppers? [JACOB] Those were the cups of lemonade. - That is horrible. - Dude, did someone get some of those samples for the lab? Are those piss samples? Like, lemonade? The least appealing thing to sit in a transparent cup in a warm environment. That is, like... not even gonna check. [JACOB] Um, this queen became an icon of... - (both laughing) - [JACOB] of the, uh... Is that a toilet brush? Why does she have a chemistry set? Is that a bottle of Fireball? (laughing) There's so much. This looks AI-generated. - Yeah, this... why – - [JACOB] Yeah. [JACOB] Where is the smoke coming from? - I know! - The smoke is wild! [JACOB] And we will hear from her in a little bit. - OK. - [JACOB] She has some stuff to say about the event. That is what you would look like if you were actually an Oompa Loompa. - (laughs) Yeah, true. - Exhausted, pissed off. Yeah, dude, "I've been worked to the bone." "More footage from the House of Illuminati." - "Kid starts crying" in parentheses. - <i>The Unknown!</i> - <i>[CHILD] No!</i> - That's terrifying. - Is that...? - (laughing) The kid! Is that from Willy Wonka? What is that?! [JACOB] So, according to – [JACOB] I saw a post about this. What they said was this... character is called the Unknown, which is an evil chocolate maker in this universe. This – the Willy Wonka universe? - [JACOB] Yeah. - Is this like a sub-verse? They don't look like they're making chocolate. It looks like they're just fucking spooking you. Well, you know when you're making chocolate; you gotta hide behind a mirror? [JACOB] Uh, people think that the whole script for the Unknown and stuff was also written by AI. - That tracks. - Or... - Dr. Seuss. - [JACOB] Right. [JACOB] So, Paul Connell was the guy who played Wonka, and he – Now, that's a Scottish name. [JACOB] He was one of the first to kind of speak out about this experience - once it started to go viral. - Shoutout, Paul. (Jordan laughing) I do just wanna say that it's none of the people's fault who were working the event. Obviously, they have nothing to do with it. I'm sure this guy's getting weird shit, because he was "one of the faces of it" since he was Wonka, but... I mean, probably also people, like, not – Like, people not understanding how acting works. Like, "Well, Willy Wonka's in charge of this stuff." - "In the movie, he's in charge of it." - "He's in charge of it," yeah. Or like when MrBeast was Wonka, - he was in charge of it. - (laughing) Yeah. - Oh, come on. - Noooo! (Jordan laughing) That's a – that's a short film! Ohhh! That – like, what a professional. - What a consummate pro. - What a – He saw 15 pages of AI gibberish and was like, "I have to do the job." I hope he could at least leverage this a little bit for... Yeah, I hope. I mean, the TikTok went viral. I'm glad at least that, and maybe – I don't know if he already had a presence online, but... I mean, shoutout to Paul Connell, dude. That's saintly. Hey, running a chocolate factory is not easy. Yeah, and this guy did it, and his pipe. (Jacob and Jordan chuckling) Bars. (both laughing) Whose walls?! Everyone's walls?! - "He lives in the walls!" - Of his own house?! Why?! Does he make chocolate in the walls? (Jarvis laughing) (both laughing) No, he's just a bad bloke. He's just a professional that's unpleasant. He's just a mean person. What? Why? Not even Tesco's Finest? That's insane. Yeah, what? You know what it is, dude? I think I know, or I can take a swing at why that is, is that you can't really... present chocolate outside of its packaging. So if they're buying, like, - Cadbury chocolate... - Mmhmm. If you take chocolate out of its packaging, - I'm like, "Where has that been? - Yeah. What's it on? Is it in a bowl?" You've gotta buy a bunch of those - Wonka bars that they used to sell, - Yeah! like buy a bunch of expired chocolate and sell that. - Don't do that, by the way. - I mean, this has to be – I don't know how much that's come out about it. This has to be not a... official event. - Oh, 100%. - It's like a... Well, I don't know – it must be public domain. - It's a fucking million years old, no? - Yeah, I don't know. - 'Cause... - What, is it 100 years for...? Yeah, usually, but sometimes they do weird – You know, you can fight it, like Disney. [JACOB] So, now we can hear from the Unknown. - (chuckling) - In the walls? - Ah! (laughs) - Ah! She got to keep the mask? It is a choice to leave the – Huh?! - (noises of confusion) - [JACOB] Which is the company - that was created for this experience. - This has gotta be a huge troll, right? "The House of Illuminati"? I thought it was called "enrichalumenainment" - or something. What – what's... - True, yeah. Is that just a shell company - of The House of Illuminati? - Yeah. That's insane. One of them? (Scottish accent) "Check inside your walls." (Jacob & Jarvis laughing) Actually, with the mask on, it sounds like she is speaking - from inside a wall. - I don't know why she left the mask on. Maybe it's 'cause she would be recognizable? (Scottish accent) "What's going on, guys? It's just me here (inaudible)..." - "I'm in your walls." - [JACOB] The rest of it, - she doesn't have the mask. - OK, good. "I came out of the walls." Wait. - 1.9 million views. - [JACOB] Yeah. [JACOB] Oh, I guess she did a face reveal. - Oh, OK. - [JACOB] Yeah. Um... [JACOB] But yeah, if you look up Illuminati Entertainment... Your computer turns off. (laughs) - House of Illuminati? - [JACOB] Yeah, House of Illuminati. House? Even that has to be... generated, right? That's just such a obviously bizarre... - Yeah. - House of Illuminati Glasgow. Not even generated, - but it just feels like a troll on – - [JACOB] Yeah. - Whoa! - Oh my god. [JACOB] So, their whole thing is "extraordinary events - and immersive experiences." - I'll say. - True. - [JACOB] Um... Brave of them to leave the website up. I thought maybe they took it down. This is, also, this is AI art from like - the first phase of AI art. - I know, dude. It's so bad. This is weaker than most NFTs. - Yeah. - Check "careers" page, Jacob. OK, it's nothing. There's nothing there. - It's just a... - It's the eye. Oh, I could join the Illuminati? God, even the pictures are bad. "What to expect at Willy Wonka and the Chocolate - Factory Experience," by Admin. - Lemonade. - Jellybean. - Wait, can we click on that? The "What to Expect" on the far right? "What to expect from the far-right?" - Oh my god, the images – - Wait. - So low-res. - Is it not loading, or is it...? - Yeah. - That's crazy. It's just a small image that they have blown up, because they don't know - how to make a website. - [JACOB] This is apparently someone creating one of the set pieces. - That was never used. - Look at the – look at the low – It's – look, go down. - Dark grey text on a navy background. - Like, did the website finish loading, or is there like a CSS error? - Highlight it. - Yeah, could you highlight it? Or just hit, uh, Cmd+A? "Get ready to embark on a journey into a world where dreams taste like chocolate." There will be no chocolate at the event. - "As we approach" – - "Get ready to journey into a world - with some lemonade." - (laughing) "A little bit of lemonade." - "And a few beans!" - "To share." "To share. Everyone gets half a jellybean." "You can go to the cutting station and have your jellybean cut in half!" "Willy's cutting pipe." Uh, "chocolate fountains." "Pictures yourself standing before cascading chocolate fountains, each velvety stream inviting you to dip, indulge, and savor the richness of Willy Wonka's world." But you can't. [JACOB] They had one small tabletop chocolate fountain. - [JACOB] With mini marshmallows. - God, yeah, I guess – Is that really, like, the... the ceiling? "The event comes alive with the whimsical performances of the iconic Oompa Loompas." "These singing companions guide attendees through the immersive wonders of Willy Wonka's world, adding an extra layer of charm to an already magical experience." - It's one Oompa Loompa, right? - [JACOB] It was one Oompa Loompa. - That's so funny. - [JACOB] Very sad. - Hmm. - "An adventure in every bite!" "Beyond the visual and auditory treats, the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory experience promises an adventure in every bite. From sweet delicacies to chocolaty wonders, attendees will have the opportunity to explore and indulge in the many facets of this beloved treat." - This is for sure AI. - Oh, yeah, that double use of "treat"? Yeah. That's crazy. And they have hashtags, for what? Do they know what website this is? It's their own website. Uh, "As we count down to the day" – the apocalypse – when Willy Wonka's world comes to life, - imagine a day filled" – - Comes to a grey warehouse. "When his world, England, comes to life." Uh, "Imagine a day filled with laughter, joy, and the irresistible allure of chocolate." This is erotic. - This is weird. - They mention chocolate so much for an event that has zero chocolate at all. Dude... Willy Wonka didn't talk this much about chocolate. - He had different rooms, one with a TV. - Yeah. - Wow. - That's like one of the rooms he'd have - to deliberately kill a kid. - Wait, hit back, Jacob? Just scroll to the very bottom. Recent comments: "A WordPress commenter: Hello, world." - It's like such a fucking... - That's awesome. - Just "Lorem ipsum." - Yeah, it's – - Yeah, literally, dude. It's like... - That's – - Oh? - Oh, yeah. Their links don't work. It's like – "WordPress Commenter." Wait, what did they say? Can you highlight? "Hi, this is a comment. To get" – Yeah, it's a WordPress... - Awesome. - That's when they set up their WordPress. I mean, it... I just don't even know... People are comparing it to Fyre Fest, and obviously the severity level is different, but it does have a similar kind of surreal, "How are you a real living human being without any foresight," you know? Fyre Fest had contracts with real artists. - Adults. - Yeah, and then fell through, even though it was obviously a scam and stuff. - You know what they didn't have? - Chocolate. - Lemonade. - Oh, that's true. - Jellybean. - No jellybeans at Fyre Fest. Imagine if it was like, "This is our food," instead of that cheese sandwich, it was a single jellybean. Each. (laughs) For each tent. Yeah, each. You get a private tent, and it comes along with its own jellybean. Are there any other videos from people talking about it? - [JACOB] Yes. - Are there any Oompas? There can only be so many people, because it looked like it was a skeleton crew of, like... - Oh, dude. - Of one Oompa Loompa, The Unknown, and a Wonka. I mean, it kinda says a lot that, like, they cheaped out, obviously – I mean, they weren't looking to spend a lot of money, but then they also had just a huge warehouse. Just do it like a pop-up. - Do it in a room this size. - Yeah. You would have a lot less to... - You could fill it. - Yeah. [JACOB] It looks like it was their first event. These were posted - within a couple days. - Yeah. - What's "The Magic of Glasgow"? - I think – The unicorn, actually, I believe - is the magic of Glasgow. - I think it's their last event. Look at that image, dude. Oh, no, it's like a Harry Potter event? "Witchcraft and Wizardry." - "Carefully curated menus - Vodka. that reflect the city's gastronomic diversity." Why do they keep doing food, by the way? - And offering none of it. - If you're a shitty company, Don't make yourself liable for food poisoning. - Don't make that your thing. - They didn't, but they said they would. I don't know which is worse. I guess the risk was light with a single jellybean. [JACOB] So, someone else who spoke out - was the Oompa Loompa. - Oh, yes, queen! What if she does it in rhyme? (both laughing) - Like "Oompa, Loompa" – - I love that she has the photos. (laughing) Second one's awesome, too. God, what a nightmare. (both laughing) That's fine. - Yeah. People made fun of her. - Oh, is that what people were saying? I thought she was just doing a weird face, like... That's sweet. Yeah. - Oh, "vouch." - "Vouch," yeah. That sucks. I think... she is probably getting shittier comments - than the guy. - Than the Willy Wonka, yeah. For... some... and comments about her appearance, for some reason – not, you know, obviously... Obviously it's good-faith criticism, not misogyny. - That's not how this works. - Probably not. Definitely not. Can't be that. Can't be reviewing – It can't – and everyone saying that they don't like the way she looks is hot. - Right. - The people leaving those comments? - Oh, my goodness. Awooga, I'm sure. - For sure. Oh, man. - This is rough. - Yeah. It's so ridiculous to me that she would be getting – I mean, I get it, 'cause the internet's a cruel place. But the... (sighs) - Yeah, that's wild. - I feel like people online don't know how or why things are funny sometimes. Or how things happen. Like, in what universe would you think that she... - (sighs) I don't know. - I mean, there's no legitimate criticism to be made, and any fun ribbing is like... It requires a deft hand, not just 'cause, like... Not, like, "Hey, I don't care if it offends you, Jordan. Don't be so soy." No, I mean, like... It's just not very funny, and it ruins fun bits like this when you have to inject them with some kinda, like, vitriol. - That's like kid mindset, right? Like... - Yeah. "Oh, people are laughing around me. - How can I elicit a reaction? Ahh!" - Mmhmm. There are people – I mean, I've showed them to you. They just do interesting stuff or make weird content, and I enjoy them. And sometimes I'm slightly laughing at, because they're – one of them puts out, like, stand-up stuff or a bunch of different stuff, but sometimes will put out these kinda sets that he's doing at home. And, you know, he has four jackets; they're the same jacket for some reason. Every time he opens a video, he always says, "Hey, what's going on, everybody? Hope you're having a happy," then says the day, and then says, "at least I think it's that day." It's just always exactly the same. And I really enjoy those videos. And I always comment, - and I say something nice. - Yeah. 'Cause I don't... it doesn't matter to me... what the – I don't want to discourage what he's doing, and clearly he enjoys it. And I find it fascinating, and I hope he does it, and I hope he's having a good time. I've never understood the instinct to... It's like, um, if you're having a really nice meal and you're like, "And I'll throw it on the ground!" Like, now you don't get the meal. No one gets it. Why would you do that? I think it speaks to a culture of putting other people down for fun. But, like... where it's like if you could do that and... Like someone might be doing that in private, and it doesn't harm someone, 'cause they're keeping it – Even if it's, like, bad or not moral or whatever, it's in private. But when it's in public, then it just turns into this fucking hate-fest on someone who, like, at the end of the day, didn't do anything wrong, right? It's like an actor working a job and then making the best of a shitty situation. And so why would you be... making fun of – I think it's like anytime someone sees something viral, they project... - success and, like, shit onto them. - Mm, yeah. - That is a part of it. - Where it's like – - "You aren't deserving of this." - "You're in the ivory tower," or whatever, "and I wanna bring you down a peg." It's kinda like that weird, um... proxy war that... people were having with verified Twitter users before Twitter Blue that I didn't even find out about until after Twitter Blue happened. Like, "Yeah, now WE are part of the elite." I'm like, "People care about verification? I didn't know this was happening." - Right, exactly. - And it's like... "Oh, sorry, did you think everybody that was verified is rich and hates you and has yachts and stuff? - Oh, you completely misunderstood." - And now we have yachts, right? Well, we do, 'cause I'm not verified. - So I have a yacht. - Right, but now that I'm verified, I also get a yacht. That's what it was before, 'cause it was all just appearances. - That's the rules. - You buy it for $8. Yeah, give me my half-jellybean. - (laughing) It's a third now. - Where is it? With Bidenomics, dude? Good luck getting any jellybean, seriously. They'll share it for medical care. I just don't think people know how to interface with anything that isn't kind of confrontational. Same reason you can't... just... Nobody can riff on a funny thing on Twitter. It's either a, like, "Erm, this!" or a "Kill yourself!" There's also the misogyny of, regardless of, um... regardless of someone's appearance... like, a lot of dudes online feel the need to comment on it. - Like, even if it's positive. - Like it's... "Um, but she's super hot. Is she single?" Or like, "Um, busted. Uh, bad-looking. Don't like it. - My peen isn't getting excited, so..." - "My pipe is getting nothing from this." - "I'm getting nothing. Not for me!" - You're like, "OK." - "Damn. I guess I did a bad job." - Yeah, "Is this for you?" It's like... It's so weird to look at something that's not for you and treat it as if everything that comes across your eyes - is for you. - Yeah. And the world centers around you, and now you have to react to it, as if... your little servant was presenting you with, uh, something to... Like, "Ah, for you, sire." - And then you go, "This isn't for me!" - "I won't approve!" "You need to learn - to do better." - "Be hotter for me! That's all I want." "And I am hot, by the way. - "And I paid $8." - Yeah. I mean, part of this genuinely is just, like... yeah, very transparent old-school no-frills misogyny, and unnecessary hate online, etc. But I think there's also just, like... I don't think you know how to interact with people. I think there's a – they've got a really stratified understanding of community. They don't know what it's like to... to encourage without, like... expecting some kind of karmic payoff - from encouraging something, - Mmhmm. like, "I'll be mean to this person so I can screenshot it, put it in my little Discord groupchat, and then - get social kudos for doing that." - Right. Everything has a stratagem to it, 'cause - otherwise what do I get? - "If I dunk on them, - everyone's gonna like it." - "I win." "And everything that happened for them, I get." Yeah, creating like a dopamine economy for dunking on someone, too, is like... - Yeah, "dopamine economy" is perfect. - Yeah. It's so weird, 'cause that's what they're trying to do, because... they clearly want other people's validation. That's why they say it out loud. - Like, "Am I right, fellas?" - "Anyone? Haha?" Yeah, "Anyone? Can I get a few likes? Oh, edit. Update. - Wow, this has so many likes!" - "I'm gonna kill you!" Yeah. "Edit: thank you for the gold, kind stranger!" I guess it's fortunate she does look - so different than those photos. - Yeah, I was like, I think... 'Cause the guy, I think, would be very recognizably him. - 'Cause he didn't have a wig or anything. - This isn't like, um... - This isn't going on IMDb, you know? - Yeah. Yeah, these are just journeymen, dude. This is work. Yeah, hopefully these things can just, uh... Hopefully these, like, don't follow those people around. I don't think it has, especially if she's not gonna engage with it. - I don't think it has the juice. - Yeah. What the people that are being aggressive want is that... attention. This is not exactly a fresh insight. We know this, but... I think her explicitly being not a social media person makes it a very un-fun target for those psychos. Yeah, exactly. And... 'Cause if you aren't... You know, the cynical part of me is like, "There's gonna be someone going, 'Um, that's what you signed up for!'" "By existing in society!" - (laughs) "By doing your job!" - "By doing your job!" - "I'm actually very happy." - "You're a actor. You wanna be rich and famous, and now that you finally have lots of eyeballs, you're complaining?" "Oh, I see. You have a goal and focus in life? - Well, that's robbed me of having one." - Yeah, it's true. "I'm miserable all the time, and I think it's because of women." - "It's you specifically." - "'Cause I also don't like them." - Yeah. - "Maybe 'cause of what they did." - [JACOB] And then the – - God, "the Unknown," is it? - [JACOB] Yeah. - My god. Terrifying. - [JACOB] Yeah, it's scary. - The Pokémon. [JACOB] But she did a interview with Vulture, um, a few days ago, and told them that none of the actors have gotten paid for this. - Oh my god. - Well, that's unsurprising. - [JACOB] They're not paying them. - And I can't imagine the rate was great. - It was probably in crypto. - Yeah. It was probably in a new Willy coin. It was in Jellybean.io. Pipe bugs. [JACOB] But yeah, people are having a crazy time with this. [JACOB] Apparently, someone's planning on making a movie out of it. - OK, relax. - [JACOB] A horror movie. [JACOB] Basically based on the story of the Unknown. - Come on. - Wait, a fiction?! I thought, like – - I thought, like, a docu-fiction. - [JACOB] No, like a film, yeah. - Oh, come on. - That feels like – That feels like it would be profited by the people who put the event on. - I know. - Who created the Unknown with AI. [JACOB] Which is a theory that some people have, is like, "Oh, was this just for something like that all along?" Dude, the Unknown is the only thing - that is their property. - [JACOB] Right, yeah. I mean, it's very generic. They didn't manufacture that mask. I'm sure they bought it at like a fucking Halloween Depot. - [JACOB] Right. - I mean, to be fair, really, the truth is, and we've... not specifically for Sad Boyz or whatever, but we've all.. You know, you and me have been in e-mail chains with people together and independently when, especially after moving to LA, where a project comes up or an idea comes up and it's like, - "We gotta meet about that." - Mmhmm. And then a couple e-mails get sent back and forth, one person's representation talks to another. It's like, "Let's meet up. Café, lunch today." And you meet up, don't talk about the project, and it dies. Like, that happens. Or, "Hey, dude, Fyre Fest really just kicked off. I'm thinking, what about like an A24 horror movie... - set in Fyre Fest?" - Yeah. - These things just don't happen. - That type of thing already – This happened very recently. - You haven't developed anything. You... - Yeah. Your development is the concept of, "What if we did a movie about the Unknown?" - And then now – - It's an AI way of reacting to an event. Yeah, where it's like, "That's not going anywhere. Let's be real." And, like... - That's not what people liked about it! - This doesn't have the... It almost feels like it's testing the waters. "Would you guys be into that?" No one's gonna fucking remember the Unknown in six months. It's like the Madame Web issue, honestly, where they're like, "You guys" – "OK, so Spider-Man movies made a bunch of money. There's a character called Madame Web in Spider-Man. So we'll make Madame Web." - "OK? Who is Madame Web?" - "'Cause spiders is what people like." But like if Avatar was really popular and they were like, "OK, we're gonna make a rom-com, and everyone's blue." - "Oh." - "What people liked was the blue part." "Yes. Yeah, the Na'vi." "No Na'vi. - They are just – it's a blue guy." - "Oh, OK. It's called... - ♪ I'm Blue." ♪ - "Da-boo." - "Da-Boo-Di, Da-Boo-Love-Me." - (laughing) Oh, dude, we should make a movie. It is as, like, much as... makes as much sense as us being like, "OK, - people like how we sit weird sometimes." - OK, yeah. What about a... like, a documentary, or an album? - We could make like a – - Like a horror movie about manspreading. - [JORDAN] That's this show, dude. - I'm in contact with A24. [JACOB] Apparently – I don't know how real this is or where to find it, but apparently someone... - Oh. - Yes! - I saw – - That's funny. - Skill Up posted a video today – - It looks better, is the issue. Uh, find the Animal Crossing one. The Animal Crossing one is really good. It's... (both laughing) - They even got one of the Unknown. - That's awesome. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, there's the Unknown one. - Where is it? - At the bottom right. (both laughing) - It just looks like Gray Fox. - What the hell? - This I like, 'cause it's with affection. - Yeah. - The joke is... - It's fun and it's cute. - Yeah, it's a meme. - I feel like the people in it could laugh at this as well. This is not like "I hate you and you're ugly." "Yeah, look, it's you, but you're a little... little person." (laughs) - The Sims one is really accurate. - Yeah. The Sims – because Animal Crossing, by default, is very vibrant, whereas The Sims is a little bit more desaturated. Yeah, they really gave it the hollowness. They lived in the walls. "But is it all a hoax?" What do you mean? - Who is this? - [JACOB] Basically, the theory is... So they were hired over e-mail. They didn't meet anyone. Who physically set it up? [JACOB] Like, the people behind the company are anonymous. [JACOB] And no one knows anything, like, they've done before. They're the... the Unknown. [JACOB] And clearly the actors didn't have a lot of interaction with them, 'cause they were hired the day before. - Yeah, they didn't get to rehearse. - [JACOB] Yeah. Not that I think it would matter, you know. There's only so much you can polish a turd, but this is, like... very odd. It sucks when people get, like... when they have to... taint these with a bunch of conflict online or whatever, not that it ruins it, but it is a... a little bit of a bummer, 'cause can't we just have nice things? I don't know. It's pretty funny that there was, like... one jellybean per kid. - [JACOB] Right. - All right, well that was a nice stroll through the wonderful - "encharnting" world of... - Willy's pipe? - uh, Wonky Willy or whatever. - Willy's wonky pipe. Willy's wonky pipe and bean. (laughing) "Bean." Beans and lemons. - When life gives you lemon... - Make a small amount of lemonade. When life gives you a quarter of a lemon. Maybe the Unknown stole the chocolate; that's why they only had lemonade. That would make the most sense, yeah. I mean, that's famously what they do. - They evilly take choc – ? - From the walls, yeah. - They bring it back to the walls. - (laughs) "Evil chocolate maker." - Yeah. - I guess, yeah... It's a good question, yeah, "Is it evil chocolate?" But I feel like the evil version of a chocolate maker is just like a thief. - Somebody that takes chocolate. - Yeah. - Or lactose-intolerant. - It's like the Plankton to Willy Wonka's SpongeBob, you know? (laughing) Yeah. I mean, yeah, Isn't that literally a character in Willy Wonka? There's that, like... one character that's skulking around, like, "I'm gonna get the... the... his math." - Yeah, "I'm gonna do the math." - That big wall of formulas. - Um... - GG, everyone. Thanks. Well, this is the end for now. Just kidding. We're heading on over to Patreon.com/SadBoyz to do our Patreon-exclusive episode of Sad Boyz: Nightz, - of which there is 50+ episodes now. - You seem pissed off. Uh, there's 50 frickin' episodes of hours and hours and hours of content. We're just gonna chill. We're gonna lie back. We're gonna vibe. We're gonna have a good old time. Patreon.com/SadBoyz. And for the low, low price of $5, you get all the 50+ hours of content. If, hey... If you're in the mood, come on over. If you're not in the mood, what are you, scared? - I am, most of the time. - I'm pretty scared. Really just of everything, kind of... You know, like I don't wanna play baseball, 'cause "what if I miss my swing" kinda mindset. "What if I become too famous?" - Yeah, dude. What if I... - I don't wanna go to the gym, 'cause what if I become too shredded? I don't wanna get yelled at online for, uh... (laughing) Dude, I would love to go to an event like that. - Yeah. - That's my 2020 – 24. - All right – your 202024? - I'm gonna wait a while. Yeah, OK. We end every episode of Sad Boyz - with a particular phrase: - We. Love. You. And. We're. Wonkaaaaa! Sorry. Boom. - Whoa! - Whoa, that's us, man. [JACOB] Welcome to the Sad Boyz citizenship test. - Oh, shit. - All right. - [JACOB] You have nine questions each. - [BOTH] OK. [JACOB] What are each of the four grades of high school (9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th) commonly called? I know 11 and 12th is junior and senior. That never made sense to me. I always thought - the first one should be junior. - That would make sense. I know the second one is, um, sophomore? Like a sophomore album. - [JORDAN] What's the first one? - What would you call the first album? Ah. 9th grade? The debut. (outro music)

Channel: Sad Boyz

Views: 86,645

Keywords: SadBoyz, Sad Boyz, SadBoys, Sad Boys

Id: iP9NYp2BQAU

Length: 100min 43sec (6043 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 09 2024