An in depth analysis of the Caretaker's "Everywhere at the End of Time"

art that represents a feeling isn't meaningful feelings are temporary you can feel happy but that doesn't mean you're a happy person just like you could feel sad even though you're not a sad person it's all about your state of mind that's why famer money can't actually make you happy it doesn't matter if you're happy about winning the lottery or getting famous because eventually those feelings of happiness will give in to your state of mind good art represents a state of mind that you can associate your feelings with it makes whatever art you're consuming way more personal and naturally way more powerful but what if you couldn't make that association if a piece of art represents a state of mind you have not been in is it still going to be personal i'm talking specifically about an album called everywhere at the end of time it's more like six albums that make up this one big six and a half hour long musical project this thing puts you in a state of mind that you have never been in and despite that this is literally the scariest most emotional most personal thing i've ever listened to and there's not a single word the entire six hours everywhere at the end of time was a musical portrayal of dementia a disease that slows and eventually stops your brain's ability to think learn and remember the six albums that make up this project correspond to the six stages of dementia each stage has its own unique album art and description and like an actual dementia patient the stages get more and more distorted as they go on the project was created by leland kirby who's been making music under the name the caretaker since 1999. his music consists of old manipulated samples of ballroom music from the 30s and 40s that in some cases are kind of sad and nostalgic and in others confused and really scary he does so by utilizing this thing called a late motif i think that's how you say it which means this he uses this in everywhere at the end of time a lot he actually uses this across his whole discography and it's a really great way to show the deterioration of memories one version of a song may be slow and melancholy while another is distorted and confused to the point where you can barely recognize it it literally makes you feel like you can't remember i'd hear a song in stage one and then i hear that same song in stage four all manipulated and distorted and i'd ask myself have i heard this before i wasn't sure if i was hearing a song from earlier in the album or if it was reminding me of a song i'd listened to before i knew what everywhere at the end of time even was later stages turn into this kind of auditory eye spy where you're just trying to find any melody that you think you may have heard just to comfort yourself from the confusing sounds it's a really weird feeling and it just gets you so much more involved with the music and the concept with that being said i barely talk about the lame motifs and this is on purpose i want to leave some things for you to discover for yourself and if you decide to listen to this album i'm not going to spoil one of the best parts signs of memory loss for an actual stage 1 dementia patient are no more a fault of the disease as they are just a fall of old age it's very mild disturbances that are completely normal for any old person to experience and usually the stage of dementia goes unnoticed for that reason but think about if someone was aware of their dementia as early as stage one they may not be any more forgetful than their other older peers but when they are forgetful it's so much more emotionally stressful little mistakes become so much more disturbing once you realize that dementia is responsible for them that same logic is what makes stage one so good if you were to listen to stage one without any knowledge of the whole dementia thing then it wouldn't really be disturbing it's just very melancholic ballroom music and it actually sounds very nice the little distortions would not stick out you could just blame it on the poor recording equipment of the time but chances are if you're listening to this thing you're aware of what it's about and that awareness puts completely new meaning into every aspect of this album you start to realize how intentional so many parts of this album actually are i want to make a point to talk about the song names for each stage and while i do think they play a more significant role later they still are important here so i'll talk about it quick the song names in stage one all feel very personal like there's actual emotion that went into naming each one they're poetic like the music the names have this kind of melancholic nostalgia kind of energy to them they make me feel like this person is reminiscing knowing that their life is coming to a close but they're okay with it they're content with the mark that they made on the world and they're ready to move on that's one of the things that makes this project so sad this person is going to forget everything that's making them content with their death in the first place there are definitely songs in stage one that kind of foreshadows something worse the final song in stage one my heart will stop and joy is an example of this the song has always given me such a weird feeling and personally i think it's one of the most important songs in the entire project there's such a strong sense of conclusion but when it plays there's still almost 6 hours of music left it's like the end credits of this person's life are playing but in reality it's the end credits of this person's state of mind sadly this person does not know that and they only come to terms with that fact after moments of denial anger depression and eventually acceptance these are my top three songs stage two the sadness of this album lies in its feelings of nervous anticipation for what's coming music is still cohesive but it's no longer happy song names still have emotion to them but they're defeated and hopeless confusion hasn't completely rolled in but it's bad enough to where this person knows something is wrong and the refusal to accept that leads to some of the most emotional parts of this entire project stage 2 is lying to itself if you notice earlier i mentioned moments of denial anger depression and acceptance these are actually the stages of grief and i find that they guide the progression of stage two it starts with a losing battle is raging this is the first time you can obviously hear serious signs of mental deterioration so far and it's actually the only time you hear them on stage two the song is very important it's the moment of realization for this person that something is wrong and it puts the first stage of grief in motion denial a sad and kind of empty clarinet solo plays over this short vinyl crack loop that plays over and over and over there's this weird dissonance in the background that literally sounds like the musical personification of brain fog and honestly the whole thing terrified me the first time i heard it as a listener you naturally try to tune out the background noise and focus on the clarinet almost like you're just as much in a state of denial as the person with dementia is this person is trying their best to deny the fact that something bad just happened but deep down they know that it's just the beginning of something way worse for that reason the general mood for the next few songs is much sadder despite not being much more distorted than stage one for someone going through the five stages of grief the feelings that they denied themselves build to anger and frustration and then eventually depression the next few songs of stage two follow this same progression and result in some very high highs and very low lows this roller coaster of emotions eventually leads to acceptance the way ahead feels lonely is one of the most emotional parts of this entire project all of stage 2 this person has been putting up a fight in a battle that's impossible to win the way ahead feels lonely is when they finally come to terms with that fact and while it's extremely scary accepting what your future holds there's definitely a level of peace that comes with that acceptance it's such a powerful concept that this song conveys perfectly these are my top three songs stage three stage three has some of the first genuinely empty moments as well as some of the last fully coherent ones this album was relentless the general mood is kind of confusing since there aren't really any happy or sad songs it's more like a stimulated versus unstimulated kind of thing and i'll explain what that means a stimulated mind with dementia is very frustrated trying to recall dates remember names or answer questions are all things that make the effects of the disease way more obvious to the patient and this gets them upset the first few songs on stage three represent a stimulated state of mind some songs are loud confused and aggressive some songs end suddenly and abruptly while others drag out and repeat themselves over and over but despite all this the music is still significantly happier than stage two i think this represents a thing that actual stage three dementia patients may show signs of called i don't know how to say that it's basically this condition where you're unaware that you have a mental illness and that's really important in understanding how this project progresses from this point on if this person is in denial of their symptoms of dementia moments where their mind is not being stimulated are actually very peaceful there isn't the frustration of having to answer questions and recall dates and there isn't any sadness that comes with the thought of having dementia because well they don't even believe that they have it for that reason social withdrawal is also very common during this stage since socializing is so stimulating sublime beyond loss is the last big musical moment you hear for a while the rest of the songs in stage 3 are very distant like they represent more of an internal monologue opposed to the behavior that other people see so the music is much happier but it's really disturbing because the thought of being so confused that it's almost enjoyable is not really a good thing this whole idea of happy or sad becomes way harder to understand as you get further into everywhere at the end of time words and phrases from song names in earlier stages are used in stage 3 but the words are all mixed up and cryptic which makes everything sound way more confused despite not having much meaning song names still have emotion to them since they're based off of names from earlier stages that actually meant something i take this as this person knowing that they are lucid enough to remember the importance of a memory but not enough to remember the details that made that memory important in the first place this is my favorite album on the entire project and these are my top three songs stage four the album cover of stage four shows the silhouette of a person with a smear over their head leaving only the face a face that doesn't really have any features on anyways you don't need to hear the music to know this person is starting to lose grip of their own identity stage four is the first of three post awareness stages kirby describes post awareness stage four as where the patient's serenity along with the ability of their brains to remember singular memories may cause confusions and horror these stages only have four songs each being around 20 minutes and without any real flow or structure you can still hear instruments but you can't really grab onto a melody for more than a few seconds moments of coherence are few and far between so enjoy them while they last take a second to think about what this is supposed to represent a person at this stage of dementia doesn't know the date they don't know where they are they start forgetting details about themselves it's impossible to actually understand what it's like to have dementia by listening to everywhere at the end of time but post awareness stage 4 makes you realize that dementia is so much worse than you think the slow but inevitable deterioration of old people music is already scary enough think about it happening to your brain there's something disturbing about the song titles three of them literally just read post-awareness confusions in one temporary bliss state they're very straightforward and lack any emotion unlike the previous stages it's these deadpan song names for a big blur of memories that aren't really even distinguishable anymore there's this point in stage 4 that comes out of nowhere and it's one of the scariest musical moments i've ever heard people call it the hell sirens and there's a few different ways to think about what they mean i read a lot about people saying the hell sirens are supposed to be a ptsd war flashbacks kind of thing but i think that's just because of how scary they sound it makes more sense for this to represent a severe episode of this thing called sundown syndrome which is a pretty common condition for dementia patients at this stage symptoms include rapid mood changes which is why i think they come out of nowhere anxiety or fear sadness anger hallucinations paranoia violence all things i experience when i hear the hell sirens stage 4 actually closes with some nice ambient music but the thing i was talking about in stage 3 still holds true the parts that sound nice are still disturbing i've been meaning to bring this up for a while now but this whole nice but disturbing thing is actually a very important concept in understanding the caretaker's music kirby uses the phrase empty bliss to describe this concept imagine being so frustrated with your confusion you wish it would just start getting so bad you don't even realize you're confused it's terrifying that the thing you are initially dreading ends up being the thing that puts you out of your misery like i said the whole idea of happy or sad becomes way harder to understand i remember asking myself how does it get worse from here and oh my god it gets so much worse stage five [Music] stage five is the second post awareness stage it's the bridge between confusion and emptiness this is where it gets very difficult to actually put into words how this project makes me feel you get a better understanding by just listening to this thing so bear with me at this stage everyday activities are impossible to do without assistance patients start losing their ability to speak and to hear they forget major past events they forget names of family members they lose their ability to walk they lose their ability to smile i got a chance to talk with kelly tuschel she's the owner and operator of two family care homes and works mostly with dementia patients at all stages of the disease here's some things she had to say regarding stage five dementia patients so with dementia at all stages especially in the very late stages of dementia they can be very very confused and not understand anything and out of the blue they will say something completely appropriate like something as simple as oh i don't want to eat that and then they will revert to nonsensical gestures hallucinations or behaviors would that lead you to believe that they're still themselves but they just can't express it properly yes so that they're like they're still in there yes this is such an interesting concept to me through all the confusion can be a random and unexplained moment of clarity [Music] there's no medical explanation for this and it really makes me question what dementia actually is these moments of clarity are shown in the music at this point you will have been listening to confused and incoherent noise for the past hour and a half the beginning of stage 5 makes stage 4 sound like a lullaby confusion is definitely at its peak and then out of nowhere is like 30 seconds of actual music ironically this moment of clarity is more startling than the confused sounds you've been hearing for the past hour and a half this is such a heartbreaking part of the project to me because i'm just left thinking is this person actually losing their identity or are they just losing their ability to express their identity after my discussion with kelly i feel pretty confident in saying that dementia is taking their expression away not their identity this makes everything way more upsetting the first half of stage five is made up of two songs both called advanced plaque entanglements these names make me feel like this person is being minimized to their medical condition as if it is their identity both of the advanced plaque and tanglement songs follow the same progression they start extremely confused as bad as it gets and then slowly devolve into these long deep ambient drones this is one of the saddest parts of the entire project for me the back and forth between confusion and emptiness makes me think that this person is still fighting to stay aware but inevitably the further stage five goes on the more prominent the emptiness becomes stage five ends with sudden time regression into isolation this is the last time you hear the frustrated confusion that's been playing for the past three hours in a way i feel like this person still values their confusion despite being scared of it this confusion tells you that there is still one thing that this person hasn't completely lost their awareness but there's still one stage left and unfortunately it continues to get worse stage six the thing that separates everywhere at the end of time from other experimental projects is its slow progression towards emptiness for this reason you can't really understand how heartbreaking stage six is without listening to the stages before it every second leading up to this final stage is crucial in really understanding this project stage six is the point where confusion turns into emptiness patients at this stage can't speak they can't hear they can't move they can't swallow they can't learn remember or understand these are the final moments before death stage six has the perfect palette of sounds to get you thinking about these concepts and the symbolism of this project in my experience it's when all of the concepts of the last five stages started to sink in and it's when i really started to realize how scary dementia actually is the four songs on the stage in the last four songs on this album are called a confusion so thick you forget forgetting a brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat long decline is over and place in the world fades away these names have gone from basically medical terms to some really depressing existential concepts in a way this project has kind of come full circle the names in stage one and the names in stage six both anticipate death the context is just very different while stage six's names may not be emotional they're poetic like the first few stages the neutral energy that they give off makes this person's mortality sound very matter of fact which just kind of emphasizes how unforgiving dementia is it's a slow moving but unstoppable force stage six is basically the musical personification of that idea for example a confusion so thick you forget forgetting which conceptually is the scariest song on the album for me the distorted white noise that plays in the background makes your head feel so empty and then randomly you get these loud deep distorted ambient drones that feel like they just keep getting louder and louder i really don't know how to describe it this person's mind is empty and the occasional thought is terrifying and completely incoherent deeper into stage six is when the idea of empty bliss is most prominent almost to the point of being overwhelming long decline is over is honestly beautiful but in such a defeating way i feel like this is the perfect name for this track it lets you know that you've made it through the hard part and things can't get any worse from here you've reached a point where the confusion has gotten so bad you don't even realize you're confused empty bliss has been hinted a bunch of times earlier in the album but this is the first song where it takes full form place in the world fades away is the song that finishes its project off it does not disappoint this is the happiest and saddest song i've ever heard this is leland's most beautiful representation of empty bliss and his entire discography and i honestly cannot even put into words how emotional this thing is this person has no idea about the heartbreak their disease is causing their loved ones to feel because to them the moments before death are actually the most beautiful they could finally be put out of their misery the last five minutes of this track are actually the saddest five minutes of music i have ever heard most people who listen to this thing can agree with me on that i want to go into different interpretations of what this ending means but i don't want to spoil any of it so i won't let me just say that it makes this whole experience worth listening to i have never been so emotionally affected by a piece of art and i don't think i ever will be again i want to end this video by taking a look at the album cover for stage six it definitely stands out from the rest up until this point each album has been a painting on a canvas that serves as a visual depiction for the person's state of mind at each stage but stage six is different it's a painting of that canvas you can see the blue tape that outlines the border of where the painting should be there is no painting within that border there is no state of mind to represent but you're not looking at the blank canvas within the blue borders where that painting should be it kind of breaks the fourth wall and shows you a new perspective that you haven't seen before a perspective outside of that blue border you can see the entire canvas why in the same way that each painting was restricted by the blue border around it this person's state of mind was restricted by their disease death is inevitably what frees this person from their dementia that's why stage six shows you a perspective outside of the border dementia takes away your expression not your identity it doesn't destroy your state of mind it just restricts your ability to express it death frees this person from dementia and gives back their ability to express themselves and they express themselves through the memories they had created for others or the personal belongings they left behind they express themselves through the people they meet in the places they've been everywhere at the end of time is good because of the context it provides stage four isn't scary without the context of the stages leading up to it stage one isn't disturbing without the context of the concept being about dementia in that same way the meaning of this album relies on context the effect that a person's life has on the world is undeniable everything they do is a butterfly effect every single person has directly or indirectly impacted the world in a significant way there's so much meaning in the impact that your loved ones have had on the world but sometimes the context of their death is what makes the meaning of their impact more obvious dementia doesn't get rid of someone's identity it just redistributes it at the end of this person's time their impact is given a new meaning and their impact is everywhere they are everywhere at the end of time you

Channel: zaza

Views: 1,809,377

Keywords:

Id: HV_1fnktD8w

Length: 21min 51sec (1311 seconds)

Published: Tue May 25 2021