The True Cost of the American Dream | Silvia Ramos | TEDxWinstonSalemWomen

[Music] for the past 32 years I've lived in a profoundly elaborate paradox you see I speak as an undocumented and documented immigrant as well as a citizen of this nation because all those perspectives shaped my experience in this country my journey includes moments where I felt deeply despised and moments where I felt long-lasting gratitude for the opportunity to learn to fight injustice and in doing so created meaningful and loving communities having said that I think it's time that we talk about creating real pathways to citizenship to do so we must be willing to look at the true cost of the American dream the true costs are often unexplored and simply dismissed as having to pay your dues to enjoy the rights and privileges afforded to American citizens one of the problems with that view of the American dream is that it perpetuates an inhumane and a one-dimensional approach to understanding the immigration experience it creates a falsehood that says all you have to do is stand in line and wait your turn when the reality is not that simple you must first pay a hefty price to get in line economically socially psychologically while you're in that line you must learn how to access the things you need to survive housing education jobs you must be prepared to endure significant discrimination while you're in that line but you must always contribute to the communities even when they don't see the best in you you must prove almost daily that you're not a criminal despite the fact that the only crime you committed was seeking a better life for your family some people may occasionally see you as an actual human being but remember those are not the people that make the rules for moving up in line you may get sent to another line but don't ask questions because remember you don't have rights and when it is all over all you must feel and express is tremendous joy and gratitude for the long and taxing journey because after all they've now accepted you in accept kind of because you're still a woman of color in America one of the problems with that simplified view of the American Dream is that it also fails to recognize that none of us choose where we are born the governments we are born into and the circumstances that often force people to face the risky choice of migration persecution political turmoil and poverty have long been some of the reasons that people migrated and even though those are the same reasons that immigrants from Europe chose to come here and eventually call this country the United States of America when we people that look like me made the same decisions we became illegals I wonder why the colonists were called settlers but people that look like me were illegals I don't expect everyone to share the perspective that I have I just ask that whatever perspective you do hold it should be one that is examined and informed both here and here don't get me wrong I believe that societies need rules in order to function but in the words of dr. Martin Luther King law and order must exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in that they become dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress so I ask you if we can say confidently that we've examined immigration laws and they're not just unnecessary dams that block the flow of social progress one of the problems with that simplified view is that American citizens have been convinced that creating real pathways to citizenship are heavily shaped by abstract and necessarily bjur pratik processes which have come to define immigration policy in the u.s. we are convinced that these rules will protect us from our fears about others and their differences and instead of challenging ourselves to think about what we know about others in this case immigrants and the conditions that lead families to migrate we are satisfied with creating rules that do not require us to check our conscious unconscious let alone our humanity immigration policies have served to uphold fears about immigrants and in doing so a defining characteristic of being an immigrant in this country is being silent and making yourself small enough not to be feared invisible if necessary my journey to this country started with unforgettable fear in silence not unlike millions of other immigrants who came before me we left Peru in 1985 when we found ourselves in the middle of a civil war the civil war between the government and the Shining Path guerrilla army resulted in approximately 70,000 people killed in bombings executions and fatal kidnappings as a three-year-old preschooler my mother paid for independent school transportation motivated by the daily hope that my brother and I could get to school without being killed or bombed I remember knowing all too well at that tender age that I should drop to the ground whenever I heard a loud boom wherever I was that noise could signal one of two deadly events an earthquake or a bomb one day I was walking to the corner bakery with my six-year-old brother and we heard such a noise both of us dropped to the ground and out of the corner of my eye I saw debris that debris was from the building that had been bombed across the street from the bakery I don't remember the exact moments that I learned about earthquakes and bombs but it was knowledge that I had assimilated in early childhood for my survival I don't remember the exact moments that those lessons took place any more than you can remember the exact moment that you learned the stove equal danger or fire my mom told stories about my dad having to take different routes home from work every day because he was a bank manager and his family could be targeted for a kidnapping ransom by the Shining Path today as the mother of two wildly precious daughters and a spouse to an incredibly loving husband I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have to consider daily threats that could destroy my greatest joys my family despite the profound sadness that my family faced when we left everything we had come to know and love behind family culture community my parents made the courageous decision to leave Peru without a clear promise for a better future I remember the conversations that would prepare us for our new lives we had tourist visas my mom my brother my sister and I seven two and six years old respectively my dad was already here we were told we had to be very careful about the reasons that we told people that we were coming to the States we were told that despite not seeing my dad for at least six months we could not run to him and embrace him like we desperately wanted to when we saw him at the airport that could draw attention to us we could be deported and our family could be torn apart forever I carried that fear of our family being torn apart at any moment with me throughout my childhood my adolescence and even now as an adult I carried that fear with me despite the fact that I did eventually become a citizen after a 21-year grueling expensive and dehumanizing process we did not enter the country illegally as many would have you believe like many undocumented immigrants we became undocumented when our visas expired we learned that the jobs my parents could have even if they had two or three at a time would not be enough for us to afford an attorney that could help us figure out what rules apply to us all while trying to learn a new language the immigration fees were exorbitant we had no idea that first year my parents had three jobs between them they managed to earn approximately $600 per month my mom earned $60 a week sewing hundreds of pieces of clothing my dad was a janitor and also worked at a candy factory it took time for my parents to save enough money not just to earn enough money for a family of five but also so that we could all become citizens together in 2002 after 17 years of the immigration process my family had spent $15,000 in immigration fees I stopped counting at that point I was an adult we went from changing our visa status to getting temporary residency work permits permanent residency and eventually in 1997 my dad became a citizen he was so nervous the night before his citizenship interview he stayed up all night organizing and reorganizing all his documents as an immigrant you become incredibly skilled at organizing documents you must learn to document your every move we documented our arrival birthdays work education and our taxes even though most of my life all I heard is all about how immigrants were a drain on the economy how I wish I would have known as a child that I could tell those people even if you are and you minute if you ever want the opportunity to naturalize you have to be able to show that you paid your taxes despite having to document our every move and our daily existence the fact remain we were invisible to many I knew very quickly that my family and I we were not wanted here we would have to prove frequently and to many that we were human beings and we had value at school I remember being puzzled by questions like what are you I later learned that was my introduction to racism in the u.s. you see my curly hair my brown complexion and my ability to learn English without a so-called accent puzzled people they struggled to figure out if I was black white biracial American their racial binary was all they were taught to understand and my multiracial Peruvian identity was not anything they had been taught to see as legitimate I vividly remember my father's painful stories of discrimination my father's work ethic was remarkable and something I'm extremely proud to have inherited from him whether he worked as a janitor or a furniture laborer my dad always prided himself in learning about the industry in which he worked despite that admirable work ethic I remember a story that became very common for him coworkers would ask him where he was from and quickly and quite comfortably they would associate his nationality with drug cartels presuming that my father had knowledge of either drug dealing or drug use all my father wanted was to be judged by the content of his character I watched as he developed a deep frustration and a profound sadness with the new reality of the American Dream the reality was that no matter how hard he worked he could never be shielded from the psychological and emotional trauma of the racism and xenophobia that marked a significant part of our journey in the u.s. in the face of many obstacles I watched my parents drive for their personal best they were and will always be my role models my dad had a love for learning they always encouraged me and because of that I excelled academically in school they told me I was smart capable and if I worked hard I was going to go to college as a child I remember thinking I'm gonna learn so much and I will prove all those people wrong about us I will point out how ignorant they are and I will vindicate my parents honor I was going to become a civil rights or immigration attorney at school I learned about the civil rights and women's movements so it was puzzling to know that people were still being treated unfairly despite all the work in those movements I also learned that sometimes we do not see others oppression until and unless it directly impacts us I never understood how one can feel the pain of being marginalized and then turn around and act it out on others so I vowed in the words of one of my heroes Audrey Lord that I would be different because I am not free while any woman is unfree even when her shackles are very different than my own I was gonna go to college and I was going to make a life for myself fighting for everyone's rights in school I was in the accelerated program and by the time I got to college I'd gotten several scholarships from many of the institutions that had applied to my parents would finally get to see one of their children graduate from college but something devastating happened 1998 will go down as a life-changing and unexpectedly painful year my dad was a citizen he had initiated the process for the rest of us to become citizens as well we were almost there and even though we were struggling with the recent loss of my Aleta his mother to a vicious cancer we were also trying to recognize our blessings the year before my parents had bought a house and I was now in my second year of college like I said we were almost there until I got a call your dad's been in an accident come home now it's bad your mom and your brother are on the way to the hospital stay with your sister and keep her calm as I held my baby sister close to me on April 25th 1998 my dad died in a tragic car accident and our family was changed forever as we tried to be there for one another as we grieved we also learned that when my dad died that petition for us died with him the immigration officers told us that we had to wait two more years to apply again it was as though his death and the uncertainty of what that meant for me and my family was not enough we apparently had more dues to behave and my dad would never be there twit missed the fruits of his labor and always sacrifice I went on to graduate from college I got a good salary job and I even met and married this amazing man we had two magical and strong-willed daughters and even though I no longer had to worry about how I would earn the money to pay the fees associated with citizenship I still had the uncertainty that perhaps I would never have the rights that my children my husband would have perhaps I would be taken away from my new family in 2006 after several more visits to the immigration office and more fees I finally became a citizen but I cannot say that I felt joy because quite frankly all I had left to feel was relief I decided to share my story because when people talk about immigration and immigration reform they talk about rules without considering the human beings that are impacted by these rules they become comfortable with terms like illegals and yet many of them do not realize that those so-called illegals they're just like me I am an immigrant who carries her parents legacy of always contributing to communities I am a devoted educator who's dedicated her life to improving communities by improving access to higher education and I am a passionate advocate for everyone's rights so before you try to diminish Who I am and all that my Creator intended for me to be into a label created by fear I will leave you with a quote by American activist and actor Edward Albert here is the only true enemy born of ignorance and parent of anger and hate this is for you Bobby [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 16,715

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Humanities, America, Foreign policy, Immigration, Politics, Public Policy

Id: PeF1xAa0QcE

Length: 20min 6sec (1206 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 07 2016