The THREE STOOGES Film Festival - Featuring BUD JAMISON - Full Episodes

[Music] BS I'm simply overcome with joy a big pardon Madam I thought it was the heat you don't seem to understand B can you keep a secret of course can well we're soon going to hear the patter of baby feet around the house let me be the first to congratulate thanks I've just been awarded a refugee a little W from the war torn battlefields of uh of of somewhere isn't it Splendid I can't imagine anything more intriguing Madam oh oh my tooth it's killing me now now Ajax you simply must have that tooth attender to I want you into a good humor when our Refugee arrives refugee yes of course isn't it wonderful everybody's doing it dear it's really quite the thing socially dogs and cats aren't enough now we've got to have a Haven for refugees oh oh now look at me I have a time now you must go and get that tooth pulled while I go fix the nursery for our little Refugee refugees me dying with a tooth a oh oh oh oh you're neet W you're supposed to be washing windows not taking dives off the scaffold get up sleeping beish you've been on your back since we got the job all of me I'm the boss and I want you to stop falling off of the scaffold can I help it if I was born dizzy I'll dizzy you oh I didn't do nothing that's why I slugged you do something get the water and wash that window right now hey we're sorry doc you idiots look what you've done the my office well we'll clean the place up yeah when I come back I'll clean you up hurry quiet we'll probably get fired for this get in here and clean up this mess hurry up come on come on I'll make everything and spank and get that other spot too oh this tooth is killing me he got to pull it do you have to come back later buddy the later nothing get busy and pull this tooth go on pull it go ahead doc take a chance what do you got to lose okay buddy it's your tooth and give me an anesthetic really who anesthetic he means he wants to be knocked out oh a pleasure he's out you Ile you knocked him out before he told us what tooth to pull well don't worry I'll find it move over doc that's it boy you should have been a surveyor oh thanks but you tell out to all the interns this is your fault go on hold on like I told you hey ninski give me those clickers now go on hold on to them hey after all I'm the sturgeon give me a little room I think I got [Applause] [Music] something funny E Yeah well laugh this off go on hold on to him so I can pull that tooth nothing doing from now on you do the holding I'll do the pulling I hope you know what you're doing give him a soy I'll show you how to a tooth ooo hey what's the idea of the glasses I can't see without the glasses that's only in your mind I'll prove it to you here how many teeth in this mouth four you're crazy he's got a mouthful see I told you I need the glasses see those teeth what teeth go on get busy I can pull it blindfolded oh hey fellas I got a bite H away oo stubborn eh I got it girl an octopus you stripped his gears now we have got a problem wait a minute here's some cement we'll put his Choppers back before he wakes up polish ooh jumping beans that ought to be enough bring me those ivories so I can put them back put them back alive hey the cement's hardened what are we going to do now wait a minute maybe you can drill it out with this what do you mean [Music] maybe we ain't getting no place fast think will have to blast boy that's an idea let's get some powder listen either you fire those janitors or I'll move they're fired H hey what are you doing are you all right Mr bullion yeah feels fine doc gee thanks send me your [Applause] [Music] bill hey you guys hey hey what are you fellas doing in my car we just escaped from a scaffold fugitives huh no wait a minute he means we're refugees refugees yeah that's it how would you boys like a nice home home James come on H not a bad joint sh remember you're supposed to be children just three dumb kids we get you booss hey I relent that you're relent what he called us children at your age leave him alone quiet oh what Jack the Ripper e hitting little girls yeah and I have a surprise for you dear don't tell me you brought me by to the refugee three of them where are they children this is Johnny Frankie and Mabel they're precious children meet your new mommy who dawned our socks and washed our shirts when we were helpless Little Squirts mommy who kept the buttons on our clothes who scrubbed our ears and blew our nose mommy oh Mommy it's your little boy Sammy coming home from Alabama put on those eggs and hammy don't flim flammy Mommy oh Mommy Mommy oh Mommy are you hurt dear oh Mommy a luncheon is served Madam hey I'm sorry darling awfully sorry oh paga you nitwit what was Emily post say come and get it well that's that Hey where's the desid oh Eat Your Spinach Children Here Eat Your Spinach I don't like spinach why are you going to eat it whether you like it or not where are my cigars I bought a new box yesterday you're smoking too much dear I'm smoking too much what say where are those refugees the Little Darlings they're upstairs playing games with the butler come on seven roll bones ranky needs a pair of shoes Jim me children wait quick hide the cigars wait a minute wait a minute here under here [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay there there children you make gos yes M uh you've played long enough it's getting quite late that's a coincidence yes isn't it and our children I'll give you a milk so you get undressed and get ready for bed oh no not us oh we sleep with our clothes on last time I took mine off I caught cold oh the idea it's getting warm in here oh out [Applause] wait AE still what's going on quick water thanky sister Rong up in this come take it easy in there you're as snug as a bug in a rug the water get it in there boys of hello down there are you out yeah she said she's out quick get it I know you just all dying to see my little Refugee how are the precious darling they're just fine except Frankie he has a little cold the butler's going to bring them all down later too how did that applehead get a cold slept with his feet hanging out the window last night he would what are you doing I got a cold mommy said I should soak my feet she didn't tell you to soak them with your shoes on did she now look what you did how am I going to get rid of my cold put some of that Saab on your chest and come right downstairs make it snappy H I believe I'm starting to smell a little bit [Applause] here oh here's one of the children now a Frankie sweet I want you to meet all of my guests isn't he cute can you recite something Frankie pleas please do do little fly upon a wall ain't you got no clothes at all ain't you got no shimmy Shir ain't you got no Petty skirt booly ain't you cold you're just as cute as you can be you're not bad yourself wouldn't you like to go and meet some of the other guests no I like it here well Frankie come over here no I don't want to don't worry I won't leave [Music] you oh why Frankie what's the matter I just got a stabbing pain what's the matter you got a cold too no how's your cold oh pretty good but I still don't smell so good I'll say you don't hey Mommy Mommy come back momm hey Mommy Mommy back come on come back ja oh hello folks I I was just playing with the children yeah let's play some [Laughter] more they got him oh [Music] la [Music] oh hello Arthur hope you catch something the same to you an adult mean fish oh hello Mabel why Muriel what's the trouble well it looks as if I can't come to your party Arthur's gone on another one of his famous fishing trips and I won't have an escort why don't you call the escort Bureau and have them send over a nice young man what what do you mean well from what I understand the acne escort Bureau is Thoroughly reliable mostly college boys from Harvard and Yale perfect gentleman why don't you try it oh I don't think that I that I you don't want to miss the opportunity of meeting Lord W botom do you no I must run along dear I'll be expecting you you're all going out tonight miss van Twitches yes get me the acne escort Bureau on the telephone yes why do hope they're discriminating discriminating yes NY discriminating aimy X I guess this must be [Music] it well that's it that's what let's the idea that's my new invention the Simplex rodent exterminator I thought we were supposed to catch a mouse listen you juge head when the mouse comes out of there he's bound to touch one of those strings when he does the cannon goes off oh I get it the noise wakes up the cat and the cat catches the mouse see that oh wait a minute the oldfashioned way is good enough for me he ain't Progressive now listen if we don't get him with the strings we get up with The Hangman's nose right around the neck till he's dead oh come on come on oh I wish I had my py blower here I'd get him if he sees you he'll never come out I got it I got a [Music] fight see that's the oldfashioned way that's why I laid awake nights figuring out this safe plan I'll show you how to get one now if I only had a mouse why didn't you say so that's a cinch what's the idea I've been reading up on it see so what if a pie-eyed piper can call him out I guess I can sober did that come out of me [Music] look that's a swell idea for the mouse I know the strings are too loose we'll get down there and tight them and get them on the way back I don't know if I can play that twible that that tomb see that's what get me out of here help me out answer the phone no want to go home you just got here n the phone is ringing yeah oh the phone hello hello is this the acne yeah this is the acne you'll have to talk a little louder lady I want to engage one of your best men we're all best men you see a friend of mine is giving a dinner dance ants She's Got Ants by the way what are your fees fleas she's got fleas too boys what else you got lady what what's the address lady meet me at Mrs sturgeon's home at 1320 in Laurel Canyon Drive it's semiformal Tails all right has she gots nails to no you lunkhead you don't expect to go to a classy joint and catch pests in those dirty overalls do you come on I got my my Piccolo here I get anything how do you do Mrs Van twitch hey get that thing out of there why have a very idea get this disgraceful thing out of here get your shirt on big boy we were sent for oh clay Hammer it's quite all right we're expecting them oh very well Mrs d twitchit hold this SED hello Mel oh Mel I'm so happy to see you may I present uh Howard fine and Howard At Your Service day and night we do the job and do it right me I see what oh it's the college yell yes College oh ripping dinner is served dinner dinner certainly they always feed you in these high class joints you don't want to wake up an empty stomach do you I should say not all right go [Music] ahead cut it out get rid of that heater look at all that silver what do we do with them I'll show you what to do with it no you don't you eat with them but why so many all we need is a knife can't you see how they're laid out you start at the far end and work your way down ready [Music] go I Eno little crowd folks there room for everybody sit on shorty stuff's here and it's mellow I you thank you oh dear hey I ain't got no s yet take part of mine thanks I say look here my dear this is my first visit to America you see and I want to be very sure that I observe the proper table etiquette now what shall I oh I have it I shall keep my eye on those College [Music] chaps [Music] [Music] a [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] snow [Music] shoes [Music] hey buddy you ain't going to get any mice with that tun you got to swing it wait a minute you big chump you got to wait till the guests are all gone but iind my pado already why do you boys play too well oh we'd love to have you play for us he You'll Play something for us won't you ahe the mittens sometimes I think you got part of a brain thanks don't mention it get he I got a ton of be flat hey Maestro you blow the gas pipe you get the little fiddle I'll take the over stuffed one all right fellas Squam hey piano player you stay and take the tempo for my buddy don't shove man the instruments boys we will now play Ron super teams by lross now [Music] hey hey hey come on up here the place best we better to forget society and get to work you guys handle the ter like I'll handle them all stay in night we do the job and do it right H [Music] me did you hear anything quiet I'm on that trail I found them it's disgraceful they should be put out of the house [Music] clay hammer yes Madam take this thing out of here immediately but Madam oh oh lady h try here oh a blooming o what the have we a shower Barth over here it's those escorts I shall call the Acme and report this by all means phone the Acme of immediately a nest of them put them here quiet you want to scare him away we better give him a shot from the other side okay oh Arthur Muriel oh Arthur I'm so glad you're back forgive me honey I'll never go fishing again that was terrible did you see a female more fly through here was it a white one yeah no I didn't see it oh I know where three moths are going where hurry [Music] up [Music] [Music] [Applause] la [Applause] [Music] isn't it rather odd that your mistress hasn't put in an appearance at her own party uh yes madame I'm sorry madame where is she where is that wife of mine take it easy Rumsford a drink sir any word for Mrs Rumford not a word sir I'm terribly upset you're upset what about me she invites all these people to her birthday party and then runs out on them she always does that sir she'll probably be back in a day or time D to snap out of a Rumsford you must make allowances for our youth sherel turn up if I didn't love that woman so much and I swear [Music] i' darl hello right over oh Williams ready Madam listen York you're a doctor and you're my best friend isn't there anything you can do for her I'm afraid she's a bit out of my line the men you want are Dr Ziller Zeller and Zer you think they can help her well they're the finest psychiatrist in the business they're terribly expensive and their methods are very peculiar but they do get results I'll have Williams call him I'll have Williams call them immediately I've got to see a patient Ry I'll try to get back later good luck thanks Williams I want you to Telephone Dr Ziller Zeller and Zer oh this switchboard oh it's dead thank goodness your true I've been almost crazy yes ma'am I'll have my stuff out right after lunch looks like there's nobody here that's the place all right maybe I got the you pting head why don't you look what you're doing I couldn't help it I was looking around to see if there's anybody in the office and when I T look what you did what oh why don't you be careful Dr that ladder before you Hur somebody oh oh remind me to tear out your out of I like a not of it give me that what with you you break my pencil I'll break your head say what war is this never mind the Wise Cracks toots we're troubles shooters from the phone company what's wrong here painters ruined my switchboard come on if you can bring it to life and a call comes in for the doctor say they're out of town I'm going to lunch okay hey hey bring me back a piece of Bo toast and a rotten egg Bo toast and a rotten egg yeah I got a tape one him and that's good enough for him go on get busy how she coming that's a good say what do you got here hey give me that give me that now go on get busy like I told you go on pull this line through and hook it on number six he Larry help me I'm surrounded get get a hold of that hello yes I know know it's out of order I've been trying for half an hour to get it what's the matter with you putting hedge of an NE and slug nutty all day it's gty she's going to have that's wonderful oh when do you expect it any minute that's why I'm so upset no fool and why didn't you tell us but you see I I know you're broke flat is a flui that's bad we got to figure out a way to get some money and get it quick oh thanks Mo you're welcome okay I got come on come on get to work our operator you must must get that number now try again please Hello Operator is this susqu 2222 2222 what do you think you're doing playing trains oh I love to play trains wo why don't you get a two pay with some in it why you I want to speak to Dr Zilla Zella or zala this is an important case we'll pay any price if they'll come over immediately money is No Object we'll be there on the flash in the flesh we need money and I got a way to get it what are we supposed to do you're Zilla your Zella and I'm Dr zala oh glad to meet you Doctor hi you son now listen doc I'm troubled with TS what do you mean TS two stomachs stick out your tongue there's an impatient patient waiting come on wait listen wait Sher you can't run out on your guest like this again but darling I'm bored I'm only going for a short ride in a submarine I'll be back in a day or two tell them all wait but gentlemen I'm Mr rums are you looking for someone I'm Zilla I'm zel I'm Zer stick out your tongue say are with with your mouth closed rats this is serious you're right gentlemen it's strictly a case of luus and pipping this is priceless I'm not the patient it's Mrs Rumsford oh how do you do Madam now see here Sher oh darling you take the submarine ride I wouldn't leave these men on a bed come gentlemen the last one in is the [Applause] Republican [Music] oh Countess I'm so sorry ohle John no I'll get you a drink gentlemen what will I do with her now let me tell you a little bit about Sherry oh don't bother I'll take Scotch make mine R I'll take Jin SM than bourbon boys gentlemen do have some rum punch rum punch why sightly I knew this thing would come in handy will you join me Sly skore score this is weak yeah the rum went through this punch on stills this Scotch ought to help it's gin to make it fizzy boy and rum ought to help some AR no hey Fe [Laughter] hey here's some new kind of liquor was s the Shire this s the Bas go I ain't never drunk any we put it in what he got to lose [Applause] sh you shouldn't handle dangerous weapons give me that I will not let me have it look it's boiling it must be done a marvelous accomplishment a prodigious achievement you said it it's putrid gentlemen will you be good enough to look my wife over now a pleasure this way the doctor's going to look you over dear oh goody now uh we shall test your reflex first okay doctor this is the way a normal reflex should act I beg your pardon oh you don't have to apologize you can't help if you're crazy come here Kenny Pig now then holding the Palm at a 45° angle must be off a couple of degrees trouble is you got no life oh [Applause] me pardon me I'm sorry [Applause] come in I got dinner is served [Laughter] eat I just love cream puffs oh I hope you gentlemen would like my Spanish dinner I'm just crazy about Spanish food especially corn beef and cabbage isn't he funny what's all the first I believe I dropped my sered well just keep seated nobody will notice it okay have half of mine thank you really biscuit Madam no thank you sir quiet biscuit sir oh sweetly biscuit sir Hey where's your Emily post this my favorite dish biscuits biscuits all the time [Laughter] you very f man yes isn't he a scream I just love jales in the spring what a funny thing you don't know whether it's coming or going speak to me so I'll know which is the head of the tail quiet now quiet this thing can't lick me stubborn huh get tough at me a bomb an infernal machine [Music] why you I'm sorry don't throw it don't throw it why you don't I duck it I [Laughter] can oh no no no no no [Music] this is outrageous I demand that something be [Laughter] done this is all your fault you cut it out Mo you missed me yeah that'll teach you folks this m [Music] I [Music] [Laughter] Surrender Dr yor just gentlemen I think you better leave now while my wife's still enjoying herself before she changes her mind believe me I'm grateful will will about 1500 do oh that's just right thanks oh my birthday cake I'm darling in all my life I've never had so much fun me too [Music] he [Music] is Majesty the king of moronica Herman the six and 78 your cap s father G them my child what are you doing with these traitors who overthrew me to put in a dictator we made a mistake sire we wish to help you regain the throne is that right Mr RJ positively Mr Ray tell the king our plan Mr rsra I shall be delighted Mr rch we have planned to have your daughter spy on Hailstone the dictator so we can destroy him you betrayed me once how can I believe you now s if we are not on the level may we be struck down on this spot what's the matter can't you take a joke ah marvelous hey what can be keeping my field Marshal and my minister of propaganda I got the card field Marshall come over right away I'll come over when I'm ready he's shaving I'll be right over put him down as minister of propaganda I want to report that the people I am not interested in the people good oh go feel Marshall Herring how goes the War I don't know the census won't tell me and I ain't r a newspaper start the teletype you fool hey where was I what happened in the air we bombed 56 hospitals 85 schools 42 kindergartens for cemeteries and other vital military objects with our stunk of bomas what a Brit Cre [Laughter] what your Army's on the March again this morning they took paragor paragor eh good good good good go on then they took Paka with 1650 points um I mean prisoners 84 tanks Brooklyn seven New York three it's SE biscuit in the stretch gaharan is coming up it's biscuit and gaharan gaharan and biscuit kayak wins I want to know about my armies have we taken the dkes of Holland certainly and the vanes of Amsterdam and the updikes of R Dam and the Hunchback another Dam hail hail hail hail hail hail you say oh hail I yeah yeah yeah man I'm from the South not you in the v that's what I'm suffering from yeah yeah yeah man yeah go we must study this map carefully e now that we have captured all of staria we must take great Mitten yeah yeah yeah yeah you were going to Blitz Creek great Mitten by the middle of August then you said septober then octember it's now in the middle of no and we ain't there yet well no I didn't say what year I don't understand it it's only 20 miles yeah I could skip it then skip [Music] it oh luncheon has served your Excellency have I told you the six delicious favors the first one they have the plot Marshall Herring our first move is to kick the stuffing out of Turkey I'll wipe out grease wait a minute just tried it and look what happened quiet oh I want a piece of TIY me too oh so you want a piece of turkey yeah give it to me now you got it yeah yeah but I still want a piece of tur hey hey hey come on pass it give me that hey Larry throw it hey [Laughter] now remember your highness if we can get the axes Partners fighting amongst themselves the battle is half one don't worry umch when I get through giving Hailstone an astrology session he won't know which end his axis is standing on and if that fails plant this on Hailstone pool table it contains enough high explosive to blow Hailstone and his to Hades I won't fail AMC this is a pool game not a blitz C I think I'll invade you coming coming com yeah a who might you be fair one I am your new astrologer the Cirus of robach oh was your father the SE of robot oh no I was raised by Montgomery oh Montgomery's Ward you must help me get in touch with the Stars yeah me too I'll take Lamar I'll take Lamour I'll take lasanga with six lessons one 2 3 4 1 2 3 spread out bring me my telescope what new to the planets portend today Fair one very bad news I feel your Rex's Partners plan treachery so you shall see for yourself [Applause] [Music] so the act's partners would like to roast us eh sumon them for a conference immediately heal heal come let us pop off the rest of the pool balls yes let's pop come pip you know I'd like to show you my Chateau in Brooklyn it's on the right as you go in it's on the right as you come out too yeah everyone enters through an exit I think I shall break oh no I think I shall break I break I break no no no no I win [Applause] don't know I missed one where's the white ball you're scratched scratch nothing it's in the Brena pass I get a free shot oh you use too much English never speak that white in this house I think he's cheating I'm going to watch him this time you made me miss you hit me the chin why oh just for that I won't go to your party at bel's Garden wait a minute you're wasting it's my shot I'll smash the 13 ball into that pocket step aside let a man shoot that knows how I'll hit that 13 ball so hard it'll fly in a million piece oh oh somebody dropped the [Music] bomb put it down no put it down or I'll take away your medals they're not yours I bought them in a hot shop give me my personality put that wall down well if you're begging me Excellency yes yes the axes partners are here well show them in I'll show those ex's Partners a two or thing or three or four yeah three are not very good are needing [Music] new very necessary hello hello have you got anything on tonight no not a thing you'll catch cold goodbye where is the Minister of R why does he keep us waiting here he comes now his Excellency the Bay of rum hi you Weevil old Bowl old Ry Old Rum pot I see you brought your own C no she waterpipe present for you she good waterpipe here smoke him good smoke live thank you stuck tricky I'll smoke this or else look I show you sit down blubber it's about time gentlemen my Manifesto read it pleas yeah you see claws too yeah is that submarine yeah this is a submarine is that TR car yes this is a TR car submarine TR car read it go back to those cofs you burn upet the meeting is called to order gentleman of the Axel your Blitz is under Fritz I am the winner and the world belongs to me oh no that's very very unjust priest s you're welcome shut up shut up shut up shut up that's against the international laws the world belongs to me [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute see look [Music] come [Applause] on Pi your [Music] pure [Applause] [Music] hey she's leaving wait a minut why should you and I fight let them kill each other and you and I will share the world Ah that's of the spirits shake that shows you can't trust me hey putting head [Applause] quick I Vanquish them I am the winner the world belongs to me give it to me no it's mine give me that wh herringer I'll marinate you let me have it my world you n what you shot at my world my world no no no don't do that you I you I don't don't don't do that listen you I've take enough from you this is the [Music] last your magesty good news we have regained your throne you are again our King are you sure that the mad dictator and his henchmen will not return I am positive your majesty [Music] [Applause] look [Music] [Music] la [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh what's the idea of kicking me I didn't kick you somebody kicked me you suppose that put and had kicked us how could he he sound asleep sney I'm sound asleep and how come you're talking I'm talking in my sleep w oh oh go that's the idea what's the matter with you I never get a rest yeah hurry up and get dress we arrive in Hollywood in an hour boy I can hardly wait will I be a sensation in pitches come on get breakfast ready Gable get down you wouldn't hit me like that if I was Gable would you no like this who oh mute Me In The Box Car eh get gone see I sure will miss this old car I wonder who loness their furniture without knowing it the cups get us she'll find out hurry up with that breakfast now hey get that iron on I want my white pants cressed I want to look my best when I get to Hollywood how we going to get in pictures we know nothing about movies there's a couple of thousand people in pictures now know nothing about it three more won't make any difference besides with my ideas I'll revolutionize the business hey fellas ain't I getting to look more and more like Barry Moore Kiss Me My calaban hey break it up you porcupine come on press my pants I want to look the berries when I go into the movies hurry [Applause] up [Music] h oh boy it feels great to be clean hey did you see a wheat cake don't tell me you lost it yeah I had it in the pan I flipped it up and it never came down oh there it is you can have it I'll make another no I think you better take it oh well I'll make get out get [Music] out you [Applause] [Music] w w say what's the matter they SW put him over my arm oh you like him me yeah what you do to my pants nothing I gave him a good pressing oh yeah so you did yeah good PR hey it's h yes that's right I'm sorry Mr rat I forgot about this wire it came last night after you left in accordance with our new policy we are sending you Mr Smith and his two assistants who will take complete charge of the studio stop you will be under their orders and are to give them your your complete cooperation in everything they may wish to do stop they will arrive tomorrow at 2:00 you idiot you nearly got me into a fine mess sorry sir tomorrow at 2:00 that means today go and prepare an office and see that they have everything they may possibly want yes sir I'll order three blonde secretary yes GE that guy was tough let's try this one I don't see any Watchmen around hey hey hey now pet it and don't try to get in here again boy this picture business is tougher to get into than I figured don't worry a bad beginning is a good ending sightly if it first you don't succeed keep on sucking till you do succeed now we got to get into the studio by hook a crook say you remember how we got the cycus last winter he's got it that'll wake you said it come on say uh I'm from the newspapers would you mind posing for a photograph CH sure thanks now look up at the top of the building and shade your eyes with your right hand that's fine now raise your right leg hold it that's swell that's beautiful swell don't move now what are you doing pting for a newspaper ad why I'm it's soly guys watch that gate it's about time those New York Executives arrived have you heard from them no sir not yet well here we are oh well I show these guys how to make pictures gentlemen Welcome to Hollywood I've been expecting you welcome welcome I've received my instructions from New York gentlemen the studio is yours and I shall do everything within my power to help you make better pictures how did you enjoy your trip across the continent all a confence of Home pinch me I think I'm Dreaming shut up Act important Dear Santa Claus what I'm what you good gentlemen will you join us in a toast I don't like toast that black stuff gets in my teeth come on I'll gou your eyes out come on a little toast to your success oh s pop think you can get it open oh and how I used to be a cker yeah give me that camera Marie you may go come in oh my darling sweetheart at last they're doing it right I've dreamed of the day that we could fly away from here together fire fell is this WHYY set what the very idea what is the meaning of all this who are you hi that'll explain the whole thing do you mind if I continue it's all right with me but let's get going action oh my darling sweetheart cut cut cut you ain't shooting a picture right why what's the matter with it there's no action it was no good from the first kiss kiss what do you know about kisses tell them what we know about kisses that's enough now now stick around and learn something come here tots you watch me that's uh sort of the hit and run type no that's not what he wants watch this see it's a sort of a stolen base idea that ain't it with me it's a sacrifice oh Mr Howard was a great fight say he's passing out he is tell me your name k so I can tell your mother my mother knows my name matter go what you think you are all right now show these puppets how to put action behind their words get yourself all set now come in oh my darling sweetheart oh will you look at that swiy the name is spinard please yeah I've dreamed of the day that we could fly away from here together oh I bet you tell I to all the girls help quiet you just the actions no words go ahead oh but alas we cannot I have no money oh darling money doesn't mean everything oh boy is that a scene Pig hot Spain Spain yes swine Pig it's all the same swine hard big pig heart hot bur who cares we'll make it like that I quit you can't quit and why not cuz you're fired you can't fire him why not he quit get out say listen how are we going to finish this picture now don't worry about that I'll direct the thing with SH well you can count me out 1 2 3 and Forest 10 the winner you're out un true well you can get a new face for me I'm through with this nonsense now where are we going to get a new face for her I got it the face from the barroom floor pick out two fingers one [Applause] two oh is that a scene or is that a scene yeah you CED he loves me he loves me not come in darling I have come for you sweetheart come with me and fly away oh not that you're breaking my heart please darling [Music] please oh colossal terrific oh man that was great when the boss sees that scene will he go nothing here's a wife sir oh thanks Smith plain grounded a count of fog stop will not arrive until tomorrow regards Burton Fisk president H those three Executives won't arrival oh say who are those other three guys I don't know sir call that G get all the gate come on I told you there's nothing to this picture rocket we'll show these Hollywood guys guys how to make pictures sight me what are we do now think of something come on use your head I threw them out once boss so did I and they try to crash my gate too you'll have a chance to throw them out again I think our genius in appreciate here let's scram come on let wait wait a minute hey let's hide in here hurry up and lock a door oh they'll never find us certainly we're safe in here just like in our mother's arms what are you growling about I didn't growl not me oh [Applause] me out let me out again let me let's get out of [Applause] [Music] here la la la la [Music] la [Music] that's red Morgan in his gang last night they were out the Express office did they get the mine payroll no I've got that in my bank but they'll be after it next we've got to find somebody to run these hoodlums out of town there must be someone that I got it look I'm got to print this picture in the paper and and say that there three famous Marshals coming to clean up the town it might work and give me time to get rid of the payroll that's right uh-huh ooh come [Applause] on well that's that here you are gentlemen Abdul's Cactus remedy cures every ailment known to man Beast only $1 hey Mo buy me a bottle I can't sleep what do you mean you sleep 12 hours every night yeah but I'm wide awake all day what oh oh wait a minute now yes folks this world famous remedy hey I I've got to send a wire will you boys watch my show whatever you take in is yours boy we're in business why you lunkhead you broke all the bottles get in there and make some more while I do some spaling I think you sped enough already I'll spel you get go all right here you are folks here you are Abdul's Cactus remedy good for hay fever spottet fever and Buck Fever what a bargain for a buck a cure for cic and rickets brightens the teeth shines your old silverware and a definite cure for driff and lumbago I'll take a bottle go away son you bother me uh sorry friend I don't I don't think it'll do you any good you said it would queue lumbago and I got it well if you're going to stand on a technicality I'll see my colleages in the clinic do you know anything about mixing medicine doctor why saty Professor all you got to do is mix a little of this and a little of that so hey we got plenty of this then I'll try that how about this yes I'll try that pretty pretty H here what don't you make up your mind you better put this in my favorite color here here here's another one yeah oh boy that's hot stuff that's what he needs for his lomago here bottler it now as I said before folks you can't afford to be without it hey how about my bottle and if it don't cure me I was afraid of that lomago Lambo oh there are Sheriff no charge that'll pick it right up and lay it right down down [Music] too I've been poisoned step on the gas get out hey you come [Music] back where hears about this I wonder when they get here say partner can you tell me where I can hey R get a load of this Wild Bill heer why don't you change that face of yours you scare people hey Porter wanted looks like you guys are going to work make yourself presentable why we better call off scking up that bank we'll knock that bank over before they get here but they're here already look come on who's the boss around here why we're here to clean up the joint oh no not to take it easy boys have a drink on me oh sure certainly well here's how and how hey you're supposed to drink that not rub it in hello tall dark and [Music] handsome what do you say heup shall we trip the light fantastic I'd rather [Music] dance dance you got your legs on [Music] backwards a oh fancy hey get a load of [Music] this I'm cutting in stranger stand [Music] aside This is my dance oh you know you dance divinely oh thank get [Music] away hug me little [Music] tired [Music] red get a load of there I thought those guys were funnies I'll stop his [Music] heup you're getting my [Music] hair now let's see how good a shot you are oh not what that with a gun sorry I didn't know it was loaded here the bottle's on the bar did I do that certainly I'll take the next three and Rapid Fire I'll take the next one the hard way huh you scared it to death you know now remember you men you've been deputized to guard my bank protect it with your lives or else right right there right all right try the door why you you can't come in here why not well can't you read open 10 to three oh we're sorry we'll be back in the morning all hey hey left face hey your cab head I said left face oh yeah oh wait a minute you give me that gun there now what did I say before right face all right this time I get left face right come here right face how did that feel what what was that the bank come on oh hey look toyes and big ones too come on we got to get in we're locked out we'll have to use Force Men He Who help help hey are folks we got the robber you [Music] rob you know if we don't get that payroll back by tonight they're going to Lynch us get them boy pick up the [Music] trail open mus go get him boy pick up the trail [Music] [Music] right in the mush I'll murder go get him boy mush mush mush mush that's it right in the mush give me that okay stron heart get on the he's on the trailer the skunk he's got the scent hey take it easy must be The Hideout get him by golly they got him get up get up why you skunk hey hey fellas look a cabin let's go there's nobody home let's look around search The Joint spread out oo peppes hey hey fellas look the money oh boy oh my oh my there's gold in them Hills there's gold in them th floors too yes sir you said it it's the guys they're coming back quick hide the D here sto hurry up let's go hey Mo got me turn around here easy now I'll have you out the there we are I got it the traps you mean I got it the Trap traps get the rest of shut your trap go on here okay get out of here follow me you guys lay those straps down the path hurry [Laughter] up hey we've been find a Tru [Applause] [Music] hey hurry up kid go back and get the [Music] dough hey open up hey somebody must be in there come on let's break it down somebody got the D yeah we've been double crossed take a look around maybe they hit at the stove come [Music] on I'm going to [Music] get Dan's Daily Double 15 cents get your pen pick par get your take his handicap get a score card you can't tell the players without a score card I don't mean to Mis repenti to C marar jurisdiction upon you but today I'm giving away a house and lot a diamond started wristwatch a special sedan and as that at prize I'm giving away a custombuilt secondhand Tire I'll take that who's talking to you oh wait a minute it's no use there's nobody stting for us they will come here he now now you stay there and when he stops sell him one of these if he stops here comes one now get your daily double here he's gone [Music] [Music] listen buddy you can't afford to miss a terrific chance like this a winner every day I'll guarantee you four winners I'll make it five six seven eight nine just a minute there's only eight races last race that heat two winners that's Soul sney well give me one just a second these horses ran day before yesterday they won didn't they yeah give me back my money no mistakes rectified after you leave the window oh a bunch of crooks huh police police there's one over there hey officer hey come here police say buddy is that cop after you too yeah I what's your matter with you I thought you was a dummy when I got the oh try to pull a fast one huh give me your hand arthritis now now I've got to go hey [Music] hey come on in the house yes pardon me but I'm working my way through college and I boy that was a close shave hey fellas look spread out stens draw my bath yes my Lord hot C of Muddy oh oh As You Wish what's the matter too hot no too mudy oh a [Music] Bazi [Music] [Music] mayyy [Music] hey hey hey it's got me it's fting me get it get why gentlemen what do you mean by coming in in our apartment without knocking this is my furniture I was dispossessed yesterday why didn't you call up Washington get yourself an FBI loan mommy could I have some milk now not now darling maybe later mommy can get you some you'll hide the kid scram get us some milk with what with this hey C Hey kid say something I'm afraid you finished them oh no not that Mama Mama Mama give me Ripley yeah believe it or not hey you got a dial for yeah here oh one on Mash you like a [Music] potato oh yes oh yes but [Music] when [Applause] now let that be a lesson to you there we are home sweet home nothing left to do but have it insured here's the milk for the baby thank you thank you Jersey no New York stop it hey fellas look what I got smell here scale it what are you doing scale It Go on cook that thing make the head well done the middle medium the tail [Music] rare speak come on [Laughter] speak must have been a flying fish I don't Point fish plank fish what kind of fish you say this was s saw see s s see see so there we are sort of a delicacy so see heart hey what's on your mind you know if we can get into the track and if we had a tip we could bet on the horse if we had some money oh what are you smuggling turn loose I'll why you cheap crook stealing a baby bank it's only a Lend Lease I figured i' bet on a 50 to one shot and double a baby's money well you imile why don't you pick a 100 to one shot and triple it oh okay wait a minute if we spend any money to get in there we won't have any left to bet on the horse what we do press press come on follow me press press press press pull well don't look like we're going to get any suckers today no I got a good notion to go back into vaille with my vent triloquist act ah you've probably forgotten how to throw your voice by this time well you think so well here we are let's look the bank tailes over come on look watch me have some fun with that sap see you look pretty good to me you're not bad looking yourself big boy I bet you tell talk are you talking to me yeah H bet all you got on me sucker I'm going to win this race no kidding no kidding that's all I want to know how about that no that's a mother I got a tip a hot tip what's her name it's no her it's a him what's his name Beed lady who gave you the tip the owner no the horse boy the horse the horse hey come [Music] here over's taking the lead pickup is running second and byant is running a bad third byant is moving in a contention and pick up a thingin fast nip and Tuck between hangover and by and pickup and here comes beard and Lady the winner beard and Lady by Kate [Applause] whisker $500 say wait a minute you boys are too lucky to be betting on horses you ought to own one I think you got something there you said it and we're going to sell you come on boys take off well there you are boys Sea Basket the Wonder Horse looks more like a fugitive from a glue factory to me I wouldn't have him as a gift I bet you never want a race I won the Kentucky Derby once no yeah what else I beat fil in the Porter House staks that's good enough for me we'll take them thanks thanks why you wait a minute wait a minute come here tell them what you told me come on tell them why you sap just for that I'll never speak to you [Applause] again a what's the matter she basket bit me must be time for his vitamins okay let's go oh boy oh you hold his mouth open I'll blow this pill down his throat what your matter I swallowed the pill that was vitamin C did that come out of me yeah take it easy oh oh oh ah head oh oh oh that what the hell he is I don't know I don't know what's keeping that doctor how's the patient doc fine why you the patient is all right right it's a boy here he is H I wonder if you can talk dad another winner a combination ticket [Music] la [Music] the [Music] general gentlemen our position is very precarious unless our secret service can get the information as to the enemy's plans we will be forced to retreat Colonel what operators have we here operators 12 14 and 15 good we are fortunate gentlemen they are the very brains of the entire Secret Service summons [Music] [Laughter] [Music] them attention oh that's a coincidence operator 12 oh operator 14 uper to 15 what happened operator 13 he swam across the river and died of Potomic poisoning men our army is in danger of annihilation unless we know the plans of the enemy our cause is lost sir here are the uniforms we took from the enemy prisoners good we have captured three of the enemy's officers and you are going to take their places we U will down their uniforms we'll give you their credentials and your names will be Lieutenant duck Captain Dodge and major Hyde now I want you three men to bring me back the necessary information providing you get back we'll divide it we'll divide well do you remember your names no duck Dodge [Laughter] hide atten [Applause] attention oh a v there ship my temp ship a ho heat two on the port side I wonder if this is the right place Lieutenant I reckon this is the place Captain what do you all say major well is there's no other place around the place I reckon this must be the place I reckon how deep is this year River major it Ain see look [Applause] see Man Overboard May the light we'll have the preservers in a minute we'll have you out the moment sir [Applause] there easy major you're frightening Clementine w w wo what's the matter don't happened I was lost all by myself let me see your hand oh I'm I'm getting tired of this Army I'm getting tired of both [Applause] armies oh oh thanks boys if you hadn't held that Branch you would have killed me oh another centy remember the password go ahead oh what happened nothing oh follow me P advance and give the card a sign come that's only for the first line so it is Charlie gives it for the second line Charlie sure everybody knows Good Time Charlie he walks like this hey wait look another Sentry do your stuff l spread out that way hop advance and give the counter sign Cumberland and Charlie Walks Like This HK what seems to be the trouble yah well he doesn't know the counter sign he's not supposed to I reckon do you know who this is no who is he I tell him Captain well yes um he's a gentleman of the hallelujah hallelujah never mind I'll take care of him hey you all looking for me I know who are you stranger I'm Charlie you know the fell walks like this no you're the wrong Charlie the Charlie we're looking for walks like a Visa [Laughter] [Applause] I got a better one for the colonel what is it major there were three men in three beds only had two blankets how'd they keep warm I don't know how did they major they turn on the heat see that yeah see that by uh the way colel I think we we ought to have about 75,000 men down yeah oh don't make me laugh we've only got 19,000 yeah but I reckon we ought to have about 350 heavy pieces of artillery don't you think oh that's where we fooled him we've only got 18 pieces 18 pieces a meere handful let's forget business gentlemen and freshen up our julips sure the coal is right let's have a nip and Tuck what's that major a one nip and they tuck your way for the night colel uh have we uh yes we have plenty for everybody here you are took enough of that stuff that'll be the last time I was burning up do you know what that paper was hot hello Daddy oh hello dear I'm baking a cake all by myself oh that's fine dear by the way gentlemen let me introduce my daughter Judith oh would you all care to partake of my cake when it's done we all would sure love it lead us to it I baked the cake once but it fell and killed the cat major how about another nip and Tuck hello Charlie message sir wo W wo wo woo this is serious what is it I can't see so good without my glasses well what does it say official communication to Kel buts QX division what did it say it's about the Union Army what what was it all Union soldiers are now wearing Union underwear think of it oh baking eh can I help you I used to work in a bakery as a pilot a pilot yeah I used to take the bread from one corner and pile it in the other well um can you spread this cake with some of the strawberry preserve oh sighty oh oh there's a hole in it oh another one here's the other one be careful it's hot you know I quit my job at that Bakery why oh I got sick of the dough and thought I'd go on the loaf oh you should be proud of your achievement Miss see this cake is as light as a feather I'm sure you'll like it yes ma'am what do you all say the name of this cake was Southern Comfort yes ma'am uh tastes like Southern comforter you certainly like that cake do you mind if I Dunk Dunk do you like the cake here you'd better have my P too do you like that cake if I hadn't help bake it I never knew it was a cake oh yeah how's yours taste like a mattress want mine I'm stuffed now gentlemen I just received word that the Left Flank must move over to the right and the right flank must move over to the left gentlemen gentlemen I need your advice what can you suggest he's Ming he's been eating more [Laughter] chicken what is this what is this where did you get these can't you do something about this where did you get this Colonel we have information that there are spies in your ranks I'm here to investigate you don't think introduce me to your guests Oh by all means right this way gentlemen me major fil oh a victim of circumstance major filet's here because there have been rumors that they are Northern spies in our Southern ranks the major suspects everybody he's known as Blood Hound filbert and he can smell a spy a mile away I'm glad he can't smell him any closer pardon me I didn't quite get the name this year's Captain Dodge at a horse marine well I've got a quite a pleasant surprise for you Captain what is it major well they told me that your father came in this afternoon my father Yes boy Dad's here yeah is he still as tall as ever no he's rather short well he can't borrow any money from mea oh excuse me gentlemen I I got to take care of a week back pardon me how long have you had a week back oh about a week back did you see that here to the success of our cause and yes to the success of our cause where's Captain die sounds like trouble sounds like Lieutenant duck to me how is my son oh fine Uncle Tom fine Uncle Tom that's short for papy by the way Captain I forgot to tell you your wife also came in this afternoon where are you going I left my horse Park in the safety zone tell me Captain is your wife a blonde or a brunette well sir I really can't say you know when she first married me everybody accused her of being very [Laughter] liead woohoo Dy kiss me darling darling gentlemen this is Mrs Dodge my wife oh Colonel this is Dodge Let's Have a Drink To the Beautiful Mrs Dodge now we'll have this fixed in just a minute oh gentlemen you're very kind sir thank you and major I was wondering Mrs Dodge what did you do with your little baby baby baby oh my baby what have you done with my baby oh oh my baby what have they done with my child but Mrs do I I we there there don't worry dixo I'll get him him her her it I'm a victim of circumstance I'm going to faint oh she has fainted get her a glass of water no whiskey do you think they'll ever find him here honey where did you find it he was walking down by the railroad alone no I was with her well let's see the little darling he looks just like the captain [Music] yeah looks like you does he we had him down the beach all summer he got quite sunburned sunburned yeah here why what'll I do with him hold him for 30 days if nobody claims him e yard come get this baby here here I J you take it you take it I'll get them SP escapement gboys come on hey wait a minute in this tree trun hurry up men the guns the enemy is approaching [Music] edman yes fire I wonder what's become of operators 12 14 and [Music] 15 [Applause] [Music] la what a newspaper what an organization send those news Hawks in here yes sir you're a fine bunch of reporters I sent you out to get story and what happens nothing but boss we couldn't help it they got the place surrounded by rough neck guards and it's suicide for no Hawk to be in the neighborhood oh yeah look at the Star Press they got the story they got the story that's what I need on this paper more men like they have on the Star Press are they merry men or what I'll get a story or I'll tear the town apart I'll get a story or else oh there are three Star Press reporters now hey Star Press come on up here hey cut out the stall and go on up there yeah it's your turn I've been running my legs off all morning till the C so my pants afraid afraid of what you're a great bunch of reporters you're all fired get out hurry up come on stoop we'll all go come on [Music] oh what are you doing listening to the band would you like to hear some birdies I'd love it take off your hat get going this way please how are you boys how you doing how you do nice to see you nice to see you you how would you boys like to do a little work for me sure we do the best work in town yes and it's guaranteed sney we're colossal we're stupendous we're terrific we're even supportive he's always clowning where's the work boss well here's a story about Prince sham and old lady van Buell I want to find out if he really intends to press his suit he ought to a man can't get married in baggy pants you reporters to get me the lowdown on this story reporters we ain't oh you get me a picture of Prince sham and I'll give you each a $100 bonus what good is a $100 bogus bonus not bogus don't you know what bonus is sweet me Spanish bonus [Laughter] snatches [Laughter] I can't help it it's a gypsy in me I'll Gypsy you later okay boys you get me the picture so long so long oh come on hello is this the Farnsworth Employment Agency well this is Flint at the van bule residence what about the cooking the two buttles you were going to send me I know they're tough to get but I need some help well send them over as quickly as possible the sooner the better never mind that order everything's under control I'm your new cook there's your two buters oh Splendid so you're the new cook well now remember we served dinner promptly at 88 and uh incidentally uh are you good on stew sney he's always half stewed now whenever you're ready serve the drinks and don't forget the canopies canopies Oh you mean the toast with the lace curtains such levity you remind me of The Three Stooges hey that's an insult well now I was only joking carry on now what would he want with a can ofas not canopies canopies not canopies canopies one of us is crazy and it's not you right canopies or deres which one canopies or does make up your mind you put them on crackers they give you an appetite like a horse oh animal crackers yeah go on make the canopies what animal crackers listen feather brain take this camera keep your eyes open the minute you see the prince sniper picture make it a candid picture yeah can of picture of can of peas you want to start that again I wish he would have made a chopped liver here let's see canas ah canas animal crackers can't open canopies canopies oh can [Music] I can I please Prince sham would you have some ORD oh thank you Mrs Van buzzle by my dear this cier has turned green it's m what that's no C that's canopies so am I [Music] m you go get a picture of those two while I pedal a lemonade they're over there by the piano yeah are folks get your iced Cold Lemonade it's delicious you love it what's the matter with her here you are folks get you [Applause] here are folks get your iced Cold Lemonade it's delicious you love it here are folks step up now you love it it's have a lemonade listen you idiot that's for the guests and don't handle the ice with your hands you f brain I think you're right I'm starting to get chill blings hold this will you please go get the ice tongs yes sir everything's okay boss we get in all right yeah I'll see if they're Snapp in the picture goodbye keep I know how to hear I'm suffocating why don't you look where you're going why don't you keep your nose out of strange [Music] doors [Music] mommy oh Ice Town yeah oh owowowowowow here go on what are you doing I think it's silly too but orders is orders put those things away have a lemonade 10 cents a piece or three for a quarter what I'm sorry have all you want it don't cost anything here's eggs in your vest that's my 10th one today oh the help these days it's deplorable nice little turkey getting its bath at 7:30 and we'll be welcome cook by [Laughter] 8:00 you a wise guy huh there we are Vince sham I think we should announce our wedding date don't you oh well no my dear I think an aop would be so much more romantic uh but don't we plan to run away together next week [Music] huh it fall down I'm so sorry Prince stupid people oh think nothing of it my dear it's all perfectly all right I'm sorry madam can I take your glasses you know [Laughter] video what happened you fools get in that [Music] kitchen what happened what happened yeah one of these days I'll tell you Tel's up and I shove it right in your eye pipe down you guys I got some great news for you the prince is really going to marry to Dane they will open next week but I didn't get a picture you didn't give me that camera I'll get a picture I hope hurry back hey my try it's burning oh come on my shoe just my luck oh oh turkey I lovey man get out of here what's the idea of tearing that turkey apart with you don't you know if it's found that way we'll lose 100 bucks are you out of your mind what's the matter with you that turkey belongs to those people now don't let me ever hear you say or do anything again or a turkey don't worry buddy we can do without mashed potatoes good as no [Music] you here T the humiliated nothing like this has ever happened before he I just give you the point very well go ahead and carve it okay that's kind of you one what's going on here hey why didn't she kill this boy before I brought it in go on and cve it's haunted you shut up or I'll haunt you never [Music] never that's incredible [Laughter] this is an outrage I am leaving o you stupid oos please you Maniacs you're fired get out why you I'm quitting let's get out while I getting is good quiet Mongoose we don't get the $100 bonus until we get a picture of the prince you're right let's go and find him and don't shoot until you see the bags under his eyes come imagine that seering old fool falling for that line me a prince Jeepers Creepers what an I I told you to shut up what I Jeepers freers what an I I told you to be quiet come on what's that it's stand I got you with the gge in you're going to jail now sorry Mr Bull but the prince ain't a prince at all he's a crook we got a picture of Robin the safe we had him arrested yeah so there ain't no wedding and there ain't no story no story why this is the greatest scoop that ever hit this town stop the presses hold everything for an extra for an extra 100 you said it take this to the cashier and get your dough oh boys we're millionaires we're billionaires boys oh there you are oh my dear dear boss you saved me from a horrible fate you I shall marry inside of that terrible [Music] Prince I'm poison what's the matter what's the matter why you you want to me I'm standing here I'm do [Music] it oh get the tools what tools the tools we've been using for the last 10 years oh those tools now let me see but don't door goes on the right right wait a minute the man says the door goes on the right what's this a fist right or left oh ignorant eh now listen grapehead I'll explain it so even you can understand it now here get over here now when I say go we both point to the right go hey porcupine come here point to the right for this jump will you see get busy come on where's the map over there get me a board get me a board get me in what's keeping you make it 6 in make it 6 in make it 6 in get me the sword the [Applause] sord give it to me what happened nothing shut that door help M where is he's in there get me out of here get that door open I can't it's locked I ain't got a key get a swore don't lose your head now I'll have you out of this in the chippy hurry up what are you doing down there come here I think he wants you both of youy Mo it was an accident it'll never happen again we I couldn't help it oh oh oh you only fell 14 ft why you getting sore is that all it was yeah oh well I'm sorry fellas why are you w break it up break it up inspector wants to see it down at headquarters I didn't do it he did I saw him I'll be a witness he had the money right in his hand relax you're not under arrest the inspector has accepted your applications you mean we're going to be on the police force oh boy three apples I you me hun a blood hound mysterious burglaries Panic City police shake up as apan strikes again there you are commissioner there it is in black and white this AP man is making a monkey of the police department that ax can't call me a monkey shut up you baboon now look here commissioner you've got to catch that eight man just a minute Mr Dill we're doing the best we can as a matter of for a fact we suspect he's not an apan but a real gorilla real gorilla B look here commissioner you've got to catch that apan and if you don't as head of the Citizens League I'll have to demand your resignation I don't want to make you any trouble my friend but this thing has gone far enough as a matter of fact it's gone too far and something's got to be done but Mr Dill give me a chance we're trying and they're all policemen or only human beings you know how the newspapers build these things up I had six phone calls yesterday six calls from the IRA citizens demanding action and I'm not going to be the goat but Mr Dill nobody's asking you to be the goat my men will catch this a man or gorilla or whatever it is you're supposed to have an efficient police department and yet you can't catch a third rate hulm who masquerades of the monkey remember commissioner this is your last chance good night but Mr deal Mr Dill let's understand each other on this that Dill sure has the chief in a pickle I'd like to get that eight man by the throat tear his ears of a G's eyes shut up Taran you're all [Music] [Applause] wet how did you know hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello look out hello you said the eight man's robbing a store where yes the Brookman building come on boys the eight man let's get him un phone this thing it's locked where's the pass key oh I had one which one is the pass key oh the P key come on wait a minute what are you cowards I'll lead the way go ahead I give up I Surrender what's the matter with you I'm scared you're coward what are you scared of calm down calm down you stand God while we Fresh The Joint me you me I'll lead the way go ahead I'm not afraid I'm not scared why should I be afraid babies are afraid I'm no baby for how could anything happen I'm not scared hey Mo hey Larry what's the matter a woman she screamed she clawed me on the leg is that be is she pretty I mean where is she come on show it to us come on where you going come on oh do I have to yes you got it that hat she's in here scratch me the leg I really mean what woman where well I didn't see her but I could swear it's a bad habit you stand guard where we scch the rest of the room where's your gun gun oh the land lady's baby was crying so I gave it to the baby to play with here take my gun maybe it'll give you some courage now listen you see that front door well keep your eyes glued to it don't let anybody come in don't let anybody come out you get it don't you all right now no more of your screwy ideas there's no dead woman in here see I told you wait a minute that woman's a dummy like you don't do that you coward a dummy can't hurt you oh say for a dummy she sure gets around there's something rotten in Denmark and we're going to find it oh boy we're going to Denmark we are searching for more clues and don't disturb us wait a minute I don't trust her don't be yellow you don't have to be afraid with that gun gun oh is it loaded okay but hurry back right I'll lead the way get going [Music] one what happened I'm dying and you start a quiz program shut up and start talking remember my big toe yeah shut off almost next time you handle a gun shoot yourself in the head I'll make a note of it how do you spell head b o n e head oh oh oh oh look look why it's that Crook and he's wearing a f coat come on stick them up a man we got you covered hey fellas look no human is strong enough to bend a gun barrel like that it's real a real chimy pansy that's no chimp jump at the gorilla boy we sure have been running yeah as soon as we get our breath we're sure going to run some more all the way home ponzo ponzo where is that a of yours anyway he's been up here for an hour he's in here somewhere Mr Dill but you got to remember that gorilla was trained for a circus this Robin business is new to him yeah well this will be the last hall for a while you got to lay off until I get the police commissioner fired and when I become the police commissioner we'll really go to town how do you like that Dill's been using his job as a front he's really a crook come on we'll get him he must be in the store we got you one phony move Mr dill pickle and I'll shoot wait a minute this is getting monotonous oh monotonous eh oh oh that's different you see that yeah oh why you sh give Mo give him Mo give roll him over Mo I'll crown that D pickle hey fell I did it I did it P the wagon success I'm poisoned oh listen [Music] you the gorilla don't be scared don't be scared just run wait the box that sort of lifted oh what happened speak to me hey Mo hey Larry I cut my head off I'm dead nail my head on I don't want to be dead there's no future in it how can it be dead I'm talking that's a coincidence oh you all right [Music] kly rubber I knew it all the time [Music] [Music] wait a minute I've had enough of him too spread out boy we got the eight man what do you mean we I got him he my dear doctors it is indeed a pleasure to welcome you here for the beginning of your practice this letter states that in this group there are three of you who are not overly bright but but were graduated because you had been in the senior class too many years your identity I shall keep secret and will disclose to no one on one condition that you try hard and forever devote your lives to the Glorious cause of beauty and Humanity we will hello doc how are you glad to see you again spread out do you hereby solemnly swear to devote the rest of your lives to the cause of Duty and Humanity and humanity and remember when you hear your call come over the loudspeaker Rush immediately to answer as seconds mean lives yes sir calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard calling Dr Howard Dr Pine Dr Howard Dr room 66 Dr Fine room 72 Dr Howard room 83 room 6672 83 6672 83 on track 13 all on for Philadelphia Chicago and Points West emergency call emergency call 6672 calling all C calling call call come on get get going come on here oh a wise guy E I got a good M to hand you a ticket where's your driver's license hold over the C you I want to talk to you open your mouth what's your name anaconda anaconda what no no just anaconda anonda anakanda anaconda 95 and eight Anaconda 95 and eight that's awfully low do yeah we ought to sell sell 100 aoun 95 and eight 100 aoun soon come on get going going put your arm out the break it [Music] up oh cutie pie yeah get off of that carrot no get off of that carrot come on get out of here get out of there take this Carriage out I'll take it when I'm ready are you ready yeah I'm ready all oh Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away yeah yes that's true well then why don't the patients you Apple Dan a hospital expenses huh pardon me if I laugh that's a Pippen oh I know what a Pippen is you doing what's a Pippen a Pippen is an apple with a skin on the outside did you ever see an apple with a skin on the inside oh sure I did you did uhhuh where in homemade apple [Music] pie Dr Howard Dr Pine Dr Howard calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard Dr Howard report to room 66 Dr Fine 72 Dr Howard 83 Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard report to Dr Grave's office hello Captain you sent for us yes how'd you find that patient in ' 66 under the bed how'd you find the patient in 72 up on a Chand what'd you do for him nothing what do you ever do for us what are you working here for a duty and Humanity calling Dr Howard Dr Bine Dr Howard get up [Music] J calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard watch it there is a messenger boy down in the lobby to see you send him up here I am what's service give us a message can't 75 cents collect who's it from it's from a Dame by the name of Nelly girl what does she say she says she loves all three but she'll marry the one that does the greatest thing for Duty and Humanity thanks hey how's about my money I'll tell you we'll toss right pay a double or nothing yeah he'll call it because he's Tongue Tied that'll make it easier um are you got a coin yeah that'll really make it easier what is it head or tail what is that it certainly oh then you lose we'll split this three ways brother you telling me just a victim of circumstance how is she doctor a slight hope that's too bad what's the matter she's in a coma I am not I'm in a bed gee the joint is haunted how old are you I'm 35 nah you couldn't get that in 35 years L down give me that that thing there yeah can't live till morning just a minute just a minute what do you gentlemen know about medicine why we graduated with the highest temperatures in our class some class you said it kid some class what are you trying to do why you don't even know how to deliver a proper anesthetic boys give the doctor a little anesthesia a winner every time no blanks say doctor do you really think I'm going to get better I'm very sorry but I'm afraid you are oh thanks doctor you don't know how I really appreciate it doctor we're Mighty proud of you you've done a wonderful thing for your manity and when we leave here we're going right down to the president's office and we won't say a word about it what's the matter what are you button in for calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard report to Dr Graves office remember our oath for Duty and Humanity get go kind you call us yes and just another thing uh uh hello hello hello hello hello don't let that body go out of 84 until the bill is paid I ain't got nobody yes it's an 84 yes hello yes yes yes yes yes ni busy say there's nobody on your line I know but I'm expecting a call just a minute go to room 81 there's a dangerous patient there and hurry hurry don't get nervous the patient ain't going no place hurry that is the momentous question I once asked Hamlet and he made this suggestion he said go for a walk and I met dog water water water fellas let's give him some medicine oh guess c scrs c scrs en SI that's it Duty and Humanity you know once I was crazy you see that button hole rats used to come out of that as fast as they come out that grab throw them down and another one will come hey you you ain't well yet why there's another one coming out now you take it I've got enough of them I'll be seeing you look great big giant green canaries green canaries move over you got company Dr Howard Dr V Dr Howard her shoes are too tight a Cold's breaking up wait a minute pitch that an octave higher oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] ho Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard terrible disaster at the oil wells 20 men injured radium is the only thing that will save their lives give us the radium and we'll get going it's locked up in the safe I can't get it why not during the excitement I swallowed the combinations of the safe put a burning cigar in my pocket you got nothing to worry about but you don't understand the combination is in here you still got nothing to worry about we'll get it how we'll operate me yeah you yeah no no boys give them the anesthetic and see me in the operating room later give everything's ready we'll make an incision like this no we'll make an incer like that no we should make an Excursion like this all Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard shut up shut up yourself should I give him more sodium Hol give him my Coca-Cola no schnaps oh stop we might got him what do you want me to do kiss some wait a minute let's plug him and see if he's ripe say why you we are Whispering I don't know why you're whispering but I lost my voice asking for a race an Ana an Chef 1 2 3 4 fin an ayic anic cotton C cotton cotton up here H sh hi here is it cotton cotton cotton cotton there it is he's got it he's got it needles needles needles needles scissors scissors scissors scissors success success where are the tools the tools tools Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard are you coming calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard calling Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard calling Dr Howard Dr Dr Howard call Dr Howard Dr Dr Howard Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard where is that noise coming from where is it where can it be Dr Fine Dr Howard there it is Dr Howard Dr Fine Dr Howard they got me for Duty and Humanity [Applause] he let me get my hands get out of here wait a [Applause] minute now beat it and you mugs don't get your stuff till you pay up your back rent he can't do that to us just because we're eight months behind but he did yeah well I'm going back and get my other shirt get my other pair of socks that's standing behind the stove right yeah but he won't let us in Hey listen to this man collects 30 $3,000 damages from hotel slips on cake of soap in lobby and gets huge judgment do you hear that all we need is a cake of soap and we're in business let's go up and get one wait a minute he won't let us in oh he won't eh feel that muscle very good I'll tear him limb from limb I'll chop him to Ribbons I'll wreck him I'll trush them I'll give him I'll give believe me come on oh oh oh look soap just what we're looking for oh boy let's go boy this is it a hotel I can feel the money jingling my pocket now start slipping we start soon keep your eyes peeled for anybody go ahead [Laughter] hey why don't you mind your own business no know with some people came out of nowhere now you work with me and I'll see that you're put in a tub and nobody uses [Music] you why you dummy don't you dare hit me in the head you know I'm not [Music] normal see that now why don't you do things right I've been trying but the soap is too big soap is too big get your leg up here here I'll do things right hey [Applause] porcupine hey you quit eating your lunch we got some things tourist good afternoon Mr scrin won't you come in never mind the formality what about the interest on your note well here's $52 Mr Scroggins it's all I have you know business has been very bad but I'm doing the very best I can I haven't time to listen to your excuses you have the rest of the interest in 10 days or I'm taking this dump over but people won't stop here unless the place is fixed up and I haven't any money to do it with we got to help that poor old lady come on wait a minute she'll have the money on time yeah and I'll see that you get it too me myself I personally I'll guarantee it see and who are you who is he why he's one of the biggest steelmen in the country he'd steal any I mean his steel is known from coast to coast will he steal and how is that your hat yes why don't you get your head simonized just for that I'll dispossess you oh boys no don't worry Mom he can't dispossess you for 30 days and by that time we'll have you on easy street oh how can I ever thank you don't try by the way here has $52 I just found in my hand why that's the amount I gave Mr Scroggins now ain't that a coincidence we'll take care of everything you go see a movie oh thank you single feature say did you notice the beautiful watch Sagan's had on notice it I got it this will by Paint and Wallpaper I won't need the soap anymore come on fellas let's go I got the whole thing Hey kid are you hurt yeah but I don't care come on get a move on okay okay to the creek with the boys I'm going hurry up with that board oh give me that net lock it [Music] off away [Music] away to the boys the for water or so wait a minute you dimwit don't you know nothing about driving nails are you that dumb can you see where that nail is pointing that nail is for the opposite wall come on oh now get busy oh that na don't belong hey what are you going to sleep now for you know what hango hango what happened what happened say a few syllables I'll annihilate you a mighty a wrong syllable get buy over there can't stop using left-handed nails St nailing wait a minute turn up [Applause] head come on get busy and lay this stuff ready [Music] go and come on roll it back I got to figure out a way to fix this I'll fix it well would it be possible for us to I don't think it would be possible get back get [Laughter] back hey hey hey what are you playing around for you know what got work to do it double crossed me it's sabui I tell you well sabui you get that weight hold that roll lift that BGE tote that bail Z what am I doing P that back there now over left these let it on right you lay across all three of them in there right let's go hurry up you guys this floor is hard and iik all now what we got to do is figure out a way to get the whole that settles it we get rid of this lolium and paint the floor come on Pitch it out of here 1 [Applause] [Music] 2 [Music] this looks SC enough to be good come on let's look them over look boys see who's coming look wello twitch him that'll be good for a couple of lasts anyway huh if he get a good right up in his column the place is made yeah but if he knocks the place Mrs Brown will lose a hotel you get them seated we'll get the show started it better be good let's go [Music] I hope you enjoy our new place Mr twitchell thank you thank good evening friends I would call you ladies and gentlemen but you know what you [Laughter] are tough audience we we have a request from the bus boy yes to execute a song entitled she was bred in Old Kentucky but she's just a crumb up here Maestro [Music] Maestro play oh the cows were flying about as the wife made sour Crut so weak that settles it that settles it I Quit part of the routine I'll murder him like that audience hit me with a tomato and made you both said I had Talent a tomato yeah cowardly tomato one that hits you and runs will I get out there brother I'll wow him what's the idea get out on that stage oh I'm already I wasn't talking to you bbo relax I'll call you when I want you come here blubberhead haven't you got any more brains than to walk off a stage when you're entertaining people besides we got to help the old lady and I get out there and mingle with the guests listen you mingle or I'll mangle oh that's different you don't know the show must go on now go out there and mingle with the guests maybe we can overcome a bad start wait on them Dam with them go on out the kitchen and get busy come [Music] on do you mind if I cut in not at all if you dance like you act I know I'll get home early oh thank you yes thank you come on shorty don't be no dead pants smile come on give in oh that's better we're in the groove [Music] now trying to what are you looking at me for miss you [Music] [Laughter] h [Music] [Laughter] [Music] h well fat man you're quite a dancer oh thank you oh Jasper I want you to meet Miss stamp Andale how do you [Laughter] do fresh come on let's finish our dance DS waiter do you have a Patty deaga I'll see if the band can play [Music] [Laughter] [Music] it pardon me pardon me let [Music] me hey W oh boy food at last give me some food oh lovely food [Music] [Laughter] h [Music] keep it up you're [Applause] or oh oh mice [Applause] mice get away get [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] away hold it hold it I'll get it I'll get it [Applause] [Music] [Music] h [Music] la

Channel: The Three Stooges+

Views: 82,037

Keywords: Three Stooges, The Three Stooges, 3 Stooges, Three Stooges full episodes, The 3 Stooges, Three Stooges in color, Curlys Grandson, Curly G, Moe Larry Curly, Shemp, Curly Joe, Joe Derita, Three Stooges cartoons, Disorder in the court, Three Stooges Plus, Stoogetalk Live, Stoogetalk, Nostalgia, Comedy, Slapstick, 1950s, 1930s, Classic Tv, Classic Film, Abbott and Costello, Bud Jamison

Id: 4OdBftWjPeU

Length: 209min 58sec (12598 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 13 2024