The truth about anxiety | Mel Robbins

when you first start using the five-second rule most people use it to get to the gym to make sales calls to get up on time to have tough conversations to do the physical stuff yeah but the real mojo is to use it to rewire your mindset okay and so if you're somebody that suffers from anxiety first of all here's what you need to know it's not a disease period it's not a disease there are people that suffer from acute anxiety disorder they should seek professional help there's incredible medication that works I'm talking to the people that suffer from more general anxiety that people feel in their day-to-day lives or that are brought on by a specific situation I'm also speaking from specific personal experience and the fact that we know of hundreds of thousands of people who've actually cured their anxiety because of what I teach so here's what you need to understand anxiety always begins with a worry always it begins with a thought that is triggered by something so if you suffer from anxiety you wake up in the morning and your mind spins you lay in bed at night and your mind spins you walk into work and you feel anxious in your body I want you to write down all the things that trigger you to feel anxious interestingly another major trigger is being home or going home and that moment right before your partner walks in the door if you feel anxious when your partner's about to walk in or you're about to walk into your own home that is a major signal that you're in the wrong relationship that there is something incredibly off and you either need to get into counseling but that is one that we hear a lot about because you're walking into a situation that feels uncertain yeah a lot of people by the way had parents that were abusive or parents that were Yeller so they also are experiencing ghosts from the childhood of it's five o'clock dad's about to come home and pour a drink and everybody's on edge yeah so write down the triggers okay because have having kind of the triggers ahead of time will help you come up with a plan for how you're going to catch yourself when your mind defaults to the automatic ways that it thinks then what I want you to write down next to the trigger is what exactly are you worried about so having the trigger and then that what do I worry about I worry that my boss is gonna yell I worry that my partner's gonna yell I worried that I'm gonna get in trouble I worry that you know my friends are gonna laugh at me I worry that I'm gonna be a whatever the maybe then what you're gonna do is you're gonna write down what I call an anchor thought an anchor thought is something that weighs you down and it makes you excited and so here's how the strategy works with the five-second rule the next time you're in a situation and let's just use the example of pulling into your own driveway or your own apartment and maybe you've got issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend or your roommate and that makes you unsettled through the second you pull in and you feel the trigger you're gonna go 5 4 3 2 1 because I want to interrupt your mind from going into the I don't like what everything and then you're gonna drop in the anchor thought of the last time that you and your roommate really got along well or the last time that you stood up for yourself and it went fine your puppy yeah or a puppy or whatever you're gonna say I'm so excited to deal with this yeah and then you're going to get out of your car even though your body is gonna feel a little unsettled and your mind is gonna race go 5 4 3 2 1 if you start to like be like but whatever then and then walk in the door and what I'm teaching you to do is to not let your mind hijack you and it's very important because there's a very tight nexus between your habit of worrying and spiraling your thoughts and the way your body starts to amp up and so we want to settle your mind so we don't agitate your body you got it yeah and so if you start to practice that over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and for you eighteen year olds that are watching this use this with the nerves that you have about what you're going to do with your life use this when you catch yourself worrying about college applications because worrying about the applications won't get them done worrying about what your friends are doing won't make it happen worrying about what you're gonna be doing when you're 25 or how you're gonna make money it's not gonna help you make money right now it's only gonna make you miserable so 5 4 3 2 1 cut off that habit yeah that'll stabilize your body and then go to a vision of you at the age of 25 driving a car that you think is cool and hanging out with a friend that's cool and saying yourself I'm so excited because I know I'm gonna figure it out because you don't need to worry about that right now yeah but it becomes a habit that destroys your year this year you

Channel: Mel Robbins

Views: 286,919

Rating: 4.9322305 out of 5

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Id: wIENw9sobHg

Length: 5min 16sec (316 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 24 2018