The Therapy Crouch - Oh GROW UP!

situation at the moment with brexit and you go I'll just grow up and you put the ick in prick did I carry a dress off nice long frock welcome back to the therapy Crouch with me Abby Clancy and me Peter Crouch yeah so what that's like a half-hearted Peter Crouch why is it that instantly sounds like you can't be bothered not at all no I'm really happy to be here good because I'm happy I really enjoy this I enjoy it you know it's a chance for us to sit down together and talk and reminisce and it is for me a form of therapy in a way good and all of this wouldn't be possible without our fabulous listeners thanks again for all your amazing and wonderful stories because without you it would be it wouldn't be anything because I've been talking to him for 16 years and it's uh where and then great to have the audience involved and I love that you trust us with your incredible stories and the funny and I'm glad we can help out in some ways yeah it's good that they get in touch because um some of the stories we can then relate to our own lives and things that have happened to us so you forget half the stuff you're moving together that long um there's loads of stories that I've forgotten that triggers things that's the thing I think you know I think when you're in the public eye people automatically think you're a million miles away from them and what you do on a daily basis and I think we're completely normal and the things that make us sad make us happy make us annoyed the same as everyone else's don't you think yeah that you you pissed me off the same as any other couple wasn't it so you think Abby's completely normal peace that's not true you're not normal so last week we came up with the concept of a weekly wine club uh where we opened a bottle of wine and you get a few things off your chest and then this is a very important part of it you're then quiet while I have my say okay okay and I've also I've opened I've cracked open a little bottle of wine for us and I say a little bottle of wine because you uh asked me to buy the wine and I didn't but I found half a bottle left it's my first wine his husband who doesn't do one thing he's told we haven't been having wine in the house just just to not drink you know waking up fresh clear head motivated full of energy obviously after lockdown and stuff you know it's you know when you didn't have anything to get before and go out we were just having a couple of glasses of wine and it's not the way forward so it's just little those little hangovers in the morning for no reason you're like why'd I do that and we just because we went two bottles instead of two glasses yeah and um yeah we're all on nothing aren't we kind of kind of oh yeah well we're nothing but looks of it today we've got like one glass of wine left in a bottle let's stale um so cheers well cheers so do you want to uh do you want to start because I've done how long it's been there I'll be honest it's not great it tastes like Port yeah it's a bit it's not idea we'll get through it because we love the wine club so much but it's not ideal into the cars so talk to me what's your problem other than me not buying wine so you actually really hate my feelings this week really yeah for some reason on my phone like things pop up about you like stories like recent stories that are in the press or Peter Crouch is doing this Peter Crouch is doing that and this one article popped up where it said um playing football having children is nothing it doesn't even come close having children doesn't even come close to the feeling you get when you play football I'm actually going to try and find this on my phone now because it was actually disgusting you don't think that's true well this is this is something you know that we come across I think when you are potentially in the public eye um you know stories and words can be misconshued hopefully it's Crouch compared football okay I've got it Peter Crouch says getting to the Champions League final was better than the birth of his kids explain that one have you got the exact quotes on that yeah um three days ago you said this yeah but obviously said it a while ago they've just put it in it so you did say it well Loosely Peter Crouch has risked the fury of wife Abby Clancy by saying that lip that the Liverpool's past is a Champions League final was better than the birth of his four kids he goes on to confess that getting getting to the Champions League final was better than the birth of his kids the striker only came on as a sub you ain't even a real player you weren't even involved so how can you even how can you even say that I was Liverpool's top goal scorer on the run-ups that final level with Kaka for the played in the final we might have won it and I might have become top goal scorer wouldn't have existed but you didn't and you didn't play so there you go so how was that better than giving birth well it obviously wasn't with hindsight but um getting there that moment when we the client scored the winning pennaway anfield um and that specific moment was sorry it gets worse look I love my two girls and my two boys but I have to be honest getting to the champion Champions League final is better let me explain you know you're going to have a baby for nine months sure it's wonderful when they arrive and all that and they're healthy and all is well with your partner but there's no sudden shock there's no explosion of noise around you you don't feel like you're taking your top off and running around the hospital and if you did you'd be launch into a massive and if you did and launched into a massive knee slide it wouldn't be into a sea of Limbs like it was when I scored for spares against Man City what the hell yeah that makes perfect sense what I'm trying to do is like what I'm saying there is nine months you know that this day's gonna happen and you know what our obviously the births were quite controlled we knew that they um we went in we had the baby and obviously that that feeling is is incredible um but obviously you get the baby but you know but like we go into a game there we don't know whether to win a win or lose there's 50 000 people screaming get get into a chat that particular moment that that happens is pure Elation it's a different kind of buzz having children I think you go wow like this is so incredible and it's mind-blowing and you know your life's about to change for the better but for that adrenaline Buzz well I can tell you I had a massive adrenaline bus at the time you haven't you haven't played in the Champions League neither of you did you even come on I played last night in that game obviously the final was the final and that was a disappointment you know much better having children but that getting to the Pinnacle of a Champions League finals the Pinnacle football reaching that and sharing that moment it's different is what I'm trying to say it's very very different it's not better it's not worse it's just a huge High I don't get it I love how he's dug into this he hasn't even just gone yeah babe sorry about that look at it it's good oh no I did say that I'll stand by it I know like it's different that's all I'm gonna it's a different kind of of Buzz so what's the moral of this story do you think um don't when you're promoting a book don't shoot your mouth off the moral of the story is it words more carefully Pete okay then so let me hear your weekly wine um I've got a couple of ongoing issues um that uh yeah like just things that have you know over the course of our relationship really that I probably we're sitting down with conversing we're talking to you okay now the the main one is that when I lend you my bank card when you lose all your own bank cards and you I lend you my one and you lose it with no regard and then uh comes back to me said I've lost that one I'll get a new one and then I go right you can borrow this one just for just for half a day and come back and you've lost that one as well so how many times has this happened drinking over the course of our relationship ten double figures at least yeah and I I admit it's it's the weirdest thing like it's like a joke how this happens like the other day I was sitting getting my hair done in the chair in our kitchen and I had to pay for something online and I don't have Apple pay or anything like that on my phone and I'd lost my bank card so it's like peeking of your Vanguard and he said yes bought whatever I was getting online then he was going out and I was like have you got my bank card and I lost it and I hadn't she hadn't left the chair and nowhere to the LIE it disappeared and every time it disappears like what about in Portugal and went to the to the shop and I come I took your bank account come back and literally went to get milk come back with Bangkok got lost it and then the Builder found it at the gate in front of our house because I'd obviously had it on my knee in the car got out the car to put the gate code in fell on the floor and by the by the front step like what on Earth like this for me it's the blatant disregard for my personal things like keys I have to hide keys and any bank cards from you don't know anything that's I think you're quite Brave lending your bank card so I'll be full stop no I was a fear of losing it but yeah losing all your money yeah it's uh yeah well that's my ongoing issue and you know I've broached this before but I just want to make it more formal why now is that because you've just got a new bank card and is that your way of saying yeah you know one left now and um you are you will not be receiving it at any point you sort your own banking situation out okay fine okay so that's the wine off our chest weekly wine club hey yay I actually think this leads us quite nicely into today's topic I think if we're going on this headline vibe I know it's like a really cheesy subject but I think people want to know what's really going on you know when they read the newspaper because I'm I'm a sucker for it myself like I'll read these like crazy headlines about myself and go this is absolute nonsense where are they getting this from and then I'll turn over the page and go Posh and backs are on the rock you know what I mean it's like it's so true it's nuts and then you read the story and it's it's nothing like the other day there was one like Peter Crouch has threatened to leave I'm leaving threatens Peter Crouch um after Abby's purchase I'm like oh my God and then you read it and it's like Abby and then it's a lovely story Peter Crouch says he's leaving if she brings one more living thing into the house it was when I got the puppy these headlines are designed to like drag you in just to sell papers yeah I suppose was there is a headline when you dig deep Prince her but even things like we saw in this podcast like if someone took that and put uh put it into a headline um you know it's said in Jess like most of this what we talk about here we're having a laugh aren't we we're not you know we are not on the Rocks but there's things that maybe annoy me and I might say say that or you might say that about me but we love each other and that is I think clear for everyone to see and and that's one thing about doing this podcast because quite in this way because the cast is going to create some mad headlines for us and probably headaches we don't need but then if you're not going to be you when you're doing it and you're going to edit it and look a certain way and not be yourself what's the point you know what I mean what is the what is the point in doing it you know people we've decided to do this podcast because you know we feel like people are interested in us and I would like for people to get to know us more as a couple and more get to know our personalities more but you were actually really concerned about because lots of things that you say things on my I'll say things on my podcast like and everyone knows it's a joke I think sometimes maybe because people don't know you or don't see you around or hear your personality as much they'll take things literally yeah whereas actually I know you and you are actually quite funny and you'll say things that are funny funny looking they're they're set in jest but put out there yeah it looks terrible like you when you said that you killed me when I lost no I said I battered you said you batted me well I went on to the farm I went on our Rivals podcast Rob Beckett off your number one spot now [ __ ] no I went on the Rob Becker podcast because I love his podcast I thought it was hilarious it was actually the first podcast I've ever listened to even though my husband was like number one in the country it was the uh Rob Becker podcast that I listened to and I I was like I love your podcast he was like do you want to come on it and I just thought I'm gonna be myself I'm gonna there's no point in self-editing or whatever I know Rob anyway so I felt comfortable speaking but what my fault is I always forget there's like millions of people listening and things I say can obviously sometimes come across as a bit Brash or is that word again and I said I told this story when um Pete lost the baby in the farm I went the Lou come back the kids were in the soft play Come Back Jack's nowhere to be seen he's like one at this point and he'd got out the automatic door and was just roaming around the farm on his own and I was obviously hysterical um I said on the podcast and I battered Pete in front of everyone but that's just like a figure of speech she didn't really batter me basically um she wasn't happy with me obviously it got a verbal battering which is almost where Stone talking to I think was would be the right time yeah but it you know it's just things that you say can easily you know be misconstrued and I think another key factor to that is being a woman like if you say something funny it's like oh my God they take it literally or like unless you're a female comedian you can't be seen to have a bit of banter and I am always in trouble for this don't you think yeah no I agree yeah and that's obviously what your concerns about doing this this pod because if you take things sort of out of context I think if you listen to this you understand we're having a laugh and we're joking about things um but like if you take it out of context it can be very different because if people really thought you thought I was a nagging fish wife who lost bank cards and was Brash and shouted at the kids for not doing their homework you know we wouldn't be together for so long wouldn't be together for 16 years unless you're just terrified to leave me yes I'm very tolerant well I love you and I like I love that about you I don't like the fact that you like Bank you lose bank cards that annoys me but I like the fact that you speak your mind and I like the fact you're funny and you could company so well done and kind and kind but how do we get here that's what I want to know is like how did how do people know us and that's the important question of the day well people know you because you were um a mediocre footballer a bang average footballer we did a silly dance who looks who looked weird you don't look weird thankfully so much I think he looks of what got you here really joking definitely not that you know what loads of women message me on Instagram go and Pete's so fit and it I get so jealous really loads loads but they're all like 75. finally the numbers though now people people get it Pete people you don't look weird I think I think I've got better with age like I was a gorp let's be honest um and I did look different and I think that makes me stand out don't look different you just your height different yeah your face doesn't look different from a normal person but yeah no I mean listen I played football I first remember um you know people recognized me when I was uh at QPR but it was only people from you know locals yeah local kind of football people who who knew who I was I was only really when I moved to Liverpool and played for England that's when people who don't know football then start to ask questions and want to know a bit more about you um but it it is funny with you though because there's hundreds of footballers and even before you started [ __ ] around on telly um you were a household name like grannies knew you the kids knew you you know before you came like a a number one selling author and a pod father and a judge you know you wear a house I'm not I'm not babe I'm not you you wear a household name then like because I remember like Holly my friend from school Holly and Nan used to keep like every newspaper clipping of Pete for me like every time I went around like people I don't know what it is about you that made you stand out from everyone else because there's only like a few footballers people know it's like you David Beckham Ronaldo maybe Rio my Edge in there you know just to you if you don't know football you mean yeah if you don't know football yeah and there's no there's no rival reason for that there was there's plenty of better players than me around but I just think I do think the height thing and I think the robot you know became a thing um there was a couple of quotes that I said that may you know sort of the Virgin one yeah I think that was a thing yeah so for anyone who who doesn't is not familiar with this um Peter Crouch once said if he wasn't a footballer he would be a virgin which is actually genius but quite offensive to me it kind of makes me just be like a little bit of a gold digger or something yeah yeah it's quite you're actually with me when you said that we were together yeah I think that was in the 2006 World Cup wasn't it it was a little bit later than that we were I think we had a child and everything at the point he said that and I was like it was a long day of interviews you know like and you're asking the same questions and by the end I was just making up silly things and that was a quote that sort of followed me around when that first Stars has happened when you were saying you were going out getting recognized maybe people started asking you for all this crafts not just people but you as well I'll be that kind of impacted the the change way of kind of thinking or behaving or did it make it change at all um I think I think what propelled you into maybe the public domain was when you came to Portugal with the England team and you've just been on Brit's next to model and then all of a sudden you you know there was a lot of people were taking interest in the footballers wives or the Wags if you were for one of a better term but Victoria Beckham was there Cheryl Cole was there there was um you know Frontline poles what they were they were quite well known um and then you you came how did you feel because I always think you were just a young 19 year old girl and then all of a sudden you're just thrust into that mad mad world that was a little bit normal for me but must have been really difficult for you yeah well I think you know the day you asked me to go I'd literally just got back from London I've been on Britain's desktop model for eight weeks they cut all my hair off I put a stone on because I couldn't stop eating with nerves the whole time and I had a suitcase full of dirty clothes and he was like do you want to come to Portugal and I was like oh my God it's actually the first time I'd stayed away from home for um a massive amount of time so I was like I was a bit scared and my mum and was like just go you'll have a great time I was so worried about tearing up as me with all my normal clothes some h m and Zara and you know seeing all these girls head to toe and designer with the bags and the outfits and I was a bit like oh my God but you know I went first off that's something that I just didn't take into consideration I just thought that'd be a nice thing if you came being in the public eye you know no matter how small or big it is it does change how you feel and your confidence and it was very daunting for me and did I was so scared and then we had a we had a difficult few years didn't we then really difficult few years because we were constantly trying to avoid any attention you know it was Rafa Benitez was measure at Liverpool and he was like I don't want you you know being around this like you know we were getting photographed and things like that and I was like oh I don't want this what we're doing and we were constantly trying to hide and we've we found ourselves just like in our house weren't we constantly like floor beds watching Sopranos um not wanting to go out because we obviously wanted to be together but we didn't want to be seen out together because it was drawing attention from the football it was it was creating a lot of media frenzy rarely just simply down to the shop to get your local to get your weekly shop there was Paparazzi everywhere and we lived in Liverpool and it's a small place and they seemed to just get us every day and I know you were you know it wasn't a good look for you as a professional footballer because you know the manager's seen it as a distraction so and I know your like family weren't too happy about it so for me I felt like a lot of pressure on being judged for maybe being with a footballer to be famous yeah it's such a tricky subject for us because anyone who knows us knows we're not like that like it's funny about like yanan like what your nan used to say I'm like my dad like they're like I don't tell anyone like who you are already or who I am but this guy from down the roads asking if you're awesome you're like how do you even know to stay with me Dad my dad's always like well I was in the pub the other day and this woman come over to me like are you happy cumsy's Dad you've obviously said oh my son-in-law's Peter Crouch and I'm avi's dad or whatever my grand used to do it all the time I remember my grandma used to get the train down from Macclesfield I always go and pick her up at the station in London and uh without fail there'd always be like a young lad carrying a bag without doubt and I'd go like he'd go oh this is Sir John I've been on the train uh he's sat opposite me and he was going oh he's so lovely I didn't say anything but um yeah he just he's a Tottenham fan or he's a Liverpool fan or we just got chatting and I was going well obviously he didn't bring it up but she was so you know she was really proud of me yeah she was constantly just telling everyone that um you know I was a grandson and it was lovely and you know everyone was was really nice with her and but she was really proud of it and that was a nice that was was a nice thing well I think the funny thing is that you know the age we've had our our kids have not experienced you as a footballer so they're like completely in the dark to Pete's football career because obviously the three four seven eleven Sophia knows a little bit and she went to a few games but obviously when we had the little ones Peter retired and so they have no idea they just think I don't even know why they think you're famous really like they obviously when we're out and stuff like people who come over for a photo and they get in the photos don't leave it like that and sometimes like my little girl who's 11 now takes them but I've never really sort of like sat them down and explained you know who I am I'll just go live they go a couple of little ones or so why are they want your pitch with that and I'll go because daddy used to play football remember and they go oh yeah and then other people play football they don't have photos yeah but that's it like that no no now they think you're famous for being the judge on the massinger don't they exactly which is the the best thing in the world for them like they are like Pete's done so many incredible achievements football-wise and the kids just think is the bee's knees that he's the judge on the bus singer because they absolutely love it do you know what I mean don't they and they're like oh to me but remember when lib's like when Sophia was a little girl and used to hear us like in the soft play going to people do you watch strictly I remember as clear as they were in the soft play and uh there was a little girl and they were up the top and I was sort of underneath um at the table and I could hear her talking or making a friend she must have only been about seven or something and uh she was going to this little girl George strickly and the girl was like no it was like my mum's on that and the little girl went ah and just Dude I kept hearing I said but she never once said oh my dad plays football yeah exactly never once I think it's because it's the whole dancing thing and the costumes they just instantly are drawn to it I remember um Sophia and like our friends Jason and Stacy from Liverpool they own a ram trampoline park in Liverpool and the kids made a video they filmed themselves and made this home video anyway and one of them walked in and went are you Sophia Crouch the door the daughter of um 2013 strictly winner Abby can see and she goes yeah and then and then she goes to the other one are you are you um Harriet Barton the daughter of the owner of Spring City Liverpool and she's like yeah like the kids take in of what their concept of Fame is and why people want photos and why we're in the public eye it's weird we've never really spoken about it have we it's like even like little things like I'll go you know we might be going somewhere like can we go there dad and I'll be like I don't really want to go because it's so yeah busy in there and I'm thinking if I don't want to go in there I like Chessington or something I'm like yeah they'll be why not everyone else is doing it and they'll be like oh I just don't want to to put myself in that situation you know yeah what I was Finding funny is these um I remember as in my friend Stacy is in Liverpool we were late to taking the kids to school so we're feeding them in the car I had a bowl of Rice Krispies in my hand I just had a baby put the baby in the car and a baby bowl with a baby spoon and Rice Krispies in next day in the paper as oh Abby can't see something Rice Krispie diet to get a figure back wasn't it yeah yeah I had people like I was going to train him and some of the lads would would say to me um oh just my wife made me ask this question and I was like what uh just obviously ABS on the rice krispies diet like what does that consist of scan are you [ __ ] mad how the hell are you talking about also what do you think it consists of yeah do you have like is it breakfast lunch and dinner those girl it's just the baby's bathroom look from the car like it wasn't oh no that was the baby food diet sorry the rice crispy diet's a different thing that was the baby food diet and I'm like but as if I'm gonna if I'm on the baby food diet which I didn't even know is a thing I'm not going to eat it out of a baby's bowl with a baby spoon I was feeding the baby in the car like it was nonsense isn't it but like getting out there like with with the babyweight stuff like I don't think anyone could believe like how quickly you get back to that exactly how you were um so people are trying to find what you did what did you do see that's a lot of pressure in itself that whole pressure on women to lose weight after they've given birth is a tough thing and and I felt like some of these stories about me could have had a negative effect on women like you know like I was trying desperately to be thin I I wasn't you know when I'm my baby my main focus was obviously number one the baby and then for me what I personally did was you have to listen to your body um before you do any working out or diet or anything you know my main focus was taking care of my baby and taking care of myself and that did mean eating healthily you know I wanted to have energy to look after the kids um and when I felt like the time was right I did go to the gym I enjoy Pilates you know I love taking the babies out for for walks but I must say a lot of my for me a lot of it is down to genetics my mum was the same like she said she lost her baby weight relatively quickly and the same did happen for me but I don't think pushing that out there is like a positive message to to women because it puts people under pressure when in fact they should just be enjoying being a new mum I don't say it was different aren't they like everyone said there's probably too much illness on like oh I need to be like this celebrity mom who's done this and dropped it you know all her weight in a couple of weeks yeah like it's not it's not right is it every every person's different it might take a year two years it's like what's right for you what isn't going to be right for for someone else exactly I think think my key message there but just listen to your body and take your time and do whatever feels right for you yeah and like for the deadline mine just fell off that good operation I was back to fighting fit a lot of people say you're so skinny and yeah I have the opposite issue yeah yeah but that that's that's also not nice either no I listen I struggled with that my whole life like I've had even since I've retired I've had to I've had to eat more and train more to keep weight on you know that I'll just my metabolism's so quick I just always been like that and I have you know it's it's a it's a problem but I you don't speak about it because people see it as a as a bonus like I wish I could eat what I like um but I I have to try so hard to keep way on which is a different problem the fake news thing even you know with this pug ever like trying to get it out before it was out secretly like feeding out um questions we wanted people to get in touch but we didn't want we weren't necessarily we were ready to reveal the project yeah we were doing it yeah yeah and and it was in the paper that um our marriage is under the rocks and I'm looking for the public for therapy and advice how to stay together it's under the Rocks I'll stay on I said on the Rocks I think basically yeah Dad Dad and Barry did I say under the Rocks I don't believe that reminder anyway leave it in because under the Rocks is the new on the rocks and buried which is just Bonkers isn't it so what explain that again I was super obsessed with the Rocks um now when I was obviously drip feeding these questions out the Press um did a report saying that our marriage is on the rocks and I'm seeking to my fans for some advice and we're going to therapy or something like that oh which is half true really well this is called the therapy Crouch and you were asking people questions no it's not but we are in therapy it's just a podcast no Pete it's called the therapy Crouch babe I do find it funny like the whole celebrity thing I even hate saying that word it's embarrassing but that like say we go out together or like an event or something like that like no one has any interest in what I've got on I mean like why is that you know I'm just wearing a bang average suit and everyone goes there's Peter in a bang average suit and then like the app it's like every every time she goes to an event she's like on the front page of every paper and the Brit Awards you're always on the front aren't you and I'll go to the petrol station like next day in Seattle but I was there as well don't be jealous you [ __ ] I'm comfortable with it but it's a definite it's like I don't know like people want to see girls don't they in nice dresses maybe you should start wearing dresses please instead I'm sure that I grab a few headlines for Harry Styles could I carry a dress off nice long frock well you like you are partial to an address am I yeah when every time we go to our friends you create a wardrobe and dress up that's all outlandish statement it's not what I put dresses on when I go around to people's houses yeah LBD lbps [Music] dresses on every time she had to she used to hide her clothes before she said like when she was getting ready for a night out she'd be like get ready make a bag check bag check did it hide my dresses so when we come back and have a drink afterwards check you dub them all on stretch and everything really yeah there's nothing funny though when you come in like I won't put you know your jacket on or something come in and throw a few shapes we have a laugh and then we move on you're partial to a fair coat yeah I do as well yeah is it your party trick it goes down well it doesn't it does Fair coat no knickers literally Fair coat no knickers there must be a thing with you because you used to just buy fancy dress outfits and just dress up for no reason I think like they're good to have in the house aren't they just remember like the prop box we lived in Cheshire and we had the the box full of the prop box yeah it was I mean that's awesome that replaced the squat box yeah but you know like you're all just rounded like it might be a lull in the evening goes out the room comes back in as Chewbacca everyone's everyone's right back in the party mode literally hey like just a quick Chewbacca and bang everyone's you're back on again aren't you we've had some funny times like dressing like maybe I used to every time we used to come home from a night out I used to dress Jason remember I put them in that um swimsuit like a shiny like PVC silver swimsuit side boots our friend Jason he's like five foot five and like a size zero so he's like the opposite to Pete and all my clothes are too big on him so it's so funny like uh like Dre we dress them up all the time so funny do what we should do we should get them on like you know this is a recession where you have to have a celebrity couple one night to interview like just get our mates on like that I I knew them before I knew you yeah but my brother knew Jason before Jason knew you how weird is that how about that for like women to be together Vibes yeah that is amazing and you know the fact that you're you know you're really good friends with them they're our best friends no no but the funny thing is you're really good friends with them yeah they're our best friends they were my best friends before yours that's what I'm saying like this it's so getting them on would be if you're interested to see the dynamic of you know how we when we got together and you know how much they hated you and how they like you but you know what that's actually a really good idea because you know in therapy when they get people into like mediate you know what what's an intervention it'll be like a reminiscent funny funny story intervention great game for a title that one isn't it yeah because if you know you know yeah but you know I mean like this we don't have to have like celebrities on there are best friends they know us better than anyone and they could you know bring up stories that we can't even remember no you know we will develop into getting some guests on and talking about story but I think they should be a guest as well but I think it'd be quite interesting right let's get into this part of the Pod where um we people write in with their you know messages stories uh questions for us um we like to call it the agony Hub yeah I'm glad you've put a bit of structure into today's pogs I think we've just been let's go let's go right today's Agony first one is hiab uh no mention of me my boyfriend who will remain nameless has become a bit of a viral sensation on Tick Tock I now find myself in a relationship with someone who thinks they are famous oh God uh to me dancing for the approval of a bunch of 10 year old school kids is neither big nor clever and in my eyes he's started to put the ick in prick did I write this is did I secretly rewrite this to my own podcast do you think he asked me you think I'm like that well you did a freaking dance to Children robots and went into a viral sensation and you put the ick in prick I'm joking of course we're madly in love this has been a pretty big adjustment for me that I was not expecting I also find myself a little bit jealous of the attention he's getting off random as both online and when we go out have either of you had similar experiences when you first started dating someone in the public eye uh master from Michael 27 yeah I feel like I've literally wrote this question myself so one of our first dates I think I've talked about it previously in one of our other episodes is when Pete was dancing in the car on the way home from the date and I was I the word ick wasn't around then but that definitely gave me the ick well I knew I'd love you what because I didn't know you and you were like that great tune I mean he's got to feel it you just feel it you go with it it was just so weird I don't know why I did no I I am no I do get it you know I think with with social media and stuff when things go viral you know it'd be easier for his partner to like become obsessed with that and you know play up to the whole role or whatever my advice to Michael would just be if you love him so much ride it out it's not gonna last it'll be over before he's gone viral well I think maybe you should look at is like if if it was happening with him like would probably love it that's what I'm saying would he would he embrace it um maybe ask him to involve you in his tick tocks I don't know anything about Tick Tock you do I don't know there's been a few tick tocks I did one with Sofia because she asked me to be in it I know so you're probably better equipped for this answer I I think tick-tocking um if it's called that uh is way out of art we are you know I'm over 40 now so I find the whole thing um a bit strange and you can be like an overnight success can't you it's like it's things happen really quickly and obviously yeah he's enjoying it but um I suppose you can get carried away a little bit but maybe just Reign him in and just speak to him and say um yeah Rebel just this time to grow up and how old these people are if they're in our if there are age brackets well Michael's 27. oh God he's Bubba so I I don't know I mean you know he's he's the best answer to anything I just think like if whatever you say if you say to someone grow up it's amazing even when they're doing something like that's really but remember we had no we had someone else talking about this grow up everyone goes that was the best term someone said to us the other days remember it was almost discussing brexit he said I'll just grow up because we didn't want to hear it it's the best so some of the speakers at something really intellectual like um oh my God what do you think of the current situation at the moment with brexit and you go I'll just grow up someone if someone's about to bore you it's something you don't with something really really intense just say I'll just grow up because no one knows what to how to deal with it no one knows no one knows a reply to grow up honestly you just froze stop showing at your tracks well it's the best dancer nerve some if you don't know if you can't join in in a conversation especially in an intellectual one I'll grow up I'm a friend of ours um was going through a potential breakup and the girl oh my God messaged him and said this big long message about how um you know how her feelings are going they don't think they're connecting and um and then we'd he asked for advice and we said just text back no grow up we nicked his phone and just replied grow up what was the reply of the worst thing is it's like obviously she's being really in touch with her feelings and she's she's being really adult about it and the fact that you're saying just grow up it's phenomenal oh I love grow up so funny so yeah Michael I love grow up just tell them to grow up hopefully that's helped you Michael um I mean Kyle should we go on to another one hi AB hi Pete um I've known for a few years that one of my friends ex-boyfriends fancied me oh dangerous territory very dangerous uh this went on even when we were still together as I as he would always give me subtle lingering looks and hugs whenever we would see each other and we had quite a flirtatious relationship but that's the furthest it ever went fast forward a couple of years and they've now split up but I see them both fairly often as our kids attend the same school previously kids involved yes previously I would never have imagined going with one of my friends exes but lately she's become very distant with me without giving any reasoning which has been very hurtful to say the least and I can't see as having much of a relationship in the future he's slid into the DMS a few times over the past couple of months and has asked to take me out on multiple occasions I've continued to say no but now I'm wondering if I should just go for it what is this because the girls not speaking so the girl the female friend is not speaking to the girl why isn't she speaking to her well that that is not in the email she might not be speaking to her because she's going out with hairex the plot thickens wow do you know what I mean that's what I took out of that now that was she might have found out that he's been sliding into her DMS and then how would she how would she find if they've split up she wouldn't be able to know what he's who he's texting yeah I don't know well for whatever reason she's been produced no I think the friends avoiding hair because she's with hair ax really was all outlandish things it's not where my head went I'll be honest but you know you this is this is called the agonyab well I wouldn't go with one of my friends ex's book you know Rachel was all right I'm friends wasn't she and up with Joey Chandler everyone Ross and a baby with Ross and was going out with um Joey Joey and no one cared okay so any advice I think it's a difficult one to navigate I don't think like if you're close with this girl I don't think you should there's plenty of men around plenty more fish in the sea plenty more fish in the sea I don't think you should ever go with a friend's ex really definitely something I wouldn't do it's not within my moral compass to do that at all you wouldn't do that any of your friends no no way I wouldn't I think I think be very careful with that one it's not something we would do but you know each to our own and you've got the schoolyard thing involved as well yeah I could make for some value yeah I think that'd be quite confusing to the kids but who are we to judge no no in this day and age you can do whatever you want what time for one more should I read the next one yeah I'm sorry my partner and I have been seeing each other for about five years now initially our sex life was amazing and we couldn't keep our hands off each other but naturally as the years have gone on things have started to slow down a bit this has gotten worse over the past six months and we are lucky if we get it if we get it on once every couple of weeks because I have to bloody fine he's lucky him he Peter 41. so I think he should grow up no once every two weeks what's he complaining about oh my God he's getting action all over the shop after watching the TV show open house on Channel 4 where couples experiment opening up their relationship with threesomes and couple swaps he turned to me and said he would like to explore opening up in our relationship oh my God is adamant he doesn't want to break up but just have the option to sleep with other people occasionally this is not something I've ever considered and I've only ever had eyes for him I'm worried that if I don't at least let him think I'm open to the idea that he'll just go and do this anyway behind my back I brought this up to my girlfriend's own they have all said that I should play him at his own game but I'm unsure if this is just going to be a recipe for disaster what do you think oh that's from Sophie 35. yeah sounds like a recipe for disaster I think but you know you watch these shows and stuff like people to do up to Mad stuff aren't they yeah but it's all so bloody um on the Telly you're not gonna start what's going on show and then killing people do you know what I mean that serial killer thing the Netflix oh Jeffrey Dahmer you know that's a TV show people aren't going to watch that and go now yeah but there's plenty of people like just because we aren't like that doesn't mean um there are lots of people well there are lots of people doing this kind of stuff aren't they I think yeah you have to if you're asking us or our opinion our opinion is that that shouldn't have really happen for me obviously I'm I'm not a prudish person and I'm not judgmental and you know I think with these things there's a lot of you have to be very politically correct and inclusive but for me if you suggested that I'd be very hurt yeah because you know I I would just think opening up our relationship to a third party would just really hurt my feelings and then I don't know you could do something like that and then be completely fine the next day but that's just my honest that's just my personal opinion you know people might think that's wrong and I'm improved and but you know that's I think she sounds like she doesn't want to do it no and I think playing games is always a recipe for disaster so she's going to start going a while pretend that I want to sleep with a guy just to play him at his own game it's not gonna end well no um you know from my point of view obviously you're more than enough for me um on um birthdays and anniversaries you forgot Christmas that doesn't happen at Christmas as well twofold yeah oh so constipated after that big big turkey I've just done hey guys me and my girlfriend have decided to take the plunge and move in together I already owned my own place which I've spent years working for and she was just renting with friends and it only made sense for her to move in with me which is what I offered the place she was renting um didn't allow pets so the dog that her parents bought for a few years back has been staying with her family home ever since they bought it the other day when we were chatting about moving all our stuff over she made a comment about Coco and Coco's staying in the bed with us which really initially which sorry which initially baffled me I have now figured out that she is expecting the dog to be moving in with us now I wouldn't generally describe myself as a pet lover I'm barely a human lover and I have met this little bundle of Hell on multiple occasions and can tell you now I will not be stepping it will not be stepping a paw over my door for starters her parents have made no effort to trust train it which means that it loves a little it loves to leave little presents all across the home including in my brand new trainers it also molts like there's no tomorrow it's quite possessive over my girlfriend and loves to get in the middle when we are cuddling on the couch I don't know I don't want to start this new chapter of Our Lives on a bad foot but this is an absolute hard no for me how can I best approach this without hair to my girlfriend's feelings too much or even worse putting the brakes on us moving in together Lee 30. oh difficult one that isn't it I've been there mate um it's difficult to navigate uh because people take their uh pets very seriously don't they yeah once they're in they're not out unfortunately so they are going to come as a package she's not going to get rid of the dog is she it's me or the dog but what I will say is you've got the power now you've not moved in together as soon as you move in together getting the dog out is a No-No that won't happen but now you have the power if she wants to live with you you you need to set the rules you could say he's allergic to dogs great idea lie perfect when in doubt lie it's alternative advice on this part isn't it um it's a pretty consistent Our advice actually in this scenario like saying you've got uh so is this is this an example of when lying is acceptable yeah definitely like she's not going to get rid of the dog she loves the dog more than you let's be honest um but the dogs lived with their mum and dad in her old place anyway so it's not like she's lived with the dog and she's got to separate from the dog to move in with him so the dog doesn't even live with what he could either say you he could speak to the mum and dad and be like look this dog this molting [ __ ] machine is not coming in my house so now he has to be more diplomatic than that he could bribe the mum and dad and say look I'll give you 500 quid please say you can't live without the dog it's got to stay with you and she can visit please I don't want this dog in my house but also you know it's all obviously a new relationship they're just moving in together if they're moving in yeah but he wants the mum and dad on side doesn't he and if they you just want the mum and dad thinking that he is an animal hating you know wonderful and if it is a molting ship machine they probably equally as much went out their house that's true I reckon that the Dad's going like palm palm it off with this with him well he could he could take this one step there there if he wants to be really authentic with his lie that he's allergic to dogs he could go for an allergy test find out something he is allergic to then I have loads of it when the dog comes so he gets like a full rash oh it's phenomenal and then say Oh my God it's the dog it's amazing yeah he's literally rubbing peanuts in his eyes I know that's extreme but I have got quite a far-fetched mind but it would work it would 100 work he needs to have a face like hitch yeah so like full-on or you could just like walk into a beehive and then pretend that he's alleged she could go he should go get go out with the girls today and look after the dog you can walk try and find a beehive jump in a beehive come out of it all bitten by bees and stung and be like oh I've been just with the dog one day and look at me you can't stay here no he said he just put a pair of Speedos on go swimming in Nettles come back and thank God I don't know what's happened since I always had the dog on my knee and this this has happened because honesty is not going to work in this in this no because she loves she loves the dog so if he goes look I don't want the dog she'd be like you horrible evil Cruella yeah maybe you know maybe don't go that far but rub rub a few nettles on your face I think would be fine uh yeah go on here rap um it says hiab 12 months ago oh are you conversing with his email he says hi AB hey 12 months ago my partner secured their dream job in quite a high-end restaurant in the middle of London with them being a chef since we met I already had quite a good idea on the demands this job would take on them and it's not uncommon for him to work up to 70 hours a week which I admit is basically double my working hours at the start of our relationship we both had shared passion for fitness and exercising however lately my partner has really neglected this part of their life oh God and it's beginning to show I don't describe myself a superficial at all but I love him and I began to notice my myself becoming less attracted to him physically which is now spilling over into other areas of our relationship I do feel like I put up with a lot already he frequently comes home smelling like Billings game he frequently comes home smelling like billingsgate fish market and is too tired to shower I'm gonna say shag then oh my God he no longer has the energy to cook nice meals for us like he used to when we first met and they often had have to attend social events alone because he is working all of this I could put up with but I also feel like I've maintained the body I had when we first met so he would still fancy me and he's not putting in the same effort I do not want to come across the shallow but this is really starting to affect our relationship and I have not the courage to tell him I'm not the courage to tell him out of fear of her and his feelings any advice would be greatly appreciated that's clear um fit from 29. this is Claire fit 29. difficult one I mean this is from the ladies perspective look at it from his point of view he's working every hour God sends he has got time to go the Jeremy comes in he's exhausted can't even have a shower he's that tired she's only working half the amount of air time go in the gym because she's got loads of free time and then she's moaning you can't love him for who he is she's not good enough for him but what if he's getting like real you know the person that he was but everyone knows like when you when like when you're making your own food you pick it you're picking it aren't you yeah but what do you think I'll make a roast dinner I never want my dinner afterwards because I've been eating it the whole time no I get that totally it's probably like picking all day turning into a little bit of a house I think there's probably other cracks in this relationship and this is just yeah well he's working too much number one but maybe he has to 70 hours a week is so it's tough for him well it's a hard job a chef isn't it on sociable hours as well if you put weight on I wouldn't not love you fancier yeah but that's the difference that's not my problem is it if I went bold oh God you'd be gone yeah so that's a bit harsh to that like I don't I don't want you to be bald some amazing men who were bald like there isn't one I actually don't even know what he looks like but I know he's bald and like honky exactly like my dad bought some men's suited but you definitely wouldn't okay but would you like if you didn't tell me when I went bald and I was pregnant if I was working really hard and I was bored and I was coming home stinking a fish not showering and you were becoming less sexually attracted to me you would I feel like you would tell me instantly you'd say look this is not happening you've got to sort this out so I think Honesty is the best policy here which completely contradicts the whole just live from the last question yeah but I think in that situation it was all about lying this one is um okay let's not mess about now seriously he's working every hour God sends he's got no time to go to the gym that was obviously their little thing that they did together and he just there's not enough hours in the day for him at the moment to do that maybe he needs to look at the job um maybe he needs to look at the job and he needs to to find something with a balance because this balance isn't working and it's going to end in tears exactly Pete sold me this dream of when he retires we'd be going to the gym every day together walks lunches no he's on every channel every radio station every pod Outlet every magazine and on every bookshelf and he's going bald [Laughter] throw up and what what's the answer what's the answer no I think I think I think have an honest discussion I I think you know sometimes you have to like we I know we have a laugh and a joke about it on this podcast but I think um I think sometimes you can actually give good advice and I think in that situation is honestly is the best policy say look you come home just thinking of fish I don't think they're thinking of fish thing's a bad thing because he works and food like when you used to go to stoke you used to come home stink another canteen do you remember and I used to me but I used to say that to you yeah strip off of the door and get in the shower now like I wouldn't even let him in the house because as clothes stunk of the canteens like food smell and it used to knock me sick I used to go whoa here we go get in the shower and just come downstairs hahaha so I I think she should be able to if the relationship's deep enough or they've got a strong enough Bond she should be able to say look this job you know it's it's interfering with our relationship I miss you I want to spend more time together lucky letting you you you're working so much you're letting yourself go and you know she could just spin it onto it's not good good for your health I don't even think you've got to say like Let Yourself Go you just say look you're becoming you know you're disheveled you haven't got time for yourself anymore you know so enjoy today's podcast we've got a few things off after chest at the start the weekly wine club's taking shape we had a tiny little inch of wine I love how your um you're in 16 years the only wine you can come up with about me is the one that you had the first day you met me yeah how good's that folks well I've got too many issues and and we laugh and joke but I love you and that is the that's what it boils down to I enjoy spending time with you there's lots of things that piss me off about you you're obviously beautiful which is Handy um but this pod I think has been a nice therapy session um again we've got things off our chest I feel like we've helped people um we've probably ended a few relationships there as well but um and in the course of it we discussed what it's like to be I suppose in the public eye I'm sorry if it was a bit random today but I think that's just us being us and we've loved hearing from you again today and please send in your stories or if you want to contact us in any way get in touch on the therapycoach.com bye grow up [Music] don't touch it [Music]

Channel: The Therapy Crouch

Views: 167,907

Keywords:

Id: CLjwMvTOcbw

Length: 60min 40sec (3640 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 07 2023