The Ultimate Asphyxiation Simulator

oh man this brings back memories memories of dying over and over and over so for those of you who don't know what FTL is it's basically a roguelike where you're flying a ship and trying to beat a boss at the end pretty simple hard mode easily daring today what are you doing in the ship HMS negative oxygen oh we're not gonna have a lot of oxygen in this [ __ ] when we're done probably not a lot of people either rename you as why did we get someone with a drone as their first thing this is brutal okay this was the first fight of the game and we took half our health no it's a lot of damage Steve a teleporter hello there instead of actually fighting him how about no oxygen how does that sound [ __ ] this [ __ ] I'm out I don't think so uh their last Act was to teleport some dude over here now we just get to beat this guy to death distress call probably lose someone I'm almost gonna restart oh I'm spending all of our money level two Shields they have a missile launcher which is probably gonna hit us at least once foreign oh God giant alien spiders giant alien spiders are no joke I mean I'm gonna side with the fugitive another one mantis are great they are absolutely lovely your world all of a sudden changes the Mantis are on board I [ __ ] hate mantises so much they have a drone that shoots down lasers that's gonna make this ten times harder okay I claim this vessel for my clan good luck okay let's try to open this putt another one damn that star is pretty lit dude no frick all right NG controlled or civilian sector we're going NG Angie you're nice people I say as this happens do I want another mantis you know what [ __ ] it okay I take it back we're not fighting this energy ship we need to have all three of our shots Land once that's a pretty good one make them the soy Jack and you the chat I'm literally drawing the picture right now Pike beam is really nice Sultans are also pretty good but I need to fix my ship please miss please God Miss and we got an NG another one try to improve my reactor for two minutes yes incredibly yes oh teleporter so now we can teleport onto other people's ships which is beautiful and amazing oh you want to escape oh you want to surrender what creative option options you have here unfortunately all of them lead to you dying oh yeah we have Kirby the NG that's probably a good enough name boy hello there if we're maybe unfortunate if I had two mantises who were going to beat the [ __ ] out of you yoink it's very worth it to board as opposed to just killing them I mean we want to kill them but we want to kill them in our own way oh hold on Angie crewmate I thought sending the NG member would oh oh dude Goblin just walked in there strode into a virus of people and he's like guys shut the [ __ ] up you're all overreacting and they're like okay God what do I even do with you he's just so good at everything I think I'm just gonna put him on doors oh I want to see how fast my man repairs stuff look at the speed he repairs it faster than both of our mantis combined a complete scan leaves a simple mold as the only life present tell them just stop any life is valuable but our livelihood depends on his job who cares about some silly mold the man they leave at once we can't be the baddies we just saved mold I don't care for many kinds of life but mold I I'm not a monster okay buddy you just dropped into the wrong spot where are they guys I'm trying to kill you here can you like make it a little easier for me another one Intruders on board you guys really made a mistake coming here okay maybe they didn't make quite the mistake I thought they did okay you want you want to board me go ahead go ahead nope nope nope I don't think so easiest game of my life home to the telepathic slugs they'd sell their own slime for a crate of scrap mind control Ah that's fine I don't actually want to do anything that one looks horrifying and they've got like six missiles This is Gonna Hurt really really badly anybody else on the ship oh I'm just gonna Camp them there we go spawn Camp them at their teleporter purchase an unknown weapon for 45 scrap I think I'm just gonna kill you hi there I have not been paying attention to my whole whatsoever I'm gonna be honest not content with tormenting people in the room world oh no space is where all the the real organ harvesting happens wait are they not powering on their missile wait I think they just don't have their missile on oh oh [ __ ] here we go again we don't have cloaking I don't know how we're gonna win so the rebel Flagship is an absolute monster of a ship it has a triple rocket launcher a triple ion cannon a triple laser and a like a super laser there's a very specific way to cheese this fight and I'm gonna do it see that's why I need cloaking because they have cloaking I can board these guys and kill them I can board these guys and kill them the problem lies and then I can't fight this triple rocket launcher and I need a way to take out their Med Bay but I believe they have a level 3 Med Bay which is what makes it so incredibly awful all right [ __ ] it we got to do something that I didn't want to have to do which is actually use our weapons nope uh uh it hurts so much at least we have HP that's something oh God damn it I'm in pain I'm in pain a great deal of pain delectable human suffering oh [ __ ] no no they're on fire we're done just ended thank you I'm gonna do one more game I'm gonna do the NG Cruiser this this one is one of my favorites because it's very silly we have no Rockets no actual weapons can we even do any damage I don't think we could do any damage actually because they have an anti-drone ship this is the first enemy of the game I can't even anyway my game crashed all right come here wait it's another one nope that was really wild that the game crashed a second time oh I'm sorry oh this is not gonna go well please disable this thank God I literally had to disable my Shields my engines my oxygen this is the society we live in then did I miss a death no no The Game just crashed basically this is the I don't feel like playing the game right now so I'm just gonna AFK caulking I don't have enough money surely Chad that if I pass up on cloaking now on the first shop of the entire game that I'm gonna find it again by the end of the game right I need to buy this that is a long-term investment oh oh look I love video games guys foreign again all right all right I'm selling the Pegasus no that was actually part of the plan now I get to use this Pike beam that I was gonna use the whole time and I can do really silly things with this Pike beam like cut across the entire ship Jesus is that like a mark eight trillion or something oh my God this is the worst fight I've ever seen it's so bad nothing's happening something I could do if I was an absolute sadist is I would go full ion and then I would just eye on people's oxygens to death because if I just continuously Rift their oxygen over and over and over and over again I mean they would all die guys I you know I'm feeling a little bit of game instability here I think the you know test my luck but I think the game May crash come on give me a chance please all right Oxygen's not needed right now right nobody wants oxygen it's dumb it's stupid I'm gonna get to everywhere troll recovery arm oh my God Vulcan we got the two best things we could possibly get in the game it's everything my ship ever needed and more okay that's especially bad as long as nothing is burning down on the ship we should be okay and I need to go over to one damage huh one damage huh you know playing FTL reminded me of something the Majesty of space the coolness of lasers and most importantly that you should follow me on Twitch or else

Channel: Anti-Kleaper

Views: 121,590

Keywords: the grim kleaper, anti-kleaper, the_grim_kleaper, twitch, stream highlights, stream, moments, faster than light, ftl, rimworld

Id: g3VkRxtXZbg

Length: 10min 0sec (600 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 11 2023