Now I want you to open the Word of God this
evening, to the fifth chapter of Paul's letter to the Ephesians and those of you who have
been with us on Sunday nights know we've been looking at this chapter in light of our series
on the Holy Spirit and with particular interest in looking at being filled with the Holy Spirit
in verse 18. Following verse 18 are all the effects of
being filled with the Spirit or under the Spirit's control. And we started into that and went down essentially
as far as verse 20 and we're going to pick it up and go all the way into the sixth chapter
as we begin a series on the divine standard for marriage and the family. We're going to be talking about husbands,
wives, parents, children, all the way down to verse 4 of chapter 6. And there's a subsequent passage about employers
and employees under the biblical term of slave and master. So, over the next few weeks, with a little
bit of a break as we have the Shepherds Conference and don't have a Sunday evening service, this
is going to be our theme. Now, I'd like to make a sort of initial suggestion
that this discussion of marriage and the family has its most significant application to people
who are married. Okay? Some of you don't qualify and you need to
get married. So my opening word is, if you're not married,
get married. This is the grace of life. This is God's best gift. If you haven't found someone willing to marry
you, ramp up the intensity of your effort. Get married. And if you are married, have children. This is God's wonderful gift. Now there are some people who have a gift
for singleness that means a spiritual--unique spiritual capacity to remain single for the
purpose of serving the Lord. Unless you have that gift and it's clearly
defined for you, by no desire at all for marriage, then you need to be married. I don't need to remind in biblical times people
were married by the time they were fifteen or sixteen, some of you are way overdue. Get married. Many of you are focused on pursuing a career,
pursue a spouse. This is a very good place to find one because
we have a huge number of single people who need to be married...they need to be married,
for every reason that you can think of, but mostly for the reason that this is a gift
of God called the grace of life. I'm not sure why in this particular Christian
culture in which we live that we are prone to follow the habits of the world and remain
single for long periods of time, but that is a worldly kind of life, taking people who
should be married and having them try to survive as single people when they are wired, hard
wired and even given the opportunity by God to be married. Stop waiting for the Messiah, ladies. He came and went. Settle for somebody less. And, men, stop looking for the Proverbs 31
woman. That is an ideal to which women aspire. And the truth of the matter is, find another
Holy Spirit-led, loving Christian and get married. Now on that basis, you can listen to what
I'm going to say because if you're not married, you're going to be getting married. And if you're married and you haven't had
children and the Lord enables you, you're going to be having children, so this is all
very urgent for you. I'm asking you to do something very foundational
and you laugh because it sounds humorous. But there's so much truth in that that we
have a society of people who way over exaggerate singleness, who way over extend singleness
and make it very difficult on themselves and develop habits of singleness that make it
harder to come together with another person because the groove keeps getting deeper and
deeper out of which you have to get yourself and to walk together with someone in unity
and love. Your singleness should be as short as possible. Marriage as quickly as possible. And once you've picked the right one, engagement
as brief as possible. And all of this, of course, is against the
grain of our culture. I've been around long enough to know that
people used to get married in their late teens and early twenties. That was the norm. And now the society perpetuates singleness
out of its own selfish preoccupations and it's fraught with all kinds of things, not
the least of which is immoral behavior. And we are living in time when way too many
people are single and single because they are selfish and because either no one can
live with them in their selfishness or they're not willing to give someone else the opportunity
to intrude into their agenda. We are watching the death of marriage. And you could say while we're watching the
death of marriage because of divorce and you would be right. Or you could say we're watching the death
of marriage because of homosexuality and you would be right. And we're watching the death of true marriage
because we're watching the rise of homo-sexual marriage, and you would be right. You could say we're watching the death of
the family because of sterilization, abortion. But we're also watching the death of the family
because of an over-extended, preoccupation with selfish desires and personal agendas
that push people into some perpetual singleness. I suppose if I had my way I would just line
up all the single girls on one side and all the single guys on the other said and say,
"Pick one and let's have a wedding." But I'm not a matchmaker. I can only give you a general perspective
that it gets harder and harder for some people the longer they perpetuate their singleness,
to give themselves to another person. Now there are exceptions to that. The Lord may keep a person for many of years...many
years into their thirties and later because there is a person that God has designed for
them. But for a general trend, when you reach the
age for marriage, then you need to ask the Lord to make you the kind of person you should
be so that you'll recognize the one that the Lord draws into your path. We have a disastrous matter in our culture
and that is the destruction of the family and people running around alone or divorced
or in abusive relationships and the family is being lost to us. And all of these are presented as if they
are alternate life styles that have as much merit as marriage and the family. But God has designed that through well-ordered
families, righteousness would be passed from one generation to the next. There's no way for the world to fix these
problems, they aid and abet these problems. The world is fine with divorce. Divorce, no-fault divorce, any time for any
reason, the world is fine with homosexuality, they advocate it. The world champion single isolated kind of
self-centeredness and serial kinds of partners, all of this the world aids and abets and the
church must rise up and stand for the wonder and the beauty and the joy and the fulfillment
of marriage and the purity of marriage. It is such a noble union that it pictures
the union between Christ and His church. We're going to look at marriage here in Ephesians
chapter 5 together over a few Sunday nights, as I said. But beginning this little series, we draw
our attention to chapter 5 verse 18 because here is the foundation. "Be filled with the Spirit." Be being kept with the Holy Spirit. We've already talked about that. We know what that means, it means to be under
the control of the Holy Spirit, to be moved along by the Holy Spirit. It's not a glass-filled, because that's a
static kind of filling. It's a sail filled because that's in motion
and that's this kind of filling. Be born along, moved along, carried along
by the Holy Spirit. That is essential to Christian living. And then we see what Spirit-filled people
do. They speak to one another in Psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs. In other words, they worship. Spirit-filled people worship. Verse 20, they give thanks. Their lives are marked by thankfulness. And then in verse 21, and this is what triggers
the rest of the section, they submit...they submit. You could break these things down singing
is a personal expression of joy for what's going on in one's own life by the working
of the Holy Spirit, "saying thanks" is directed at God and "submitting" is directed at others. So, self is involved in the Spirit-filled
life and out of one's own heart comes praise. And thanks is involved in a Spirit-filled
life directed toward God and submission, verse 21. And I want you to notice that because it's
a very important spiritual concept, "Be subject, or submissive, to one another in the fear
of Christ." In other words, if you reverence Christ, if
you are in awe of Christ, if you desire to honor and please Him, then be a submissive
person...a submissive person. As general characteristic, we are to be submissive. Spirit-filled people are submissive. That is to say, they are not dominating, they
are not proud, they are not self-willed. They do not live by their own agenda which
is, of course, the way people in our culture and our society today live. We have sown the seeds of a self-esteem psychology
and we have reaped a harvest of pride, overwhelming pride, personal pride, self-glorification,
self-will, domination of the environment by one's own person and plans. But Spirit-filled people are submissive by
the work of the Holy Spirit. The word here for "subject," or "submit" is
hupotasso , it's a Greek verb, hupotasso, it's compounded. It means... tasso means to arrange, to place
in order, and hupo is under. It's a military term, it means to place yourself
under, to rank yourself under. That's what it means in the military sense. It is to rank yourself under those in authority
over you, under those who have responsibility for you, to be under someone. As a general principle as Christians, we are
to live lives of submission. This is so clearly the general principle of
Christian living that it is referred to many times in particular in the New Testament. But perhaps as clear a section as there is
Philippians 2. In Philippians 2 we read in verse 1, we'll
just pick it up at verse 1, "If there's any encouragement in Christ, any consolation of
love, any fellowship of the Spirit, any affection and compassion--talking about mutually among
believers--make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love,
loving everybody the same, thinking the same things, united in Spirit, intent on one purpose." How in the world can you do that? How can you get along so completely with others? "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal
interest, but also for the interest of others." That is the soul of submission. It is humility. It is being unselfish, having no conceit but
with humility of mind, considering others as more important than yourselves. Not looking out for your own interests, but
the interests of others. That is a spiritual grace that is produced
by the Holy Spirit. If there is any fellowship of the Spirit,
any real fellowship of the Spirit, this then will appear. And--by the way--the greatest illustration
of this is Christ Himself. You are to have this attitude of humble submission
in yourselves, verse 5, which was also in Christ Jesus who although He existed in the
form of God didn't regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, held onto, but emptied
Himself, taking the form of a slave and being made in the likeness of man, found in appearance
as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross." This is what it means to be submissive, to
be humble, to look not on your own things but the things of others. That broad command is also repeated in 1 Corinthians
16:16, "You also be in subjection to such men and to everyone who helps in the work
and labors." In other words, the Apostle Paul instructs
the Corinthians as a matter of life to submit themselves to all who labor in the work of
the Kingdom. Be submissive is a general way of life. In Hebrews 13:17 we are commanded to be submissive
to those who are over us in the Lord, those who watch for our souls, those who must give
an account for us to God. Obey your leaders, it says, and submit to
them. First Peter 2 and verse 13 says, "Submit to
the authority of the government," whatever institution there is. First Peter 5:5, "Submit to the elders and
pastors." So this attitude of submission just as pervasive
in Christian living. And a Spirit-filled person will be humbly
submissive. I really think this is the grace that most
women are looking for in a man. You say, "Wait a minute, aren't men supposed
to be the authority in a relationship?" Yes, but it is a submissive kind of authority,
and we're going to talk about that. I think most women are looking for a humble
man, selfless man, a man who is not preoccupied with his own agenda and his own needs and
his own expression and his own will, and his own plans. And I know most men are looking for the same
in a woman, humbly submissive. And that submission can be seen in the grace
of humility and in the way we respond to one another who serve the Lord as well as to those
who are over us in the Lord. It is this submissive attitude that makes
a marriage work. I don't have any question about the fact that
I'm supposed to be the head of Patricia, my wife. She doesn't have any restraints placed upon
her by that, that in and of itself are abusive or harsh, because I understand that while
I have authority over her given to me from God, I am also commanded to be submissive
to her in every area of her needs. Sometimes when people say to me, "What's the
key to a good marriage? What's the key to a marriage full of joy and
blessing?" And I'll tell you what it is in a very simple
sentence. And this is my objective in dealing with the
wife that I adore; it is simply this, "Whatever will bring her joy and be to her benefit,
I will submit to do, happily, because all I want is her joy and spiritual benefit." It's that simple. It's not complicated. It's not brain surgery. Do I always achieve that end? Ask her, she will tell you no. But do I always desire to achieve that end? Of course. I submit to her joy, to her fulfillment, to
what blesses her and encourages her and exercise my leadership in that way. The same would be true as a father. Do I have authority over my children? Yes. Am I responsible to God for the leadership
of my children? Yes. But because I love my children, whatever would
be to their joy and their fulfillment and their happiness, and their spiritual benefit,
I can't do it fast enough. So this is a kind of submission that is really
pervasive through all relationships whether you have the role of being the head or not. This is foundational to everything. Everybody submits at some level. We all submit to each other. We all submit to the elders. We all submit to the government. As wives, you submit to your husbands. As husbands, there's a way in which you submit
to your wives. Children submit to parents, but parents also
submit to children. It's mutual. There is a kind of submission, a spiritual
care that characterizes all of us in all our relationships. I think about it as a pastor, I've been given
a responsibility over you in the Lord. What does that mean? Does that mean I conduct myself like Jim Jones
and we all end up drinking the Kool Aid? No. What it means is, I'm accountable before God,
I have to give an account, Hebrews 13:17. I have to give an account to God for my care
for you and my authority over you must take respect for your particular and unique needs. It is a kind of authority that has at its
heart care which means compassion and submission to the things that are needful in your life. Now this doesn't mean we don't have leaders. We do. They are responsible to lead but with an attitude
of submission. You understand? That's how it functions and how it operates. So we're going to talk about each of these
relationships from the perspective that it's all a kind of submission. It's all a kind of submission. Everybody's in the pecking order, even leaders,
you know, you follow the leaders who are your pastors, but we follow Christ. Everybody's in the order of God's design. A wife follows the lead of her husband. But her husband is under the authority of
the elders of the church and they're under the authority of Christ. And so it goes. All of us submit to one another. And this is a beautiful kind of thing, just
in the experience of believers alone. And I am convinced that this is the evidence
of the work of the Holy Spirit in a very remarkable way. The most, I guess the most important spiritual
attribute that believers have in the assembly of God in the church is humility because apart
from humility, we would have chaos, we would have absolute chaos. And when I look at our church and I see the
loving unity among the leaders and the pastors and the elders and the congregation, I see
that submission working in our congregation. It's a wonderful thing to see. All right, having established that overarching
principle of submission, let's look at chapter 5 and start with the wives...we're going to
start with the wives. And yes, we will get to the husbands, but
I want to start where the text starts and here we read in verse 22, let me read you
what the original says, "Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord." Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord. Did you notice the word "be subject" is in
italics? That's because it isn't in the original. It isn't in the original. It doesn't say, first of all, obey your husbands. It's not that kind of a relationship. It has already established mutual submission
and then it gives you the first illustration. "Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord." This is the first illustration of submission,
the relationship that a wife has to her husband. But it doesn't say obey your husband because
this relationship is more intimate, more inward and that is, I think, indicated here by the
personal pronoun, "Wives to your own husbands." Not to every man, not to any man, but to your
own husbands. This has nothing to do with the spiritual
inferiority, nothing at all to do with spiritual inferiority, there is no inferiority among
believers between men and women...none at all. Paul says in Galatians 3:28, "In Christ there
is neither male nor female." Neither male nor female. We're not talking about spiritual things here,
we're simply talking about divinely established categories of responsibility. And God is even fabricated us to fit those
categories. For the sake of fulfilling God's design, the
woman is commanded to be subject to her own husband as unto the Lord. Nobody would argue that a woman needs to be
submissive to the Lord. We confess Jesus as Lord when we come to Christ. Well it's a kind of relationship we have to
our husband that is also like that. He is Lord in a very real sense, and we're
going to see that in just a moment. Now I told you that the word submitting is
not in verse 22, but just to be fair about that, in Colossians 3:18 you have a parallel
verse and the word "submission" is there, "Wives, be subject to your husbands." And the reason it's there is because there's
not a parallel to verse 21, there's no comment about submission at all, so it has to be introduced
in verse 18 which is why they put it in over here in the book of Ephesians. Be submissive or subject to your husbands
and then Colossians 3:18, it says, "As is fitting in the Lord." In Ephesians it says "as to the Lord." In Colossians it says, "As is fitting to the
Lord." Aneko , a word that means seemly, appropriate,
correct, the right thing. It could even mean legally binding, that's
a usage that we find in the Greek Old Testament. It is fitting. It is not a cultural issue. It is not a transient issue. It is not a temporary issue. A woman is to be submissive to her husband
because it is fitting, it is appropriate, it is correct, it is legally binding, it suits
the created order of God. The headship of man is tied to man's physicality. He is stronger. He is more aggressive. He is constitutionally designed by God to
work for, to protect, to provide for, to secure his wife who is identified in Scripture as
the weaker vessel, not weaker spiritually, not weaker intellectually, not weaker morally,
but weaker in general constitution. God designed men to be the breadwinners, the
workers, the protectors, the providers, the security for their wives. And that is obvious to anybody with an open
mind. It is obligatory then and it is connected
to divine design for a woman to be submissive to her husband. To expand on that a little bit, and I said
I was going to do this and I will. Turn to 1 Peter 3...1 Peter 3. This is such a rich portion of Scripture and
I know many of you are familiar with it but we need to look at it because it says essentially
the same thing. Verse 1 of 1 Peter 3, "In the same way, you
wives be submissive to your husbands." In the same way as what? In the same way as sheep are submissive to
the leadership of the Great Shepherd. That's how chapter 2 ends. In the same way that you submit to the Great
Shepherd, so wives...and again that's what Paul said in Ephesians, as to the Lord, it's
the parallel, "Be submissive to your own husbands." There again is the personal pronoun. Not all men, not everybody's husband, but
yours. And by the way, the word "submissive" is the
same word, hupotasso , to rank yourself under. And in this case, you do it even with an unbelieving
husband because this is the divine plan, so that if even if any of them are disobedient
to the Word, they may be won without a Word by the behavior of their wives as they observe
your pure and respectful behavior. You want to evangelize your unconverted husband? Be submissive...be submissive. Your adornment, it's not about external things,
braiding, or plaiting the hair which was some kind of weaving it with gold in it, a very
fancy thing, wearing gold jewelry, putting on dresses. Look, that's not wrong to do that. God has called us to make the most out of
our fallenness. And there's a beauty in adornment, we see
that in the Song of Solomon. But your adornment must not be merely external. In fact, that's not going to do it with your
husband. You're going to win your husband another way. Verse 4, "Let it be the hidden person of the
heart. The imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet
spirit which is precious in the sight of God." You don't want to adorn yourself with perishable
things. You want to adorn yourself with imperishable
things. You don't want to adorn yourself only on the
outside...yes on the outside, but not only on the outside but on the inside. You want your beauty not just to be seen by
your husband but you want your beauty to be seen by God. This is the true beauty and it has great value. It is this kind of beauty that can win your
husband. It has always been the standard. Verse 5, "In this way in former times, the
holy women also who hoped in God used to adorn themselves from the inside, being submissive
to their own husbands." This is unmistakable. This is unmistakable. Any effort to overthrow this is an attack
on God and on the divine order, which, of course, is what Feminism in all of its elements
is, an outright attack on God. Holy women have always done this. Holy women, women who hoped in God, this means
redeemed women, this is how they've always adorned themselves by being submissive to
their husband. Illustration: Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling
him lord. Now don't get carried away, men. Please. But you have become her children if you do
what is right without being frightened by any fear. You shouldn't be afraid to submit to your
husband. It takes all the terror out of the relationship
because it brings peace to the relationship. And by this quiet, gentle spirit, you can
win an unconverted husband. This is God's design. Now I want to show you another portion of
Scripture, this one may also be familiar to you. First Corinthians chapter 11, 1 Corinthians
chapter 11 and this is a very interesting portion of Scripture. I'm not going to dig down into it, I've covered
it, you can read the notes in the Study Bible and it covers the details of it. You can read the commentary on 1 Corinthians
and it's even more detailed there. But I just want you to get a sense of what
this passage says, so let me read, starting in verse 3, "I want you to understand that
Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of a woman." And I want to just stop there and say, head
is a very important term, kephale in the Greek, kephale . There are people who say, Feminists who say
that that doesn't mean authority, it does not mean authority. It means origin, they say, or source. That it's going back to creation and saying
that since woman was taken out of the side of man, man is the source of woman. Listen, Wayne Grudem did a study of the word
kephale in the history of the Greek language. And every time it doesn't speak of a specific
task, like the head waiter, every time it is used in terms of relationship, it always
means authority...always. It never means anything else, certainly not
origin. So, Christ is the head of every man and the
man is the head of the woman and God is the head of Christ. God exercises His rule over Christ in His
humiliation and incarnation. Christ exercises His authority and rule over
us and men the same over women. And then he goes in to illustrating this,
"Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head." Apparently in that culture women wore covering
on their head as a sign of their submission. That's been true for centuries in ancient
times and some places even today. In the Arab world women are still covered
as a sign of their submission. So for a man to put on something that covered
his head would be to disgrace his head because in that culture, women did that, men didn't
do that. They didn't put a scarf on their head the
way women have done. You know, the Jews got this a little bit confused
and you have men today that wear a little cap on their heads because of a misinterpretation
of Old Testament Scripture. On the other hand, every woman who has her
head uncovered, and there were two kinds of women in ancient times that did that, protesting
women and prostituting women, Feminists and harlots, they had a Feminist Movement back
in Corinth, when women uncover their heads, that is equally wrong and some in the church
must have been doing it. They were uncovering their heads while praying
or speaking and it disgraced them to do that. It would just be like someone with a shaved
head. And we know from history that women who were
Feminists shaved their heads as a protest. "If a woman doesn't cover her head, let her
also have her hair cut off. But it is disgraceful for a woman to have
her hair cut off, or her head shaved, let her cover her head." In other words, the ultimate disgrace would
be to shave your head, but it's also a disgrace to take the covering off in that society,
so leave the covering on. And he goes on to talk about that further. Verse 11, we can pick it up there...well;
verse 10, The woman has a symbol of authority on her head and because of the angels? Yes, the angels want to see the woman in submission
because that's God's design and they want God's will done. In the Lord, neither is woman independent
of man, nor is man independent of a woman. In other words, there's a mutual relationship
that they share. There's that mutual submission. But there is nonetheless the authority. The woman originates from the man, the man
has his birth through the woman and all things originate from God. While there is mutuality and God is over all,
and while we have authority over the woman, we come from a woman, which speaks of our
mutuality. Nonetheless the man is the head of the woman
as Christ is the head of the man and God is the head of Christ. That's enough out of that passage, as I said,
if you want a lot more detail, there's more to be found in other sources. Now I want you to look at Titus because I
want to give you the complete picture. Titus chapter 2, this is an emphatic statement
that will broaden a little bit our understanding of what it means to submit to the man, or
the husband. A very relevant passage. In Titus chapter 2, Titus is giving instruction
on relationships in the church. He talks about older men, older women, younger
men, younger women, and that's the theme in this second chapter. Talks about slaves and how they submit to
their masters. So it's about those relationships, very much
like Colossians and Ephesians. But notice in verse 3, "Older women are to
be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching
what is good." Okay, now women are to teach. They're to teach what is good. And just exactly what does that refer to? It refers to encouraging the young women,
the next generation, to love their husbands...to love their children, to be sensible, pure...and
then this, "Workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands." And what's at stake? "So that the Word of God will not be dishonored." A generation of so-called Christian women
who take a Feminist approach and reject the calling of God to be subject to their own
husbands and to love their children and be keepers at home, undermine the Word of God. They undermine the Scripture. They say to the world, "Not all of it matters. And if not all of it matters, then you can
pick and choose what to reject, and the Word of God is undermined." Now let's just pick out a couple of things
here, out of all of this. Older women, mature women, godly women, reverent
women are to encourage young women to love their husbands, philandros , husband lovers,
encourage them to be husband lovers, to love their husbands and to be children lovers,
philoteknos and philondros, husband lovers, children lovers, one word in the Greek...one
word. And then beyond that, to be subject to their
own husbands. Here the word is an interesting word, to be
really submissive in the sense that you line up under again. It's not, some of the translations say obedient,
but it's not hupakouo which means to be obedient, it's to rank yourself under. So whether you're talking about Ephesians,
Colossians, 1 Peter, Titus, you're going to get the same verb. The term is translated in Ephesians as submit
as we saw in verse 21 in a general sense. So the pattern here is that young women are
to be husband lovers and children lovers. And the instruction is that which is consistent
with God's design for women to the degree that in 1 Timothy 5 Paul says if there are
young widows, tell them to get married and fulfill this God-ordained and God-blessed
privilege. Then also, you can't leave this out, they
are to be workers at home...workers at home. What does that mean? That means what it says, workers at home,
home workers. God must have written that for our day when
millions and millions and millions of women are working mothers outside the home. Millions of them have young children. In fact, the statistics of the number of women
who work outside the home and have children under three is staggering, it's something
like a third of all mothers with children under three work outside the home. You wonder why there are delinquents? This is a very fascinating term, workers at
home, oikourgos from ergo , to work; and oikos, home, work at home. Your task is at home. A woman's task, a woman's work, a woman's
employment, a woman's calling is to be at home. I mentioned 1 Timothy 5 and I think it's verse
14, "I want younger widows," of course implied here, but it touches then all women, "to get
married, younger women, get married," that's where I got my introduction. Get married! Bear children! You hate this, Keep house! That's what it says. Get married, bear children, keep house and
give the enemy no cause, no occasion for reproach. A married woman is in a safer place, a more
spiritually beneficial place, a more protected place. She must care for her husband; it's a more
selfless place. And she must care for her children and it's
again more selfless. This isn't hard to figure out. This is a divine principle. Abandoning children to work outside the home
is a violation of Scripture. You say, "Well my kids aren't home while I'm
at work." That's not the point. That doesn't change the obligation because
they went to school. It's the home that you prepare when they aren't
there that makes the home a home. If you arrive when they arrive and leave when
they leave, it's unlikely that the home will be the kind of home the children need. Working women contribute to lost children,
delinquent children, children who have lack of proper understanding of God-ordained roles
in the home, terrible decline, drugs. We don't even talk about the working woman
phenomenon of adultery and divorce. And for a woman to be the bread winner...you
say, "Well our house payment requires two jobs, we both have to work." Then get another house and have a family. In fact, for men, 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If
anyone...meaning a man...doesn't provide for his own, especially for those of his household,
he's denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." The point is the man is the provider and the
protector and the security and the woman is there to care for the children and the home. Working outside removes her from under her
husband and puts her under other men to whom she is forced to submit. And I'm just talking in very specific terms,
as specific as Scripture, no more, no less. And I know in your mind you're wondering,
"Well what about this? And what about that? And what about this?" Is there any room for doing something part-time,
serving in a ministry? Of course, of course. When you read Proverbs 31 you know that that
lady had all kinds of things going but the home was the base, the center and the focus
of all of it. She'd go a long way to get food cheaper. She worked hard with her hands to make garments
and things for her family, and also to provide for other people who had need. She was so enterprising she bought a field;
she was doing real estate on the side. But it was all about the home and from the
home and for the home. And this is the standard that God has ordained. We're a long way from it, aren't we? Speaking of the Proverbs 31 woman, we can't
do this without at least looking at that passage for just a moment. "An excellent wife," verse 10, "who can find? For her worth is far above jewels." And what is the first thing that makes her
valuable? You can trust her. You can trust her with your money, you can
trust her with your children, you can trust her with your possessions...listen...you can
trust her with your reputation. You can trust in her purity, you can trust
in her character. The heart of her husband trusts in her. She'll have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days
of her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with
her hands in delight. She's like merchant ships; she brings her
food from afar. I don't think they had coupons in those days,
but if they had, she would have had a little bag of those. And she'd go wherever she needed to to get
the best price. She rises also while it is still night to
prepare food for her household, portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it from her
earnings plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and her arms
are strong. She senses that her gain is good and her lamp
doesn't go out at night. She gets up before day break and she goes
to bed after the sun has gone down, and it's all for the family. She stretches out her hand to the distaff,"
that's weaving thread. Her hands grasp the spindle, she has to make
her own cloth. She extends her generous hand to the poor,
stretches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of the snow for her household,
for all her family are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself and her clothing
is fine linen and purple. Yes, she adorns herself in a beautiful way
and even with her children. Her husband is known in the gates and he's
known as her husband when he sits among the elders of the land." She makes linen garments and sells them, supplies
belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing. She smiles at the future. Why? She's prepared for it. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching
of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household
and doesn't eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her. Her husband also and he praises her saying,
'Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all." That's what everyone would want in a marriage,
right? Children who rise up and call you blessed,
a husband who praises you. Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord, she should
be praised. Give her the product of her hands and let
her works praise her in the gates. Enterprising, clever, energetic, compassionate,
kind, works well with her hands, artistic, all those things are true of her. But the home is the focus of all of it. This is God's design for women who are intended
to be married and who are married. So that is the matter of submission. Now the manner of submission. That is the matter of submission. Now the manner of submission as...back to
Ephesians 5:22...as to the Lord...as to the Lord. Your husband stands to you in the place of
Christ. Do you remember that the Scripture says very
simply that when you receive another believer, you receive Jesus Christ, Matthew 18? When another believer comes to you, you receive
Christ in that believer. That is particularly true of a husband. The husband is Christ to a wife in a sense,
a kind of a delegated authority. That's why Sarah called Abraham Lord because
God had delegated to Abraham authority. Your husband stands in the marriage and in
the family in the place of Christ. That's the highest point of reference. That is the manner of submission. How would you submit to Christ, that's how
you would submit to your husband because he is in that union, that Christian marriage,
as Christ to you. What about the motive for submission? The manner as to the Lord. The motive is in the next verse, "For the
husband is the head of the wife." For the husband is the head of the wife. That's simply the illustration from the human
anatomy. The head controls the body. The body submits to the head. Or you have uncontrollable behavior. When the body can't pick up the signals from
the brain, you know what results, disability...malfunction. And the home where the body, meaning the wife,
does not submit to the head is chaotic. But this is how it is in the Fall, according
to Genesis 3:16, the woman fights against that authority, remember that? She wants to lord it over her husband. And he fights to suppress that and that's
the conflict in a fallen relationship. That is overcome in Christ because now the
woman sees her husband as the delegated authority in her life, delegated by Christ Himself. And she submits to him as head. Then there's harmony, then there's order. And there's beauty in the relationship. So that's the motive, because you are the
body and he is the head. What about the model? The model of this submission is given then
in verse 23, as Christ is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the
body. And as the church is subject to Christ, so
also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. A wife is to be submissive to her husband,
following the model of the church's submission to Christ. I really don't think any Christian would argue
that the church is to submit to Christ. Anybody want to argue that? You read through the Feminist literature that
wants to overturn all of this, and you won't find anybody, any evangelical, saying, "Well,
the church doesn't have to submit to Christ at all." Well then if the church is to submit to Christ,
then the wife is to submit to her husband because that's what it uses as the analogy,
the model. What kind of leadership does Christ give the
church? Loving leadership, loving direction, protection,
safety, security, strength, provision. And the church loves Him for all that He is
and all that He provides. He goes so far as to say he is the savior
of the body, the church. The church submits itself to Him because He's
the Savior. He's not the head in a dictatorial sense. He's not the head in a domineering sense. He's the head in a delivering sense, a rescuing
sense, a protective sense. He's the Savior and that's the model that
the husband and the wife must see. The wife submits to her husband not in the
sense that he's a dictator, not in the sense that he's domineering, not in the sense that
he's authoritarian, but in the sense that he is the protector, the provider, the preserver,
the Savior. I'll save you from want...the husband says. I'll save you from need. I'll save you from danger. I'll save you from illness. I'll save you from disaster. I'm here to be your rescuer, your protector,
your preserver, your savior. So the Apostle Paul is saying that the wife
must recognize that in the husband's capacity as head, he is closely united to her in one
flesh and he is deeply concerned about her needs, her relationship to him is as a believer's
relationship to Christ. She views him as her spiritual guardian, her
spiritual protector, her source of safety and blessing and provision. To extend it even more, Jesus is our Savior
because He sacrificed Himself for us, right? And a woman should look at her husband and
see one who would make any sacrifice for her well-being. That is what women are looking for and that
is what men must offer. So, wives ought to be subject to their husbands
in everything. It is inclusive, only their husbands and exclusive,
all that their husbands do to care for them and to protect them. What if I have an unsaved husband? First Peter 3, same thing, "And you can win
him in the grace of God by your chaste and pure behavior. Now all of this goes back to the principle
of chapter 5 verse 18 where we started, right? You say, "How can a husband be all that?" Be being...what?...filled with the Spirit. How can a wife be all that? By being filled with the Spirit. This is what overthrows the curse. Now, I know we've only talked about the wives
and I think we're probably going to spend at least two weeks on the husbands cause we
need it. Father, we thank You for our time tonight,
it's been just a wonderful day, all through. And we're grateful for the provision You make
for us that we call the bread of life because You called it that. We thank You for Your Word, it feeds our souls,
it lifts us to heaven, pulls us out of the world, refreshes us. I do pray for this congregation. I pray for the people who are already married,
already have children, that they may walk in the power of the spirit, be Spirit-filled
and live this way as You've designed marriage and the family so that they can enjoy it to
the max. I pray for the single people to find a partner
and get married, have children and experience this pure grace of life. Bring people together for that soon that they
may experience this wonderful blessing. And help us all to be obedient, not worrying
so much the other, but being sure that we are the one that we should be, walking obediently
in the power of the Holy Spirit, as we submit to the Word of God. Make us true and pure in our worship. May our love for Christ dominate us and then
we'll do what the Spirit would have us do. Thank You for healthy families in our church. Thank You for blessings on marriages. Thank You for what You're going to continue
do in the future in Christ's name. Amen. Amen.
